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Conflict in Relationships – Definition, Causes, Types, Patterns, How to Resolve, and Everything else

Conflict in Relationships – Definition, Causes, Types, Patterns, How to Resolve, and Everything else

Updated on Sep 12, 2023

Reviewed by Katina Tarver, MA (Mental Health and Wellness Counseling) , Life & Relationship Coach

Conflict in Relationships – Definition, Causes, Types, and Everything Else

You have seen almost all couples face conflict in relationships… well, for some, it’s an everyday routine… while others fight once in a blue moon.

So, does that mean they actually never fight? Is the latter better than the former?

No, not at all.

All couples face their ups and downs, and each of them has a different journey. But what really makes a difference is your ability to resolve the conflicts.

So, it doesn’t matter whether you fight every day or rarely. If both of you can look for ways to solve conflict healthily, that’s all that matters.

So, if you’re curious to know more, keep reading!

What are conflicts in relationships?

Conflict in relationships are arguments where both partners share their mismatched perspectives on a situation. They can either weaken or strengthen your romantic relationship, depending on your coping mechanisms.

We all have diverse personalities and views. Some see the world through rose-colored glasses, while others are realists… Some notice the best in every person, while others point out the worst.

Due to these differences, couples often disagree on many issues. When these issues aren’t handled maturely, it results in heated arguments. Simply, when you are not ready to understand each other’s point of view, it’s bound to hurt you both and invite hurtful fights.

Conflicts can occur for small issues like poor spending habits to big talks like “where is this relationship going?”  Every time, it’s always stressful and takes away moments from meaningful discussions.

But, remember, conflicts don’t always mean the relationship is weak or nearing a breakup. Conflicts also indicate that you are willing to fight the odds and make this relationship work. You know the problems and would work on them for your future. 

The only way you can make the relationship healthier is by knowing how the conflict made an impact on your relationship. But how do you do that? Let’s understand it more elaborately.

Is conflict good or bad for relationships?

There’s no right answer to this, it all depends on your relationship. If both of you aren’t willing to work on the problem together, even minor conflicts can bring major differences between both of you.

Everyone has flaws that their partner might dislike. But when partners don’t communicate their dislikes properly, issues arise.

So, the real question here is not whether the conflicts are good or bad for your relationship… it’s about whether both of you are emotionally mature to communicate those problems before it turns fatal.

Conflict is positive in a relationship only when it’s resolved maturely. But it doesn’t take much time to be toxic when you both are stubborn to stay at crossroads.

But how will you know what leads to a conflict? Are there some predefined reasons? Yes, so let’s reveal them here.

Causes of conflicts in relationships

Conflict always starts with small disagreements among the partners. This disagreement can be because of several reasons, including…

1. Need for power

In a relationship, both partners’ decisions must have equal contribution. You both must balance the relationship to grow happily. But when your partner wants to monopolize the power and control and act superior in the relationship, problems arise.

Even when they know that you both have equal rights, their ego doesn’t let them share the power with you, which leads to conflict.

2. Selfish desires

As much as selfish behavior hurts the relationship, selfless behavior can save it. So, instead of compromising, when you only prioritize your needs, it hampers the relationship harmony.

Your partner feels insecure if their needs aren’t given the same importance as yours. They feel that you just don’t care. And, in the long run, this feeling leads to conflict.

3. Constant criticism

Constant criticism always brings bad news in relationships. When your partner never praises your efforts but criticizes you, you will feel frustrated.

You act out of love, but they only focus on your mistakes. You feel depressed and raise your voice to shut down the negative comments.

4. Unfulfilled expectations

Everyone has their own love language, and when partners fail to understand that, it leads to cracks in the relationship.

Expecting love and care from your partner isn’t wrong but the real problem starts when you start obsessing over them. So, you both must have reasonable demands and expectations from each other and communicate about them effectively.

5. Mismatched values

Everyone has some cherished values. Some focus too much on financial stability while others put love ahead of everything.

So, you two might also have different opinions on a few things… which is okay. The problem starts when you are too stubborn to broaden your horizons about your partner’s values… or worse, talk negatively about them. This might annoy and hurt them in the long run.

6. Broken loyalty

Trust issues in a relationship is one of the main reasons behind the conflict. When you trust your partner a lot and share everything with them, you feel a deep-level intimacy.

But this feeling can be short-lived if you’ve ever caught them flirting with someone else or met their ex-partner at the back of you.

Further, these kinds of behaviors create unnecessary conflict from broken trust.

7. Nonsense conversations

Conflict also arises due to conversations without balanced and open communication.

If one of you tries to communicate, but the other shows no interest in the conversation, they get frustrated and lash out for no reason.

Your questions irritate them, and in no time, a discussion turns into a fight…

8. Resentment

Unlike other feelings, resentment isn’t as obvious as anger. Sometimes, none of you would know that the other resents you for several reasons.

Despite the reason, this leads to arguments because you don’t want to face their sarcasm anymore and demand answers. And since they don’t communicate, a conflict becomes the only viable option.

9. Different wants

Your perspective and living style might be different from your partner’s. You might be the clean freak while they are messy… if they like spontaneity, you like being organized.

Contrasting personalities can work out, but if one of you wants the other to be like them, it creates trouble. You both can feel depressed from the relationship because of your different needs, yet no way to sort it out.

10. Your own issues

Sometimes your relationship might be peaceful but you are full of red flags. Your insecurity and abandonment issues stir trouble in the relationship even when nothing is wrong.

It might be because you were hurt in the past and are scared of it happening again, so you fight whenever you can. You suspect their genuine efforts and question their loyalty.

This can truly hurt your partner’s feelings to an unimaginable extent. So it’s better to work on your issues to prevent any conflict.

Now that you know what causes conflicts, let’s dive a little deeper to understand different types of conflicts.

Types of Conflicts

Conflict never arises out of the blue. It’s usually because you both kept ignoring the small things until they became unbearable.

So, if you focus on underlying root causes, you can actually help yourself overcome them and improve your relationship. And to do that, you must first know about the different types of conflicts.

1. The one for finances

Most couples often have conflicts around finances. If both your spending and saving habits are ghastly apart, it is bound to create a rift.

The topic of conflict can be about impulsive spending that you or your partner has been making, poor saving skills, or even about different investment buckets.

2. The one with bad communication

Well, none of us can deny this – bad communication is the root to so many other issues.

It mostly happens when either of you has anger issues or are emotionally immature to handle relationship issues.

So, whenever you two get into a sensitive discussion, you both either end up arguing or leave it unresolved.

3. The one where insecurity plays the villain

Conflicts arising out of insecurity are common in unhealthy relationships.

These arguments arise only when one of you is insecure in the relationship. Either of you might text obsessively or call each other every hour just to “check-in.”

However, this insecurity may be because of the hurt faced in past relationships. So, it’s important that you first learn to deal with it or if it’s your partner, help them come to terms with it.

4. The ones with trust issues

Conflicts due to trust issues are probably the most toxic ones. It happens when either of you indulges in infidelity – emotionally or physically.

Other times, it’s because they experienced a bad relationship and are mentally affected.

This conflict is connected to fears of getting replaced or cheated on. So, if it’s the same with your relationship, it’s time that you do something about it.

5. The one with mismanaged household chores

This conflict occurs due to an imbalance of responsibilities for housework. When you do all household chores, and they’re ‘too busy’ at work (or vice versa), you have the right to be annoyed.

A relationship requires you both to handle equal responsibilities. So, it’s totally unfair if they expect you to take care of everything or if you expect them to manage all the chores alone.   

6. The one with personal intimacy struggles

Sometimes, issues might arise out of sexual desires…, and they result in silent treatment among partners.

Suppose you have a high sex drive, but they don’t. You might fake orgasms or sleep on the other side without after-play.

You feel more distant from your partner because you’re always left unsatisfied… Well, no matter how much you try to suppress it, it will come back into play in the form of conflicts.

7. The one where bad habits take the lead

Another type of conflict arises when the partners have a lot of bad habits… like bad hygiene, being prone to alcohol, or spending cash carelessly.

It’s not discussed enough but bad habits can really, like REALLY affect your relationship. This is because it shows that you aren’t ready to change for your partner. You would rather lose them than something that gives you momentary happiness.

So, if you don’t get your priorities straight, I assure you they will.

8. The one with commitment issues

Commitment issues have become a root cause of many conflicts in relationships. In this type of conflict, neither of you are not ready for the future.

You may love the relationship perks yet want to keep it casual. Naturally, it may hurt the other and cause conflicts amongst you both.

9. The one where they can’t be mature

Immature people can’t handle difficult emotions, which causes turmoil in the relationship. Well, immaturity is not just about certain comments or certain habits.

It brings emotional disturbances because the other person can’t tell right from wrong. They panic at the smallest inconveniences and lash out if you point out their mistakes.

This never brings a good outcome so it’s better to make the harder decision ASAP.

10. The one with problematic attachment styles

If your partner is just overly attached to you, or they’re too distant one day and obsessive the next day, they might have attachment issues.

These dynamic changes can confuse anyone and invite arguments in the relationship. But avoid fighting and take the wise step to move away from the relationship once and for all.

But conflicts aren’t just simple types. You can also identify them in different patterns. So, let’s learn more here…

Patterns of Conflicts

If it’s difficult for you to identify types, conflicts can also be identified into different patterns. You might see particular actions and behaviors which are often repeated and ultimately lead to conflicts. So, let’s see some of them:

1. The “I am always Right!”

This one is the most common noticeable pattern in every argument. Here, one or both of you have valid points to defend yourself, and nobody tries to let go of their ego. That does plenty of damage to the relationship.

In this situation, it’s best to drop the conversation and come back to it later. Talk again when you can think straight and deal with the conflict more sensibly.

2. The “I have a hidden agenda!”

This is when there’s a personal interest backing up the conflict. Maybe your partner wants to spend time alone or go out with friends but doesn’t want to tell you (or vice versa). So, they use previous arguments to maintain a distance.

This can destroy healthy relationships. If you or they want some alone time, convey that honestly, not with lies.

3. The “My pride comes first”

When either of you gives too much importance to their pride, it becomes a pattern and ultimately leads to an unhealthy relationship.

The best way out of this vicious circle is to talk it out. If you both value this relationship, you will change and if not, it is wise to walk out of it.

4. The “It’s all because of you”

This pattern includes the blame game. It starts when you constantly point out your partner’s negatives… so much that even they start listing your flaws… and then it’s a never-ending cycle.

This pattern is often really tough to break, but for the sake of this relationship, you must do it. Sit down, communicate with your partner and promise to each other that you’ll never dig the old wounds in future fights.

5. The “Everything must follow my plan”

Power issues are a big sign of a damaged relationship. When you both are reluctant to grow just to save your identity, your relationship bears the price.

Controlling behavior takes away the love and equality from the relationship. It makes the relationship feel like a deal which it isn’t.

So, if such negative traits are evident in your relations, seek help. There’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable, okay?

6. The “I know you *insert worst assumptions*”

The pattern is somewhere related to having a hidden agenda but only worse. This behavior occurs during fights where your partner realizes that your words are sensible, but they won’t accept the truth.

They make assumptions instead that you want to end the relationship or that you aren’t happy with them. In this case, don’t convince them otherwise or give in. Ask them to calm down and listen before making false judgments!

7. The “You flirt with others behind my back!”

Character attacks are also a common scene in flawed relationships. Here, your immature partner with toxic traits fails to have a sensible approach to conflicts.

Maybe you wanted to discuss their boundaries, but they attack your character for being friendly with the opposite gender.

Honestly, don’t try to change their mindset because they don’t respect you. Know your worth!

8. The “Listen to me or else…”

When your toxic partner realizes that you won’t give in, they resort to the worst option: threatening. This way they try to control you and the relationship.

While I hope things are not like this for you but if it is, call it quits right away!

9. The “I’m so much better and deserve better!”

Every partner roasts each other a bit to keep the fun alive. But when it turns into mockery, insults, or demeaning jokes in a public place, that’s a toxic pattern.

These offenses escalate quickly and hurt your feelings. Break this pattern by standing up for yourself. Ask them to stop respectfully… and walk out if they continue.

10. The “I did *this*, *this*, and *this*. It’s your turn now!”

When you both keep a count of all the good things that you do for the other, that marks the beginning of a toxic loop.

Stop this right away, otherwise, you two will never respect each other or their genuine efforts.

Different types and patterns of conflicts might bring different outcomes for every couple. It might make it better or worse. Let me tell you more.

What is the effect of conflict in relationships?

As mentioned before, conflicts bring both good and bad to your relationship. Of course, you are anxious about the negative consequences, but you are also curious about the positives. So, let’s know them all here… beginning with…

Negative effects

A lot of negativity starts flowing if the conflict isn’t acknowledged properly and partners resort to toxic patterns. And here are some ways it affects you.  

1. There can be health complications

Health issues are the most visible consequences of prolonged conflict in relationships. Contrary to popular belief, conflict affects partners mentally more than physically.

It can make you feel devoid of love which ultimately leads to several mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, loneliness, and attachment issues.

Yet, it is very difficult to diagnose the intensity of the impact because, most times, you’re not even aware of your feelings. And these emotions eventually become a part of the personality and make you absolutely incapable of handling the issues.

Some researchers have also found that if partners frequently experience conflicts in relationships, they show signs of weak immune systems. It also causes acne, hair fall, insomnia, obesity, fatigue, digestive issues, heart diseases, poor sexual performance, a decreased sense of self-worth, and depression.

2. You don’t feel satisfied anymore

Imagine a seesaw with more relationship conflicts on one side – the other side will have less satisfaction – leading to an imbalanced relationship.

Everyone desires affection in relationships, as it makes you feel home, but when negativity fills the space, satisfaction diminishes, and the bond becomes brittle.

Even if one of you makes an effort to revive the relationship, it’s a difficult task as conflicts take away the satisfaction and urge to sustain the relationship.

It changes the way you perceive yourself and your contribution to such bonds. From there, it’s not an easy journey to introduce love back into life again.

3. Pain feels physical

If you are a swiftie, I’m sure you’re nodding. If you aren’t, allow me to explain.

Suppose a toxic and immature partner threatens to gain control over the other. These threats, paired with violence or physical abuse, can trigger traumatic incidents… from where it can be impossible to come back.

One traumatic night can cause repeated mental pains as if your heart physically breaks up into pieces. Symptoms such as chest pain, breathing troubles, and bipolar disorder become common.

If you relate to these then it’s time you must seek professional help. Trust me, it’s better than crying to bed every night, pondering about their broken promises.

4. Confidence hits rock bottom

Constant conflicts also impact your self-worth. Even if you were the most popular person on the earth, you probably experienced a period of questionable self-worth… and that’s natural.

So, if your partner personally attacks these insecurities, you’ll writhe in pain. You lose your sanity and also hurt because they rip the band-aid and let the scars out in the open.

You experience the painful journey of healing and self-love again. You become less susceptible to falling in love again or trusting another person in the name of love.

You form a hard shell around yourself and force yourself to be detached, which is the worst thing anyone can do to another.

5. You lose interest

This is a subtle yet deep impact of relationship conflicts. If you and your partner constantly fight each other, obviously, none of you want to be physically close anymore.

This is because conflict impacts your emotional conditions, and you have different abilities to process emotions, possibly one of you is more vulnerable than the other.

If the conflict continues and your partner abandons you every time, this feeling takes up a permanent place inside the mind, calling itself depression. From there, you struggle to get out of the zone and find yourself again.

But not all conflicts bring negative consequences, some happen to make the relationship better than what it was. Surprised? Well, I’m not!

Positive effects

There are many positive outcomes of relationship conflict that can make both of you grow and accept difficult situations with sensibility and grace. Let’s check out how that happens!

1. There’s a newfound emotional intimacy

Relationship conflicts happen only due to one reason- misunderstanding. When you both fail to communicate or understand each other’s perspectives, loud voices and anger take the lead and drive your minds crazy.

But if you two love each other, you work on the issues, try to understand each other’s perspective, and eventually develop a bonding deeper than it was.

When you know that someone cares for your growth and is willing to fight for it, it induces a newfound emotional connection like never before.

You both realize the positive impact you have on each other and build a stronger foundation for the growth of a healthy relationship. Though hurtful at the moment, in the long term, the conflict brings out a better version of you both.

2. You start trusting each other more than ever before

It’s natural if you keep making mistakes, that’s just how a relationship works. But if you both always find your way back to each other, no matter how dirty the argument was, it will help you develop the kind of trust every healthy relationship desires.

You know that they don’t have a hidden agenda or toxic feelings… The conflicts are just because of the clash of opinions.

When you attend couples counseling and try to find your common ground, you trust that they will stand right beside you with all the support.

3. You develop new perspectives

Both of you have your perspectives in life, so you might feel uncomfortable accepting newer views.

But when you both want the best for your relationship… you will not just know about different POVs but will also accept them.

You will embrace the different versions of emotions and also approach situations neutrally, so you don’t hurt each other. You grow calmer and more empathetic towards different emotions.

You both find better conflict resolution strategies because now the goal shifts from being the right one to being the sensible one. And honestly, that’s when you attain the best phase in your relationship.

4. The boundaries you built are healthy

Conflicts also help to develop healthy boundaries between both of you. This is because, during the arguments, you both indirectly communicate your pet peeves to each other.  

It may not be the perfect way to deal with boundary issues but come on, which relationship is ever perfect?

5. You learn to prioritize the relationship

Conflicts are triggered because you both are humans and have some aspects that need work. And once you understand that, half the battle is already won.  

You realize how far you have come from the initial stage to this stage… and every time, they were standing right beside you.

You slowly appreciate that after so many fights and mental breakdowns, they haven’t left your side, and the overall satisfaction from the relationship improves.

So, the positive effects of conflicts exist… but it only depends on your willingness to work on each other and this relationship. Some partners tend to adopt certain habits that make a conflict worse. Here’s how.

What makes conflicts worse? – 10 Ways

Most times, it has been observed that the reason behind conflicts is really small but partners’ actions escalate the topic from a discussion to an argument. Such behaviors worsen the conflict, and things become hard to reverse.  

I’m sure you don’t want that for yourself… so read this section and make sure you don’t repeat it.

1. When one of you ignores conflict

Every relationship has small conflicts, and it is often necessary to help both of you realize certain things. But when you avoid conflict, the situation worsens.

If you chose to keep quiet because you don’t want another conflict, then let me tell you, you’re inviting bigger troubles. If you keep facing your struggles alone and suppressing the feelings, you will eventually “quiet-quit” your relationship.

…that is, you will neither complain about the situation, nor make any effort to resolve it.

2. When one of you acts defensive

Your conflict can only be resolved ONLY when you both are ready to accept your mistakes.  

If either of you refuses to do that, a small argument is bound to turn into a heated one. So, let your walls down and trust me, there’s no harm in saying “sorry” if it can save your relationship.

3. When one of you follows “my way or highway” approach

In a relationship, the conflict must be resolved in the right way, but everyone’s approach isn’t the same.

There are two ways to look at things: right/wrong, and your way.

When one of you wants to see only your own way instead of right or wrong, the situation gets intense. In the process of wanting to be the right one, you fail to see the actual truth, and the conflict brings a bad outcome.

4. When one of you uses ‘your fault’ speech

If in every small conflict, your partner criticizes or blames you for it, it’s a toxic trait. Even if it’s not your fault, they ultimately make everything about you.

They try to hide their own faults with baseless arguments and illogical excuses. No wonder the conflict gets worse.

5. When one of you calls out their personality

In a relationship, you both want respect and care without the labels of “needy” or “clingy.” But if, during the conflict, they bad mouth your qualities, it means they disrespect you, and that escalated argument is not your fault.

If your partner truly cares for you, they would never use such language to attack your insecurities.

6. When one of you doesn’t listen

Conflict becomes more complicated when it’s one-ended – that is, when one of you refuses to listen.

If your partner tries to convey their emotions and you dismiss them in the lieu of “not logical”, the conflict is bound to worsen. Understand that your partner is a human, and you need to empathize with their emotions.  

If you listen only to speak, you don’t understand their perspective and lose sight of finding a solution. Trust me, that never ends well.

7. When one of you takes it too casually

Another thing that makes a conflict worse without any reason is when a partner stays too casual during a fight.

They hardly put effort into understanding what you try to say and just brush it off any chance they can.

This behavior is extremely hurtful as it shows that they just don’t care and often adds on to the conflict.  

8. When one of you involves others

The worst thing you can do to your relationship when a conflict arises is involve others.

Nobody will entertain outsiders in their personal matters, and it’s not fair, either. You both know about each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and what it took you both to build this relationship… and when a third person opines without knowing any of this, it adds to the conflict.

9. When one of you have bad intentions

Conflict also happens when your partner has bad intentions. Maybe they’ll soon break up with you, or they want to send you on a guilt trip and end this relationship without taking any responsibility.

In this case, they might show unnecessary toxic patterns of conflict and escalate the discussion. They want you to react and lash out, so they are saved by humiliation and bad-mouthing.

10. When one of you won’t explore perspective

You need to understand that there are two people in this relationship, both of you, with your own perspective. And if you both deny seeing different perspectives, it will only add to the problems.

Conflict is a part of life… It depends on how you resolve it. Here are a few ways to help you do that.

How to resolve conflict in a relationship? – 20 ways

Conflicts are triggered because you two still love each other enough to point out the mistakes, flaws, and unfulfilled expectations. So, here’s how you can resolve them all.  

1. Point yourself out

This is the best way to change the course of a conflict from heated arguments to meaningful conversations.

Use sentences like ‘I hate when you don’t stay organized because it’s our home’ or ‘I would love it if we could divide some work.’

This phrase doesn’t sound like an accusation, and the focus shifts to making ‘we’ better through mutual efforts.

2. Don’t listen to respond

Most times, conflicts escalate because you listen to respond, so stop. Understand that as much as the fight hurts you, it affects your partner too.

They want you to know what hurts them, so you don’t do it again. So, instead of responding, listen to what they say to you.

3. Talk during happy hours

When the conflict happens, try not to let it escalate. No, I am not asking you to ignore it but you can always take a pause and come back when things are a bit calm.

Talk when you both are in a good mood. With this, you don’t get blinded by who’s wrong and who’s right. You see the truth together and work towards it. You also understand each other’s emotional condition and respect each other’s boundaries. Great, isn’t it?

4. Agree to disagree

Sometimes due to frustration, you might agree to all your partner’s demands because you just want to end the argument. But that’s not the correct way to resolve an issue.

Your partner will definitely feel happy when you agree with their choices, but that doesn’t mean you must stop talking about yourself.

Instead, talk to them politely about how that situation affects you and what are some changes you may desire in your partner.

I am sure when you don’t agree to agree, it will help you build your relationship in multiple ways.

5. Be empathetic

A conflict doesn’t mean everything in your relationship is over.

Try to understand the root cause of this conflict and your partner’s state of mind. There is a high chance that the conflict affects them just like you, if not more. Try to be empathetic towards each other’s emotional journey and ability to process emotions.

With this, you can see the issues beyond the conflict and eventually help each other overcome them.

6. Focus on the present

During conflicts, it’s normal to bring up each other’s past mistakes to dominate the conversation.

But for healthy conflict resolution, let the past go and focus on the current issue. Discuss how this, ONLY, this situation impacted you and how you can solve it.

Understand that the mistake cannot be reversed, but you both can make an effort to avoid repeating it.

7. Repeat the instance

Now, this can be a tricky business. Try to remain neutral and repeat the incident in your mind. Is your partner completely wrong?

If yes, then try to repeat the incident once again to them but this time, tell them how they might have handled the situation differently.

Don’t ramble about their wrong behavior. This will help them deal with the situation better and cause fewer problems for you both.

8. Start open communication

If something happens in your relationship that makes you feel unhappy or affects your mental health, communicate about it with your partner openly.

Express your thoughts and feelings and also ask them about theirs. This will help you build trust and allow you to find a common ground.

9. Be calm during the heated conversation

Relationships thrive when both partners give the same effort. They remember to never cross the line, no matter the situation, and you must do the same.

Don’t be aggressive while making tough conversations. Handle the situation calmly, and most importantly, listen!

10. See the root of the problem

Instead of sweating on the small stuff, dive deep and find the root causes that hurt your relationship. Possibly, you both want to make this relationship work but can’t understand why there are so many problems.

When you attempt to dig the roots, it can really help you to connect the dots and lead to the conflicts that happen every day. Further, it’ll also help you to find ways to cope with the emotion and invite positive vibes.

11. Find the middle ground

No relationship is perfect, but with mutual efforts, love, and care, it can come really close.

So, whenever you both get heads-on, remind yourself of the love and be ready to walk halfway. Remember, all healthy relationships require some compromises, or otherwise, you will both be standing on opposite ends while the relationships suffer silently.

12. Examine your thoughts

When you both think about yourself only, rather than focusing on your relationship, it marks the beginning of the end. So, try to examine your thoughts. Ask yourself why you feel this and if it’s totally legit.

When you process these thoughts, you become more aware of the situation and your mindset. Your thoughts become clearer, and you find a better way to handle the situation.

13. Ask positive questions

Like mentioned in the previous point, when you understand the problem but your partner is still fuming, it’s your responsibility to calm them down.

Ask them positive questions like ‘How do we make this better?’, or ‘How can we do it in a similar situation?’

With open-end questions, you get a better perspective of how both of you can work together to solve the turmoil in your relationship.

14. Learn to Accept!

Acceptance is the key to not only a healthy relationship but also a healthy life ahead. You both are different individuals, and to thrive in a relationship together, you need to accept that.

Don’t try to change your partner just because you’re not supportive of it. Of course, you must voice when things are moving in the wrong direction, but you can’t keep complaining about their personality.

15. Seek professional help

If at any point you think that your conflict has taken too much power in your relationship, don’t be shy to seek an expert to resolve it.

Experts help you to resolve the conflict from the roots and give you reasons to stay together. Remember, conflict affects your mental health and it might become one of the reasons why you can’t resolve them properly.

With a relationship expert, you will notice these issues clearly and approach them more neutrally.

16. Express your feelings

When you express that this argument hurts you too and want to work on this relationship, they will realize that behind that anger, there’s a soft heart that loves them just the same.  

It bridges the emotional gap between you both and is the best way to solve the conflict. You both will get back to each other stronger than ever and give it your all.

17. Approach directly

If they aren’t able to pick on the cues, sit down and approach the situation directly. Tell them what has been bothering you and what is the best way to solve it.

This approach will make them realize that you really want to help resolve the conflict and stay connected with them. They’ll also put efforts to improve the situation.

18. Effective communication never goes wrong

There’s absolutely nothing that healthy communication can’t solve.

If you both have been fighting day and night, there’s something seriously wrong with your communication skills. So, sit down, talk to each other and find out the faults.

Trust me, it will not only help you solve conflicts but also bring back the lost romance.

19. Forgive!

Sometimes, it’s just better to just forgive… and forget.

I know it’s easier said than done, but if you can swallow this hard pill, the world is yours. Try to understand that they are humans too, and it’s only natural for them to make mistakes.  

So just forgive them and remind them that you love them and will keep doing that. Trust me, it makes all the difference.

20. Show your soft side

Sometimes you must make some good gestures to make your relationship stronger than before. So, after you are done with the cries and hugs, make sure you do something nice for each other.

Bring breakfast in bed for them or eat your favorite food together. Small efforts like this make a big difference.

And hey, isn’t the smile on your partner’s face make everything worth it?

But of course, it’s not easy to be the great person and make things work. If you’re worried about dealing with the situation and your emotions, keep reading!

How to cope with conflicts in a relationship?

Be aware of your mental state and toxic patterns. If it gets too much, enroll in couples counseling sessions. If your partner doesn’t agree, go alone.

More often than not, conflicts are triggered because of either of your emotional and attachment issues or past toxic relationships.

So, how will you find healthy ways to cope with conflict, if you don’t know what healthy love is?

Start by figuring out if you have such issues. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Take time and understand how both of you turn toxic during such conversations.

If you need help, try couples counseling. Relationship experts will help both of you focus on your root problems and how to get rid of them.

Even if one of you doesn’t agree, go ahead and do it on your own. Therapists also provide individual help to understand your emotions, and responses during conflict and offer ways to deal with it effectively.

I promise it’ll be quite helpful to face every relationship in your life in the long run.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Conflicts and conflict resolutions are a part and parcel of every relationship. You can’t resist conflicts, but your efforts will help you solve them better.

Understand that it takes two people to make or break a relationship. So, trust each other and keep the faith. After all, all the love wasn’t for nothing!

Are you interested to know more about ‘Relationship Anarchy’ then click here?

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