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How to Flirt? In-person, on Text, with a Coworker, Friend, or Even a Stranger.

How to Flirt? In-person, on Text, with a Coworker, Friend, or Even a Stranger.

Updated on Oct 21, 2022

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

How to Flirt - In-person, on Text, with a Friend, or Even a Stranger

Do you want to know how to flirt properly? Perhaps, you’re new in this dating scene or you’re thinking about signing up on a dating site?

If flirting intimidates you or makes you sweaty, It’s possibly because you know “the first impression makes the last one”. 

But I’m here to show you the ropes through this. 

I appreciate that you’re learning how to flirt instead of blabbering whatever comes on your mind

You’re already a step ahead in your flirting game!

But first of all, gather your courage and confidence. I believe you’ll ace this in no time… So without delaying anymore, let’s start with…

How to Flirt Infographic

How to Flirt In-person, on Text, with a Friend, or Even a Stranger
How to Flirt In-person, on Text, with a Friend, or Even a Stranger

How to Flirt in Person?

Flirting face to face seems like a huge burden, right? I beg to differ though.

You’ll see all the expressions of your crush first hand instead of imagining them and figuring them out on the other side. So, first…

Step 1: Let your eyes do some talking

When you look deep into their eyes, it naturally showcases your interest in them. It’ll catch them off-guard and highlight your presence.

But, “deep” doesn’t mean that you need to stare… it comes off as too creepy and is a huge turn-off!

Instead, look at them from time to time… trust me, they’ll notice it.

Once you get through this, make more eye contact during serious conversations. Show them you’re not just a flirt, you can pay attention when needed.

You’ll make a bomb impression if you show some skills along the lines of your conversation.

Tease them across the room with eyebrow-raising, winks, and shyly looking away.

Step 2: Smile to invite them in

Don’t just keep your smiles limited to when you talk to them, smile even when you pass by them or when your eyes “co-incidentally” find them in the crowd.

Once again, NO OVERDOING! Keep a few things in mind like…

Read the situation well: They won’t notice it if they’re busted with work all through the day.

Let the smile reflect in your eyes: Don’t just smile because you have to, in fact, show how happy you are.

Smile lazily: Express you’re comfortable around them with a smile, otherwise, you’ll look too tense for the flirting.

Smile with the gaze: If they catch you looking at them, don’t forget to drop a smile before you get back to your business.

Step 3: Don’t forget the real talking

How are they responding? If they didn’t express any kind of discomfort, you must now TALK.

If you threw some smiles and got caught while staring, it’s time to kick off with an introduction (if you’re not quite familiar).

Introduce yourself: 

“Hey, Matt here! You’re…?”

 Ask for their name if they’re unfamiliar with you.

Utter their name with a compliment: 

“Amelia. That’s such a cute name!”

If they speak a different language, brush up on it.

You might want to stay mysterious but the longer you wait, the more it escalates from flirting to a stalker-like attitude.

They might look for you themselves if things went well but it’s a shaky bet.

Step 4: Strike a conversation

If you are unfamiliar, start a conversation about the current occurrences: 

“Can’t believe the air-conditioning isn’t working in this weather!”

If you have any common interests then use them to break the ice. You might ask for their assistance in something or just talk about the subject itself.

Just be inviting and open enough to make anything interesting into a “flirtatious topic”.

If this person doesn’t react to your invitations, don’t blame your luck!

They’re not interested in your advances, so it’s time to back off with intact dignity.

But if they do, you establish a connection. Great job clearing this round!

Step 5: Stay calm, collected, and casual

Continue with the neutral topics. It’s still too early to get down and personal, mate! Also, you can keep the conversation going if you stick to the fun side.

Unless the person themselves brings up topics about past relationships, finances, faith, or academics DON’T STEP ON THESE LANDMINES!

Now YOU stop acting nervous! If they’re interacting with you that means you made a good impression so far.

Behave the way you do with your friends. After all, this person is a friend too, right?

Show off your goofy side to win this person’s trust. If they’re laughing around you, it’s a good sign.

Step 6: Invite them with friendly gestures

You must pay attention to your crush with your mind and body equally. Remember, your body language can make all the difference.  


Face your crush with your entire body. Your feet must face them too, not the other side. Avoid giving off a distant vibe with crossed legs or arms.

Your hair is like a weapon in your flirting technique. Men, brush your fingers through your hair to appeal more.

Women, you have the extra benefit of playing with your hair to express nervousness. You of course want to flaunt that tension brewing between the both of you.

Knock them out with these subtle gestures.

BUT AGAIN! Good things come in small amounts, so don’t overdo anything.

Step 7: Smash that touch barrier

Next comes breaking through the physical defense! During a conversation with a girl, touch her non-sexually on shoulders, arms, or back.

The same goes for touching men, don’t sexualize the first contact.

Perhaps, you can bump into them in a crowded place? Make sure your crush isn’t holding a cup of coffee before you do that. Don’t spoil the mood with this “mistake”.

Let your legs brush or thighs contact when you’re sitting side-by-side.

Keep the contact refined even if your hormones go overboard. Don’t come off too strong, you’ll scare them away.

Non-sexual contacts can either cozy up your crush or, they might refuse you respectfully.

Step 8: Bypass the friend zone

Many people love to refuse with a…

“Oh you’re a great person, but I like you as a friend” or “It’s not you, it’s me”.

Long story short, we gotta change that from the beginning!

Flatter them and don’t forget to maintain eye contact. Say it as you mean it from the beginning.

The more you’re clear about your intentions, the farther you go from the ridiculous friend zone.

Don’t praise women for their figure to avoid the “pervert” label.

Lower your volume to make it sound dreamier.

Also, read their mood. If he/she is sad with their current relationship, hit them up with:

“Nobody understands until they lose something precious… like you.”

Step 9: Don’t drag it unnecessarily

You’ll save yourself from awkward silences if you keep the conversations short and hearty.

Also, if you act sweet for too long – umm… they’ll probably think you’re faking it. Save yourself from falling into this category!

Market yourself like a product to a customer. Remember, easy availability decreases the value of the product. So go low on the good stuff – YOU!

Make them crave for more and follow you instead of following them yourself. You can also go with the hot & cold technique.

Once you show them your fun side, go low. If they crave your presence, they’ll hit you with:

“Did I do anything wrong without noticing?” or, “Are you alright? You don’t seem like yourself”.

Once they do…

Step 10: Seize the date!

When they show concern, assure them it’s not their fault. They’ll dig deeper to know the issue, that’s your chance to ask them out with

“This is not a good time, rather, let’s catch up this weekend?”

You’re allowing time to yourself for cooking up a topic and for them to make up their mind.

Bonus: They’ll spill some beans about their private life.

For a positive answer, dig in with some date ideas like

 “Let’s meet up at the town square for a movie?”

You can propose a double date if you know some willing people, or just ask her out on a coffee date.

Honestly, people who get to flirt in person are the luckiest. But, some of us aren’t that lucky. If you agree then you might want to learn…

How to flirt over text?

If you exchanged phone numbers with your crush, that itself is a great occurrence. You got lucky with your crush’s contact, that’s worthy of celebration. But let’s not steer away from our goal here.

You must be careful because you can’t perceive any emotions. So believe in your instincts and get going with this step-by-step process.

Step 1: Hit them up spontaneously

Your first text will always make you feel nervous. So, you must find some excuse about work or school to hit them up.

Don’t let them in on your actual thoughts yet! You might spoil it with nervousness…

Send something like:

“Hey Jason, Evelin here! Can you help me out with my math homework? Please?”

You introduced yourself and found an excuse to keep the texts going. They won’t doubt you for ulterior motives.

Well, if you know each other and texted before. BUT your mind is blank because of raging hormones (I’ve been there too!), hit up with

“Are you aware of *insert gossip*?”

Step 2: Direct the spotlight on them

Challenge yourself to make the texts more about them rather than yourself.

Instead of “I’m feeling sick”, use “how are you doing?” and later reply “I think I’m going under the weather.”

Look at the difference: You prioritized your crush, let them ask the same, answered about yourself, and raised their concerns. That’s a lot of things with two texts.

Or, you can use their interests as a common topic. If he/she plays any musical instrument, watch some shows to get some idea about it and break the ice with…

“Did you watch that music show?”

Step 3: Probe deeper at the right moment

Know your limits when you text. Casually ask about their whereabouts, their plans for the day, and so on. But don’t jump in at some touchy topic yet.

Of course, you might do it without knowing, but you can always find your way out with a sincere apology.

DO NOT interrogate them like you’ll match your horoscopes for marriage!

If they eventually open up about private stuff, you can dig for more. Or, you can share your personal life a little like…

“My parents never appreciate my efforts, even though I’m doing my best.”

They might console you with,

“My dad’s the same… guess it’s a parenting thingy”

Step 4: Make sly moves

If you want to date, then don’t back off. Let their mind register you as a potential partner and not a passing friend in some phase of life, so the earlier the better!

Remember, if you don’t make a move, someone else will. Don’t stall for the perfect opportunity, make it yourself.

Compliments like “It’s fun texting you, you always have something fun under your sleeve” will feed their ego and give you better chances.

You can even use a sad situation to comfort them with praises like 

“Wait, who can bear to scold a sweet girl/filial boy like you?”


Step 5: Flaunt your honesty

If you’re the honest type or you can’t keep a secret too long, then let’s go your way.

Send a flirty text like, “People say you can’t see someone on texts, but I can already say you’re VERY pretty”

…and wait for their response.

Don’t stay up all night with your phone. Once you’ve sent the text, snap out of it! Breathe deeply, it’s all fine no matter how they respond.

Did they reply with a simple “thanks”? Or, did they ignore the text?

You might want to psychoanalyze their reaction now.

Silence = clear rejection, one-word replies = a million things, so play safe. Normal texts =  no discomfort.

Step 6: Control your flirtatious side

Don’t express excessively to avoid creeping them out. Go back to your regular texting style.

If your flirty texts imply a love confession, and they don’t feel comfortable about it, step back.

If they want more, they’ll try to win over your attention. Your compliments must be cool and rare. Don’t show them all your cards yet.

Become a mystery to them, let them think, 

“I dressed up, but why didn’t he/she compliment me?”

Make a win-win situation out of it.

Step 7: Create some tension

Suppressing your feelings will create suspense … “You look great in that outfit.”  This suspense will create tension in the other person.

On days you don’t compliment them, let their mind go wild with thoughts like, “Do I not look good enough to get a compliment on this outfit?”

Isn’t it unfair that you’re strategizing all alone behind the scenes?

Occupy space in their mind to get some positive results out of this. Let them think about how much you like them – if it’s friendly or if it’s love-like.

If you keep them hanging, they’ll come back – trust me!

Step 8: Lighten the mood with some banter

You know what you’re doing so take responsibility! Don’t let him/her out of the hook because they can’t handle the pressure.

Keeping the regular jokes on will help you stay in their good books. Help yourself in this situation so that you don’t become strangers again.

Continue texting while they jog their heads!

With this, add in some flirting amidst the jokes like, 

“YES, you TOTALLY look bad!”

But hey, if they can’t catch up on your sarcasm, it might worsen things… that doesn’t mean you’ll back off.

Instead, add something like “just kidding” or “jk” at the end.

Step 9: Now retreat a bit!

We never want to stop texting our crushes but that can be a little risky. You’re betting your dignity and feel that way.

If you have a lot to share, keep it for later. You never know if you’ll have enough stories to entertain your crush the next day.

So, prioritize yourself when you need to. Don’t obsess over text too long. They’ll judge you for being jobless.

Show them that you’re busy. Let them know, 

“I’ll get back to you after some time, have some prior engagements.”

You prioritized yourself, retreated before you bored them, and left them guessing about your “prior engagement”.

Step 10: Keep a sportsman’s spirit

If they didn’t respond as you expected, it’s fine! You can’t force feelings on someone, better off staying friends like that.

You have a lot of time to find someone special for yourself. You’ll meet new people in your life and find a better match for yourself so don’t let this pull down your spirits, okay?

Every day your interactions will show you a new side to life, so one rejection cannot be a good reason to curl yourself up.

Keep texting if you guys don’t mind, you might become great friends for life. You can indulge in friendly flirts too.

If you don’t have the contact number of your crush or you don’t know them in person, that’s a lot of difficulties to handle.

For instance, you came across someone from Tinder but don’t know them in real life. It can be troublesome but don’t worry. I’m here to solve the issue with…

How to flirt on Tinder?

The first roadblock of flirting on Tinder is the lack of information. You know only what they want you to know… through their bio.

But regardless, you can’t let the opportunity go with a no-show. So, let’s get started!

Step 1: Gather info from bio

You can know the most about a Tinder match from their bio.

They caught your attention, so there’s definitely something “cool” about it. Put your detective glasses on and dig deep into their profile to know more.

If you want your pickup line to create an impact, you need to know certain things about this person.

On the flip side, remember, your Tinder match is also checking out your bio.

So, don’t forget to put up some interesting facts about yourself. Let your matches try hard too.

Step 2: Let the game begin

Once you’re done investigating your match, initiate a conversation about whatever you found.

BUT avoid any close-ended questions.

It’s not a one-way interview for a job position. You want them to talk as much as you want them to listen.

If they wrote anything about songs on their bio, shoot them with “Recommend me some songs”, instead of “who’s your favorite singer?”

Don’t kill the conversation with a one-way question. Let them want to know you better.

It seems like a long route and even if you don’t want to invest so much time, it’s worth it! At least you’ll learn new skills.

Step 3: Share what you already share

After striking up the conversation, you’ll slowly learn about your mutual interests. Mentally identify whatever you have in common (or use a notebook).

Use them to keep your conversation flowing. Don’t let the fire die down so easily once you find a good match. You can send messages like…

“I’m into this genre too, what do you think about *singer/band-name*?”

Once again, remember to use open-ended questions.

Observe how they react, are they talking enthusiastically about a favorite something or are they keeping all hush-hush in your DM?

Since it’s just a warm-up, don’t think too deeply about it.

Step 4: Use your charms to hook them

You need two things to turn a Tinder match into a Tinder date, a good sense of humor and flattery.

If you make them giggle and blush, they’ll want more of the feel-good feelings. So, your charming behavior will decide where you end up with this Tinder match.

Go check the millions of pickup lines out there…

“What kind of pie do you like?” *their answer* “I like a cutie pie like you”

But if you don’t want to go mainstream with the already existing lines, go for puns. You can check out a few puns online and give them your own twist.

Step 5: Roll the convo with games and suppositions

Know them more but instead of interviewing them directly, use a roundabout way of games.

Show off your playful side with games like This or That, Two truths and a lie.

Keep them thinking…

 “Damn he/she’s interesting”

…and the next moment they’ll spill some more deets about themselves.

Also, assume random things like

“You visited a lot of places, you must have a wanderlust soul”

One thing: DON’T repeat anything that’s already on the bio. If they clearly typed info about being a wanderer, don’t ask it again.

You’ll appear not interested. Make sure to use something unique.

Step 6: State the obvious while flirting

By now, I hope you’re improving your flirting techniques a bit. I know Tinder is for dating, so there’s no harm continuing the flirty texts for longer.

But let’s play safely without overdoing it.

Notice if your match is stepping up with the pickup lines. They right-swiped you too, where are their efforts?

You don’t wanna date a lazy bum who can’t compete with you in a fun and flirtatious game.

Once they up their flirting game, you may get back to the field, and tease them a bit like…

“Are you – the grumpy cat – finally hitting on me? I’m moved to tears!”

Make them blush with your sarcasm, and encourage flirting.

Step 7: Stay attentive, don’t lose focus!

I don’t imply you must forget everything in life and focus on your match. Rather, if your match texts you, reply whenever possible, or DM:

“Hey I’m sorry to keep you waiting, work’s too tight!”

There are so many people on Tinder, don’t let your match think you found someone new. Give them a reason to wait for you.

Also, your match might find someone else, conquer some space in their heart with

“Hey, long day at work, how was your day?”

If you consistently DM each other, your chance of getting a date will multiply ghastly. Don’t follow any time limit rule to reply to DMs.

Step 8: Plan virtual dates

Ask them if they’re comfy with video-calling you. If your match is alright, you guys can try out Tinder’s F2F video chat option.

If they’re away or you guys are quarantining, it’s a great alternative to a real date. Tinder really made your life easy!

You can enjoy your meals together on this date, or ask…

“Wanna FaceTime later? It’s far more convenient after all.”

Also, if your date seems comfortable after talking face to face, suggest exchanging phone numbers to know each other outside Tinder with

“Tinder is inconvenient for me, I’ll drop my number here if you want to talk more regularly.”

Don’t push, let them decide for themselves.

Step 9: Plan dates with mutual interests

Ask them about their plans on a weekend to avoid a refusal. If you know they’re free beforehand, there are lower chances of a random excuse.

Also, if you caught their eyes, they’ll anticipate a date on that weekend. Now it’s your turn to ask them out in a roundabout manner.

Use a common interest to meet up whenever you’re in the same city, for instance, if you both love pets, say

“I found a great pet-friendly café, I want to go along with someone.”

Let them know they’re on your mind, and they’re your first bet with

“I was wondering if you can make some time to meet me?”


Step 10: Ask them for recommendations

You may flirt indirectly with something like

“Do you know any good pet-friendly café in the locality?”

Of course, they’ll understand where the convo is going but can’t help answering, right?

They’ll eventually choose a comfortable space to their liking. But don’t immediately ask them out during the chat.

Look up the place properly, if they’re pranking you – you never know when their playful side activates.

Do your research about the spot and then ask them out to accompany you to this place, since they already know enough of it.

Don’t lose heart if they refuse it. Perhaps they weren’t aware and are really busy! Ask them to hit you up when they’re ready.

Well, of course, Tinder isn’t the only place you might fall for someone. You have social media like Facebook, Instagram, and even other dating platforms like Hinge.

So what if the situation isn’t like Tinder at all? Then read up…

How to flirt online?

While flirting online doesn’t give you the advantage of knowing the thoughts, body language, or expression of your crush, it still provides other benefits over Tinder!

Specifically, if it’s social media like Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube, you know there is lots of content that can help you up to your flirting game. Let’s find out how!

Step 1: Create a bold and cheeky profile

Sign up on your preferred dating site/social media and put something interesting and true about yourself. Choose some creative words that define you but don’t try too hard for attention.

Don’t fill anything and everything that comes on the top of your mind.

Use a picture that brings out your best features. Avoid nudes and sensitive pictures to bypass weird creeps.

Lastly, don’t overshare because millions of unknown people with unknown motives will come across your profile. Let’s prioritize your safety without putting up contact and address info.

Step 2: Get through the convo basics

Don’t be rude or crude: If you’re talking to someone for the first time, mind your manners. No, I’m not talking about Victorian-era modesty. Don’t make others uncomfortable because you want to be “cool”.

Ditch the monotone: Instead of an awkward “hello” or “sup?” say something more. At least a sentence or two will suffice to catch their attention.

Let them speak: Talk about something relatable instead of a random topic. For instance, if they uploaded a story, you can send..

“Hey, I just checked your story. The Scenery is WOW! What was happening there?”

They’ll eventually share something after it.

Step 2: Time the flirtation for better impact

If you guys get friendly and comfortable, it’s time to make them laugh. Though easier said than done, a good sense of humor is an immediate turn-on.

You two might not find the same thing funny or interesting so experiment in different ways. For instance, your meme knowledge might not be the same as theirs.

For instance, the “Am I a joke to you?” meme might not sit well with them so try to keep everything light.

Even if they have good meme knowledge but only reply with “LMAO” or “ROFL” to your flirty texts, it’s a bad sign of disinterest.

Also, don’t play hard to get. They’ll possibly forget you if you ignore them.

Step 4: Take a leave sooner than expected

Set a mental timer before you start texting them. You probably forget about the time when you text him/her because… let’s face it… our hormones act weird.  (I don’t blame you at all.)

So, this timer will keep you from boring this other person and also make you seem mysterious like

“Hey catch you later, I have something up.”

Here’s where they start anticipating the future! 

If this person is popular, you’ll stun them with your casual attitude. They’ll find you interesting for resisting their charms and being up and about your own life normally.

Don’t be the “I wish we could chat longer” person.

Step 5: Motivate yourself, hang in there

Everyone might not be an extrovert or ambivert, so don’t expect the other side to start joking as smoothly as you.

People take some time to open up, so keep flirting lightly with some friendly banter. When they start trusting you, they’ll eventually open up.

But let’s face it, everyone isn’t for everybody. You might talk to everyone on your social media and approach them, each one will react differently to your advances.

Be as open and friendly as possible and keep trying tirelessly if you want something out of it. Don’t think:

“This person is not reacting to my advances at all, let’s switch.”

Step 6: Don’t make everything about you

Everyone wants to impress their crush but don’t try to catch their attention in unnatural ways. Don’t say

“If it were me, I’d never treat you that way”

You can’t put yourself in someone else’s shoes like that. Moreover, they’ll think you’re trying to win over their favor in weird ways.

Or, if you’re not into punk language, don’t make fun of yourself by using it.

You want people to like you for you. Anyway, you can’t continue faking it forever.

Also, be optimistic and avoid talking negatively about yourself. People might interpret it as

“Oh, he/she is hungry for attention.”  Nope! Can’t afford to waste your efforts.

Step 7: Use social media to connect better

If you’re on social media, then use the available content online to keep the flirting on.

You’ll find funny, cute, pretty, or even sad material on the platform. Connect with them through the content.

Once they feel more comfortable with your content, they’ll share some with you too. Else they’ll leave it on “read” or reply with an emoji.

Who says you can’t flirt without texts? Be each other’s meme smuggler and bond in a unique way.

Express your wonder at their meme/content with more than reacts like

“Wow, that kitten reminds me of you”.

Flirt while you encourage them to share and discuss new content.

Step 8: Take your time for everything

Give yourself some time to understand your feelings for them.

Don’t rush into it and mess up with a…

“Hey let’s date!” or, “I want to make you the father/mother of my children.”

You want to see a virtual race? You’ll see them running far away from you if you pull that off.

Avoid talking about anything sexual… unless you’re ready for a report or cyber harassment charges.

Get this straight in your mind “flirt” has nothing to do with “sex”.

Shower them with compliments about their face or hair. Though men might be immune, don’t approach a girl talking about her body.

Step 9: Text no more than twice

Use two as a wonderful number to avoid any misunderstanding. Don’t text more than twice and no more than two emojis…

“Hey, I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately ☺☺.”

“Are you busy right now? I wanted to talk a bit”

That’s it, stop right there! They’ll text you back when they’re available.

Put yourself in their shows… How will you feel if you find a sea of messages in your inbox?  Not a fancy view, so resist your urge to text even if you really want to.

Moreover, don’t indulge in sensitive topics unless the other person shows an interest. Your conflicting thoughts might kill your relationship even before it starts.

Step 10: Express your inner child

For a better impression, show off the child hidden within you. Social media has games too, so ask them to play some silly games with you…

“Hey I wanted to play this game but it needs two players. Will you accompany me?”

Or, use classic ones like “Who Is Most Likely To”, or “Alphabet Game”.

You can use these to know each other and compliment him/her on how well they play.

Let them connect with the child inside you because anyone puts down their guard in front of kids.

You don’t necessarily become a child from acting this way, instead, you open up your innocent side to allure them.

But what if your crush isn’t someone on your phone but someone sticking in front of you from 9 to 5? Oh boy, I smell office romance!

Well, if you can’t approach that person, find the tricks from…

How to flirt with a coworker?

If you’re crushing on someone from work, you might feel more nervous because it’s a professional field. But feelings don’t always listen to your mind.

I have the answer to your questions here. Let me show you how to stay classy…

Step 1: Find excuses for interacting

Your crush might or might not be in your team, so your interaction strategy depends on it.

If they are in your team, you can casually walk up to them and ask…

“Hey, how far are you up with that task?”

If they’re not in your team or department, asking them about work progress might be suspicious if you don’t know their task or you’re competing teams. So, use other reasons like…

“Hey! You’re the woman/man who sealed the XYZ deal, right? Whoa, great job champ!”

If you forgot their name, ask them,

“This is Albert! So awkward, what’s your name again? Think the work is getting to my head…”

Step 1: Get rid of your poker face

If your work is rough and you habitually frown because of it, we gotta do some reformation over there buddy! 

Avoid frowning and smile more so that when you see them you can naturally greet them with a smile. 

This will warm up your crush towards you, and who doesn’t want some silent workplace motivation?

Of course, you can’t do this overnight, practice at home.

After you ace the smiling, try to laugh with context now.

Crack up jokes about the daily humdrum to make everything a little better. Soon, they’ll feel comfortable sharing jokes and you guys will have your inner jokes.

Step 3: Compliment them about work

Some people stick to “You’re beautiful/handsome” compliments, but think about the platform and originality.

This is a professional stage and work matters to everybody. Compliment them about their accomplishments and skills, rather than appearances. Catch their attention this way

“Hey, Maria! Your design is so impressive. Always wondered about your inspirations!”

If they’re not doing well at work, don’t make up false compliments, that’s a huge turn-off.

Rather share with them what you think and create a story on how you find your way out of this rut.

“Hey your design was absolutely cool, but I have some more ideas for hitting the jackpot next time.”

If you help them through their struggles, you’ll obviously create a special place in their hearts.

Step 4: Be the helping hand to each other

Whenever you need something, ask him/her to help. You’ll inflate their ego a few folds when you ask for help from them.

“Hey Rachel, please help me categorize these. I get so confused about this task.”

Also, ask for something you know they can handle. Don’t mindlessly embarrass them with something beyond their expertise. If you’re not sure, ask…

“Hey John, you’re good with reviewing things right? Can you help me review my project?”

Other than that you can also offer help when you seem them hardly being able to make ends meet.

“Whoa, that’s a lot of papers you’re scanning. Think you need a hand?”

Show that you’re both there for each other.

Step 5: Dawdle around them

Pass by their desks naturally and drop in a few greets initially. Make it seem like you were out on an errand and found them on your way.

DON’T overdo it! Get back to work after a little exchange.

You can slowly increase how much you interact while you “pass by” them. You can drop a friendly “How’s it going there?” or “Are you fine working on this alone? Need a hand?”

If they really need a hand, great opportunity for you!

Slowly take it to the next level with “Hey you look rough, wanna grab a breather?”

They’ll absolutely love the concern unless they have a close deadline… (then try working overtime together).

Step 6: Spend more time together

If your office crush becomes friendly with you, try engaging with them more. For instance, ask them to have lunch with you like

“Hey, let’s grab lunch together. Come over to my cubicle if I’m not here by then?”

Or, if they have lunch alone, you can directly take your lunch to their desk and ask

“May I get permission to accompany this handsome man or gorgeous lady?”

Flirty, right?

If you work up your friendly relationship well, they won’t refuse you.

Moreover, your sudden fun tone might make them laugh and flirt back.

After some time, you can ask them to grab lunch outside the office.

Step 7: Speak with your body

After all, you don’t want to stop at just being friends, you want to be more than that but don’t blow the trumpet yet!

Instead, let your body do the talking! For instance, when you’re loitering around their desk, lean over the desk and reach out your arms to point at something.

If you’re sitting beside them, lean or slightly tilt your body towards them.

Women, flip your hair to flaunt your neck; it attracts men. Men, roll your sleeves to show your forearms.

You can use these to grab your crush’s attention to yourself and “flirt without trying” – that’s your aim!

Step 8: Maintain the touch barrier

If you know your co-worker since college or before joining the organization, it’s fine as long as you get touchy outside the workplace.

If you know your crush only inside the workplace, don’t break the touch barrier.

Although slight touches in regular flirting are normal, it’s not in the corporate world – it becomes sexual harassment.

Also, if your crush is falling for you, they might anticipate some “accidental touches”. They’ll try harder to flirt if that’s the case, and might even ask you out, saving you the trouble.

Impress them with your carefree nature and don’t forget to smile and laugh.

Step 9: Do some homework on yourself

You can’t impress anybody else if you don’t impress yourself. Think about your appearance… NO, I’m not talking about weight, figure, or skin tone.

Is your appearance at par with your general professional image? Still, having trouble? You want to attract them so…

Women, wear proper neutral tone makeup to flaunt your radiant beauty.

Men, groom your hair and beard properly before heading out.

Wear clean and pressed outfits to give off perfect corporate man/lady vibes.

Wear polished shoes to compliment your professional attire and stand out. Your shoes can do wonders for your posture.

Take care of anybody odor with perfumes or deodorants. This will come in handy when you lean towards them.

Step 10: Take the hint

Observe your crush when you make your moves. 

Are they flinching? Is she backing off? Is he avoiding you? 

Stop doing that immediately if he/she looks uncomfortable.

Does your workplace have a strict no-relationships rule?

If you’re not sure, speak to the HR division for more info, also, go through the sexual harassment rules of your organization to avoid any unwanted situation.

Lastly, don’t flirt with a married colleague, your superior, or your subordinate. You might get in trouble for hitting on someone with a different position because of authority games.

Prioritize your work and job security above flirting because you’re there for making a living in exchange for your skills.

Hope your workplace flirtation scheme is crystal clear?

Well, if your workplace crush is also an old friend and you guys meet each other outside work a lot, then you might try changing your style to…

How to flirt with a friend?

Crushing on an old friend is a regular thing. You might be a teenager, a college student, or a working adult. You’ll find many couples around you who started with harmless friendships.

Let’s take some inspiration from them.

Step 1: Annoy your friend

Since you’re already friends and know a lot about each other, you have lots of ideas and occasions to annoy each other.

If you want to start your trip to flirt-town, start some friendly teasing.

Make sure your friend says something like “Stop teasing me!” or “You’re so annoying… ugh!” 

…instead of keeping quiet and thinking “Here comes the annoying jerk! Gotta go!”

If your friend is running away, you did something wrong. Make them blush, smile, and laugh with your teases like

“Remember how you messed up in chemistry class and almost blew up everything? You’re a genius though” 

Don’t make fun of anything sensitive and you’re all set.

Step 2: Keep it slow and steady

Don’t rush to the flirt-town, you might crash your commute somewhere… So proceed slowly and steadily.

If you just began flirting last week, too soon to propose huh! 

Instead, take some time to show off your playful side and see how they take it.

When people think deeply about their own feelings, thoughts seem to jumble. You and I are the same so this is not the right time yet.

You’ll probably make a fool out of yourself or lose your friend if you’re not careful about the situation. 

Step 3: Use the friend zone

Everyone dreads the friend zone these days…


You’re already in the friend zone, he/she can’t send you to the friend zone if you’re already there. Instead, you’re trying to get out of it.

Moreover, friends have a greater advantage of knowing the itty bitties. You can cheer them up when they’re down. Or, make them feel safe when they’re insecure.

“You know I believe in you. I won’t judge you for anything. Heck, it’s been x years since I knew you. Did I ever backstab you or something?”

Show them how you were always there beside them and will be no matter the situation.

Friends have millions more advantages, you just need to sneak out of the friend zone without them noticing.

Step 4: Ask yourself, “What do I really want?”

So, what do you want from your friend? 

Do you want to date him/her? 

Are you thinking about spending the rest of your life together?

Or, do you want to flirt just for flirting… practice perhaps?

If you just keep it up to practice flirting, then you’re something more than a friend, but nothing like having a sexual relationship. And of course, no romantic feelings!

Now, what do you want? Think carefully, because if you mix them all, it’ll be messy.

You can only stick to fun and flirty jokes… if that’s all that you want.

Whereas for a proper romantic involvement, you must consider a lot.

Step 5: Tread ahead confidently

Now that you’re ready for the next step, remember that the way to flirt-town from friends-town is a hilly and narrow one.

If you think about backing off, you’ll crash down the hilly terrain. 

You can’t afford nervousness if you’re sure about what you want. Prepare to stick on your grounds confidently when you begin flirting.

You’ll seem natural while flirting… if you’re confident about it.

But nervousness will take you to the awkward island and strand you there. Your friend might start avoiding you if you’re being “weird” around them because of the awkwardness.

The key to confidence is – fake till you make it – so be there until you really make it!

Step 6: Make some good memories

If you guys go out in groups, try asking them out alone or just sneak them out to a lonely place. Try spending more time with just the two of you instead of the entire bunch.

Whisk them away with:

“Hey Maya, wanna burn some firecrackers? Not around the tents though, let’s move a bit farther.”


“Hey, I found great books but can’t decide. Come help me find a good one!”

Treat them differently even when you’re in groups. Then your friend will notice they’re special to you.

After getting home, text them:

“You got home safe?” and “Thanks for recommending the book, it’s great”

Stay in touch after a good day!

Step 7: You’re free to touch

The touch barrier is low among friends like shoulder-to-shoulder touches or a pat in the back. 

So, you must do something new. Something that’s not sexual but sweet.

You might hug him tighter, or tuck her hair behind her ears. Your touches must speak about your interest.

Lean on his shoulders to show you have faith in him. Or, put your arms around her to protect her from the crowd.

But of course, don’t scare them with your touches. Don’t do anything uncomfortable!

Step 8: Show them they’re special

You must make your friend-crush feel special to stand out from the crowd.

Suppose you went out on a group outing, and everyone’s ignoring him/her, make sure you pay special attention to them and listen to them. Keep asking…

“And what happened next?” 

…and don’t let them stop until the whole conversation is over.

Look them in their eyes and maintain an interesting expression like you sincerely want to know.

If you do this a couple of times when others are ignoring him/her, your crush will get in the habit of sharing with you more than others.

If you see her cold, offer her your jacket.

If you see him stressed, pat his back, gently pull his face towards you and ask

“What’s wrong?”

It’s friendly, flirtatious, and special – you’ll show it all in one package!

Step 9: Don’t play mind games

Some people suggest, “Ignore them and they’ll come right back after you”.

That’s the half-truth, it might work when you’re very special to them and they can’t do without you. Otherwise, it’s your loss.

Also, don’t try to flirt with someone else in front of your crush. They’ll either cheer for you if there are no feelings from their side,


Label you as a player. The next day they’ll talk trash about you.

Your reputation is at stake, so avoid any mind games you come across on the internet. Don’t be like

“That girl/boy always comes to meet me. I wonder what’s up.”

You might lose out on great friends if you treat them indelicately.

Instead, make them feel good with your compliments and support them like

“You look good even if you wear rags… wish I could pull that off!”

Step 10: Strike while it’s hot

If you are seeking a romantic relationship, flirting is not the only thing you wanna do!

Use flirting as your base to get closer to their heart and rip off the friend zone barrier. If your friend flirts back or encourages your moves this is prime time.

But don’t misjudge the situation because of your hormones. Does he/she send you memes as much as you do?

Is he/she talking to someone else as much as you? Is he/she laughing at his jokes as much as yours? Make mental notes of each and every detail.

Don’t stop the flirting if you see you didn’t make it yet. Confess once you feel you’re out of the friend zone and have a chance.

Even if it doesn’t work, it’s okay! Find someone better once you recover.

Flirting with friends is easy because you know them, but tough because you’re gambling on your friendship.

But there might be times when you come across this random absolute stranger and feel he/she is your destiny!

For more, read…

How to flirt with someone or a stranger?

Honestly, crushing at a stranger is not that uncommon. You might see an absolute hottie, but they walk away and you lose your chance forever. No more of that, firstly…

Step 1: Lower your guards and be approachable

If you want random strangers to approach you, you need to lower your guard. Smile more frequently to look friendly and approachable to people.

Also, if you make eye contact, you’ll know who’s checking you out or who might like to flirt back with you.

If you give off the “I’m a rough and tough man/woman. I can handle life on my own!” Nobody will want to hit on you.

When you make eye contact with a stranger, greet them with a smile instead of avoiding their eyes (that’s the instant reaction, right?)

You can express your confidence and transparency to the other person with steady eye contact.

Step 2: Observe your surroundings

You might be busy with something but you also want someone to hit on you? Then look around yourself.

Since you don’t have anything to do, you check your phone – cool, everyone does that! You check one funny video, then another, and your day comes to an end. Nobody hit on you, right?

So, check your surroundings every 5 minutes in between your interesting feed.

If you’re in the gym, look around while you take a breather from the instruments.

You’ll come off unfriendly and busy if you concentrate on your business alone,

Imagine someone else busy in front of you, will you bother them? No? The same goes for others!

Step 3: Loiter around other people

Be it the pub or the grocery store, where do you see more people? 

You’ll get more chances of hitting on others or being hit on by others wherever there are more people.

I’ll say where there are more people, that definitely has something quirky. And also, there will be quirky people to your liking too.

Now zoom into more deets. Is there something that you found interesting in that area?

Hold up two of those objects to strike up a conversation like

“Excuse me, I’m a bit confused, which one among these two will you recommend?”

They might share some interesting information while recommending one.

Step 4: Interact with them

You can be more noticeable if you interact with strangers. Smiling alone won’t get you lucky with your flirt game.

If you’re in a crowded commute to-and-fro workplace and someone is struggling through it, say something like

“It’s very crowded, you can stand in this corner” while you make a little space for them, and say…

“Are you returning from work? I work at XYZ corporations.”

While you pick up your nephew after school, open your conversation like

“How long until the bell rings again?” and following, “Which grade is your ward?”

Carry on the small talk with little it-bits.

More people might start interacting once you begin to keep a friendly stance.

Step 5: Make the waiting times fun

You’re waiting for your turn in a public place, perhaps for your turn to get on the bus, or in a checkout line for anything.

Isn’t it annoying how long it takes to go through those lines? You can’t blame the clerk for it, the poor person is doing their best.

So instead of standing there with a grumpy face, start a conversation with someone in front or behind you.

This is NOT a cue to go wild with your conversation skills. But they won’t shoot you down if they’re bored as well.

You can hit them with a…

“Is that an abc book? I didn’t know they kept it in this store… where did you get it?”

Step 6: See what they were doing

So, this person you found approachable, what was he/she doing?

They returned your smile and eye contact with the same, but that might not imply,

“I want to talk to you”

…perhaps he/she is waiting for someone?

Sometimes, you might read wrong in between lines, and it’s fine as long as you respectfully back off.

Imagine someone was studying the same academic book in the library as you. You might say,

“Hey, can I sit beside you? Actually, I was studying the same thing. Wonder if I can get some help?”

They won’t refuse the seat, but if they ignore you or say they didn’t study your part yet, NO MORE!

Step 7: Look out for reactions

Is this person you’re talking to trying to get away? Are they avoiding you or engaging in a healthy conversation?

People might not always take strangers’ talking casually. You must observe if you scared them.

Is their body not facing you? Did they cross their arms curling in a protective stance?

Those are signs that you made him/her uncomfortable.

In these situations, say

“It was nice talking to you, but if I’m holding you back from something, you’re free to go.”

Apologize nicely like “I didn’t mean to get you uncomfortable”

You want to be a good flirt, not the neighborhood creep.

Step 8: Make an appropriate exchange

Don’t say “Hey hunk” or “Hey babe” to strangers if you don’t want them to ignore you or call the cops on you.

Rather be honest like,

“Hey, it’s James here. I found you interesting. Can I get your name?”

Direct and smooth… Instead of sounding like a catcaller, you’ll give refined gentleman/lady vibes.

Also, be careful with the compliments. Don’t call a woman “hot” or “sexy”. Don’t comment on how “big” he might be anywhere.

That can actually put you in a bad light!

Step 9: Make a smooth outro

If you think they found you cool and the conversation is going well. Moreover, if they didn’t make any attempt at running away, you must take a step ahead.

Ask them to exchange contacts like…

“It was nice talking to you, think we can exchange contacts?”

Many don’t feel safe giving away their phone number, so suggest any other social media that doesn’t need too much digging.

If they refuse, no hard feelings peace out! After all, you can’t sync in a few minutes of exchange.

If they share it, congratulations mate… you’ve successfully hooked the fish! 😉

Step 10: Keep the practice on!

You must continue practicing no matter what situation you face. Even if it didn’t work well, think it over, what went wrong? 

Was the person unfriendly from the beginning? 

Were they open in the beginning and later changed their mind? 

Was there possibly anything that displeased them?

If you weigh the conversation, you can find a possible way to improve for your next time.

Now for the lucky ones with the phone numbers, immediately ring her number if she gave it verbally.

Some people just give away random contacts to save themselves. If their phone doesn’t ring, let them pass.

And the ones who got the correct number, continue flirting through texts! 

Flirting is the secret behind happiness for every married couple.

Be it a married couple or two partners involved with each other sexually, you can take your flirting to the next notch with sexual flirting.

But everyone might not be aware of sexual flirting… So let’s learn…

How to flirt sexually?

You must engage in sexual flirting with a partner who approves of it ONLY. Build some healthy sexual tension until your partner and you are ready for the naughty times with these ideas…

Step 1: Don’t engage with/around strangers

You can’t hold yourself back, I understand. But you need to stay mindful of your actions and the place.

Avoid doing anything naughty in the public! Make sure nobody is around you or notices you while you’re at it.

But what might go wrong if anyone notices it?

If you were thinking that, then you must know you’re endangering both your safety and your reputation.

Even if it’s a thrill for you or the other person, it’s unsafe.

And you know how people assume women are “slutty” for initiating sexual flirting or “easy” for accepting someone’s sexual flirting.

So, find a comfortable secluded place even in public before you start anything.

Also, don’t target any committed person, or a workplace senior/junior.

Step 2: Test the water with accidental touches

After you find the right place, put your arms around her shoulders and casually descend it until her waist.

Did she flinch or try to brush your hands away?

If not, hang your hand a little lower around her hips and grab her hard. What was the immediate response?

To sexually flirt with a man, casually touch his knee while you’re hanging out and sitting close. Take the hand up his thighs, and notice his reaction. How is he reacting to your advances?

“Accidentally” brush your hands over his crotch.

If you find a negative response, drop a “Sorry that wasn’t on purpose” and stop.

Else, give a sexy side smirk and remove your hands.

Step 3: Be a little more daring

If you get positive or neutral responses before you part your ways…

Hold her shoulders, brush your thumb slightly across her collarbone, lean in for a kiss but kiss her cheeks/jawline instead.


Hold his face and kiss the corner of his lips.

If they didn’t push you away, your suggestive actions left them aching for more. Leave them after the kiss, you did enough for the day.

If the mood is nice, you might drop a little, “I’m so clumsy, I almost smacked my lips on yours.”

Take a quick look at their response. Sure, your actions shocked them. But are they trembling with fear or look dreamy and dazed?

Step 4: Tease them… sexually ofcourse!

A crowded place is the best to sexually tease your crush because you can easily get away with some excuse. 😉

If you’re almost smashed in the subway, women can try rubbing their breasts on their crush’s chest and allure them to look down at your cleavage. You can plead with them,

“Please don’t stare, it’s embarrassing.”

Or, grind your hips on their crotch. If you sense a hard-on, jackpot!

Men can rub their hard-on in such situations and drop a “Sorry about that”, look into their eyes. Do they look disgusted? If not then continue. 

You can always get off the radar if things don’t look good with,

“Please excuse me, it’s a physiological reaction,” 

Step 5: Stay aloof to pique interest

Don’t smother them with your advances. Sometimes you must take a break and let them wonder, “What was up about that?”

“He/she isn’t making any moves anymore; did they get bored or did I turn them off?”

Or, “Am I not attractive anymore?” “Did someone else catch his/her eye?”

Avoid looking like a Sex-maniac while they feel a little insecure about themselves.

You never know which move might make your crush make a pass on you!

Step 6: Share some sexual jokes

If you guys are friends or tend to hang out a lot, make sexual jokes. Banter about how the other one has a dirty mind like…

“Name the hairy thing sneaking out of your night suit when you wear it?” 

They might stare at you blankly or smile sheepishly.  Reply “The answer is Head.”

“What does a man put in his wife first?”  “A wedding ring”

Catch your crush off guard with these cheesy but naughty jokes. Your jokes will splash some naughty ideas in their mind and they’ll blush because of the obvious.

If they start sharing similar puns, it’s not an “I want to take you home” meaning. They’re only opening up more to you.

Step 7: Send naughty and suggestive texts

Get their contact information to reach the next level. Text him at night like,

“I wanna shop for some sexy lingerie online. Which is better: lace or net?”

Or, “Guess what I’m wearing right now and I’ll treat you!”

Text her something like

“I wanna grab something soft… my pillow isn’t good enough”

“I need to moisten my fingers… they’re really chapped… do you have something in mind?”

If they get in the mood the texts might get really racy, so hold tight!

Step 8: Give away sexual compliments

Compliment them about their body, but don’t yet say anything that might scare them. Until and unless the other person shows signs of comfort, don’t go out and out.

Tell him something like…

“I thought my schedule was the tightest thing until I saw your pants. Do you need a hand?”

Or, “What are the odds of me touching more than your arms tonight?”

Tell her

“You look really uncomfortable with that shirt, you wanna pop some buttons?”

Or, “I love the roundest part of your body… your eyes.”

Lace some mischief in your compliments. Don’t be too direct and make eye contact during your conversations.

Step 9: Give them a nice peek

If you think you can handle it, show off more skin. Don’t force yourself through. For instance…

In hot and humid weather, men can wet their white shirt to make it see-through, and peel off the shirt slowly saying,

“This weather does things to me that I wanna do to you. Get hot and wet.”

Women can send their pictures in different lingerie sets with the caption, 

“Which one looks better on me?”

Or, pull him in the changing room and ask him to hook your bra 

“My arm is cramping, mind giving me a hand?”

Step 10: Respect their wishes

You must get the other person’s permission or consent before you pull off such things. Or, at least read the other person’s reaction well.

You might not know but your sexual flirting might become sexual harassment and you can get in big trouble if you’re not careful.

Everyone’s life matters… yours too. So don’t ruin yourself or others without understanding their intentions.

If the other person refuses you, don’t push them. People might say “They’ll beg for you once you force yourself on them” – that’s rape. Things don’t work like that in this society.

Don’t believe in others blindly, evaluate your crush’s behavior yourself with a sane mind. Does he/she really want you? Or are you only assuming things?

Mostly for men, people will misunderstand you easily for one wrong step. If you don’t want any misunderstanding, step very carefully with very mild teasing.

And if you have a crush on someone from an instant messaging platform, sexual flirting is out of the question. Flirting on IM is quite different, let’s see…

How to flirt on instant messaging?

Whether you found your crush on the instant messaging app, or you fell for a total stranger on the application, you can successfully approach them and not look like a creep if you follow these steps.

Step 1: Don’t think too much about it

You can find both known people and unknown people on instant messaging applications. If you know them you can casually hit send with a casual “Hello”.

But, if the other person is a stranger, catch their attention with something in common or something you found in their “about” section. For instance, if you’re in the same college but don’t know each other, then…

“Hey, you’re from XXXX course, right? Help me get some info about it, my sister/cousin wants to join it!”

The formula behind attracting strangers on IM is proving you’re out on business and not an online creep.

But, there’s no reason behind thinking too much or researching papers behind the topic.

Step 2: Strike conversation on casual topics

While you talk about your “important” topic, use it to make small talk like “I was really anxious whether I messaged at the wrong time” or “I hope you’re doing well.”

If you’re an alumnus from the same college, you can ask questions like “Is professor George still teaching?” or “Who is the current professor for Geography?”

Crack light jokes like “Does the canteen still serve saltwater in the name of soup? I swear they never learn.”

Connect with cheery jokes about common things. This is too early so don’t even try digging deep like “What do your parents do?” or “Where do you live?”

Step 3: Don’t hold back gentle teases

Once your small talks turn into little comfortable chats, you can try to get to the next step.

Engage in some friendly banter, don’t be mean about their likes and passions like,

“You like that band? They are just wanna-be’s!”

Don’t! You might push them away with this attitude.

Keep the topics harmless like “You have really bad taste, after all, you befriended me!”

Dark humor might be cool during online games but a No-No for IM.

Play around with easy-to-understand jokes, not the ones about the latest trends or memes… more so because they might feel less of themselves and slowly close down.

Step 4: Take advantage of the platform

IM platforms are great because of their unending list of emoticons, GIFs, and stickers.

You’ll find really sweet and cute ones. Don’t forget to use them well.

BUT don’t send them all, altogether to look sweet or edgy. You’ll provoke a report or block if you don’t stay careful.

Use them only whenever you are being sweet or playful to them. For instance,

“You look beautiful in your display picture” and 😉 or the standard wink emoticons go well.

But don’t use it when you’re trying to cheer them up after talking about something serious or sad.

It’s hard to understand their emotions behind a text, so always use mild jokes.

Step 5: Read the replies properly

If your crush is replying positively to your advances, that’s cool! It’s your turn to flirt harder.

You might suggest sensual things once you get the cue. 

BUT, suggest, don’t outright text “Send me your picture,” instead provoke them to send one like

 “I bet your skin is flawless” or “you always look good.”

They might try to prove you wrong with a picture.

Though it’s hard to grasp the situations quickly because you can’t see their expressions, you can use them to your benefit too.

They can’t see your expressions and real thoughts either so you can cover up better for misbehavior via IM.

If they mind your advances, you can always say “Oh I didn’t mean anything like that.”

Step 6: Leave on a good note

Do you dump the whole bottle of sauce on your food or do you hold back?

Keep some tasty and juicy bits to yourself.

If you serve everything in your shop in one day, your customer will go try other shops because there’s nothing new, or you satisfied all of their needs.

Don’t give away everything on your plate so easily. Take your leave earlier from the convo.

You chatting till late at night will imply your desperation… and you don’t need this impression if you want to make this work.

Send a “See you later ;)” before you disappear until the next time.

Step 7: Don’t be mean to yourself

Keep the jokes like “You’re far more attractive than me” low. 

If you say that multiple times, the other person will really start believing it instead of taking it as a joke. And then, this person will think,

“Why does he/she idolize me so much?” or “Here he/she starts with the worship… ughhh…”


“I am way out of his/her league. I deserve better. I’ll start socializing with someone cooler.”

Both ways you’re showing low self-confidence and pushing away the other person.

However, don’t make yourself look superior to others in your jokes… you’ll become a narcissist, and it’ll instantly push others away. 

Step 8: Keep the sweetness quotient low

Of course, you want to impress your crush and show how attentive you are. But make sure you compliment them in no more than one aspect like…

“Your hair looks absolutely gorgeous in your profile picture.”

Or, “You look cute in that outfit.”

Use either of them in one context. If you use both, the other person will think you’re inspecting their picture.

That’s creepy and uncomfortable… and they’ll soon find out about your flirting game.

If you want to continue flirting on IM, control yourself, else one fine day you’ll stop receiving any replies.

Step 9: Avoid seeking attention

Never impulsively text things like I love you, or “Marry me”. Rather play fairly being friends and go out on friendly dates.

Once you know each other offline, you’ll increase the possibility of getting in a relationship.

Maintain some integrity when you chat. Don’t expect too much from this acquaintance.

Don’t imagine jumping into a relationship or marrying this person because they replied to you sweetly. You can only go as far as casual flirting online.

Don’t whine about staying loyal to each other else you’ll scare them off.

Nobody falls in love with a complete stranger. Love is a deep emotion, so avoid bringing it up in your casual chats.

Step 10: Stay within your limits

Do not squeeze the texts unnecessarily. For instance, typing “u” instead of “you”, or “4” instead of “for” shows you’re too lazy to invest behind this person.

Everyone doesn’t take this slang sportingly so stay alert of your habits.

Also, don’t lash out at them if anything seems inconvenient to you. If you behave badly once, they’ll remember your attitude forever or even hold a grudge against you.

Your efforts will go to vain if you don’t mind your manners.

Don’t jump into sexual content or send unsolicited pictures, else they might click on the BLOCK or REPORT button.

However, if your crush uses any kind of slang or vulgar language, you can play along…

You learned flirting on all platforms – be it on some application, or in person. But, sometimes, all of the tricks might not be valid for both genders.

Let’s have a look at what you need for flirting with women…

How to flirt with girls?

“Girls are delicate.” Delicacy doesn’t mean weakness. Some women are way more powerful mentally than any man can be on this planet. 

You’re learning how to flirt with girls, and that shows enough gentleness, so follow some steps to achieve perfection.

Step 1: Play with both: body and mind

If you see her sitting somewhere alone, take a seat facing her. If there’s only a seat beside her, go ahead and grab it, but face your body towards her when you talk.

She’ll understand your interest and be friendlier with you.

When you can’t face your body, for instance, during a lecture, lower your neck and tilt your shoulders, just enough to speak near her ears.

Always avoid crossing your limbs or standing too tall around them because you want to show a friendly vibe.

Also, when you look into her eyes, don’t stop! The usual reaction is looking away but don’t, she might get suspicious.

Step 2: Be more thoughtful with the compliments

You and I know you want to flirt with her, but she can do without sheer candor. The same goes when you’re too direct with your compliments.

Instead, say something more thoughtful which doesn’t seem sexist like,

 “I noticed how well-shaped your nails are. You’re very delicate with them, aren’t you?”

Everyone who wants to woo her or flirt with her might say “You look pretty.”

But where’s the originality? If she kicked out one person who said that, she can instantly turn you down too.

Even if she doesn’t, she’ll say “I have a boyfriend” or “My father is waiting to pick me up” to avoid you.

Step 3: Never give away crude comments

If you told her, “Hey, I like you” or “I wanna flirt with you” you’ll see her do a 180 and run.

Something like “I want you in my bed” will earn you a slap or even a beating.

A compliment like “You’re sexy” will only show her red flags. Bro, she’ll run to the hills if you do that.

Instead say, “Do you work out regularly?”

You meant the same thing with different terms and tones. She might even find you interesting after that.

Avoid breasts, legs, and rear compliments and show a gentle side.

This world objectifies women so any girl out there will react negatively to such comments.

Step 4: Flaunt your real self.

Since your crush has other friends too, she won’t necessarily see you more than a friend out of the blue.

You need to stand out of the crowd for her to notice you. BUT, make sure it’s nothing too deep, dark, or sensitive.

If you knowingly or unknowingly talk about any traumatizing situation, she’ll close down and might even avoid you because it reminds her of that.

Suppose, talk about her favorite sports or subject. Ask her if she can guide you with it like,

“Hey Olivia, you scored the highest in Political Science, right? Help me with this portion, I’m really not getting it.” 

Don’t just keep bombarding her with questions.

Step 5: Make some tension-worthy jokes

Be flirty when you’re joking, use some pickup lines and stand out of the crowd. This is the next step of expressing your interest, so don’t apply it until she’s very friendly with you.

You can say something like “*sniff sniff* Do you smell that?”

She’ll definitely try taking a whiff. Then say, “Is that your perfume or your pheromones?”

Stun her with a hint of a tease to get closer. You must make her laugh and blush together to register yourself as a potential suitor in her mind.

Also, avoid anything that might disturb her, or apologize if you notice anything like that, and take the chance to know something new about her.

Step 6: Make some unique jokes

Girls like intelligent boys… you might think “I’m no Einstein” but that’s okay. Rather work on your wits now than be sorry later.

If you learn to make witty remarks now, it’ll definitely help you in the future.

You must notice how she makes witty puns. If you don’t understand one, you can do a quick net-browsing to know the meaning.

In case you don’t find one, it’s her original, so ask her about the pun like,

“That went right over my head, care to shed some light?”

Once you learn her puns, try making jokes mentally,

Step 7: Follow up with signature humor

If you understand her puns now and can confidently pull them off in between your convos, next add some spice.

When she cracks one of her jokes, follow it up with signature humor. For instance, if she says something sarcastically, embrace her with your sarcasm instead of “ooooh that one was smooth”.

Sure, it’s fine but you killed the joke in a shorter period. You can make her laugh longer if you play along and give her something more to remember.

Step 8: Let your personality reflect your thoughts

When you make your moves, don’t think too much about being successful. If you think,

 “What if she thinks I’m a creep?” you might actually give away creepy vibes.

Rather fill your minds with thoughts like, “Hope we become friends.”

Think about positive things and you’ll find many good things happening around you.

Don’t misunderstand though. You won’t get whatever you imagine, but your personality will definitely reflect your thoughts.

Even if you’re the most popular guy in her vicinity, and think “She must feel grateful that someone as cool as me made the first move”

Your actions will show your overconfidence – RED FLAGS again!

Step 9: Drop obvious hints

Wooing a girl or flirting with her is no easy task. Honestly, it IS tough because nobody knows how a girl takes hints.

She might think “He’s my best friend!”, “He’s such a jerk!” or, “I feel something about him.”

But her expression might have very mild differences in all three situations.

Women are great at veiling emotions so you must stay consistent with your concerns for her.

Think about how you treat your friends. You must do a little more than a simple friend.

Ask her out with just the two of you. Spend more time together away from others and take a chance to hold her hands.

Step 10: Ask how she feels

Avoid asking her “How do you feel around me?”

That’s too blunt for a girl. Be delicate when you ask her like,

“I feel like holding your hands. I can’t help myself.” “Do you hate me for losing control like this?” or “Do you feel uncomfortable holding my hands?”

Sounds a little romantic when you flirt.

Or, pull her away from the side towards the cars on the sidewalk, and say “Hope you didn’t mind I pulled you like that?” “It’s unsafe on this side, so…”

Also, know things about her life. She mustn’t feel that you lost interest in her life. You can find more ways to flirt from the updates!

Now that we got all the steps down for girls, why not learn it for the men too? Guys need attention from girls as much as girls need it… so here’s…

How to flirt with guys?

Although men seem like easy nuts to crack, that’s not always the case. They need equal efforts to respond to your flirty comments. Here’s a dive deep!

Step 1: Make him curious about you

If he doesn’t know you yet you make eye contact and smile at him from time to time, he’ll wonder about your identity.

“Who was that? Do I know them?”

That’s how you make a little space in their mind without much effort.

He’ll definitely feel he’s forgetting someone and might ask around in his circle about you.

You already caught their interest.

Also, he’ll find you friendly because of your warm smile.

If you feel daring enough, you might even wink when you make eye contact again.

Step 2: Fidget around them

Play with your hair… You’ll attract his view to your hair, neck, and inner wrists – which represent feminine charms.

Also, don’t take up a protective/cowering stance around him. Be confident in your skin, even if you feel insecure for some reason.

You’re as beautiful and elegant as a deity. Your body language must show that you know your worth.

Fidget with your earrings if you want him to notice your neck and ears.

Men catch up on hints quite fast but you still need to show him what he’s missing out on.

Step 3: Pamper yourself with self-care

If you want him to think “Whoa who’s that beauty,” then you must think of yourself like that first.

Pamper yourself and put more effort into your hairstyle. You might leave your luscious locks wild one day, and secure them the other day to flaunt your neck.

Don’t expose too much skin or the other person might take a wrong hint, or you might attract the wrong kind of people.

Instead, give some time for your makeup. If you don’t like makeup, shape and fill your brows, apply light coverage cream, mascara, and lip gloss!

If you’re already into makeup, don’t overdo it, instead play around with new styles.

Step 4: Stand out from the crowd

“Men always make the first move” change that!

This time, make the first move yourself. Consider going up and talking to him. You’ll look confident and sexy if you do that.

“Hey, I’m Martha from the *introduce yourself*. Can you help me use the printer? I have a lot of trouble using it.”

Let him think

“Whoa! I never thought she’ll talk to me herself”

You’ll be an unexpected breath of fresh hair in his life and he’ll crave more for you.

While he helps you with your duties, indulge in some light-hearted chit-chats.

If you don’t know him, play dumb about him. Ask him stuff even if you know them.

Step 5: Make your interactions interesting

Find more opportunities to hit him up for favors.

For ages, men were the bread-winner, even if times are changing, men love it when their partner asks for help.

Inflate his ego with sweet-little favors here and there. He might think,

“Such a baby! What will *your name* ever do without me?”

Also, when talking to him, take his name more frequently.

You refer to your friends by their name, but during convo’s you rather look at them while addressing them.

But if you want to step out of the friend zone, say his name out loud, more frequently than ever.

“Josh, explain this part” or, “Josh! Not fair!”

Also, laughing at his jokes more often will make him feel good.

Step 6: Attract him with feminine beauty

You don’t need to strip to attract him. Instead, bite your lips or lick them when you’re having fun chatting.

Make sure you’re looking at each other when you do that, or at least he’s noticing you.

If you’re wearing a deep neckline dress or showing cleavage, wear a pendant around your chest level.

Play around with your jewelry like it’s the most obvious thing to do when you talk to him. He’ll automatically notice your chest.

If he’s a gentleman, he’ll try looking away. If he’s into you, he’ll look again. If he’s a brazen flirt, he probably won’t try looking away,

Say “Eyes up here” and smile devilishly.

Step 7: Accidentally bump into him

Keep the “accidental” things on the low to avoid blowing your cover.

If you want to break the touch barrier, accidentally bump into him in the hallway and say “oops!” while you drop your belongings.

Jog in the same park as him if you know where he goes to join his jogging session. When you spot him, say…

“Hey isn’t that John? I thought so… what a pleasant surprise!” and “Mind if I tag along?”

You can also do this via text if you got his phone number. Send a text for a friend “by mistake” to him to grab his attention.

When they reply puzzled Then text, “Sorry, wrong chat! Anyway, what are you up to?”

Step 8: Tease him with your slyness

When you go clubbing together, get really close to him when you dance.

If he has a female boss, link him to her for no reason at all.

Or, when you casually talk to him about something interesting, hold his hands like a little child while you express yourself. 

You can also hold his arms or snuggle tight to him and say… 

“Didn’t think it’ll be so chilly tonight. Guess you don’t feel so cold because those girls got you all hot.”

Ask teasing questions to ask a guy like:

“Am I on your mind when you’re alone?” or “Show me how you flirt.”

Step 9: Send some pictures (with all innocence!)

Send him a goofy picture and text

“Play with me, I’m bored!”

Or, send a picture of yourself in a new shirt, leave a button open and caption it

“Does this look nice? Should I get it?”

Make sure your pictures look playful and cute.

His imagination will go wild with your pictures.

But it’s not necessary that the picture MUST be about you. You can always send a picture of your food from a nearby café and text,

“The food’s great over here, wanna hang out sometime?”

But you mustn’t text more than twice. Maintain your composure and let him come to you at a good time.

Step 10: Hold back the good things

If you followed everything till here, you already put a lot of effort into him.

Sometimes, you must just let him be. You won’t win a date within a day, so always step back first whenever things get interesting.

Don’t pretend to be mad or ignore him on purpose. Take some time enjoying the good things in your life while he misses you bit by bit.

If you’re always tagging along, you’ll become his dog… and you don’t want that. Maintain your dignity and refrain from jumping behind him at the drop of a hat.

If you want to brush up on your flirting techniques, to become flawless, check out these…

15 Outstanding Tips to Master the Art of Flirting

If you want to be a pro at flirting, you must practice it regularly, else you’ll lose the touch. Also, be patient as you can’t master this art overnight.

Even if you’re a novice at flirting, these tips will help you cover up that fact…

1. Invite them with your eyes and lips

Grab their attention with your frequent glances. Look into their eyes… if you feel uncomfortable look at their nose. Perhaps take a quick glimpse at their lips and back at their eyes.

Smile only when they look at you. If you smile even before they notice you, it might make a negative impact. They’ll interpret it as dirty ogling instead of flirting.

Women! Don’t forget to grab their attention to your pretty pouty lips.

2. Do a quick homework before the talking

Check out the person’s attire and accessories to read their style.

If he/she is a stranger, their outfit itself will give away a lot of deets. Go over to them and start a friendly chat yourself with a hint of pickup lines,


If you know them, check them out anyway to catch their attention. You might take a friend along with you and drop by with a “Hi” if you feel shy or uncomfortable.

3. Don’t customize yourself

Change for the better, if you feel you really need it for becoming a better human being. But don’t change because he/she likes it.

For instance, if you’re overweight, lose weight for your health, not to suit their tastes.


Change the way you talk if you feel it’s rude or vile – not because they expect it or dating experts recommend so.

Flirting isn’t worth losing your individuality, so maintain your charm and originality despite diverse opinions.

4. Spill genuine compliments

Anybody can give compliments like “You’re dashing/stunning” and people don’t bat an eye, because they put a lot of effort behind their look and are always flooded with these 2-3 common words.

Rather, is there really something you like about them? (Hope it’s not about their body!)

 “I find it cute whenever you make a mistake and your ears go red.”


“You have a habit of touching your neck whenever you’re shy… that kinda makes my day.”

Lace the compliments with sweetness and sincerity.

5. Level up with the curious cat

Some say that if you ask too many questions, you’re clingy or you’ll face difficult situations – not when you do it right!

If you don’t get too personal (family, finances, career, academy) while questioning, you’re safe.

Ask genuine questions like “You always carry this charm, what’s the story?” 

…instead of close-ended questions.

Don’t ask something that’ll follow with a long awkwardness while you think of more questions.

6. Keep it fun and light

If your crush is comfortable with you, you don’t need to stay on edge anymore. Rather be playful and childish when you make small talk.

Play conversational games, crack jokes. If you have a lame one, say…

“I have a lame joke, do you want to hear it?”

Even a lame one can earn you a burst of hearty laughter from your crush if you start like that.

You can also catch them off-guard if you use it as an icebreaker.

7. Don’t rush the barrier-breaking

Before you try touching them, you must see if they’re comfortable.

If you’re chatting in the hallway, when someone passes by, stick a little closer to them and observe the response.

Did they step away or move their arms away from you?

After the person passed, step back.

If your crush sticks any closer to you afterward, try to graze the back of your hands with theirs.

Or touch their knee/thigh with yours when sitting together.

8. Don’t be too available

This is not a cue to ignore them intentionally. “If I ignore them, they’ll value me” is a trap.

Learn to prioritize yourself before flirting. Yes, you’re trying to win them over, so help them but not at your own expense.

If your mom needs your help with the chores, do them. You can hang out with your crush later.

Set your priorities straight. Be a knight (irrespective of gender), not a rug!

9. He/she is not the only one!

You can’t be confident with a “Be confident” prompt, rather find a reason to be so.

If you’re not in the flirting stage, they are replaceable. And there are so many single men/women out there.

So, you don’t need to brood over a rejection… someone out there wants to flirt and you will soon find them.

BUT they aren’t holding a placard saying “I want to flirt”, which means you must keep trying until then.

10. Take risks once in a full moon

Instead of smothering your crush with “I love you” or “I can’t live without you”, say something like “You know I do think of you as someone special.”

Remind him/her of your emotions but don’t make it a ritual else you’ll seem needy.

Make them realize that you’re waiting for them and you’re genuine.

If the other person seems uncomfortable you can always step back but better not to have any regrets!

11. Give some naughty hints

If you’re great friends and your flirting game is going cool but at some point, you might think of something sexual. 

Though sexual comments are a big NO-NO, that’s only in the initial phase.

You can be a little more open and share some puns. Make them aware of you as a male/female instead of just one of their friends.

You can bypass the dreadful friend zone if your crush is slightly more aware of you.

12. Keep changing routes

If you expressed yourself and your crush flat-out rejected you, that’s alright! Yes, you’re a human being and can make mistakes.

A well-mannered person will sign off with one apology. But multiple apologies symbolize under-confidence.

Your crush will think “How desperate is he/she to apologize so much?”

Never overdo the apologies. For one wrong move, don’t spoil your friendship or whatever relation you have every single day.

If you move on and behave as if nothing happened, it’s more mature.

13. Teach them to move on

After the apology, keep your distance while they grasp the situation with some space. If you show some respect, you’ll receive some!

After some time, interact with them once again. Don’t bring up bad memories, just talk like the old mates.

If the other person still thinks about it, your behavior might confuse them. But that’s not your business until they talk about it.

Show them you’re a mature person and take rejection like a king/queen.

14. Be aware of their intentions

If your crush starts reciprocating to your flirty effort, that’s honestly great! Definitely go have fun flirting with them… unless they become demanding.

Give them your undivided attention, if they want more of your time, or chat longer.

But when they ask, “Babe, can you buy me that Chanel perfume?”

or, “Darling, I know I asked you out on this date, but I lost my wallet.”

That’s a con right there, don’t step in that trap!

15. Tease when they give in

If your crush starts flirting back with you, playfully ask,

“I see, was that an attempt at flirting?”

Fire up the flirting a little more and dare them to impress you better…

“You’ll impress me if you try once more…”

If you give in to their attempts, it’ll be clear as day that you were eager.

Hold back and observe if they make another move. Are they sporting enough to give more effort? But, if your crush seems hurt, give in.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Even friends can use casual flirting, so don’t always hope for a serious relationship out of it.

Always make sure the person receiving your flirty comments and advances isn’t uncomfortable.

Flirting itself is a fun thing and nothing sexual, but you can add a bit of tease to spice things up. But again, consent is your key.

Look for verbal or non-verbal cues from your crush.

You never want to make a bad impression, but even if you do – it’s okay to back off and restart the relationship as friends if both parties agree.

In the end, remember, one rejection at flirting isn’t the end of your world, so no hard feelings!