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How to Trigger the Hero Instinct In Your Man?

How to Trigger the Hero Instinct In Your Man?Updated on December 31, 2021 | Published on March 12, 2020
Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW, Certified Relationship Coach

9 Ways to Trigger a Hero Instinct in Men

It’s a known fact that men love to be perceived as saviors! Women now are looking for hero instincts in a man when they are looking for a loyal relationship.

So, let’s get to the bottom of it!

Summary in Infographics

Want to see Hero Instinct in your man?  9 simple ways to unlock it
Want to see Hero Instinct in your man – 9 simple ways to unlock it

What is the Hero Instinct?

A hero is someone who is brave, admired by people for doing inspiring and great things for the masses. They are fearless and highly-skilled for facing challenges, which are not possible by a common man.

However, in general, we all want to be like a hero or want to have that ‘hero instinct’ in us.

For men, their deepest desire is to feel heroic or feel like very much needed by the women they attracted to, and for women, they like to do heroic deeds, but that is not a requirement for them to be perceived as one.

When we think of a hero, we imagine Hollywood movies, where the male protagonist is shown to be a man who saves the day.

The male hero will save people’s lives and even protect his love interest from the dangers that are plotted in the movie. In the end, he is loved by all.

Why does a man want to be your Hero?

Owing to the basic male psychology, a man becomes naturally protective when truly in love. A study published in the ‘Physiology and behavior journal’ states that the hormone testosterone makes them believe that they are responsible for their partner’s safety.

For instance, they will take the front lead in case anyone is arguing with you. Or, maybe, keep a watch and protect you from prying eyes.

It can be as simple as not letting you walk towards the traffic side of the road or wait for you to enter your home before they drive back.

Your man may not be able to express his love to you through words. But his actions will tell you all.

Where does the word “Hero Instinct” Come From?

The term ‘Hero Instinct was first introduced in the best-selling book, ‘His Secret Obsession’, written by James Bauer.

James, a relationship psychologist, worked with thousands of males and females and helped them strengthen their relationships.

He studied his client’s relationships and researched male psychology. The result he found was that the key to a happy relationship is by triggering the hero instinct in a man.

The main element here is that you don’t make your man feel unwanted. Infact, you make him feel like you need him the most.

Men will love to hold your back and stand as a pillar for you. He will love to see you work out your own things but also take pride if he can be a part of it too.

Why does the Hero Instinct Work?

The hero instinct works on appreciation. It makes the men feel that their efforts are not wasted. They realize they aren’t spending their time on someone who doesn’t value him.

On receiving the smallest of appreciation, they are ready to do anything to keep you happy.

If you understand the power of ‘the hero instinct’ and implement it in everyday life, you already have his heart. On the contrary, don’t misinterpret that he is taking efforts to manipulate you. 

When you consider him your hero without capes, he is ready to do things for you without asking for anything in return. He will do things for you that are unexpected from him.

He will change for the woman of his life who makes him feel superior in this world.

What are the three types of Hero Deeds? [With Examples]

Hero deeds are divided into three types, depending on the intent of the man, including:

There are some simple, old-fashioned deeds like opening the car door for you, lending you his coat, lifting a heavy object for you, etc. However simple these may seem; the men will do it only out of affection towards you.

Then there are advice-based hero deeds. This category includes giving you suggestions for an interview or which smartphone is better.

It can be as simple as recommending you a new place to dine in or a new technique to do your work more efficiently. These are the signs that he wants to prove useful to you.

The third type is the special treatment hero deeds. All the unexpected gifts that he pampers you with are classified in this category.

He can also do some household chores for you. This simply means that he puts your needs before his.

Why should you trigger his Hero Instinct?

As we discussed above, the hero instinct makes the men feel valued and appreciated. It allows them to do unexpected things for their woman selflessly.  

Honestly, the hero instinct is the way to a man’s heart. If you don’t believe in this, you will later regret it when you lose him forever. This is why it is important to trigger the hero instinct in him.

If you are always independent and keeping the charge of your own things, your man will be proud of you. But he will not feel proud of himself.

This is because he will think he has no important role to play in your life and you will do just fine without him. He will love you only when you become a little dependent on him.

Why is it important for you to understand your man’s hero instinct?

The key thing to understand here is your man wants to be a valuable part of your life. Unless the most appreciable woman of his life values him, he is going to feel worthless. And you don’t want to make him feel that, isn’t it?

So, it is important to ask for his help at frequent intervals to make him feel that you need him. This doesn’t mean that he considers you weak.

But he wants to do things for you whenever he is available. He wants to make his woman feel precious. He wants to dedicate his life to you but it is only possible if you allow him to.

Ways to Trigger The Hero Instinct in Your Man

So, if you’ve got a brief idea of what a hero instinct is, then you can trigger the same in your man.

Here are a few hero instinct triggers

1. Get help from him

It’s great to be an independent person; there’s no denying it. However, men feel insecure or a better way to say it is they feel dorky around independent women.

It is good that you do all things by yourself, what about your man, who is dying to offer his help to you? He is dissatisfied and feels useless when he is of no help.

To win your man, show him that you need him. Ask his help for some chores or during an emergency. For example, call him when your car is broken down, or ask him to move the furniture of the house when you are mopping.

Involve him in making decisions, ask for his opinions, and then see the magic with a big smile on his face.

2. Appreciate him for what he does

The more you’ll thank him, the more he’ll value you! Even if it is a menial task, thank him for everything. Thank him when he drops you to work; thank him when he cleans the house or even cooks you a meal. 

To trigger a man’s hero instinct, you need to make him feel that he is the real hero of your life, and you are incomplete without him.

If you want to win your man, avoid taking him for granted, which may not be taken positively by him.

3. Respect him

When you will start admiring him and honor him for his deeds, you’ll light up your man. He is always striving hard to earn your respect, and you need to value that.

Let him win your heart, and if you do that, your man’s heart is totally yours.

4. Don’t go overboard

Contradicting the previous point which suggests thanking your man for what he does, this point will tell you that you need not go over the top.

For example, stop appreciating him for regular chores like putting his coat on the hanger when he enters the house. This way, he won’t accept the fact that the thank you was required here. 

Instead, you need to bring some challenges for your man, as they love them. Ask them to fix the tap or the door of the garage. They don’t like women who nag at them.

So here again, don’t get so demanding and strike a balance between both of you.

5. Praise him among his friends and colleagues

Make him feel as if he is the seventh heaven by acknowledging his acts in front of others. Speak good about him and what made you feel good about him.

Surprise him by taking him out on a date after his work with some quirky hero instinct phrases. His colleagues and friends will be around to watch that, and your man will obviously feel good, and the hero instinct in him will be triggered!

6. Make him realize that he makes you happy

If you want your man to feel like a hero, along with making him feel appreciated and respected, making him realize that he makes you happy will be cherry on the top. You see, it is the base of your relationship.

If he feels that he is not making you happy, then he’ll feel that your relationship is failing. Simple text messages expressing how happy you are with him have the power of turning things around you!

7. Support him in doing things that interest him

Your man will go head over heels on the fact that you let him do whatever he loves. Especially sports or adventure which shows his masculine side as well.

They like to be with other men for a while to have that manly talk and sharing the same interests with them.

You need to avoid nagging to do chores in the middle of his playing video games, or going to the gym. Instead, for triggering his hero instincts, praise how his muscles look, and the next you’ll come to know!

8. Challenge him!

Men love challenges.  Do nothing, but challenge them. It brings out their competitive spirit. When they have a mission to complete, they take it as a chance to prove themselves.

It can be anything like fixing a broken thing or cooking a day without your help. Just set a challenging task for him.

You can also take it in a way that while he works to fix things, you get a chance to relax. After the work is done, there is no false admiration thrown at him.

With the completion of the task, he genuinely earns your respect and that’s what he also wants.

9. Tell him “He’s the ONLY one!”

Your man knows he is the only one if you are in a serious or married relationship. But it helps to ‘show’ him that he is the only one.

You can do this by paying attention to every small detail of him. You can show it through your body language or your touches towards him.

Exchange a few meaningful looks with him and learn to understand it at once what he is saying.

On occasions, just tell him ‘There’s nobody like him’ or ‘He is the only one’ and make him feel he rules your world.

Here are some Tips to trigger the Hero instinct in your man –

How to trigger a man’s hero instinct

Winding It Up

You needn’t play the damsel in distress

You can be a strong woman, and at the same time make your man feel like a hero.

Isn’t it a badass thing to control the scenario your way by making him feel he is in control of the situation?

Wink wink!!!

Frequently Asked Questions on Hero Instinct

How can I trigger my Husband’s Hero Instinct?

To trigger your husband’s hero instinct, ask him to help you with tasks he is good at. It can be as simple as asking him to fix some issue on your laptop. It will boost his confidence.

It’s just how a man’s psyche operates; they feel good when they can help you in any manner. It is not necessary to ask him to do something huge. Some small things that you are unable to do can also make him feel useful.

Men love when you flaunt them in front of others and take pride in having them. It tells them that he is your hero and means the world to them.

What are the Hero Instinct 12 phrases?

Hero Instinct 12 words is a list of things to tell your man over text to boost his confidence or trigger his hero instinct. They have been tested on many guys and have successfully triggered their hero instincts.

In our modern age relationships, many women have stopped using it. However, it is an extremely crucial way to a man’s heart. It might not disappear all your relationship problems, but it will certainly make things better.

When he does manly things for you, express your appreciation in conversation and rub his shoulders. The man will totally fall for you. The crux is to make the man feel needed.

What are the Secret Obsession Phrases?

These secret obsession phrases help your man to fall for you. These phrases show you his vulnerable side. It helps you to grow together on an emotional, mental and physical level.

When you use these phrases, the man comes begging for your love and will do everything to show you how much he needs you in his life. A man’s psychology plays an important role here.

When you use phrases like ‘I want you’, or ‘I love you’, it might be a normal way of showing affection for you, but for him, you earned his world. A man needs reassurance with such love phrases.

What is a Man’s Secret Obsession?

Every man has his own secret obsession. It is something that a man desires more than love and money. If you can rightly find out your man’s secret obsession, you will definitely win him over. To get his love and commitment for the rest of your life, it is important to find out your man’s secret obsession.

Every man’s secret obsession is to be with someone who considers him as her hero i.e., brings out the hero instinct in him. Every man has a different obsession so the woman will have to find it out for her man.

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