Am I in love?
Are you having a hard time escaping this question? Then you’ve come to the right place.
Let’s just admit it: Love is overwhelming and A LOT more confusing.
You tend to overthink everything… the last encounter… the last Instagram story… or even the last eye contact.
But, don’t worry. You are not alone. I’ve been there too.
Now, if you are still wondering: Is this really love?
Then you are likely to be troubled with questions like: Should I go for it? Is this worth it? Are we just friends? Where are we headed?
Alright! Give it a break.
What a mess you’ve turned yourself into. Let me help you get back in shape.
Keep reading to find out what love experts think of those butterflies.
How Do I know if I am in love? (80 Signs of being in love)
It is complicated, right?
…and why not. All the eye contacts and the giggles are not easy to interpret.
So, given below are a few signs that will finally help you make sense of the tickles in your belly.
1. You are thinking about them ALL THE TIME
Do you find those eyes captivating? How about their smile that makes your heart go pitter-patter?
Oh! And do you think about the last meal that they had… or the last movie that they binged on… and the list goes on.
Welcome to the Lover Club.
When in love, your partner tends to be always on your mind. In fact, research says that we get heaps of dopamine hits when we think about someone we genuinely admire.
So, grab those feel-good hits and keep reading.
2. There’s no one as flawless as your love (in this whole world!).
Love is indeed blind. People in love tend to ignore all the flaws of their partners.
Their weird laugh is adorable. That habit of biting nails while working may feel odd but is also kind of cute. Right?
Even their frosty behavior while being agitated seems fascinating. You are always optimistic about the traits of your beloved. No matter how repulsive those traits might be in the past.
So, there is nothing to worry about if you are suddenly intrigued by the weird habits of your partner.
This is love, amigo.
3. Your mood is riding a roller coaster.
When you are in love with someone, your mood swings are at an all-time high. Sometimes you are overflowing with joy.
Sometimes you are confused about where this relationship is going. It is completely wild in your head.
This uncertainty is killing you. (I have been there. It is awful)
At times you are in a fantasy land with the person you love. But the next moment, you find yourself burning with jealousy seeing them giggling with someone else.
It is a crazy world out there, especially when you are in love.
Welcome to the circle of silent and confused lovers.
4. Your hormones are all over the place.
Every little thing they do churn your insides like a noisy blender. You experience a chill down your spine when their hand accidentally grazes against yours. Even random thoughts about them make you giddy.
You crave their presence. You keep finding excuses to be near them. Every time they touch you, you experience a mental thunderstorm. Your heart flutters when they sit on that empty chair beside you.
They have bewitched your heart, body, and soul.
This desire for them is never-ending. Your feelings are like a song on loop. Keep vibing.
5. They rule your thoughts
They have a monopoly over your mind. They occupy your mind 24*7. Whatever they do seems to leave a lasting impression on you. You pay extra attention to everything they say.
The witty F.R.I.E.N.D.S. sitcom references they make. That dress they like. That fictional character they are currently drooling over. (Mr. Darcy is totally drool-worthy.)
Every memory you have with them keeps replaying in your head. Your thoughts are like a constant slideshow of their memories which also fills your brain with feel-good hormones.
So, get some popcorn and enjoy the show.
6. Everything feels effortless with them.
Not every love story has to be as dramatic and tragic as Romeo and Juliet. In reality, love is simple and peaceful. It is easy-peasy.
The most prevalent sign of love is that you don’t have to put any conscious effort into it… it just flows like a river.
Everything just seems to fall in place. It is as effortless as your Netflix binging sessions.
Things just seem to work for you guys. The universe seems to align itself to bring you both a little closer.
7. You are sure this is not just a phase.
You are sure that your feelings are pretty intense this time. It is not just the way they flip their hair or roll up their sleeves. That just not it. It is way more than that.
Those intense conversations stir your heart. You keep recollecting their heartfelt gestures and can not help but feel loved.
You start feeling that you have finally found someone who understands you like nobody else.
You do not get those heebie-jeebies anymore while thinking about the future.
Sure everything was conventional before, as common as having a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. But with time, things changed. Now you know that this is so much more than just a crush.
You are in love!!
8. They are your cozy escape on a rough day.
After that crazy day at work, all you want to do is rant about it to them. They are the first ones who are privy to your latest workplace gossip.
Long story short, they are your favorite go-to. They don’t just hear, they listen to you and not just for the sake of it… but to invest themselves into it.
They give thoughtful opinions and take note of the details. Even when they have nothing to say, they are still listening… because every word that you say is important for them.
9. Their mood = your mood.
When they are upset, you find yourself incapable of cheering up. You are hell-bent on finding ways to lift their mood. All you want is to see them grin like a Cheshire cat.
A twinkle in their eyes and a smile on their face do magic to your heart. And you do not mind going out of your way to attaining that magic.
You can sense their needs and your willingness to fulfill those needs knows no bounds.
You find yourself overflowing with empathy for them. This means they have dug a place in your heart, deeper than you think.
10. You want to be their go-to
You want more than just being an acquaintance. It is not just the romantic chemistry or the sexual tension you aspire for. You want a heartfelt connection.
So, you don’t hesitate to walk out of your comfort zone and do things for them. Be it volunteering in a campaign or learning a new art.
You are willing to know them as a person. You want to go beyond that realm that is only restricted to romance.
You want your presence in different aspects of their life.
You want to be more than their love interest.
You want to be their best friend, confidante, and their everything.
11. It is always fun with them.
You are having difficulty finding reservations on a busy day. Your uber driver canceled your ride. The tire of your Mustang suddenly went lifeless. Irrespective of these hardships, it is always fun with them.
Their company alone is enough to make your day.
The most prominent indicator of falling in love is the feeling of comfort around them, even when all the other things in your life go wrong.
Ditching that renowned street play to sit home and binge that unfinished episode with them is nothing but love. Pure love.
Umm… Simply, being around them is as much fun as being in a Taylor Swift concert. (Okay! That might be a lie.)
12. Dating apps are now MIA.
When in love, you automatically lose interest in dating others. Things are so smooth with your significant other that you do not care about other potential partners.
Those dating apps on your phone are not active anymore. You do not feel attracted to that former crush anymore.
You are also tired of exploring the “fishes” in the sea. Nothing about dating excites you anymore.
You feel like you have found the one. No wonder! Your dating apps are missing in action.
13. They have your undivided attention.
Well, the fact that they are always on your mind is enough to justify the undivided attention they receive from you.
Recently, that finance podcast and those mental health documentaries have been spamming your phone as it needs immediate attention…. because of late, your partner has all of it.
You are fascinated by everything they do. You listen intently to your partner. You want to miss no detail from that chitter-chatter, no matter what.
If you find yourself always keen to know every aspect of this extraordinary human…. You, my friend, are falling in love, little by little! 😉
14. Conversations with them are never-ending.
You feel comfortable talking to them about anything… absolutely anything.
The conversations are so much fun because you both are curious to know about each other.
You want to know about their family, their dreams, passions, and everything else. Their opinions, suggestions, and thoughts matter to you and vice versa.
The journey of getting to know each other seems never-ending.
…and you are enjoying every bit of it.
Honestly, these long and thoughtful conversations are proof that your soul has found a place to live!
15. You lower your guard with them.
When you are constantly scared of getting hurt, it is not easy to trust someone. You unveil the innermost self only in front of people who you can trust with eyes closed.
So, letting someone into that room with secretive emotions takes a lot of courage.
But not with this person.
If you are not scared of being defenseless and vulnerable in front of your partner, it is nothing but your profound love for them.
You trust them. You feel safe. The safe space created by your partner makes you comfortable enough to share your inner self.
As it’s said, Love gives you solid ground.
16. You enjoy even the boring jobs
Mundane jobs like grocery shopping or running errands are fun with the right person. Even doing laundry can be a romantic date with the right person.
It is all about the company guys, not the place. Trust me.
You must have seen how movies romanticize the idea of a couple cooking together. And let’s just admit it: it feels like that even in real life.
All because you have the (wo)man of your dreams with you!
17. You want to be there for them.
You want to be with them through thick and thin and ensure their safety at all odds. The peace of your partner is your priority.
On days when they want to have a good cry, you want to be the one wiping their tears. You do not want them to go through that rough phase alone… because they have you.
You do not want your bae or bae-to-be going to bed with a sad face. At the end of the day, all you want is to see them smile.
Am I right or AM I RIGHT? 😉
18. You crave their presence.
In most cases, when you’ve spent a long time with someone, your feelings tend to fade. But when you are genuinely in love with someone, it’s just the opposite… your feelings get intense with time.
You want that person around you all the time. No amount of time you spend with them is enough. You always want more.
You find excuses to invite them over and are constantly on the lookout to spend time with them.
Up until now, I am sure you must have used every excuse in the book to invite them. Been there. Done that.
19. Arguments do not stain your canvas of love.
When you have a crush, you are attracted to the ideals you imagined about that person. Reality is quite different.
Many times, people develop feelings for someone without knowing the truth about them. This is the reason crushes don’t last long enough.
But if you continue to like that person even after knowing their less likable habits. It is love.
Love is real. It means loving someone for who they are. Even if they annoy you on days, you still love them the same.
Even after a slew of arguments, you make it through the day happily with that goofball… and find solace in their arms.
20. You are interested in their interests.
Let us say you are not a dog person. Though, this is pretty hard to imagine. I mean, who is not a dog person?
But you recently find yourself wanting to get a dog because your partner is a big-time dog enthusiast.
Then you are deeply in love, my friend.
When in love, you find yourself doing things that interest your partner…. Even when you don’t approve of it. Whether it is adopting a pet or to go skinny-dipping.
21. Your romance is not withering away.
Your love is undeniably intense if it stands the test of time. Your feelings have remained the same over time, preferably intensified. This proves that it is more than just an infatuation.
There is always a big spark at the start of a relationship. But as time goes by, it fades. You do not find people as attractive as they used to be before.
But if you are in love, this will not be the case.
22. Imagining a future with them feels beautiful.
You have already thought about the name of your kids? (Oh boy! Slow down a little)
If you already picture yourself with them in the long term, it is love. The future seems rosy when you imagine it with the person you love.
It’s true that Love gives you hope… and it lifts you up.
If you have already dreamt about walking down the aisle with them. Or you imagine yourself coming home to your better half. Do not worry, it is normal… that is how love is supposed to be.
23. You are done with casual dating and hookups.
When in love, that one person has all of your attention.
But, if you are still checking out that hot girl in the supermarket and gauging your chances with her, it’s not what you think it is… it is just another fling, babe!
If it was love, there’s no way your heart will feel the need to find someone else.. or to reply to that casual friend anymore… or to catch up with those past flings for any possible action.
24. You do not visit local bars to get lucky.
You have lost interest in hookups and casual dating. Love is all you need.
Many people tend to wait before having sex because they want to know their partner better.
Many believe that having sex before knowing someone entirely can change your thinking about them. It might confuse you.
Physical intimacy can bring a lot of emotional turmoil. You might lose out on the heartfelt connection with your partner if you get intimate early.
Hence, waiting might be a sign that you want to explore the emotional realm before diving into the physical one.
25. But your sex drive goes insane around them.
You want them wholeheartedly. It is not something temporary. You have been feeling this intense attraction for a long time now.
If you pine for them regularly, it is a powerful connection. This indicates that you love your partner a lot. If it is true love, you will always be attracted to that person… That never-ending desire for them is evidence enough of your affection for them.
You keep thinking about their touch. Your partner does not even have to put effort into turning you on. Just an intense look is enough to drive you crazy.
Around them, your sexual feelings intensify like Mozart playing a grand piano.
Play that piano, rockstar.
26. You share the same sexual fantasies.
If the same things turn you on then, that’s another green flag, my friend. Possessing the same sexual interest is very important in romantic relationships; it shows sexual compatibility between two people.
Sexual chemistry is a vital factor in maintaining the spark in any relationship. This is why liking the same things can make a relationship long-lasting.
If they are kinky, just how you like it.
Congratulations! You have found your soulmate.
Talk about those roleplays and get those handcuffs ready, just in case. 😉
27. You both have similar notions about love.
Everyone has different interpretations about love… except you and your partner. You both share a similar definition of love.
Still, before you reach any solid conclusion, you should talk openly about it with your partner. Have a heart-to-heart with them. Tell them what you think about love and ask them too.
If your partner has opened up to you about their feelings of love… and you still love them. You are meant for each other.
28. You feel calm around them.
All your worries seem to disappear when you are with the person you love. Now, your temper tantrums do not visit that often. And you do not find yourself getting annoyed that often. Life seems pretty good.
As the experts say: Life is beautiful when you are in love.
You do not find yourself getting irritated by that chatty lady at the supermarket. In fact, you give her a high-five nowadays.
You can feel that love sets you in a good mood. You find yourself smiling all day, so much so that your cheeks hurt. Say cheeeeeeeese!
29. You want to shower all the love that you have.
You just cannot get enough of your loved one. You want to shower your loved one with romantic gestures all day, every day.
Relationships require constant effort, and you are willing to make those efforts for them.
You are not tired of walking miles to get that yogurt your partner loves. You know it will bring a smile to their face…. And that’s all that you want.
Even though the honeymoon phase is now over, you are still excited about that candlelight dinner.
You still get butterflies when you see them in that red outfit. So, you are constantly on the lookout for a red dress for your partner.
You still want to see that face light up when you bring them that chocolate chip ice cream.
These constant romantic gestures are the building blocks of a healthy relationship.
30. Not feeling in the mood does not ebb your connection.
If one of you is not in the mood, it’s perfectly understandable by the other. Any relationship has its fair share of ups and downs. But when those turmoils do not tamper with your connection, you know it is true love.
You are not annoyed when your partner wants to stay in during the weekend. Because you know how your loved one feels, and you are okay with it.
You are so deep-rooted into one another, that you understand all the moods. You are mature enough to let them relish in peace on a rough day.
31. They trigger the heroism in you.
In most relationships, women have caring instincts, while men are protective. So this one’s for all the madly-in-love guys out there –
If you want to be her hero, you love her more than you think you do.
The heroism that she triggers in you represents your desire to protect her and keep her safe. You want to ensure her well-being.
You want her to seek your help in difficult situations and feel this urge to stand between the problem and her.
Honestly, this urge is nothing but your immense love for her. Any disaster has to go through you first before it reaches her. Go ahead! Protect your princess.
32. You observe even their random activities.
Every little thing they do have your attention. Every. Little. Thing.
You remember that Indie record album they like. You notice how their face lights up when Chandler proposes to Monica.
You remember that expression they make when someone orders a pineapple pizza. You know the tunes they hum while doing laundry.
Love is in the little things. All the random things they do make your heart flutter.
Well, it is all in the details, my friend!
33. You will root for them even through hell or high water.
No matter how tough it gets, you want to end up with them.
You are not willing to give up on this relationship. You do not mind making compromises for them.
You are ready to make all efforts to have a future with them. No matter what it takes.
Unlike a few years back, the long-distance does not scare you anymore. You know you will make it through.
In the end, this person is everything you want.
34. You are eager to usher them into your family gatherings.
You cannot wait for your parents to know them. If this is the case, it is more than just a crush. Your feelings for them are A LOT MORE intense.
You feel comfortable inviting them to your space and are eager to know how they would act around your family.
Your family is as close to you as it can get, and it is important that they like your partner. Hence, introducing them to the family is a big deal for you.
Nervous? Same here.
35. Your spark is still the same.
Your relationship has definitely passed the test of time if your spark is still the same.
If you still blush the same way you did when you saw them for the first time, your love has reached the soul. If those butterflies have not ebbed away, you are so much more in love than you think.
For most people, things get stale with time. Only true love stands fresh with time passing by.
36. You understand their thoughts and perspective.
You embrace their perspective and are interested in their opinions. Unlike others, their thoughts are not deal-breakers. In fact, they bring a different perspective to the table, and you appreciate it.
Even if their opinion counters yours, you are interested in the reasoning behind it. You want to know how your partner thinks. You like understanding the thought process of your partner.
They are the reason you are also able to see things in a different light.
37. You are becoming a better person.
Love has its own way to make you a better person. So, if you are in love, you may find yourself exploring different sides of yourself, with each passing day.
Love makes you generous, compassionate, kind and the list is never-ending.
Love is a catalyst for growth. And if that is the kind of love you are in, moments of prosperity will surround you like confetti in a pompous fair.
Remember, Couples who grow together always stay together.
38. You do not downplay your true self.
You do not mind speaking your mind in front of them.
There is no need to fake your opinions. You know your partner will understand your perspective and also correct you in situations when you are wrong.
So, you talk to them with absolutely NO FILTERS. Your thoughts are raw, and there is no fear of being judged. Life seems meaningful with them.
There are fewer arguments and more healthy discussions. The intellectual points they make against your opinion makes you fall in love with them even more.
They counter with logic and not with drama.
39. You are not insecure about getting dumped.
So, you are telling me that you are not insecure anymore? That you never had to fake yourself in front of them? Yes!
I am so happy for you…. coz hey, you’ve finally found your soulmate!
When in love, you don’t even feel like showing your dark side. This is because you are not afraid of getting dumped. You feel safe.
You feel that the other person loves you as much as you love them.
40. You do not pine for that ex.
You seem to have forgotten your ex who you stalked for endless nights, trying everything in your way might impress them.
You are now only bothered about this person… and everything about them.
Whether it is about planning your next date with them or maybe helping them complete some assignments…
It is always about them.
That ex is nowhere to be seen.
41. You are not looking for “options” anymore.
Do you feel like you have found the one meant for you? Have you thought about the future with them already?
Ummm… who you’re fooling babe, it is OBVIOUSLY love!
Love makes you feel that there’s no one better than this beautiful person standing right beside you.
And who goes around looking for options when you already have the best reserved for you!
42. You’re ALWAYS searching for them
You are constantly searching for them everywhere, aren’t you? While walking on the road… while binging on a romantic show… or even while making lunch on a regular working day.
Do you also take the longer route to home just so you can go by their house in the hope of seeing them on the balcony?
Are they the only reason you are going to that party? Ha-ha, I get you, buddy.
You keep admiring them from a distance, with so much love, that even the person next to you feels it.
Your eyes gleam at the sight of them. You love everything that they do! Every dance move that they do makes your heart flutter, and then that eye contact makes you fall so deeply in love.
43. You cannot keep your hands off them.
You have a strong desire to be near your loved ones and touch them. Be it holding hands while walking or playing with their fingers while your significant other is talking to you – You want to feel their touch, ALL THE TIME!
The rush is so high that even their voice turns you on (Come on, don’t lie now!) 😉
Is it the smell of the cologne that drives you crazy, making you want them more? You crave long intimate hugs and those random kisses or those cuddles after sex?
You always feel that you just cannot get enough of them.
44. They have all the things you’ve imagined in your partner
Everything about them feels good to you. You feel like this is all I’ve ever wanted in a soulmate.
Their habits. Their way of talking. Their personality. Their romantic ideals. Their goals. Their behavior. Everything about them seems to be perfect.
You feel like they are the one for you and that no one can be as perfect for you as they are. They fit perfectly in the image of the dream boy/girl you have created in your brain.
45. You want to do everything with them by your side
Whenever you think about your future, you always picture it with that person.
They have become a crucial part of your life, and you want them in it forever.
You have imagined it all in your head. From teens to adults to married couples to even growing into a family, you have planned it all.
…and you cannot wait to spend your life with them.
46. You feel like it was already written in the cards.
You feel that you two were meant for each other. That there is not anyone in this whole world more suitable for you.
You both are destined to be together. Your partner completes you.
It is like it was all a part of a plan, or as we say – it was written in the stars.
You dismiss the love horoscope if it says anything negative. But if it’s positive, it makes you feel giddy!
47. You did not see this coming.
You never thought that you would fall so madly in love with someone… but you fell even harder. Everything about them makes you more and more in love with them every day.
You never imagined it to be so wonderful being in love with them, but it just keeps getting better.
The caring nature they possess. The romantic gestures they make.
From giving sweet nicknames to each other to those long cute paragraphs – you never saw any of this coming!
48. They brighten your mood instantly.
Even on your worst of days, when you have so many problems lurking in your mind, a single text from them can instantly brighten your mood.
Listening to their sweet voice over a phone call, or seeing their face when you meet, or a long hug after a long day, they can instantly make you smile.
When you meet them, you forget all your problems for some time. They fill you with so much positive energy… and love
You know that if your partner is with you, it will all be Okay!
49. Any possibility of losing them makes your heart sink.
Your heart sinks on even the thought that you might lose them. You feel weak. You feel dismayed.
The idea of living life without them makes your eyes teary. You just feel incomplete without them.
They have become such a vital part of your life that your heart sinks even at the thought of losing them. You do anything and everything to prevent losing them.
So, hold your partner tight and never let them go.
50. You feel happy from within.
You feel peace. Everything with your partner feels so natural. You can feel your inner self smiling like a fool.
Even arguments with them leave you thoughtful instead of exhausted. You always find your way back to each other, no matter what.
Let’s just say it: nothing can go wrong when you are with the person you love.
51. They make you feel all-important.
You have started to feel – Yes, I am important to someone.
Someone is out there who cares about you, who loves you so much and can never afford to lose you. You feel that you are a priority and not just an option.
You don’t feel like the only one making the efforts, they do it too. They make you feel loved, valued…. And most importantly, respected.
52. You keep finding excuses to look at them.
Whether it is by leaving your notebook on purpose so you can meet again after class or enrolling yourself to the same guitar class as there’s – You never seem to get enough of your loved one.
You ask your love interest to teach you a particular topic even when you know it by heart just so you can spend some time with them.
You want to take a longer route if there is even the slightest possibility that you might see them on the way. Your heart blooms like a happy 4-year-old kid just at the sight of them.
53. You are clumsy and out of focus.
When in love, you do every activity half-heartedly. The only thing you do with all your heart is think about them.
Love makes us all silly and stupid, at least for a while. But if you find yourself out of control around your love interest, then my friend, you’ve invited a mess for yourself (Don’t worry, this mess is as pretty as it can get!)
You find yourself making stupid mistakes. You put salt instead of sugar in your tea. Stumbling on the stairs? Getting a hand burn while using the microwave?
Well, if I may say: Dazed focus is a side effect of the pills of love.
54. You want them to be happy.
It is pretty obvious, we all want our loved ones to be happy. Their happiness is our priority.
If this happiness is even with someone else, you will still welcome it with open arms. True love is wanting your loved one to be happy, even if it is meant to be with someone else.
Love is selfless. The sacrifices you make for them are divine-like. Trust me!
55. You have been impatient recently.
Being in love means your mind is constantly exploring the vista of love. This leaves you with little or no time for the other activities in your life.
Sometimes you find it difficult to save energy for the other things in life. Love takes a lot of energy if it is unrequited.
Constant overthinking about your unrequited love drains your energy. This might make you short-tempered. You cannot shake off the chaos in your head and get easily irritated.
Restricting your emotions also leads to a bad mood. Pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you. Don’t restrict those butterflies. Let them fly.
56. No hardships seem unsolvable with them.
Two heads are better than one!!
You feel like you can go through all kinds of rough days if in the end, you are going home to the person you love. Just the sight of their smile relieves you from all the stress.
Looking at them fills you with Dopamine hits, the feel-good hormones. So, it is clear that everything feels possible with them. Love makes you optimistic.
You feel like you can conquer the world with them. In males, the spike in testosterone levels makes them feel invincible like The Hulk. Everything is possible with the person you love.
57. You are scared of driving them away.
The good things in life are supposed to be valued and cherished. You are definitely in love with that person if you worry about losing what you both have.
During arguments, you control yourself from speaking things in the spur of the moment. You do not want to say anything that you might regret later.
Like it’s said, you don’t want to hurt the person you love.
You are careful with your temper. And your respect for your partner prevents you from losing control in the heat of the moment.
58. You are super possessive about them
Too much possessive behavior is toxic. But, sometimes, you can’t help but feel jealous of that romantic love opponent.
It burns your hearts when your love interest finds someone funnier than us. Chandler Bing is the only exception! 😉
You try your best to be close to your partner, so much so that all the others eyeing on them already know.
59. You expect them to prioritize you.
You do not bother to converse with someone else when you are around your partner. And you expect the same from them.
A hint of jealousy and a pinch of possessive behavior is alright. It depicts that your partner means a lot to you.
But, do not forget to hold your horses. You don’t want to end up on a break like Mr. Ross Geller.
60. What is their love language?
Love is different for different people. We also have different ways of expressing love… and different ways of being in love.
Similarly, we also have different love languages.
Love language includes both expression and reception of love. You need to understand how your partner demonstrates love. And you also need to know how your partner wants that love to be reciprocated.
If you are curious about knowing what would make your partner blush, you are deeply in love. You need to know their expectations from you… and vice versa.
Come on! Not all of us can write romantic poems like Allan Poe.
61. You recognize their smell.
Recognizing the scent of your partner is another indicator of being in love.
You are immensely attracted to your partner if you remember their body smell.
You find yourself snuggling into their sweatshirt or dancing with the tee they wore last night. This means their pheromones have successfully hijacked your brain.
Perfumes are just second-rate aroma-filled solutions. Pheromone is the real love potion.
62. You want to caress them during that power nap.
They look so cuddly while sleeping. Right? You feel like wrapping them in your arms and caressing them.
When in love, your desire to care for your partner intensifies. You want to take care of them. Provide for them. Cuddle them. And whatnot.
They look so peaceful and you feel so happy looking at your partner. These are the signs that they are more than just a crush for you.
Oh god! You are really in love.
63. You love being their cheerleader.
You want the person you love to be on top of the world. You want to encourage them to reach new heights.
You are not there just for the good stuff. You want to be there for your partner on rainy days too.
You want your partner to tell you everything. Right from that traumatic relationship, phobia of heights, or their childhood fears. You want to listen to them all.
You want to motivate your partner to achieve more in life and conquer their fears. And when your partner finally tastes victory, you get super excited about their triumphs.
Well, you’re not just their cheerleader, you’re also their top fan.. who’s madly in love.
64. You find petty reasons to invite them over.
You have used every excuse in the book to invite your partner over. While inviting them to your dog’s birthday, you realized that you’ve exhausted the entire list of reasons.
If you keep finding ways to be near your love interest you have developed intense feelings for them. Your feelings might be more profound than you think.
Being around your partner makes you happy, while their departure makes your heart sink. This is enough to indicate your intense love for them.
But, do not use your dog’s birthday as an excuse again.
65. You are excited about their ambitions.
You get excited when your partner talks about their ambitions… and why not, the gleaming eyes are worth it.
You admire the enthusiasm of your partner and are amazed by their willingness to face the challenges that block their way. The perseverance and determination of your partner have earned your respect.
You respect your partner for their devotion towards their dreams and you just can’t wait for them to achieve all of them… and even more
66. You know they will not ghost you.
You do not get fidgety when your partner does not reply back to your text for two days in a row. You remain calm and wait for the reply patiently
People analyze the time their crush takes to reply, to find out how long they should wait before texting them back. But this will not be the case if you’re in love.
When in love, people feel secure about their love interest. You know they’ll text back. And you know they will not ghost you. You have faith in your bond.
Ah! Relationship goals.
67. Unexpected meetings with your ex do not stir your emotions anymore.
Had an unexpected meeting with your ex at the mall?
If this incident was last year, you would have cried yourself to sleep that night.
Or you must have gobbled up that tub of chocolate chip ice cream.
But now you are just not bothered. You don’t think of that ex anymore.
You used to feel that your ex has some witch magic that pushes you down the rabbit hole of flashbacks every time you try to move on.
You might also have the habit of stalking your ex on social media but not anymore.
But, now you are focused on living these beautiful moments with your partner instead of making fun of your ex.
68. You can embrace your weird self in front of them.
You are comfortable with slurping those noodles loudly. You do not mind talking about that childhood stuff-toy you still obsess over… and do all the weird things a hundred times over.
This is because you know they won’t judge you and love you for who you are.
You do not want to fake your personality to impress them. So, slurp that ramen with all your heart. *Slurp slurp.
69. Everything they love has your attention now.
You start to develop an interest in almost everything that your partner likes. Are they a fan of Manchester United? Yep! You start following the club too.
Do they like guys in spectacles? Yes! You start to wear one too.
Do they love reading books? Ya! You ask them for their favorite one and start reading it too.
You start to develop an interest in whatever they do, whatever they like.
You would go miles to buy tickets for their favorite movie and watch it with them, even if you have no idea what this movie is about.
You will listen to their favorite playlist on loop and then sing those songs for them.
Well, my dear, I don’t blame you. Love has its own ways to cast its spell on you. 😉
70. You are not a call person for anyone except them.
Are you one of those people who just can’t talk long hours on call? Your friends will call you multiple times, and you still won’t pick.
But it’s not the same with this person. Is it?
One call from them, and your heart skips a beat. You haven’t had more than 5-minute conversations with anyone… but with them, you can go on for hours.
You’d be excitedly replying to their talks and even contribute to the conversation.
Talking to your partner fills you with great energy. You feel lively, and your mood brightens almost immediately.
*thinking about your last month’s phone bill.
71. They know all your rambly stories.
You tell them everything. By everything, I mean EVERYTHING.
Whatever happens in your day, you’d describe it like you have it memorized.
You get so excited while narrating your stories that you keep going for hours.
On top of that, you know they will listen to your stories with so much zest and won’t ever judge you for that.
Long story short, they are your human version of a personal diary.
72. Their Instagram profile is your go-to place now.
When you’re in love, you want to know everything about them… favorite sport, favorite show… even their pet’s name.
Eventually, every dawn starts with a quick peek-a-boo by a flustered heart wishing for updates. A restless mind is trying to find ways to initiate a conversation with them. And an ever-growing need to be around them.
So while struggling through different ways, you finally find solace on their social media page.
With every passing day, the affection keeps multiplying and their Instagram profile becomes a part of your morning ritual.
73. You talk about them to your friends.
Every topic around the table has to be about them.
Do you like black coffee? (Oh! they do too.)
There’s an urge to talk about the little things they do to you. Like the way they ask you to be safe while walking beside you on the left side of the lane.
How they wait for you until you are done and check up on you every once in a while.
How all the little things remind you of them these days, how falling in love with them makes you fall in love with yourself, and how they make you feel butterflies all over again.
74. They can make you do things you wouldn’t have done otherwise.
You are ready to walk on fire for them… let alone trying a plate of sushi.
Suddenly your vinegar allergy bids adieu, and you fall in love with seafood. Rice starts to seem delicious, and you are all in for anything.
Love can make you choose them above yourselves. All your partner’s likes and dislikes become your likes and dislikes.
Their favorite food, their go-to place, and their fixed order are at your fingertips. You embrace their flaws, their traits, and everything. You are ready for new experiences but only with them by your side.
A: Hey! Do you like Sushi? (B: No, I don’t, but anything for you!)
B: Of course I do! Oh, you too. What a coincidence! (*Blushes in victory)
75. You already have a huge to-do list with them.
You draft a bucket list, but this time it is different. It’s edited multiple times because it is not just for you.
There are things you are scared of doing and things that you never dreamt of. There are adventures you want to go on with them, and then there are a few movies you want to see with them.
It starts off with taking them to a place you are fond of. And ends with taking them to the place you run to when you feel troubled.
It’s a binder. A once in a lifetime, neatly bound, well-planned diary that holds your heart for ransom. That ransom is called love.
76. It is either turbo speed or super slow-moving.
It is either so slow that your heart aches for more or so fast that you are caught unaware. It is either 100 things in a second or not even half in hours.
Love demands patience and time. It craves attention and determination. Sometimes, Love exposes itself in front of you in an instant.
But, sometimes, it makes you walk on shattered glass pieces, a million obstacles, and a hundred more thorns disguised as roses.
Sometimes it is as simple as the English Alphabet, and sometimes it is as puzzling as a never-ending maze. Either get stuck in it or find your way out to it.
77. You display more affection.
The adrenaline rush is super high, and your heart is beating twice as fast. The blood gushes into your ears, and you find yourself blushing every time you sense them around you.
Their slightest touch sends you shivers, and eye contact makes you want to scream your lungs out. Their presence lifts up your mood. Your eyes search for them in every crowd.
You start showing off your weaknesses because you know they will make no judgments. It pushes you to be vocal about how much you admire them, so you try finding ways to appreciate them.
They get stacked up with gifts and letters, a little more on random days just because your heart wants to show them just how much they mean to you.
78. Your screen time stats are at an all-time high.
Either it’s an endless chase for the right meme or a lengthy one-hour group discussion to find excuses for initiating conversation.
Your screen time doesn’t matter to you anymore because you are not straining your eyes on unwanted things… it’s them!
Love can make you go crazy. So, you don’t seem to care if it takes five hours or an entire day, your heart still craves to be with them.
So, our phones can keep threatening us with pop-up messages to take a break, but we would still be fiddling with: should I send “Ok” or “Okay” works just fine?
79. That ear-to-ear smile is a familiar sight now.
Do you also feel that you smile a lot nowadays? More importantly, have you noticed how bright your smile is nowadays?
Your face lights up with such a wide smile. You see your partner, and there arrives that smile in an instant.
Your partner starts talking about some stuff that happened today… you are looking at them and smiling ear-to-ear seeing their cute, lovely face.
Your face lights up with a smile even when someone tells the name of your partner. You smile so much that sometimes, even your cheeks hurt. You feel so lucky to have them in your life.
*God bless those cheeks.
80. Your daydreams are never-ending.
The moment they walk in through that glass door and crash their eyes on you, you are sent to a faraway land where it’s just you and them.
You are there with your favorite flowers spread out on the ground, waiting to be walked on by you while you both get lost in each other’s presence.
Now, what, trying to accept if all of that is true? Snap out of that dream, Dear.
Sometimes you wander off to a place that’s known to only both of you. Sometimes it is what life would have been if they had not been with you.
It’s a series of what-ifs and daydreams where you accept the fact that you’re lucky. Lucky enough to have it come find you while others are still playing hide and seek, trying out ways to forego the gloom.
Bonus: They are your happily-ever-after.
Love’s not a one-time process. It is a vital aspect of life where we aren’t mere spectators but the entire plot.
Now, you start accepting fairy tales and stop getting anxious over rough endings. You have acknowledged that the love that you carry for them in your heart makes you feel gratified.
You are ready to fight battles to be with them… and want to stand up for them until the end of time.
Love makes us realize how even if forever doesn’t exist in reality, we would love to believe that it does. It makes us want to imagine the happily-ever-after that might not be smooth but will still be fun.
Love makes us want to look forward despite the challenges and hardships. It helps us sustain.
For what’s a world without life in it, and what’s a life without love in it?
Now my friend, if you nodded your head for even half of the signs mentioned above: you’re in trouble!
You may be thinking: These signs are all in the air, where’s the proof?
Don’t worry, I have that too. Just keep reading.
10 Scientifically Proven Signs you are in Love!
Science and Love… doesn’t fit, right? Wrong.
Science also says “Love is a thing. A REAL THING!”
In fact, scientists have pinpointed the precise definition of falling in love.
Researchers discovered that the brain of someone in love differs significantly from that of someone experiencing lust. Or from that of someone in a long-term committed relationship.
The ‘In Love’ phase of the brain is a distinct and well-defined period, according to research led by Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University and one of the foremost authorities on the neurological foundation of love.
There are obvious signals that you are in it, BACKED by SCIENCE.
1. You think your beloved is one-of-a-kind
Well, even Science believes love makes you incapable of feeling romantic passion for anyone else! 😉
According to experts, elevated levels of Central dopamine result in a single-minded thought process.
Central dopamine is a chemical in your brain that impacts the focus and attention of the brain. It is the single-mindedness that gives rise to feelings of passionate love for someone.
You start to perceive your beloved as a unique person and it becomes almost impossible for you to feel the same for any other person around you.
2. Your brain is only focused on the “one”
If you are in love, you will focus only on the positive aspects of your beloved’s personality…. And conveniently overlook all the negative ones.
Everything around you tends to remind you of your beloved and you keep daydreaming about them. This focused attention on your beloved is also due to the elevated levels of Central dopamine in your brain.
3. The imbalanced state of mind is real!
“I am madly in love!” You must have heard such sentences often. Well, not everyone becomes mad in love. But yes, a person in love definitely experiences some psychological and emotional imbalance.
Don’t hit me for saying this, but: It would be hilarious for you to know that the mood swings and behavioral changes observed in true lovers is similar to the behavior of drug addicts!
In fact, if lovers come across the picture of the beloved, certain areas of their brain light up actively.
It is similar to what happens when a drug addict takes a hit. Again, you are going to hate me when I say this but some experts agree that being in love parallels some sort of addictive feeling.
Some common behavioral patterns observed in a person in love are sleeplessness, racing heart, shivering, breathing heavily, euphoria, or exhilaration.
And of course, the distress that you feel when the relationship goes through a setback can’t be explained.
4. Adversities may intensify attraction
When an individual is exposed to some adverse situations in their life and rewards are delayed, Central dopamine in your brain becomes more productive.
Thus, one is going to feel intensely attracted to a person who supports them during the rough phases.
5. The obsessive behavior is psychological
Decreased levels of Central serotonin in the brain causes increased obsession in humans. This leads to an intrusive thinking pattern where the lovers keep musing for their object of love.
To treat this obsessiveness, an individual is given serotonin-reuptake inhibitors.
Fisher and her team studied the brains of one-sided lovers with unrequited love stories. The lovers were shown pictures of their beloved.
They observed several activated areas in the brain with the help of fMRI, including the cingulate gyrus which plays a dominant role in cocaine cravings. This explains why rejected lovers show obsessive behavior.
6. The I-feel-your-pain is NOT drama
If you are in love, you feel the pain of your beloved like it’s your own and are ready to sacrifice anything for their happiness.
You also tend to change your priorities, daily habits… sometimes even your choices.
Well, so let me tell you, even your brain is backing you on this! 😉
7. You remember everything about them, EVERYTHING
If you are in love, small things that remind you of your beloved are going to catch your attention sharply.
You might end up daydreaming about the precious moments that both of you’ve spent together. This results from a rise in central norepinephrine.
It is a chemical related to enhanced memory in the existence of a new stimulus.
8. You are willing to change for your beloved
Opposites attract, for real. (read: “brain-chemical” opposites!)
Fisher observed that testosterone dominant personalities (the competitive, emotionally-balanced, and analytical types) were attracted towards Estrogen or Oxytocin dominant personalities (the empathetic, detail-oriented, nurturing, and trusting types).
And more so, these couples were all willing to reorder priorities for each other.
9. You want them all to yourself
Jealousy, obsessiveness, possessiveness, and fear of separation or rejection lead to the emotional dependency of lovers on their beloved.
A person in love tries to exercise complete control over their beloved. But their emotions are not limited to lusty behaviors; the physical needs are accompanied by strong emotional attachment as well.
Lovers feel extremely jealous when they suspect their partners are flirting with other people. They don’t allow their beloved to have sexual relationships with any other partner. They expect complete loyalty.
The scientific advantage of such possessiveness ensures that the lover is going to keep their beloved secured from other suitors.
In this process, they are going to have an uninterrupted courtship and complete conception.
10. Love is another source of survival for you
Lovers daydream about an everlasting bond and a happily-ever-after with their beloved.
A person in love is going to feel extreme joy when they think about times spent with them or watch their beloved’s face.
The feeling is somewhat similar to what a hungry person feels after watching food. or a thirsty person feels after seeing water. So romantic love parallels feelings of survival.
Some scientists find romantic love to be a part of human reproductive strategy. The bonding helps people pair up with their partners and co-exist with mutual agreement.
All that said and done.
Let’s now find out…
What does it feel like to be in love?
When you look at any rom-com, you feel it’s so easy to determine whether you’re in love or not. The racing heartbeat, the sweating of your palms, running out of words to say.
But life isn’t like the movies. Sure, these are some of the symptoms associated with love. But there is more than that.
When you’re in love, you can’t stop thinking about your partner. You are unable to find any flaws in them. Your partner just seems perfect… straight out of the dream world.
You talk about them every time and can feel so much adrenaline in your body. Your spirits are lifted, and you feel excited even about your day-to-day conversations.
Chances are, you might even lose sleep because of high levels of dopamine in your body. That is falling in love.
It might also be possible that your love isn’t returned. If that’s the case, you should accept it and work on fixing your emotions.
A relationship can work only if the two individuals are equally invested in that relationship. A relationship needs a mutual desire to stay with each other.
It might also happen that you lose the spark after certain months, and that’s okay too! It might be time you start putting effort into your relationship to keep things exciting.
Whether it is planning a trip or trying out new things in the bedroom. It becomes essential that you show the other person how much you love them.
Lastly, the feeling of love alone isn’t enough for a stable relationship. You must have mutual respect, good communication, and a strong understanding. These attributes will help in building a long-lasting relationship from just an infatuation.
This will clear all your doubts.
Am I in Love Quiz
Are you also confused if this is just a crush or something serious? Is this intense infatuation stopping you from knowing your precise feelings?
The essence of your feelings might get lost in those butterflies. You might feel perplexed.
You do not know whether this is just a phase. Or you are falling for your crush.
This dilemma has created chaos in your life. You might want to shake it off your head.
Here is a simple way to determine your true feelings for your crush. Take this quiz and find out what you are exactly feeling.
1. Do you want the crush situation to develop into something more serious?
- No, I do not think I am ready for serious commitments.
- I already said those three words in my head.
2. What will be your reaction if your crush asks you out?
- I already have a place in mind.
- Dumbfounded. Am I dreaming?! Pinch me.
3. How do you react when you are around your crush?
- It is no big deal.
- Forget the butterflies. I feel a whole damn zoo in my stomach.
4. When was the last time when your crush popped in your head?
- That Physics lecture they attended last week.
- Last minute; they are always on my mind.
5. Is there anything similar between you and your crush?
- Nah! They have a different choice.
- Yes! We can literally talk 24×7.
6. Do you think you would be able to feel the same for someone else?
- Ya! That blonde friend they have is cute too.
- No, I think we are destined to be together.
7. Do you have jokes which only you and they can understand?
- We do not talk that much.
- Our insider jokes send us into fits of laughter.
8. Do you and your crush talk a lot?
- Just small talk at those frat parties.
- Constantly over text and IRL too.
9. Do you talk about your crush with your friends?
- My friends are tired of constantly hearing me talk about them.
10. Have you and your crush ever hung out alone?
- No, we hang out mainly with our other friends.
- Yes, we went for a hike in the mountains, only the two of us.
11. How do you feel about your crush?
- I get butterflies seeing them in that red dress.
- Every time they talk about their love for stars, I fall deeply.
12. How do you feel about the progression of your relationship since you met?
- We text a little, meet at social gatherings but not alone.
- We were good friends but, I am starting to feel for them
13. Have you thought of introducing your crush to your mom?
- No, maybe later.
- Already did! They get along well.
14. Phone vibrates… Message from Crush. How do you react?
- Wait for a while, so they do not think of you as desperate.
- Your cheeks hurt while you reply back with a sweet message.
15. How does your crush behave with you?
- We flirt a little on days they look hot.
- They are caring and sweet.
16. Why them, and not anyone else?
- Damn that body! And their smile steals your heart.
- You two have a lot in common. Time spent with them is always fun.
17. Have you ever felt that it will not be as beautiful as it does in your head?
- Yes, sometimes.
- Never. Cannot wait for them to be mine.
18. How would you describe them?
- They are friendly and flirty.
- They are one in a million.
19. What is your favorite memory with them?
- Prom! They were looking super hot.
- Hard to pick one. Every outing is fun with them.
20. How do you respond if they do not come to school?
- It is a monotonous day.
- You check upon them. You ask them if they are okay.
21. Would it be okay to continue long-distance with them?
- No, I do not think I can handle it.
- Yes, I would want our relationship to continue.
22. What is the best thing about them?
- That perfect smile. And that sharp jaw-line.
- They never fail to make you laugh.
23. What is the opinion of your friends about the whole crush situation?
- They think you should not rush into anything.
- They believe we are already dating.
24. Do you notice every little thing they do?
- Umm. Not really. They are in a different class.
- Yes, biting that pen or that hair flip. You notice everything.
25. How was your first encounter with your crush?
- They were the head-turners of the room.
- We bonded over our love for dogs.
26. Are you guys able to have hard conversations?
- No, we mostly avoid them. It is exhausting.
- Yes! We believe comfort is built by uncomfortable discussions.
27. What would you want for Valentines’ Day?
- A present from your crush in your locker.
- You want your love interest to plan something, just for the two of you.
If you mostly answered A
This is just a phase, Honey. You are more in love with the perfect idea of that person you have created in your mind.
Do not rush things. Take your time and get to know them.
When you develop a slight crush on someone, their presence excites you. Your love interest might be hanging out with you, but you don’t know them that well.
It is advised to take it one step at a time. First, let the friendship grow. Good things take time.
Do not stress over losing your crush. Having your crush as a good friend is still better than having them as an ex.
And, who knows, you might become more than friends when the time is right.
If you mostly answered B
YOU. ARE. IN. LOVE. Yes! It is love. Your feelings are intense. It is not just some cute senior in the college band kind of crush. It is way more than that.
You trust them. Both of you have a beautiful connection.
You have finally found someone you can open your heart to.
They are the person you want to spend your life with. Both of you value each other. You share the same interests.
You want to be with them through thick and thin. Even if you think it is not a right for a relationship.
Do not worry, you are on the right track. The bond you share with them is a building block for long-lasting love.
Now that you are fully convinced that you are in love… let me tell you that sometimes it happens that you may feel like you are in love but in reality, you’re just in love with your partner.
Let’s find out more about it.
6 Signs of Loving a partner (but not being in Love)?
A long-term relationship witnesses numerous ups and downs. After all these years, your feelings for your partner might change.
You might not feel in love with your partner, but you might still love them. Those butterflies might be missing, but that care and affection for your partner are still intact.
Here are a few signs to tell you how it feels to love a partner while not necessarily being in love with them.
1. Their affection is your safe space.
You might have fallen for your partner for reasons like humor, intelligence, good looks, and whatnot. But you are still with them because of their never-ending affection for you.
You feel calm and comfortable around them. You are also not scared of displaying your weaknesses because you know, no matter what – they will love you just the same.
All the little gestures your partner makes to express love have your heart. They make you feel valued and loved. You are not stressed about impressing them.
Long gone are the days of trying to make a good impression. Now, you know that your partner loves you for the person you are. And nothing will ever change that.
2. Your opinions are unfiltered.
When in love, few people tend to get aggressive when their opinions are not in sync with their partner. A different school of thought might irritate them.
But long-term relationships are devoid of this behavior. Being in love teaches you to value the opinion of your partner and understand the reasoning behind it.
Your partner puts themselves in your shoes and tries to understand why you think this way. They are filled with empathy and compassion for you.
Disagreements are no big deal in your relationship and you both talk through those disagreements easily.
This sense of understanding is so rare that you don’t want to lose this even when you have fallen out of love. You absolutely cherish this aspect of your relationship.
3. You love them even with their flaws.
Nobody is perfect, and everyone has a few flaws, including you. You admire the exemplary traits of your partner. And, you have also grown accustomed to the less desirable aspects of their personality.
That way your partner occupies the entire bed while in sleep might seem endearing in the honeymoon phase, but now it’s annoying.
Remember, when you love someone, you love them with all their flaws. You accept your partner as they are and cherish all aspects of their personality.
You love your partner irrespective of those habits and when you don’t, you are comfortable enough to talk it out.
4. The enthusiasm for intimacy is declining.
That phase where you and your partner could not keep your hands off each other has long passed. There used to be tremendous sexual tension between both of you.
You probably had sex in all corners of the house. But as you spend more and more time together, the frequency of your intimacy has significantly diminished.
When you go to sleep without any romantic conversation with your partner, you feel like something is missing. Your heartaches and you feel like this relationship is doomed to end. Later, you realize that this is normal.
After the hectic workdays, you start prioritizing routine and discipline above wild sex. Now, you have sex only when you both are comfortable sleeping in the next day.
Honestly, no-sex days will not be a big deal if those cuddles are as good as the play.
5. The relationship requires more effort
During the initial stages of a relationship, everything seems effortless.
People tend to be deep in love which prevents them from realizing the effort they are putting into the relationship. But this flawless connection is not for eternity.
Eventually, the struggles of everyday life make you prioritize your partner a little less. This further gets worse with added responsibilities and work pressure. It gets difficult to spend time together.
But none of this stops you from trying to make it up to your partner. After all, that’s what love is all about – you don’t give up on your partner, no matter what.
6. You have a concrete connection
You obviously feel deeply connected to your partner and that’s the reason why you’ve been in this long-term relationship.
You know everything about your partner. You have their thoughts, opinions, preferences, and values by heart.
Their friends contact you before deciding on their birthday gift.
Your partner also knows you the same. They can sense your mood and even complete your sentences.
You share everything with your partner. They are the first person to know about all your achievements or even failures.
They are your cozy escape after that crazy day at the office. When you are with them, you feel like you can conquer the whole world.
…and now if you think you’re not in Love AT ALL. These signs can help you
20 Signs of Not being in Love
If falling in love can take you by surprise, then so can the possibilities of not being in love.
Sometimes, it can be hard to admit that you are not in love with this person you desperately long for. You are attracted to a few aspects of their personality or their looks. But you do not love all of them.
Or, you might have loved them with all your heart. But it is no longer the same. There might be denial about this in your mind, but the repulsion in your body says it all.
One more reason for rejecting the thought of not being in love can be your fear of being alone.
Here are a few signs to ascertain if you have really fallen out of love or it is just a phase.
1. You downplay your true self in front of your love interest.
Faking your emotions is a usual thing for you now.
You try to be more polite so that they do not get repelled by you. You go out of your way to do stuff you never thought you would do. You even try to hide your negative traits with all your might.
If this sounds like you, let me tell you that it will not take you anywhere. Eventually, your mask will drop, and you both will become frustrated with each other.
This is not how love is supposed to be.
2. There is too much dependency.
You are dependent on your partner FOR EVERYTHING.
You don’t know what you would do without them and so you just keep hanging. Since they are your shoulder to cry on, the hand to hold on, and the arms to find peace in – you feel that you can’t go anywhere without them.
It might also be the case that they are too dependent on you. In that case, you may feel that if you leave them, their life will get off-course.
And even if you do not love them, you do not want to leave them in a miserable condition. You do not want to invite trouble for your partner, because then you will feel guilty for it.
3. You do not feel the need to check up on your partner.
You don’t feel anything even if you don’t hear from them for hours at once.
You don’t care if they haven’t responded in a while, nor do you feel worried. You don’t even try other ways to check upon them or make an effort to know why they haven’t returned any of your calls.
Instead, you just go about your life as if nothing has happened.
If that is the case, they are not as important to you as you think. You are not in love with them.
4. You gauge every word before speaking.
You are afraid of talking your heart out in front of them. Their judgemental behavior annoyed you in the past and now you fear being judged.
You might not trust them enough to understand you. You hide things from them and also feel hesitation in sharing your opinions.
You have the fear that going against their opinion might lead to an argument, and you might lose them. This fear prevents you from having a heart-to-heart with your partner.
5. The three words of love don’t come from the heart.
The three words of love don’t come naturally to you. You feel hesitant saying I Love You to them. It does not come out of love but from pressure.
You might not even say I Love You first, ever. But when they utter these words, you may feel forced to reciprocate.
When you are really in love with someone, you do not think twice before saying I Love You. And if that is not the case with you, my friend, it may be possible that you are not in love.
6. Dating apps are having a good time on your phone.
Even though you are in a relationship, all the dating apps are on the top of your screen.
You may sometimes see the apps and think of uninstalling them, and at the last moment, decide against it.
You may be feeling that you still have chances to find someone better. Or maybe you are feeling that you might need those dating apps again soon.
Well, you might not be feeling the same energy as one feels when they are profoundly in love.
7. You don’t think about them so often.
You rarely think about your partner. You can go about your entire day without feeling the need to call them.
You are okay even if you don’t know what they might be doing. You often show up late at your date because you forgot about it and were chilling with your friends.
You don’t even get reminded of them when you see things they love – this, my friend, is an absolute sign that you are NOT in love!
8. You are not in for the long haul.
You do not see a future with your partner. You cannot picture yourself with them in your dream house living peacefully.
You do not talk about the future with your partner either. Or when they do, you just dismiss the topic as soon as you can. You can clearly be perceived as uncomfortable when presented with this conversation.
This topic of discussion makes you nervous. You do not talk about the future with your partner and instead hide behind excuses like “Let’s love in the moment, honey!”
9. You want to change a lot of things about your partner.
You are there in their life as their caretaker and think you will be able to change them for good. Maybe he is an alcoholic, and you feel that if you help them, he will be able to become sober again.
You have taken the life of your partner into your control and now, the only purpose of your life is to improve him/her.
Yes, in love, people help each other grow. But if you are way too much into it, and feel obligated to make them a better individual, then maybe it is not love.
Love means loving someone for who they are.
10. You think of them as backup or someone temporary until you find someone better.
You are afraid of being single. You are always wondering if you might find someone better. Your eyes keep searching for better individuals.
You find it difficult to stay focused on your partner and are constantly on the lookout for potential partners.
If any of the above statements is true. Then, you really need to stop fooling yourself. You are not in love with that person.
You are just using them to curb your loneliness.
11. When you are alone, you feel restless.
Do you feel panic if you’re alone? There might be some tricks your brain plays to make you believe that you’re in love. Your brain is avoiding the panic situation by feeding you with the idea of you loving them.
There might be a possibility that you fear being alone and so have been seeking comfort in their love. Mate, it’s high time you need to confront your fears and better yourself.
Remember, first, you need to love yourself. Only then will you be able to love someone else with all your heart.
12. You are with them just so you can flaunt them in front of your friends.
You are with them for a single reason – to flaunt them in front of your friends. You like the status of being in a relationship and show off this “in love” stage of your life like it’s a crown.
You like being the center of attraction. You fabricate stories about your love for each other when deep beneath, you both know that you are faking them.
And when asked why you’re faking, you simply say – ‘what’s the problem? I am not speaking ill of you.’ The reality is, you aren’t even happy with them.
You just don’t want to lose the tag – In a relationship. If anyone else were to replace them, you would be completely okay with it.
13. You are with them because you feel you won’t find anyone else.
You were single for a long time. And finally, you find someone. You went on dates, it went great. But once in a relationship, the attraction was diffused almost immediately.
You have started to feel that you don’t connect with your partner. You don’t vibe with them anymore. But you still move ahead with your relationship… because you aren’t sure if you will find anyone else.
Well, it might be the case that you really aren’t in love with the other person. You are just afraid of being alone. You’re with them because you think you might not find anyone else if you lose them.
14. You two don’t really know each other.
So, you’re telling me you’ve been on multiple dates. You know that your partner is an engineer, and he loves to play basketball. Lives uptown and has a car. That’s about it. And you think they are the one?
Well, honestly, if you don’t know your partner, then there’s no way that you “seriously” love them. You just love the idea of them you have created in your mind.
Their likes, their dislikes are not known to you. You are even unaware of their traits. The kind of movies they are into. Things they do in their pastime, their hobbies… and everything else.
You ought to know more about them to understand if you really love them or not.
15. You do not have much in common.
Has it ever happened that someone asked you guys to say one thing that you both have in common, and you didn’t know what to answer? This may be because there’s nothing common between you two.
Your interests may not align. But, irrespective of different interests, most couples have a secret activity they love to do with their partner. This is how we, humans, bond.
So if you both don’t try to bridge the differences, nor do you share commonalities, then maybe it’s time to reassess the fact if you’re really in love with them.
16. You do not experience those butterflies anymore.
There are moments when their words start to feel suffocating. You start feeling caged around the person you once used to love.
There are moments when everything that you do is interpreted differently, and arguments consume a lot of space.
It is said with time, people change and so do their feelings towards each other. So, something that once made you feel loved and happy, now makes you feel annoyed.
Eyes have always been one of the most expressive and symbolic parts of us humans. The moment you look into each other’s eyes and feel that the love has drained out, you realize that it’s time to let go.
17. You do not compromise on your ego.
Ego and love can never coexist. If you and your partner do not try to understand each other’s point of view, ego is definitely taking over your relationship.
This attitude aggravates arguments. Arguments lead to hurtful behavior which further creates a communication gap. Ego is the knife that slowly and continuously stabs your love, eventually murdering it to death.
You might still find your partner attractive and also feel the desire to get intimate. This means your attachment or attraction is more physical and quite restricted emotionally.
18. You fantasize about different people.
You see someone charming, and you start fantasizing about him/her. You immediately start imagining what it would be like to be with them.
You feel if only you were single, you would have gone out with them. This further leads to a feeling of being stuck. You are unable to be focused on your partner and are constantly looking for options.
Now that you’ve found a new fish, you constantly try to bail out on your partner to hang out with your friends.
19. You are not breaking up because it will be a hassle.
You are not happy in your relationship and really want to end things with them. But you don’t want to call it quits because you are not ready to deal with the hassle that comes after.
You don’t want to have that breakup conversation with your partner because you think that it will be tiresome and hectic.
So, you start ignoring them instead. You avoid their calls, ignore their messages, and cancel all the dates.
If that’s the case, then you should immediately call it off.
Trust me, that’s better for both of you.
20. You do not enjoy the intimacy.
You are not excited when your partner tries to get close to you.
That sexual tension is missing. You don’t even feel the urge to get intimate. You feel sex is a chore that you must do to keep your relationship going.
The fire in you is missing, instead, you feel obligated to have sex with your partner. Their satisfaction does not seem to concern you anymore.
All the attempts of your partner to spice things up in bed end up in failure.
Wait, do you not want to know….
Being in Love vs Loving a Partner: Which is Better?
You may fall in and out of love multiple times in your lifetime. That is human. Things start to get stale over time. You might need to put extra effort into bringing back those butterflies.
Many people are not ready for serious relationships. They are only there for the honeymoon phase. As soon as this phase gets over, they convince themselves that things are not working out between you both.
But that is not how relationships work.
A long-term relationship requires effort, serious effort. The secret to a long-term relationship is two people who refuse to give up on each other, no matter what.
In a long-term relationship, people might not feel in love but still love their partner. Being in love and loving someone are two different things.
You can always love someone, but you may not necessarily be in love with them.
Now, which one of the above two is better totally depends on what you want from life. You can have a beautiful future in both.
Always remember that you might not have a choice in being in love with someone forever. But you can always love someone with all your heart. Forever and ever.
Can you go back to loving someone (like before)?
It is common to get nostalgic for that romantic tension you had in the honeymoon phase. People in long-term relationships tend to face a dry period at least once during the span of their relationship.
Communicating what you want always helps you get back on track. However, if you struggle in expressing yourself, you can always opt for couples’ therapy.
It has helped several couples all across the globe to get back to that “puppy” love.
The therapy might prove effective in helping you bring back that lost spark. Other than that, here are a few tips that can also lend a helping hand.
1. Care about their feelings
You need to be (actually) concerned about the thoughts and feelings of your partner.
Ask them about their day and notice the details. Carefully listen while they speak. Talk to them about your thoughts regularly. Let them feel heard.
There’s nothing more comforting than the fact that your partner cares for you.
2. Prioritize spending time together
Remember those Friday night movie dates… Where are they now?
Rekindle the lost romance by planning activities to spend time together. Get your mind off your work and learn to create a work-life balance. Make your love life a priority.
Remember, no gift can compensate for the time you missed spending with them.
3. Put the work it requires
Like every electronic appliance, servicing goes a long way in relationships too.
A heart-to-heart from time to time can make both of you fall in love again.
Love is not always in the grand gestures. Sometimes, it is in those Netflix and chill sessions on a Sunday evening. Brownie points for the forehead kiss and long cuddles! 😉
In the end,
Let’s just all accept
Love Defies All!
Of Course, it does!
…and now that all your questions have been answered, take those butterflies to the bank. 😉
I am already rooting for you.
Finding soulmates is pretty rare these days. It is no less than a miracle if you found yours. So, go ahead and say the L-word to your partner.
But, if you still haven’t found the one for yourself, don’t worry. Just because you haven’t found your soulmate yet, does not mean that you never will.
Wait till you get struck by the cupid’s arrow.
After that, there is no going back.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...