If you are in a complicated relationship or experiencing conflicts, you may feel the need for space in a relationship to figure out solutions.
Amid this, taking a break does not mean breaking up with your partner. It is just a time for yourself to think about different things and spend some alone time.
That’s when space in a relationship gives you the liberty to do something for yourself. In the process, it also helps you find a solution to your problems.
However, in some cases, space can complicate your relationship more and increase the distance between you two.
What is space in a relationship?
Space in a relationship can allow you and your partner to focus on yourself. You can find your individuality apart from your relationship with each other. You can find out the things that you want in your life and from your relationship.
Space can give you enough time to explore the things that you like to do and pursue your hobbies.
Personal space is very important for everyone and for your relationship too.
If you are happy and satisfied with yourself, you can make everyone around you happy too.
If you can balance your personal space in your relationship it can prove beneficial for you. With this, you won’t need a break from your relationship at any point.
Personal space is really necessary for your personal growth and improvements.
Besides, if a partner is asking for some space in the relationship, don’t get them wrong. It does not mean they want to be single. They just need some time for themselves.
How important it is to have space in your relationship
Sometimes when you are too involved in your relationship you may lose yourself in the process.
You need some time for yourself to explore your individualities, personal goals, and desires in this life.
Sometimes, when partners are too close and share each and every moment together, things can get boring. It may also result in one of you feeling uncomfortable.
You will need some alone time to pamper and listen to yourself.
If you are having some complications in your relationship then you may want space. The reason is to avoid those problems as it can make things more difficult.
You can take some time if you really need to think. However, the longer you avoid your problems the more they will be difficult to solve.
Why does someone need space in a relationship?
There are four main reasons behind your thought of having space in your relationship.
To maintain your identity
Sometimes when you are too occupied in your relationship you may lose yourself in it. People often forget that they have a separate identity other than their relationship.
If you are overwhelmed by your responsibilities in this relationship you may not find enough time to discover yourself.
You should find out your true identity other than a partner in this relationship.
You have certain responsibilities to yourself and you should fulfill them to keep yourself happy and satisfied.
Maintaining a relationship where you are losing yourself for a long time can be really hectic.
You should take some time off and find out who you are and what you like to do. Try to find out your purpose and your goals in life.
If you are not happy and satisfied with yourself it will affect your mental health and your relationship too.
When you are glad and you can do the things you are passionate about; you can spread happiness among the people around you.
For personal development
When someone is too busy to make their relationship perfect they often forget to develop themself. You should focus on yourself too.
Spending some time alone with yourself can help you figure out your needs in life.
It can also help you to understand your thoughts and desires. If you can understand yourself in a better way it will help to apply your thoughts and imagination in reality.
When you are struggling with your emotions or your thoughts, taking space from your relationship can help you.
Wondering how? It will help to develop your ability to control your emotions and express them in the right way.
You can also learn something new that you like and develop your skills. These are things you will never be able to do if you are always busy with your relationship.
You need to take some time off for yourself and fulfill your needs and let yourself grow.
To make your relationship better
Whenever you are having some issues in your relationship and are unable to understand what to do; taking a small break can be a good idea.
Sometimes, struggling with unresolvable personal issues can have a negative effect on your relationship.
So, taking some time off will help you to think about why this is affecting your relationship. In the process, you might find ways to resolve it.
It will help you to understand what you want from your relationship. You will also be able to understand your partner’s needs.
You can think and figure out a way to grow your relationship and make it successful.
Space in your relationship will give you enough time to figure out the rights and wrongs that you are doing. You can also resolve all your conflicts with a clear mind.
Loss of interest in your relationship
Sometimes people lose interest in their relationship and they are unable to find the reasons behind it.
Taking a break from it can help you to think minutely. Figure out the reasons behind your lack of interest.
Once you identify the right reason, you will be able to evaluate if you can resolve it or not.
By spending some time with yourself you can think with a clear mind and take your next step.
You may have second thoughts about your relationship in some ways. You might also get attracted to someone else at some point in your life.
Some personal space can help you to think and understand your issues. Once your thoughts are clear you will be able to make the right choice for your future.
Spending some time away from your relationship and your partner can help realize their importance in your life.
Signs that you need a space in your relationship
Here are some signs that will help you to figure out if you need a break from your relationship or not.
If you are experiencing any of them you may take some time off to think and understand yourself.
1. Too much argument
If you are having too many arguments with your partner over little things that means you have a lot to figure out.
Everyone has arguments over different things with their partner but if the argument is for no specific reason then there may be something wrong.
If you are fighting over almost everything in your daily life that may be a sign for you to take some time off.
Sometimes you may displace your own frustration in your relationship and start an argument with your partner out of frustration.
You both can get angry with each other over different things daily sometimes, which can increase the distance between you two.
In certain situations, the wiser choice is to take some space from each other and figure things out.
Try to find out the reason behind your situation and the factors that are making you angry. If you can figure out the actual reasons behind those arguments it will be easier to find a solution.
It can help you to resolve all your issues and grow your bond with your partner.
2. You constantly need approval
If you constantly look for some approval from your partner every time you make a decision there are only two reasons that may be responsible for it.
Either your partner is very controlling in nature or you are lacking self-confidence in your life.
Both scenarios are not healthy for your relationship and you should take some time to figure things out.
If your partner is trying to control every decision you make, even the smaller ones, then it will be a problem in the long run.
With time this behavior will grow more and it can make you feel inferior and unhappy.
You should take a break from your relationship and try to figure out a way to make your partner understand you in a better way.
It is also possible that your partner is not at all controlling but you are seeking approval because you do not have much faith in yourself.
If you lack self-confidence, soon it will affect your personal life as well your relationship in a negative way.
You must try to know more about yourself and your thoughts. Apply different ways to increase your confidence level when you are spending time with yourself.
3. You get annoyed by your partner often
If you two get really annoyed with each other for something unimportant or silly there may be a problem in your relationship.
Certain little habits of your partner which did not bother you in the past can be annoying suddenly.
If you are struggling with something like this, it can affect your emotions and your feelings about almost everything.
You need to think and find out which is annoying you the most about your partner and talk to him/ her about it.
Sometimes people often avoid the things that bothered them during the first phase of their relationship.
With time their tolerance level decreases and creates conflicts in the relationship.
You should take some space and think about the habits of your partner that you do not like.
You should sit with your partner and talk about it if you want to sort things out and start fresh.
4. You do not enjoy each other’s company
If you both are really tired of each other and you do not enjoy each other’s company, you seriously need some time away from each other.
When you are with the same person all the time and you are following the same routine every day things can get really boring sometimes.
There may be some unresolved underlying issue that you were avoiding for a long time but that is really affecting your relationship.
If you are upset with your partner about something, it may affect your mood when you are spending time with him/ her.
5. You are not comfortable with each other in public
You may be in a relationship with someone and you are very happy together when you are behind closed doors. Whereas, you both do not like to show public appearances.
You avoid each other in front of other people and you do not prefer each other’s company when you are with someone else.
If you are with your friends or your family, you enjoy their company more than your partner. You feel that it is not a good idea to go to any public places together.
Either you are embarrassed by each other for some reason or you have a lot to think about to find out the reason behind this attitude.
6. You feel stressed in this relationship
If you are always stressed about your relationship or your partner then that is a really bad sign.
You may be tired of all your responsibilities in this relationship and you are worried about fulfilling them.
Everyone starts a new relationship with someone to spend their life peacefully.
You must be able to relax and have a peaceful and calm time with your partner without any worry after a hectic day.
If your relationship is also giving you stress for some reason you need to spend some time with yourself and find out the factors responsible.
It is very important to have a personal life separate from your relationship where you can think and resolve your issues calmly.
7. You feel no connection
When you are in a relationship for a very long time you may feel that there is no connection or no spark left between you and your partner.
You may not feel that excitement and that passion you felt at the beginning of your relationship.
You feel bored when you are with your partner. There is nothing to talk about or there is nothing you can do together and have fun.
This should be a big concern for you if you want to save your relationship with your partner.
In this situation, if you do not want things to get worse and you want to save this relationship, you should take some space from each other.
Spending time with yourself will help you to figure out a solution to your problems. It will also help you to understand the importance of your partner and bring back the spark.
8. You are losing yourself
If you feel that you are losing your individuality in your relationship you should find some time for yourself.
Sometimes when you are too occupied with everything in your life you may not get time for yourself.
The things you really enjoyed doing once, you are not able to do anymore for several reasons.
You do not put much effort into yourself and you feel that you are unable to express your true self in this relationship.
9. You wish to be single
Sometimes your relationship feels like a burden to you. You wish to be free from this relationship sometimes.
Do not avoid certain situations, take a break and think of the reasons behind your thoughts and your feelings.
If you are not happy in your relationship most of the time and you have a strong desire to break up with your partner, this can be a serious issue.
Avoiding these feelings can cause several complications and discomfort in your life soon.
10. There is no physical affection
Physical affection is a really important part of any romantic relationship with someone.
If you feel that there is no affection left between you and your partner, you have a lot to figure out.
You may not have shared any romantic moment with your partner in a long time and this is really something that you need to be worried about.
Try to think of the reasons that you both are not physically attracted to each other anymore.
These things can happen due to stress, workload, or any disagreements with your partner about something.
You should think about the reasons and try to fix the problem to have a healthy and happy relationship with your partner.
11. Communication gap
When you do not talk with your partner openly so many things remain unresolved, which can cause trouble in your relationship.
Communication is always the key to any problem no matter how complicated it is.
If you both are unable to talk to each other and discuss different things, it can be really problematic for your relationship.
You should find the issues you are facing while initiating any discussion with your partner and try to resolve them.
12. You feel attracted to someone else
If you are attracted to someone else all of a sudden there is something really wrong with your relationship.
If you are attracted to someone else, it may indicate that your affection towards your partner is fading away.
There is a difference between liking someone and getting attracted to someone.
If you like someone that may not be a big issue but if you are attracted to someone and want to spend time with them or get involved with them, there is a problem.
Try to figure out the reasons that can be responsible for your fading affection towards your partner.
It is possible you are looking for something else that your partner does not have and you are getting attracted to the people who are everything that you wish for.
13. Your partner does not get involved
Sometimes your partner does not pay much attention to your personal life and they do not prefer to get involved when you are doing something.
There may be some reasons which are responsible for your partner’s behavior.
If you do not want to get involved in everything that your partner is doing most of the time then try to figure out the possible reasons behind your lack of interest.
Getting involved in each other’s personal life, sharing your hobbies, and doing something together is really important for both of you to keep your relationship healthy.
It will help you both to grow together and be there for each other in difficult situations in your life.
14. Something is changed in your partner
Sometimes you may feel some changes in your partner.
Those changes can be good or bad but you need to figure out the reasons behind those changes and if they are good for your relationship or not.
If the change in your partner is bothering you and having a negative impact on your relationship you should pay more attention to it.
Take some time and talk to your partner about your concerns and try to find a way to solve your issue so that you can improve your relationship together.
15. You both have so many things on your plate
Sometimes you both may have multiple things on your plate and it can be really overwhelming for both of you to manage your professional and personal life together.
Too much pressure can fluctuate the balance in your life sometimes.
If you are in a certain situation your excessive stress level or your frustration can be displaced in your relationship.
If you both have so many things going on in your life, none of you will be able to understand each other and take the initiative to solve your issues.
In these situations, it is better to take some time off from each other and cool off your minds. It will help you to rethink your situation and understand each other.
How to maintain space in a relationship
Maintaining space in a relationship is a difficult thing to do. Here we are going to discuss a few steps that can help you to maintain the balance in your relationship.
Think and communicate
Communication can always solve any issues in your life. You should make some time for your partner and talk about different things that are going on in your life.
If you feel that there is something wrong in your relationship try to think and point out the important factors that you should talk about.
Talking to your partner will also help you both to open up and understand each other better.
Setting boundaries is very important to maintaining a healthy relationship. Everyone needs some personal space where no one else will try to enter without permission.
You both should fix some boundaries where you will have some space for yourself.
You both should have a clear idea about your need for space. When one of you is asking for some space to figure out several things the other person must respect the decision.
If you can set your own walls it will be easier for both of you to understand each other’s thoughts.
Before taking care of your partner, always take some time to think about yourself. You should find some time where you can do things that you love and want to do.
Pay more attention to your physical and mental health.
If you are not physically fit or if you are having some psychological or emotional issues this will definitely affect your relationship and your partner too.
If you feel that something is causing too much stress in your life try to resolve them before taking on more responsibilities.
Learn to give yourself priority most of the time. A calm mind and a healthy body are very important for a happy and satisfying life.
Arguments are very common in any relationship but if you know where to stop it will be easier for you to keep your relationship happy.
The moment you feel that your argument with your partner is getting intense, take a break to cool your mind.
When someone is angry and in the middle of an argument the focus of that person shifts from resolving the issue to winning the argument.
And the desire to win the argument can sometimes force you to do or say something that you can regret after.
Once you both are calm and cool down you both will be able to think about your problems. You can sit down and talk to your partner and resolve all your problems together.
Some people love their personal space and do not want anyone to interfere. If your partner is not ready for a cuddle and they want some time alone try to respect their decision.
If your partner has chosen one side of the bed and does not want any physical touch for some time, try to maintain the distance.
It can help you both to relax and have a peaceful sleep after a long day.
Do your work separately
Sometimes you can communicate without talking to each other.
If you both feel that you need some space from your partner and you are not on talking terms, you can do your part of the work separately.
Some people may not have any other place to go even if they want some space from their partner. If you are one of these people you can have your space at the same house too.
You can lock yourself in a room and enjoy your own company, watch a movie, read your favorite novel, or do the things you really like.
Make your need to spend some time alone, very clear to your partner so that you can enjoy your time without any disturbance.
Respect each other
Respecting your partner is one of the most important things in a healthy relationship.
If you think that your respect for your partner is being compromised for some reason, take some time off and think about all the possible reasons.
Try to think of the situation from a different angle so that you can understand what your partner is thinking.
Do not judge your partner instantly if you are having a disagreement with them.
If you show disrespect to your partner they will lose their respect for you too.
If you do not have respect for each other in a relationship you will never be able to cope with each other and make each other happy.
If your partner is doing something alone and they do not want your involvement all the time, try to respect their decisions. Some people prefer a little alone time away from everyone in their life.
If you feel uncomfortable with something like this, try to talk to your partner about your feelings without disrespecting them and figure things out together.
Make some personal hobby
You should find something that you like to do alone. Sometimes you should give some importance to yourself and find something that you are passionate about.
Sometimes both of you need some time away from each other. If you have some personal hobbies it will be easier to give that space to each other.
If your partner is an introverted kind of person they will prefer to spend some time alone in their life.
When you are unable to cope with that it can be really problematic for you and this can cause an imbalance in your life.
If you find some new hobbies for yourself it can be easier for you to spend that time alone when your partner is asking for some space in your relationship.
This will be beneficial for you as well and this will help you to grow yourself.
Do not keep secrets
Keeping things from each other can make your partner really insecure about different things and it can also make you two doubt each other.
Things should be really transparent between you and your partner in a relationship that can make everything easier.
Keeping something from your partner may raise different questions in their mind and they may misunderstand you for something unimportant.
If you two start doubting each other in every step it will affect the trust you have for each other.
Express your feelings
You should be able to express yourself when you are with your partner. You may experience some complicated emotions but holding them back will cause several issues.
Expressing yourself to your partner will help him/ her to understand yourself and sort out the things that are bothering you.
How much space in a relationship is normal
There is no specific time limit on how much space you should give your partner in a relationship.
It depends from person to person. Some people do not need much space in their relationship whereas some need more.
It depends on you and your partner and the situation you are in. You should think and try to understand your partner.
It will help you to figure out at what point you should stop and when you need to try harder.
The space should be long enough so that you can spread yourself and work on your thoughts and your personal abilities.
But it should be small enough so that no third person can enter between you and your partner.
How to ask for space in a relationship
When you are in a relationship with someone and you feel that you need some space from your partner you can just ask him/ her to sit down and talk.
Explain your reasons
You can try to make them understand the reason you feel that you need a space and the importance of it for your relationship.
It is very important to explain your reasons to avoid any further misunderstandings.
Clear all insecurities
While asking for space from your partner make sure that your partner does not have any insecurities in their mind.
You have to tell them in a way so that they do not misinterpret the space as a breakup from this relationship.
Be calm while talking
Do not let your anger come in your way while talking to your partner. Be careful about your comments so that you don’t hurt your partner’s feelings or freak him/ her out.
Choose your words carefully
Be very careful about your choice of words. Express what exactly you want to explore your individuality but tell them the love and care you have for them.
Your words should express what exactly you are trying to say.
Ask about their concerns
Ask them if they have any concerns about your needs and your decisions. Space can be a serious trigger for some people due to their past.
They may feel nervous and develop negative feelings about it. If your partner is one of them you have to be extra sensitive while talking about space with your partner.
Difference between needing space and breaking up
There is a big difference between taking some space and breaking up with your partner.
Taking some space from your relationship means spending some time away from your partner to figure something out.
If you are taking some space in your relationship that means you are still committed to your partner and vice versa.
It is something that can help you both to pay more attention to yourselves and grow individually.
Whereas break up means officially ending your relationship with your partner.
After a break up you will not get back to your partner and your partner has full liberty to get romantically or physically involved with anyone they want.
Having some space in a relationship is very much important to understand yourself and think about different things with a clear mind.
It also helps to understand your partner in a better way and grow your bond with your partner.
If you ever feel that your relationship is bothering you in some ways you should take some time off and think of a way to resolve your issues.
You should be very careful while talking to your partner about space.
Having some space should not be uncomfortable for anyone you are in a relationship with.
You should focus on the positive side of space in a relationship and work on your insecurities.
Remember, having a space is supposed to help you and your relationship grow, not to increase the distance between you and your partner.
At any point, if you start feeling trapped in a relationship, then find all about it, by reading this article!
Taneya has completed her post-graduation in Clinical Psychology. She has work experience at different NGOs and hospitals as a mental health worker and as an intern. She is very passionate about creativity and writing since her childhood. Her first poem was published in a well-known magazine at the age of ten. She actively writes short stories, poems, and long stories in different magazines and books. She is trained in Indian classical music. She is always eager to learn new things and explore new places. She loves to express her thoughts and feelings through creativity.