Being possessive in relationship is not always sweet. Oftentimes, it’s one-dimensional & borders on the abusive.
It doesn’t provide the same kind of love and romance that a great love story provides.
In fact, possessive relationships often can lead to destruction. People seem to romanticize the possessive side of relationships, but there is nothing positive about it.
Thinking that someone wants to stay with you, even if they don’t get anything in return, seems nice and endearing.
However, it’s one thing to make someone happy and another for someone to be manipulative, controlling, and even destructive about that need.
Possessive relationships are not fair or equal. However, they do stem from ownership. When one partner is afraid of losing their significant other they may become insecure and jealous.
It’s important to recognize what are the causes, signs, and ways to control possessive feelings in a relationship. But first, let’s understand what possessiveness exactly means.
Possessive in Relationship Infographics
What does it mean to be possessive in relationship?
Being possessive in a relationship is sometimes the deep desire to hold onto someone and not let them be with anyone else or even pursue interests outside of the relationship.
From the happiness felt in the early stages of a relationship to the disappointment caused by what turns out to be a fulfilling breakup, we’ve all experienced some type of possessiveness.
The idea of belonging to someone is central to the phrase “be mine.” There are five ways people feel love or possessiveness: words, quality time, touch, acts of service, and gifts.
But jealousy extends to more than just taking pride in a partner’s accomplishments or getting annoyed when someone flirts with them.
Possessiveness isn’t just about having someone. For a lot of people, it’s also about not losing them.
This makes people feel sad, angry, and afraid. Trust is a really important aspect of a healthy relationship.
To trust your partner, you need to feel like they’re reliable and care about you. People who have high levels of security will believe that.
Possessiveness often stems from insecurities related to attachment styles. People with attachment anxiety tend to have a negative view of themselves and a positive view of others.
They worry their partners can’t be trusted, which causes them to become clingy and controlling.
Having a healthy level of possessiveness may indicate that the person is suffering from a borderline personality disorder.
These people often have mood swings, exhibit excessive possessiveness in order to avoid abandonment, and experience extreme jealousy.
Relationship issues can start to arise if you let your possessiveness get out of control. Examples of this are jealousy, physical & emotional abuse, paranoid thoughts, and stalking behavior.
What causes possessiveness in relationship
If you are in a relationship and your partner is jealous and possessive, it can be difficult to maintain healthy relationships.
The important thing to remember is that jealousy is a deep need that can only be met if the person they care about is with them.
If a partner needs their attention all the time, they might not be able to balance their own life.
Before you commit to taking the first step of action, it’s important that you understand the root of the problem that your partner is possessive in the relationship.
1. Depending too much on them
It’s been believed that being too reliant on somebody else or thinking about them too much doesn’t lead to anything good. You might get possessive, for example, or let your insecurities pile up.
2. Need of personal space
Everyone needs some me-time and no one should interfere with that. If they do, it’s only going to create problems in the long run.
3. Being insecure
When one becomes possessive, they also feel insecure and might start doing things that should be avoided. This can lead an already broken relationship further apart.
4. Too many wants
Similarly, desires are hard to overcome and human beings naturally have this element in them from the beginning.
Desires have no boundaries & the more one desires, the harder it becomes to let go of something. Adding fuel to an already raging fire happens when a person becomes possessive.
5. Unrevealed fear in the mind
Many people experience possessiveness from time to time.
This might be related to a hidden fear in the mind, and this could be that they would lose someone they are very close to if they let them get too far away.
6. Absence of loyalty and trust
There is a direct relationship between trust and possessiveness. This could be because as trust grows in a relationship, the desire to possess the person also grows. However, the inverse is true.
If a person lacks trust in their partner they will start to feel like they need to protect them from the outside world.
Ever had a friend or partner who you love and trust? But when one of your partner’s friends and family members comes over, they seem to be less pleasant than usual. Right?
Jealousy in any relationship can be perceived differently for different people, but often it is about your own vulnerabilities, not about the other person’s actions.
Everybody has their own triggers, some of them are more obvious than others.
If you’re prone to jealousy, it’s important to talk to your partner about your experiences so you can work together on your relationship.
When you’re feeling insecure, it’s easy to feel jealous. People without an upbeat outlook on their self-image may find it difficult to believe that the person they love, loves and values them.
A lot of times, jealous relationships bounce back and forth. This can cause resentment and unrealistic expectations for partners.
It’s not even good for mental health to constantly put your partner on a pedestal.
8. Being too kind
When you love someone, it is natural to want them as your own. You’re happy they’re yours. You want them to care just as much as you do.
If that feeling gets too intense, it can hurt the relationship though – and even cause problems in the future.
Why do guys get possessive in a relationship?
In the past, women have had to struggle to be taken seriously in the world. Social norms have dictated that men are dominant and women are submissive.
However, this is not an accurate depiction of human beings as we can now see more and more examples of men who understand that other human beings have feelings and cannot be confined to a relationship with just them.
Read the signs of jealousy and possessiveness to understand how to deal with a difficult situation. Doing so can help before things get too out of hand.
1. When he loves you, he starts feeling jealous
When men start to develop feelings for a woman it can produce feelings of jealousy.
Jealousy is often found in relationships where things are not quite as they seem and by being in love with one person, emotions can be difficult to manage.
It can be tough for men to accept that their partner might have strong feelings for someone else and how they feel about it. Sometimes it may seem like jealousy, but at its core is love.
The main cause of jealousy here is fear of losing the person they love to someone else and the owner’s instinct.
Men are usually protective of the women they love or have feelings for.
Even if you are not committed to a man, he could get jealous over all the states that you get when you walk into the room.
2. He has self-doubts and a lack of confidence
The person who experienced the anxiety and fear that created self-doubt starts to blame themselves a lot.
They begin to act like they are more manly than they really are and start insulating themselves from any possibility of being hurt.
When a man starts to feel a bit insecure in his relationship, he’ll often start accusing his partner of all sorts of things.
He wants her to cater to him but doesn’t want an exclusive relationship.
He is often possessive, which might not always be a pat on the back for the relationship.
This is because it can be difficult to build trust in someone when you don’t feel like they’re paying attention.
Jealous men will often accuse women of acting a certain way in an attempt to garner more attention from other men. When in reality, that behavior likely stems from the man’s own self-doubt.
3. He is lacking in self-esteem
Guys get jealous when you’re not in a relationship with them & it’s because they can’t help but feel threatened by your attractiveness.
They also tend to act possessive of the person you have feelings for because they fear that person might steal or take away their best friend.
If a person doesn’t truly believe in themselves, it can be difficult to understand why somebody else would.
A lot of men struggle with low self-esteem and don’t think they deserve the love their partners are giving them.
Eventually, this causes a scene in the mind of the jealous man, who starts to believe that his woman is plotting to leave him because she views him as not being good enough for her love.
If she says anything or does anything from the man’s perspective, it is seen as an act of betrayal by him. It can reinforce the belief that she wants to leave for someone better than him.
4. He is not sure about his decisions
When our self-esteem is high, jealousy prevents it from getting a hold of us. It comes from insecurity, often surfacing when we’re not accepted by other people.
It’s normal for people to crave constant validation from their partners, but if someone is always looking to be reassured of her partner’s love and support, then it might be time for a breakup.
In some cases, the man might be having trust issues or he might be feeling threatened by his partner.
He makes sure to tell himself that the woman he loves will eventually leave him. This thought process causes fights with her and things between them to fall apart as a result.
Women often feel like they never get validation during this time and it can be very stressful for them.
If she is continuously put into a position where she feels like you’re trying to own her, then it’s going to drive her away.
He should focus on ways that he can keep himself in check and how he can manage jealousy without risking the relationship.
5. Seeing her becoming successful, irritates him
This is an example of one of the most common signs of a man feeling threatened by a woman.
In the tale that everyone in the world has heard before, the successful woman is often at risk of losing things like love, relationships, and even her career.
Men can be harder to deal with when they feel threatened by women’s success.
Women often get accused of being with their bosses for ethical juice, which is ludicrous and unfair.
This is just the patriarchy telling women that they need to achieve success at work because there’s no true success without sex.
It’s not just the man in that woman’s life that’s suspicious, but also her jealous male and female colleagues.
Working long hours, traveling with the boss, & working late at night often show how successful a career can be.
A huge promotion and a higher designation have made the man think his woman is being with her boss.
Possessiveness is a natural emotion, but it could have negative effects if it goes out of control. It can be difficult to deal with or cope with a man’s jealousy behavior.
One way to feel better is to have an honest conversation in which you clearly outline how jealousy is affecting you.
If you’re feeling negatively impacted by your career, talking about it openly can help others.
Signs your partner is possessive in relationship
There are a variety of signs that point to whether or not you’re in a possessive relationship.
The possessive people are often very good at making their behavior seem loving or caring, so this means it might not be easy for you to recognize the red flags.
Manipulation is a key part of a possessive relationship, so being able to spot that even when it is clever, it’s important to know you’re in one.
One of the difficult things about recognizing toxic relationship habits is that sometimes we don’t see them for what they are until it’s too late.
Signs of possessiveness can make you feel like someone is stifling or controlling you, so it’s important to keep an eye out for the warning signs.
If you notice any or all of these behaviors, it is time to take steps to limit their impact on your relationship.
1. They get jealous seeing you with someone else
It is more than just a little jealousy if you see your partner getting hit on by an attractive stranger.
It’s natural to feel protective and trust their judgment, but it’s important to remember that it’s not always bad!
It is another thing to have a partner who becomes increasingly suspicious and jealous over time, with no actual proof.
Your partner might feel a little jealous if you only have conversations with others who come over to visit.
They might even accuse you of being interested in that person for the hint of flirtation they just felt. They would be envious of you because your work always gets more attention than them.
Basically, they get jealous of anything that takes your attention away from them.
They will be upset if significant others spend time with friends of the opposite sex and are interested in another person romantically.
If your partner has a hard time believing you’re telling the truth, one way to resolve the situation is by following up with evidence of what you say.
There are a number of differences between the reactions men & women have when their partner has cheated on them.
Men tend to be more upset about physical cheating and women tend to be unhappy because of emotional issues.
2. They are giving you excessive attention to influence or manipulate you
When it comes to love, you definitely want the other person to know from the start how much you care about them.
Sending them things like flowers, gifts, and being extra romantic might seem like a good idea in theory but it can backfire if done too quickly.
It might be better to take things slowly and make sure they feel comfortable.
One way to preserve your personal boundaries is to take your time during the beginning of a relationship.
Be careful how much affection someone showers upon you and how fast you develop feelings for them.
Once their behavior starts to become more creepy or dangerous, it’s probably best to remove yourself from the situation.
3. They appear out of nowhere without any reason
It can be nice to receive a gift after a bad day. But if they show up out of the blue without any reason besides missing you, it can be alarming.
They might try to mask this with politeness, ensuring that this is seen as sweetness or love, but in reality, it is not what it seems.
For instance, you have a complicated personal life and are in a long-distance relationship with someone. Every time, your boyfriend would call you as he wanted to meet “your bestie.”
It seemed like he was just being nice and wanting to get to know her in person, but this is something he did on purpose.
4. They feel bad about doing good in your career
The person went beyond your job, talking negatively about your career in general. They’re pointing out all the problems they have and don’t understand what you do for a living.
Giving examples is a good way of putting somebody else’s perspective into focus.
Sometimes people around you may find it hard to support your positive or happy moments, but that is because they have nothing to do with them.
5. They don’t want to give you personal space
Everyone needs their privacy in a relationship. But in one that’s very possessive, that is not the case.
If you need a day to just relax, they will want you to spend all your free time with them and say things like you always go out with your friends or we haven’t had a night together all week.
That’s why it’s important for this to be mutually beneficial.
6. They must be aware of your routine
When your partner is possessive, they’ll want to know where you are, where you’re going, and who you’ll be with if you go out without them.
They may not phrase their questions as accusations, but if they trust their spouse, they don’t need to know where they are at all times.
They may even demand that you send them your whereabouts by phone.
If you try to establish limits and privacy, they will accuse you of lying in order to guilt you into providing such information.
You need to handle this situation carefully and recognize the sign of controlling you as well.
7. They don’t want you to succeed or flourish
In a healthy relationship, you should give & take support, motivate each other to do better & your partner becomes more well-rounded.
Some relationships become somewhat toxic if your partner isn’t willing to share and grow with you. There’s no need to put up with that behavior, which does more harm than good.
8. They send a lot of text messages all day
You can find a lot of people who are too connected constantly texting throughout the day. It’s not okay when you’re not trying and there is an obsession with it.
There is always room to improve and reach new levels during this process, so they aren’t really thriving after all!
They need to know they have your attention. The best thing is to be transparent and upfront with people, as they often want honest answers, especially when they’re asking about you.
9. They are checking you on social media
If a person who is overly possessive sees you on social media, they likely post quite a few images of you.
They want the world to see that you are theirs and know almost everything about your life online.
If someone complimented your selfie and you liked the comment, they will ask you why you did that.
When there are people accusing you of causing others to pay attention, it’s important to remember that sometimes others can be acting irrationally.
10. They are trying to limit your freedom
This has a lot of different meanings but is often used in relationships.
It suggests that your partner feels very possessive of you and will change the date they originally planned to go out with their friends.
They might even ask who you’re texting and unfollowing people on social media for you.
It can be a dangerous situation for some people because there’s no way of knowing how their goal will be interpreted by your dependence on their work.
11. They blame you for their failure
Keeping information about a new potential love interest from your spouse is something you should avoid. If you don’t tell them, they will be suspicious and can become accusatory.
They might take it too far and make you feel sorry for not doing what they want. And they might also go as far as to manipulate you into feeling guilty when you have done nothing wrong.
When it comes to your spouse, they take things too far and make you feel guilty when you have done nothing wrong.
12. Their emotions are not stable for you
This is another reason why people in relationships feel like they need to control their partner. They really lash out when upset, and it’s possible that they’re not in control of their emotions.
If you’re having a nice night, but answer the phone, they can turn into an angry person or they can be annoyed. You might be forced to beg them to forgive you.
This can happen over and over again, and it’s exhausting. It’s also not fair to have a relationship with people that don’t have the same values as you do.
It might seem like they’re being unreasonable when they ask for things from you, but if your partner doesn’t agree with your values, then the relationship won’t work.
13. They are depending on you completely
Some people who are possessive tend to have small or empty social circles because they’re too focused on you.
Their needs and desires might affect everything you do while they’re with you, so they expect the same in return.
It can be difficult to manage relationships with people who only see you as a resource or an extension of themselves.
Someone may be possessive if they try to control what you do, what you wear, who you talk to, and where you go.
They are constantly bothering or asking too many questions about other people they perceive as a threat.
They don’t respect boundaries and push their wants on people without considering their needs.
If your partner has a small social group of friends, they might be more dependent on you and feel like they need to be around you a lot.
This can make them possessive, and it can put pressure on you too. If your partner has a large social group of friends, they might feel less dependent on you and not need to be around you as much.
This can make them more independent, and it could lessen the pressure you experience.
14. They become protective
Every time you try to communicate openly with your possessive boyfriend or girlfriend, they react immediately and become defensive.
They aren’t apologetic and usually offer numerous excuses to justify their behaviors and actions.
They don’t think they’re wrong so this is how the relationship is usually handled. It becomes apparent that you’re never going to get the relationship you want.
Your partner is not willing to communicate openly and honestly with you.
If this is your situation, it may be time to let someone else take over the reins of your relationship.
15. They want you to always say ‘yes’
If you disagree with anything they say or ask, they will become mad and start to emotionally manipulate you by screaming or demanding more money.
They’re either going to try to make you change your mind out of fear or guilt or they’re going to start with a threat of violence.
If it is right or wrong, they just want you to say yes and agree upon all their decisions.
16. They get irritated when you do not give them time
Your partner will never accept the fact that you may be busy in your personal and professional life.
Even if what you are doing is important to you and you have to put it on hold, they always need to be able to tell they can depend on you in case of emergencies.
They may constantly be demanding more work and becoming angry when you ask for space or try to protect your rights. A partner who is emotionally and physically abusive.
They will drag you down with them, come over when you’re at work, or plan to meet up with friends without your knowledge or consent.
Your significant other has addiction problems and they may not even be aware of it themselves.
17. They are prone to mood swings
Most abusive relationships are marked by negative emotions like jealousy, insecurity, and anger.
Because of this, it’s important to learn how to manage these feelings so they don’t cause more harm than good.
If your partner constantly cycles through moods it might be cause for concern. It can be difficult to find a balance with someone like this.
18. They don’t want to lose you anyhow
Someone who fears being abandoned by their partner is possessive and will often have underlying insecurity.
These types of patterns can be hard to break and lead to a lot of unnecessary guilt trips between partners.
A lot of anxiety can also be caused by these situations due to the fact they can’t actually cope with abandonment.
This leads to an inability to grow the relationship and even to physical assault.
19. They are controlling what you should wear
Your partner will try their best to tell you what you should wear, but they won’t be as brutally honest as they could be.
They can make you feel bad about your choices, and sometimes they might even stop you from doing things that are important to you.
Despite the criticism, being told how terrible someone is still worse than playing the role of the passive bystander in a way that contributes to their oppression or discrimination.
How to be not possessive in a relationship
Being possessive over your partner can only lead to natural issues in the relationship.
Make sure you’re cool while working on this type of situation & follow these ways that help to stop being possessive and to keep things in perspective.
1. Let go of the past
It’s important to know where a social partner has been before entering into a new relationship.
This is not to say that it wasn’t an aspect of their past that should have been taken into consideration, but in this case, that person has changed and wants something different.
In order for you both to grow together and build on whatever good may already exist, it’s best you not.
Now that you have moved on and found a new partner, it’s time to release the hurt from your past relationship.
It’s inevitable that all couples have their ups and downs but now it is time to focus on the good times!
When you control your partner, there are fewer opportunities for things to go wrong.
If this is you, remind yourself that this relationship deserves a fresh start. Remember that this is a happy chance! Don’t ruin it by guessing the worst before it happens.
And don’t label your partner with assumptions.
2. Don’t be arrogant and rude
If you need reassurance that your partner loves you and is honest, that could cause him or her to try harder.
Don’t make your lover feel like the only option for this would be the end of your relationship.
Be open and honest with your partner. Trust that they love you because they’re choosing to be in a relationship with you.
Don’t fuss over your partner, questioning them incessantly when they come home.
This will only make them feel bad about themselves and question their own worth, which is not worth the effort.
However, when your partner makes you feel like they have done something wrong even when they haven’t, they might wonder what it’s worth to be good.
That may cause them to question their own morality and value system.
3. Take charge of your own life
This goes hand-in-hand with not being overbearing. They can learn a lot more about what you are like and the more interesting person you’ll be for them. Therefore, you should live your own life.
It’s important to spend time with your partner, of course, but it also feels good to do different things when you’re apart and have a lot of fun. This is what you’ll need to build a healthy relationship.
If your partner is spending time with you, it can have benefits if you’re in a healthy, loving relationship. It doesn’t mean that you do not love each other.
It’s really important to give each other the freedom to do their own thing- even if they often make you resent them.
It is important for couples to spend quality time together, as well as to value each other.
They should be able to give one another the time and space they need so that they can share the happiness and ease of their relationship with one another.
4. Do not be envious of your partner
Jealousy is a common emotion that can be destructive to a relationship. The fear of losing someone can produce negative feelings and lead to destructive behavior.
Fortunately, there are ways that you can turn this negative feeling into a positive one by focusing on your relationship.
You shouldn’t be jealous of anyone when your partner is with them. Try to realize that they’re lucky to be with someone as great as you and not worry about it too much.
5. Get to know each other’s friends
You don’t have to worry if you share a relationship with your partner as long as you keep an eye on their social media.
If you’re familiar with what they’re doing, there’s no reason to worry about losing your significant other.
Peering into your partner’s friendships allows you to be more confident in your relationship and take a step back from being so jealous over their time.
By getting to know the people your partner surrounds themselves with, you’ll feel less anxious. It can be difficult to integrate into your partner’s social circles when you’re new in a relationship.
It’s important that you take steps to feel accepted & secure in your relationship together.
It’s okay to ask your partner if they want to spend time with their friends, but they should be allowed to spend time on their own too.
It’s worth the effort to get to know the new people in your life. You’ll see your relationship grow stronger and it’ll be a lot of fun!
6. Don’t try to convince your partner to change
Why did you get into a relationship in the first place? Maybe you were curious, or maybe you loved them but realized there was so much more to that person than what you saw initially.
Instead of forcing them to be something they’re not, try encouraging your partner to be their best self.
Simply by showing your support for them, you’ll make an impact. Therefore, you should always support your partner.
It’s natural to change as you get older and start to raise kids, but in reality, everything takes a lot of time and effort. Don’t exhaust yourself!
7. Look for the source of the issue
It can be tough to know what’s causing you to feel so possessive in your relationship.
If it’s a problem that happened in childhood or even during the previous relationship, it can set off warning bells and cause you to take a step back.
It will help you come to terms with your issue and conquer it, which in turn will make you feel better and help future romantic relationships.
8. Have faith in yourself and your relationship
Many people struggle with a sense of self-worth or lack, especially when they see a coworker behaving in an undesirable way that they perceive as reflecting on them.
You might worry that your partner flirts when he or she goes out with friends because you flirt when you go out with friends.
If you trust yourself to only flirt and not go beyond that, your partner should be able to trust you too—it’s only natural!
9. Be honest about your problems
You might want to take some time to get your feelings out. If they are uncomfortable, they might not want to hear it from you. That’s okay!
It’ll be more effective if you tell them how you feel and what is going on when things happen that make it hard for you to trust them.
Make sure you’re presenting things as an open dialog, not as a fight.
If you’re open and honest about things that bother you, your partner is more likely to hear you out and work on resolving the issue with you.
If you’re both on the same page, it can help promote better communication in your relationship. Once everything is out in the open, you can start working through it together!
10. Pay attention to your emotions
If you feel and act worried or possessive about something, it can show in a variety of ways.
Projecting your feelings outwards can increase the likelihood of their occurrence, which is something that has been observed.
Taking some time to reflect on what you went through might help you and your partner reconnect.
By identifying and working on the root causes of your difficult emotions, you will see things improve in your relationship.
11. Make an effort to be more affectionate and loving
Is your relationship in the honeymoon phase or in the plateau? If it’s been a few months or a year since you first fell in love, you might be feeling that the feelings between you are changing.
Even though those feelings have cooled off, you should always stay close to your partner and express physical affection.
Overcompensating behavior is a coping mechanism that can occur when a person’s self-esteem takes a hit.
In an effort to maintain their sense of worth, they may become overly intrusive and aggressive.
For instance, if you’re worried about losing your partner by working too much or not spending enough time with them, you may become clingy or overly possessive to keep your relationship intact.
As you get older and more selective about your interests, you’re more likely to become possessive and isolated from new people.
Go ahead and introduce some affection back into your relationship.
Simple gestures like a hug, a kiss, or even a compliment could go a long way to making things better again between the two of you.
As time goes on and your relationship becomes more comfortable, it can help to be affectionate with your partner and make them feel secure.
Spending time with your partner is all about quality — not quantity. Just being overly possessive of their time & attention will push them away.
12. Be open about your insecurities
Make it a rule to share insecurities with your partner. It might help you both grow as individuals and stop feelings of jealousy from hurting your relationship and you both.
If they don’t know how you feel, they might not be able to help.
Communicating your feelings is the first step to finding a resolution, so many people have found it helpful just to say what they need rather than waiting for someone else to figure out what you want.
You might be close with your partner, but they can’t read each other’s minds.
Let them know when you’re worried about them going somewhere without you so that they don’t accidentally forget about you!
It’s important that you find a compromise that you both agree to (with your spouse/partner).
By opening up about your fears, you can make them more rational and ready to work with. It’s a chance to trust your partner & strengthen your bond together for the future.
13. Take responsibility for your actions
Becoming aware of the impact you have on your partner is important for many reasons, including the fact that it’s necessary for a healthy and happy relationship.
This awareness can help create more positive future interactions by highlighting what to work on in the future.
It’s about recognizing that something is wrong in your relationship and it may be hurting your partner. Until you admit you have a problem, it will continue to hurt.
This is why you should work towards being better for the long-term benefit of yourself, your partner & family.
You should always try to understand your partner’s needs and emotions.
Acknowledging that you are having a negative impact or that your behavior is wrong shows them respect and gives them the understanding they need.
You can also apply this pattern of behavior to future situations with the same partner in order not to repeat it.
Let your partner know, apologize for any harm you have caused, and keep working on keeping the relationship strong.
Being possessive in a relationship is good or bad?
Loving somebody is not a crime or something shameful. Everybody should feel worthy and good about themselves, because they’re valued and loved by the person they “love.”
In relationships, losing your possessiveness can mean that a relationship becomes distant and ceases to exist.
However, “excess of anything is bad.” This means that all relationships have a limit to how much possessiveness is acceptable. “Is my over-possessive nature killing my relationship?” Ask yourself!
It’s important to differentiate love from possession. Whilst it can be difficult, having too much possessiveness can actually break a relationship.
Happiness is found in love. Love is built on trust, willingness to share, comfort, and respect for each other’s space.
Jealousy can make the world a dark and scary place. Most couples will experience conflict at some point, but sometimes it causes tension which can be pushed too far.
There is also selfishness and distrust that hampers the freedom of the other party in a relationship.
Sometimes fear, mistrust & insecurity can be so deep that one person wants to hold on to the other for themselves only.
Possessiveness makes people feel incomplete. They can’t think of losing the relationship & end up being afraid they’ll lose something really important to them. So they cling to everything.
Love is a powerful force so it’s important to recognize the benefits of connecting with others.
When you love yourself, you will feel complete in a way that can be satisfying and make you want to express love to another person.
The feeling of self-love is free of any external pressure or a force, rather it’s all about what makes you feel authentic. You don’t want to control the other person. This is the beauty of feeling free.
You’re madly in love with someone for their personality and not how often you touch each other. Often, people have unrealistic expectations of what their partners should be doing.
Possessiveness Psychology – What Does It Say?
Self-abandonment is a cause of insecurity that leads to possessiveness. One major cause of self-abandonment is unrealistic expectations.
Without healthy, realistic expectations in life, the insecure person will not be able to build their confidence and overcome self-doubt.
Your partner may try to make you feel safe, but no matter how much they restrict their contact with who threatens you, it doesn’t change the fact that they’re still someone else’s target.
Although it can be difficult, you’ll still feel possessive and insecure if you’re judging yourself and ignoring your feelings.
With partners involved, the responsibility ends up solely resting on one party and that’s not fair for either of you.
If you’re with a partner who is needy and possessive, sometimes you can feel like it’s not up to you anymore.
If this is happening a lot with your partner, maybe it’s time to take some unbreakable space.
If you’re willing to share your partner and be vulnerable, you allow them the opportunity to become more open. But if they are clingy and desperate, they need professional help.
For example, some people may feel like they are not desirable when they look in the mirror. That negative self-concept can lead to acting out insecure behaviors with partners.
It might be tempting to act hurt and wounded by any comments or actions that might seem like disregarding or rejecting. But ultimately, that could lead to animosity and resentment.
It might be better for everyone if you reframe it as normal behavior because of some things we may need to change in our own reactions.
Scolding a partner can be really painful and take a lot of effort.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Maintaining healthy relationships is one of the most important things you can do. Remember to be open and honest with your partner from the start, so they will understand how you feel.
By staying independent, appreciating yourself, and living authentic lives, you can be naturally happy with yourself. It’s crucial to stay true to your own values when dating any person.
It could lead to a long-term relationship or something short-term but either way, you will know that you were acting with integrity throughout the entire experience.
A writer by day and a reader by night, Hazra is a well-skilled freelance writer. She is tender, compassionate, authoritative and has a fun personality shine at the same time. Her valuable quality of understanding things helps her tackle even the critical situations making it the easiest of all time. She can dive deep into one's heart through her words bringing them close to oneself. She is a firm believer and achiever who loves to explore new things. Besides, she is a compulsive information seeker who is fond of reading, writing and drinking too much coffee with a laptop. When not writing, Hazra enjoys exploring the outdoors.