Wondering how to boost romance in a relationship? Or, how to be more romantic? Think the romance is fading from your relationship?
Well, thank goodness you reached out because lack of romance is fatal to your relationship.
Also, congratulations on reaching this think-piece. Because I have all you need to know and do to bring back the lost romance.
If you want to be a romantic person, you’ll learn exactly what qualities you need in life. However, if you’re only afraid of losing romance, you’ll soon find your answers.
So, in this quest for romance, let’s set out right now…
…and I hope you become successful.
What is Romance in a Relationship?
Romance is an attraction couples feel while courting one another. It is a way to express love.
In a relationship, romance is the strong attraction one person feels for their object of affection. It usually refers to any individual’s courtship gestures.
People in love express their feelings of love and other emotions with romance.
Romance aka romantic love is a mutual connection between two people. With mutual romantic love, despite gender, two people become a couple.
Romance can be any gesture to make a couple feel more in love.
So, now that you know the definition, let’s find out…
Is romance necessary in a relationship?
Romance makes couples believe in one another’s devotion and commitment. It’s an exclusive form of love and makes you feel special. Without it, many relationships might fizzle out.
In couple relationships, romance is an important ingredient for happiness. In fact, it plays a big role in long-term and healthy relationships.
However, many partners don’t know about its importance. For the same reason, many long-term relationships and marriages lose the spark.
They often don’t feel loved and reminisce about the early stages of their relationships.
People can refrain from losing the spark if they understand the need for romance.
In relationships, romantic partners can keep one another interested. A romantic relationship never goes stale because of the sweet gestures.
Initially, when people fall in love, they put in more effort.
However, in a long-term relationship or even among married couples, lack of romance may result in a stand-stillness or even emotional breakdowns.
So, it’s necessary… but how much? If that’s on your mind, here’s your answer.
What is the importance of romance in a relationship?
Though many couples live together without romance, romance is a great deal in healthy relationships. Even an old couple indulges in pure romance and sets an example for youngsters.
Curious how romance creates magic? Follow this trail…
1. It communicates your feelings
Two people in a relationship have strong feelings for one another. However, how will you express it?
Only romance helps you in showing your love in a relationship. Romance sets apart relationships between couples and friends.
2. It impacts feelings of love
In a 2017 Statista Survey, 36/100 stated that without romance, there won’t be any love.
So, many people believe that romantic love is a necessity in relationships. It gives them a sense of security and confidence in the relationship.
3. It’s more important in long-term commitments
When a relationship grows, couples forget about the romantic component. They may love one another and stay loyal… However, lack of romance makes a relationship bland.
Also, there are more troubles in a growing relationship. Romance evens up the rough edges and helps relationships sail smoothly.
4. It strengthens your relationship
As mentioned, with romance you’re able to show your love, feel loved and confident… All of these help to strengthen your bond.
With the romantic factor, you can’t help but believe in your love more. The relationship feels strong and healthy. And your beliefs help you sustain the relationship.
5. It brings satisfaction in the equation
When couples treat one another right and show small romantic gestures, they feel loved. It embeds senses of contentment, fulfillment, joy, and other positive feelings.
So, it also aids a couple’s emotional and psychological satisfaction.
So you know about romance, but don’t know what being romantic means? Well, let’s check it out here…
What does it mean to be romantic?
Though romantic initially meant “something about Rome”, with its involvement in love stories, it links with passionate love. Being romantic means expressing your love with heart-melting actions.
Quite often people say “How romantic!” when we notice sweet gestures among couples. But do Romans have anything to do with it?
Well, the word romantic comes from “Romanicus” or “Romanus” (Latin). It implied “something about Rome or their style”.
Later, the French used the term “romanz” which meant something about the Roman vernacular.
It usually referred to vernacular literature about passion, knights, and nobility. Other times it also signified a kind of Latin speech.
This is the beginning of the term’s connection with love ballads.
So, being romantic implies showing your love, affection, and devotion to your partner. You express your passions with the smallest yet heart-touching deeds. It’s all about making your partner feel moved.
Nowadays, most people link romantic gestures with extravagant and expensive gestures, but money is only a small part of it.
Wondering then what’s actually being romantic? Let’s clear the confusion here…
Qualities of a romantic person in a relationship
Being a romantic is all about expressing your love at every chance life throws at you.
A romantic person prioritizes you, listens to you, loves you, is thoughtful, and is consistent with their actions. They don’t make romantic gestures when they’re in a good mood only. It’s in their personality.
Enough blabbering, let’s understand it better here…
Love, care, and adoration are the first few qualities in a romantic person. A romantic never loses a chance to express their love.
However, there are different love languages, so one person’s expression of love might differ from another.
Someone might indulge in physical intimacy like holding hands, another might serve their lover a cup of coffee. It’s more about the meaningful sweet gestures rather than grand expensive ones.
Two people in love won’t always have the same needs. Sometimes it might clash, but romantics are quite mindful even about the small differences.
They take care of their partner’s smallest needs… even if they must go out of their way. Their thoughtfulness moves their partner to tears or immense joy.
A romantic person never surprises others with random gifts. They make meaningful romantic gestures only for their lover. They express their loyalty and make their partner feel special.
It’s usually a sign of their lifetime commitment.
4. Big Gestures
Originally, the first introduction of romance was in love stories. A knight gives up his life for his beloved, travels past the seas to confess their love.
Modern romance still connects with such extravagant gestures. However, it’s not mandatory and depends on the taste of the couple.
It might be a love confession in front of a crowd or on a mountain top.
A romantic person might use sentimental terms to define their love. Terms like soulmates, fate, forever and after, all are fairy-tail-like and make you feel warm and fuzzy.
Though an unhealthy tendency, some people idealize their relationships and partners.
Sometimes, you only need an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on. So, being attentive and responding to your partner is another romantic quality.
Grand gestures are fine, but your heart might only yearn for your partner’s presence. And when that happens, you feel beyond content.
7. Emotional consistency
Also, romance isn’t a one-time thing. If you don’t nurture it regularly, it loses its meaning. So, emotional consistency throughout the year is a mandatory quality.
It can’t just be on birthdays, Christmas, or Valentine’s Day. Romantics show romance in their daily life… long story short, romance is a lifestyle for romantic people.
Whether it is a lifestyle or a personality trait, it still changes. Let’s know the real reason behind this unfortunate change here…
Why does romance get lost in relationships?
With lots of life responsibilities and a lack of time, people can’t fit in a romantic mood in hectic schedules. Romance takes the back seat when couples need to manage family, finance, and social life altogether.
Life goes on and it brings you more trouble every day. Not being pessimistic, but every day’s a new challenge.
You have many commitments like work… which is an entirely different life with pressure… then children, parents, and social life.
So, romantic partners play different roles in their life as a team. You’re caretakers of the elderly, parents… you coordinate with multiple non-romantic responsibilities.
Teamwork instills coordination, trust, and intimacy… but not romance.
Also, different perspectives in dealing with problems drive a wedge in the relationship. You may find one another boring and slowly lose romance over time.
If this unfortunate event happened in your life, you can still change the game. So, let’s know how…
How to bring back romance in a relationship? – 75 Fail Proof ways
Does your relationship lack romance? Think you can’t bring back romance anymore? Don’t give up hope yet. If you love one another dearly, it’s possible. They might take time getting used to it… but it’ll work.
So, let’s know the different routes to romance here…[Tip: Don’t try them all at once]
1. Just confess it
You don’t need a perfect time or situation to say “I love you”. Say it more frequently… be it in person, on calls, or via text. It may even be a sticky note on the bathroom mirror.
2. Bring back the letters
Write down a love letter for your partner. Write how much you love them, what attracted you, what keeps you interested in the relationship, and why you love them. Make their heart skip a beat with the letter.
3. Spice up the bedroom with foreplay
Focus more on foreplay and pleasuring your partner. Before sex, include more sensual and exciting acts. Make your partner’s heart race.
Show your devotion to your partner with more pleasurable techniques. Share it with them to know their likes.
4. Make sex an intimate act
Don’t rush into bed to climax and sleep. Keep the weekends open to have slow sex. Connect with one another’s body emotionally.
Make sex a way to build connection, enjoy their expressions, and make them climax slowly.
5. Notice their small interests
Do you see your partner showing interest in small things? It might be a utility or skincare product.
If they ever marvel at advertisements, you know how to surprise them next. Work on it silently and don’t spill the secret.
6. Plan a trip all by yourself
Trips need a lot of planning from ticket booking to packing… from getting a leave from the workplace to leaving pets and children in others’ care.
Plan them all on your own and let them have a trip without worry.
7. Add a kiss with greets
Whether you go to bed, wake up in the morning, leave home for work, return from work, or want to wish your partner luck… kiss them every time and make all the small instances special.
8. Share your day
At night, while you have dinner or watch a show together, talk more. Share what happened throughout the day. They’ll soothe you if it was a bad day. If you had a good day, they’ll feel happy for you.
9. Note down your dates
You both made numerous pretty memories together. Every memory speaks about your or your special qualities.
Journal all of them to marvel at them later. This is also a good way to appreciate your past in the future.
10. Recall the sweet past
If you’re not much of a writer, reminisce about your past loving memories. Tell them what you thought of them at first sight. Share your feelings from back when you both were too shy to express yourselves.
11. Let them define “love”
What is love to you? Is it the same for your partner? Know how your partner feels loved.
Indulge in an honest conversation and mentally note down your partner’s opinions. Next time, use their ideas to express your love.
12. Ask them about their special days
Your partner might have a lot going on outside your relationship. They might soon have special events like promotions or a business deal.
Put a reminder on those dates. Ask your partner about their days and events.
13. Pay a surprise work-visit
Cook your partner’s favorite food… or order from their favorite restaurant if you’re not big on cooking.
Visit your partner during lunch with their meal. Brighten up their day and remove the office blues with the delicious meal.
14. Surprise them with Breakfast
If your partner always makes breakfast for you both, pamper them in the morning. Wake up before them this weekend and silently work on your special cuisine.
Surprise them with breakfast in bed along with their favorite hot beverage.
15. Sway their heart with hugs
Hugs help release oxytocin in our body which lifts our spirits. When your partner isn’t near the fire, hot, sharp, or fragile objects, engulf them in your warm embrace. Hug them tight and nuzzle them in their neck.
16. Hold hands publicly
Publicly holding hands, intertwining your fingers, or interlocking your arms… do these on a regular basis. If you’re shorter than them, lean your head on their arm. Show some PDA subtly and elegantly.
17. Praise them publicly
Whether it’s a double date, friends’ outing, or family gathering… hint at your love for them. Indirectly show loving gestures and praise them. They’ll blush and feel loved. Say “I love you” in front of others.
18. Pick them up on bad days
Some workdays are super hectic and you only want more love. When you get a hint of a rough workday, show up around their clock-out time. Return home together and brighten up the end of their day.
19. Shower them compliments
Whether your partner gets a fresh haircut, a makeover, grabs a promotion, successfully births a child, teaches your child good values, does something for your parents, or even stands up for themselves… praise them. One compliment may lift their spirits.
20. Try your hand at poetry
Poetries aren’t about rhyming words at the end of sentences. It’s a lot about connecting your feelings and their features with natural elements.
Compare your passion with volcanic lava, their eyes with starry nights. Just, don’t offend them with comparisons.
21. Steal quotes from romantic movies
Take your partner out on movie date nights. Choose a romantic flick and memorize the romantic scripts. Search it online if you can’t do it instantly. After the movie ends, shower them with cheesy romantic lines.
22. Connect before sleeping
If you two don’t live together and hardly have time throughout the day… don’t forget to have a call or chat before bed. Before sleeping, wish them goodnight and tell them you love them for being so understanding.
23. Discuss your future
Share what kind of future you want with them. If you want children, when and how many? Where do you plan to settle?
What kind of spouse or parent will you be? Know theirs and start working on common goals.
24. Strike intimate conversations
Share about your relationship with your parents. Whether you want to be like them or not. Discuss your passions and talents. Ask them about their best and worst memories. What attracts you to one another. Know one another better.
25. Enjoy the pillow talk
Do you fall asleep right after sex? Change that habit, cuddle, compliment their sexual acts, kiss, and run your fingers through their hair.
If you’re tired, fall asleep during such conversations. Make them feel loved before sleeping.
26. Enjoy physical intimacy while talking
If you both like physical intimacy, indulge in it. During conversations, hold hands, put your arms around their shoulder, massage their hand, or touch their knee.
Get rid of the physical distance between you both and share your personal space. 😉
27. Always get them souvenirs
Sometimes, you can’t take your partner on trips like friends’, office, and family ones. Show them they were on your mind 24/7 with souvenirs. It may not be expensive, even bringing local sweets helps.
28. Grab something that reminds you of them
Sometimes, we walk past stores and feel “This color will suit him/her”… sounds familiar? Then just get it… if you don’t have money on you at that moment, book it or ask the clerk to save it for you.
29. Go an extra mile for date nights
Once in a while, plan a movie-like romantic date. With music, flowers, candles, fairy lights… or even cook yourself for them.
Be their personal chef, butler, and their partner for an evening. Sway them off their feet once again.
30. Find couple activities together
When you both laze around in bed with your phone, pull them closer. Check unique date activities and discuss them together.
Prioritize their thoughts and opinions on the activities. Set your next weekend plans in the romantic ambiance.
31. Spend some time gadget-free
Make time for conversations, put away your devices, maintain eye contact, and listen actively. Don’t interrupt them if they’re wrong.
Let them finish before you speak your mind. If you can’t focus on the convo, refresh your mind before it.
32. Say more than “I love you”
To push away the monotony of daily love confessions, bring up sweet memories that melted your heart. For instance, “I still remember the day we started dating… I’ve been lucky ever since. I love you so much.”
33. Express the warm feelings
Even in long-term commitments, your partner’s kind side might catch you off-guard. After all, there’s no end to knowing one another.
When your heart swells with love in these moments, say it out loud. Make their day with sweet nothings.
34. Grab them after-work refreshments
If you both work, grab their favorite Starbucks drink on your way back home. If you stay at home while they work, prepare their favorite warm drink. Refresh their mood with an energizing dose of caffeine.
35. Give them a hand
Think your partner got a lot on their plate? Why not reduce their daily load a bit?
For instance, do the dishes when you’re done or pick the laundry in their stead. Share the small responsibilities to make them happy.
36. Kiss them everywhere
If you haven’t tried it yet, start it from today. Kiss them on their cheeks, forehead, neck, earlobes, back of their hands, shoulders, back… anywhere you want it. Well, if you’re not sexually active yet, don’t cross that line.
37. Learn their language of romance
For you, a candle-light dinner is romantic… for your partner, a walk in the rain might be romantic.
Though different, everyone’s definition of romance is valid. So, steal their idea and use it on them. Surprise them with your sneakiness.
38. Romanticize the scavenger hunt
Plan a scavenger hunt at home, use heart-shaped candies with your clues. Use romantic poems to make the riddles. Let the final gift be something they’ve wanted for a long time. It might be a book, a dress, or even utility.
39. Share your hobbies
If your partner is an introvert and you’re an extrovert, sometimes indulge in one another’s interests. Spend an afternoon reading books with them. Or, bring them out to an event. Try out one another’s regular hobbies together.
40. Make heart-shaped food
Get a heart-shaped baking bowl and cutter. Cut out bread and egg-poach in heart shapes, and bake heart-shaped bread.
Perhaps also try your hand at latte art. Make everything cute with hearts and flowers.
41. Make a romantic puzzle
Search online for DIY romantic paper puzzles. Write something romantic on each puzzle piece. Create a chit box full of answers.
Make a chit with “Where did we first meet?” Put the answer chits in the fishbowl. Let them fish out answers.
42. Add love notes to objects
Add a sticky note with a romantic thought to everything. For instance, on the coffee bottle, “You freshen me up better than coffee”… on the honey bottle “you’re my honey bunny”. Go heavy on the sweetness around your house.
43. Make out on every surface
If you guys live together, make the most out of your time. Get frisky on the couch, in the washroom, in the kitchen… at your doorway, or even on the balcony. Just don’t be an exhibitionist and enjoy.
44. Pop in the music to dance
Tune in to your favorite music app, turn on slow music, put it on speakers, hold your partner’s hands and pull them up. Now dance slowly, even if you’re bad at it. You’re at home, so enjoy judgment-free.
45. Warm up their bath
Before your partner wakes up or returns from work if you’re at home prepare their bath. Whether they like it with bath bombs, bath toys (don’t judge), or with scented candles… prepare it all and surprise them.
46. Also, prepare a warm towel
While they take a bath, throw a fresh towel in the dryer. Keep it warm and fluffy for when the time comes.
Your romantic treatment and attention may move your partner to tears… so keep some tissues nearby.
47. Get fit together
Prioritize your health together even if they’re a lazy bum. Go easier on their fitness goals and hit the gym together.
While you build your abs, they’ll work on their flexibility. Also, sneak a glance at one another’s sexy workout face.
48. Personalize their romantic playlist
Romantic songs express every romantic’s heart. You might relate to quite a few of them.
Pick out about ten romantic songs this weekend that express your feelings. If you find more, secretly add them to their music app.
49. Set aside some adult time
If you have children, leave them in their granny’s place this Friday. Have the house all to yourself and unleash your carnal desires. Finally, have time all to yourself without worrying over your kids’ tantrums.
50. Shop for lingerie together
If you’re a woman, take your man along to the lingerie stores. Ask them to choose or give their opinion on your choice. If there’s a trial room, wear it and send him your lingerie selfie.
51. Create a home spa
Order the best aromatic massaging oils and lotion, a massage table, and scented candles.
Pamper your partner with a warm body massage and kill their fatigue. If you don’t have too much time but have enough budget, book a couples’ spa.
52. Share a bath
What’s better than bathing alone? Bathing together, of course! After you send them to the bath, enter the bathtub clad in a towel. Give them a foot massage while soaking. Don’t touch them sexually unless they ask for it.
53. Revamp their room on special days
Birthdays, anniversaries, or date nights… change the bedroom look if you plan to stay indoors.
Lay out a furry bed sheet, satin pillow covers, hang white mesh curtains, fairy lights, spread flower petals, and essential oils to make a romantic setting.
54. Recreate the awkward date
Your first date was possibly awkward. Recreate it all over: wear the same or similar outfits, visit the same date venue, try the same activities… even order the same food. Enjoy reminiscing about your awkward and innocent past.
55. Go night-walking
After your dinner, put on your PJs and walking shoes. Go on a long walk hand in hand. Enjoy the cool night breeze while digesting your food. If you’re in the mood, get dessert from the 24/7 open stores.
56. Gaze at the stars
If your city has clean air and hilly areas, go stargazing in the elevated regions. Prepare a tent with a transparent top and fall asleep while looking at the stars.
Also, prepare enough food and water so your partner doesn’t worry.
57. Break in that picnic mat
Go to a park with a flower garden and have a picnic there. Prepare all the necessities like food, drinks, and an umbrella. Also, carry a power bank, in case your partner likes taking pictures… you know what’ll happen.
58. Book a resort
On the weekends, visit a resort at your closest rural spot. Enjoy the rustic touch of romance and have your way with one another. To give one another distraction-free attention, switch off your phones and enjoy the moment.
59. Plan a long-drive
If you don’t have your own car but have a driver’s license, then rent one. For those who love the urban lights, go on a long drive. If you live in a seaside city, play at the beach at night.
60. Send “I miss you” texts
Throughout your day at work, whenever you get a breather, text them “I miss you” or “I can’t wait to get home and hug you”. Play along with your vocabulary to keep out monotony. Also, don’t do it if they dislike it during work.
61. Go grocery shopping together
Grocery shopping is hectic and boring… too many items and the aisles are far too. If you get groceries after work then meet up and go together.
Choose your favorite ingredients together for dinner. Also, minimize fights over boring food.
62. Cook a meal together
If your partner always cooks alone and you don’t know how to cook… then give them a hand in the kitchen. Wash and chop the veggies, marinate the chicken, and set the plates on the table. Also, learn cooking from them.
63. Go on double dates
Is there a couple in your friends’ circle? Or are there more than one? Plan double or group date nights with them.
With romance in the air, you’ll naturally act more romantic. Also, only pay attention to your partner during the date.
64. Pamper yourself
Before you make love with your partner, love yourself. Scrub your body, trim yourself down there, nourish your skin with lotion, and look irresistibly delicious for your partner. Throw on a sexy outfit and light candles to seduce your partner.
65. Gift a custom watch
Inscribe “All of my time is yours” on a watch. Keep it a secret from your partner and give it to them on a surprise date. It’s a great anniversary or birthday gift so plan the date wisely.
66. Take a ride on Ferris Wheel
Urban legend: If you kiss when your Ferris wheel cabin hits the top, you’ll be together forever. We all heard that in fairy-tales and romance dramas… How many of you tried it? Well, it doesn’t hurt trying again either.
67. Cuddle by the fireplace
During lazy winter nights, cuddle up in front of the fireplace. Whisper sweet nothings into your partner’s ears, kiss them, nibble on their skin. Be playful, don’t think about sex… it’ll happen if they’re in a mood.
68. Surprise them with a bouquet
When you’re out of the station, your partner obviously misses you. Pre-plan with a flower shop to send them flowers while you’re away. Also, attach a handwritten note like “I miss you too, will see you soon”.
69. Lean in and gaze
Whenever you lean your face closer to your partner’s, do they close their eyes? Next time, lean in super close but don’t kiss them.
They’ll get confused about not getting kisses. Unleash the kissing monster to calm them.
70. Pick them up after a trip
When your partner returns after a business trip or a friends’ night-out, surprise them with a pick-up. Get them flowers and chocolates too. If it’s a trip with friends, take a hangover medicine just in case.
71. Include them in the business trip
Ask your partner to visit you on the last day of your business trip. Take the next day off and enjoy the exotic place together. It will thrill your partner beyond your imagination.
72. Try skinny dipping
Are there any hidden water bodies around? One which nobody visits? Go together, ditch your clothes, and dip and play in the water in your birthday suit. Make out in the water but don’t have sex as it’s unsafe.
73. Return home with flowers
While returning home after a long day, buy your partner’s favorite flowers and chocolates.
If they stay at home all day as your kids or elderly’s caregiver… the vibrant and soothing colors will instantly change their mood.
74. Create a bucket list
Whether you’re married or just started dating, create a bucket list for this year. For instance, will you try paragliding? Or do you want to learn scuba diving? Choose the most exciting ones from both of your lists.
75. Litter the bed with flowers
While your partner is outside, change the bedsheets with red and white ones. Cover the bed cover with their favorite flower petals. Hide the petals with the blanket. Wait for when they turn the blanket to get in.
But as it’s said prevention is better than cure.
If the romance is still alive in your relationship… you may want to know…
How to prevent losing romance in relationships?
Preventing damage is always easier than damage control. So, don’t wait for romance to disappear from your relationship. Work on it right now and you’ll always know how to be romantic. Protect the romance with these…
1. Learn one another’s love language
There are five different love languages – affirmative words, quality time, gifts, service, and physical contact. So, snuggles may make you feel loved. But your partner prefers being praised.
Identify your love languages together and act on them. You can also choose the best romantic gestures based on it.
2. Get expert advice
If you can’t figure out your way to romance, consult a relationship coach. Work out your differences and conflicts in the relationship early on.
Follow healthy habits to sustain romance in the relationship. Also, improve your skills in decision-making and negotiation to improve the relationship.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
You and your partner don’t have the same needs and desires. So, what seems romantic to you, might not touch them at all.
So, never assume that roses and chocolates will melt your babe’s heart. They might be allergic to roses and not like chocolates at all.
Communicate about such crucial deets right after you start dating. Because romance is a great deal in sustaining relationships.
Also, sometimes your partner might not be sure about their definition of romance. Don’t lose your calm and take time to figure it out together.
However, if you still can’t find an answer, conflicts may arise. Seek couples counseling before the issues turn serious.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...