Why he chose her over you is the question that keeps playing inside your mind, to search for a suitable answer and restore calmness.
It is never easy for you to accept this, especially when you have entertained thoughts of settling down. Was everything one-sided from your end?
What went wrong?
Let’s explore –
Why He Chose Her Over You? – Find Out What Is Going On Inside His Mind
When you have been spending time with a man for some time, exchanging thoughts with one another, hanging out at different places now and then, it is obvious that you would think of marrying him.
Naturally, you would feel that the other person is also thinking along those lines. Unfortunately, he goes on to choose another he has been dating simultaneously or dates after you.
Once you find out the truth, you will naturally look for reasons why he did so. Let us find out the possible reasons behind the same –
1. He Never Had Plans of Marrying You
When it comes to choosing their life partners, most men know quite early into the relationship whether they want to go the distance with someone. They will not tell you anything about it.
Most of the men know when they have made up their mind to have a girl as a keeper, usually within the first three months of dating with them.
If you were forcing him to keep the relationship going and asking for a serious commitment from his end, no matter how hard it is to say, but you should have never done that.
2. His Heart Had Got Stuck on Her Not You
The attachment styles of two individuals play a crucial role in determining whether you will forge a relationship with another person. If there is a clash between two styles of attachment, emotions will never manage to stick together.
For example, if you are anxious and he happens to be a person of avoidant type, both of you would create a lot of drama than actually gelling together in the hope of having a long-term relationship.
Therefore, no wonder he went on to choose her over you, as he could relate his emotions better with her compared to that of yours.
3. He Did Not Receive Proper Treatment from You
There is no way you can be abusive and expect to receive support from your partner. If you resort to abuse and show anger for no valid reason, it is most likely that you will end up leading your life alone.
If you are the one getting abused, then no one would judge you for leaving your partner or even think for a moment why you had gone on to choose another person over your present partner. Therefore, you must treat them well.
4. He Is Glued to Her Uncertainty
If a person is an open book and reveals everything about their personality, likes, and dislikes, it makes you feel like there is nothing more to look forward to in them. On the other hand, a slight bit of uncertainty can make things exciting and fuel your inquisitiveness as well.
Therefore, he feels that he knows every little detail about you, while the other person happens to be somewhat elusive. She makes him feel as if he is chasing a mysterious box that contains the ultimate prize. Thus, he has become seriously attracted to her.
5. He Did Not Get Any Valid Reason to Show Commitment Toward You
Most men love free meals getting served to them on a platter. In this respect, a man can experience some sort of pampering from a woman, who might act as his wife.
Then he would never find any valid reason why he should make a long-term commitment toward you.
It is because he is getting everything that he desires without doing so. He would never think or care about fulfilling your needs.
Alternatively, the person he has chosen over you has shown maturity in her behavior, has never gone overboard with emotions, and has been prepared for the right time to pamper him.
6. He Is Biased Toward Similarities
There are times when people tend to gravitate toward things that seem familiar. Psychologically, they want to be in their comfort zones and not take risks with unknown aspects of life.
So, if he chose her over you, it could well be because she is a mirror image of his own life. She has likings toward the same kinds of hobbies, possesses a similar background, and carries the same perspective toward life as yours.
Undoubtedly, she makes him feel comfortable being with her, and considers them to be his ideal life partner.
7. He Had the Assumed That You Would Stay Even Without His Commitment
There is a tendency among a lot of people to keep their partners and take them for granted. They do so because of their assumption that no matter what happens, you will not leave them.
If you take a closer look at your conduct, you would surely realize that you had done the same thing with him. Hence, he had chosen someone else after thinking hard about his mental peace and well-being.
8. He Considers Her to Be Less Risky
If a man considers a woman to be less challenging in terms of emotions, mental set-ups, or distance, he will always choose her ahead of you. For him, she is the safer option.
While it does not necessarily mean that you are a risky proposition for him, you carry a high value. Perhaps, right now, he is not ready to invest his time and effort toward keeping you in his life.
9. His Family Members Might Have Liked Her More
Even though it is difficult to admit, the fact of the matter is that parents and siblings play a major role in finally determining someone’s life partner. They always have their say in a man’s decision to marry someone.
Hence, he had no option but to choose her over you. Considering this fact, you might have several thoughts going inside your mind regarding how fair it is, and feel a great sense of anger inside.
You feel that it is not ideal to stick to someone who does not have the spine to stand up for himself.
10. He Feels She Glows Even While Being in a Group
Another reason why he had opted to choose her over you is because he feels she has the natural ability to keep her glow intact because of her unique personality despite being among the friends’ circle.
Even though looks can be deceiving, he had thought of going ahead in the relationship with her and not you. According to him, you are much more reserved and somehow do not attract his attention a lot.
11. He Looks for Instant Satisfaction
There is always a tussle between attaining long-term benefits and gaining instant rewards. He might choose her over you as she gives him instant fun through physical pleasure or something else that gives him ultimate satisfaction in life without any complication.
It becomes tough for him to resist the temptations that she keeps giving him from time to time. Hence, he would always go for her rather than continue sticking to you and make compromises.
12. He Might Have Some Personal Problems
Men who are broken from the inside get swayed toward broken women.
Now, if you happened to be too healthy for him and always kept trying ways to make things better but were not putting up with toxic moments, there is a good enough reason why he might not have wanted to marry you.
People who happen to be broken from the inside generally want to engage themselves in broken relationships.
Therefore, just because he had spent time with you, does not mean you match his wavelength. He would still be attracted to the other person, who has had a heartbreak earlier in her life.
In this article, we have looked into 12 possible reasons to help you understand why he chose her over you. It is true that whatever might be his reason, in your eyes, he would always be a villain.
Still, you have to accept the fact that it is always better to be with someone who is fully committed to you.
Are you interested to know more about ‘Signs That A Man Is Pursuing You’ then click here?
An MBA in Marketing with a certification in Digital Marketing, Subhojit is a part-time investor in the stock market and a full-time freelance content writer. He is passionate about putting his thoughts in words. Having started his career in IT, he quickly shifted focus to work as an SEO Content Writer. His passion for writing has enabled him to attain expertise in writing various content pieces on different niches across verticals. A cricket fanatic. One who does not miss watching matches, especially those involving the Indian Cricket Team, while expressing his after-match thoughts on Facebook. Subhojit loves listening to music, watching movies, hanging out with friends, and exploring different places.