Does your partner call you a clingy girlfriend? Wondering why they never show you enough affection? Or do you think you’re dating one? Do you want her to understand your needs better?
Well, you reached the perfect place to find your answers! In this think-piece, you’ll know if you’re dating a clingy girlfriend or are one yourself.
Further, if you want to improve your relationship dynamics, I’ll help you both… whether you’re needy or not!
So, whichever role you play in the relationship, don’t go back too soon. At Least wait until you read this whole think-piece.
So, let’s set off to fine-tune your needs for affections here…
Clingy Girlfriend Meaning
Summary
A clingy girlfriend obsesses over her partner and fears they’ll break up with them. She might frequently invade her partner’s privacy for attention and affection.
When a girlfriend fears breaking up with her partner and obsesses over them to prevent that, that’s when she becomes clingy.
She might overthink, act possessively, and refuse to allow personal space in a relationship. Many men get turned off and push away such partners as they dislike invasion of personal space and privacy.
The fact that she is clingy doesn’t imply she’s bad. It may be because she feels insecure in the relationship. So, she seeks constant reassurance from her beau’s love, attention, and appreciation.
Sometimes, a girlfriend even becomes clingy and needy because her partner cheated on her, so she feels paranoid and wants to prevent it.
Are you worried that you’re becoming clingy and or your girlfriend is creeping into your personal space, a little too much? Let’s find out here…
Clingy girlfriend signs
Nobody can analyze their own behavior perfectly. In such situations, you might feel confused and hurt about your partner’s behavior… because you’re absolutely clueless about why they’re behaving this way.
That’s why I am here… to tell you all that you need to know to identify whether you’re being a clingy girlfriend or not.
NOTE
While I am talking to the girlfriend below, for the ones who are dating one, the signs still remain the same.
1. You just can’t allow them space
How long do you want to stay together with your partner? If you always want to be with him or always ask him to share his live location, you might be the clingy girlfriend.
When they don’t text you back, how do you feel? Do you become paranoid and throw a fit? Do you fear they’ll cheat on you whenever they’re out of sight?
Unless your partner has cheated on you before, your paranoia shows you’re clingy. You just can’t let them have their space because of your fears.
2. You keep calling him throughout the day
During the honeymoon phase, couples can’t stay a moment without invading one another’s space. But that’s not exactly clingy. It’s the desire to stay connected.
However, if you keep calling/testing him every alternate minute, that’s a sign of clingy behavior. For instance, if you text and call them even when you know they’re busy or resting, that’s a red flag.
3. You hope to be his everything
You and your partner may be in a serious, committed, long-term relationship, but you both have different lives. But you don’t understand that.
Do you always want to be his priority? Do you feel a compulsion to be the center of his life? Perhaps, you want him to set your picture as his phone wallpaper or ask him to keep a frame of you guys at his workplace.
If you want to stand out in his life and flaunt you as his girlfriend, it’s one of the signs of a clingy girlfriend.
4. You want him to be your hero
Men like to feel like they’re stronger than their partners. It boosts their ego and they feel good about themselves. So, men love it when their girls ask them to help out with something and they get to be the hero.
But do you play the damsel in distress knowingly and too frequently? Or, did you subconsciously become too dependent on him? Too much dependence can push away your partner and make them think you’re clingy.
If you’re unsure whether your dependence makes you clingy or not, paying attention to how frequently you project your needs and desires on the relationship will help.
5. You want to be the ONLY one he talks about
Do you want your partner to give you undivided attention? Do you hate it when they talk about anyone else?
Suppose an incident happened at their workplace and they want to share it with you. Do you hate that they share stories about others? Or, do you wish they must always think about you?
If yes, you might be a clingy partner. Understand that asking for excess attention isn’t healthy or normal.
Know that they want to equally invest time and attention in the relationship, but they want to share other aspects of their life too.
6. Overthinking and suspicions are regular for you
Did they ever cheat on you? If yes, then this sign doesn’t apply to you, so skip to the next one.
If they didn’t, then that’s an issue. Suppose, you’re sitting idle and your partner is off to get groceries. During such moments do you randomly overthink and get suspicious?
Further, do you even project the bitterness from the overthinking in the relationship?
Then you probably also ruin your supposed quality time with the negativity. This is one of the major warning signs of being clingy.
7. You think about him all day long
Is he on your mind 24/7? It’s your life and your mind, neither I, nor your partner has any influence over your thoughts. However, it means you’re spending less time on yourself and your growth.
Your daydreams stop you from leading a healthy life. It also affects your relationship with your friends and family and with yourself.
For instance, when you’re out with your loved ones, do you constantly think of what food he’ll like or what gifts you can get him? This is another sign of clinginess.
8. You feel a lack of security
Do you feel insecure in your relationship? Do you think you’re never their priority and that they may lose interest in you? Do you always feel anxious that they might find someone else better than you?
Or, you might even feel a compulsion to be better in all aspects to seem desirable to them. If any of these are true, you’re not just clingy. You might even be insecurely attached and need to seek an expert.
This can get in the way of building healthy relationships.
When your partner talks to another woman, how do you feel? Do you get jealous and fear they’ll leave you for them?
Or, when they attend a party all alone, do you feel resentful because they left you all alone?
Do you hate it when their female boss calls them about a project? Sometimes, do you try to get in their way so they cancel their plans to attend a party or disconnect the call faster?
Perhaps, you feel that you show your love this way but are actually clingy.
10. You treat him like your possession
Suppose your partner casually talks with a female friend, do you impulsively show off your possessive traits in front of a third party? Do you think you own them and try to show off you’re a loving couple?
Or, do you feel murderous intent towards the other girl? Then you’re possessive and obsessive about him which is a pressing red flag of clinginess.
You don’t want them to spend time with your partner at all. When you behave like that frequently, your partner will start feeling uncomfortable and might even show discontent towards you.
11. You’re always available for him
Do you specifically take off and clear your schedule when he’s available? Perhaps you share a calendar and hope to meet them on each of their free days.
Though that’s not an issue, if you’re too available, it’ll send them the wrong signals.
They’ll take you for granted and seek you at their convenience. The worst part is that they won’t even feel apologetic when they stand you up at the last moment.
So, if you’re ready to spend time with them whenever they demand and feel ready to cancel on your friends, you’re clingy… but you’re also in an unhealthy relationship.
12. You feel his love isn’t adequate
How many times a day do you ask your partner if they love you? Do you constantly call and text them to make sure they say “I love you”? Do you get them many items as a gift to test if they’ll reciprocate similarly?
When they don’t respond the way you desire, what do you feel? Do you think they need to try harder to love you? Or, do you think their love isn’t true?
If you never tried to identify other love languages with your partner and judge their love based on your standards… that’s an alarming sign of being a clingy woman.
13. You suffer from low self-esteem
Do you feel your partner deserves someone much better? Perhaps, according to your standards, you feel they’re totally out of your league? Or, do you tell your friends that he’s too good for you?
If yes, then you have self-esteem issues and feel insecure because of it. Excessive self-doubt and self-deprecation are major signs of a clingy nature.
You always fear they’ll find someone better and leave you for good. You might even go out of your way to imitate the girls you believe they’ll desire.
How deeply do you stalk them on social media? Did you only check their posts and bio? Or did you also investigate the likes and comments on their posts?
If you always try to check for a pattern in their friends’ circle and figure out which girl has a crush on them, that’s a bit too far. Do you also stalk their close friends and family and try to know their importance in your partner’s life?
Every night if you lose sleep over such research work, you’re in big trouble. You’re clingy and obsessive about their life.
15. You pressure him for the grand introduction
If you want to meet your partner’s close circle and mingle with them, it’s no biggie.
In fact, every girlfriend wants to know what their partner is like to their parents. You also want to make an impression on them, so they accept you wholeheartedly.
However, you can’t force such relationship milestones in the early stages of your relationship. If they tell you they’re not ready but you can’t stop badgering them, that’s another sign of clinginess.
Consider asking your friends about when they introduced their partner to their parents and vice versa.
16. You wanna tag along almost always
Do you want to tag along in all of their plans? Do you feel that it’s a given that you both will ALWAYS attend parties together, even when you’re not invited?
This might overwhelm your partner and force them to take space.
Or, suppose they have a school reunion, do you show up uninvited? Of course, you desire to spend more time with them, but did you consider if they’ll feel comfortable?
If you show up uninvited, you’re more than just clingy. Your partner may feel you want to control them and limit who they communicate with, or you have trust issues.
17. You don’t have many friends or interests
When was the last time you hung out with your friends or family? Sometimes, your and your folks’ schedules may not match and it takes months until you see them again.
If this sounds familiar, then when did you last indulge in activity only you liked… not your partner? If you can’t remember that, your situation is pretty dire.
Your clingy nature made you give up your social life and your interests for the sake of love. You don’t see that you alienated yourself from your world and depend on one person for all happiness.
18. You fine-tune your mood accordingly
You and your partner are two separate individuals with unique choices. The reality isn’t a fairytale where couples have identical interests. However, if you changed your interest to spend more time together, this shows how clingy you are.
For instance, you agree with everything your partner says. Even if they badmouth your favorite singer, you follow suit. If they usually like tacos, you start craving it… even if you never liked it earlier.
You try to bond with your partner at the expense of your feelings and perceptions which is never healthy.
19. You can’t keep your hands off
Clingy girlfriends feel so insecure that they feel a compulsion to publicly show they’re someone’s girlfriend. If you regularly show PDA in your relationship, it’s not that bad.
However, when your partner doesn’t like it but you still get all touchy-feely with them, that’s a red flag. Your actions literally push them to the edge and force them to whine “Why is she so clingy?”
They make you feel they hate you touching them and the misunderstandings turn into full-blown fights.
20. You wanna plan their days off
Do you always plan for your partner’s leisurely hours? If you always choose activities that include you and never let your partner take charge of their time, they’ll feel forced.
Though you might be just hyper-excited about your date night plans, they might perceive it as controlling nature. So, if you make plans for them without their permission, that’s definitely clingy.
Further, if they need your permission and make sure that you don’t hope for anything on free days, that’s a major red flag for your situation.
21. You withhold affection when things go wrong
Suppose you secretly planned your partner’s holiday. However, they told you they have other plans and want to push your plans for later.
How do you react to it? Do you give them the cold shoulder every time they don’t follow your wishes? If you cause such emotional distress to your partner, you’re clingy and manipulative.
You indirectly make them do what you like and avoid what you don’t. This isn’t a sign of a good relationship and you must reflect on your actions.
22. He often asks for space
Until now did they ever ask you for space? How many times did that happen? Do you text, call, or talk to them even when they’re busy or distressed?
If it happens often, that means you frequently invade their space… even when they need some.
However, it isn’t as straightforward to ask for space. Your partner may not verbally express it to you, but instead, they’ll resent you for not understanding their feelings.
Your worst nightmare of them leaving you might turn true if you don’t notice such signs quickly. This is a clear sign of clinginess in relationships.
23. You test him with a negative statement
Do you intentionally put yourself down to gain attention? Do you pretend to be down and want them to pull you up? Do you regularly seek compliments with statements like “I look so out of shape”?
You use your insecurities to force them into complimenting you. They’ll play right into your game, but is it their genuine feelings? Mostly it’s not and they secretly hate your self-esteem issues.
This clingy behavior sign pushes your partner away from you. Nobody wants to be around someone with so much negativity and self-esteem issues.
24. You hope they’ll do something out-of-the-world romantic
What’s a romantic gesture for you? Do you want a shower of “I love you” and “I miss you” texts? Or, do you want them to spend extravagantly on you?
Or, maybe do you think true love is when your partner refuses others to spend time with you?
A warped perception about romance and love and hope to feel special to them is also another sign of being clingy. If spending less time when they’re busy is a dealbreaker for you, think again.
25. You force them to listen
It’s a great idea to share what happened throughout your day with your partner. However, are they ready or available whenever you share your thoughts?
If your partner is tired and mentioned they want to sleep, but you still continued your ramble… that’s clingy and inconsiderate.
They can hardly keep their eyes open, and forget about listening. If they don’t remember you telling them something important, you might misunderstand them and feel resentful.
They might not protest against your behavior now but they’ll eventually let it all out and it won’t be a pretty sight.
26. You hate it when he’s with friends and family
When he’s out with his friends and family, do you also feel jealous about that? Perhaps they’ll go for a vacation with their family, do you hate that they prioritize family over you?
Or, they have a night out with friends, do you hate that they won’t spend the night with you? Do you feel anxious that they’ll meet someone behind your back?
Perhaps, you’re afraid their friends will encourage them to cheat on you?
If these sum up your feelings, you’re way past just clingy. You’re doubtful of your partner and won’t allow them to have their own life.
27. You hardly remember being loved
When you’re alone and your partner is out partying with others, do you remember the old times? What do you mainly reminisce about? In your memories, is it always you doing everything for them?
Do you hardly remember your partner sacrificing for you? Do you feel you always reached out and supported them while they did nothing for you? Do you think that you’ve invested a lot more in your relationship than them?
If yes, then you’re definitely clingy. Some women experience such one-sided relationships, but they feel this way 24/7. However, being clingy, you’ll paint your partner evil only when they don’t abide by your wishes.
28. You love showing off your relationship online
How frequently do you post on social media about your relationship? Do you post every single thing about your relationship on Facebook? Or, do you spam your bae’s wall about your likes?
When you update everything online, you actually want to monopolize your partner there. You want the women in their friend list to be aware of your presence and position in their life.
Your silent warnings to other potential dates on social media say a lot about your clingy nature.
29. You frequently fight over petty things
Usually, do you fight over meager issues with your partner? Are these usually about your feelings towards one another and your relationship?
If you force them to feel a certain way and they can’t connect with you, they’ll feel restless and get annoyed. When they can’t reciprocate similar forms of love, you feel hurt and don’t talk for days.
If you accuse them of not loving you because they won’t behave like you, you’re clingy on a different level and must snap back to reality ASAP.
30. You can’t keep the relationship private
Not everything in your relationship is for the public. However, if you spill all the little details to your friends regarding dirty fights, your partner’s dark secrets and fears, how long they last in bed, and how deep/long your partner is… you’re breaking their trust.
This shows that you’re so clingy that you think you own your partner. Though you may think it’s not an issue because that’s your BFF and they don’t mean harm, it hurts your partner.
Even if you keep it a secret from your partner, other signs of your clingy and possessive nature will break free.
When your relationship isn’t even a month old, you want to know everything about their life starting from their friends. It’s normal to connect with their friends eventually.
However, if you send all of their friends connection requests on all social media you use, that feels a bit creepily clingy. This shows you’re in a hurry for their validation and acceptance.
Their friends will also talk amongst themselves and conclude that you want to land your partner’s good books soon, so you’re playing games.
32. You think everyone’s a bad influence on him
If you stop them from socializing because they have bad friends, who are you bluffing? Every time they want to go out with their friends and colleagues, you stop them because you feel they’ll urge them to cheat.
If you think everyone around them wants you out of their life, it’s a sign of your insecurities. They probably don’t mean any harm at all.
It shows you want to cling to them alone while they push off their buddies. If they have bad influences, let them learn from their mistakes.
33. You feel the relationship is too imperfect
No relationship is ever perfect… flaws always exist and the partners still make it work through the differences. If you think the relationship is bad, just walk out.
However, if you always try to find faults with your partner and ask them to change, that’s controlling behavior. They’ll never change and will rather label you clingy and needy.
Be honest about your feelings and express your exact concerns. Your frustrations will only push them further.
34. You question about their online friends
Whenever you see a new comment or like from potential dates, do you feel threatened? If you don’t know the other person, do you feel anxious that your partner is cheating on you?
If you shoot them questions the very moment or demand to check their DMs, that’s a clear sign you’re clingy.
To compete with this random person, you might even stalk your partner’s 10-year-old posts and comment there to show you mean more to them.
You feel you’re confessing your love with such actions, but you only annoy your partner with endless notifications.
35. You think their exes are threats
Do you feel all of their exes want to hurt or replace you? Do you randomly badmouth their ex just to check if they’ll defend her? Of course, if they do, you assume they still have feelings for them.
Or, do you stalk their exes and demand them to compare you with them? Do you ask weird questions like who’s a better kisser and who loved them more?
You might even see influencers making “cute” videos out of such random questions, but it’s not even cute or romantic. Rather it shows how clingy you are and you must get over it quickly.
Still wasn’t able to reach the conclusion? Here’s a quick quiz that’ll help you through it.
Am I a clingy girlfriend quiz?
I understand you’re short on time or you really can’t afford to scroll through pages of signs to understand yourself.
If you want a shortcut to your answer, I don’t blame you… that’s just the way we’re wired. So, take this test and compare your feelings.
1. Do you feel jealous when your partner goes out without you?
A. I feel hurt. It won’t hurt to include me.
B. Not really… but sometimes I hope they’d ask me too.
C. Nope… that’s the perfect moment I get to spend with my friends.
2. Do you feel your partner ignores you intentionally when they don’t respond to you?
A. Totally!
B. Maybe, sometimes…
C. Never, they’re probably busy.
3. Do you ask too many questions about their night out?
A. Of course… they owe me that much if they can’t include me.
B. Usually no, but sometimes I have this feeling to pry in.
C. They can take their time… it’s all good.
4. Do you check in lots when they go out?
A. Yeah, I drop a few texts and calls to know if they’re okay.
B. Only when they drink to inquire if they need me to drive.
C. Not really, they can reach out if they need.
5. Do you drop by their friends’ hangout often just to be sure?
A. A lot of times… I mean it must be a pleasant surprise!
B. I feel this urge but I don’t act on it.
C. No, but if they or their friends invite me, I will.
6. Do you always prioritize their happiness at your own expense?
A. Of course they’re my destiny.
B. Not always, but sometimes they need me more.
C. I don’t know, I think I’m always happy.
7. Do you spend time only with your partner and ignore your folks and interests?
A. Always!
B. Sometimes I want to ignore everything and be with them.
C. I take care of my business when I must.
8. Do you send streaks of texts when they don’t reply?
A. Yes, until they don’t reply.
B. Usually not, but only when I’m extremely worried for legit reasons.
C. No, they can get back to me in their sweet time.
9. When they delay their reply, what do you think?
A. I overthink that they’re mad or something bad happened to them.
B. I worry if they don’t reply if it’s more than 30 minutes since my text.
C. No, I know they’re busy.
10. Does your partner ask for space whenever you text them?
A. Yeah, they always say they’re busy.
B. They did, initially, but I learned it.
C. They never said anything like this.
If you mostly answered A’s
You’re completely clingy and you must change your behavior to protect your relationship. Try to be more understanding of your partner.
If you mostly answered B’s
You’re not seriously clingy, but you have slight traits. Try to address these traits before you harm your relationship.
If you mostly answered C’s
You’re not clingy at all and you focus on your life when you need to. You’re in a healthy relationship and allow your partner plenty of space.
Did you find you’re a clingy girlfriend? Can’t wait to change yourself? Well, let’s fight your inner demons here…
How to stop being a clingy girlfriend?
If you’ve related to only a few signs on the list, it’s still advisable to gain control of your “clingy” behavior. Otherwise, your partner might get fed up with you and it’ll cause problems in your relationship.
So, if you’re ready to make changes, I’m glad to help you here…
1. Stop the oversharing
If you always text them first and belch out every single info of your life, stop that right away. If they don’t ask you anything, don’t overshare. Don’t text or call them so regularly.
If you’re apart, wait until they contact you and tell them deeper details only when they ask you.
2. Enjoy your life on your terms
Take your time off to enjoy yourself with your friends and family. Go on vacations with these loved ones. If you’re passionate about anything, work on that. Don’t expect them to join you for love.
Do something for yourself and not for them. Even if it’s something important in your life, independently handle it and it’ll impress your partner.
3. Allow them space during busy hours
When they’re busy, don’t feel frustrated. They’ll be done with their work faster if you don’t push them.
They’ll also initiate a conversation as your actions will amaze them. Remember that when they ask for space, it’s mostly not your fault. Even when they’re overburdened with work, they love you.
4. Learn to be independent
Don’t ask for their opinions about everything in your life. Sure, they’re your partner and have a say in everything, but if they don’t appreciate it, then keep yourself mysterious.
Try to decide for yourself with your gut feelings. Otherwise, seek your friends and family for better opinions. They’ll miss you when you carry on with your life all by yourself.
5. Allow them the freedom
For a clingy person, allowing their partner to be independent is a huge challenge. After all, you always feel insecure about them leaving you or finding someone better.
However, if they really love you, set them free to understand that they’ll never leave you. Instead, this will make them fall for you head over heels.
6. Work on your insecurities
Understand that in some aspects someone will always be better than the other. However, that doesn’t mean you’re a bad match for your partner, so don’t be so hard on yourself.
Your partner is still with you because they believe you’re awesome, so have faith in their choice. If you’re worried about your appearances, success, or qualifications, don’t be because they’re not so superficial.
7. Communicate patiently
When you communicate with your partner through texts or through phone calls, take your time. Tell them one thing at a time and allow them to respond.
If they can’t receive your call or reply instantly, take a deep breath and calm your nerves. They aren’t cheating on you and are probably busy.
Don’t spam them with multiple texts and instead focus on something else.
8. Respect everyone’s boundaries
Suppose something worth gossiping about happened to an acquaintance, however, your partner may not appreciate it when you talk about others like that. If this is the case, then don’t involve them too much.
Similarly, if you know your partner’s secrets, respect them. Even if your BFF asks you about juicy news, set boundaries and maintain them.
9. Boost your self-esteem and rock that
Understand that you’re a hot mess. You deserve to be confident in everything you have. Try to work on your self-esteem issues. Know that you’re worthy of everything in life.
Even when your partner is hot, you’re sexy too. Believe in your capabilities and thrive for what you deserve.
10. Don’t give too much too early
Try to read him when you communicate with him. Do they really want more or are they annoyed? If you stop before you become overbearing, that’s the best idea.
However, it’s hard to understand how much attention they need. Don’t devote too early in the relationship.
This will prevent them from getting bored and from calling you clingy or needy. Rather, they’ll beg for your attention with time.
However, if you have a clingy girlfriend, you need a different approach, so let’s check it out here…
How to deal with a clingy girlfriend?
If you have a clingy girlfriend, you may ask her to follow the last approach. However, if she doesn’t accept that she’s clingy, you may aggravate the situation.
Initially, it’s better to keep it low and work it out on your own. So, follow a methodical approach like this…
1. Build healthy boundaries
To set boundaries in your relationship, use more “I” statements so she doesn’t assume you blame her for anything. Clearly express that having boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t love her.
Express when you can’t be available or when you want time off for yourself. If it’s not a long-term relationship, ground rules can help you.
2. Reflect on your behavior
Think again, is she really being unreasonable? Does she have no reason behind behaving clingy? Do you give her enough time? Spending less time with your partner can cause them to act a bit needy.
Do you really have pure intentions towards her? If you’re not really interested in her, you might hate it when she reaches out.
3. Push them for greater exposure
Encourage your partner to socialize more often and chase her dreams. Provide moral support to make them try new hobbies and meet people she lost touch with. Guide her to rekindle her passions.
If she talks about something that you won’t or can’t attend, try to sound enthusiastic and support them. To see you happy and supportive will show her that taking time apart isn’t as bad.
4. Respectfully ask for time
When you need space, stay respectful and loving. Tell her exactly why you’ll need some time away from her and that she didn’t anger you or that you won’t leave her.
She might throw a fit if she usually does, so use a gentle voice to convince her. Tell her that you’ll reach out as soon as you’re done and that she won’t always need to reach out herself.
5. Communicate without hurting her
When nothing really works, express that their clingy nature doesn’t help your relationship. However, don’t use words like clingy, needy, or dependent. These are really hurtful and can aggravate your situation.
Tell them that you want to focus on your life and want her to carry on with hers. Tell her that at the end of the day, you’ll always be her only.
6. Try to get rid of their insecurities
If she feels she’s in bad shape, feels her qualifications aren’t enough, or that you deserve better, show her you believe otherwise.
Listen to her when she speaks, care for her when she’s down, and take her out on dates in your time. Flaunt her to the world as your girlfriend proudly.
Even if you don’t confess to your lover 1000 times a day, do one thing that makes her swoon in love.
7. Don’t connect “clingy” with “bad”
Remember that a clingy girlfriend doesn’t mean she’s toxic. Women can be both clingy and toxic, but don’t assume that she’s too.
She might be clingy because of several reasons and she might not have any controlling or manipulative thoughts at all. So, don’t bail out the moment she shows signs of clinginess.
8. Compare your expectations
What do you expect from your relationship? Do you want to keep your relationship casual? Maybe she wants a serious relationship. Did you ever communicate your intentions from the relationship?
If you didn’t communicate about it to make sure you hold similar goals. It’ll save you both from heartbreak if you make sure of everything now.
9. Think if it’s worth it at all
When you try to save a relationship with a clingy girlfriend, sometimes things won’t smoothly work out. If you repeatedly try and fail, think if you want to commit to her on a long-term basis.
If you can’t imagine a future with her, what’s the point in saving the relationship? When she can’t fix her clingy nature and you can’t hope for a future together, the relationship might be unhealthy, so let go of it.
However, if you think other than her clingy nature, everything else works fine, try harder.
10. Seek a mental health professional
If you can’t handle her behavior patterns by yourself but want to make the relationship work, it’s time to take third-party help. She might have severe mental health problems and needs quick treatment.
Introduce her to a therapist and tell her there’s no shame in seeking help. Encourage her to get help soon and have a better relationship.
Do you find your girlfriend’s clinginess cute? Does it become an issue only when you need space? Well, follow me to solve the situation here…
How to borrow some space from your clingy girlfriend?
A girl’s clingy habits may not always be as bad. So, if you actually enjoy her habits but want her to stop while you’re busy, it’s understandable.
In that case, here’s how you can borrow some space from your goofball.
1. Put yourself in her shoes
Think about what concerns her in the relationship. Notice the relationship from her perspective. Replay what she complains about.
Does she need more time from you? Does she badmouth a particular friend or co-worker? What’s the root of insecurity in the relationship? If you can’t find it, ask what concerns her as you’re ready to fix it.
2. Spend quality time
Mostly such issues arise when couples can’t give one another enough time. Spending time with your friends and family is important but don’t forget about your girlfriend.
She, too, has quite a few expectations from you. Create a special screen-free time to spend with her daily. If she receives undivided attention, it can help her much better.
If you stay together, focus on your time together at the end of the day. If you don’t, call every night for around 15 minutes.
If your schedules don’t match throughout the week, compromise with weekend dates. If you live in different time zones, then have online dates at least once a week whenever possible.
3. Calm them with your reasons
When you’re in urgent need of space, ensure you don’t lose your mind. Of course, during dire times you can’t always keep your emotions in check. However, don’t lose touch with your empathetic side.
Choose your words calmly and tell her exactly why you want space from her. She might not react well, so don’t expect too much from her. Initially, she won’t handle you asking for space positively.
She might make a huge fuss out of it, but you must stick to your grounds with a sane mind.
4. Check for deeper issues
Sometimes the reason behind your girlfriend’s clingy nature might not be you. It can be something much deeper. So, if nothing works out, try to understand her past.
Ask her about her relationship with her parents, friends, and even previous partners.
If she was deprived of enough attention, abandoned, rejected scornfully, or even cheated by someone close, it might become a serious psychological issue.
Try to understand better but don’t treat her like she’s a test subject. If she wants to keep something private, don’t force her to share. Know these reasons as they can later help in the counseling.
5. Opt for couples counseling instead of individual ones
See a couples therapist to ensure if both of your attachment styles, love languages, or communication styles clash. You might gain major insight into what’s truly wrong in the relationship.
The therapist will even give you an outline on how to understand one another better. This can be a major game-changer if you both desire to sustain the relationship.
Do you feel you can’t work with this relationship? Want to leave for good? Don’t rush and follow this process…
How to break up with a clingy girlfriend?
If your girlfriend’s clinginess doesn’t change, you might feel claustrophobic in the relationship. In such situations, you might give up on her.
I’m deeply pained by the failure of your relationship, but make sure you don’t hurt her for the last time with these steps…
1. Choose to do it face-to-face
If you can meet her in person, break up somewhere around her place. Don’t break up over texts or calls unless you’re geographically so distant that you can’t make a trip to their city and return.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, either wait until you can visit them (don’t let them visit you and return with a broken heart) or do it over a video call.
Breakup conversations over phones and texts are extremely disrespectful and emotionally taxing, so they might disturb you later. To avoid further problems, meet up for a short while.
2. Don’t be brutally honest
She overwhelmed you and you just can’t take that kinda pressure. Noted. But this isn’t the best way to express your issues. This will scar her for life and she won’t want another relationship ever again.
Focus on deeper reasons like mismatching attachment styles, lifestyles, love languages, life perceptions, and so on. Though it might feel great to blow up, prevent any mishap.
If you’re not good with phrasing, then prepare a script beforehand. If she texted you too much, tell her that you can’t be as dedicated as she desires.
3. Focus on “I”s more
Put yourself in her position and think how it might feel to hear someone blaming you during a breakup conversation. It won’t feel good at all, so save her the blames and shames.
Use more “I” statements than “you”. Rephrase your sentences so that you can shift the blame and reasons behind the breakup. Say something like
“I don’t think we have the same intentions from the relationship. I’m not capable of as much devotion in the relationship as you.”
4. Don’t use vague statements
Since you want to break up, be straightforward like the statement in the last point with “so I want to break up.” Don’t imply that your partner has any chance of changing the situation.
If you say anything ambiguous, she won’t avoid this situation. She might bargain to bring you back into her life. Don’t let her waste her emotions and energy on an irreparable relationship.
5. Tell her that you both deserve happiness
Since she’s clingy, she’ll obviously find happiness in someone like her… someone that wants a relationship just like her and with similar energies.
Let her know that with simple phrases like “This sucks right now but when you’ll find someone like you, you’ll truly be happy.”
Focus on the idea that you’re the wrong person for one another.
6. Lend her an ear
She’ll hate this situation and will react. Allow her to speak so that she doesn’t feel this was a one-sided breakup. She’ll cry, scream, and curse… let her get it all out while you silently listen.
Don’t stop her or try to prove her wrong and listen to her ramble one last time. If she asks anything specific for closure, answer her honestly. However, don’t let her hurt you physically.
7. But don’t change your mind
At most, she’ll ask you to return by her side. She might beg, cry, and even try out self-harm. Be prepared for the worst-case situation and keep 911 on your speed dial.
However, whatever she does, don’t back off from your decision. Put yourself before her and focus on your life. Again, if she abuses you, you’re welcome to leave for home.
If you two shared a roof or pet, discuss who stays or keeps the pet. If you’ll leave, pack your bags before you begin the breakup convo. You may even drop off your belongings at your new place a few days prior.
Meanwhile, also withdraw your name from any lease and liabilities. Discuss the situation with your landlord to decide for the best.
Make sure you break every possible connection that might need you to return to their life or home.
9. Go no contact for good
Focus on a clean break and block them from all the possible platforms you were connected to.
Make your social media accounts private, so she can’t stalk you from her fake account or her friends’ accounts. More space will save you from being pestered.
However, she may try to contact you in some other ways. Never respond to her as she’ll get the wrong signals that way and try harder.
10. Alert your friends and family
She might even seek your friends and family to know about your life.
This isn’t healthy for either of you so give your friends a heads up that you’re done for good and they mustn’t forward any news from your life to hers. Ask them to ignore her attempts at reaching out if it’s about you.
Drop all of them a text like “I broke up with her, so if she asks you about me, ignore or block her. I hope she doesn’t harass you guys.”
If your idea about a clingy girlfriend is still cloudy, let’s clear the last few issues here…
FAQs
Some people might not mind having a clingy girlfriend while others cherish their personal space. Due to the varied preferences of unique individuals, you can’t clearly say whether a clingy girlfriend is bad or not.
Further, whether she’s responsible for her actions or it’s someone else, there’s no specific answer. However, let me clear up the fog a little…
A clingy girlfriend wants your attention 24/7 in any form like physical affection, text messages, calls, and plans in life when it’s only about you. She loses interest in all other aspects of her life which is unhealthy for her.
Further, it’s overwhelming for you due to the lack of space. And for the last time, needing space isn’t about being in less love. Though putting effort into your relationship and compromising is great, you also deserve time all to yourself.
So, even if being clingy sounds romantic, it’s never a good experience in the long run.
Usually, women become clingy because their partner doesn’t make them feel valued, appreciated, or loved. This makes them feel more insecure and they try to bind their partner strongly. A series of incidents take place and long before you realize it, a woman changes.
However, it might also be because of bad past relationships. If she got cheated on or her ex-partner broke her trust in any way, it might be the reason for her trust issues.
If she grew up around unreliable people, she probably always sought attention for security. She might project her past feelings on her partner this way. She might seek codependent relationships to feel better, but of course, that’s unhealthy.
With enough effort and time, you can identify whenever your clinginess activates. Ask your partner to know which signs you match with and tell them to report you whenever you act clingy.
Soon you’ll learn to stop being a clingy girlfriend and know when to stop. You must also learn to be self-sufficient in terms of love, appreciation, validation, and attention, so you won’t depend on your partner excessively.
In case you and your clingy ex-girlfriend are enrolled in the same college, are coworkers, or share a child, you can’t completely go no-contact.
Things definitely become tough when you gotta stay connected. However, you can’t afford to become outright rude unless they pester you unnecessarily and you don’t have a child involved.
If you have a child, create strict boundaries about when and why they can reach out to you. Ensure your child doesn’t get affected by the situation.
However, if you’re only coworkers or college mates, you can become stricter and avoid them for good unless it’s serious.
It really depends. If the partner likes space, a clingy girlfriend is a dealbreaker.
If the partner is also equally clingy, things might work out well. However, if both partners don’t understand the limits, they might later become resentful in their older years.
They’ll blame one another for their issues like how they lost contact with their friends and family or lost sight of their goals.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Whether you’re a clingy girlfriend or boyfriend or have one, remember the word clingy doesn’t rule anyone out as evil. However, when you call someone clingy, it damages the person’s soul.
So, if your partner behaves a certain way that seems “clingy”, handle it sensitively… even if you’re in a casual relationship.
Further, if you think your partner needs more attention or doesn’t pay you enough attention, try to communicate your needs without any hard feelings.
Give one another a fair chance and strive hard to make a successful relationship. Don’t give up too soon to save yourself from regrets down the lane.
