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How to Not Be Jealous – 50+ Ways to Control and Overcome Envy

How to Not Be Jealous – 50+ Ways to Control and Overcome Envy

Updated on Nov 09, 2022 | Published on Feb 01, 2022

Reviewed by Katina Tarver, MA (Mental Health and Wellness Counseling) , Life & Relationship Coach

How to Not Be Jealous - 50+ Ways to Control and Overcome Envy

How to not be jealous? How can I stop being jealous?

Well, jealousy is a poison whose toxicity affects the one who feels it. 

At the same time, it has a negative impact on the person who is the “green-eyed monster” target.

Jealousy in relationships is romanticized by some people. They state that it is a means for them to show how much they care about or love their partner.

On the other hand, jealousy promotes uncertainty. It is a sure way to start the process of ending a relationship. Jealousy may drive some people to act rashly in extreme cases with disastrous results.

You may have arrived at this page because you’re looking for ways to quit being jealous, either for yourself or for someone you care about.

So in this post, you will discover more than 50+ ways to control or overcome jealousy.

How to Not Be Jealous - 50+ Ways to Control and Overcome Envy
How to Not Be Jealous – 50+ Ways to Control and Overcome Envy

How To Not Be Jealous in a Relationship – 50+ Ways

Being in love is being at peace, enjoying the presence of the person you care about and hoping for a bright future. 

Indeed, jealousy that green-eyed monster that has an uncanny knack of creeping up on the best and most romantic of relationships causes stress in even the best and most romantic of relationships! 

So, what is the best method to feel safe in love? Understanding how to stop being jealous and controlling in your relationship

That may be easier said than done.

All emotions have a purpose and jealousy is only an emotion with no positive or bad value judgment connected to it. What matters is how this emotion is understood and acted upon.

1. Accept that you become jealous of your partner

If you refuse to acknowledge an issue, you will never be able to solve it. Be honest rather than pretending you aren’t jealous or your jealousy isn’t a problem. 

How do your insecurities make you feel and how are they affecting your relationship?

It may be difficult to admit the troubles your envy is producing but take heart in knowing that you’re taking the first step toward a healthy relationship.

2. Find out why you are getting jealous

Instead of viewing your jealousy as a problem, consider it a solution. Jealousy (or any other relationship issue) is a window through which we can see the truth. 

Humans have a strong sense of emotion which is the source of both our greatest joys and our deepest sorrows. We developed these emotions for a reason: they are there to inform us.

Instead of simply suppressing jealousy, try to understand it first. What issue is jealousy seeking to solve?

Working backward from there will assist you in determining how to quit being jealous. By getting to the root of the problem, you may address it and achieve long-term relief.

3. Discover the six human needs to have a satisfying relationship

Your jealousy is most likely telling you something about your Six Human Needs. These are the requirements that must be completed in order to have a satisfying relationship. 

They are at the heart of every decision we make – and jealousy is a decision.

It is not the result of your partner’s actions or anything done to you in the past. It’s the outcome of your different values and thinking.

 You can learn to control it but you must first address the cause of the problem: your own thoughts, feelings, and needs.

4. Work on your insecurities

The first step in learning how to stop being a jealous boyfriend or girlfriend is to examine yourself. What insecurities are driving your jealousy? 

Are you self-conscious because you strive for perfection? Do you make comparisons with others?

You’re not composing this list to put yourself down. But you’re owning your part in the relationship.

5. Build self-confidence

Make a note of the insecurities that are causing your jealousy and then write down an antidote for each one. 

Make a list of all the qualities your partner admires in you if you’re living in the shadow of your partner’s ex. 

Unfollow celebrities on Instagram for a week if you are constantly comparing yourself to them.

Giving yourself space from thoughts of inferiority can allow you to develop the self-confidence needed to overcome jealousy.

6. Look for the reason or issue of your insecurities

Learning how to not be jealous in a relationship is often a matter of healing old scars. 

If you’re dealing with jealousy as a result of an unsolved issue, such as a childhood trauma or addiction, get the help you need to overcome it.

With the correct support, you can turn your difficulties into sources of power.

7. Be honest to your partner

If you’re dealing with jealousy, your spouse has most likely noticed. Your partner is almost certainly contributing to the problem as well. 

By using good communication, you are recognising your contribution while also keeping your partner accountable – and providing them the opportunity to support you as you work toward a solution.

8. Have understanding for your partner if they are suffering 

Jealousy often covers ego and we transfer our anxieties and insecurities onto others. Compassion is like a well as an antidote to guilt and jealousy. 

You can’t provide water to others if your well is dry. Take a step back and practise self-compassion when you discover yourself self-critiquing or catastrophizing. 

Rather than attacking the other person with questions, develop a curious mindset to get to know them as they are.

You’ll learn how to quit being envious and insecure as you strive to figure out what’s causing your insecurities.

9. Focus on your strengths

Ruminating on your imperfections will only serve to amplify the jealousy whispering in your ear. 

Introduce another voice: your inner cheerleader to quiet the voice of envy and discover how to quit being envious. 

Consider a period when you were proud of yourself and allow yourself to revisit those sensations. What skills did you bring to the table and how did they help you succeed? 

Make a list of your abilities and skills. Proactively focusing on your positive attributes boosts your self-esteem that allows you to engage others without feeling insecure.

10. Find similarities between you and your partner

Build camaraderie with the person if you’re wondering how to avoid being jealous and controlling around them. 

Look for characteristics that you share with that individual and remember that the other person isn’t perfect either. 

Because envy and insecurity are universal, your “nemesis” is bound to have flaws whether they’re evident or not.

Finding common ground personifies the other person that allows you to relate to them on an equal level.

11. Accept that loving someone involves the danger of being hurt

When you begin to fall in love, you are aware that you will face rejection at some point.

In other circumstances, love is lost as a result of death or because one person chooses to move on without the other.

Many people are unaware of their own basic guilt because it comes easy to them to be critical of themselves. 

However, guilt from your past might have a significant impact on your level of jealousy and insecurity in the present.

When you’re in love, real hurt from rejection or betrayal might revive previous feelings that there’s something clearly wrong with you.

Rejections are painful but the long-term damage is created by how your critical inner voice impacts you after the experience has passed. 

When you listen to self-criticism that feeds your insecurities, you run the risk of becoming less like yourself and more like the person your inner voice claims you are.

12. Develop self-awareness so you can see where you’re going.

Overcoming jealousy begins with self-awareness because only with self-awareness can you see that the stories in your thoughts are deceiving. 

You are inclined to believe that your circumstances are fixed and permanent if you lack self-awareness.

When you observe someone doing better than you, instead of focusing on how you can improve, your mind becomes obsessed with the present moment.

This is why comparisons are misleading: there will always be people who are better (or worse) than you, and when you compare yourself to them, you think the circumstances remain constant. 

You focus on what the other person has rather than what you have or can alter.

However, once you have the necessary wisdom, you can directly see and understand the positivity that surrounds you and the good fortune of others.

13. Appreciate yourself for who are you

Of course, it is important to appreciate others, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. When we compare ourselves to those around us, we might often feel uneasy and depressed.

For example, you may be envious of a person who is more athletic than you or who is more successful in their work than you. 

In these situations, you must remind yourself of your abilities in other areas that others may lack. Perhaps you have a strong familial link or are well-known for your memory.

You should be proud of your abilities. Appreciating yourself will enable you to love others more deeply.

Heal your wound and let go of the past.

You may have experienced a traumatic relationship prior to the current one which has resulted in your natural need to be jealous. 

In this scenario, remind yourself that you don’t have room in your life for this emotion and that you’re going to let it go. “Burn the boats,” as it were.

Take a few deep breaths and see it exiting your head. Do this as many times as it takes to let it go.

14. Learn how to free yourself from anger

Do you hold regrets against those who have wronged you in the past? Do you allow yourself to be hurt by events that occurred years ago? Or do you find it difficult to let go of your own mistakes?

These closely held feelings of rage and resentment are hindering your progress. They don’t help you and certainly don’t change the past.

For some, holding on to their anger becomes such an important part of their identity that it serves as a scapegoat for everything that goes wrong and all of their wasted opportunities in life. 

However, most people vastly underestimate their own ability to manage themselves. You have the ability to decide what to do with them once you have learned to recognize your feelings.

15. Learn to be happy alone

If everything else fails—if the ball has already stopped rolling and you’re alone as a result of your jealousy—learning how to be happy alone can help you create a better relationship with yourself.

A good connection with yourself is being able to value yourself as a person and recognise your own talents and limitations.

It indicates that you consider yourself on a daily basis by exercising self-care, self-respect, and self-love.

You must give your unconditional love to yourself just like you do to your family. Having a positive relationship with yourself will assist you in improving your relationships with others.

16. Don’t let social media become the central focus of your relationship 

Too much time spent on social media might lead to jealousy and distance from your real-life relationships. 

Instead of portraying your relationship on social media through posts and photographs, concentrate on improving your bond with your partner. 

Avoid engaging with them too frequently on social media since this can lead to a split between the two of you in the long term.

For example, if you come across an item that you think your spouse would love, send it to them through email or show it to them in person rather than publishing it on their Facebook page.

17. Do not snoop on your partner in order to satisfy your jealousy 

Nothing you discover will benefit you if you are insecure enough about your relationship to snoop on them. 

Even if you discover information that shows your partner’s lack of credibility, you will be breaking their trust by violating their privacy. Fight the need to check on your mate by doing things like:

  • Reading their text messages or emails
  • examining their internet browser history
  • Examining their belongings

18. Make compromises that will make both of you feel valued 

Making demands on your partner without considering their feelings will eventually lead to conflict in your relationship. 

By offering answers to challenges that benefit both of you, you can help to build a sense of trust and cooperation.

This shows that you are concerned about their well-being while keeping your own boundaries.

For example, if you are irritated because your partner went to a sporting event with a coworker instead of you, suggest that the two of you go to a concert the following week to make things right.

19. Active listening can help you show empathy and understanding to your partner 

Active listening entails being empathetic and receptive when your partner speaks and letting them know you are aware that you are hearing them. 

Without interrupting, pay close attention to what they say. Check in with the person during pauses or after they have finished speaking to confirm that you have understood them correctly.

Show that you’re paying attention by stating something like, “It seems like you’ve been feeling discouraged and stressed out about things at work.”

20. To communicate clearly with your partner, use “I” statements 

“I” statements are designed to assist people express how they feel about someone else’s behavior without blaming them. 

An “I” statement should briefly describe the issue, explain your feelings about it, and state how it affects you.

To facilitate an open discourse, use these statements as much as possible when interacting with your partner.

For example, you could remark, “When you don’t answer my phone calls, I get worried and stressed.”

You may avoid negativity and conflict while still getting your message across by focusing on your own feelings rather than what they did to upset you.

21. Tell your partner what you require from your relationship 

We can’t expect a love partner to predict all of our wants and needs, therefore it’s crucial to be open and honest about them. 

Outline your expectations and be specific about your boundaries. A lack of understanding of your feelings may cause your partner to unintentionally disappoint you and leave you feeling dissatisfied. 

For example, tell your partner if you are uncomfortable with them spending time with an ex-girlfriend.

Whether they agree or not, it is best to be transparent about your emotions so they can understand your reactions.

If infidelity is a deal-breaker in your relationship then tell your partner.

22. Tell your partner the truth about your jealousy. 

Jealousy is more likely to get out of control if it is kept hidden. When you’re feeling envious or insecure, tell your partner.

Inform them that you are telling them about your jealousy in order to gain control of it in an honest and healthy manner. 

Use this method when you are afraid that your jealousy will get the best of you and wish to avoid it.

For example, you could say, “I’m feeling a little insecure about you spending time with your work colleagues without inviting me to join you but I’m trying to control my jealousy so it doesn’t ruin our relationship.”

23. Examine your long-held beliefs about relationships 

Some of your beliefs about how romantic relationships should be can lead to unreasonable expectations. 

Consider your relationship beliefs and concentrate on finding those that may be troublesome.

Consider where those assumptions originated and try to come up with more realistic concepts about being in a relationship:

For example, assuming that your partner should be attracted to you and no one else may lead to emotions of jealousy or inadequacy.

Unrealistic romantic ideals can emerge from a variety of sources, including movies, television, and fairy tales.

24. Work on your insecurities

When you figure out what your insecurities or challenges are, you can often turn them into strengths which prevents feelings of envy.

Examining yourself for weaknesses is a difficult exercise that must be completed.

Remind yourself that you are more than your fears.

Maintain a positive attitude while detecting areas of insecurity. Remind yourself of the aspects of yourself in which you are confident.

Remember that with time and work, you can transform any insecurity into a strength.

For example, if you are lonely and want to make more friends but you are not extroverted then this is a good place to start. 

Practice being outgoing and nice to strangers and you will gradually overcome your shyness into friendliness and you’ll have made new friends.

25. Build your self-esteem

Self-esteem refers to how you view yourself as a person. There are numerous methods for improving your self-esteem but not limited to:

Recognizing your own abilities. Are you an excellent student? Do you have a talent for sports?

Are you a good listener or a reliable confidante for your friends? Make a list of your best qualities and reread it whenever you are doubting yourself.

Actively participating in activities that you excel at can help you remember your strengths and boost your self-esteem.

To boost your confidence, strike up a discussion with someone fresh.

Keeping a record of every compliment you received during the course of a week. When you’re feeling insecure, go over these compliments.

Working on your problems. Perhaps you are terrible at bowling and your best friend is a good bowler. You can improve your bowling through practice.

26. Find happiness within yourself 

If you are unhappy with yourself, it is easier to feel jealous of those around you. Feelings of inadequacy increase your chances of experiencing jealousy.

You can bring happiness into your life by performing the following:

Concentrating on one’s own internal resources. When you place your focus on external elements like popularity or earning potential that those things can shift and your self-esteem can crumble. 

When you concentrate on internal causes, your self-esteem will be a lot more stable and you will be happier with yourself.

Putting everyday intentions into action. Remind yourself that you are capable of giving and receiving love, attention and respect, and that you deserve these things. 

Put them somewhere visible, like your mirror or computer monitor. Consider saying them out loud each day. Visual prompts can be very helpful for affirmations.

27. Reclaim control of your emotions 

Allowing your emotions to control you will result in a reactive state of emoting. Instead, you should recognise that every emotion you experience is a decision. 

You have decided to feel what you are experiencing and you have control over your emotions.

When you start to feel jealous or furious, remind yourself that you are reacting and make the decision to stop feeling that way.

Ask yourself if you want to feel this way and if you want to feel this way.

Take several deep breaths and focus on the emotion you want to feel instead if you don’t want to feel this way.

Make the decision to feel the way you want to feel.

For example, if you want to be joyful, concentrate on being happy, identify what makes you happy, and keep a positive mental attitude.

28. Distancing yourself from the situation that triggered your emotions allows you to analyze them 

Consider whether what you’re jealous of will be relevant a year from now. You are frequently jealous of something fleeting and insignificant. 

After you’ve studied your feelings outside of the circumstance, you may find that you’re jealous for irrational or illogical reasons.

If this is the case, remind yourself that you are being irrational and put a stop to your jealousy.

For example, a sensible person in control of their emotions would not be jealous of their best friend when a third party compliments their best friend’s shoes.

If you find yourself being jealous of your best friend right now, remember that your friend did not request the compliment.

Your best friend’s shoes are amazing and have some great shoes on even if they haven’t yet been recognised. 

There’s no reason to be envious for such a little reason.

29. Shift your focus to the goodness in your life 

One of the main reasons we envy other people’s lives is that we have begun to take our blessings for granted. Count them once more. You have a special talent. 

You are well taken care of. You are exceptional. Your life is far too significant to be lived in the same way as everyone else’s.

There are numerous reasons to be thankful for the life you have been given. Remind yourself once more.

30. Remind yourself that no one has everything 

Stop comparing your life to the lives of others. It is always a loser’s game. People will always appear to have it better than you. 

But keep in mind that we always compare our worst assumptions about ourselves to our finest assumptions about others. 

Remember no one has it all. Everyone you encounter has issues, trials and shortcomings just like you.

This is what distinguishes us as humans. Nobody is immune. Nobody has everything. Noone!

31. Avoid persons who have a habit of valuing the wrong things 

You will develop a need for the latest styles if you spend all of your time with people who compare the current fashions. 

If you spend all of your time with people who brag about their wages and expensive automobiles or lavish vacations, you will inevitably fall into the trap of comparing your assets to theirs. 

But there are far more vital matters to attend to. Remove yourself from the discussion (and the relationship if necessary).

32. Be generous and kind to yourself and others 

Make giving a habit in your life, even if you have to force yourself to do so at first. Spend some time on it. Give your money. Give details about your abilities, talents, and skills. 

Participate in community service. Contribute to a cause that supports social justice. And don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty. 

The more time and energy you spend with others who have less than you, the more fulfillment and significance you will find.

And once you do, the fascination of another person’s personal life will quickly fade.

33. Celebrate the achievements of others 

Realistically and practically, delight in the good fortune of others. Be glad for someone who receives something you seek. If you wanted it, they most likely did as well. 

Stop looking at life as a competition. Joy is a non-renewable resource.

And the day you learn to find happiness in the joy of others is the day you take a big step toward overcoming jealousy once and for all.

34. Realize that some jealousy is normal

There will be persons and situations that put your marriage’s security in jeopardy. Whether it’s a flirty coworker or a profession that demands a lot of travel, it’s acceptable to feel a little jealous. 

The key thing is that you talk about your concerns and establish some boundaries that will preserve your marriage and your emotions.

For example, you and your spouse may both agree that restricting contact with a flirtatious coworker is critical to the health of your marriage. 

Alternatively, you may decide that talking before bedtime while one spouse is driving may soothe concerns.

The important thing is that you discuss the difficulties calmly and work together to find solutions.

35. Find the root cause of jealousy

When one spouse experiences jealousy on a regular basis, it is critical to determine why. 

Is the jealous partner feeling insecure because you don’t spend much time together as a couple? Is there a lack of trust in the marriage as a result of infidelity? 

Ask questions. Determine the source of the jealousy and what may be done to lessen it.

36. Create healthy attachment

Find methods to bond through spending time together. A marriage is more than just sharing a bed and living together. 

It involves showing affection, spending time together and developing a bond with one another. Any threats to your attachment should be taken seriously. 

Jealousy is warranted when it indicates that the marriage is in jeopardy.

37. Create trust

Creating a trusting environment is one of the best strategies to avoid jealousy. This procedure begins with the trust of both spouses. In other words, they are dependable, devoted, and truthful. 

People who are trustworthy do not lie about how they spend their time. They do not also cheat on their husbands.

If you both avoid these dangers, your relationship’s trust will increase and jealousy will fade.

You must trust your partner since there is no other way to have a happy and successful relationship. Nobody can control your relationship, so you must let envy go. 

Having some control isn’t necessarily a bad thing but trying to control someone for matters over which you have no control is troublesome. Regardless of your thoughts of jealousy, act in a kind manner.

The best thing you can do is believe in yourself. Believe in yourself that you can love deeply and without regret. 

Believe in yourself that your love will act as an anchor, keeping your relationship from drifting away. This is not easy but when you trust yourself, you can trust anything comes your way. 

You feel confidence that you will be able to manage even the most difficult situation including a breakup or rejection.

38. Don’t act on your feelings

It’s difficult not to act on how you’re feeling. The sensation of jealousy or any other emotion is not the problem. The true issue arises when you act on that jealousy and allow it to devour you. 

You can feel the emotion but are not obligated to act on it. Remember that your better half is a living, breathing human being who is always interacting with the environment around him/her. 

This world has people of their preferred gender but that does not mean they will cheat on you with them. They are in an intimate relationship with you for a reason. 

They would have dated other people if they had wanted to. So, the next time you’re envious, accept the feelings yet change the way you think about the situation and be reasonable and wise.

39. Express your jealousy in a mature way

If you believe your partner is doing something that makes you envious, you can express your feelings and communicate with them in a mature manner.

 As long as you are respectful, you can communicate it through humor, diplomacy, or directly.

If you’re funny, you can make a joke about how jealous you are when your partner pays attention to someone else. 

Laugh with them as you say this to take the heat off the subject and get the idea across. When you are diplomatic, you can convey to them that you adore them and are confident that they will never cheat on you. 

And if you want to be direct, simply tell them that you trust them but cannot  control your feelings and want them to consider how you feel.

40. Be healthy coping skills

It might be difficult to let go of jealousy in relationships if you don’t have healthy ways of relating. 

If your partner isn’t giving you reason to be suspicious or jealous (for example, by cheating on you or lying often), it’s up to you to tame the root of your jealousy. 

Recognize that you don’t require jealousy, you’re simply used to it. Self-care is important for your physical, emotional, and mental wellness.

When good coping mechanisms are prioritized, they become the norm and eventually replace jealousy.

41. Be honest about your feelings

If you’re suffering from jealousy as a result of a loss or defeat (for example, a broken friendship or a missed goal), it may be tempting to try to appear unaffected. 

If you’re being honest with yourself, you’ll have to admit your true feelings, which will most certainly involve envy and disappointment. 

It’s this confluence of unpleasant, seemingly contradicting emotions that keeps you stuck. Recognizing and accepting your emotions allows you to explore alternatives.

42. Improve your mindset

If you’re wondering how to stop being jealous and controlling, your thinking is most likely to be responsible. 

Examine your mental habits to eliminate jealousy. If you’re overcome with jealousy, do you see the other person clearly — their virtues and contributions to the partnership, as well as their flaws? 

If you find yourself blaming the other person or viewing them in all-or-nothing or black-and-white terms, your brain disorder is most certainly damaging the connection. 

Commit to changing your way of thinking, and you’ll be well on your way to overcoming jealousy.

43. Admit that you are jealous of others

It is important to admit (at least to yourself) that you are jealous. You can’t blame other people for your jealousy.

The truth is that people frequently believe they are jealous because of the actions of others. 

On the other hand, jealousy arises from your own thoughts or reaction to a circumstance.

Admitting you’re jealous can feel dangerous because you’re admitting your own flaws and insecurities.

However, in order to resolve the difficulty of allowing oneself to feel this sensation, you must first recognise that it exists.

44. Replace the negativity with something uplifting

Use your jealousy to your advantage. We solve difficulties by identifying the problem, focusing on what is lacking and filling the hole. 

Sitting about worrying that someone is about to take something vital from you will not get you anywhere if you find yourself with a void because you observe someone else’s gain. Use that emotion to help you improve yourself.

Whatever you are jealous of, the issue is the same: What is getting in your way of getting what you want? What is it that is preventing you from moving forward? 

Is there a physical barrier, or are you afraid of something? Are you constrained or hesitant? Get to the bottom of your belief, and let your jealousy feed your work ethic to fill the vacuum.

45. Tell your loved one that you truly believe in them

You must let go of your lover if you cannot trust them. Otherwise, it is critical to cultivate genuine, honest trust. If your partner says someone of the opposite sex is only a friend, you should believe them.

You must embrace the idea that your partner will be attracted to someone else for the rest of their lives.

However, the same is true for you. The crucial thing is to maintain your composure and understanding in the face of this.

Accepting this implies that you trust your partner will never intentionally betray you. If you show your mate genuine love and respect, your jealousy and feelings of insecurity will fade.

46. Don’t let your jealousy get the best out of you

Jealousy is normal in a relationship, especially if another person is thought to be a threat. The issue emerges when you begin to act on that feeling and allow it to erode your better judgment.

If you start to feel jealous, take a moment to practise mindfulness and tune into your body to figure out what is going on.

Take a stroll or write in a diary to process your feelings and get to the bottom of your jealousy.

Only after you’ve cooled down should you discuss the problem with your partner. Jealous feelings and jealous acts are different, just as there is a distinction between feeling and acting angry.

47. Swallow your ego

One technique to overcome envy is to confront it full on and express your feelings to a coworker.

This does not imply dragging them into a room and telling them why the promotion should have gone to you.

 Instead, keep the conversation light and pleasant by praising them on their achievements. Admit that, while you’re delighted for her, you’re also envious of her success and aim to achieve something in the future. 

This is also a good moment to tell them that you’re thinking about them and that if they need anything, they should let you know.

You can even ask the coworker for guidance on how to achieve your job objectives. 

Chances are that she has insecurities of her own and a simple discussion can serve as a reminder that no one’s life is flawless. 

According to research, open and true interactions are highly valued in relationships particularly those with coworkers and honesty is rewarded by those same coworkers.

48. Focus on gratitude and happiness

A grateful attitude will get you a long way in your effort to get rid of envy. 

Pay close attention whenever you find yourself obsessed over a coworker who appears to receive more attention and possibilities than you do. 

You can also keep a journal and record these memories. This will allow you to let go of the emotion — and will assist you in identifying what causes these sentiments in the first place.

Most importantly, if you find yourself comparing yourself to her then stop and change your perspective. Concentrate on what you’re grateful for in life rather than what you don’t have.

Maintain a digital “smile file” that includes praise, comments and your own job accomplishments. When you focus on appreciation, it’s impossible to be angry or dissatisfied.

49. Don’t compare yourself with others

We’ve all been fooled by this game. Instagram and other social media platforms simply serve to amplify these feelings.

In reality, they are designed for people to share their life’s highlight reel. 

As a result, using Instagram as a measure for success—or comparison—is a fool’s errand.

Surrendering to comparisons allows you to refocus your energy and concentration on your own job and achievement — where they belong — rather than wasting them, obsessing over other people’s success or beating yourself up.

One tip I’ve learnt is to not let the story of how I’m feeling run on and on.

For example, you can be disappointed that your teammate did not get the opportunity, but after a 30-minute “why not me” rant session, it’s time to move on. Recognize it, let it go and move forward.

50. Be easy on yourself and forgive others

We realize how stressful it is to work with coworkers who continually try to demotivate you and impede your productivity. 

Some people may collapse under such pressure, while others may work extra hard to prove them incorrect. 

When things go out of hand in any instance, you wind up hurting yourself mentally. It would be unproductive to be overly hard on yourself when the people around you are already being harsh. 

This is the time to be strong and a little forgiving, especially to yourself for surviving even a single day in such a toxic environment.

51. Make friends with your coworkers and pick an colleague 

One of the main goals of jealous and toxic coworkers is to alienate you so that you do not receive help or support from others when you are in need. 

As a result, making friends at work is essential. Given that your toxic coworkers will be on the same team, you should strive to make friends on other teams.

In addition, if at all possible then choose an ally from a higher level of authority.

52. Make sure you do your job well

What could make someone who is rooting for you to fail feel worse? When they see you doing a good job and winning accolades and everyone’s heart, especially if your employer begins to appreciate your efforts. 

Yes, you risk ruffling their feathers even more but if you are good at what you do, fulfill your goals, and become a reliable asset, they will eventually back down.

The best policy is ignorance. We understand how tempting it must be to approach a jealous coworker and explain how his behavior is harming your productivity. 

Sometimes, taking such a move backfires because toxic or envious coworkers enjoy drama and when they receive clear confirmation that their behavior is  irritating you, it would only make them happier and more intent on carrying on what they are doing.

53. Document everything from work to deadlines 

Document everything including working on weekends, meeting deadlines on time, doing extra work and so on. 

Because a jealous coworker’s first attempt would be to make you look terrible in front of others, particularly your boss. 

Even if you performed everything correctly, they can always alter the truth and say anything as innocent as, ‘Oh! She often cringes away from completing work on a Sunday’ in front of a manager. 

Such remarks can make you appear unprofessional for no apparent reason. So, just to be safe, it is critical to document your efforts.

54. Stop yourself from being negative

When we are jealous, we frequently place someone else on a pedestal. As a result, the most common reaction is to knock them down.

We’ve all had these conversations, right? When one woman remarks on another’s amazing body (or significant other, or life choices, etc.), the others join in, tearing her apart.

It can be subtle at times. A sly compliment such as, “I’d love to have legs like hers, but I’m not eating rabbit food and running all day.” “I’ve got a life.” Regardless of your intentions, passing judgment on others serves no one, least of all you.

55. Become curious

Everything we see in the world is a reflection of our own perception. Jealousy is a strong indicator of where we want to go. 

What is the source of your emotions? Are you dissatisfied with your own job if you find yourself envious of someone else’s? Do you have a secret desire to change careers? Is it her schedule and freedom that you find appealing?

Instead of directing that energy outward, redirect it within yourself. Analyze the source of your feelings. This is not only less negative but it is also productive!

It can help you discover what you want for yourself and motivate you to take action!

56. Clap your hands

Yes! Clap your dang hands for what you see in the world that you want! Being supportive and caring to other women benefits us all. This takes practice but it’s so rewarding once you get into the swing of it.

Sooner you begin applauding those who have gone before you, the sooner you will join them.

But if you give someone a big, nasty thumbs-down every time you see them doing something you want to do, you haven’t indicated that’s what you want for yourself. You’re effectively saying “no” to your desires.

Raise your hands! Your positivity will not only brighten your day but it may also be the bridge that connects you to your goal or the people who help you get there.


How to Get Over Jealousy

Nobody enjoys feeling jealous. However, jealousy is an essential feeling that almost all of us will experience. 

The issue with jealousy isn’t so much that it arises from time to time as it is what it causes to us when we don’t control it. It can be terrifying to witness what occurs when we allow our envy to overtake us or influence our perceptions of ourselves and the world around us. 

That is why understanding where our jealous sentiments come from and learning how to cope with jealousy in healthy, adaptive ways is so important in so many aspects of our life, from interpersonal relationships to careers to personal objectives.

Look at the ways to get over jealousy. 

1. Accept your jealous thoughts

Putting up a lot of effort to stop, change or suppress a negative idea or feeling rarely works. 

These attempts might leave you feeling frustrated, exhausted, and sometimes even emotionally drained.

Judging yourself for being jealous can complicate the problem by introducing shame, guilt, and rage into the mix.

The greatest method to overcome tough emotions such as anger, jealousy, or sadness is to acknowledge and feel them. 

People who embrace unpleasant feelings report being able to work through them more quickly and being less prone to make poor decisions when they are upset. 

Instead of resisting your feelings of jealousy, tell yourself that they are normal, real, and acceptable.

2. Don’t grow the jealous feeling

Rumination is one of the poor behaviors that can amplify jealousy and make you more likely to do or say something you later regret. 

One of the main ways you may be increasing your jealousy is by repeating and dwelling on angry, jealous, or unpleasant thoughts. 

These kinds of thoughts feed into negative emotions causing them to grow larger, stronger and more persistent.

Some of the thoughts that can fuel jealousy include:

  • Comparisons you draw between yourself and a buddy
  • Ruminating on your flaws, insecurities, or shortcomings
  • Assuming a friend prefers someone else over you
  • Playing out conflicts or arguments with a pal in your head
  • Being too critical of someone your friend admires

When these kinds of ideas arise, redirect your attention to something else by focusing on your body, your environment or by becoming more present through the use of your five senses. 

These easy mindfulness exercises will help you break the rumination cycle and calm down faster.

3. Determine your inner fears and insecurities

Jealousy is typically associated with fears and insecurities about oneself or one’s friendship.

By identifying these, you can gain a deeper understanding of your jealousy, where it comes from and why it is expressed in that situation.

The following are some examples of frequent underlying concerns that might lead to jealousy:

  • Fears about being replaced
  • Fears of abandonment
  • Beliefs that you will be betrayed or injured
  • Uncertainty regarding the depth of your bond
  • Feeling unlovable, unworthy, or “less than”
  • A friend does not make you feel valued or prioritized.
  • Concerns about the loss of trust or closeness

Often, these fears come from what you believe and feel about yourself or your friendship rather than what your friend believes. 

In other circumstances, your anxieties stem from previous betrayals in prior relationships rather than from your current bond. 

When jealousy stems from past troubles or personal insecurities, it may be necessary to increase your self-esteem or deal with your own insecurities in order to overcome these feelings.

4. Separate your real and imaginary thoughts

Jealousy can arise in response to serious threats. Sometimes the threat is fictitious. 

Real threats can signal a trust issue or a disagreement in your friendship, which should be addressed and resolved honestly with your friend. 

Imaginary threats are more likely to represent personal concerns and fears and should frequently be dealt with on your own.

Some of the questions to consider when determining whether a threat is real or not are as follows:

  • What makes me feel threatened?
  • Is this actually a threat to my friendship or to me?
  • Is there any evidence that this is a threat?
  • What role do my own anxieties and insecurities play?
  • Would a third party agree with my assessment?

FAQs

1. How do you deal with insecurity in a relationship?

In a relationship, you can overcome insecurities by focusing on the positives, communicating your wants clearly, and understanding the triggers that make you jealous or insecure.

2. Why do I feel the need to wield power over everything in my relationship?

It could be related to a deep sense of insecurity, which can be traced back to childhood needs that were not satisfied appropriately. Because you lack faith in yourself and your partner, jealousy leads to a drive to exert control over your relationship.

3. What is the best way to get rid of jealousy?

You may overcome jealousy by focusing on the great qualities you share with your partner, learning to trust, being open and communicative, and being willing to seek professional help if you can’t control your negative emotions. 

4. Is it possible to have healthy jealousy?

Jealousy is not good, but it can help your relationship become stronger by discovering what you truly desire and what makes you insecure. Once you’ve identified with it, you can concentrate on improving that aspect.

5. Why am I so jealous of my friends?

People who are insecure about themselves may feel envious of their friends. Insecurities about money, your employment, your relationship status, or your appearance can lead to envy of others, including friends.

6. What are the signs of a jealous friend?

Because people react differently to jealousy, the indicators of jealousy aren’t the same for everyone. Some jealous friends will withdraw or separate themselves from you, while others may become competitive, protective, or even hostile.

7. Why do I seem to attract jealous friends?

People with poor self-esteem are more prone to jealousy, thus having a lot of jealous friends may just mean you have a lot of insecure friends.  Setting strong boundaries with friends can also lead to imbalanced, codependent relationships which increase the likelihood of jealousy.

8. What causes friends to feel jealous of one another?

Jealousy is frequently the result of insecurity. A jealous individual may suffer from personal insecurities and low self-esteem or they may have relational concerns that lead to jealousy.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Jealousy is a common emotion in most people. The issue arises when they allow those emotions to overtake them. This can wreak havoc on their lives and the lives of their loved ones. 

The strategies listed above are efforts to better yourself, but they can also change how you enjoy and connect with those around you.

While jealousy may still rear its ugly head, if you continue to practise these tips, you will be able to detect when jealousy is arising and control those emotions rather than allowing them to rule you.

Hopefully, the ideas presented in this article will inspire you to stop being jealous and work on improving your relationship with yourself and the person you care about.

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