Are you thinking about how to break up with someone?
Perhaps, your relationship isn’t working out and you want the easiest way out of the chaos?
Well, many people ghost their partners and forget all about it – which isn’t the case for you and that’s why you found your way here.
Relationship coaches advise on preparing a solid plan before you get down to business and break free for a peaceful life. If you take the right steps, you’ll save yourself from many regrets later.
So, let me help you find the right way ahead.
How to break up with someone
You might still be in love with your partner or you might hate each other to the core. However, in either case, you can’t bypass the breakup process and disappear from their life out of the blue.
To break up from your relationship, you must follow some steps to respectfully and responsibly end things.
So below I have discussed some possible scenarios in relationships along with a step-by-step process to walk out of it without drama.
How to break up with someone you still love?
Even if you love him/her, you know it’s best to break up, and breaking up when you still love them dearly is the hardest.
Your partner might no longer love you or it may be your career getting in the way.
Despite the reasoning, you can break up peacefully if you…
1. Be empathetic towards your partner’s emotions
Your partner might not easily accept this decision in one go.
Perhaps, they don’t know that you planned to break up? Or, both of you knew, but they can’t accept it so soon.
Your partner might react in the obvious ways and you know how to handle that.
Since you still love your partner, you’ll still feel hurt.
But remember that you decided this because of legitimate reasons.
So don’t try to hold them back from throwing all the emotions in the world right at your face: anger, hurt, betrayal and so much more.
Their friends and family might attack you too, so brace yourself for it.
2.`Don’t neglect your feelings
A breakup is never easy, and if you love your partner, it’ll sting a lot more than you can imagine.
You helped your partner get rid of all the emotions, but what about yourself?
You’re not superhuman and need some love and healing after facing your partner’s wrath and from the past scars.
So let your close friends know that you’ll need their support through this hard time.
If you feel a surge of emotions, let it all out. Don’t think that “I made this decision, I must be happy”, or “Men don’t cry.”
It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.
3. Make Distance from your partner
To find a happy way ahead, it’s important to maintain the distance both physically and emotionally.
Don’t interact with your partner until and unless it’s an emergency.
You must define your emergency grounds beforehand, so ask a trusted friend to help you define them.
Why so? Because if you still love them, everything will look like an emergency to you. He/she was your priority at some point in time… old habits die hard!
Your children are valid reasons for communication, but…
“My car isn’t working, wish John was around.” Or, “I can’t make the omelet like her, I’ll ask her for the recipe.”
…both are excuses to see them once more.
4. Don’t delay the process
You set some clear rules but you don’t feel good and that’s a pretty normal response.
Obviously, you’ll crave their presence around you and have withdrawal symptoms like an addict.
You might see them at the reunion party and feel like interacting with them.
BUT, you mustn’t! You need a lot of time to get over them completely.
Suppose, you went over and had a casual conversation, then what? All the feelings will come rushing back at you… see where it’s going?
Your actions will hurt you in the long run because you’ll experience the same pain multiple times.
5. Forgive them for everything
You love your partner yet can’t help but break up, that explains enough about the situation.
If your partner left you with deep emotional scars, they might still haunt you mentally.
A lot of people will discuss their wrongs to ease your feelings, but the grudge won’t help you heal.
Rather, let this person’s sins washed away with them. You removed them from your life, so why hang onto the gruesome feelings?
If anything went wrong in your time together, forgive them. It’s time to move on physically and mentally because a wonderful life is waiting for you.
But it’s not always the love for your partner… Perhaps your circumstances are much more complicated because you live under the same roof and share a lot with them.
For that, you need to know…
How to break up with someone who lives together with you?
Perhaps you two live together and share many things with each other… the rent, the responsibility of a pet, or the nourishment of your children.
If you don’t have a healthy relationship anymore, it’s time to break up. So first…
1. Find a place to flee
No, that’s not your cue to leave behind your partner and run away overnight.
You lived together for a while and now this is your home… for you both.
But when it’s about break-up conversations, you must leave to give them some time and space. If you stay around…
Your partner might not understand the severity of the situation and take it as a joke,
Or, if your partner is violent, you won’t feel safe staying back.
For your safety, talk to a trusted friend beforehand and know if they have any safe place for you temporarily.
2. Discuss the roof sharing
Once your partner is calm and collected, it’s time to return and talk about who’ll stay and who’ll move out.
If only either of you pays for the roof or is the owner, then he/she stays.
Suppose your agreement includes complicated terms which don’t allow you to vacant the place, let your tenant know about the situation.
Come up with a solution with your tenant.
3. Who is the pet’s bestie?
If you both got a pet together, then there’s one question that might be lingering in both of your minds: who keeps the pet?
So, you may want to consider a few things before reaching a conclusion…
Who wanted the pet in the beginning?
Who among you both is the doggo more attached to?
Who can handle the responsibility of the pet better?
Do you love the pet or do you just want to get back at your partner?
You guys can also share the pet for alternate weeks if the pet wants both of you.
But unfortunately, if neither of you wants the pet, give away the poor thing to an animal shelter instead of depriving them of attention.
4. Treat children with sensitivity and honesty
If you both have children together or either of you does, take some time to talk to them. Don’t scar them, instead sit down and explain the situation.
You must not get into the dirty details of your collapsing relationship. Keep them away from the negative feelings.
Tell them that you won’t live together anymore but things will still remain the same.
If they prefer spending time with you both, tell them how to find a middle ground.
Your child might hate the situation or throw a tantrum, but that doesn’t mean you must give in to their impulses.
Also, don’t indulge in breakup discussions around the children.
5. Move out without keepsakes
If you’re the one moving out, wait until your partner is not at home. Avoid contact with them while moving out to escape confusion.
Your partner might get emotional to see you leaving for real and mess with your mind. Or, your personal feelings might get in the way while packing.
Also, you probably have a lot of things from him/her. You’ll surely reminisce about the old times while packing your belongings.
Even if the object means a lot to you, leave it behind. Don’t take a single gift from your partner because the emotions entangled with them will get in your way.
It’s one thing to break up with your partner when you’re so close but it’s entirely different when he/she is way beyond your reach.
You might hesitate to express your feelings, so let me teach you…
How to break up with someone in a long-distance relationship?
Although long-distance relationships are hard, you are still willing to place bets when you can’t think about anything but each other.
Only after you experience it for some time, do you understand how tough it might get.
Your partner might be alone on the other side of the globe, so be careful when you share the news. Do it in small steps like…
1. Send signals beforehand
If you feel your relationship isn’t working out, don’t lead them on.
For instance, if you can’t handle the stress of a long-distance relationship, don’t say “I love you”, “You’re the best”, or any other positive affirmations.
If you mindlessly use such positive affirmations, your partner won’t understand if anything is wrong.
Moreover, when you break up, they’ll remember the times you said you were happy with them.
They’ll feel “Everything was alright until yesterday, why does he/she not want me anymore?”
Your partner might not be able to handle a sudden blow of a break-up. So always speak your mind if something feels wrong.
2. Choose a “right” time
If your partner lives across the borders, you can’t always tell what they may be doing at the time. But, if you’re dating for a long time, you’ll have a rough idea about their schedule.
Don’t pick up a time when they’re in class or busy with work. A breakup isn’t the best thing in life so instead text them “Hey what are you up to right now?”
Or, “What’s your schedule today?”
If your partner is driving or is away for a business trip, they might lose their mind from a break-up conversation… and make some extreme decisions.
You don’t want to feel guilty about a mishap forever.
3. Don’t make a sloppy break
When your partner is away from you, you can either send them messages or call them. Remember that messages are your worst bet in this situation.
Don’t send a break-up text out of nowhere like “Hey, I don’t feel the same anymore. Let’s break up.”
Always break up over a phone call or a video call.
Text them, “Hey, I have something to talk to you about… you free this evening?”
Arrange a video call when both of you stay indoors because you don’t want the person you love bawling their eyes out in the street.
4. Never delay the break-up
If you guys will meet soon, you might feel like waiting until then to break up in person. After all, you can give each other better closure face to face than over a call.
If you are planning to travel, there’s no problem, you can break up and return.
However, if they come over, you’ll leave them all alone in an unknown place and they’ll travel back with a broken heart. You might endanger their life if you do that.
Also, they might plan to move into the same city to stay with you. Make your move before they make great changes in their current life… especially for you.
5. Be a good listener for one last time
Your partner might not accept your decision to break up over the phone immediately.
If your partner feels that you aren’t fair to them, but you have reasons… provide complete closure in this last call. Tell them what went wrong, what bothered you, and where it all started.
Don’t unknowingly become a villain in their life when you’re innocent.
Also, if you really did something wrong during your relationship, listen to their complaints this time. Let them take out all the negative feelings, apologize, and leave like real human beings.
However, if you’re dating an old ally because you thought you know each other the best… or you became great friends after this relationship, but you don’t see a romantic partner in them anymore, then read…
How to break up with someone and stay friends with them?
Whether romantic partners can be friends after a break-up or not depends on their relationship, not any formula.
Although you can treat your partner like a friend, your partner might not feel the same. Here’s what you can do if you really don’t want to lose them as a friend.
1. Break the word without drama
When you break up with this person, you mustn’t bring up any drama like
“You were always at fault”, “You ruined my life”, or “I can do better than you.”
These remarks leave a bad after-taste and minimize all chances of staying friends once you split up.
Share what actually went wrong like adults. But again, don’t say “I hate how you always do that so we can’t work out.”
Instead, say “We don’t match in many aspects, and it’s difficult to adjust, so breaking up is the best choice.”
Never leave them with negative emotions if you want to remain friends.
2. Seek help from friends
If you’re friends for a long time, you guys probably have mutual friends. Tell them about the current scenario and seek their advice on it.
Do they recommend staying friends after this break-up or not?
Your mutual friends can give you the best insight into such situations because they know you both as different individuals and not just as a couple.
They can tell if your partner will be comfortable returning to the old times or if they need more time.
Also, if they know, they can mentor both of you to find a proper way to end things.
They can find out if your partner also wanted a break-up, then you’ll have more chances of staying friends.
3. Spill your intentions to your partner
After your partner has enough time to cope with the situation, tell them how you want to stay friends even after you split.
If your partner cannot get over the romantic relationship, he/she might not agree to stay friends though.
After all, they’ll be reminded about everything once again when they see you and feel miserable about their situation.
Don’t push them if things don’t look well. However, if your partner agrees, don’t start meeting every alternate day. Give it time.
Your partner might say they are doing fine but may not be aware of their emotional health.
4. Retrieve your friendship anew
During your relationship, you two learned many things about each other. So, it might be hard for you both to view each other from a friend’s perspective.
For instance, couples touch each other a lot more than friends. But your partner might get flashbacks of the good days even from a fist bump after the break-up.
Although your partner might stay friends with you, your friendship won’t be the same as before.
Since you know lots of things about your partner, don’t mindlessly spill something a “friend” mustn’t know.
Build your friendship from the beginning where you two know each other minimally. Don’t remind them how much you know them.
5. Build new boundaries
Before you meet up with a friend or family, make sure you guys tell them that you’re no longer together to avoid an unnecessary embarrassing situation.
Enjoy a great time with everyone instead of monopolizing each other. Meet new people in the gatherings to expand your social circle.
Avoid any intimacy in the conversations to prevent any complications in your friendship.
Discuss with your ex about each other’s boundaries once you can talk comfortably and are ready to give your friendship another shot.
If you’re in a poly relationship and want to break up with one or multiple partners, learn…
How to break up with someone from a poly relationship?
Your poly relationship depends on more than one person’s feelings which makes it much harder to break up properly.
Ensure that you come out of it clean with these steps.
1. Talk to all of your partners
If you want to come out of your polyamorous relationship, talk it out with everyone in the relationship.
Whether you break up with only one of them or break up with the whole group, tell each of them what you’re about to do.
Don’t desert them out of thin air and expect them to be fine because “they have each other”.
The relationship began with all of you, so you owe an explanation to everyone before taking your leave.
If you break up with the whole bunch, you might consider telling them all together. However, if you want to break up with only one of them, talk to your partners individually.
2. Don’t speak negatively of the partner
If you break up with either of your partners, don’t spread negativity about your ex to your existing partners.
Avoid telling your other partners anything that might disturb the current scenario.
When you break up, you must get over them. So, don’t discuss your ex-partner with your existing or remaining partners.
They will think that you’re jealous or you indirectly want them to break up.
Get closure from your partner(s) and don’t mention them in your conversations.
Your other partners might be in an amicable relationship with that person, so don’t let your ill feelings be manifested onto them.
3. Avoid exchanging information
If your ex-partner made a mistake, it might be unintentional. Don’t give away your ex-partner’s exclusive information to your other partners.
Perhaps, out of all the partners, they trusted you the most and shared it with you.
You might be angry or disappointed at the ex-partner but that doesn’t allow you to discuss your partner’s confidential information to others.
This stands true in all kinds of relationships in this world.
If your other partners are still in contact with them don’t complicate their relationship unless that person intends to harm them. Keep the sensitive information to yourself.
4. Respect other partner’s decisions
Your other partners might not want to break up with your ex-partner, but it’s not a good idea to lose your calm over it.
Don’t feel sad if your other partners made a deep bond with your ex during this time, and still want to spend quality time with them.
Just as you fell out of love with that person, your other partner might still harbor feelings for them. Don’t pressurize your partner to break up because you did.
That’s not how a poly relationship works so respect their decisions about their life.
5. Seek a poly relationship therapist
If you’re in a poly relationship, you know that balancing is the key to success.
Poly relationships are more complicated than regular relationships because a lot of people feel differently. All of your partner’s opinions will differ about your breakup.
You and your partners must respect each other’s thoughts, but sometimes harmonizing seems tough because of changing relationships.
One partner might want both partners together who aren’t on good terms.
Seek poly relationship therapists near you if any complications arise in the group and you can’t handle the situation.
If your partner is abusive, it’s better to break up NOW. Here’s how you can safely break free from this toxic relationship.
How to break up with someone when your partner is abusive?
If your partner threatens to hurt or actually hurts you because of minor inconvenience, it’s a sign that your relationship collapsed completely.
Don’t stay any longer in this abusive relationship.
Also, he/she might abuse you when you try to break up, so backup with these steps to protect yourself
1. Seek help from loved ones
If your partner physically or mentally abuses you, don’t shy away from talking to your family members.
Suppose you eloped with your partner and can’t talk to your family, or you can’t contact them, seek a friend.
Tell them that you want to leave them and seek shelter from them. You can slowly move out your belongings and leave them behind if you need to move out overnight.
Don’t share any details about people who are helping you or the place where you may move out. He/she might hurt them behind your back to snatch away your last hope.
2. Prioritize your safety over closure
When you break up with an abusive partner, never do it alone. Ask a close person to accompany you if you must do it in person.
You can also do it near a police booth/station. If your partner tries to pull off anything, you can seek immediate help from the police.
Make sure it is somewhere with lots of people around to discourage any physical abuse. Also, keep a commute ready around that area so that you can run if he tries to harm you.
Or, just text or call them to break up!
Your partner didn’t respect you, so you don’t need to respect them or give them a reason in this situation.
3. Collect evidence of the abuse
Until you succeed in your plans, unfortunately, you’ll face this hell a bit longer. Hold on until then and make good use of your situation.
For instance, try recording your abuse incidents on your phone and send them to a faithful friend. You can also take pictures of the bruises as records.
If you can, make video journals and don’t forget to send them to some person as well as upload them to your cloud.
Your partner might lash out if he/she finds such content in your phone, so don’t keep them with you.
4. Move your children beforehand
If your children are too young to understand the situation, ask your parents to take them away on “vacation”.
Your situation silently traumatizes them, so keep them away. Also, if you want to flee someday, you’ll know your children are safe and sound.
Don’t talk to your children about your breakup if they are too young. If things reach your partner’s ears, he/she may harm you again and threaten your children as well.
If you can’t send away the children or they’re teens, talk to them about the situation. They might give you even better ideas about breaking up.
5. Don’t give up on yourself
Your abusive partner might also be manipulative and obsessive.
Once you leave successfully, he/she might apologize and promise you to change for the better. But can you really trust this person?
Even if you have nobody else on this entire planet and love your partner dearly, do you really want to return to that hell?
Think about the amount of time you’ve already invested in this person and how they treated you.
Will one “I’m sorry baby, I understood my mistakes” really erase all the bruises?
Or will his apologies erase your trauma?
You must stick to your goals if you want to survive. You might not get the chance to escape a second time so think carefully.
Although it’s easy to distance yourself from someone who hurt you, it might not be as easy when the person you love threatens to hurt themselves at the drop of a hat.
For your situation, learn…
How to break up with someone when they threaten to hurt themselves?
If your partner threatens to hurt themselves to avoid any break up topics, they might be playing with your mind. Perhaps you stayed back for their safety, but do not promise them to stay forever.
They might use your words against you so choose them carefully.
Follow these steps to walk out of this toxic relationship…
1. Clarify the situation to everyone
If your partner is mentally unstable and goes on the verge of hurting themselves to keep you, they might also tarnish your reputation.
Before they cause you trouble, share the word with your and your partner’s close ones.
If any day your partner commits something wrong and leaves a note that you’re responsible for the situation, you’ll face a hard time proving yourself innocent.
So, you can ensure your safety if you tell others about your current situation. You may also find some unexpected help from someone around you.
Make sure you don’t discuss this topic around your partner else the situation might go beyond repair.
2. Involve their close ones
If you know your partner’s friends and family, seek help from them. Tell them that you no longer love him/her but his/her self-harming tendencies worry you and hold you back from moving on.
Devise a plan with his/her loved ones about your breakup.
Remember, once you make a move, your partner’s family or friends can stay back and ensure their safety.
Their family and friends can support them to get over this phase safely and return to a normal lifestyle.
3. Don’t leave any belongings
If your partner can hurt themselves to keep you by their side, they possibly also obsess over you.
Before you break up, move your things slowly without their notice. If you gave them any presents or they held on to your belongings, get rid of them.
You might question “Why bother going through their things?”
Well, if your partner obsesses over you, they’ll also obsess over your belongings. Your belongings can get in the way of their recovery.
He/she might hold onto memories about an object beyond their family and friends’ awareness.
You’ll do a kind favor if you remove those objects.
4. Seek a mental health therapist
Encourage your partner to consult a therapist. Accompany them to the sessions and always talk to the expert after every session to track their recovery.
If your partner refuses to see any expert, you can either bring the expert to the residence or talk to them yourself.
You can involve your partner’s close ones if you don’t plan to stay throughout the recovery period.
If you or your partner’s close ones cannot handle the situation, call your local emergency helpline number.
5. Stay resolute in your decisions
If any situation comes when your partner or ex threatens you that he/she will hurt themselves if you don’t get back with them, you mustn’t give up on their impulses.
Tell them “I’ll consider calling 911 over getting back with you.”
This response is rude and hurtful, and your ex might still try pulling off a serious situation. But you mustn’t give in because of your emotions.
Remember that you did nothing wrong to receive such suicidal threats. Whether you get back with them or not, they’ll forever use it against you.
You are never responsible for someone else’s life choices. Even if something goes wrong, don’t let yourself drown in guilt.
If you’re still unsure, brush up on these…
20 Tips on How to Break Up with Someone
If you plan to break up, you’re definitely not feeling your best. So, to avoid any mistakes or mishaps and find the right way to break up, here are some tips.
1. Find a valid reason for breaking up
Before you tell them about breaking up, find a valid reason behind your change of heart.
Prepare the causes so that even if they try to manipulate you back into the relationship, you can stick to your grounds.
Your partner might also blame you for the situation, so you must have a clear mind before the discussion.
2. Break up face-to-face
If you don’t know each other too well, breaking up on texts is an option, but don’t ghost them.
However, if you were in a long-term relationship, you owe them a breakup in person and also closure.
But, if the other person is violent or your life is at stake, you’re free to do it over a phone call.
3. Choose a safe location
Your “safe location” for the breakup depends on your personality.
If they can’t handle emotional pressure or don’t have anybody to take care of them, they break up at or near their home.
You’ll save them from traveling with a heavy heart.
However, if they get violent, choose a busy public area to ensure your safety.
4. Don’t dilly-dally the breakup
You will hurt them with this breakup sooner or later, so better make it sooner.
If you thought holding them back even when you don’t have feelings will make them feel better, you’re wrong.
Rather, break up soon and set yourselves free for a new life. You can’t protect them in a loveless relationship either way.
5. Never choose special dates
Avoid their birthdays, graduation, anniversaries, or any other memorable day and the week before or after it.
They hold these days special to their heart, so don’t overwrite them with gruesome, dark memories.
Be considerate to them for the sake of your past relationship. Given the situations were reversed, even you won’t like reminiscing with your partner on your birthday.
6. Give heads-up from before
Hint on the breakup before you talk it out.
Don’t jump on the breakup conversation right away, instead, give them time to prepare themselves mentally.
You can send texts like “We need to talk about an important matter, you free this afternoon?”
Don’t make it sound like you’ll ask them out on a date.
7. Be truthful and honest
If you respect your partner, don’t cover the breakup with lies. Even if they’re at fault, don’t blame them throughout the conversation.
For instance, “You never understood my feelings” is a no-go.
Instead, “I can’t seem to convey my feelings to you well” is a better option.
Avoid blaming the person to end the talk sooner.
8. Be optimistic about the past
Although breakups are bitter, leave them on a good note. Speak fondly of the past to ease the blow on them.
Instead of saying “Dating you was the worst decision of my life”, say “I learned lots of things from our relationship, and I hope you’ll do better from now on.”
9. Avoid indirect break-ups
You’re wrong to think that asking for a break or some time apart from your partner will ease their pain.
Well, what if your partner thinks that you’ll return after a while?
You’ll move on to live a life while they are still in the middle, hanging. Don’t do that if you don’t mean to return.
10. Don’t leave the door open
Never send mixed signals when breaking up. Ensure that they understand that it’s really over for you two.
If they see a slight glimmer of hope to win your heart, they’ll give away everything in life for you.
Get rid of their misery with brutal honesty, so they can recover from this soon.
11. Don’t be rude unnecessarily
Whether they bawled their eyes out or screamed their lungs at you, don’t comment “Hey you’re overreacting.”
Or, “This is the reason we can’t be together.”
Even if they overreacted, allow them to get rid of the heavy emotions.
You don’t need to console them or promise to return, but don’t stop them from expressing their feelings.
12. Pick your lives apart
If you guys split, then don’t hold back with assets. For instance, if you lived together, move out. Or, if you had a joint account, figure out the splitting.
Even if you got gifts from them, consider returning them if it’s valuable or throws them out. Or, if you left belongings at their place, get them back.
13. Discuss no-contact and boundaries
Whether you want to stay in contact or not, it’s your call. Speak your mind about how you want things once you have discussed the situation.
Even though it’s your decision, remember that if you continue post-breakup contact, you might delay the emotional progress of getting over the relationship.
Your partner might “fall in love” with you even after a breakup so avoid that.
14. Expect guilt trips
You might think “I wished I cherished him/her more, then we wouldn’t end like this.”
You two were never perfect, nobody is. You’re bound to have regrets about your broken relationship and that’s fine.
Accept the regretful and remorseful feelings. Believe in yourself to get over them soon.
It will only make you a better person. Remember, every relationship teaches you something no matter how long it lasts.
15. Avoid breakup sex
Don’t give in if your partner told you to have sex for the last time.
Whether you feel bad for them or not, this won’t do either of you any good.
If you indulge in it once, they might think you still have feelings or request it once again in the future.
Since you broke up, what’s the point?
16. Prepare for some reactions
Your partner might say that they’ll change for the better but if you’re sure about your decision, don’t give in.
They might get extremely sad… give them enough space to weep their heart out.
If your partner is abusive, know you can’t stay in relationships out of fear. Confront the situation for one last time to save yourself from the lifetime trauma.
17. Don’t drink before the breakup
You might get some courage from drinking before you speak your mind but it’s not a great option.
If you show up drunk to this arrangement, your breakup conversation will go wrong and you’ll disrespect them with your attitude.
Avoid drinking to break up properly and discuss everything important for your new life apart.
18. Avoid any dramatic situation
You might feel that they turned your life hell, and you want to return the favor. In your mind wish them to rot in hell if that’s your style, but don’t express them.
Don’t create a scene while breaking up or vandalizing their apartment.
Rather, express your issues to someone at home and keep things private.
19. Seek loved ones’ help
Your loved ones will always notice whether your relationship makes a positive or negative impact on you.
When you’re unsure about your relationship, talk to a loved one about your concerns. They’ll share their perspective on this situation and you can have a better insight into your situation.
You’ll get a better grasp of the situation.
20. Prioritize your feelings
Your breakup may take a mental toll on you. You might feel that since you made the decision, you’ll be fine with the situation, but that’s not the case usually.
You faced many difficulties throughout the relationship that scarred you mentally.
Don’t disregard these mental scars, else they’ll linger in your mind as insecurities.
All that said and done.
Let me also tell you what you should NOT do during a breakup.
10 Things to Avoid during a breakup
I have told you everything that you must, may or want to do… but what about the things that you must avoid? Here’s a quick list.
1. Don’t spread rumors about them
If your partner scarred you emotionally or physically, you have every right to speak your mind once you get off the hook. But don’t share your opinions publicly.
Rather, talk to your loved ones privately to get the load off your chest.
You’ll save yourself from the gossip-mongrels if you keep your life to yourself.
2. Don’t update your relationship status
You might want to change your relationship status to single once you break up but control the urge of doing it. People don’t really care about your online relationship status.
Rather, hide your “in a relationship” status and change it to “single” to avoid the prying eyes.
Also, you’ll save your partner a lot of drama and prying eyes.
3. Don’t show unnecessary kindness
If you initiated the breakup, then your ex is still dealing with the blow. You might not know how hard they’re trying to get over the situation.
Whether you miss them or want to show kindness, you mustn’t contact them physically or virtually.
Avoid them even if you spot them in public and don’t text each other… at least not for a while.
4. Avoid any discussion about them
If any of your close ones bring up your ex’s topic but you don’t want to, speak your mind.
More specifically, if you have mutual friends, never talk about your relationship to avoid tension in the group.
Also, if you avoid such discussions, you can move on faster and recover sooner than expected.
5. Don’t share “relationship” posts
Once you break up, you might come across a lot of break-up posts on several social media channels. You start relating to the posts and then click on the share button.
Instead of moving on, you have rekindled your scars with more hurtful thoughts.
Even if the post seems relatable, you’ll just brood over the past and replay them in your mind.
6. Don’t follow them on social media
It doesn’t matter who initiated the breakup, unfriend or unfollow them from all the platforms.
You don’t need to share your drama when you don’t share your life. If either of you sees the other doing better after the breakup, the other one will hurt.
7. Block them from social media
If your ex hurt you and even after a breakup tries to connect with you over social media, block them.
When you see their name flash on your post’s reaction list or comment box, know that they’re insensitive.
Their sudden involvement might impact your coping mechanism, so remove them from your way.
8. Don’t stalk your ex
Whether it’s in person or virtually, stop stalking your ex.
Don’t show up out of the blue to know how they’re doing. If you want to pick up any forgotten item from their place, arrange a time beforehand.
Also, if you’re recovering from a breakup, don’t check their romantic relationships on social media.
9. Don’t ghost your partner
If your partner is not mentally stable, you probably considered escaping in the blink of an eye. But you better avoid it or they might take extreme decisions in your absence.
When you don’t feel safe breaking up in person, at least send a message to clarify the situation. Provide them closure with texts or calls.
10. Don’t hold grudges against them
You probably didn’t feel the best about your relationship and found more reason to badmouth them than not.
But once you break up with that person, what good will the bad memories do now?
Rather focus on your life ahead. Forgive their misdeed because you’ll do better without such negativity in your life.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Your breakup might not feel as good as the day you fell in love, and you might carry lots of emotional baggage with you, but that can’t stop you from leading a better future.
At some point, you might feel that your partner was everything to you. You might lose self-confidence and feel lost. These are some regular after-effects of a breakup.
If you care for yourself well and follow the small do’s and don’ts during and after the breakup, you’ll soon find yourself, AGAIN.
However, if things keep going downhill, don’t shy away from seeking help from an expert.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...