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80+ Common Red Flags in a Relationship

80+ Common Red Flags in a Relationship

Updated on May 27, 2022 | Published on Feb 11, 2022

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

Red Flags in a Relationship - 80 Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

So, you want to know about the red flags in a relationship

Perhaps, something nagging onto your heart about your lover’s actions? Hurting from their callous attitude during a vulnerable moment?

That immensely pains me… but I’m still glad you decided against tolerating the situation silently. You make me proud and inspire other sufferers.

But there’s good news… a red flag doesn’t imply your relationship is doomed, it gives you another chance to learn about each other’s desires, dreams, and hopes about your relationship.

…and I hope everything works out fine and you turn into a power couple.

If it doesn’t work out, remember the world doesn’t end there.

So, without any regrets and hopes for a better future, let’s begin…

Red Flags in a Relationship Infographic

Red Flags in a Relationship - 80 Red Flags You Should Never Ignore
Red Flags in a Relationship – 80 Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

What are red flags in a relationship?

Summary
The small little signals in a relationship that make you uncertain about its flow and long-life are called red flags.

According to clinical psychologists, in a relationship, a red flag is any sign, behavior, or action that the partner exhibits that makes you unsure about the health of your relationship.

The red color is very common for emergencies like ambulances, or halts like in sports and traffic. And flagging or pinning is something you’ll revisit to track or understand.

Red flags in a relationship might be intense suggesting you take a U-turn from the romantic relationship, or mild implying you can proceed with caution.

In the early stages, relationship red flags are a premonition about the toxicity or poor health of romantic relationships. It usually begins when your partner doesn’t behave normally.

However, everyone has unique definitions of normal, so it might vary.

Also, there’s another kind of sign in your relationship, let’s know more about…


Red Flags vs Yellow Flags

Summary
Red flags usually imply you might be in a relationship with the wrong person. Yellow flags imply you must give more time and slow down your relationship.

Red flags in relationships are somewhat universally valid for all relationships and definite reasons to review the relationship.

For instance, a person with toxic behaviors, substance misuse, a history of cheating, or even with a record of domestic violence… All of these are universal red flags.

On the flip side, yellow flags imply signs to be mindful with each step in your relationship. They’re moderate and depend on your desires from a relationship.

An example of a yellow flag in a relationship is a person aware of their troubles with emotional attachment and is trying to fix it.

Wondering about the health of your relationship? Let’s check these…


80 common red flags in a relationship

If you ever notice a red flag in your relationship, never take it lightly. Ignoring once leads to ignoring twice and then you blame yourself for not taking a step earlier. 

Red flags imply deep-rooted issues in your relationship, so talk about it as soon as possible to save your relationship. 

Also, before jumping to a conclusion, double-check if it’s a real red flag or if you’re only exaggerating things.

Without further ado, let’s check out the alarms…

1. Hush-hush about social media tags

A person hiding their long-term romantic relationship from social media implies that they have other romantic commitments IRL or online.

Or, they’re simply ashamed of introducing you publicly… and neither of them sounds good enough to continue the relationship.

2. Invisible emotional intimacy

Relationship experts say that emotional intimacy is important for a long-lasting relationship foundation and growth… and the lack of it can lead to a strenuous relationship.

If your partner doesn’t want to bond emotionally at all, they possibly don’t have the long-term goal in mind.

Honestly communicate about your relationship expectations to ensure you’re on the same page.

3. They prioritize the moment too much

Your present is important, but so is your future. Lack of communication about future plans implies they don’t intend to stay beside you in the long run.

However, future plans don’t imply family planning. It might be a date three months later or even meeting each other’s parents sometimes.

Moreover, if they refuse or ignore any future conversations with you, that’s a huge warning sign.

4. They stall the family introduction

Sometimes people hesitate to introduce partners to friends and family because they don’t want interference or any judgmental remarks on the relationship.

However, when the relationship isn’t new anymore and your partner doesn’t introduce you to their loved ones… there’s a good chance they don’t want anyone to know about your existence or the relationship.

5. They blatantly refuse deep discussions

Another warning sign is when your partner refuses to share deep thoughts about their fears, dreams, expectations, or any other information.

There might be a hidden deep-seated issue that might make you run for the hills. It grows suspicions about the relationship’s stability and genuineness.

6. They’ve extreme negativity towards parents

Anyone can have a rocky relationship with their parents; however, hate is an extreme emotion. If your partner hates their parents, they probably had a toxic or abusive relationship with them.

Your partner is still not over past traumatic experiences and needs clinical attention, else there might be major relationship struggles.

7. Their happiness wins over

A relationship includes two people supporting and prioritizing each other’s needs, else where’s the connection?

If your partner doesn’t care about your desires, makes you feel insecure, these are major deal-breakers. How will you continue a relationship where you’re not happy?

8. The old you is a secret

Nobody starts dating and decides to share the future in a fluke. Two people in love wish they met before, try to know about each other’s past, life hurdles, happiness, disappointments, and so on.

If your partner never asks about your past, they don’t care how you build yourself, or how the old you reacted to hardships. It implies they’re not invested in the relationship.

9. They misuse sarcasm

Witty sarcasm can be a sign of healthy relationships only when both sides are comfortable.

However, if your partner uses it to hurt or shame you… that’s borderline verbal and emotional abuse.

Emotional abusers don’t stop even when you request them… if things look similar in your relationship, then quit before it impacts your mental health.

10. They ignore your messages

Your partner might not be available to receive calls or reply to texts during work hours.

However, if they ignore your name on the notification tab beyond working hours, or for days… that’s a major red flag.

It implies they don’t prioritize you and your relationship might suffer if you guys don’t stay physically close due to communication issues.

11. They shut down mid-argument

If your partner refuses to communicate about difficult conversations, i.e., stonewalls you… it’s a big red flag. You’ll never resolve any conflict if things don’t change.

Also, building emotional intimacy is out of the question if you don’t overcome difficult issues together… because communication is the only solution.

12. You tiptoe in your relationship

Another major red flag is your partner always threatening “Let’s break up.” You feel insecure when it’s so easy for your partner to leave you.

Perhaps you’re always afraid of your partner dumping you, so you conceal your emotions to not rile up your partner… and that’s emotionally taxing.

13. They’re never responsible

If your partner always blames something or someone instead of accepting the situation, nags at how tough their luck and life is, it implies they’ll never hold themselves responsible for any situation.

Even during relationship disasters, they’ll hold you responsible rather than working through it. It will soon lead to blame-games.

14. Their emotional presence is inconsistent

A relationship needs constant emotional presence from both parties. If your partner tends to become emotionally absent from time to time, that’s detrimental to your mental health.

For instance, when they become emotionally present again, you feel elated. You get severe mood swings for their actions and that warps your notion of healthy relationships.

15. Weekends are for parties

Every healthy employed couple looks forward to the weekend to bond with each other.

If your partner is more interested in parties during the weekend, know that the relationship takes the back seat while parties with others away from you are priorities… which is an alarming sign.

16. You bow alone

After a lover’s spat, who makes the first move to make things right? Do they never apologize and wait until you feel guilty about the distance in between?

If yes, that’s an absolute deal-breaker because a healthy relationship needs both parties to play equally.

Babysitting your partner will soon get under your skin and spoil the relationship.

17. They’re clingier than leech

In the early stages of dating, your partner’s dependency might seem cute.

However, in the long run, constantly seeking you for affection, attention, assurance, and approval can be signs of underlying issues.

It might be self-doubt, insecurities, or even codependency. You’ll mentally exhaust yourself tending to them if you don’t seek clinical help.

18. They’re always high

Nobody shows their bad sides openly to the object of their affection. So, if you see your partner high most times, they’re usually more high than how you see them.

Possibly they’re an addict and that can lead to obvious relationship issues later on.

19. There’s a lack of overlaps

Polar opposites can still fall in love, however, they show interest in each other’s hobbies to spend time together.

Despite having nothing in common, does your partner try to spend time with you doing something totally unknown?

If not, then that’s alarming because you must overlap your interests to bond.

Otherwise, it will hamper your compatibility and connection.

20. They never have company

Your partner might be introverted and have fewer friends, however, introverts bond very deeply with the handful of friends they have.

If you don’t see them hanging with friends or even talking about them, then something might be seriously off.

21. They hide their whereabouts

Unless a person is planning a surprise gift, a date, or even a proposal, no couple needs to hide things from each other.

If they hide it anyway, then they’re aware those are deal-breakers. Don’t stay behind in relationships without any transparency.

22. There’s to-and-fro ghosting

Another red flag is when you guys always hit up each other and they suddenly disappear from your life without notice.

You’re out there wondering what happened for days or weeks and they suddenly show up. Perhaps, they were sick and resting, or they were doing something unacceptable.

This shows an acute lack of communication in your relationship.

23. They mistreat servers

When their Starbucks Barista delays their order, or when a new cashier at Walmarts takes longer to check out everyone, how do they behave?

If they mistreat them without any good reason, they lack compassion and empathy. This might be a sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder too.

Also, if you ever disappoint them, they’ll treat you the same.

24. Their intentions are blurred

You’re just not sure about their intentions anymore.

Some people think playing hard to get intensified feelings, but it’s a sign of a commitment-phobe, i.e., they’ll never be exclusive with you.

25. They publicly disrespect you

If they disrespect you in front of your friends or family, know they’ll do far worse behind them. You can’t sustain a relationship without mutual respect.

When they exhibit such toxic behaviors, break off before emotional damage.

26. They don’t love their pets

Pets are like dearest friends, family, or even a child. If your partner doesn’t spend time bonding with their pets, they have trouble forming emotional connections.

And if they can’t bond with a poor pet without any demands, how will they ever bond with you?

27. Your achievements are never fancy

Whenever you celebrate your achievements, if they make fun of it, or try restraining your happiness, they’re insecure about themselves. It’s a sign of their controlling behavior.

Despite how small your achievements are, they’re still worth celebrating. They restrain you so that they can feel good about themselves and have the upper hand in the relationship.

28. Your insecurities are comedic

Everyone has insecurities and that’s natural. However, if your partner pokes fun at your wounds it’s a major red flag. And if they do it in public, there’s no turning back.

They crossed all humane boundaries, so consider ending things, or stay back at your own risk.

29. An air of denial surrounds them

If your partner always feels they’re the right one, they know everything, they can’t do anything wrong… they’re not emotionally well. During relationship conflicts, they’ll behave the same.

Their condition can soon impact your mental or emotional wellness if they don’t treat their obsession of being “right.”

30. Humiliation is high in the relationship

An alarming sign is if their favorite pastime is humiliating you, then you’re a verbal or emotional abuse victim.

A loving couple never belittles each other. Rather they become each other’s support to reach the top. Communicate about how it impacts you. If their behavior persists, consider ending things.

31. They’re a blabbermouth

Certain topics are better off staying between a couple only. If your partner spills private discussions out in public, then what’s the meaning of a couple at all.

You can never confide in them because they don’t understand privacy and boundaries.

Even if you ask them to fix it, they might share it with friends. This leads to constant strain in the relationship.

32. They monopolize you

Some red flags early in the relationships seem adorable… initially you think they can’t stay without you so they keep you from meeting friends.

However, with time you notice yourself completely isolated from your social life. That’s a sign of controlling behavior and an abusive relationship.

33. They hate you socializing

When you spend time with a distant family or a friend of the opposite gender, if they get angry, that’s another red flag. They have controlling tendencies and anger issues.

Mistrust can ruin the relationship in the long run. If they don’t seek medical help quickly, you’ll be the one needing help.

34. They don’t trust you

Trust is another crucial part of all relationships. If your partner asks your whereabouts every hour, they suspect you’ll cheat on them.

This is a sign of trust issues from previous or current relationships.

You can’t continue the relationship without trust, so seek a therapist to fix the situation.

35. They’re green-eyed

Jealousy is another relationship red flag people label cute. However, it indicates underlying issues like lack of trust and confidence in you and insecurities.

Never cheer on jealous reactions and seek therapy. If not, their jealousy might consume the relationship.

36. They snoop through your phone

Ever faced a situation when your partner disbelieved you to the point of checking your DMs? Or, even worse, you caught them red-handed looking through your phone?

These are sure-fire signs of trust issues. Also, they think privacy invasion is normal between couples because they own you. Don’t tolerate such toxic behaviors and respect yourself.

37. They force their kinks on you

Some people don’t understand that NO means NO. If your partner forces you to perform uncomfortable sexual action, that’s sexual abuse.

They can’t respect your boundaries and that’s demeaning. They look down on you as a sex toy they own. If you can’t change the relationship dynamics, break up.

38. Sex is a pawn

Refusing sex is a type of manipulation twisted people use in their relationships.  It’s normal to not have sex during fights… however, if they use sex in exchange for their happiness, that’s toxic.

In fact, sex is part of a healthy romantic relationship. If they refuse you satisfaction intentionally, they’re not the one.

39. They have a degree in gaslighting

Did your partner ever refuse to admit anything they did? Gaslighters say, “You had a bad dream” or “You’re imagining things.”

Despite remembering everything, you actually question your mental health. That’s another type of manipulation and a major red flag of toxic relationships.

For your sake, leave them immediately.

40. They’re vanilla in the bed

Despite suggesting an edge in your sex life, if your partner refuses your needs because they only like missionary, that’s a sign of selfishness.

But it might also be a sign of sexuality or gender role issues.

Bottom line: Their needs are more important than yours and they don’t care about your satisfaction.

41. They push you during fights

If your partner ever intentionally hurts you during arguments, that’s physical abuse. Even if they deny and say it was unintentional, yet repeat such behaviors, you’ll understand it.

If you’re a domestic abuse victim, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1800-799-7233 or 1800-787-3224. Leave this relationship right away before things get worse.

42. They have destructive tendencies

When someone destroys inanimate objects during fights, it’s still abuse. They inflict emotional fear about the next hit landing on you. Also, abuse doesn’t only include physical or sexual abuse.

It can be spiritual, emotional, mental, verbal, and a lot more.

Even if they destroy your religious texts or refuse a worshiping place, that’s spiritual abuse. Never tolerate such behaviors in a relationship.

43. They want to be your savior

If your partner is around to save the damsel in distress, that’s just their insecurities expressing themselves.

Even if you have something to fix about yourself, your partner can’t save you… that’s your job.

They might support you through your journey but save the saving story, else your relationship will go under.

44. They fantasize about your “potential”

Having an ideal type isn’t wrong, but forcing the ideals on you is. If they think of you as a pet project that needs a little more brushing to reach perfection, why are they in a relationship?

After all, they don’t love the current “you” but fantasize about what you can become. They make you feel insecure about yourself, that’s a red flag of a dysfunctional relationship.

45. They never follow through

If your partner promises you to do the chores or pick the kids from school but forgets about it all, don’t you feel frustrated?

After all, you have to pick up the responsibilities afterward, and they always bail out. That’s a major unjust relationship issue.

Think again about their intentions towards the relationship.

46. There are too many white lies

Did your partner ever lie to you about trivial matters and once you caught them red-handed, they justified it with “I didn’t want to hurt you”?

White lies are fine once in a while but repeated white lies trouble the relationship and you. In fact, their actions instill trust issues in you which damage the relationship even further.

47. They have a history of casual dating

If they were never in a seriously committed relationship and already in their 20s, that’s a suspicious red flag. Perhaps, they are commitment-phobic.

However, that’s only a possibility, so take time to understand them well. Investigate their past if they don’t disclose their past.

48. They track your spending

Whether you have a joint account or not, does your partner constantly nags you about spending your money?

Though spending responsibly is important, nagging for every penny is controlling.

Their behavior might be a reflection of your image in their mind. Maybe, they think you can’t handle finances, are too naïve, or wish to restrict your access to joint finances.

Talk about the situation and your boundaries.

49. They want to rip apart their ex

If they still hold grudges against their ex… to the point of harming them, then they obsess over their ex. Their life still revolves around their ex and your relationship might be a rebound.

Also note that if you break up with them, they might go on a killing spree against you. If you feel unsafe, take a loved one’s help.

Or,

50. They compare you with their ex

If your partner still misses their ex, talks about them, compares you with their ex, or tries to dress you like them… that’s another kind of obsession over their ex.

They’re using you as a replacement, to fill the void inside them, or to soothe them when they feel down. This relationship might not be out of love… another warning sign.

51. They have a cheating history

If there’s gossip about your partner cheating on all of their past lovers, they haven’t changed for love… even if they swear. They’ll cheat again, they never change, leave!

52. They obsess over couple goals

Nowadays social media is raging with goals for almost everything… from romantic relationships to parent-child relationships, social media didn’t spare anything.

It’s fine to leave a like and scroll away, however, if they show dissatisfaction in the relationship because you didn’t turn any couple goal true, that’s some unrealistic expectations.

Communicate about the unrealistic nature of their expectations and notice if they change.

53. They win over with charms

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorders try to win over all situations with their charms. They use their looks to ask for forgiveness.

In fact, if there’s an untold rule in your relationship that allows them unacceptable actions for their looks, that’s problematic. Never forgive a sinner for their looks.

54. They never show gratitude

When was the last time they appreciated your efforts? Or do you guys follow a No-sorry, no-thank-you rule? A relationship without gratitude can frustrate you enough to ruin itself.

Despite deciding on a no-thank-you rule, practice gratitude. Let them know how you like your relationship if you want to nurture it.

55. They deny their debt

If your partner’s financial situation is bad or has lots of debt, yet they try to lead a lavish life to maintain status or to show off… that’s immaturity.

Their childishness might get you both bankrupt in the near future. Either take over the financial situation for your security or leave the relationship if things are still new.

56. Their gifts have ulterior motives

It feels great when your partner spoils you, however, do they have other intentions behind it? For instance, maybe they say “I always get you so much jewelry, can’t you do me this favor?”

Saying that once in a while is acceptable, but if this is a pattern, that’s dangerous. That’s a type of manipulation to control you.

57. There’s an unhealthy dependence

If your partner tries to please you with everything, neglect their own needs and feels good only when you praise them, that’s a trait of codependency.

Codependent partners spend all of their energy on their partners and hold resentful feelings when they don’t receive the same in return.

Seek a licensed marriage counselor to save the relationship.

58. You’re irresistible to them

Everyone wants their lover to say that they are the most attractive. However, there must be a limit to it. If they never stop, then they’re more like a fan than a life partner.

Perhaps they idealize you too much, even about things you’re not good at… that’s a sign of infatuation, not love. Show them the real you and watch if they accept your flaws.

59. There’s sexual incompatibility

Though sex isn’t everything in a romantic relationship, it is an important way to bond with healthy human beings. Perhaps you want it daily, but they think weekly is the limit.

When your libido doesn’t match, there will be resentment in the relationship. Before taking a toll on your relationship, communicate about your carnal desires and reach a middle ground.

60. They don’t understand personal space

Perhaps during work from home, your partner sticks to your body all the time… even when you ask them not to. Or, when you’re cooking, they can’t stay away although you want them to.

Though these aren’t seemingly hurtful, they don’t respect your personal space. Or, they think they own your body like it’s a toy. This might become risky in the future, so talk it out now.

61. They’re a serial monogamist

How long has it been since their last breakup? 1 hour, 1 day, or 1 week?

If they move on too fast, then they were possibly never emotionally invested in their partners, have a string of rebound relationships, or worse – cheated on their ex with you.

Either way, all of them are red flags.

62. Their eyes keep rolling

Rolling eyes is a sign of disrespect and immaturity… and if your partner does that frequently, that says a lot about your relationship circumstances

Communicate about it… but if they still roll their eyes, better leave.

63. They have no motivation

How far are they in life? How do they feel about their job? No, your partner needn’t be a multimillionaire, but are they happy with their profession?

If they aren’t, what are they doing to fix it? If they’re not motivated enough to fix their work-life now, they’ll later impose on your finances which is a major red flag for everyone.

64. Your schedule clashes

If they’re a night owl and your partner sleeps early, you can still adjust. However, if it’s a long-term or lifetime situation, you’ll face trouble spending time together or even socializing together.

You’ll become two people living under the same roof without any connection. Communicate how to adjust, else your relationship will slowly wither away.

65. They’re entitled to your passwords

If your partner demands all of your phone and social media passwords, they clearly have trust issues.

They might manipulate your thoughts saying couples share everything but you deserve privacy.

Don’t compromise for anything less than you deserve. Privacy doesn’t imply you’re cheating, and their access to your passwords doesn’t imply that the fights will stop.

They’ll fight repeatedly for their insecurities.

66. You often visit the guilt-town

If your partner makes you feel guilty too often for past mistakes or misfortune, they don’t love you. Rather they love to poke at old wounds and make you feel less than.

They want to control you for past faults and own you completely. They might have several mental health issues.

67. They humiliate your body

If your partner can’t respect your body during intimate moments, or blame you for any mishap during sex – even if it’s due to inexperience – that’s a major red flag.

Don’t allow someone to have your body if they poke at your vulnerabilities.

68. You define infidelity differently

If you think flirting with others is cheating, but your partner thinks it’s alright as long as they don’t hit the bed, that’s an alarming incompatibility.

Even if you compromise now, either of you might get tired of the adjustment and break the promises. Think over what you desire in a relationship.

69. They have doubles standards

They preach that your body is a temple, don’t show them off to everyone else. However, they get frisky with others and that’s totally cool.

If that’s your relationship, they’re unfair towards you… and don’t seem to understand the meaning of love, relationship, or even equality.

70. Your loved ones disapprove of them

What do your friends and family think of them? Do they feel excited to see your new partner, or do they feel suspicious? If your loved ones urge you to break up, then that’s another warning.

Usually, loved ones notice red flags earlier than you because they’re not blinded by the same emotions. Talk to your loved ones about it for better insight.

71. They always impose their wishes on you

Hardly any couple exists where both like the same things. In balanced relationships, people try participating in their partner’s activities equally.

However, do you think you yield to your partner’s whims more than them? If you feel there’s an imbalance, then that’s another warning sign.

72. You feel more insecure than before

Who doesn’t have insecurities in this world? Even the most perfect ones do. However, love eliminates all kinds of insecurities with faith, trust, and tenderness.

But if you feel worse than before since the relationship began, that’s a red flag. They aren’t taking care of you and instead made you more insecure.

73. It shifts from Us to Me

Healthy couples refer to themselves as an invincible team. It’s not because they want to act cute, rather it defines their unity.

It’s a red flag if either or both of you started referring to yourselves as “I” or “me” instead of “we” and “us.” You guys are already separated mentally and from your heart.

74. You guys hardly go on dates

How frequently do you guys’ plan dates for each other? Every weekend, every alternate weekend, no?

If you both spend too much time on your own, even when you’re not long-distancing or social-distancing, that’s fishy. It’s as if you both like your own company more than each other.

Also, you don’t get to communicate at all if you don’t spend time together.

75. They don’t charm you anymore

If you don’t find your partner attractive any longer, that’s another red flag. Something serious must be off about your relationship.

Your subconscious mind is way past over them, but you’re in denial about your relationship.

76. You always cover for them

Do you always seem to advocate for them? “They’re just having a lot to deal with at work, else they’re not impolite at all.” If you always justify their mistake, that’s another alarming red flag.

You’re like an unpaid babysitter and they take advantage of your goodwill to mistreat you or even embarrass you.

77. Everything is too fast

How long did it take you from meeting each other to the talk of marriage? Well, there’s no hard-and-fast rule about this time gap.

However, if you feel the gap is/was too short, that’s a red flag.

They’re possibly still living in a past relationship and the current one is a rebound. They want to continue the dreams of the last relationship instead of restarting fresh.

78. Their body language is sus

In long-term relationships, you’ll know your partner’s usual way to communicate, bond, or even laugh from heart to heart.

Sometimes, the workload gets to them and they don’t react the same. However, that’s not possible forever.

If the change in body language persists, there might be a serious reason behind it.

79.  You’re never in the loop

Before important life decisions like a change in job, moving out from a place, or even taking up a job overseas… people share it with their family and life partners

If you’re never on their mind while undergoing radical change in their life, that’s a warning sign. You’re out of the picture and they don’t see you as an important element in their life.

80. There’s a communication gap

Communication can solve most of the issues and misunderstandings in a relationship. In fact, all relationship experts suggest communication as one of the first steps to having a healthy relationship.

But if you and your partner are completely out of touch, then you guys don’t have each other’s hearts anymore.

Lack of communication is one of the worst warning signs in any relationship.

Found some red flags in your relationship? Before you try fixing your relationship, find out…


When to address the red flags in a relationship?

Summary
If your partner still seems to care despite the red flags, tries to communicate and understand your point of view, that’s your cue to address the issues.

Red flags are early signs of a relationship’s doom, however, if you both are serious about fixing the small issues in your relationship, that’s a good sign itself.

And of course, depending on your likes and dislikes, there are unforgivable and negotiable signs.

If you think the signs in your relationships are negotiable and you can make it work with communication and a better understanding of each other’s situation, that’s when you ponder on addressing the red flags.

Also, if you feel that the situation needs more thought and jumping to conclusions might hurt your relationship, there’s a chance of fixing your relationship.

Didn’t notice any positive signs in your relationship? Time to know…


When to get out of a relationship due to the red flags?

Summary
If your partner doesn’t show any sign of cooperating, denies your thoughts, makes you question your thoughts, or doesn’t respond to your efforts of fixing the relationship, end it.

Getting out of a romantic relationship is a hard decision. Moreover, if you’re in denial, you might decide against it.

However, after detecting some non-negotiable signs in your relationships it’s time to decide how to deal with the situation. Another deal-breaker is if they deny the reality and blame it on you.

Also, if you don’t find any result from the steps discussed later in this think-piece, consider ending your relationship.

If you still feel unsure about your decision, then consult some close ones who have your best in mind. They can provide you with better insights into your life decisions.

Don’t hide anything from them to give them a proper picture of the situation.

Let’s return to reality… proceed after noticing the red signals in a relationship from…


What should you do when you’re experiencing these red flags?

When you identify the red flags in your relationship, you might lose your rationality and feel like blowing off steam with a huge fight. But that won’t make the situation any better. 

Instead, look for a more rational way out of your situation. Think again… if this person is your destiny, will hurting them do any good to your relationship dynamics?

Also, what’s the point of fighting with someone who isn’t for you?

Come on, let’s find the right way to deal with this situation…

1. Spell out your needs

As said, communication is very important to build a healthy and balanced relationship. Communicate properly without verbally abusing or screaming at each other.

Have a calm mindset before you begin the conversation so that your emotions don’t get the better of you.

2. Scribble your boundaries

You must have certain off-limits things that your partner doesn’t understand. You both know about what each of you can’t tolerate in your relationship.

However, only asking them or telling them to follow something isn’t enough. Write down your boundaries clearly so that they can’t define a situation as a mistake.

If you think they might lose or destroy the paper, upload its picture on their cloud.

3. Exchange the boundary lists

They will have their own boundaries and everything won’t be at your own comfort. Compromise equally to reach common grounds.

Do not sell yourself too short out of love, or let them slack because they aren’t ready yet. A relationship needs compromise and they’ll comply if they want it.

4. Stick to your grounds

After expressing your demands, even if they try to bargain further, don’t allow it.

They possibly found a new way to break your boundaries and want to negotiate once more to make a fool out of you.

Hear it if you want to, but don’t instantly agree. Notice a few days before you think about it.

5. Don’t build trust too fast

Despite your partner breaking your trust, you always tend to give them one more chance. Make things clear that you won’t forgive them even if they don’t take it seriously.

Of course, you can’t trust your partner easily and will keep second-guessing the situation until you notice any progress.

Don’t be afraid, this isn’t about trusting your partner, but your instincts.

6. Never rely on guilt

Never say “I’ve done so much for you and this is how you repay my goodwill?” or, “Haven’t I always overlooked your coworkers flirting with you? Why can’t you stay back?”

Don’t use anything as a bargaining chip to continue the relationship. You’ll only disrespect yourself and let your partner regain the upper hand if you use such tactics.

7. Avoid manipulative tricks

Your partner, their friends, or family might try to manipulate you into thinking you’re wrong. Don’t let their words get to you. In fact, they might even blame their child/friend’s wrongs on you.

Never second-guess your intentions… After all, you’re here because you noticed something was off in your relationship.

8. Take up therapy

While you take care of the health of your relationship, find more information from a licensed marriage and family counselor.

If your relationship dynamics are due to childhood trauma or a deep-seated mental health issue, therapy can help. Or, seek someone who specializes in relationships.

Also, the long battle took a toll on your emotions and psychology… If you don’t feel well, consider individual therapy.

Track any pattern of red flags in consecutive relationships. Find a solution if you attract the same kind of red flags towards yourself.

9. Break free from the cage

Even if therapy doesn’t make much difference in your life, it’s time to end things for good. There’s no point staying back in a relationship where your partner doesn’t care about your feelings.

In the long run, you’ll fall out of love anyway, so why waste more time on an uncertain relationship.

Once you feel you can’t wait for their change anymore, that’s the perfect moment to move.

10. Pamper yourself

Amid this chaos in your life, you slowly lose strength and will to live your life in your own way. Your partner’s toxicity, abuse, or even disinterest made you feel numb about life.

This isn’t the end so nurture your soul slowly. It hurts, but try rebuilding your willpower. If you like dancing, join a dance class, or give dance lessons yourself.

Immerse in something to nourish yourself.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Whether you come out of this phase as a stronger couple, or as two people on different routes, never regret your decision. 

Living with uncertainties about the future was never a choice as it will only bring you further heartbreaks and disappointments. 

Also, this might not be the end of red flags, and your relationship might have unique ones. The hint is in your instincts, whenever you feel something is wrong in your relationship, communicate. 

But communicating is quite hard because nobody learns this skill since birth. So, learn from the available resources online or offline. Communication skills will also help you in the long run.

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