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What is a Sexual Fantasy: Types, How to Try, Some Common Ones, and More

What is a Sexual Fantasy: Types, How to Try, Some Common Ones, and More

Updated on May 27, 2022 | Published on Feb 22, 2022

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

Sexual Fantasy - Types, How to Try, Some Common Ones, and More

Stuck on a specific sexual fantasy? Questioning your sanity because weird things turn you on? Or, do you wanna convince your partner to get on-board?

Whichever it is, glad that you looked it up… because this think-piece is your one-stop solution for everything?

Whether you’re concerned about your taboo fantasies or want to find ways to spice your sex life… you’ll find everything here!

From your worries over the reasons behind the fantasies… to your thoughts about which you can turn into reality, I’ll spill it all here.

Also, if you’re worried, nothing’s normal with fantasizing about sex!

Let’s open the doors to an exciting new world here…

Sexual Fantasy Infographics

Sexual Fantasy - Definition, Types & Why Do We Have Sexual Fantasies
Sexual Fantasy – Definition, Types & Why Do We Have Sexual Fantasies
Common sexual Fantasies you must try with your partner
Common sexual Fantasies you must try with your partner

What is a sexual fantasy?

Summary
Sexual fantasies are erotic images that help you get aroused and release pent-up energy. They don’t always relate to your real-life desires and depend on your personality, attachment style, and culture.

Sexual fantasies are sensual mental visuals or thought patterns. A person’s sexual fantasy arouses them… defines what kind of scenario might turn them on.

Though turning all sexual fantasies real isn’t possible, there’s nothing wrong with only fantasizing about them.

According to social psychologist Justin Lehmiller’s research, your sex fantasies are an image of your

1. Personality

In your fantasies, your personality might become the opposite of the real one. If you’re in control of your life and family, you might fantasize about being submissive.

An introvert fantasizes about being an extrovert.

However, an extrovert might not dream about being an introvert.

2. Attachment style

People with anxious attachment styles fantasize about being someone without being worried about rejection.

And those with avoidant attachment styles – with intimacy issues – emotionally distanced others in their fantasies. Also, their fantasies were void of romance.

3. Cultural identity

Men’s fantasies include superior genitals… women and homosexual and bisexual men’ fantasized about altered body parts. 

Men and women fantasize mainly about how their cultural media depicts the ideal male or female body.

Let’s understand better with some…


Sexual fantasy examples

Some sexual fantasies are possible in real life, while some aren’t… There are also illegal ones. But they’re just fantasies, so if you don’t try to fulfill them, you’re good to go.

  • A heterosexual man fantasizes about giving oral sex to a man.
  • You fantasize about public sex even when it’s illegal.
  • You desire tentacle sex though it’s impossible. 
  • You fantasize about cheating on your partner although you won’t in reality.
  • Your desire being bound and raped by a hot stranger, though you don’t want to be raped in reality.

Do you know there are specific categories to your sexual fantasies…


Types of sexual fantasies

As per Dr. Lehmiller’s experiment on over 4000 subjects, there are seven different types of sexual fantasies.

Again you can treat those categories in three ways. You either keep it to yourself, share it with your partner on the go, or turn it into reality.

Wanna know if yours is possible? Let’s find out here…

1. Multiple partner sex

This is when more than two people have sex together… what pop-culture calls threesomes when there are three people, and orgies, with uncountable people.

It’s also called group sex… and is an extremely common sexual fantasy.

It’s stimulating because multiple people desire you… and there’s nothing wrong about it.

What to do about it?

This fantasy falls into all three categories….

1. Let it stay a fantasy if you’re not serious.

2. Take your partner’s consent and say dirty stuff about the fantasy during sex. Don’t actually act on it, but use it to turn yourselves on.

3. If you wanna turn it real, look for interested people online for group sex. 

Also, discuss if it’ll be a one-time rendezvous or not with your partner when you break it to your partner.

2. BDSM

Also stands for bondage, discipline, dominance-submission, sadism, and masochism. Everyone is hush-hush about it, but many people fantasize about it. 

The idea of BDSM is about controlling and being controlled sexually and consensually.

People are more curious about it due to the taboo nature of the controlling dynamics.

Also, it involves punishment sex (faux rape) in a taboo relationship, like teacher-student, stepmom-son, step-siblings.

It includes a wide range of toys like blindfolds, whips… and everything else you read in Fifty Shades of Grey.

What to do about it?

1. Keep it a fantasy if your partner doesn’t agree.

2. Consensually talk dirty about how you wanna *insert your desires* do to them during sex

3. Discuss your desires with your partner and take consent to enact them. Set boundaries, settle on desired role plays, and create a safe word.

Begin it slowly to avoid mishaps and always check-in.

3. Novelty, adventure, and variety

It’s about having sex in a new position, surface, toy, or even in public. Anything that’s new, sounds adventurous, and spices up your sex life fall in this type.

Some people feel thrilled due to the adrenaline rush of doing something new. Also, novelty keeps the thrill alive in long-term relationships.

So, don’t hide your fantasies, learn to explore them well!

What to do about it?

1. Talk sensitively to your partner so they don’t take offense. Don’t make them feel inadequate… it must be fun for you both.

2. Know their thoughts… Are they as excited? If they feel uncomfortable, don’t talk them into it. Otherwise, go ahead and choose your fun.

3. Look up the law. Public sex is illegal in the US, so mind the laws before fun.

4. Gender-bending and sexual flexibility

Both are fantasies about you or your partner breaking through the sexual orientation boundaries.

In gender-bending, people have sexual fantasies of becoming or dressing like the opposite sex.  Sexual fluidity fantasies involve people without a specific or permanent sexual orientation.

You may find it attractive since you become different personalities of different genders. You might feel a sense of freedom and creativity in such fantasies.

It might be linked with your inner desires to become someone else, or your wish to defy cultural expectations.

What to do about it?

Though you can’t change your gender often, talk with your partner about it. If your partner supports you, pick up roleplaying different genders as you desire in your personal life.

Society might not accept you, but when your partner does… it won’t matter anymore. Also, it might be a sign of your gender identity.

5. Non-monogamy

Various types of ethical non-monogamy (ENM) are gaining popularity slowly, like polyamory, open relationships, throuples, swinging, and so on.

Despite being monogamous, it might be a huge turn-on for you. For instance, you might consensually desire sleeping outside your relationship, or fantasize about your partner doing it. 

Also, in Lehmiller’s experiment, not even 0.5% said cheating turned them on.

What to do about it?

1. If you’re unsure, don’t express it in your monogamous relationship.

2. To turn it into reality, first, know your desires. Do you wanna love more people (polyamory)? Or, do you just want sex (open relationships)?

Talk to your partner… tread with sensitivity, don’t expect them to give in. If you prioritize non-monogamy over your partner, break up.

3. If you feel like cheating on your partner, find out if you’re unsatisfied. Try working on it, or consult a certified sex therapist.

6. Passion, romance, and intimacy

It’s about fantasies where you and your partner drown in immense romance. You might fantasize about emotionally connecting with your partner in a mountainside wooden cabin… or simply about a candlelight dinner.

It’s more about loving and being loved… not just about sex.

What to do about it?

1. If you’re in a relationship and don’t feel loved enough… express your feelings to your partner. Spend quality time, bond emotionally, nurture intimacy during sex… try out positions where you maintain eye contact a lot. Learn your love lingo together.

2. For the singles out there, treat yourself well. Be it good food, a sauna, or touching yourself sensually in a romantic ambiance.

7. Taboo or forbidden sex

It mostly includes doing culturally or socially “bad or forbidden” things. Now what exactly can get you in trouble… depends on your culture.

Exhibitionism – showing off your privates, voyeurism – watching others having sex with or without consent are few ideas.

What to do about it?

1. Never practice taboo without others’ consent. Doing any sexual acts without consent is illegal.

2. Communicate with your partner about your sexual desires. If they’re on board, consider roleplaying. Or, visit an orgy party or sex club of your preference.

3. If there’s no such club around you, enjoy sexual acts in front of multiple mirrors. You might feel similar sensations from your own image.

But…


Why do we have sexual fantasies?

Some believe your fantasies define how frustrated you are. Others say it’s a sign you need to get laid. Well, usually your sexual fantasies are a reflection of your real-life desires and kinkiness.

But there are more reasons like…

1. You need it to get aroused

You might fantasize about certain sexual instances simply turn yourself on. Some people find it difficult to get into the groove without fantasizing.

2. You’re interested in exotic fantasies

Sometimes people fantasize about sex because they’re curious. They want to know how their body might react to different things.

3. You’re dissatisfied in reality

If you’re not content with your real-life sexual activities, then you might resort to fantasies to let off steam. And that’s entirely natural.

4. You deny reality

When you can’t enjoy being yourself or satisfy yourself in reality, fantasy it is! You get away from reality for a few moments and immerse in extreme pleasure through sex fantasies.

5. You realize the forbidden things

Society labeled numerous things right and wrong. There are many completely normal fantasies your culture is against.

And there are ones that are uncomfortable universally like parent-child sex.

Sexual fantasy helps you experience them.

6. It’s a future plan

If it’s possible, you might fantasize about sex now and plan to make it a reality later. You might go with the flow now, but to make things steamy, fantasies help a lot.

7. It’s your relaxation method

Yep! That’s totally normal because when you release sexual energy, your nerves relax. Some people even sleep better after intense pleasure… which is best possible from fantasies.

8. You wanna up the confidence

Sexual fantasies where multiple people desire you boost sexual confidence. If you feel that you’re sexually unattractive, such fantasies can make wonders for your life.

9. You wanna be happy

Some people feel that they miss sexual encounters because of their personality or circumstances. Perhaps, you can’t get attention due to your introverted nature.

You might fantasize about being an extroverted alpha… to feel happy in life. It doesn’t imply you’re sad in reality, but there’s always a what if… which leads you to fantasies.

10. You wanna push away boredom

Some people simply feel bored with their monotonous sex life. So, whenever they have time, they fantasize.

They feel excited sexually to compensate for the overall boredom of life.

Should you work on all fantasies? Let’s know here…


When to act on sexual fantasies?

Summary
If a sexual element intrudes your mind both when you fantasize and don’t, that’s the signal to act on them.

According to Lehmiller’s deduction, some sexual fantasies are a reflection of your wild imaginations. They neither have inner meanings nor is it a sign to enact them.

If you consciously feel content with your current life but have a cheating fantasy… that isn’t a sign to do that.

Your fantasies are images of random brain signals to feel aroused. Just how you randomly remember an embarrassing past… even when it has no connection with your present.

However, if you incorporate a recent thought in your fantasies, consider it.

Suppose, you thought of adding a kinky element in your relationship and fantasized about it… time to talk to your partner about the change.

So, when do your deepest desires become threatening? Let’s know here…


When sexual fantasies are a cause of concern?

You might have socially or culturally unacceptable sexual fantasies… but that’s alright because they’re just fantasies.

As long as you don’t integrate uncommon sexual fantasies with reality, it’s alright. But it’s an issue when

  • You feel a compulsion to fulfill dark fantasies like sex with children or family members
  • You waste a lot of time fantasizing that you forget living a normal well-routine life
  • Your fantasies hurt your performance in professional or personal life
  • You have relationship conflict because you can’t turn them true
  • You only feel aroused while fantasizing. You don’t feel the urge to have sex with your partner.

When any of these happen, your sexual fantasies are concerning. Seek a licensed sex therapist to address your issue ASAP.

Wanna realize your lustful fantasies? Time to know…


How to talk about sexual fantasy?

Communication is always the best way when you wanna spice your relationship. But your tactics matter when it’s about something as sensitive as sex. 

Different situations are possible… like your partner not wanting it, or your partner misunderstanding your intentions.

To avoid any misunderstanding in your perfect relationship, follow these…

1. Use your voice

Spill the beans about your fantasies with your partner. Instead of saying “I wanna try BDSM” say “I might be fond of this… it was on my mind for a while”.

Suggest it mildly and notice your partner’s reaction. They’ll ask for more details so be prepared to talk it out in detail.

Also, when you try something new, check for their discomfort. After the first attempt of fulfilling the desires, discuss your experience.

2. Research together

Before trying, research well about it. For instance, verify the legality of all the sexual activities. Learn potential benefits and drawbacks of your common fantasies.

Find what each of you wants for sexual satisfaction. Check the safety level of any sexual behavior before engaging in it.

3. Build boundaries for safety

Whether you have one or more partner(s), always prioritize safe sex practices. Determine what kind of barriers you’ll implement to prevent STIs and STDs.

Also, find out sexual hygiene practices. For instance, women must pee after sex to avoid UTIs. Avoid douching for anal or regular sex.

You’ll find plenty more safety rules so look them up.

4. Practice the safe word

Settle on a safe word… however, you might be too absorbed in the activity to notice when your partner uses it. Before beginning, use the safe word in regular life to check your reflex.

For instance, when you’re doing something wrong in a nonsexual context… encourage your partner to use the safe word. Your brain will register the word faster if you use it regularly.

5. Slow down to renegotiate

Suppose you’re ready to begin… you begin, but find it uncomfortable. Obviously, stop when you hear the safe word… and discuss the issues first.

If something seems wrong, call an ambulance… don’t hide anything. If your partner hates it, empathize with them. Don’t force them,  take it slow and easy with consent.

They agreed? Congratulations! So, here are some…


Common sexual fantasies you must try with your partner

Your interests might urge your partner to research more about sexual fantasies. So, why don’t you both take a look together?

Also, you’ll become more intimate with your partner when you become so open and honest about your feelings.

Since chivalry isn’t dead yet, let’s begin with the ladies…

Womens sexual fantasies

Whether your woman seems meek and cute during sex,  or she’s an animal… she might desire a change in her regular lifestyle. Let’s see if you find the perfect change here…

1. The Dominatrix

Blindfold and tie your partner up… pull up your dominating socks and get your whip out. Use the toys on your sub partner and make them beg for more.

Become the ultimate dominatrix to your partner and boost your sexual confidence. Experience the freedom of being in charge of your bed.

Control your partner’s orgasm and help them feel the unforgettable orgasm.

2. Quickie behind the guest

A guest intruded on you while you felt naughty? Don’t blame them for being a cock-blocker. Turn the TV on for your guest and ask your partner to help out in the kitchen.

Get your bottoms off and show your partner where to help 😉. Make sure you’re not completely visible to your guest.

Maybe they can see your face while your partner does the work.

3. Erotic Massage

Ask your partner to give you a full body massage…yep! Just the massage… shave down there, lay down on your stomach, and enjoy. Your partner will eventually notice the wetness down there! 😉

While you relax, their naughty bits will itch. Wait until they inch towards the risqué areas… don’t worry, they will! When their moves become noticeable, grab their genitals to urge them for more.

4. Tied and roughed up

If you fantasize about non-consensual sex, make your partner tie you up and play rape-y. Set a date when you return later than your partner. Ask them to attack you right when you enter.

Pick you up from the doorway as soon as you close the door, tie you, and get on with the nasty deed.

Well, you may scream your lungs out to make it realistic… don’t worry the neighbors though.

5. Sex in trial rooms

Take your partner shopping with you. Ask them to choose the sexiest outfits for you. When you settle on about 7-8 clothing articles, enter the changing room.

Begin your ramp walk with the most covered dress. Wear the skimpiest one halfway and ask them to help you.

Slip the dress off your body when they enter and get on with your business!

6. Parking lot car sex

If you guys have a car, put it to good use. Park your car in the parking complex and wait to check if anyone’s around.

When the coast is clear, shut the car windows. If it’s not a one-sided window, pull the blinds.

Go rabbits at your car quickie in the middle of a parking lot. Don’t stop even if you hear footsteps. 😉

7. A walk with a vibrator inside

If you only want the thrill of “being found out” but aren’t an exhibitionist… Here’s an idea for you. Put a bullet vibrator or a vibrating egg inside you. Keep the remote with your partner and board a full train.

Your partner must switch it on and play with the high and low settings. Don’t sit down even if there are empty seats.

Enjoy the sensations while standing. If your legs give away, lean on your partner.

8. Getting the but plugged

This one isn’t too kinky if you tried it before. If anal got your heart, and you’re new to it… ask your partner to force it in you during sex.

Have them suddenly plug your rear while you ride them.

If you’re lucky, you’ll pass out from sensory overload. Or, enjoy the feeling of double penetration with this marvelous toy.

9.  Fingered in a full elevator

There’s always a line for shopping mall elevators… those are always full. Go to the mall with a short skirt, tight tee, and underwear-less.

Stay towards the back and make your partner finger you, hard!

Your nipples will get hard and obvious through your clothes once you’re turned on. If nobody notices, signal them to pinch your nipples. Have fun shopping with sticky legs.

10. Multi-attention on boobs

Find some soft and hard toys for nipples like feathers, vibrators, and clamps. Make your partner use them on you to reach ultimate pleasure.

If you’re into nonmonogamy, ask all of your partners to pay attention to your breasts.

This works best for people with sensitive breasts. Fix a day for breast-play alone. Challenge yourself to climax from your boobs only.

Time out for women, now it’s time for…

Mens sexual fantasies

Men mostly want to do the unachievable… no! This isn’t an insult, but that’s how wild you get with your imaginations.

Further, your fantasies are just perfect to stir up your partner… don’t you think so?

Let’s check how horny these get you…

11. Employee-Boss duo

Ever felt your partner’s office outfit is too sexy for your balls? Role-play as your partner’s boss and then your secretary. Wear your office outfits and order them around.

Punish them for their mistakes with a good spanking. Think they didn’t learn? Pinch their nipples until they learn from their mistakes.

Ram your hardness inside them while they redo the work.

12. The Naughty Nurse

Want a hot woman’s care? Get your partner a sexy nurse outfit. Lie down on your back while your woman… ahem, nurse… examines you very closely… from the tip of your toes to your ero zones.

Squirm under their curious gaze. Make her ask you what feels good. Ask her what you like, a caress, small sips, a death grip, or a deep throat.

Another common men’s fantasy is playing cops. Wear a cop uniform, bend your partner over your lap.

Tell them they’re the prime suspect of a drug-dealing case… and they must cooperate.

Cuff them up and check if they’re hiding anything in their mouth, under their clothes, or inside any other cavity of their body… punish them as you seem fit.

14. Stocking tearing

Some men are into tearing their lover’s stockings… rings a bell? As soon as your partner returns from work grab them from behind and throw them in the bed.

Tear up their stockings, remove their undies and work wonders with your tongue. Lap them up with your tongue and fingers. Ram inside them when they’re ready.

Also, don’t forget to get them a new pair.

15. Ask for a hand

If you like simple fantasies, ask your partner for a hand job or oral sex. Your partner might not agree, so be prepared for rejection.

Know their perception and if it’s some unknown fear, help them overcome it. Also, if they’re bold, take this outside of the house. Do it in public restrooms, or even in your car.

16. Threesome

Have a crush on your wife’s best friend? A threesome with two women is every man’s erotic fantasy.

If they both give consent, have the best sesh of your life while pleasuring two women at once.

For an irresistible view, ask the friend to have oral sex or 69 with your wife. Also, decide if it’s a one-time thing or you want to continue it for a while.

17. Anal sex

Whether you want it for yourself, or wanna knock your partner’s rear, gotta take their consent. Find out if you want toys for anal (for yourself) or will penetrate your partner yourself.

Look up some tips before trying the deed. There are plenty of videos and other resources for ideas.

Also, a sex therapist might give you better and more original ideas about anal.

18. Use multiple vibrators

Get three egg vibrators and tape them on your partner’s nipples and clitoris. Don’t switch them on from the beginning. Enjoy a regular sex sesh while they anticipate the click.

When they seem close to climax, switch on all the vibrators together. Just when your partner reaches cloud nine, pull out. Let them climax from the vibrators alone.

19. Oral when she isn’t into it

If your partner doesn’t like to get you oral, it’s time to ask for that special favor. Tell her how you think it’s hot to imagine them going down on you… that the thought gets you going.

Plead them for it and promise them anything they want for it. Other than keeping the promise, do something really sweet for them. They’ll surprise you from time to time 😉.

20. Scientist and test subject

Tie up your partner on the bed or a table… they’re your test subject. And you’re the mad scientist who’ll run naughty and crazy tests on the subject.

Tease your partner with all possible toys or even edibles. Slurp on your subject’s body, make the scared subject beg for more. If they don’t behave, punish them with your special tool.

Are all fantasies this straightforward? Maybe not! Let’s check some…

Dark sexual fantasies

We can’t deny, there’s a bit of darkness in all of us. But is it possible to turn them true? That depends, mate… after all, it’s about how you guys feel. 

Hurry, let’s explore your darkness…

21. The triple penetration

Ever thought about a foursome with three men? One of them is doing your vagina, the other your anus, and oral with the other one?

Bring the thought up to your partner and notice their reaction. If they agree, good to go. If not, don’t force them or cheat on them. Make them choke your three cavities with all their might.

22. Disciplining the student

You can’t do it with a real student, so get your partner a uniform. Scold them for their poor results and demand to meet their parents.

When they beg you to not involve the parents, blackmail into doing nasty things. Confiscate their underwear, undo three buttons from the top, and make them do laundry on the open lawn.

23. Cuckolding

Cuckolding is having sexual activity with another person in front of your partner. Do you wanna be cuckolded or cuckold your partner?

Discuss if they’re alright with it and bring in one or more people.

Masturbate while your partner gets rammed or rams another person. If you feel too heated, or can’t handle it, join them along.

24. Abducted and banged

When your partner returns from work, wait around the entrance. The moment they unlock the door, put a handkerchief on their face and push them inside.

Tie them to the balcony railing and undo their clothes. Turn off the balcony lights, in case exhibitionism is illegal. Have your way with them until they pass out.

25. Publicly molesting a stranger

You and your partner board a train separately. When the train gets a little crowded, lightly brush your partner’s intimate areas and apologize for it.

Continue the charade until you get your hands in their underwear. Slowly finger/rub them into a drippy mess.

Tease them to force their voice out. Play with their body and enjoy the thrill of getting caught.

26. Robbery went wrong

Enact a robbery when your partner is asleep. When they wake up to check out the noise, grab them in a tight grip and tape their mouth so they can’t scream.

Next, tie their hands to the bedpost so they can’t get away. Have your way with them while they apologize, and beg you to leave with all the jewelry and cash.

27. The Nude Servant

Make your partner do regular chores wearing an apron without any clothes. Make them scrub harder to see their hanging intimate areas jiggle.

Ask them to keep working while you play with their body. If they stop working from excess pleasure, spank them or pinch their nipples hard. Make them work while you enjoy yourself.

28. Wear special yoga pants

Get naughty crotchless yoga pants that have an invisible opening near the crotch. Go jogging with your partner early in the morning.

When you find somewhere public but with no people around, show your partner how your pants work.

Have sex early morning in the open area… with the fear of getting caught by someone.

Or, masturbate alone and let your partner role-play a stranger. The stranger rapes you when they find you being naughty.

29. Same ol’ exhibitionism

Visit an exhibitionism club around you. Wear transparent clothing, a collar, let your partner hold on to the reins, walk around the club in your state.

Others come up to your partner to ask if they can have you. Your partner allows them to touch you all they want, but penetration isn’t allowed.

All of this must happen consensually… and there must be a safe word.

30. Public gangbang

Firstly, know if your partner consents to the idea. Are they comfortable with your friends?

Though public gangbang might not be legal, you can improvise it. Rent out a private property with an open pool. Have sex in the open areas where people are present/

Or, rent out a tent and have sex inside it in a picnic spot. Separate your deeds from the people with a thin tent.

And then there are the bizarre ones… which totally doesn’t make sense… but no judging, so move on to…

Weird sexual fantasies

Some fantasies are weird, you can’t deny them… it’s just your fantasy, not reality so no shaming, no hard feelings. However, trying to realize them will be hard!

Let’s see if we can work things out…

31. The headphones and oral combo

Some people have a particular sex song… they enjoy sex to the music. Let’s change this idea with only you listening to music while your partner gives you oral.

Reach your climax on the beats of the music. If music distracts you, the frustration of not climaxing will help you climax hard.

Also, whenever you listen to this music, sexy memories will come back to you.

32. Use Fantasy Cards

Write down each of your fantasies on a card. Shuffle the cards well and choose one card each. Mix both fantasies and create a new one.

If any of them aren’t possible, pull out another card. Sex must be enjoyable, not uncomfortable. If groupies are out of the question, don’t put them in the cards.

Consent didn’t leave the chat yet! Take consent from your partner to touch them while they’re asleep.

Once they’re out like a baby, get down and dirty on them. Do whatever you have consent for.

If intercourse is on the table too, enjoy every bit of it. If they don’t mind giving oral while asleep, don’t hesitate.

34. Sex dessert

Who do you love more? Chocolate or your partner? Why not both? Bring in chocolate or your favorite dessert and cover your partner with it.

Prepare your sexy dessert yourself and dig in! Your partner can lay still on their back while you nibble on the food, or pleasure them while sucking the dessert off them.

35. Make the play dead

If you have necrophilia – getting aroused from corpses – ask your partner to play dead. You can’t do that for real unless you’re in North Carolina or Louisiana.

So, compromise with role-playing instead. Get proper props like blood and fake scar. Stick it on your partner’s body and ask them to play dead.

They aren’t perfect actors so don’t expect excellent performance. Instead, be grateful for their understanding and cooperation.

36. Add a tragic scene

Some people have a fetish for disasters, tragedies, and near-death accidents… It’s called symphorophilia. Stage a scene of a disaster or watch it in a movie or VR to get yourself going.

Ask your partner to help you masturbate while you enjoy the tragic scene on your preferred device. If your partner doesn’t like it, stick to VR… else it’ll turn them off big time.  

37. Crush them into a squash

If you have a fetish for crushing small objects, keep living things off the table. Usually, women have such fetishes where they use their heels for it.

Invest in small inanimate objects, soft toys, scrap parts… don’t hurt animals. If you feel turned on with this, seek medical help.

Or, if you don’t want to, crush objects only behind closed doors. Also, consider your partner’s thoughts.

38. Tentacle sex

This is a highly common one in this section. People fantasize about having sex with organisms with multiple tentacles.

You need multiple partners for this one. Blindfold yourself, and ask your partners to suck your skin all over.

Other than penetration and sucking, make them use a slimy massage oil yourself to simulate tentacle sex.

39. Voyeurism

If you have an open relationship or practice nonmonogamy, try voyeurism. Role-play a peeping tom while your partner has sex with another person.

Voyeurism is peeping on strangers, but that might not be legal in your state. However, if you find such a couple, go ahead. Return to your partner turned on and enjoy bomb sex.

40. Swap Gender

If your sexual fantasies are about gender-bending or sexual fluidity, this one’s for you. Dress up the male with sexy lingerie, makeup, high heels, and the female with men’s clothing.

Reverse your characters in the bedroom and get the best out of two worlds. Penetrate the male partner with a dildo, pay special attention to their nipples, and ask them what they like.

Lastly, the ones that were around forever…

There are some sexual fantasies that are evergreen… possibly they were around in porn sites even when you were underage!

And usually, you’ll see the most reactions or downloads of such videos. 

Think you can make this fantasy yours? Let’s know…

41. The Spy Interrogation

Role-play as a spy where you interrogate your tied partner for the secret data. But your partner is also a spy who’d rather give up their lives than the info.

However, you have other ways to break your opponent’s confidence. You slowly tear away their clothing bit by bit for every wrong answer.

Since they won’t give you info, you’ll take pleasure as payment for your hard work.

42. Edging

Edging is a very common sexual action where you bring your partner close to orgasm, but stop. Repeat this multiple times until your partner feels frustrated and begs for release.

This also helps amplify the intensity of the orgasm. Don’t do this without consent or your partner might misunderstand your intentions.

Also, be open to receiving the same in case your partner wants a fair game.

43. Sex with an ex

Sometimes do you feel that your ex was a god(dess) in bed? Do you miss the old times? Well, if your partner feels alright about this fantasy and your ex consents, make an arrangement.

But tread very carefully so that your current partner doesn’t feel inadequate or insulted. Make sure you focus on your current partner more even if your ex treats you better.

This is a risky one, don’t let fantasies ruin reality.

44. Blending pleasure and pain

Pleasure and pain are two sides of the same coin. Of course, Fifty Shades of Grey taught us enough about that… Did the trilogy overwhelm your senses?

Try out candles, nipple clamps, paddles and floggers, temperature play, and plenty more. Push your boundaries to the max to explore different possibilities.

Of course, don’t ditch on the safe word and keep it slow.

45. Destination sex

If you’re into romantic stuff, book two flight tickets and a room at your favorite destination. It might be a mountainside cabin, or a beachside one.

Take one with the best view to indulge in emotional intimacy. If you have any idea of proposing to your partner, or any special day is around, this works equally well.

Fulfill your fantasies and surprise your partner with a sweet gesture together.

46. Tape yourself

Do you find recording yourself attractive? There’s always the possibility of leaking the tape… does that make you feel horny? If yes, then this is the best for you.

Turn your recording gadgets on to feel the thrill. Also, you can use this as material for solo sex later. But for now, enjoy the thrill of millions of people wanking to you.

47. Cosplay

Have a favorite game, fiction, or anime characters? Maybe one that you wanna get dirty with? Introduce your partner to the character, find or make the character‘s costumes.

Cosplay can help you up your kink game. Once you get in the suit, you’ll find yourself acting differently. So, help your partner know the character well.

If they’re into the character well, you’ll have the best experience.

48. Enact your favorite scene

Have a favorite sex scene? Something out there that always gets you wet? Did you like how the sex was rough yet romantic?

Or, did you love the ambiance? Or do you wanna try something from the scene?

Let your partner in on the fabulous idea to get going. Shop for the important elements together and feel the excitement oozing.

49. Have fun in the air

Book flight tickets to anywhere… sneak inside the toilet with your partner together. The thrill of getting caught and doing it so high in the air will excite you further.

Careful that you don’t make much noise, or get caught by flight attendants.

The flight attendants can unlock the washroom from outside. Keep hush to avoid embarrassment… Also, they might ban you from using their services.

50. Watch them on the go

Masturbate in front of each other, command each other your moves, but don’t touch each other. Sounds plain? You’ll have a hard time keeping your hands to yourself!

You can’t resist your partner’s flushed face and steamy breaths. You’ll feel like jumping on them, but gotta control yourself. Tease yourself until you’re really out of your mind.

Indulge in a steamy sesh only when you can’t handle it.

That wasn’t the end of it… you’re bound to be more curious about it. Let’s move on to…

FAQs about sexual fantasies

There’s more to know about the topic. Whether your fantasies are common for your gender only… or what’s common to the other gender… read on for more info here…

1. Does sexual fantasy vary with gender?

Many fantasies are common despite gender and sexual orientation. The frequency of the same fantasy might alter from person to person.

In women, romantic fantasies and BDSM are more frequent than others. In men, infidelity, nonmonogamy, and taboos are more popular.

2. How do people see themselves in sexual fantasies?

Most women, homosexual and bisexual men fantasized about changing their bodies more than hetero men.

A higher percentage of men desired enhanced genitals than women. This included homosexual and bisexual men too.

Men fantasize about the past about their younger selves. Women reported more fantasies about their future selves.

Homosexual and bisexual men fantasized more about change in personalities.

Men fantasize about being sub while women about being a dom.

3. What if my fantasies aren’t compatible with my partner’s?

Search for other ways to sexually arouse yourself when you have conflicting fantasies. Look for other things that turn you on.

If that doesn’t work either, accept that you’re sexually incompatible. Return to the mainstream way of having sex, or open your relationship.

Your partner might try out your fantasies, but don’t coerce them into it.

If your fetish is one of the many desires, compromise with it. However,  if it’s compulsory for your arousal, but can’t open the relationship, consult a sex therapist.

4. What influences sexual fantasies?

Sexual fantasies are more about creativity than what people want in real life. For instance, in 2019, Pornhub’s annual review, they found alien sex was their top search.

So, it’s more about what your subconscious mind inclines toward. It’s about having the sexual freedom to do the impossible.

For instance, some people fantasize about cultural taboo which isn’t illegal… because it’s termed bad or forbidden. It’s somewhat similar to rebelling in adolescence.

The person fantasizing feels a sense of liberation inside. Since nobody got the chance to know or judge their imagination.

5. What’s the most common sexual fantasy?

As per Justin Lehmiller’s study, the most common sexual fantasy in all genders is threesome or group sex. Whether they realized this fantasy or not, this was common in everyone.

The next common one was BDSM.

Let’s head on to something interesting…

Sexual Fantasy Statistics

Sexual Fantasy Statistics
Sexual Fantasy Statistics (Sources – National Library of Medicine, Sex and Psychology)

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Whether you can turn your sexual fantasy into reality or not, don’t bother about it. Sexual fantasies are quite normal for right about everyone.

So, don’t let anybody shame you for what your naughty parts are like… it’s your body, your imagination, and you hurt nobody!

However, if your fantasies are illegal or immoral, yet you feel like fulfilling them… time to seek support from a sex therapist.

Never work on a wrong fantasy. Don’t hurt your or others’ lives.

Also, a partner’s consent to your desires isn’t a lifetime promise. Remember consent isn’t a one-time thing.

Prioritize both your and your partner’s physical and emotional health.

Are you interested to know more about ‘Sexual Hypnosis’ then click here?

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