Are you interested in a female led relationship (FLR)? Are you a woman who wants to take charge? Or a man and want your woman to lead?
Then you’re at the correct place because you’ll find everything about FLR in this think-piece.
Well, we are all raised with the notion that men, being all pragmatic and powerful, are the family providers… whereas the women – feeble and sensitive, cook, clean, take care of the children, and manage household chores.
However, as more women step out of these society-defined clichéd roles, the relationship dynamics between a man and woman changed. One of the finest examples? Female-led relationships.
Wondering if it’s even possible for men and women to switch roles, and let each other swap responsibilities without any power struggles?
Let us delve deeper into the intricacies of such a progressive kind of relationship.
Female Led Relationship Infographic
What is a Female Led Relationship (FLR)?
Female led relationships are where women lead the entire relationship and household, have more authority and responsibilities. Men, however, have more household responsibilities and might find it emasculating.
In short, a female-led relationship is the one where the woman takes the lead and is responsible for making important decisions for herself as well as her partner.
Truth be told, it isn’t as simple as it sounds. To understand FLR, it is important that you know how it functions and what are the positives and negatives of it.
So, let us try to define it in as much detail as possible.
There isn’t an official or formal definition of FLR, however, it suffices to say that a female-led relationship is different than the age-old male-driven relationship norms.
As opposed to male-led relationships, an FLR enables women to be in charge of their everyday life. She not only takes care that the household is provided for but is also the one to make important decisions for the family and her relationship.
As it is expected, many men would find it difficult, even emasculating, to be in a relationship where the female leads and acts as the decision-maker.
But history proves that despite being born in a patriarchal society, powerful women such as Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, and Indira Gandhi have ruled nations, driven the world, and made decisions that no man could ever come up with.
Female led relationships do not undermine or disrespect the existence of men in our society. It simply denies the banality of male roles and the belief that, traditionally, male members of a family are supposed to lead the way. Instead, it gives women an opportunity to be the dominant partner – to be what we call an ‘alpha female’.
Female Led relationships vs Male led relationships
Whether in ancient times or modern, male led relationships are the default setup. The majority of relationships between a man and a woman work this way.
In ancient times, men used to hunt while the women cared for the children. Now men have jobs while the women’s role in nurturing children, cleaning the home and cooking.
Whereas female led relationships don’t follow such dynamics. Let’s know more…
|Female led relationships||Male led relationships|
|In female led relationships, both of them have equal opportunities and freedom to work. She may or may not earn more and that’s never an issue.||In male led relationships, males are the sole breadwinners. They earn to provide food, shelter, and a living to the women and children.|
|Even if the man can’t earn, the household won’t suffer because she also earns.||Without the man’s income, the household will suffer.|
|Men and women raise the children together. Both connect to them equally. Sometimes, men might connect more deeply if the women are too busy. The roles don’t depend on gender.||The man loves his children but he doesn’t share a deep connection with them as the woman does.|
|Both of them put forward their choices and they can choose the best for their lives. There’s more freedom of speech for women.||Men make decisions and are responsible for the entire family.|
|Men and women share their responsibilities and household chores equally. Or, it’s when the men do what their female partner asks. Men don’t feel less than for doing chores.||Men are always off to work so chores and caring are the women’s responsibility. The man hardly does anything.|
Female led relationships are the byproduct of women empowerment. Many debate that FLR’s aren’t “normal” because that’s what we saw. Well, that was because society was always skeptical about women’s capabilities for their delicacy and lower physical strength.
However, with modernization, soon gender roles will be over.
But are all FLRs the same? Let’s know more here…
Different Types of Female Led Relationships
Yes, there is more than one type of FLR. The types vary according to the level of intensity.
While female-led relationships are slowly making its way in society, we have to understand that the human mind has spent the last 200,000 years believing that men lead in every day and women just offer support by taking care of him and his family.
As much as this gender role distinction feels derogatory, we mustn’t forget that society is willing to change. But it cannot happen overnight.
While there are four different levels of female-led relationships, most couples are comfortable with only one or two of them at most. Let us take a look at the various categories.
Type 1 – Low-Intensity Female Control
This is the mildest level where the woman most likely doesn’t even want an FLR, but the man suggests it as something new and interesting.
And, while she doesn’t agree or understand female-dominated connections, she allows her partner to take over some of her tasks while she takes some of his.
Type 2 – Medium Intensity Female Control
Slightly more advanced than Type 1, the women at this level may not have wanted this kind of relationship at first, but the taste of what it feels like was too good to give it up.
However, they still aren’t confident enough to take complete control, and some may even believe that it could ruin their relationship.
They only accept this experiment to try something intriguing and eccentric.
Type 3 – Definite Female Control
The women at this level are more confident and know what they are doing. They refuse to succumb to a patriarchal society and do not shy away from leading the relationship.
The man enjoys and supports being with such a strong woman. In this type of relationship, the woman is in charge of everything – finances, family decisions, sex, and almost everything else in the relationship.
Type 4 – High Intensity Female Control
Honestly, this level isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. At this level of a female-led relationship, the man is nothing but a servant whose only purpose is to follow the woman’s orders and dedicate every moment of his life towards keeping her happy.
The woman dictates every single aspect of his life.
While such a relationship equation may be extremely difficult for men to understand or accept, the biggest advantage of an FLR at this level is the intimacy.
As women start taking complete control, the sex gets kinkier and takes extreme forms.
As women start exploring their dominant side, they become more open towards experimenting in bed. At level 4, they could be open to exploring anything from mildly kinky sex to extreme BDSM.
The woman is usually upfront about when she’s available to spend time, go out on dates, and communicate her expectations from her partner in FLR dating.
Like how men usually approach desirable women, women also do the same.
However, all FLR doesn’t begin with female dominance. A woman might slowly try it out and notice how she and the man enjoy the dynamics. If both of them equally enjoy it, she may slowly become more dominant with time.
FLR dating is usually a trial because women usually don’t find willing men that feel comfortable with it. But when they find one, it might lead to long-term FLR relationships.
The trends in FLR marriages clash with the traditional ones.
For instance, the woman might propose, she might not change her surname, she might sign favorable prenups, the man might also be responsible for the child’s upbringing, and they might book all property mutually or in the woman’s name alone.
In polyamory, both primary partners have one or more secondary partners. In a polyamorous FLR, the arrangement might base more on her terms.
She might have multiple partners but she might not let her man have any. The happiness factor of such relationships depends on her partner’s submission.
However, many people say that often FLR relationships don’t really work, but let’s have a look…
Do female led relationships work?
If both partners want and are happy with their FLR dynamics, it will work as any other relationship. However, if anyone is unwilling, it might not.
FLRs work if both partners are happy with such dynamics. If anyone isn’t content with FLR, it’ll bring the relationship to its end.
Both man and woman must accept wholeheartedly that the woman will take the lead in relationship decisions.
Though the woman’s powers vary based on what the couple establishes. The fact that it depends on the couple and not the woman alone strengthens the relationship.
If someone wants a male led relationship, whether they’re a man or a woman, FLR won’t work for them.
So how does the couple work? Well, it all depends on these…
Female led relationships Rules
Relationships work the best when you follow some guidelines, rules, and boundaries.
They help make the relationship healthier and don’t just restrain the partners unnecessarily, as many think. So, let’s find out the FLR special rules…
1. Define your roles and boundaries
Clearly state what you will and won’t do in your relationship and what you expect from your partner.
Know one another’s boundaries to avoid any conflicts in future. Both of you must accept the roles with an open mind.
2. Serve with honesty
Honesty is important in any interpersonal relationship. In FLRs, it is more important as it’s a new concept.
Make sure you both are honest about your feelings. Don’t unwillingly accept everything your partner asks. Be open to sharing your mind and listening to your partner.
3. Always check-in
Since this is a new idea, make sure you both have regular conversations. Communicate whether you both feel happy with it. Because even if it’s exciting now, it may not feel as intense down the lane.
4. Focus on love and connection
Relationships aren’t all about power. FLRs aren’t about suppressing males… rather it revolves around equality or role reversal only when both partners are comfortable.
So, don’t over prioritize the relationship structure. Remember that you’re together for love, not for rules or power. While establishing any other rule, remember you love your partner.
5. Don’t pay heed to others
Many people will pass crude remarks about your relationship. Some will call the woman bossy and selfish, some will make jokes about the man’s masculinity.
Don’t listen to them because if this brings you joy, this is it for you. Pay attention to your needs and don’t let their opinions affect your bliss.
6. Be aware of the abuse
Abuse is possible in any relationship. Ensure that your partner doesn’t take advantage of the dynamics.
For instance, a male might become too dependent on the woman and impose on her unfairly. Or, the woman might become too controlling. Both are abuse and nobody must tolerate it.
Just because it’s the type of relationship you want, doesn’t mean you must bear an unhealthy relationship.
7. Trust your partner
If you’re new to it, you may not easily trust your partner. However, without trust, a relationship can’t work. So, trust your partner with an open mind.
Trust that your partner won’t exert unhealthy rules or dynamics whether it’s your finances or social mingling.
If you constantly feel suspicious, you can’t truly love one another. And people will break you apart easily.
8. Women will motivate men more
A woman has more authority in FLRs, so she’ll naturally feel more responsible to solve any issue. She might ask you to let go of bad habits like smoking, drinking, gambling, or procrastinating.
She’s not trying to control you so don’t misunderstand her intentions. Be open to her point of view… because that’s a wise use of authority.
9. Make decisions together
An FLR never says that you’ll ignore the man’s perceptions. So, before you, the woman, make a decision about your relationship… don’t exert it without giving reasons.
Yes, even with authority, communicate your thoughts and reasons. Let your man put forward his thoughts, then reach a final decision.
10. Split the chores wisely
You both must be equally responsible for your household responsibilities and chores. However, if your woman alone earns a living and you’re a full-time homemaker… don’t divide chores equally.
Allot chores proportionally because your partner is already tired from their job, while you’re there at home all day.
But what do women get from FLRs? There are so many responsibilities… So why? Let’s know more here…
Why do women seek a female led relationship?
Those who don’t understand FLRs, they think it’s women’s revenge from the patriarchal society. Or, that it’s an unknown territory so women wanna try it out.
Let’s know the real reasons here…
1. She likes taking the lead
Some women are all-rounders and can handle everything from the kitchen to finances. They either have more knowledge or experience… Thus, they want to use their knowledge in their relationship.
2. She wants to create an ideal man
In FLRs, women get to build the man as per their desires. She can make sure that he knows her expectations. This eventually builds a happier relationship.
3. She doesn’t want a power imbalance
Some women do it for equal power in the relationship. Perhaps, if they don’t earn, they might not get equal rights.
With both partners working equally in the relationship, they make it more peaceful and reduce stress.
4. It’s so that men can focus elsewhere
Some women take charge in and out of the household, so their men can focus on other dreams. Perhaps he wants to establish a business and needs more time and finances to invest in it.
Or, the man wants to focus on his career completely, so the woman takes charge of all the remaining responsibilities. This instills love and understanding in relationships.
5. It’s interesting and women are curious
Since FLRs are on the rise, many women want to try them to test their capabilities. The idea of contributing equally to a relationship piques their interest.
They want a taste of success and to alleviate their partner’s stress so give FLR a shot.
Think a man seeking FLR is a bizarre idea? Let’s know more about it here…
Why do men seek a female led relationship?
If you think that men don’t want anything to do with FLRs, you’re wrong. Men are equally supportive of this idea as each man has his own personal reasons. Let’s know the common ones here…
1. He gets away from tough situations
Relationships and responsibilities go hand in hand. He allows his woman to take the lead so he doesn’t need to make difficult decisions. Also, if anything goes wrong, nobody will blame him.
That sounds selfish, but men have been blamed for ages for not doing things right. It’s not abnormal to have such fear in them.
2. He enjoys more peace
Due to the lack of power imbalance in the relationship, a man gets more peace. He knows his woman is satisfied and won’t feel stressed with the relationship.
He loves his woman just the way she wants and that brings him immense peace.
3. He’s used to being supported
Many men can’t make decisions in their life independently. They might be too dependent on their mother before the relationship. So, they constantly need a female figure to get support.
From the FLR, he gets to depend on a female authority figure. He might have other commitments like a career so he can’t focus on the rest himself.
4. He supports women empowerment
Some men are just feminists to the core. They’re all for women’s empowerment and motivate their women to test their limits.
These men remove their women’s self-doubt and cheer them towards their victory… despite how little or large it is.
5. He wants to make his woman happy
Lastly, some men love their women so deeply that they can’t but allow them to take the lead.
If she wants the relationship that way, he’s all up for it. No Questions Asked! He just wants her happy and lives by that motto. This is a sign of intense faith in relationships.
Men, do you think you got the power in the relationship? Let’s check it from these…
Signs you’re already in a female led relationship
Some men can’t understand whether they’re in an FLR. They think it’s a possible fantasy but no woman has tried it before.
If you’re in a relationship right now, better check these signs… because you might be in one unknowingly…
1. The dishes are your responsibilities
In your relationship, if you always do the household chores right from cooking to doing dishes, cooking, grocery shopping, or any other kitchen responsibility… which is stereotypical of “a female’s job”, this might be your sign.
Whether you’re a homemaker or have a job, your partner expects you to handle some chores.
2. Your partner always makes you wait
Another sign is that you always cook and wait for your partner to return home. The dinner gets cold but she either has too much work or other commitments.
If you wait for your partner every day to have dinner together, she gets you hooked buddy… It’s already an FLR.
3. You get permission before major investments
Does your partner handle the finances alone? Perhaps, you have a joint account and you always ask her before withdrawing money? She’s probably worried that you can’t handle the finances.
If you don’t have free access to the money, this is definitely an FLR.
4. You’re in charge of your own mess
Despite what you do throughout the day, if you’re in charge of your own wellbeing, like clearing your mess by yourself, it’s a sign of an FLR.
Usually, thoughtless men leave their mess behind for their wives. In FLR, you don’t pressurize one another with your responsibilities.
5. Only you pick the kids
If you always take your kids to school, pick them up… always accompany them to their cram school or any other activity… that’s another sign.
Your woman doesn’t have enough time because she’s busy or tired after working hard. So, you always take the children around.
6. She never asks your permission before spending
If your wife is used to spending big cash whether it’s for the household, for the kids, for enjoyment, or anything else… That’s another FLR dynamic.
Your woman is confident that she can handle big money without your help. She doesn’t wanna bother you for simple things either.
7. The kids are more afraid of mom
Traditionally, women always disciplined their children. They scared their child that they’ll tell their father about their naughtiness and he’ll be very angry.
However, if the children are more naughty around you, but fear momma’s anger… that’s a cute FLR sign. Your children clearly love you more.
8. You love coupon clipping
If you’re always on the lookout for discounts and offers while shopping, whether your wife says so or if you do it on your own… This is an FLR.
Possibly, your wife’s economic side rubbed off on you and you want to be more contributing, differently.
9. She doesn’t allow you boys’ outings
If your partner doesn’t let you out with the boys… your woman leads the relationship. She has all the control over your social life.
Perhaps, your woman doesn’t like you mingling with the boys or tells you which boy is bad news or that it’s a waste of money.
10. You hardly entertain yourself
When was the last time your life was about you… not the kids, not your woman, not the household… but just about your enjoyment?
If you can’t remember that, your woman started leading and you didn’t even notice. Your life completely revolves around your relationship.
11. You get allowances
Even though you got a joint account, if she bars you from handling the money independently… and rather gives you allowances… that’s a sign of financial control.
If she restricts your expenses within an allowance but doesn’t apply the same to herself, this is an FLR.
12. You know everything about the household
Men hardly know where the spices and ingredients for cooking are or which detergents will work for which kind of clothing…
However, you know it as if you were born with the knowledge. If this is true, this is undoubtedly an FLR.
13. She makes the weekend plans
On the weekends, if your woman regularly stays busy with plans… whether it’s with you, her family, or her girls, you know she has the power.
She uses her authority to make her life exciting in her way. She doesn’t wait for you to make the plans.
14. You have too many responsibilities
If your day begins with too many responsibilities and ends with as many… or the day passes and you still have too many chores… that’s a sign of FLR right there.
Your wife is too busy to handle the household. So, you take care of everything for her but it never ends.
15. She teaches you how to treat children
Whenever you scold the children, does your wife stop you and ask you to become more level-headed? If she does everything in her will so you treat the child well, you’re in a sweet FLR.
She supports you in caring for the child and shows you the right parenting skills.
16. It’s like living with your mom
Do you feel that you live with your mom? Perhaps she always asks you where you’re going and when you’ll return… or phones you like your mom when you’re late.
If she gives you the motherly vibes whether it’s scolding or loving you tenderly, this is an FLR.
17. You’re at her beck and call
Whenever she calls out to you, do you instantly answer with a “Yes, sweetie?” Does the phrase roll out of your tongue whenever she calls you?
If yes, then you’re quite used to this. You always tend to her needs and prioritize her a lot. Being an old habit, it’s definitely an FLR.
18. You always play along with her
Whenever she asks you a question… whether it’s about doing a chore or simply about your day… Do you always check your partner’s mood before answering?
Perhaps it’s not fear but respect and you don’t want to spoil her mood? If you’re wary of her mood swings, it’s an FLR.
19. She makes you quiet
During a heated conversation, does your partner make you quiet? Perhaps, she knows the convo is going out of hand and she doesn’t want dirty fights.
Or, when you talk to outsiders, does she shush you? Probably because you might let out sensitive info to them? If she’s more careful and practical, it’s an FLR.
20. She wants the CCs in her name
Does she insist on getting all credit cards under her name? And if she convinced you into it, that’s her leading.
Maybe she wants to bear the responsibility to pay it off on her own. It also implies she believes you’ll be more careful with the expenses because she can monitor you.
21. She doesn’t allow boring manly activities
She rules your life and the relationship if your activities depend on her likes. Perhaps, there are certain activities she finds too manly, or in other words “boring”.
She doesn’t let you do it because she can’t partake in them. Though forcibly, she wants to make more memories together.
22. She owns the TV remote
The moment you began dating, did she monopolize your TV and remote? Do you not remember watching anything that she dislikes? Or, maybe she got rid of the channels she doesn’t like?
That’s an FLR right there… your woman is in love with her entertainment and you let her be happy.
23. She doesn’t let you drink
Does she always monitor your drinks? Perhaps, she accompanies you whenever you’re drinking… and you can’t remember the last time you had more than one drink.
If she bosses you around with intoxicating substances, she has the reins. Though a bit exaggerated, she only wants the best for you.
24. She even does family planning
Perhaps, you were content with only one baby. But your wife wanted more… and she didn’t even compromise. If your wife decides how many kids you both want and you follow her lead… that’s an FLR.
You know what makes her day and you give it how she likes it.
25. You’re a klutz
Perhaps you always need her help with everything in and outside the household. Do you feel restless and always need her guidance with things?
If you’re too dependent on her, then you’re in an FLR that you built yourself. Or, maybe she spoon-fed you so much that you always need her.
26. She proposed first
So, let’s go back to the time you guys began. Who made the first move? Who proposed? Who was the first to talk about engagement and marriage?
If it was mostly or always her and she decides when it’s a good time to make the important moves in life… she’s leading.
27. Your wife is like the head office
When your kids ask for anything like getting a new toy, video games, going out with friends, a sleepover, a field trip, or for any kinda permission… Do you usually usher them to mom?
If mom always has the last word, she’s definitely leading everyone.
28. She always drives
Does she feel more comfortable driving herself? Whether you’re drunk or sober, does she feel scared letting you drive? Or, does she like diving so much that she never lets you take the wheel?
If any of it is true, she loves taking the lead and this was always an FLR.
29. You’re always supportive
Do you try to get her everything she wants? Do you want to make it so that she’s the happiest woman in the world? Perhaps, she mentions something and you can’t wait to surprise her with it?
If she’s always in your mind this way, this sure is an FLR.
30. You just want a sound life
Does she get too angry or emotional when things don’t go in her way? Do you follow her lead to keep her calm and sane? Maybe you feel nervous when she’s dissatisfied?
Even if you let her guide just for more peace… that’s also an FLR.
31. You say sorry even if you’re right
Sometimes do you feel that having a rational conversation isn’t possible? Maybe because you can’t tolerate your partner being angry at you?
Even when it’s a misunderstanding, you take the blame because you don’t wanna see her tear-stained or raging face? In FLRs, you might say sorry more often.
32. Even your pets obey her more
Does your pet often listen to her but not you? Do they ignore you and snuggle up to her?
Well, pets have a keen eye to know who the real master is. Perhaps, that’s why they don’t listen to you… even if they know it’s an FLR.
33. You prioritize her family but she doesn’t return the favor
Do you always accompany her to her parties? Do you always socialize with her friends, family, and loved ones? If yes, does she do the same for you?
If you always attended your family and friends’ parties alone, that’s a sign of an unhealthy FLR.
34. You have untold curfews for night outs
When your wife gives you the OK for outings… how long do you get to stay? Do you stay out as long as you’re out? Or, does she want you home by the time she returns?
If you return home fast because she might make a ruckus without you… that’s another FLR sign.
35. She rages about the toilet
When you forget to put down the toilet seat, she argues with you. Since you forget it, you begin peeing with it down. However, you get pee all over and it’s another war.
If you sit down to pee because of similar reasons, that’s your FLR.
36. You’re grateful for her patience
Perhaps, you didn’t know about most household chores. However, now you do it effortlessly because she mentored you in various chores. Right from getting rid of coffee stains to folding sheets, she knows it all.
If you’re also a bit proud because you know so much, this is an FLR.
37. Every item has a rightful place
Do you feel forced to keep everything in a certain order? Perhaps your wife told you which thing goes where and asked you to follow that order.
Do you follow it in the fear of arguments? Do you feel there might be a huge issue otherwise? That’s another sign of an FLR.
38. One day doesn’t suffice for her birth celebration
It’s an FLR through and through if she makes you pamper her… for the entire birth month.
She loves herself way more and feels she deserves all the love you can shower. So, she allows you the chance to make her happy for the entire month.
39. There’s no sports talk around her
Around your woman, you never discuss any sports… unless she’s equally interested in it and begins the conversation herself.
Possibly you can’t even utter sports in front because it’s hell if she pissed off. If you ditched sports for her, it’s FLR!
40. She won’t let you around other women
Perhaps your childhood BFF invited you to their Bachelor’s party… but you know you can’t. They’ll probably have fun with women… and that’s a nope.
Your partner might even rip off your precious parts if you get close to other women. Such thoughts show you’re in an FLR.
41. She gets more oral than you
Oral sex is a wonderful and exciting sexual activity. However, if your partner is more on the receiving side than on the giving, that’s unfair.
But who am I to judge? Perhaps, you do it because you want to please her more… It’s an FLR either way.
42. You hide your porn from her
(Almost) Every man has a precious porn collection… whether it’s magazines or online collections.
However, if you need to hide your collection from her… otherwise she’ll cry or get angry or depressed… that’s enough of a sign that you let her lead. You care, respect, and even fear her a lot.
43. She won’t let online girls threaten her
Sometimes couples check one another’s social media connections. But did she make you stop using social media? Or, blocked your female friends herself?
Perhaps she felt threatened and asked you to deactivate your account? Though extreme, she’s not ready to feel less than anybody because she is the boss.
44. She grooms you before you leave
Whether it’s work or family gathering, she always likes to pick outfits for you. She knows what makes you look the best.
However, if she feels uncertain about your friends, she might make you seem lame because no woman wants others to eye on what’s hers. You love this jealous side of this bossy woman, don’t you?
45. She sticks to you at parties
Your domineering woman does this for two reasons… she won’t take any crazy woman hanging by your side and so you don’t leak out any embarrassing info.
She might even teach you how to avoid some topics… If this rings a bell, then you were in an FLR all along.
46. She doesn’t care about your dislikes
Whether it’s a houseplant, food, or animals, she doesn’t give a damn that you hate it. If she does what pleases her more… and pays less attention to yours, that’s another FLR dynamic.
Try being more verbal if you’re allergic to it. If she still doesn’t listen, that’s too much.
47. You always end up buying what she likes
Perhaps you wanted to get a cool sports car, but she influenced you into buying a regular family car. She probably convinced you with financial matters or she only said that she likes it better.
If you always give in to her choices, you’re in an FLR.
48. She explains stuff to you and kids the same
Whether you have a serious discussion or a light-hearted one… does she always treat you too gently?
Maybe you feel like she’s handling a fragile object while talking to you… or she tries disciplining you like her kids. If you feel like a kid to her, this is no doubt an FLR.
49. She describes you as a fool to others
Does she joke about you to others a lot? Perhaps you feel bad but let it go because she feels good? You’re smitten in love and can’t say anything to her at all.
If you’re ready to put yourself as fodder for jokes to her, you’re in an FLR.
50. You know her period date better
If you have menstrual cycle apps and mark her period dates on your calendar… just to stay extra careful during that time of the month… I guess you’re a wise one!
When you found the secret to a peaceful life, that’s when your FLR began.
If you want an FLR but don’t have one… I understand your desires. So, let’s get down to business here…
How do you establish a female led relationship?
Being a woman, you might find it hard to bring up the topic of FLR.
However, if FLR got your heart, don’t compromise! Follow your heart and let go of social restraints whether you’re a man or woman. Make your way with these simple steps…
1. Choose the right man
To establish an FLR, find a willing partner with similar morals and perceptions on life. Egoistic men won’t accept this, so typical alpha successful men won’t be the right catch.
Look for someone who’s willing to bow, is laid back in life, needs your support, or is generally shy.
2. Make an honest profile
It’s best to express that you’re dominating in your dating profile. This way, only submissive men will approach you. Express how you achieved so much and will do it forever.
Or, mention some favorable characteristics of the men. Don’t complain or badmouth men who don’t like FLR. Keep it short and attractive.
3. Have a one-to-one convo
Discuss before you begin the relationship about your needs and expectations. So, neither of you feels wronged or feigns ignorance later.
4. Take control in bed
Though FLR has no connection with bedroom dominance… it might show them a little trailer. If they’re as sporty outside the bedroom, they won’t mind taking your relationship further.
Moreover, if you like a bedroom power play, this isn’t a bad idea.
5. Don’t be too hasty about marriage
If you wanna get married, discuss financial management, household management and decisions, and social event planning. Only if you’re both on the same page, consider marriage.
Don’t try to control your partner or be controlled. FLR isn’t about control at all… it’s about managing what you’re good at.
Established your relationship? Don’t have the confidence to sustain it? Let’s find the secrets here…
How to make a female led relationship work?
Not just FLR, relationships are hard in every corner of the world. You need lots of dedication, respect, trust, and hope to make it work. Know what to do in FLR here…
1. Understand your goals and share them
What do you want from an FLR? Do you want to be in charge of the finances alone or do you want your partner to also take care of the kids?
What will you control and what do you want them to control? Figure it out when you’re in the dating phase. If you’re into dominance in the bedroom, don’t leave that out either.
Don’t wait for your partner to ask… be the leader you want to be now. Make sure they understand you and reciprocate complementing feelings. If not, that’s a red flag, call it quits.
2. Don’t be too aggressive from the beginning
There are many levels of FLR, so follow the levels. Why? Men aren’t used to FLR so if you come off too strong at them, they’ll misunderstand how it works.
They might mistake it as some sort of advantage taking or abuse, so slow down! Begin with low intensity, know if he’s doing fine with it.
Take consent and increase the intensity. Do it one step at a time so you don’t overwhelm him and shoo him off.
3. Don it with mutual respect
Yes, you’re the boss, the king, the leader… you are dominant in the relationship. However, it doesn’t make your man a slave. He’s a human… just as women are humans in traditional relationships.
If you abuse the relationship dynamics, it won’t work. So, make sure you both are respectful towards one another. Don’t ignore his needs because you’re dominant.
Otherwise, how is it different from the traditional ones? Just that the gender of the abuser and victim changes.
4. Remember it’s about equality, not power reversal
An FLR is better because women know better about bringing order in the family. Women saw enough for centuries and know the struggle inside the household.
They’re more diligent than men in some cases. This is also great because caring is their second nature. So, women work with empathy and strictness… which is a mystical combination to make a perfect relationship.
FLR puts everything back in order and frees society from a dirty power imbalance. Never try to hold your partner back with your power.
5. Discuss with people with similar interests
Since you’re new to this, your foundation is not that strong yet. So, don’t assume anything if you aren’t aware of the idea. Reach out to online communities or people who practice the FLR.
Make sure you discuss it with people who share similar feelings about it and who play similar roles in their relationships.
But it might not work flawlessly all the time. Here’s why!
How can a Female-led Relationship go wrong?
Even the best things in life can go wrong in certain ways. Relationships are always complicated and they may go wrong too.
When two unique hearts mingle in any relationship, something may go wrong eventually. So, let’s see what happens in FLRs…
1. Your man might not like it later
Expectations: A couple finds FLR interesting and they begin it happily. The man just wants to make his partner happy and it works out perfectly.
Reality: The man agrees with the idea. However, he might not feel the same till the end. He might find her expectations excessive and feel pressured.
Men can’t give up their roles completely and follow a new lifestyle. There will be lots of negotiations and dynamic shifting. Your FLR might not be the same as what books describe.
2. You’ll face social judgment
Expectations: You change your relationship dynamics. Your husband stays back home most of the time and society doesn’t have a say because it’s your life.
Reality: Even if it’s your life and society isn’t earning or feeding your family… they’ll still have something to say.
Men get bullied for playing the “wifey”. People gossip that the woman does something shameful to earn money. Women are shamed for not giving motherly love.
Despite what you do, society will always have something to say. Such remarks might sour your thoughts about the relationship… even when your relationship is completely healthy.
3. You might become a caretaker
Expectations: You want to exercise control over your relationship completely or almost completely. You want to experience the happiness of your man satisfying you in different ways… like rearing the children, doing chores, and other responsibilities.
Reality: The men who get it easy slowly become lazy in their life. Instead of trying to satisfy you, he gets a motherly vibe from you… because you’re earning and taking the lead. He doesn’t need to lift a finger outside the home.
He might misinterpret that he can do away without any effort. So, he behaves like a child without worries in the relationship. This completely ruins the relationship.
4. You might be unable to reverse the dynamics later
Expectations: You both continue the FLY and stay content with your life. You don’t want to change your lifestyle as a full-time working woman while your partner is a homemaker.
Reality: Your feelings may change even though FLR is so empowering.
Later, when it’s time to have a baby, your motherly love might make you want to become a homemaker… spend more time with your baby and not miss your child’s firsts.
Your partner may not like the idea because they sacrificed a lot or just because they’re into the FLR. Like you want them to stay true to the deal, they might want the same.
5. It’s so difficult that you might feel hopeless
Expectations: You put up your info on dating apps, find a man, and you’re done! There begins your story of happily ever after.
Reality: There are hardly many men who are into FLR. You might find men who match your personality perfectly, however they back off the moment they know about this idea.
With multiple unmatches, you may start questioning your decision. You’ll wanna step back and enjoy a traditional relationship because everyone else already found happiness in it.
It’s really hard to stay motivated till the end.
But if it’s all that hard, would people really try it? That’s right, there are considerable…
15 Advantages of a Female Led Relationship
Although society is still confused about the pros and cons of a female dominant relationship, those who have experienced it or researched about it point out that there are certain benefits of being in an FLR.
1. Female Led Relationship makes everything more efficient and organized
Let’s be honest – after spending years keeping the home functional and managing every family member’s needs, there is no doubt that a woman is better organized than a man.
It’s not that a man can’t do these things, but they probably can’t be as efficient as a woman.
After all, they had a few centuries to practice it. Also, because women are more sensitive towards the feelings of others, when they are in charge of assigning roles, rest assured that it will be fair and equal.
2. Women know everything
Whether you like it or not, it is true that a woman knows everything. She is aware of how you feel and what is going on in your mind.
She is also aware of what is happening in every nook and corner of her home.
So, when she is in charge, you can be certain that she will get to the root of every problem and fix it, no matter how long and frustrating it gets.
3. Female Led Relationship offers a better communication channel
Women love to talk – about their daily routine, their problems, their achievements. They are also extremely mindful of the emotions and feelings of those around her.
This is why a loving female-led relationship has endless opportunities for partners to communicate their thoughts to one another.
They understand that being silent or shouting for no reason won’t take the relationship anywhere. Thus, they believe in honest and open communication.
4. It allows people to multitask
Undeniably, women kick ass when it comes to multitasking. They can cook for you, put out fresh clothes for you, talk to you about your problems, and feed the cat all at once.
There are women entrepreneurs around the world who run their business, feed their families, keep everyone safe, and ensure the heat never fades away from the bedroom.
As offensive as it may sound, there is no doubt that men are one-directional – they only deal with one thing at a time.
5. Female Led Relationship supports equality
A female-led relationship isn’t necessarily about taking all the power away from a man. It is more about equal distribution of power.
FLR supports the idea that women shouldn’t stay behind when it comes to making decisions and taking charge of their relationship.
Irrespective of whether the man earns more than the woman or not, both partners have equal say in the relationship – gender equality at its finest.
As long as nobody abuses power, it is good to let women dictate certain aspects of the relationship.
6. It allows both parties to not shy away from seeking help
Men always complain that it is tough to keep a woman happy. Well! If you simply allow the woman to be in charge, you wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.
Women can multitask. They can be fair and compassionate. They can communicate. And, unlike most men, she doesn’t hesitate to ask for help.
If she needs you to step in for a while so she can take a break, she will ask for it.
She understands that by consenting to a female-led relationship, you are showing her that you love her and respect her for more than just her physical appearance.
She knows that she can rely on a man who isn’t afraid or reluctant in letting his woman be in charge.
7. Women-led relationships allow men to be vulnerable
Most men are told to be tough and non-emotional as they grow up. This mentality of teaching young boys to stifle their emotions makes them mentally distressed.
This behavior is also harmful because it forces men to be macho and tough, even in their weakest moments.
As a result, they cannot share their problems with their partners or families, and develop mental health problems over time.
With female-led relationships, men have the space to become as vulnerable as they want.
Instead of conforming to societal expectations and acting all masculine without showing a hint of fragility, men in FLRs can be openly emotional without their masculinity being questioned.
FLRs allow men to be vulnerable, show their tender side, and reveal their raw emotions – all without any fear of judgment.
8. Female Led Relationships allow men to free themselves from the pressure
Traditional dating standards expect men to take up all the responsibilities of a relationship. Whether it is paying for the dates, getting their girlfriend or wife flowers and gifts, bearing the expenses for everything, etc.
This creates an imbalance in the relationship, and even though most men do not complain about it, it does make them feel financially crippled.
In fact, it is one of the most unfair things that the dating culture perpetuates.
Men who are tired of feeling pressured by these traditional standards will benefit immensely from FLRs. This is because, in a female-led relationship, they do not have to spend a lot of money to seek the approval of a woman.
Because of the fact that women-led relationships are garnered towards equality for both men and women in every aspect of the relationship, they allow men to get free of all the social pressure related to dating.
9. It allows women to develop into the person she wants to be
Due to the traditional nature of modern-day relationships, most women are stifled by society and an expectation to stay one rung below the man.
In a female-led relationship, the woman is supported unconditionally by the man she loves.
FLRs allow women to define their own identity without any pressure from society or anyone else. With this freedom, she can overcome any problem, feel her own power, and become her own person.
Women with a supportive spouse can dream bigger, and achieve more in life because they are not suffocated by someone else’s idea of who they should be.
FLRs put women in a position where they can bloom on their own with the love and support of their partner.
10. Female Led Relationship allows both parties to pay more attention to their needs
A couple that is engaged in a female-led relationship is capable of paying more attention to their needs.
This is because the man is freed from the expectation of being the breadwinner, and the woman does not have to live up to the ideals or expectations set up by society.
This change in dynamic results in both parties feeling more free to be themselves without any traditional notions barging in.
This, in turn, leads to more attentiveness towards their own needs by both the men and the women.
Additionally, FLRs take off the responsibility from the shoulders of both the partners. The man no longer worries about pleasing his woman, and the woman does not have to think about leading the family unit to success anymore.
Both of them share a common perspective and lead each other towards success, happiness, and satisfaction.
11. Sex becomes way better than before
When a woman feels respected and a man feels loved, both of them share a deeper and harmonious connection than before.
They both feel passionate about one another and sex naturally becomes way better and more satisfying in the relationship. Sex in turn also boosts intimacy between the two.
12. Men get to appreciate women
Women are beautiful and strong beings. A man wants to explore his woman’s different sides but he doesn’t get it in traditional relationships. FLR shows him how worthy his wife is and he gets to appreciate her entirely in her glory.
13. Important decisions won’t delay
In traditional relationships, important decisions are delayed because women gotta get permission from men. However, when the women get the authority, they get to take charge and follow their instincts on it.
For instance, either of the couple’s parents is sick and needs an immediate money transfer for treatment. The woman can take the right action faster and ease the situation.
14. Women can build the ideal man
There’s no perfect human being in this world, leave alone the idea of an ideal person. In FLR, a woman gets to teach the man exactly what she needs for happiness.
She gets to build the man block by block. She also gets to motivate him to quit bad habits and convince him to live a better life. This idea is thrilling and fulfilling to many women.
15. Women give the maternal love the men need
Men need loads of love though they aren’t verbal about it. An all-rounder woman in a man’s life can fill in such desires.
Many men who yearn for maternal love… either due to the absence of their mother or due to a detached parent figure… will get exactly what he desired for so long. This makes him feel fulfilled, loved and cared for. This also helps them build good humans and good fathers.
Everything good comes with slight downsides. So, let’s dive deeper into them…
5 Disadvantages of Female Led Relationships
Every relationship has some cons that can emerge if it is allowed to run free. Here are some disadvantages of FLRs:
1. Female Led Relationships can turn into power struggles
A loving FLR can very quickly become a disaster if nobody sets boundaries. The idea behind a female-led relationship is to avoid a power struggle and experiment with something new.
While giving all that power to women is amazing, you must keep in mind that not everybody is capable of making the best use of what they have. It is important that dominance doesn’t get the best of them.
Indeed, if the power struggle becomes too intense, it can lead to a lot of distress for both parties.
Due to the fact that our society has some very clear notions of the role men and women play in relationships, a Female-led relationship can seem like something completely against your instincts.
Couples that are not mentally prepared for this kind of change in dynamics can quickly become frictional and even hostile towards each other.
2. It may make it difficult for men to develop into homemakers
You must also understand that men may not be as good at multitasking and household chores as women.
It isn’t their fault, but they weren’t raised into such a notion. Thus, even when they try their best, they may need a lot of practice before perfecting the role of a homemaker.
Again, this comes down to instinct. Most men do not have these instincts. Forcing a man into this kind of situation can only result in disaster.
3. Unhealthy boundaries can lead to a change in dynamics
If boundaries aren’t defined and roles aren’t clear, FLR can soon start to look like a mother-son relationship. All that pressure can be extremely stressful for a woman while the man may feel hesitation in speaking up about his thoughts.
This change in dynamics can ultimately become too stressful for the relationship to handle.
4. If the woman grabs too much power, it can lead to an imbalanced relationship
Furthermore, to ensure that the relationship works smoothly, the woman must balance everything and allow her man to contribute his ideas and thoughts.
Both partners should make decisions together, and respect should be of utmost importance in the relationship.
5. Female Led Relationship can lead to loss of personal identities
If the woman has a perfectionist streak, she may struggle to have some clear boundaries.
Overly indulging in perfecting her role, many women in an FLR have a tendency to lose their true selves. But this is not limited to women – even a man can lose his real self if he is always trying to keep up with his wife.
This loss of identity will not be quick either. It happens gradually and over a long period of time.
Couples who are new to FLR, should, therefore, observe changes in their behavior carefully, to prevent any resentment and regrets in the future.
While you may be open to trying something new, the same can’t be said about your family and society. You may have to face negative comments and disrespectful remarks from society as well as your loved ones. This could easily hamper a relationship, if not handled cautiously.
Wondering if FLR will ever suit you? Find your answers here…
Is a female led relationship for you?
FLRs are for you if you both can communicate honestly, are open-minded, supportive of one another, and are ready to let go of traditional ways.
FLRs though empower and flourishes equality, it might not be everyone’s cup of tea. It might be suitable for you if you both communicate openly and…
For women: If you’re not bound to traditional values, are open-minded to support your partner and take on all burdens like finance, job, etc.
For men: If you don’t mind your woman taking the lead, don’t pay attention to society’s opinions, want to honestly please your woman, and don’t want to take advantage of the situation only.
But sometimes, finding the perfect partner is hard. So, let’s find the route to your partner through…
Female led relationships dating sites
If you wanna find a mate who’s interested in FLR, I understand, not everyone is open to such ideas.
You may simply be more upfront in your Tinder bio to express what you’re into. However, if you want better and quicker matches, consider these…
1. She Makes the Rules
This dating site promises you a plethora of features. With premium membership, they also offer a customized dating order.
2. Plenty of Fish
This free website helps you connect with other people who are also interested in FLR.
3. Loving FLR
This one is a paid matchmaking website. It shows you custom ads and lets you find low-intensity FLRs.
If you wanna know more from professionals, indulge in these…
Female led relationships books
If understanding FLR is hard, many authors already cracked open this tough cookie for you.
Whether it’s possible for you, how to cope with social stigma, or how to treat your partner, the charismatic authors already have it ready for you here…
1. Love & Obey: The World’s Best Female Led Relationship Guide (Marisa Rudder)
The author hopes that the world will be a more beautiful and superior place when women run it. She dedicated this book to all the women who aspire to take charge.
She explains how respect and kindness is important if a woman wants complete obedience from her man.
2. Real Men Worship Women: A Gentleman’s Guide to Loving & Obeying Women (Marisa Rudder)
The author teaches men how to attract independent and dominant women. She shows how FLRs aren’t to suppress men but they can thrive equally in this world.
This is the secret to pleasing an FLR loving woman. You’ll also learn to realize many sexual fantasies if you respect your woman how she wants.
3. Queendom: The Ultimate Guide to a Female Led Relationship (Marisa Rudder)
Many people confuse femdom and FLR but FLR is more than just bedroom play. The author shows the difference and roots for women to stick to their grounds and their needs… even when society expects too much from them. She breaks through many gender biases with proper reasoning.
4. Mommy’s in Charge: How to Raise Kids in a Female Led Family (Marisa Rudder)
FLRs don’t just stop with two people in the relationship. Children soon join in the dynamics and somehow it becomes hard for women to balance both work and her children’s longing for her. This book teaches you how to convey why your family is different from most.
5. Female Led Relationship Guide: How to Be a Femdom and Have the Perfect Female Domination Domestic Discipline Marriage Or Relationship (Conner Hayden)
The author explained the detailed benefits of FLRs. It also answers many uprising questions among women and men who want to try out this dynamic but are uncertain.
The author makes sure that every woman out there gets the perfect push to seek the relationship of her dreams.
6. Turning Point: Love & Obey Female Led Affirmations (Marisa Rudder)
This is an advanced-level book for those who have already begun and practiced FLR for quite a while.
However, I feel unsure because of society’s remarks or just uncertainty down the road. This is the perfect confidence booster for both men and women.
7. How to Love a Powerful Woman: The Gentleman’s Guide to Loving Female Led Relationships (Te-Erika Patterson)
Many men feel uncertain about supporting strong women because of social expectations. The author aids the men who want to tread on this path but feel shy and afraid of the world.
This also helps others understand why people who are into FLR are completely normal.
8. How to Set Up an FLR: A Couple’s Guide to Female Led Relationships (Georgia Ivey Green)
If you’re already married and you and your partner both feel interested in FLR, this book is the best way to share some quality couple time and learn the new lifestyle together. It teaches couples to cope with social stigma and other roadblocks together.
9. A Modern Couple’s Guide to Female-Led Relationships (Mistress Dede)
In this book, the author clarifies the myths and misunderstandings about FLRs. The author also supports the fact that FLR isn’t a thing for everyone, so people’s ways to show love may differ.
The book expresses that the term though uncommon, FLRs were always around.
10. A Woman’s Guide to a Female Led Relationship (Victoria West)
The author hits the spot of many women who have had enough of their inattentive lovers and want to make a life for herself.
The book expresses how kinky sex is only a very small part of FLR and how men need to know the reality of FLR.
Since FLRs are so new, it’s bound to make you more curious. So, let’s check these…
FLR is confusing not because it’s new, but because the term is new. FLR was always around, but since the introduction of the term, people have become more confused.
Relationships work on your feelings of love, care, and respect. FLR is not beyond it but still, there are many questions like these…
The modern woman is tired of gender roles, being neglected, and seeking validation. They want to explore the world and break stereotypes.
Similarly, they support men who want to engage in household chores and child-rearing responsibilities themselves. For the modern woman, such a man is more attractive than the macho man who leads.
Women are willing to date someone who’s ready to take over the household.
Emasculation is a concept of traditional relationships. However, it can also be a concept in FLRs. It can happen if a man slacks off in his duties either in traditional relationships or FLR.
So, a man who can’t behave like a household leader or a man who can’t stick to his promises in FLR… both face the same threat.
A woman will love and respect her man if he is there for her, actively supports her the way she desires, and stays productive, and helpful… just as women did for centuries.
Though women want freedom and empowerment, they want pampering and protection too. Both men and women are human beings that have humane needs.
Society connected leadership with a lack of conventional desires. So, women shy away from FLR.
Women also want relief from time to time and expect someone to earn a living and provide for her. She may simply need some time to rejuvenate until she fights again.
Moreover, women find FLR tiresome because the children long more for motherly support… and she just doesn’t have the energy after a long day.
Though she faces similar drawbacks in MLR, it is far more exhausting in FLRs.
Sometimes women turn away from FLR solely because men expect them to be equally dominant in the bedroom… but the two don’t have any connection at all.
There aren’t many web communities for FLR just yet. Mainly because the idea didn’t gain much popularity. However, many people are already leading an FLR without even knowing what it is.
If you wanna try FLR just for hotter sex, then it’s time to know FLR doesn’t equate with kinky sex. It’s a lifestyle full of different responsibilities and not just your bedroom dynamics. So, if you’re ready to find someone and take responsibility, check these free websites
– FLR Style ( flrstyle.com)
– Loving FLR Communities (lovingflr.com)
Men are usually brought up with only manly responsibilities. Hardly any male grows up knowing how to cook (unless they had to cook for themselves), how to care for children (unless they had younger siblings), or any other responsibilities for the household.
This can result in a potential problem in FLR. However, if the pair loves one another, the female takes enough time to teach the male, and the male diligently learns, FLR is possible in no time.
When experimenting with female-led relationships, it is important to keep in mind that the main objective is to break away from the stereotype and give equal power and significance to men and women.
No one should get an upper hand and feel entitled. Respect and love should be mutual. When all these conditions are met, you can enjoy a perfect relationship.
Are you interested to know more about ‘The Best Bedtime Stories for Girlfriend’ then click here?
Namrata is a Clinical Researcher and a Dentist. She likes reading novels, books, and anything she could get her hands on since her childhood, she embarked into a writing career purely out of luck. After indulging in a freelancing writing career for nearly three years, she writes from dentistry to decor, travel to technology, but the psychology remains her first love. She hopes to raise awareness for the mental health and helps people with her work in association with ThePleasantRelationship team.