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Is Sexual Tension a Real Thing or is It just a Crush? 30+ Signs and everything you need to know

Is Sexual Tension a Real Thing or is It just a Crush? 30+ Signs and everything you need to know

Updated on Oct 21, 2022

Reviewed by Katina Tarver, MA (Mental Health and Wellness Counseling) , Life & Relationship Coach

Sexual Tension Meaning, Signs, Causes & How To Deal with It

Key Takeaways

  • Sexual tension is a normal desire of indulging in sex with or without romantic feelings.
  • You might experience it if you’re denying yourself sexual relief due to any complications.
  • It might be mutual or one-sided. Always be alert to save yourself from unwanted sexual tension.
  • You can also build sexual tension if the other person isn’t uncomfortable.
  • Think through well before indulging in impulses at work or with friends.

Did you recently hear about sexual tension and are eager to learn more? Wondering how to understand your attraction towards a certain someone a little better?

Perhaps you feel their behavior misleads you yet the thought of them having similar feelings interests you.

Once in a while, everyone falls for someone in their life and keeps craving more even when there’s no romantic relationship.

And let’s be honest, we all want our interests to reciprocate.

Nevertheless, we’ve all confessed in the past and have had varied experiences… But let’s not dig those ugly graves right now!

…and get back “Sexual Tension” that has been bothering your noggin.

So, let’s move on to…

What is Sexual Tension? (Sexual Tension Meaning)

The sexual desire brewing between two people feel during daily conversations without leading to any sexual activity is known as sexual tension. Sexual tension can arise either from good or bad feelings.

Sexual tension is the urge of having sex with a particular someone. It occurs when two individuals desire sexual activities but suppress them for complicated reasons.

Sexual tension is so common that it can happen between people feeling sexually attracted to each other despite romantic feelings.

Well, different people act on expressing it differently, and if the sexual tension is mutual, many flirts with mild physical contact.

Usually, sexual tension doesn’t result in the main course… sex… because of situational matters or uncertainties.

Also, this term is applicable only when both sides feel the same urge. This means people cannot experience sexual tension if there is no sexual chemistry between both parties.

If it is a “one-sided sexual tension”… no that isn’t so intense to create sexual tension, it is instead a sexual attraction or a sexual crush.

The fine line between simple sexual attraction and sexual tension is quite hard to understand. But you can compare it with a crush (one-sided) and love (mutual).

Positive Sexual Tension

When you first see them and feel butterflies fluttering in your stomach or your heart starts jumping at the thought of meeting them – that’s what you call positive sexual tension.

You wait the whole day to get a glimpse of this person and when you do… you possibly feel all hot and bothered.

Long story short, you feel sexy, confident, and good enough to pounce on the other person if it’s reciprocated.

People feel sexual tension occurs with only good feelings, but that isn’t the case…

Negative Sexual Tension

Unfortunately, sexual tension can involve a lot of negativities. NO, it’s not always negativity about the other person.

It is connected with a person’s traumatic past, like a sexual abuse incident, or a body-shaming incident during sex.

As harsh as it sounds, it’s real and pitiful, such people need support to cope up with mental scars. They also want to lead a healthy sex life, but negativity pulls them back into a dark pit.

Now that you’re well aware of all kinds of definitions and types, let’s find out what can lead to this sexual tension.

What causes Sexual Tension?

Sexual tension usually arises from denied sexual relief. The denial can be because of confusion, uncertainties, situational obstacles, or relationship complications.

Mutual sexual attraction between two people can lead to sexual desire. But if they do not engage in sexual actions even after feeling it, the unsatisfied desires result in sexual tension.

In the beginning, people cannot identify this feeling and deny any kind of attraction towards the other. Obviously, they do not engage in sexual activities during the denial of feelings.

The lack of sexual activity with their sexual interest further intensifies this attraction.

Denial of sexual desires is the groundwork or cause of sexual tension. Usually, when two people feel sexual chemistry towards each other, they seem like great friends… laughing in sync, playfully touching each other, they are almost always together or craving to be together.

But that’s all because they can’t proceed due to complicated thoughts about insecurities or uncertainties.

Sexual Tension signs

Different people experience different signs of sexual tension and each individual expresses it differently.

Your sexual interest may not be responding to your efforts as expected as still be feeling the tickles in the belly. Sometimes, even you may not even be aware of your intentions.

If you keep denying and stalling your urges, it won’t bring the magical moment in your life – not like this.

So, watch out for all these signs while you are still making sense of your dancing hormones! 😉

1. You feel a spark in eye contact

You find yourself frequently looking at each other eye-to-eye.

Even if it is a public gathering, your eyes subconsciously find their way to them and they notice you too. As soon as you find them looking at you, you get conscious about your activities.

Whenever they are around, you just can’t seem to think anything but “them”. Sometimes it even feels they are feeling the same way.

Well, that’s your brain’s cue to notice the sexual feelings… brushing off the tension with awkward laughs isn’t the solution.

2. The conversations are awkward

Sometimes the attraction is so hard that you fumble for the right words during conversations.

You stumble around for topics and pick peculiar things to say, needless to say – sheer embarrassment follows the conversation.

Your brain to you, almost every time: I don’t usually stammer, why in front of her?

Men experience this rather more than women because of strange brain chemicals in the male anatomy.

They become grade-schoolers in front of their interest and to top it off their brain plays pranks on them.

3. Either or both of you steal glances

Before you reach the phase of staring into each other’s eyes, you’ve been stealing glances of each other… and this might not be intentional.

You keep checking them out and you just can’t have enough of that godly gorgeousness.

Obviously, intently staring will catch the other person off-guard – they might feel awkward, self-conscious, or just return the favor. Flirting with eyes can also feel unnaturally sensual.

This can also be the other way round and you may feel an intense gaze on you… next time dare to look them back in the eye to feel the spark.

4. You feel like a teenager

Teenagers do literally anything to catch a glimpse of their crush or sweetheart… make excuses for visiting the restroom, to see the other person in the hallway, or forget their lunch boxes intentionally, to share the food with them.

It’s something new, exciting, and your heart feels all giddy.

Similarly, adults feeling sexual tension make pointless detours to see that one person walking by the corridor or visiting a store. You just can’t fail to see them in that situation “perchance”, every day.

If this person steps out to buy meals, you line up behind to get more time around them… even if you have lunch.

5. You keep thinking about them

Reading a romance novel reminds you of them and you start imagining them within all the scripted scenes.

You even tend to forget your daily course of action and find yourself lost in their daydreams. Imaginations can run wild especially when you are experiencing sexual tension.

If you randomly bring up their topic in front of friends, you… my friend… needs to talk with this person. Better to talk with them and know their intentions before someone else takes the chance.

6. You daydream at odd situations

Hand-in-hand, lying on top of each other, savoring the touch – that’s all you can think of even while at work.

You have a lot on your mind yet you make space for their thoughts – this can be both mesmerizing and troublesome.

Delayed work and unrealized fantasies, neither will serve good to you, nevertheless, you continue thinking of that person.

All kinds of random plans of confessing, proposing, or even getting touchy with this person overpower your mind. Honestly, you really need to act on it if you want to focus on your work.

7. You are constantly looking for a green sign

You are sure about your feelings, eager to take the step ahead but something is stopping you… you need a sign, a green flag to step up.

Everyone fears rejection like you two and so, things just keep hanging in the middle.

Hoping for a green sign is great but don’t let the right chance fly away. If you feel they are the right one for you, things will eventually work out.

Otherwise, regain control of your emotions and feelings. The trick is to keep it low and personal to avoid embarrassment.

8. You want them to make a move

The uncertainty is just not letting you take the big step. You want them to ask you out or even send you the signal.

Worrying about their feelings is a great sign of your character. But who knows… they might feel the same and want you to take the lead because of insecurities?

Both of you are in the same boat with the same kind of feelings, beating around the bush… it’s time to put an end to this, sweetheart. Just ask them out!

9. You subconsciously express it with your body

If either of you is conscious about your image in front of the other – leveling clothes, tousling hair, brushing their skin slightly, or even touching your own lips subconsciously are all body cues that reek of sexual tension.

Body language can speak tonnes about sexual attraction and frustration. Though consciously you’re trying to hold it back, your body toots the horn.

10. There’s a new kind of feeling

Perhaps you aren’t yet aware of this attraction but you feel different in their presence.

You are nice to everyone but can’t help being mean to this one person – without a reason – this undefined frustration is also a cue of attraction and helplessness to act on it.

Take time, sit down, reflect on why you don’t like this person – I bet you will find more reasons why you like them.

11. There’s a lot of flirting… and blushing!

You feel great talking to them and the conversation flows so smoothly you let your goofy side take over.

Moreover, everything feels so natural that you don’t notice how quickly time flows by. Your stupid conversations don’t annoy the other person and they accept you just the way you are.

You tend to flirt with them unconsciously and can’t stop blushing later… because your silly side slipped. 

12. Your inner-circle gets jealous

Perhaps your sibling or best friend doesn’t approve of this relationship… but it’s not because the other person is fishy but because they’re protective about you.

Yes, people get jealous like that, humans are also territorial like beasts.

Others surrounding you can identify romantic feelings towards you a lot faster because of their observant nature.

Whereas you don’t, because of your confusion about your feelings and of course the uncertainties.

If you’re in a romantic relationship, your partner might be uncomfortable with your “friend” and ask you to stop contacting them. Take some time off from the current relationship if that’s so.

13. People compliment you both

Everyone thinks you guys click and fit in just right and often call you a couple. People advise you both to date because of the chemistry brewing.

Usually, others sniff romance even before the people involved in it.

After explaining about your relationships to others, check your interest’s expression… might catch a cue there.

If not, let them explain stuff next time and analyze their reaction. Perhaps your partner is really good at hiding feelings…

14. Your heart goes on a rollercoaster ride around them

Louder heartbeats ringing in your ears, shaky or cracking voice, sweaty hands, or even a subconsciously longing gaze in your eyes… everything symbolizes intense attraction towards them.

Some of you might feel like jumping in happiness around them but suppress it anyway.

You feel butterflies flapping in your stomach, and your entire body tingles with a strong desire for something. Obviously, nobody is jumping on the other, but the body desires it.

Well, if feelings intensify like this, time to admit them and move on to the next level.

15. You find their lame jokes interesting

If they’re cracking lame jokes or innuendos, it doesn’t bother you, you laugh at it anyway. It can be the other way round too, and only this person may praise you for your silly behavior.  

If sexual hints are common between you two, it signifies comfort with each other’s sexual advances.

This happy feeling is all about happy hormones from your brain… that are at an all-time high.  

Many might find you foolish for reacting to their stupid jokes but don’t comment because they know it… more so than you guys.

16. You get wet dreams

Perhaps you woke up all wet and bothered after a dream about them. Or, you relieved yourself fantasizing about them because the dream wasn’t enough.

Sometimes intimate regions might tingle when you see them, hear their voice, or just recollect a memory.

Even if you don’t want to react, your hormones aren’t in your control. Subconsciously admiring them is not enough… you desire real action in your life.

Now decide on when to show mercy at your sexually frustrated self, sure you can wait longer?

17. Their voice invites you

When individuals interact with their potential interests, often their voice also turns sexy. Males sound deeper like a growling animals while women sound gentler symbolizing delicacy.

If you didn’t notice it yet, dial a phone call and take notes of how they sound.

Oh! And don’t forget to notice how you react to their voice, like your voice or your bodily reactions.

Goosebumps and tingles are clear indications of sexual tension. Human bodies naturally flirt around their interest, especially all males subconsciously do something noticeable for their partners.

18. Both of you find your way to each other

Even in group settings, you guys end up sitting together without a word. Feeling more natural and comfortable in each other’s company is another sign of sexual tension.

Sure, good friends stick together too, but it’s subtly different. Friends click together but they don’t find the spark in each other’s presence, and friends have more strict boundaries.

However, people with sexual chemistry are closer and allow each other in personal space.

You don’t plan it but ultimately find yourself around each other’s presence.

19.  You feel happier and more comfortable together

If you seem a lot more happy and comfortable in someone’s presence it expresses the other person’s desirability.

You encourage the presence of the other person with your positive attitude… and since you’re not doing it wilfully, it is often defined as subconscious flirting.   

Accept this feeling already else you will suffer from sexual frustration. Make another move and see how they react.

20. There are a lot of bold encouraging touches

A handshake often ends snaking hands around the other’s waist, a friendly side-hug becomes a tight bear hug. Or, you almost nibbled on their earlobe or neck in a daze after a hug.

Hugs become longer and leave you feeling for more. Their smell soothes you or excites you.

If any of that happened, your body is screaming for some carnal attention. Subconsciously doing so much yet not voicing it is stubborn.

Both of you have crystal clear feelings for each other yet you’re suppressing it fearing the unknown.

21. You crave their presence

Feeling bored and missing them when you’ve talked to them just a minute ago is yet another sign. You’re always hungry for a little more time together.

Moreover, at the end of the date, you feel like taking the longer route home to spend more time.

Trying to stay on the call for longer with irrelevant topics or texting them without any cause, testing their reactions with a new side of you, eagerly waiting for the first or last message of the day, going to sleep while staying on the call… all of it expresses your craving for more.

22. You’re lulling your carnal instincts

Sometimes devouring them seems like your last choice but refrain from acting on such desires. Either the situation isn’t suitable, or you feel guilty for harboring such feelings.

You also feel embarrassed because of this strange urge brewing inside you.

Even after forcefully controlling your urges, you end up being quite intimate and close to them. Not necessarily sexual but definitely more than friendly intimacy.

Your body knows the comfort amidst you both and you can’t deny this tension… of course, something is cooking!

23. You are longing for more than available

Ever felt lusty and used anything as material for relief? Well, usually no lusty feeling lasts after the relief, but that’s not the case anymore.

Perhaps you already fantasized about them multiple times for relief and are still looking for some more.

Well, that indicates your feelings are more than simple sexual frustration. This tension is real and you feel a natural sexual connection with them.

Positive responses to touch like leaning in asking for more than a simple handshake or brief hug are also signs of longing.

24. The bigger one acts protective

The bigger person’s carnal desire expresses itself with a protective nature towards the smaller one.

If you’re the bigger one, you boy down only around your interest. If you’re the smaller one, finding yourself in a protective embrace or leaning on their arm during conversations feel normal.

Your bodies are more compatible than you imagine and they communicate in their own way. A woman isn’t incapable of protecting herself, but she allows a man to take on that protective role to feed his ego.

Either of you possibly acts like that subconsciously which resembles sexual tension.

25. There are some accidental touches

Every time they pass by, make casual physical contacts and you feel it wasn’t accidental, then it really wasn’t. They want to fluster you, see you craving them… so teasing with slight touches feels the best.

Also, it may be possible that they know you perceive them as a potential sexual partner and not just a friend or acquaintance.

Your body reacts differently to their touch and feeds naughty thoughts in your head.

Physical contact with everyone doesn’t spark electricity through your spine unless there is sexual tension.

26. You’re always hoping to bump into them

Last night’s date was great but you still hope to see them again. “what if I really bump into him/her on the subway?”

If thoughts like this cloud your mind, you’re probably grooming yourself more than before because… let’s admit it… who doesn’t want to look beautiful/handsome in front of their ___?

So before figuring out the above blank, tell me did you change your lingerie too? Because maybe, just in case… even if it’s a visit to the supermarket.

While these were some prominent signs, there are a few more that may not be as common or prominent.

Other signs

27. Your skin is glowing

Your skin glows a lot more than before.

Radiating skin with twinkling hopeful eyes is another sign of sexual tension. But usually, you notice this only after others keep pointing it out.

28. You’re smiling more often

Anything about them makes your skin flush and hot. You just can’t stop smiling and resist the tingles in your tummy.

When others notice it, it makes you blush even harder. If he/she makes such an intense impact on your daily life, your needs are overflowing.

29. You’re doing something forbidden

You feel like you’re always indulging in forbidden pleasures when you come across them.

Hiding your naughty sensual thoughts and talking with a straight face excites your heart and intimate areas. You constantly visualize them naked and in an intimate position with you.

30. You’re hungry for attention

In group settings, you try to monopolize them like a predator cornering its prey. You don’t want others to hog onto them.

Multiple times you tried pushing away others quickly to get more personal time with this person.

31. Your body temperature is higher than usual

Your skin becomes warmer around them, feeling hotter than usual, sweating more, leading to thoughts of showing more skin to relieve this discomfort… Every thought leads you to the same trail.

Wanting attention, making the other squirm in anticipation, and gazing in lust, all happen sequentially.

But how will you know if the other person feels the same?

Signs that the Sexual tension is mutual

You’re sure about the sexual tension rising, but do they feel the same?

Of Course, you need to be sure before you take the next step because some people might just be warm and friendly and not understand your real intentions.

Well, before making things awkward and losing their company permanently, check on these clear signs that assure mutual sexual tension.

1. They don’t find your awkwardness uncomfortable

Sexual tension makes people nervous because it is “tension”. And nervous situations make you stutter while you vainly cover up with some random topic.

Initially, conversations become awkward, your nerves give out and make a mess out of yourself.

Well, while fumbling with your clumsiness, notice how they react? They probably don’t show any signs of discomfort.

Moreover, if they find your clumsiness cute, play with your hair, or blush at your unsuccessful attempts at flirting, that’s a positive sign.

Don’t let desires blind you. If they are trying to get away from this awkwardness, back off! Making a fool of yourself because of the sexual urgency is a lot of risks.

Analyze their reactions without investing your emotions in it.

2. You both always smile at each other

If both of you naturally smile during interactions without any particular reason, then they feel comfortable in your presence.

They subconsciously approve of your company, vibe, and everything is positive even when there is nothing funny around.

And reciprocating their smiles gives away a similar encouragement. This makes both of you feel this invisible connection… it isn’t too clear because nobody is verbal but it’s definitely there. Nobody smiles at someone who they don’t approve of.

Moreover, if their smile is not natural but polite, it might be a friendly thing.

You need to be extremely cautious to pick up on these small details. Once again, don’t let hormones take over the judgment.

3. You both share a laugh very often (from the heart!)

While smiling stretch facial muscles, laughter voices out a lot of feelings. Think about it, you laughed in more than a hundred ways in different situations in life.

Sometimes you’re faking it, other times you’re polite, and hardly laugh your heart out because of obvious reasons.

But with them, both of you heartily laugh even if it’s strange, awkward, or plain funny. They probably find all of your antics amusing and attractive because of the mutual sensations.

If someone is only friendly with you, they won’t reciprocate to all of your silly acts positively.

The opposite person starts goofing around when they also feel comfortable around you. Look out for fun signs which reek of an optimistic answer.

4. People can see it

If you’re still unsure about these signs, ask your close ones. Others pick up on such signs quicker than the involved because your hormones are all over the place.

Perhaps there is a mutual friend or colleague who saw you together or attended get-togethers with you both.

They can tell when something is cooking or if everything is smoking hot around you two.

They might randomly compliment your compatibility or your close friendship which is also a sign. Though you feel great hearing those remarks, how do they react?

Does he/she take it sportingly? Or are they changing the topic? Is the smile natural and shy or is it uncomfortable? These minute reactions will give you cues on how to proceed.

5. They return your (sensual) gaze

Though you check them out in their sexy outfit and imagine the details under the layers, your eyes always subconsciously find their way to theirs.

There’s something intense in their body awakening your carnal desires… but when your eyes meet, you convey those feelings without words.

If they return your intense gaze and maintain eye contact, you know what it means! It resembles their comfort with your desires, and most probably you guys are on the same page.

Sometimes, they might include other signs like touching or biting lips or sensually touching themselves.

Or, they check you out completely like devouring you with their lusty gaze. If you feel a weird sensual itch when they stare, it’s mutual.

6. You get compliments about your shampoo/cologne

Often they come closer, take a deep breath near your ears or neck, and ask what shampoo/perfume you use.

But in reality, they want to see you squirm with their close proximity. Sometimes they might do it subconsciously and walk away with a blush… but it’s all a part of the teasing game.

If he/she does that even when you’re not wearing any perfumed products, it’s pheromones. Your pheromones are driving them nuts and they might or might not be aware.

But certainly, there’s some attraction and they can’t stay away from you.

Their desire to smell more of you is an indirect demand of intruding on your personal space, taking everything a notch higher.

Of course, your sensual reactions give away your thoughts… but be more aggressive to speed things up.

7. They stick close to you during conversations

If they’re sticking close to you during conversations, especially more so when nobody is around, HUGE SIGN. Their body is comfortable with yours and wants to be intimate.

How many of your colleagues or friends stand as close as him/her when you see each other? This thought will definitely ring a bell about their intentions.

Obviously, they don’t pounce on you… yet… but slowly make efforts to minimize the space between you during conversations.

Perhaps, their move is so natural that neither of you noticed till now. Next time you’re together without any distractions, observe their body language.

Are they slowly sneaking in towards you? Or are they maintaining some distance?

If there’s a positive sign, they possibly want to get hot and steamy with you.

8. They make excuses to touch you

Not digging into the main course yet desiring it says a lot about the taboo in your relationship. But that doesn’t stop you from getting non-sensual contact. So, you both find excuses to touch each other like…

“Oh there’s a leaf on your hair”, “you have cream on your face”, or a “it’s too crowded, hold my hand you’ll lose your way”.

Multiple excuses to touch you and of course, clearly, they make sure they don’t leave any chance to grab it.

If they mindlessly caress your skin, that’s the cue my friend. Don’t let their “oh that was accidental!” or “I wasn’t mindful” fools you. Nobody does that mate, go seize the night!

9. They actively participate in your plans

Visiting the gaming arcade but need a companion? A long-awaited movie released, but nobody’s interested? Or, you want to try the new pastry shop downtown? They are always up for it, every time!

No, that’s not a friendly or sympathetic hand, they want more time alone with you, and want to know your tastes better… to seduce you.

Sure, nobody can seduce others with food or games, but they can strike more conversations with you.

Let’s face it, grown-ups don’t show random new interests which “happen to” coincide. They literally try to make a date out of every outing with you.

Keep an eye out, might find them observing you intently on your next “date”.

10. They are overdressed!

A change in wardrobe is indeed a noticeable side… perhaps his shirts seem more fitted, and it perfectly outlines his pecs, or his trousers accentuate his butts better.

Perhaps she’s wearing sexier outfits, with deeper necklines and tighter tops… or her jeans make you want to stroke or grab her. 

It is extremely obvious when they dress that way… exclusively for you. They groom themselves even better if it’s a date for only you two.

Take a close look, buddy, did they go out of their way to look extremely “delicious” for you?

If they dress the same as others too, there isn’t any underlying meaning behind it.

All of this is fine… when it’s mutual.

But hey, did you notice similar signs from someone unwanted? And you don’t want to experience that again… I got your back!

Ways to Avoid Unwanted Sexual Tension

If you’re facing unwanted sexual tension or sexual harassment, keep these in mind to stay safe…

1. Always carry a safety device like pepper spray, electric tasers, or safety sticks on yourself. Learn to use them well to avoid their usage against you.

2. Don’t get physically close to yourself or let others get too close to you. Maintaining distance is a must to avoid undesirable advances.

3. Be verbal about your discomfort and ask them to step away.

4. Scream for help whenever in a tough situation, like they say “God helps those who help themselves”.

5. Don’t visit new, or unknown territories all alone, take a friend or family member along.

6. If you don’t have a choice, be alert about people in your vicinity. When entering an unknown place, always think before you get inside a lockable area.

Sometimes, the other person might not reciprocate your sexual advances… time to get over those feelings…

Ways to Cope with Unwanted Urges

Realizing your carnal desires is tough because it depends on the other person’s feelings and sometimes culture.

Uncertainties turning into realities are far worse… If you read incorrectly in between the lines, it might become an embarrassing moment. After all, no human is omniscient.

However, stepping back because of other personal, social, or cultural reasons is also understandable.

Society just can’t stop calling out names to people in sexual relationships without commitment… So here are a few ways to help cope with your desires.

1. Eliminate all scopes of being alone with them. No point nurturing your desires in such an ambiance.

2. If you feel like giving in to your desires, pinch yourself to wake up and return to reality. You’re controlling yourself for a reason, giving up might worsen situations.

3. Maintain a social physical distance from them, enough to not indulge in their smell. If their smell is obvious, too close!

4. Try talking with them about why it’s a bad idea… if they want to indulge in it, they’ll probably try persuading you. Deal with those situations strictly.

5. Avoid get-togethers with them… don’t attend parties if they are around. If you can’t, then avoid seeing or talking with them in those settings.

6. If you’re committed, spend more intimate time with your partner, if not, date someone else. Acknowledge your feelings, is it really sexual intimacy or a physical one? It’ll help channelize your feelings in the right way.

7. If his/her thoughts intrude your mind and you can’t shake it off, accept it. You can’t get over people so fast, take time to heal, and don’t blame yourself for it.

8. Seek a trusted buddy’s help, tell them about everything… they don’t experience the same hormonal fluctuations about it so they can help you find a solution.

But if you want to indulge in this, then you must learn…

How to build sexual tension?

If you want to build the heat between you and your sexual prey, here are some thoughts to feed your naughty mind.

Remember to take it slow, don’t scare them off, delay expressing your raw desires.

It’ll surely be a good experience if you consistently make efforts.

1. Make some so-called accidental touches

Initially, touching them “accidentally”, might even drop a few apologies. Brush past them non-sensually, excuse yourself and wait for the reaction.

If they don’t react uncomfortably, make friends… add in casual touches like a pat or a fist bump, or simple handshakes. Again, notice their reactions… It helps!

Once you get past this phase, get a little more daring, like removing invisible dirt out of their face, complimenting her jewelry while touching it (ears, neck, fingers, or wrist), or complimenting him while touching his abs or triceps.

2. Touch sensually

Your hormones are taking over and you’re losing patience but touch them carefully. If your touch is too nasty, they will run away.

Also, soft touches are sensual, itchy, ticklish, and leave the other needing more.

Don’t believe that? Get a demo right now…

Rub the insides of your wrists firmly first, then rub it softly. The softer one gives you Goosebumps while you don’t react to the firm one. So, they too will get strange feelings from soft frictions.

Pro tip: While you’re at it, gently graze your nails slightly – that makes it more intense.

3. Look into their eyes with confidence

Look them in the eyes with a soft expression, smile playfully… be mysterious, excite them, make them want to know you and your thoughts.

Give away an expression that you’re trying to read their thoughts through their eyes. Anyone will avert their eyes, so don’t come off too strong initially.

Eventually, they will check if you’re still on it… if it’s the first time, give it a rest, else continue with this eye game. Look away and smile like you know the secrets to catch their attention.

4. Lead the way

You’re a stranger? Start an introductory conversation, befriend them. You’re friends? Get some naughty jazz in this relationship. You’re colleagues? Maybe compliment them.

Crank up the notch relationship before you dig in… remember that a heated meal always tastes better than a cold one. Invite them out, be playful, show your charm, and don’t forget to be respectful.

A gentleman or a lady never disrespects others for attention.

5. Gossip about exciting things

Use old incidents to flirt passively. Bring up a situation where it was funny yet sexy to tingle the tension going. Gossip about yourself, your past, or a friend.

Talk about naughty things from the past, leave them to imagine themselves with you.

This is a mind game, spill scenarios on their face, they’ll definitely imagine themselves with you in those situations even if they’re not that into you.

Oh, look out for responses though, if they’re not reacting positively, don’t pursue any further.

6. Play hot and cold

Make them comfortable with your presence, like it’s totally normal to hang out with you every weekend. And then go low for a while, postpone the next few weekends.

They’ll initially worry about you, then blame themselves for doing something wrong and miss you tremendously.

At this point, they’ll do anything to go out on a date with you. Don’t use this trick too frequently lest they catch on it (that’ll be bad), and be mysterious.

You can do this physically too… be physically familiar once, then distant the next time.

7. Keep them hanging

Don’t overshare yourself, keep something for them to come back to you. If they know everything, that’s game over. Entertain them while playing with their mind. Learn to stop on your tracks naturally.

If they ask which outdoor games interest you, answer it and relate it with your life, but don’t spill the beans yet.

Your gain? The suspense will pique their interest and they can’t resist asking about the details. Even if you’re not the best at extending conversations, you will now!

8. Don’t rush

Literally, in life, rushing can fail you, even if it’s a race. Pick the right pace, but don’t overdo it.

Make it comfortable for both of you, because if you overdo it – nervousness will backfire on the plan. If you cross the limit, they’ll run away so be mindful of your pace.

Also, looking like a clumsy fool might turn them off. Make sure both of your sex drives are at the same level.

9. Play Truth or Dare

Indulge in exciting games whether you’re in public, or over a call. There’s no need to force naughtiness in the game unless you reach that level.

Be honest about your take on the truths… compliment them for something great, or scold them for bad choices.

Show your interest and seriousness in between playfulness. They will eventually try impressing you with better life choices because they think you care.

Your playfulness provokes their sporting side and it will soon turn into sexual desire.  

10. Talk about common things

Add a spice of playful, suggestive thoughts, or reminisce something common and sensual. If they did something embarrassing, bring it up teasingly. They’ll blush even without you around and keep thinking about you all day.

Or, talk about that time they looked extremely ravishing but you weren’t able to express it to them. Let them know how hard it is to keep your hand to yourself.

All of this will trigger sexual tension and they will start thinking about you even on super-busy days.

If you think they’re almost on the edge, here are a few tips that will compel them to take the jump

11. Induce Naughty ideas in their head

Let them imagine you going down and dirty on them with some sexy ideas. Tell them something dirty at odd times to get their groin tingling.

The aim is once again aching them for the real thing. If your naughty words get too much for them, they’ll ask for “it” in no time.  

And if it works intensely, don’t be astonished if they pull you in an alley and force a kiss. Naughty talk invites extreme reactions from the other, and that’s what we’re aiming for.

12. Get frisky with toys

This is a little bit daring and you need prior consent before acting on it. If lusty chats aren’t enough, get a bit sexual touchy… go on a date and rub that toy against her bosoms or his loins.

Make them squirm with anticipation for more, they might even get a room immediately to get it sooner.

Or, dare them to do something secretly naughty… only you two will know it, while they will ache for something more fascinating.

13. Dodge the main course

Though waiting is pretty hard for you, don’t give in too fast. Create some suspense, make them itch for action, and beg for it before you give in.

It teases them and makes you seem irresistible in their eyes. No play is also foreplay… like not giving attention to someone makes them crave it.

Dress up gorgeously and show them what they’re missing out on. Dress sexy but keep something to the imagination. Highlight your juicy lips to attract them, but ignore any advances.

14. Discuss sex positions

Instead of heading into it right away, show how cool you’re with the current situation and discuss some sex positions in a video or a magazine. Heat them up.

This is foreplay for them but without any touching. Imagine their groins aching and them begging you to do what they see in the content.

Tease them saying, “I’m having a hard time not touching you, but I’ll still be generous and let you choose…” Their needs will take them to the verge of tears… and trust me these tears are going to pay off well.

15. Do some Roleplay

You must be aware of their limits before you act on this. Blindfold or tie your partner before getting to the good part.

Flaunt some sexy outfit from their fantasy while (s)he lies flat on the bed-bound. Or roleplay a naughty massage parlor scenario with her blindfold on.

Don’t forget to add in some spicy remarks about their reactions… if you came this far, you probably know what they like to hear in bed.

You may build sexual tension face-to-face but others might not have the courage to do it. So, here’s how you can do it on texts.

How to build sexual tension over text?

If you already got their contact number, that’s some good progress. Text-game can be mysterious for both – the receiver and the sender.

There are so many benefits like hiding behind typos or triggering your long-distance partner.

Use these amazing tricks to get them in your bed soon…

1. Throw challenges on their way

Remember how kids bully their crushes because they’re confused about their feelings? No, don’t be childish but challenge them about certain things.

They’ll try proving themselves and you’ll end up spending more time together via texts.

Also, flaunt your knowledge about certain things to impress them. Flaunting yourself and leaving room for them to flaunt, both are healthy ways of creating sexual tension.

2. Make use of gifs and emojis

You can make a regular text a lot more interesting with a flirty emoji or gif. Technology gives you more ways to flirt but doesn’t be too greedy.

Sending too many flirty emojis gives off a needy or creepy vibe, so keep this trick low-key.

Two is your magical number, don’t text more than twice – no more than two emoji – at max two expressive punctuation marks (!, ?). Stay in the limit to maintain that cool mysterious vibe.

3. Don’t just flirt

Always flirting makes you look desperate to get in their pants… you don’t want that, so try using thoughtful texts too.

Be honest about finding them attractive, don’t just direct everything about their body. Impress them with compliments on how you like them as a person.

Don’t bluff, make authentic comments about their good points. This is your warm-up for later. A hint of honesty can flip your entire game… in all good ways.  

4. Reminisce about good times in a flirty tone

Knowing them for long gives you a common topic to flirt more, how so?  “Hey Jason, remember how you caught every goal on school sports day? Actually, I was always a great fan, but you were busy with the cute girls so…  never mind I guess.”

So, pick out something good about the past, but leave it in a different tone like there were some feelings back then.

If they insist on knowing more, you got them! Make them low-key regret not making a pass on you yet. Remember, no pressure, make it smooth like butter!

5. Make sexual references to the regular stuff

Tell them something sexual but not directly… keep the good juicy details hidden, let their imagination go wild. For instance, “I had a fruit and I started missing you..”, or “I dreamt of you and… Nah, forget it.”

Don’t pull of heavy sexual stuff yet if you just started. When they ache for more, they’ll initiate dirty texting themselves. It’ll all happen in good time so don’t be too hasty.

Sometimes sexual tension might confuse you making you wonder…       

What to do about it?

If you realized you’re experiencing sexual tension, and don’t know how to act on it…

Firstly, don’t be shy or feel ashamed because everyone experiences it once in a while. If you’re new to it all, that’s okay, you’ll soon figure out these feelings.

If you know them but are unsure about working things out, talk to them. Talking can help find the best solution to this situation.

But stay respectful to others while sharing such details. Suppressed emotions can build sexual tension too, also sharing the matter might remove the tension.

If the sexual tension slowly evades after talking, it was a misunderstanding on your part.

Feelings are complex, differentiating black and white among them is easier said than done. However, if the feelings sustain after talking out, it’s serious.

If it’s possible to step forward in this relationship, go ahead. But before that…

1. Make sure there’s no hurry and you’re on your right mind.

2. If they make passes, flirt back to encourage them… if they don’t respond to your flirtations, be verbal and straightforward about it.

3. Be clear about your intentions from the start. Give them space to choose what they want.

4. Allowing space gives off a respectful and aloof vibe, so if you got any chances it’s going to be steamy, else you’ll have your self-respect with you, untainted.

If things can’t work out from the beginning, then,

1. Figure out your feelings while you accept their position or circumstances respectfully. Take some time away from this person while you stabilize your urges.

2. If this frustration is the result of boredom in your current relationship, discuss spicing things up.

3. If your partner disappoints you, and this tension was a way to escape this life, then you must strictly take a step back

4. If these urges are too casual, tend to them in some other way. You don’t always need to involve others for pleasure.

5. If the other person also feels the same, but you disapprove, let them know your reasons and stick to your decision.

Things might similarly get awkward at work…

Sexual Tension at Work

Many great relationships began in the workplace because of common life circumstances and there’s nothing wrong unless it is against your workplace ethics.

Oh, and before you bash these ethics, remember that they’re there for your safety in the professional platform.

A boss might offer an employee to engage in such relationships for grabbing a promotion, or an employee might threaten their boss for a promotion in exchange for keeping a scandal secret.

If you feel something is unusual about your feelings for a coworker then check these…


Find out if something’s cooking between you and a colleague…

1. You make the first eye contact with them when you enter a room full of people.

2. You stutter in front of this co-worker a lot – but you’re usually a confident person.

3. There are a lot of private jokes in between you two, others don’t find a place in these conversations.

4. You feel more comfortable sitting beside your co-worker, even in professional settings, although it’s not intentional.

5. You encourage and greet each other with lots of physical contacts, but not with others.

6. You two share personal life deets and are each other’s strength when life seems down

7. In group settings, others seem invisible to you. You both lose yourselves in each other’s worlds and ignore the rest. And you probably didn’t notice it until now…

8. Colleagues refer to you as each other’s soulmate/girlfriend/boyfriend… some even try to snitch about your “office romance”.

If you’re not sure about the next step…

What to do about it?

When you have so much in common, work side-by-side, be each other’s pillar, understand each other’s frustrations, it isn’t impossible to feel a little something.

But at times it might all go down the drain because of competition, misunderstanding about other colleagues, and different ideologies.

Honestly, office romance can feel sneaky, exciting, a great motivation for going to work even on bad days.

So, by all means, if you’re getting good vibes from this thing and the other person is available, continue with this excitement. Gut feelings can hint a lot about possible relationships so be mindful.

Many relationship coaches state that office romance results in unwanted tension in the workplace which is risky.

One might lose their job if it’s against work ethics, so you better be clear about your intentions and come off clean asap. Don’t wait until they catch you red-handed and get you in trouble.

You might ponder acting on it, but before that, you must also know

When you must avoid it?

If you’re not sure about avoiding it or jumping in, here are some ideas…

1. Do NOT mingle if you or the other person is dating or married. That’ll bring in unwanted headaches and drama.

2. Either of you is the other’s superior. You know where things will lead if the junior gets a promotion… People will say they got it with lowly means, no need to be involved in those rumors.

3. The other person has a bad reputation, for instance, others call them a womanizer or maneater… Nuh-uh, don’t look at them.

4. If they exploited their power before for romantic relationships, they might offer to do so for you, RED LIGHT!

5. Check if your workplace doesn’t allow office romance.

Another awkward situation is…

Sexual Tension Between Friends

Friendships can lead to long-lasting happy relationships. Knowing each other’s temperament for a long time helps develop better relations.

Some experience long-term unrequited love which later develops sexual tension, some decide on settling down with a best friend.

But working on sexual tension in a friendship is hard because of uncertainties. Nobody wants to complicate a good friendship with one-sided feelings.

Insecurity always creeps in because you’re aware of each other’s crushes.

When you want to be sure, here are some…


Check for these signs if you are unsure about their feelings…

1. You guys tend to text each other more frequently.

2. A text from this friend excites you in anticipation.

3. You socialize more with this friend even on friends’ outings.

4. You guys forget the rest (in the group) and take your time away from the hustle-bustle, together.

5. The intimacy between you two is more than in the past.

6. There’s a lot of awkward eye contact and stuttering happening lately.

7. You’re no longer “bros”

If you want to take action after knowing the other person’s stance, then…

How to know if it is mutual?

Now keep your emotions aside and dive deep into their behavior. Take off those pink glasses from your eyes, else you might ruin a beautiful friendship.

Are they comfortable with your advances? Is he really more open towards you or is he only following your lead because you’re friends?

Next, ask yourself if they treat you special or are they a sweet person in general. If they are soothing others with that intense gaze and alone time, or getting their hopes high, time to move on.

They are just good at playing and tangling you in their game.

Since you are friends, there are mutual ones! Time to make good use of friends. Ask them about what’s cooking behind the scenes. They might let you in about their general dating or flirting history.

Lastly, try making some advances and observe their reaction… are they leaning into your sexual touch or brushing you off.

If you get a green signal and want to step forward, then learn…

How to deal with it if you want it to progress?

Want to step on the accelerator? Here’s how…

Prioritize your feelings, do you want a real relationship out of sexual tension, a one-night stand, or friends with benefits? Know the pros and cons of each before you step up your game.

What do you know the best about each other? What makes this person more fun for you and vice versa?

Is it a common subject, your mentality, or common life situations? What made you so close? Can it keep you close for as long as you desire?

Flirt and tease more and see how it feels. Go ahead if everything feels good from both sides.

Heat things up with more daring words. Catch them off-guard with your boldness. Don’t be direct about your intentions, let them catch up, and be on the same page.

Leading them on will not seem as bad when both of you stay consistent.

Do you think it’s a bad idea? Here’s…

How to deal with it if you don’t want it to progress?

Take these measures to end things before starting…

Stop contacting them, chop off the roots of your feelings if it’s an impossible case. Don’t meet them alone, don’t talk to them without any important topics.

Don’t let their reactions get to you. It’s only a moment of sensuality on one side and your conscience on the other.

Remind yourself what might go bad if it happened, whenever your feelings become intense. Reason out your urges with reality.

Hurting yourself or someone close because of a moment’s fleeting emotions isn’t an option.

If they insist, be honest about why you can’t entangle yourself in the mess. Mutually break off this situation and work on respective sides to sustain healthy relationships.

Remind them of their responsibilities or who they might hurt if this continues.

FAQs about Sexual Tension

Getting ideas about dealing with sexual tension or identifying might not be your only goal. If you experienced sexual tension for the first time, you’ve more questions about the rights and wrongs of these newly-found feelings before working on them.

Sexual tension isn’t wrong itself, but there might be cases when it’s inappropriate and you best avoid it. A lot of factors play before making things work between two people.

Find more information about sexual tension here…

1. Is Sexual Tension Normal?

Like adolescence, puberty, and all those hormonal fluctuations from having a crush, a steamy kiss, or anything linked with your hormones and sexual urges are not in your control. Sexual tension is similarly normal and justified.

You, my friend, will always find someone sexually attractive as long as you’re healthy.

Nobody can decide on leading a life without ever having sexual thoughts about a living person. It’s not an addiction to get rid of. Rather it is some internal organ function (which it is).

But such thoughts don’t allow anyone to harass others. The person on whom these feelings project might not reciprocate it. The human race can give or deny consent, so listen to them when you’re expressing.

Although, sexual tension is normal, forcing your feelings on others is not! You must differentiate right and wrongs about consent, nobody is another’s object. Be respectful of others’ feelings or they’ll disrespect you a few folds more.

Lust might be a “sin” yet a normal feeling, though imposing lust on others is a crime. While working on carnal desires, don’t forget we’re humans, so acting like one is a responsible person’s duty.

2. Is Sexual Tension Healthy?

First symptoms of Sexual tension mostly include innocent flirting, banters, and craving the other’s presence. So, there’s hardly any scope for anything going wrong or becoming unhealthy yet.

Meanwhile, if sexual tension is mutual and occurs naturally, that’s healthy too. Either side having consent to each other’s advances is a good start to such relationships.

But when one uses sexual tension to control the other and/or to influence others against their wishes, this defines unhealthy sexual tension. It can develop negative emotions like enmity, grudges, and fury.

Forced sexual tension and activities (aka rape) are extremely unhealthy and lead to violence and long-term mental scars. To avoid such sexual tension imposing, the imposer needs to have a healthy mindset and understand the intentions of the other well.

Sometimes hormones take charge and people forget to think rationally. They misunderstand the other person’s presentable nature as a way to seduce them… While the other person has no idea about this person’s thoughts.

This is where things go bad and this kind of sexual tension is unwanted, unhealthy, and leads to criminal offenses. Sexual abuse is a serious offense and it results in a few of the worst crimes like sex trafficking.

3. Is Sexual tension good or bad?

The sexual tension between consenting parties which doesn’t hurt any person, organization, or violate laws is good. Both sides can indulge in their desires with consent and without troubling anyone including themselves. Such tension creates positive emotions like hope for the future.

But if one of them doesn’t give consent, sexual tension results in conflict, distraction, bitterness, and sexual harassment. Every nation has respective laws about sexual contact, and everyone must keep in mind certain rules before indulging in desires.

Also, some unsaid sexual tension rules involve not using it on someone else to make your partner jealous. You must avoid involving any underage, another committed person if you’re the committed one or any other unfitting setting.

Avoid anything inappropriate in your society, culture, or workplace or hurt anyone physically, emotionally, or mentally. If you’re away from a toxic situation, and the tension doesn’t stress others, then sexual tension cannot go bad.

4. Can Other people sense Sexual tension?

Others who know you both most probably sense the sexual tension when they see you together, especially when the tension is very intense. But people don’t notice it in the initial phase when you’re feeling small signs like racing heartbeats that are very personal.

Unless someone else observes you very minutely, noticing the smaller signs is next to impossible for others. But, if you flirt with obvious visible signs like spending more time with this person or locking your eyes for a long period, everyone will catch up to your secrets.

If you’re trying to grab that person’s attention with something, others might sense it too. Unfortunately, people sometimes sense it before the one they desire.

In some situations, you don’t want others sensing this sexual tension. Take precautions to keep everything low. Avoiding others doesn’t always mean something shameful. Cutting off unnecessary drama is the aim here.

Don’t feel ashamed if you’re true to yourself because it’s a hormonal thing and every healthy human being experiences it. Even if the sexual tension is between two people of the same gender, that’s normal. As long as you don’t hurt or violate anybody, any relationships, or any law, you’re innocent.

5. What should I do if this sexual tension feels wrong?

If you don’t know what to do if the sexual tension feels wrong, then talk to that person first. Let them in on your feelings and notice their response. Take their opinions about it and think accordingly.

If opinions match, you can try hitting it off. Otherwise, take a break and work on yourself. Time will heal and change your feelings soon.

If you’re not able to talk to them, seek a common acquaintance’s help in understanding the other person’s stand on it. Someone close might know your interest’s feelings and give you tips about dealing with the situation.

This mutual friend might also warn you from red lights or cheer you on if things look positive. Don’t blame them if things go down though as they aren’t responsible for your feelings, so talk to someone trustworthy.

But if talking to someone who knows them isn’t an option, try talking to someone close who isn’t acquainted with your interest. They must know you well to advise you about this. This person can always support you emotionally and mentally no matter how things end.

For completely unbiased advice, consult a counselor. They’re professionals and will find suitable solutions for your situation better.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Human beings are the only beings with the power to think rationally and express themselves wisely. So, humans can experience animalistic desires and also respect others’ wishes.

Sexual tension is normal like other hormonal experiences, everyone experiences in their lives. It is good as long as the other party consents and your actions don’t harm anyone. Harmonizing with all aspects of life is also important while indulging in your carnal desires.

Don’t let desires fog the plain truth about the situation – it’s totally possible and things become uncontrollable from wrong decisions.

If someone else projects sexual tension on you, clearly communicate your opinion to avoid misunderstandings.

Are you interested to know more about ‘Sexual Hypnosis’ then click here?