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How to Seduce a Woman In-Person and on Texts? 50 Surefire Ways

How to Seduce a Woman In-Person and on Texts? 50 Surefire Ways

Updated on Sep 22, 2022

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

How to Seduce a Woman In-Person and on Texts 50 Surefire Ways

So, someone got you wet down there and now you wanna know how to seduce a woman… 😉

Well, you definitely can’t afford to freeze, so hit the nail while it is still hot. If you’re wondering how to do that, this think-piece will show you everything you need to get intimate with her.

But let me warn you… it won’t be easy. No woman gives away herself in exchange for cheesy words.

If you think you’re up for the game, let’s begin!

How to Seduce a Woman – 25 Ways

If you meet a beautiful woman and want her in your arms ASAP, remember that women have been sexualized for ages… so why will she get seduced by you?

Seducing a woman isn’t impossible… but you gotta show her that you’re worth being seduced by. Don’t forget that seduction isn’t just a game to get her in your bed. It’s a game to get into her heart and mind.

So, if you’re prepared, let the game begin!

1. Take your time

To build sexual tension, men forget to keep their calm and just chase the bounty too hard… that’s the worst way to turn on any woman. Women love getting attention but too much too soon is a red flag!

So, proceed slowly to slowly pull her towards you. Initially, you must do everything to seem like you’re not dying to have her… even if that’s the reality. This will make her want your attention more.

Talk to her but not so often or so much that you have nothing to say on the next date.

2. Groom yourself

If you didn’t know, women, like men, are also visual beings. You’ll catch her attention sooner if you put the effort into your outfits. So, groom your face and hair, and wear flattering clothes according to your body.

If your wardrobe doesn’t have anything good, it’s time for shopping. Don’t forget to take the sales rep’s help to find the best-suited ones.

On the other hand, if you feel uncomfortable with a certain style of clothes or grooming, don’t get it just because it’s trendy. Don’t compromise with comfort or you’ll lose confidence.

3. Respond when she speaks

When she talks, make her feel special by paying attention to her. Otherwise, if a woman doesn’t feel heard, she won’t open up to you next time. So, try to adapt to good conversation skills.

Try maintaining eye contact to create an unnatural connection and show that you’re listening. During the conversation, never be at a loss for words.

If you don’t have much to say and she does most of the talking, give her nonverbal cues like a nod or “yeah…” and keep the convo both-sided.

4. Never doubt yourself

The sexiest trait any human being can have is CONFIDENCE! Even your lady love has insecurities… but you mustn’t focus too much on them because it is absolutely normal. Instead, be proud of your good traits.

Women don’t feel comfortable spending time with a pessimistic person. So, even if you don’t earn a huge amount or aren’t happy with how things are in life. Take pride in how much effort you put in.

However, make sure you don’t sound overconfident as that sounds like bragging and can make anyone uncomfortable.

5. Depend on your body language

Another way to show off your confidence to a woman and not sound like a self-obsessed jackass is to show it with your body. Body language is one of the best ways to flirt with anyone.

For instance, keep an open and friendly stance to her by not crossing your arms. Face her when you talk with her. Straighten your back and relax your shoulders to make her feel protected and secure around you.

Smile while maintaining eye contact to flirt blatantly… this will definitely make her blush.

6. Throw in pickup lines appropriately

Pickup lines are actually overused and overrated for ages. They’re fun if you want to catch her attention or make her laugh. But don’t expect the regular pickup lines to make her fall in your arms… because bruh, those can be tacky at times.

But hey… I can’t ask you to totally ditch all pickup lines. So, make sure you choose something unique and relatable to your situation.

Moreover, choose the correct time and mood to deliver it. Don’t assume it will change her bad mood after getting the news of a loved one’s sickness.

7. Take care of any odor

In the art of seduction, smell plays a major role… so, make sure you or your belongings stink because women don’t like that. Instead, you must give off a pleasant aroma.

For your personal hygiene, wash well and use a suitable perfume or deodorant. Ask her beforehand about her choices in perfumes for the best results.

If you’ll ask her over to your place, let some sunlight and fresh air inside to get rid of any odor. Use a room freshener or even light mild-smelling incense like sandalwood or vanilla.

8. Impress her with musical tastes

Music and songs can help you express that you desire her without spelling it out. If you can play music or sing, that’s a great way to draw her towards you.

But if you’re not talented in music, don’t fret… try seducing her with a dedicated playlist. Make sure, the music emphasizes her tastes, so know those beforehand. Choose a song from one of her favorite bands that’s romantic, sensual, and soothing.

Don’t force her to listen to the music of your choice… she might get put off instead.

9. Create a romantic atmosphere

Do you know that seducing a woman sounds easy until you have to create a romantic ambiance?

If you’re a woman seducing a woman, you probably won’t need this tip because women have a good sense of this.

To create the perfect atmosphere, decorate your place with aromatic candles, dim lights, and flowers… however, don’t use too much of anything as it creates pressure.

Especially, if you’ll bring her over to your house, make sure nothing is distracting like a pile of unwashed clothes on the couch.

10. Break the touch barrier

You’re thinking about how to seduce a girl… but does she know that you’re seducing her?

She probably thinks you’re being friendly…

Before you blurt out “I’m seducing you” out of fear of being friend-zoned, WHOA there! You can also show your intentions nonverbally with physical contact.

If she feels cold, put your jacket around her. If you’re walking in a crowded street, hold her hands or put your arms around her shoulders. If you want to kiss her for the first time, kiss her a little away from the corner of her lips.

Don’t be too hasty and she’ll ache for more.

11. Be mysterious

While seducing women, most men forget that less is more. So, even though you want to be transparent with her, you better not tell her everything about yourself.

Tell her enough to keep her wanting to know more. Express minute yet crucial details about yourself but don’t explain them in-depth. Instead, shift the topic to something else.

Make her want to know more and wait until she asks. If you give her everything on a silver platter, then what’s the fun in that?

12. Make her laugh

It’s always easier to seduce a woman when you can make her laugh at your jokes. So, put an effort to show her that you care for her.

However, don’t get too serious, learn all the jokes in the world, and make a clown out of yourself. A woman doesn’t want a stand-up comedian!

Especially, never use self-derogatory jokes… if your jokes highlight your insecurity, that’ll be a huge blow to your confidence and her perception of you.

So, deliver a joke or two and get back to serious topics… or she’ll think you can’t have a serious conversation.

13. Keep sexual advances off the table

Before you assume seduction is the same as sexual contact, STOP! No woman likes to be fondled in any erogenous zones without consent. In reality, sexual seduction is only a part of it and it comes way later.

Focus on her other senses like the ones I mentioned till now, smell, physical touch (not sexual), and hearing. Tease her emotional and intellectual sides to build that connection.

Until and unless you get the green signal from her, don’t grab her… instead touch her lightly on nonsexual body parts.

14. Throw in genuine compliments

If you want to seduce her and have her body, tease her mind with compliments. But never throw generic words like “your outfit looks great!” as they can be used for anyone and everyone.

Instead, say what makes it special like “The blue dress really pops your skin tone”.

Moreover, make sure you don’t always compliment her appearance. Tell her that you feel she has a great sense of humor or that she’s an amazingly hard worker and she inspires you. She’ll know you’re not just after her body!

15. Be a gentleman

Whether you’re a man or a woman seducing a woman, gentlemanly qualities will always make her feel like a queen. For instance, make her feel comfortable, heard, validated, and cherished.

Nobody refuses a person that treats them like a king/queen. Hold the door for her, let her choose date night destinations, and respect her choices… however, don’t hurt your self-respect.

Make sure that you don’t act like a pushover to make her happy. If you seem too desperate to have her, she might get turned off or even take advantage of you.

16. Focus on her body language

Once you put enough effort and time into seducing her, notice her body language. She might not sport an open and positive body language initially. So, make sure you try to make her feel comfortable if she seems reserved.

Whether she seems bored or excited, interested or confused, you’ll understand how she reacts to a particular topic. Take a mental note of her reactions to perform better next time.

Or, if she’s bored, confused, or uncomfortable, you can always ask her directly about what’s wrong. She’ll feel cherished that way.

17. Don’t talk just about your accomplishments

More often than not, men just keep boasting… and women are like “Yeah, we understand you’re GREAT… but did you try to know how it makes me feel?”

It can put her off if you talk about yourself too much… she might even assume you’re not interested in her at all.

On the other hand, if she didn’t accomplish as much as you, she might assume you want to rub off on her wounds.

See how all the wrong signals go when you’re too self-obsessed?

So, talk about your struggles to seem human!

18. Try to not get drunk

Alcohol helps you let loose but is she comfortable enough to see your drunken persona? If you guys recently met, this is a bad idea!

Your drunk, stuttering, unbalanced self might even scare her. She might not want to spend time with you anymore. Your friends might ask you to down a shot before approaching her as it’ll calm your nerves… well, it’ll make her anxious!

Moreover, she’ll discuss your actions with her friends and they’ll all go NOPE!

19. Don’t curse in front of her

A well-mannered person can seduce a woman far easier than a total savage with a rough and crass lingo. Even if she knows you wanna seduce her, she’ll think you’re too insensitive to know how to treat a woman… even if your rowdy language isn’t directed at her.

Nobody wants to hear curses 24/7. But, if you use it on others, she’ll be scared for her life because what if someday she makes a mistake and you treat her the same?

20. Buy her special gifts

First of all, find out what your woman likes… and no, I’m not talking about jewelry, accessories, and cars. If you can and want to splurge on her, that’s okay but a thoughtful gift will sweep her off her feet much faster.

Understand what she finds adorable or heart-touching and invest in that. If you give her a thoughtful gift, that’ll make her feel more special and she’ll get seduced emotionally faster.

It might seem small to you but it’ll be the most precious thing for her!

21. Focus on her comfort

Another sweet and romantic way to seduce a woman is to pay attention to her likes. When she tells you about her choices about dates, taste in movies, music, and book genres, food, dance, or anything else, mentally take notes.

Use these ideas later on in your follow-up dates to surprise her. If you learn about her likes and dislikes, you can avoid serious landmines and hop in her good books early. You can also surprise her confidently instead of wasting your time thinking about whether she likes something or not.

22. Be clear about your intentions

Women notice it quickly when someone tries to flirt or seduce them. But they usually don’t mention anything about it even if they’re disinterested.

No, she’s not greedy for your attention!

Instead, almost all women tried to politely refuse someone with “I have a partner” or “I’m not interested” and got seriously trolled. She might hesitate for similar reasons.

Moreover, she might also fear that you’re just being friendly and she reads too much in between the lines. So, once you spend enough time with her, come clear with your intentions!

23. Focus on her goals

Ask her about her goals and hopes in life to build an intimate bond. Some other serious topics that can get you both closer are her fears, her dreams, and so on. During the conversations, try to know her on a deeper level.

Try to make it less about you and more about her. This way she’ll know you’re interested in knowing her and not just want to get into her pants.

However, don’t interrogate her! Instead, shuffle the serious questions with lighthearted ones.

24. Don’t pay attention to other women

Whether in person or online, don’t try to seduce other women! A woman gets seduced faster when she knows that she’s the ONLY ONE for you. Don’t let your eyes wander to another woman’s long legs or ample chests… objectifying was never an attractive trait.

On the other hand, even if you’re not friends with her on social media, don’t treat others the same… because what if her acquaintances are present on your account?

Trust me… women are detectives and if you try to double-time her, that’s your CASE CLOSED moment!

25. Let her take charge

During dates, don’t always choose everything on her behalf. Nowadays, women hate it when men assume a woman will only have salad for dinner or that she can’t choose the next date venue. Let her enjoy being in charge…she’ll love to take over.

Moreover, if you asked her out on the first three dates, don’t ask her out next time. Wait until she asks you out… it’ll also clarify whether she’s truly interested or was being friendly.

But if you hardly meet with that woman and can only reach out through texts, let’s change gears and enter this…

How to Seduce a Woman on Text – 25 Ways

If you can only connect with this woman through texts and don’t have enough possibilities to meet her in person, don’t worry. You can still seduce her heart and body with your words.

Though texting numbs a lot of emotions and reduces the impact, I’ll show you exactly how to get her heart thumping for you. So, let’s get down to work here…

26. Send her a vague text message

To find out whether she wants to respond to you or if she’s interested in you, send a blank text or a simple “hey”. She’ll wonder what you want and text you back to know to ask what’s the matter.

Moreover, a vague text without a topic allows you to steer the topic as you need and as per her mood. If her reply makes her sound rude or that she’s busy, you can change the topic to ease the situation.

27. Take your time before replying

In dating and seduction games, you can’t reply to a text right away. If you send quick replies, she’ll know you’re desperate and get turned off thinking “Oh… is this a booty call? Seems like they were waiting for my text!”

Instant replies show that you’re at her mercy or that you don’t have a life… even if it’s literally your break time!

So, even if you’re excited, hold your reins… notice how long she took to reply and reply after a similar time gap.

28. Use emojis to flirt

In the modern era, flirting and seducing over text messages is super fun because of the variety of emojis available. Emojis are a total game changer because they can help you convey your seductive emotions without saying much.

However, since women use them more, men shy away from them. That’s where men go wrong… women are a sucker for emotions!

She’ll love it when you make your texts more bubbly and fun with it… so give her what she wants.

29. Tease her with typos

Autocorrect is a B1t©#! I mean tell me a time when you didn’t write something weird to the wrong person. But even if autocorrect is off, there’s more trouble… typos.

So, if she ever sends texts with manual or autocorrect typos… take advantage of the moment. Tease her with it and brew up a hilarious moment with her.

She’ll blush, laugh, and feel a bit shy and aware of you. It’s perfect to build that cutesy connection with her.

30. Let the woman have her time

Never text her at off hours like 2 in the morning… do you know who texts at those hours? Fu©kboys!

Before you get misunderstood that you only wanna get in her pants, never ever do that. Don’t text her when she might sleep or be busy with something.

On the other hand, if she has an important exam at 10 in the morning, she really doesn’t want to lose her focus while texting you. So, know about her routine over time and allow her space.

31. Send goodnight texts

However, in seduction, a man’s sweet side can be a huge pro. So, just before bedtime, text her a sweet goodnight text or in the morning of her exam, and all the best texts will do the trick.

The short message will show her that you care for her, miss her, and even remember little details about her life. You can stand out from the crowd this way.

But mind the last pointer, and don’t distract her unnecessarily. You wanna be sweet and caring, not insensitive and selfish.

32. Learn to stay calm

Sometimes she might leave you on read and not reply to you for hours. It sucks and you think “Can’t she even reply that she’s busy and will get back to me later?”

Well… maybe she can’t. So, don’t always assume the worst as your thoughts and assumptions might spoil your seduction games.

In this situation, don’t shoot her with multiple texts, she’ll be put off.  She’ll feel you’re insensitive and that you don’t respect her space and time. Let her get back to you on her own!

33. Avoid too short texts

So, men often send one-word texts even among the homies. But don’t forget that she’s no homie… if you wanna seduce her, one-word texts will send the wrong signals her way.

She might think you’re busy or have lost interest in her… or that you don’t think she’s worth that much time and effort. So, reply in full sentences and sweetly even if it’s short.

For instance:

Her: How are you? You: Alright [you seem disinterested]

You: I’m great… I didn’t anticipate a text from a beautiful woman. So, what about you?

That’s short enough and sweet!

34. Make sure your texts are grammatically correct

Many women get ticked off with bad grammar… they don’t think you’re illiterate but they just feel “Is he texting so many women that he types UR instead of YOU’RE?”

Moreover, get over the confusion about their, they’re, and there and be alert about your verbs.

She might assume the worst of you even if that’s not the case… and she’ll take that grudge to her grave!

So, mind the grammar when you type. Good grammar is actually a dealmaker and pushes you to the main course.

35. Use different lingo sparingly

If you know a different language or claim to have traveled a lot… show that in your texts. Send one or two sentences in that language to prove it. This will make you seem edgy and well-cultured.

However, wait for the catch!

If you do it too frequently, she might assume you’re a show-off. Or, if she’s not that familiar or feels uncomfortable, it might seem like you want to show her you’re better.

Make sure you use it less to seduce her… not reduce her confidence.

36. Respect will take you far

If you got her phone number but hardly know her in person, you gotta tread carefully. You can’t find a difference between single women and married women.

You don’t want to seduce a married woman with texts unknowingly and make her cheat on her husband. Even if you get attracted to a married woman and get involved in an extramarital affair, imagine the possible troubles.

So, stay respectful until you know about her marital status. If she says she has an open marriage, talk to her husband once.

37. When joking, add an emoji

Modern-day jokes are all about sarcasm and dark humor. BUT… she might not receive your texts as funny. If she misses the humor part and takes it seriously, she’ll block you for good.

So, when you send her a joke or sarcastic text, definitely use emojis to show it’s a joke or even add a “#jk” [just kidding].

In texting, showing a sense of humor is hard because plain texts never show you emotions… but emojis can use them wisely!

38. Give her a sweet and unique pet name with reasons

A pet name is used among people that are really close so it’s a great way to show what you feel for her or how much you’re into her.

However, don’t call her something she probably already gets called. If her name is Alexa, she probably goes by Al or Alex.

To be creative, think about her hobbies or what she does for a living. Does she work as an assistant? Call her “Assistant Al”. You can make her pet name with something serious and fun.

39. Be spontaneous

If she also likes you back, she might anticipate your texts all day long. So, randomly text her something fun in the middle of the day, when you’re usually busy to show her she’s always on your mind.

Suppose something fun happened at the office. When you get a break, text her about it in short. She’ll be over the moon to know you texted her first in the middle of your busy schedule.

However, don’t do it too frequently as the trick might lose its charm.

40. Nobody wants your picture

Never send your pictures to her randomly when she doesn’t ask for them. A rush of emotions hits a woman when she receives it like:

*What did he send me?* *A picture of himself?* *Does he think I have nothing better to do or that I’ll get seduced by this?*… total turn off!

On the other hand, if she asks for your picture, respect your body! She doesn’t want your shirtless picture or you highlighting her bulge. Send a decent close-up and that’s it.

41. Never go for unsolicited you-know-what pictures

It’s funny that to date many men still don’t get it… but that just forces me to spell this out.

Until and unless she asks for your nudes, don’t send her. You might fantasize about her being naked and aching for you… but a picture of your banana won’t make her go bananas!

Women don’t want to see man junk before knowing you… keep that to yourself for the love of god. It totally ruins your seduction games.

42. Absolutely never ask for her pictures

Unless you know her pretty well for a long time and also spend time in person a lot, DON’T ask for her pictures. Oh, I’m not talking about nudes… those are out of the question anyway. Don’t even ask for normal pictures.

No woman on the planet doesn’t know what men might do with their picture.

I don’t mean that you will use it for that purpose, but you might. Women aren’t okay with that kind of stuff… it’s too creepy so tone it down.

If you both have common interests in series or novels, then that’s another way to build a sizzling connection. Throw in popular quotes here and there so you can have your own inner joke moment.

However, don’t make any mistakes while quoting. If you’ll use it, use it right or go home. Otherwise, if you spoil the dialogues from her favorite series, she’ll be too annoyed to text you back.

Moreover, don’t overdo it as it’ll look like you have nothing else to say than the quotes.

44. Flirt but keep it down

Send her flirty texts here and there to remind her that you’re not just a friend and you mean to have her all to yourself soon. If you play the good boy and never get a bit naughty, she might really think you’re being friendly.

So, send flirtatious and naughty texts… but don’t send or ask for nudes or ask her to sext.

Remember to flirt once in a while and not continuously, or she’ll think you want her body only… which is again a turn-off.

45. Honesty is your best way out

I hope you don’t want to seduce a woman just because you want her body.

Of course, I don’t expect you to fall in love at first sight/text… but if you turn to like her with time, confess your feelings. If she doesn’t know what she is to you, she can’t respond to you.

If you want to know how to seduce a married woman or how to seduce a woman for a casual connection, be honest about your feelings for her and see if she’s open to it.

46. Bring up the good times

If you have a good history with her, bring up old funny shared experiences to deepen the bond. Women like it when men remember small details about them. It makes them feel special.

So, think long and hard about a time which you cherish about her. She’ll even feel that you notice her for a long while back. She’ll put her guard down and will be more than willing to be seduced.

47. Don’t try to know everything over text

You want to know her better and get closer to her and that’s great… but don’t always ask questions. She might feel interrogated and get creeped out if you shoot her with multiple questions at once.

She might even misinterpret your intentions, feel scared of you, and block you. So, discuss your daily life to balance the tone of your texts. Let her also have a glimpse of your updates.

48. Send something funny

If you’re texting on social media or an app like WhatsApp instead of texting from your phone, you can even forward funny memes and jokes. Use them to lighten up the mood and show off your meme knowledge.

It’ll show off your funny side and if you guys have similar interests, you might get seduced by your meme collection.

49. Show your vulnerabilities

Women LOVE it when men share their emotional and vulnerable side… because it stirs up their maternal instincts and they feel like being more caring toward you.

However, make sure you stay truthful. Don’t make stories because women have a strong nose for emotional stuff… you lie and it’s game over!

So, state the truth… don’t exaggerate anything and you’ll nail this part pretty well.

50. Don’t compliment just her looks

Give her compliments if she sends you her picture or uploads one on her social media accounts. However, don’t wait to pour out words like stunning, gorgeous, sexy, pretty, and similar things.

During your texting journey, you’ll find a lot about her talents, hobbies, interests, and her character. Appreciate her for those and show her she matters despite her appearances. You’ll win her heart and seduce her in no time with this.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Just to be clear, seduction is a lengthy process and it’s not about making a girl fall for you so badly that she’ll give away her precious body.

Seduction is a way to reach out to her heart and show that you can protect and respect her for all of eternity and sex might be one of the rewards she might give you in the future.

If you play your cards right, she’ll be seduced even without realizing it and want to date you. Be confident and clear about your intentions, and she’ll be there waiting to be swept off her feet soon!