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How to Let Go of Someone – 40 Ways

How to Let Go of Someone – 40 Ways

Updated on Sep 29, 2022 | Published on Aug 15, 2020

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

How To Let Go of Someone You Love - 15 Steps You Need to Know

How to let go of someone when you are deeply in love? Yes, love is a difficult journey, and so are the ‘goodbyes’ in a relationship. Many people manage to cope up, but some are unable to.

But if you are wanting to move forward in life, then you must take action right away. Yes, you will be boggled with thoughts, sweet memories, blame-game, causes, and consequences.

But if you have made up your mind to let go of someone, then stand firm on your decision. Accept it that it’s time to move on!

And if you need any extra help, then you must read our article. Because we are listing some steps on how to let go of someone you love. Further, making your task easier.

But before that, we are listing some signs that indicate that it’s time to let go of someone.

15 Steps on How to Let Go of Someone You Love
15 Steps on How to Let Go of Someone You Love

How To Let Go of Someone – 40 Ways


SUMMARY
We invest so much time in relationships but it is painful when they don’t work the way you wanted it to be. Goodbyes are difficult especially to ones who formed an integral part of your life. But it’s necessary to take drastic steps.

1. Make up your mind

Letting go of someone cannot happen in a minute, day, or overnight. There is a different thought process going on in mind.

So, before you land upon a decision – examine all facts. Ask yourself that – do you want this?

If you are confused, then take some time. Give it a thought. And if you are confident about your decision, then do it immediately. Do not drag it and lead the other person into a false hope.

2. Start with forgiving yourself

Why did I fall into this relationship? Why did I break his/her heart? Were there ways to save this relationship? All these are afterthoughts that lead to self-doubt and unnecessary assumptions.

We all are human beings who knowingly and unknowingly commit mistakes. But that shouldn’t stop us from moving on. Rather, we should learn from every good and bad experience.

3. Cut off all ties

When you fall in love, you start feeling that you both are synced for life. Your bonding becomes strong on a physical as well as on a mental level.

And that’s why you first need to start working on separating yourself on a physical as well as an emotional level. This means that you cannot have ‘friendship,’ unless you are completely healed.

Also, convey the same to the person because you will need space to heal. Do this till you get mentally and physically stable.

NOTE
Try befriending your inner self. With this, it will become easier to heal and you will be able to judge what is good or bad for your life.

4. Accept the past and move on

A study claims that people find it difficult to initiate a breakup because they think their partners are dependent on them. And they keep sulking in that guilt that they weren’t a great partner or they shouldn’t have ended the relationship.

So, instead of suffering all this pain, it’s best to move on and forget the past. Remember, there is no point in correcting the relationship because it is never meant to happen that way.

Also, you are trying to move on and that’s why it is healthy to accept your past.  

5. Induce in self-love

This is the time to pamper yourself. Unearth what values you stand by. Because when you are bound in a relationship, you tend to change yourself by letting go of your dreams and ambitions. But this is the time to win back freedom.

And you may start with, noting down your feelings to heal yourself. Moreover, this process of letting go might demotivate you, make you less energetic, and give a vibe of depression.

So, induce in self-love by focusing on your mental and physical well-being. Eat well, take ample rest, practice relaxation, hang out with friends and family.

Above all, if you feel stressed, then let it out by crying.

6. Enjoy the phase of being ‘single’

Letting go of someone is a crucial phase. And several times, we tend to get depressed as well as angry for facing such experiences.

Furthermore, thinking that, “I am bad at relationships and I am never going to get a partner.” So, instead of undertaking such thinking, it’s best to question yourself. For example:

  • Was I really happy in that relationship?
  • How was my life before I got involved in this relationship?
  • What personal interests did I sacrifice in this relationship?
  • Which are the things I enjoyed when I was single?

By undertaking this exercise, you understand what you have sacrificed and what lies ahead in life. You can recollect the sweet memories you cherished before the relationship.

Further, giving you the strength that you have lived a better life before. Thus, making it easy to embrace a new chapter of life.

7. Stop daydreaming

If you are isolating yourself from your loved ones, then stop fantasizing about them too! Then it could be remembering your future planning with them or even romantic encounters.

If you wish to let go of someone, then you must disassociate them from your life. Constant daydreaming is of no help if you wish to seek the solution to – how to let go of someone you love?

8. Start making your own future plans

Start planning your future which doesn’t include them. Invest your precious time on people who value your presence. Ignite your passions, creativity, and interests to find a direction in life.

Start planning in a way that your career reaps maximum benefits. By keeping yourself busy you will be unable to recollect those bad memories.

Moreover, have a ‘to-do-list’ by your side to acquire those unfulfilled dreams.

9. Keep a daily routine in place

You might have changed your daily routine as per the will of your partner. But now that you are trying to let go, then have a productive day and night routine.

Set up timings for activities. Make sure to start and end your day on the pre-decided time.

Indulge in healthy activities like diet plan, exercise regime, healthy meals, skin routine, and so on.

The whole point in doing all this is to motivate yourself for a better day and to move forward without hurdles.

10. Take a sabbatical from social media

Social media is vicious sometimes. Because each time a photo of your ex pops in – all those memories start flowing in.

Thus, making it very difficult to move on especially in this digital age. Besides, a study also highlights that those constant reminders in the online space make it impossible to move on.

So, if you wish to let go, then take a break from social media. Stop stalking your ex because it will nowhere help you to recuperate.

11. Share your feelings with someone

Many studies have focused on the fact that emotion suppression may adversely impact the body. Then it could be anxiety, early death, or even depression.

So, don’t bottle up your feelings or emotions. Let them out to your friends or family members. With this, they will always have your back when you are in need.

Besides, if you are uncomfortable talking to them then you may seek the help of an expert.

12. Accept that some things are beyond the control

You can’t always force a person to love you or respect you. Because not all situations are in your control. If things are meant to happen – then they will happen. Nothing can stop them! And if you accept this fact then you will gain positivity.

Besides, control your feelings and take ample time to process them. With this, you will be able to divert focus on yourself, instead of worrying about others.

13. Learn from your experiences

Start by noting down the factors that led you to take such a drastic step. Also, evaluate factors that worked and what did not work.

Besides, focus on the role that you played in this relationship. Well, it could be negative as well as positive.

With this, you will understand where you went wrong. Learning from your experiences helps in having a healthy relationship in the future.

14. Free yourself from all the negativity

Start by letting go of the anger that you have within yourself. Because that will bring all those bad memories again.

You will keep thinking about ways that would have helped to repair the relationship. Also, you will start assuming what the other person must be feeling.

Instead of taking all this pain, it’s best to let go of all this negativity. Stop thinking about the future that you had planned with them because that will help you heal! 

15. Embark on a new life for yourself

Start working on the professional and personal front. Groom yourself in fields you lacked the most. Meet those long-lost friends, mingle with family, and plan weekend getaways.

Start meeting new people, take up a new hobby, or start embarking on a new career choice. Try unearthing your likes and values that were hidden somewhere. 

Yes, while taking this leap, you might face anger or fear. But it’s time to embrace new happenings.

However, while doing all this, evaluate which activity gives you immense pleasure and happiness. And practice that more so that it becomes easy to let go!

16. Remind yourself they were NOT perfect

For a fact honey, just know, No One Is Perfect… and nor was (s)he.

They weren’t THE only one for you… you will be someone better.

When we are in a relationship, especially long-term relationships, most of us turn a blind-eye to their flaws and look at our partners as perfect. But if things are not working, it simply doesn’t matter whether they were perfect for you or not. It’s just not working!

This might sound like a bi*chy idea, but recalling their flaws will just help you get over them faster.

17. Sex is not bad!

I’m not going to tell you the benefits of having sex. Blahhh! We all know that.

What I am going to talk about is: how to convince yourself for having sex with someone else than your ex.

First of all, please understand, having sex with a new person doesn’t mean you are wrong. The previous relationship is over, you are not cheating anyone. You are just exploring and moving on. You are trying to keep your emotions and physical health in balance.

Consider it a practical approach to deal with the crisis. Sex helps you release some good hormones which boosts your happiness…. So, why not?

Now in case I’ve failed to convince you, I have an alternative – Try masturbation or sex toys to enjoy and feel the pleasure.

18. The joy of being single is immense

All that relationship nostalgia is acceptable. It’s absolutely normal to recall how you spent time with each other.

But thinking about the good times will make the suffering unbearable, my friend. Don’t do that to yourself.

Instead, imagine being single after such a long time. Visualise meeting someone new, and more deserving. Alright, if not this, at least imagine yourself as a free bird who can explore the world of singles.

You can party, go to pubs and discos, solo trips and what not. You can do whatever you want, and there is absolutely no one to “check-in” unannounced. Trust me, eventually you will find out that you don’t depend on anyone else for your happiness.

19. Sleep like a baby!

Do you even remember when was the last time you had a good night’s sleep?

Ofcourse, you don’t!

That’s because of the turbulence you were facing. But take my advice and go to sleep.

In all this emotional drama, what do you torture the most? Your mind! And there is only one thing that can heal it. Sleep. You need ample sleep to deal with the stress in your waking life.

Go to the spa or take body massages or you can also go for acupuncture sessions. It will help you sleep better and also refresh your mind.

20. Spare yourself some me-time

There is a famous saying: Time heals everything. This is indeed true. It’s of course not possible to forget your ex just in one day. You’re not a robot!

Take your time to relieve your pain and in the process, keep reminding yourself that this too shall pass. Understand that the pain is not permanent in your life.

Take one step after another. Don’t force the changes immediately and empathise with yourself.

21. Where is your focus?

Remember as a kid how games were always more tempting more the studies? Similarly, now your past is grabbing more attention than your present and future. You have to redirect your focus on moving on.

Stop thinking about your ex. The more you think about them, the more it’ll be difficult for you. So instead think about positive things in your life. It will prevent you from bad and destructive thoughts.

Binge watch your favourite movie or cook your favourite food or and just spend some quality time with your family.

22. Believe that the deserving candidate is waiting for you

Paulo Coelho said “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello”. Don’t ever think that your partner is your last option and you will never be able to get someone in your life again.

Always remember if one door is closed, God opens several doors for you. Don’t ever think yourself to be less than someone.

There are millions of people in this world and you will cross your path with your perfect match someday.

23. Did you try something new?

It may seem difficult at this moment but gather the courage and walk out of the dark to see new things. Trust me, you will not regret it.

Talk to new people, try new hobbies or even go out to explore new places. The best thing about exploring is that even if the experience was bad, you’re never at loss.

Learning about new things will not only keep you entertained, but it is also a great way to distract yourself from the trauma.

Go out and party. Make new friends. Be adventurous and do things that you have never done before. If nothing, you will at least create some good memories.

24. Get back to your hobbies

Most renowned poets have at least one poem about heartbreak that went down in history… and why is that? That’s because the audience can relate to it.

But they tried to cope with this pain in the form of poetry and you must too. You are free to find your own channel of coping – like painting, dancing or even cooking.  

Maybe you’re great at painting, but you couldn’t devote enough time to it. After all, you were committed to someone and that demanded time too. But now you have all the time in the world. Following your passion is a great thing. It leads to creating excellence.

If you were a book worm, make your own library. If you are a singer, write new lyrics and give them a voice. Take your passion to a level up. Create a nice collection in your own talent hub.

25. Nothing works like positive affirmations

Positive thinking is the key to happiness. It helps you to improve both your physical and mental health and help you cope with stress and grief better.

Believe that you will eventually overcome all odds and become a strong person. Make this the mantra of your life and write/chant some of these affirmations.

  • I can live my life independently.
  • I am beautiful the way I am.
  • God has better plans for me.
  • I will be a happier person.
  • I will find someone better.

26. Live life to the fullest

Always wanted the thrill in your otherwise boring life? Now is the time to get it back!

Choose this time to bring out the finest version of yourself. Be the exciting and fun-loving person that you are!

Go sky diving, swimming, and welcome the mad person in you. Start living your life to the fullest, without the fear of being judged or questioned.

On the way, you will discover new potentials in you and eventually make you feel more confident.

27. The journey of journalling…

Journalling is a voyage into your internal self. It is the best way to organise your thoughts. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, you always have your journal to write whatever comes up to your mind.

Write about what mistakes you’ve made and how you want to improve. Mention the good deeds you did. Write about the things you learned. Keep adding your experiences to the pages of your diary.

Trust me no story gets wasted. Write as if you were an author. Who knows, if one day you become one!

28. How far is the shopping mall?

Now a lot of things depend on your pocket and so does shopping!

But buddy if you have money, then don’t waste it on the beer bottles, and whisky cups. Go the hell out of your house and shop like a rich kid! 😉

Buy yourself at least two to three pairs of new dresses. Replace all those old shampoo bottles, worn out brushes, combs, bags, and shoes. Basically, do a makeover!

Plus, don’t go shopping alone if you don’t like it.  Take a friend who can suggest good things to you. Gorge on some junk food, if you want, and come back home with a wide smile!

29. Believe that you’re strong

Yes, you are. Stronger than ever.

You have to make yourself so strong that if one day you come face-to-face with each other, it still doesn’t affect you. Face reality and live with it.

I understand it’s difficult for you to breathe in the same air while you’re trying to move on. But eventually you will feel unaffected. So why not start practising it from today?

Let the bygones be bygones. Once you process this thought in your mind, you will care less.

30. Make your wish list!

If you already have one… then maybe, add more stuff to it!

List down the things you wish to do or buy. Make plans with your friends and family and spend as much time as possible with them. This is a great way to ignite self-love within you.

You will realise how much you have missed in this journey while you prioritized your partner. But, it’s always better late than never. So, start working on your plans and change the directions of your life.

31. Self-reflect

Often in a relationship, people tend to lose their individuality.

People come into your life and try to manifest their beliefs into you and sometimes, it is so powerful that you lose yourself in it. This is the time when you can sit and think about all those things.

You can question your thoughts, values and beliefs and re-evaluate it. Cut out all the craps that you have been believing or doing unwantedly. It’s time to start a fresh life with a fresh perspective. Dig deeper and get an insight. Start from today and see the difference.

32. Focus on your work

Work harder for your career. Take challenges and give your best. Impress your seniors with your work and let them applaud you for your hard work!

That will change the motive of your life, overnight.

Bring back the passion into your profession. As you climb the ladder of success, past failures will not affect you. Instead, your journey will motivate others.

33. Practice gratitude

There are so many things in this world that you can be thankful for. And trust me, gratitude has its own power of healing. To start with you can show gratitude for…

  • For being alive.
  • For the pillar of supports who never left you alone in these hard times.
  • For the fact that you’re so strong.
  • For this beautiful world with some amazing people or creatures living in it.

Look at the brighter side of your life and the darkness will slowly fade away. Rather than counting the faults in your life, count your blessings. That’s the only way you can walk out of this tough time.

34. Cry the river out!

Let me just say it once and for all – Crying doesn’t mean make you weak, it just makes you human.

Suppressing your emotions can lead you to a traumatic life and depression. So, it’s better to vent out. If needed, call someone and cry in front of them.

Most importantly, don’t hide your pain from your family and friends. There is a reason we call them “family”. The warmth you will receive when you express your pain will relieve you like no other. You will feel emotionally secure in the protection of your loved ones.

35. Missed mother nature?

I am sure you did.

So, walk into a park or trek to the top of the mountains, spend some time in the lap of Nature.

Let the calmness and peace surround you. Let the chirping sound of the birds delight your heart. Feel the rain, light breeze caressing your hair. Watch a beautiful sunrise or sunset. Dive in rejuvenation with Nature’s beauty… and you’ll come out a happy person.

After all, there’s a reason why nature is referred to as the best therapist.

36. Stop the blame game

It’s no one’s fault!

Whatever happened has already happened. Blaming them or cursing them will not improve the situation. Instead, it will only harm you.

So, if you are trying to move on, you need to do it with a positive mindset. Be the bigger person and believe that “everything happens for a reason”… and there’s better things waiting for you out there.

37. Wrap up the mess, now!

Yes! Stop being a mess. You need to start a new life right from scratch… and you need to do whatever it takes to do it.  

If you think this place is reminding you of your ex then change it. Move in a new place. If your budget doesn’t allow you to do that, then at least change the way your house looks.

When you love someone, it’s obvious that you’ll preserve each and everything related to them.

Even if it’s a small chocolate wrapper, you’ll hesitate to throw it. But now that the person is gone from your life and you are trying to move on, get rid of everything that reminds you of that person.

Or else each time you see them, your wounds will hurt. 

38. Engage in some physical exercise and outdoor activities

According to the experts, indulging yourself in physical exercise or outdoor activities will help you make better decisions. Yes, you heart that right.  

Physical activities circulate enough blood to your brain, thus detoxifying all the negative thoughts that corrupts your thinking. This way, your body will also assist you in moving on.

Join the gym or a Yoga class. Your body will release good hormones which will actually boost your mental health. It will make you feel good and confident about your body and also motivate you to live a healthy life.

39. Meditation is magic!

Forget all the failed attempts of meditation. It happens to everyone. Our brains are so active that it is difficult to control it. But it is definitely not impossible.

Start with a basic 2 minutes practice. Set an alarm for 2 minutes later. Close your eyes, sit in a comfortable meditation position. Try to pause all your thoughts and imaginations. Feel the zero.

This practice worked for me, but it isn’t the only way to meditate. There are uncountable ways! Try all of them and see what works best for you.

Once you master the art of controlling your thought process, it’ll get a lot easier for you to walk out of this dark.

40. Take baby steps

These are 40 suggestions, pal- too much to cover at once. Don’t force all the 40 suggestions on yourself at a time. Take baby steps.

Suppose, you took any five steps first. Practice them every day without fail, until they become your habit. Then take up the next five steps. Gradually, incorporate all the 40 steps in your routine.

Choose the steps as per your comfort. Start with the ones that are easy to accommodate. For example, if you cannot start exercising now, don’t force yourself now, take it up later. But hey, don’t procrastinate, because this pain is just going to accumulate and eventually burst!

So, these were some of the tips that will help you in this crucial phase. But, before we end this article, we would like to share a few quotes that will help you cope up while going through this bad phase in life.

Quotes on How To Let Go of Someone


1.       “The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

–          Steve Maraboli
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” - Steve Maraboli

2.       “Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”

–           Roy T. Bennett
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.” - Roy T. Bennett

3.       “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”

–           Deborah Reber
“Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” - Deborah Reber

4.       “If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.”

–          Michael Bassey Johnson
“If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.” - Michael Bassey Johnson

5.       “Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”

–          Mandy Hale
“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we're settling for.” - Mandy Hale

Closing Thoughts

So, the puzzle – how to let go of someone you love may sound easy but it is difficult. Because you are discharging an important part of your life.

Therefore, we suggest that you implement these tips because they will help you to free yourself from a stressful breakup.

Further helping you become a happy, strong, and healthy person!

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