You may often wonder how to make the first move every time you feel attracted to someone. Making the first move is not always easy but if you start working on your confidence level, things can be less complicated.
If you like someone and are wondering how to make the first move, we have covered several points for several situations to help you to find your way.
How To Make The First Move – 35 Effective Ways
When you catch a romantic interest in someone you see, you may start feeling butterflies in your stomach.
These feelings will make you nervous and insecure and it is going to be hard to talk about your feelings loudly.
Even if you are alone you may end up smiling just by thinking about them. This can increase the attention you pay to yourself and you may start putting more effort into yourself to impress them.
Though you want to take your relationship to the next level in your mind, it can be hard to do something about it. The more intense your emotions are, the more worried you will be to take the first step.
But, if you pay some extra attention to your behavior and your words when you are around them, it is possible to make the first move smoothly.
Express your feelings through your behavior and see how they react.
It is really important to understand what they have in mind. Consider their feelings and expectations when you are trying to make a move and be careful not to make them feel uncomfortable in any way.
1. Make eye contact
Eye contact is the easiest way to catch someone’s attention and show your interest in him. Looking directly into the eyes of someone can be really intimidating and attractive too.
When you find someone attractive and want to make the first move, show them the spark you have in your eyes.
Be careful about the way you are looking at the person you are having a crush on. A cold and long stare can creep him out and make things complicated.
The person you are looking at should not feel uncomfortable and afraid of the way you are looking. This will push him away instead of attracting him to you.
2. Put a smile on your face
Eye contact is not always enough to make the first move, it can creep him out if you do not have a smile on your face.
A simple smile can convey all your feelings for someone and it can make you attractive as well.
When you are making eye contact with someone just put a soft smile on your face. Pay attention to their reaction to your smile, if they are smiling back at you or they are trying to avoid you.
If he likes you the same way and you two have some spark in between, a simple smile can bring you two closer.
The response of your smile can help you to understand if he is interested in you or not and you can plan the next step accordingly.
3. Move closer to him
Leaning into someone is a symbol of your interest in that person. Before doing it you must be certain if he is interested in you or not.
If someone is not that much interested in you, this can convey the wrong message sometimes.
Try to figure out what the person in front thinks about you first. Once you are on talking terms with him, lean in towards him in the middle of your conversation smoothly.
If he moves away that means he is feeling uncomfortable or it can be a clear indication he does not like you the same way.
If he is in the same position or he is also moving closer to you that makes his feelings for you pretty clear.
4. Start a casual conversation
It is really important that you both enjoy each other’s company. Start a subtle and casual conversation with him and keep him engaged. Figure out what are the things that he is interested in and start a discussion about them. Try to make it entertaining.
If you do not know him personally, start an introductory conversation and get to know each other.
Talk about his likes and dislikes, and the things that he wants to achieve in life. The conversation should not be one sided. Give him enough opportunity to ask questions or to express himself.
Avoid any serious topics and do not let the conversation get too intense. Make it light and fun. Make sure that he enjoys every moment he is spending with you.
5. Never be afraid to text him first
If you have his number with you never think twice before texting him. If you like someone from the core of your heart and you want to take things to the next level, never be afraid to take the initiative.
Think of something fun and flirty and send the first message from your end. If that person likes you too, you will definitely receive a reply soon.
If you are wondering whether you should text him first or not, it is possible that he is also thinking the same. Take the chance and make your move before it is too late.
Nothing bad can happen in this situation, whether you will receive a reply or not. In any way, it will be easier to figure out the thoughts he has about you.
6. Go with the flow
It is not necessary that every time things will fall in the exact space you want them to be.
You should be strong enough to handle the situation when things are taking a new turn. Never panic and try to handle things smoothly. Try to go with the flow and act according to the situation you are experiencing at that point.
Love does not have any rule books, it will make things a lot easier when you are flexible enough to go with the situation.
Believe in yourself and let him surprise you in different ways, you will find an appropriate way to respond in every situation.
7. Do not get anxious
No one can deny the fact that whenever you are trying to make a move on someone you like, you will feel really anxious about it. It is really hard to take the first step in expressing your feelings for someone.
You may feel nervous as well as insecure and it can affect your confidence level and your ability to move forward.
Getting over anxious about it can mess everything up and you may lose your chance to initiate something with the person you like.
Try to calm yourself down and work on your confidence level before doing something. Once your mind is relaxed, plan about the things you want to do.
A calm mind is always beneficial to doing something intense like confessing your true feelings for the person you like. It will motivate you to gain all the courage you need and come clean.
8. Say something flirty but not offensive
Healthy flirting is always very enjoyable when you are talking to someone you like. Find something flirty to say to her and see how she reacts.
It is always better if you can understand her thoughts and her preferences.
Avoid saying anything that can be offensive or can convey a wrong message to her. Keep things simple and always put a smile on your face.
Try to figure out what you want to say to her and prepare how you want to start the conversation.
Otherwise, you may end up looking stupid figuring out what to say to her, and end up embarrassing yourself.
9. Pass a nice compliment
A nice compliment can never go wrong. Think about all the things that you like about her and say them out loud. No matter how serious the situation is, a genuine compliment can always make a girl smile.
Avoid using any negative words while talking to her, there is no need to talk about anything you do not like about her so soon.
Keep an open mind and try not to be judgemental about the things she does. You can talk about her personality, her appearance or about her professional life and achievements in life.
Try not to fake a compliment. It can make things complicated, only talk about the things that you genuinely find attractive.
10. Ask for her number after figuring out her interest
Never ask for her phone number just after you meet someone. Try not to act desperate and handle the situation smoothly.
First, establish a good conversation with her and get to know her. Never rush into something, it can make your intention questionable to her. Give it some time and try to figure out if she is developing an interest in you or not.
If you feel that she is enjoying your company and she wants to spend more time with you, use this sign as an opportunity and ask for her number.
11. Show her your sense of humor
A good sense of humor can always win a girl’s heart. Make the conversation more fun with your charms and your words.
You can make simple jokes about different things that can bring a smile to her face.
It can help you to break the ice and make her comfortable around you. A fun and happy conversation can develop a connection in between.
But while making several jokes, be very careful about the words you are using. Keep your joke simple and less complicated to understand.
The person in front should be able to relate to it otherwise it can create a misunderstanding and awkwardness between you two.
12. Approach her friends to help you
If you are out of plans and you are not sure what to do, you can always ask for help from her friends. Things can be really difficult to figure out at times.
You may not be able to understand what is going on in her mind and it can hold you back from taking the first step.
Talk to her friends if there is a chance and try to understand what she thinks about you. It can also help you to find out about her likes and dislikes in different aspects of life and give you some new ideas to make a move.
You can also discuss your plans with them and ask for their assistance to make your plan effective entirely.
13. Flirt like they are already attached
If you are crushing on someone you already know things can be a lot easier sometimes. You already know about their preferences and their thoughts about you and it will be really helpful to plan something out.
You can start with some healthy flirting but not the same way you would flirt with an unknown person.
Work on the bond you already have with that person and behave like they are already attached to you.
If you want to make a move on someone, you must really like that person. Now it is time to express that with all your confidence and believe in yourself.
14. Look your best
Work on your appearance and try to look your best when they are around. Try to catch their attention with your charm.
Do something different with yourself so that they notice the change. It can change the way they look at you and create a spark in between.
15. Physical touch
Physical touch is always important for any romantic relationship. When you have a crush on someone you already know it is more comfortable for both of you to take things further.
Try to increase the physical touch with that person and let them feel the warmth you have to offer.
A soft kiss on the cheek or a tight hug can convey how you really feel about someone. Sometimes just holding each other’s arms or offering your shoulder to rest their head can also do the trick.
It means that you are there for them whenever they need you and you will always do right by them.
But be careful that your physical touch should not make them uncomfortable or convey a wrong message in any way. It should be filled with love and affection, it must not show any lust or desires.
16. Invite them on a date
Everyone feels attracted to so many people in their lifespan but very few times they can gather the courage to take the initiative.
Most of the time they take too much time to figure out how to ask them out and end up losing their crush.
If you both are pretty close then you can ask them out directly for a date. This will make everything else a lot easier and faster. There is no point in waiting if you both like each other the same way.
Sometimes even if you both have feelings for each other, it can be a huge matter of conflict over who should take the first step.
This conflict can waste your valuable time where you both could have made some amazing memories together.
Never delay when you are certain about the person in front. Gather all your confidence, be the one to ask them out first, and create some magical moments together.
17. Follow up after the last meet
It is always important to have a follow up after a date with someone. Never go all silent after a nice date with the person you like.
It can create a misunderstanding and develop some negative thoughts about the date.
The other person may feel that you are not very satisfied or happy about the date and you are not interested anymore.
This silence in between can create an invisible wall in between. Be the one to initiate a nice conversation after a date and try to figure out how they felt.
If everything goes right you can always take the next step and ask for a second date.
18. Look for cues
When you want to take things into the bedroom, you have to look for the cues and figure out if they are interesting or not. Give your partner some time to get to know you first.
When they are ready they will also give some signals, you have to pay attention to their behavior and try to read between the lines.
Once you receive the green signal you can take the first step by leaning in for a kiss. Do not panic and try to take things as smoothly as possible.
If he/ she is ready they will also move closer to you. But if they are trying to move away, stop right there, they may need some more time to take the next step.
19. Ask permission before anything new
Always ask for their permission before doing something new. They should feel that you always value their opinions and their decisions.
It is not necessary that something you like should also be likable to them. It is better to ask for their consent before introducing something new.
Never try to force something onto them. They should not have to force themself to do something against their will. Be very careful about your behavior and your attitude towards them.
Asking for their opinion, especially in the bedroom can always please them and get them into the mood.
20. Take it slow
Enjoy every moment you are spending together and never rush for the climax. Take it as slowly as you can.
Make every moment really special and pleasurable for them. You can introduce more foreplay and move forward slowly.
21. Make them feel comfortable
They must feel comfortable opening up in front of you without any fear of judgment. Try to understand if they are facing any issues with anything you are doing, and help to resolve those.
If she is not feeling comfortable around you, nothing will matter anymore. Try to figure out if anything is bothering them and take proper measures to eliminate those.
22. Ask for feedback
Feedback is really important in this situation. Everything you are doing always asks for their feedback. Find out the things that they liked and disliked. It will help you to plan your next step more enjoyable for you both.
23. Pay attention to her body language
Someone shy may not be able to express what she is actually feeling about you, but it can always reflect in her body language.
See how she reacts when you are with her, especially when you are trying to make eye contact with her.
No matter how shy she is, she will always notice every detail about you and will always try to make you happy.
Once you realize that she likes you, start expressing your feelings too. Give her several hints about your emotions and see how she reacts.
Show her that even if she is unable to open up about her feelings, you can still understand everything.
24. Create an ambiance
A good ambiance is always beneficial for the people who are unable to speak their hearts. Plan something romantic for your date, if you are taking her out choose a place that has romantic vibes.
You can also plan an indoor date and decorate your place with some candles and some roses. Play some nice romantic songs in the background.
You can arrange a candle night dinner and have a nice dance together or you can do anything you both enjoy doing together.
25. Communicate non verbally
Non verbal communication is equally important to start something amazing. Put more effort into your behavior towards her and never leave a chance to make her feel special.
Doing small things like helping her out in a time of crisis, buying something that she really needs, or taking care of her when she is not feeling well even if she does not ask for them will show how much you care for her.
Pay attention to the smallest things that are going on in her life. Show your interest when she is excited or sad about something, show her that you really care.
26. Be honest
Honestly, it is really important when you are making a move to start a relationship with someone. You must prove yourself to be loyal and trustworthy.
If she is trusting you with someone, never break her trust in any situation. It can hurt her so bad and drive her away especially if she is shy.
Make her believe that you are honest from your heart and she can put her faith in you. Avoid lying to her about anything and give her enough time to open up about her emotions.
27. Be confident
If the girl you like turns out to be a shy person, you have to be the confident one.
Your confidence can motivate her too and help to develop her confidence level. If you are talking about something, try to be sure about it.
If you are confident enough about her, it can make her more confused about everything.
If you are experiencing any conflict about being with her try to resolve it on your own first, without showing it when she is with you.
28. Initiate a conversation
Someone shy may not be able to communicate her feelings for you. In this situation, you have to be the person in charge.
Initiate a nice conversation with her and talk about your feelings and see how she reacts.
It is not necessary that you only have to talk about your emotions. You can talk about anything you want. Start a discussion about your goals or your needs.
Give her enough time to feel comfortable and participate in the discussion. Appreciate her when she is talking about something. It will help her to open up and increase your bond too.
29. Give positive vibes
A person will never be attracted to you if he does not receive a positive vibe. If you want him to make a move on you, try to work on your positivity.
He must feel happy and relaxed when you are around. A positive mind can always make every moment more peaceful and memorable.
30. You can make them jealous
If you feel that he likes you and you want him to make the first move, try to make him jealous. You can talk about your other guy friends in front of him.
Sometimes talking about a celebrity crush works too. You can also ask any of your guy friends to pretend to flirt with you in front of him.
When he sees that someone else is trying to make a move on you, he will never waste a single moment to win you over. Healthy competition can always motivate someone to take the initiative.
Remember not to overdo it. Excessive jealousy can turn into hopelessness or negativity. He may start losing interest and stop trying if he thinks that he does not have a chance anymore.
31. Play with your hair
Boys can really get attracted to a girl when she plays with her hair. It always catches their attention and pulls them closer.
When you twirl your hair it can create an oxytocin rush most of the time which always does the entire magic.
32. Look away then look at him again
This is slightly different than making eye contact. If you find him looking at you, make eye contact then look away for a few seconds then glance back again with a soft smile.
If you do it a few times he will never be able to ignore it.
This is a direct signal that you want him to approach you and make a move. If he is genuinely interested in you, this is enough for him to understand what you are wishing for.
33. Be open
If you want a girl to approach you, never pretend to be unavailable or not interested. It will definitely ruin everything.
Be open and drop some hints that you really like her. Do not play too hard to get, it can irritate and she may start losing interest in you.
34. Encourage her
Always be responsive. If she is trying to flirt with you, always flirt back. Not giving any reaction can make her feel embarrassed and weird.
Encourage her with your behavior when she is taking the initiative and planning something for you both. Show her that you are emotionally available and excited to be with her as well.
Mirroring is another huge signal that you want the person in front to make the move. Observe her body language and try to mirror them.
If she is doing something, try to copy her, though it does not mean that you have to imitate her behavior.
Every time she is taking one step toward you, the next step should be yours. For example, if she is moving closer, you also need to move towards her; if she is leaning in for a kiss, do not move away.
It will give her more confidence and excitement to take the next step. Otherwise, not getting any positive response from your side may make her feel awkward and sad.
Making the first move is never that easy but if you follow the right path with confidence, it can be less difficult. You have to be sure about your decision and resolve all your conflicts first.
Listen to your heart and gather all the courage you can and move toward the person you like.
You have to be calm and relaxed, being anxious can ruin your confidence and make you nervous. There is nothing to be afraid of.
Drop some hints and look for similar signs from their side. Take the next step without overthinking, something beautiful is waiting for you.
Taneya has completed her post-graduation in Clinical Psychology. She has work experience at different NGOs and hospitals as a mental health worker and as an intern. She is very passionate about creativity and writing since her childhood. Her first poem was published in a well-known magazine at the age of ten. She actively writes short stories, poems, and long stories in different magazines and books. She is trained in Indian classical music. She is always eager to learn new things and explore new places. She loves to express her thoughts and feelings through creativity.