Wondering how a committed relationship works? Unsure whether you’re already in one? Or, do you want one but your partner doesn’t?
Ahhh I understand the confusion. Commitment is a heavy topic and everyone isn’t as willing to accept it. Don’t feel so sad, because many partners feel unsure at this point.
However, if you don’t want to commit but your partner wants, I’ll also support you through this journey. In my think-piece, despite which side you belong to, I’ll show you ways to commit to your precious soulmates.
So, let’s not drop a beat and thrive with commitment…
Committed Relationship Meaning
A committed relationship is where both partners promise a future full of love, trust, and care to each other. However, the meaning of commitment differs from couple to couple.
In a committed relationship, partners mutually promise one another their love, trust, honesty, support, kindness, and faith. Commitment in a relationship makes both partners feel secure and in control of their relationship.
However, several times people don’t understand that commitment isn’t always the promise to be in a monogamous relationship.
For instance, in a couple, commitment implies emotional exclusivity and an emotional affair is their dealbreaker. But they don’t think sexual exclusivity is necessary and even have a few sexual partners.
The other thinks flirting with someone else is a dealbreaker and emotional infidelity isn’t a big deal. Such a couple will soon part ways due to clashing opinions and perceptions.
There are different levels of commitment, so it’s important to talk and figure out how you define commitment.
For some commitment means spending time together in person, planning future milestones together, being supportive, willing to compromise, and being romantically and sexually exclusive.
Many assume exclusivity and commitment are the same but it’s truly not. So, if you’re wondering how they differ, check this…
Exclusive relationship vs Committed relationship
In an exclusive relationship you only promise to not see anyone outside the relationship. In a committed relationship, you may promise to be exclusive (it usually is) and you also aim to stay together for the long run.
Most women believe that being exclusive partners means you’re also committed partners and both partners will stay loyal and put effort into the relationship.
Some men believe going exclusive means you won’t have romantic, sexual, or even emotional affairs outside the relationship. They say there are fine lines between both.
In exclusivity, one partner may spend time with their family and the other stays home and doesn’t go out to seek sexual or romantic partners.
In commitment, when both partners spend time at that family party. So, commitment enters the equation slowly when they know one another’s bad sides and decide to stay together.
In one word, exclusivity is being in a relationship without any flirting and cheating. When you’re ready to commit, you show love and stay.
Your lives become intertwined to the point that you’re always one another’s priority.
Curious if you’re already in a committed relationship? Let’s figure it out here…
Signs of a committed relationship
Unless couples start off with a casual or open relationship, they don’t have the commitment talk. So, you might naturally feel uncertain about your partner’s intentions in the relationship.
Though people usually assume their partners are committed, it’s never a wise move.
It may lead to major heartbreaks if couples don’t verbally assure one another about their feelings. So, if you’re worried, check for these signs in your relationship…
1. You magnify one another’s positives
Each person in this world has their personal set of perks and flaws. In your relationship, does your partner know of these sides? If they do, how do they react to them?
A sign of being in a committed relationship shows that your partner will always focus on your positives. They’ll be well aware of your imperfections but they won’t make a big deal out of them.
Though some might romanticize their partner’s bad qualities, we don’t mean those. You’re committed to one another if neither of you magnifies on minor flaws.
2. Your language changes from You and I to “We”
When you’re not sure or as invested in a relationship, you refer to yourselves as “me” and “him/her”. Subconsciously, you don’t dare to use “we/us/our” in such situations.
When you’re committed to one another, both of your languages change. So, if you’re in one, you use “we” a lot but this change in vocabulary doesn’t happen magically.
Like “We went shopping yesterday” or “we made steak last night.” As you notice, it happens when you both show signs of commitment and acknowledge one another consciously or subconsciously. Deep inside you know you’re a team.
3. You satisfy one another’s needs
If you’re committed partners, you’ll always pay attention to one another and learn each other’s needs in the relationship. You both put effort to make the relationship work with minute needs and desires.
For instance, you may want more space for yourself, your partner may have different sexual needs. Even though you have different or clashing needs, if you make it work, that’s another great sign of commitment.
It shows how much you want to make your partner feel good and their comfort and joy matter to you. If you both do the same, you’ll feel immense joy and happiness with one another.
4. The relationship satisfaction is bomb
This sign is in connection with the last one. When you put lots of effort into your relationship and satisfy your partner, a sense of accomplishment will engulf you.
On the contrary, when your partner follows suit on a regular basis, you feel loved and cherished by them. This also makes them content and the mutual joy boosts the satisfaction factor in your relationship.
When you feel satisfied, you want to commit or you commit to them even without verbally establishing that you’re committed to one another.
Your emotions and feelings are so much in sync that words aren’t enough to express them.
5. Neither of you checks out others
You both are attractive and capable. Being in a relationship doesn’t imply you won’t encounter other potential mates. Some might even try to flirt with you aggressively and convince you to leave your relationship.
However, if you both can’t bother to care about such distractions, you’re committed partners. Leave flirting and cheating, you might not even notice others. Only one person catches your eyes and vice versa.
This also shows that you both feel that you’re enough for one another and are ready to commit for the long haul.
6. You both are ready to give up everything
Sounds so cheesy, but sacrificing nature is another good sign of commitment. If you both make sacrifices for one another willingly and don’t keep a scoreboard or expect them to return your favor, that’s a green signal.
However, everyone has expectations, so even if your partner doesn’t want you to pay them back, they hope you will when the time comes. After all, a relationship is always a two-way road.
But above all, you don’t have specific motives to do one another favors. You do because you want to and it feels good to cherish one another.
7. You mostly spend time with your partner
When you’re in a committed relationship, you’re one another’s go-to companion for everything. However, don’t expect your partner to give up their social life to prove they’re committed to you.
Partners naturally feel that they want to share most time with one another. On days when you can’t spend time doing anything fancy or go out on dates, they laze around in their living room or porch together.
However, if you’re in a long-distance relationship, don’t think that this attribute is missing.
Even then, couples try to spend the most time together by staying connected via text, phone calls, and video calls.
8. You’re no longer the obsessed sicko
In every relationship, the initial phase is full of excitement and obsession. You feel a rush of nervousness when you see them and feel dreamy.
In short, you feel infatuated and romanticize them in the honeymoon phase. They’re always on your mind rent-free.
With time, this infatuation fades away and you notice that the person isn’t what you initially assumed. You understand that they’re human too and you don’t need to go gaga over them.
You become so comfortable around them and even without the obsessive behavior, you’re still in love. If you don’t feel they’re still amazing beyond the honeymoon phase, you’re committed.
9. You both are always there for each other
In a healthy relationship, reciprocity is important. Though you mustn’t keep a scoreboard ever, think about who checks in with the other more? Who texts first more?
When they’re in a sticky situation, how frequently do you help out? Compare that to vice versa.
If you both try to reach out and support one another equally, that shows commitment to blooming in your bond.
However, also consider other factors like hectic schedules and other issues to avoid misunderstanding them. If they’re too busy then it’s not possible to always connect but they’ll try to make time in between.
10. You shop for one another
When you’re in a new relationship, you wanna impress your partner with fancy gifts. But don’t confuse that as a sign of commitment.
In a stable and committed bond, you naturally shop for your partner’s necessities. You know their requirements because you’re perceptive about them.
You mentally note when they mention something and the next time you visit the supermarket, you pick up what they need and vice versa.
These might include something like shaving gels, cereals, socks, or any basic necessities which aren’t romantic yet thoughtful. It shows how you keep one another in mind at every step of your life.
11. The honesty is booming
A committed relationship requires extreme honesty and there’s no place for farce. When you’re in mutual love, you understand that you don’t need to pretend to be someone else.
You can be yourself and they’ll accept you completely. When you feel offended about something in the relationship, you don’t hesitate to ask them.
You comfortably put forward what your needs because you know a minor disagreement or difference in choice won’t lead to a breakup.
You both understand one another’s intentions and work for it. If it’s otherwise, you won’t feel comfortable staying honest.
12. You have many future plans together
If you’re committed, you also keep your future milestones in mind. For instance, you guys might plan for a dream house and work on saving together for it.
You’ll have serious conversations on how to save or invest and grow your returns for a more secure future. It might also be engagement, marriage, or family plans.
If you didn’t reach that stage yet, it might be as little as a family introduction. You’re deeply involved in one another’s life and hopes about future endeavors.
A sweet sign of commitment is when you change some plans just for them.
13. You fight to stay not vice versa
Whether it’s your relationship or your parents’, despite how perfect a couple is, problems will exist because both parties are unique individuals.
One of the crucial signs of commitment is your reaction during or after a fight. Do either of you keep blaming the other for days? If no, then that’s your green signal.
When you’re ready to commit, you won’t easily let go of one another. You don’t think of breaking up whenever situations become thorny. Even if it hurts, you fight with the negative times and make it out of it together.
14. You know one another’s folks
In a relationship, the greatest deal breaker is when you’re dating for a while but your partner still doesn’t introduce you to their family and friends.
It feels as though you don’t exist in their social circle at all. Suspicions like “Maybe he wants to keep his options open” arise and affect the relationship.
So, if you’re committed, you’ll know or at least get introduced to one another’s friends and family.
You’re part of the inner gang and might even have group dates with them. This is like an unofficial seal of acceptance into their life.
15. Emotions are more important than sex
Sex is an important part of a relationship, but in a committed relationship, it won’t be the only factor. Though it was the highlight of your relationship initially, it soon takes the second position when your bond matures.
If you feel ready to bond emotionally and not just have sexual fun, you’re both committed. Both of your definition of “intimate relationship” includes more than just sex.
If you both seek excuses to show love and affection and indulge in all types of intimacy together, that’s the proof of your commitment to one another.
16. You have their home keys
Your home is your safe haven and only limited people like your best friend and family have access to this place.
When your partner entrusts you with their spare keys or lets you know under which pot you’ll find the spare one, you’re headed to the commitment zone.
They won’t allow anyone in their safe space and you’re definitely a special soul they want for the long run.
Of course, another sign is when you move in together. They share their space with you because they’re comfortable and you’re an inseparable part of their life.
17. You spend vacations together
You can go on a date with a person you met on Tinder, but what about a vacation? You go on dates to have fun for a few hours, while vacations are to relax in a new place for days.
If you both went on vacations together, you’re pretty deeply in love and ready to spend your whole day with them. It also shows that you can relax in their presence.
Further, you’ll spend loads of money and make memories worth a lifetime… it shows that you both are ready to remember one another forever. This is a beautiful and pure sign of commitment.
18. You spilled your secrets
You can’t confide your darkest and deepest secrets even to your family members. Everyone fears sharing their vulnerabilities and insecurities as they fear someone will take advantage of them.
So, if you can share your painful past experiences without hesitation or can bare your wounds in front of them, you already think of them as someone close.
Even if you’re unsure about them as a lover, you trust them deeply with your life and secrets which is a step towards commitment. If they also share such secrets, that’s the icing on the cake!
19. You can keep babbling with them endlessly
How much can you confide in a casual partner? At some point, you run out of things to talk about… because you can’t let them in on every single story… some are just too personal to share.
However, if your heart is already committed to them, you won’t ever run out of topics. Instead, if you can’t talk to them throughout the day, you run out of time because the stories never end.
Of course, a conversation can’t be one-sided, so you both can expend lots of energy talking for long hours. You don’t just devote that much energy to someone unless you’re seriously committed.
20. You’re way past the DTR
If you’re in a committed relationship, a sure shot sign is referring to one another boyfriend-girlfriend in front of others. You crossed the “Define the Relationship” phase a long time back.
You don’t just take them out to meet your friends and family, you also tell them “This is my girlfriend” or “I’m dating him”. Or, you randomly tell your friends “My boyfriend went to work…” and much more trivial things where you show off you’re serious.
This shows how proud you’re to tell the world that you own one another. It also shows how you’re ready to begin a new phase and you aren’t ambiguous about it at all.
21. You don’t need to do anything exciting
In casual relationships, you meet one another to go clubbing, try out new cafés, go for comedy nights, hit the fairs, and do anything that makes you excited.
However, it’s only an excuse to spend time together with a casual partner without the awkward silence. On the other hand, in committed relationships, you’ll not look around for sources of entertainment to hang out with.
Instead, you lose interest in going out completely because you want to spend time cuddling or playing with their hair while watching your favorite show. You don’t even search around for conversation topics during such nights.
22. You know how they brighten up your life
You know pretty well that you’re independent and need nobody in your life. However, you feel that your partner makes your life more fun. Your life was already great but they’re like the rainbow to your clear sky.
You feel great because you have someone to return to at the end of the day. You can vent out your feelings good or bad and sleep with a lighter heart.
Though you won’t perish without them, you know that having them as your ally soothes your heart mysteriously… If this sounds like you, it’s a committed relationship.
23. You’re plenty for yourself, but they bring in more
Many people think you need love to be happy. Though that’s true, they forget that you can love yourself and be happy. They feel that if their beau leaves them, their life will crumble down.
Some put themselves in an inferior position in the relationship because of such thoughts. If you’re the same, your partner won’t accept that when commitment exists.
They’ll convince you that you’re enough for yourself and your happiness. In committed relationships, couples uplift one another and show them their worth.
You understand that your partner may not be your source of happiness, but they’re still something important.
24. You’re secure with their support
When you reach the commitment grounds, you’ll always know that even if the entire world misunderstands you, your partner won’t. They’ll always support you and that mental peace pushes you to reach the pinnacle.
If you need someone to hug, they might not be there immediately, but they’ll reach you by the end of the day. Even long-distance, they’ll ring you up to make sure you’re fine.
You know that if you’ll make a life-changing decision, they’ll support you and lead you to your goals. You might even say you got a cheerleader just for yourself.
25. If you have kids, they know them
If you’re a single parent and started dating, you must be pretty protective of your children. You don’t want your kids to tag along in your journey of potential heartbreaks.
You won’t introduce a partner to them who isn’t serious about you or vice versa. You can’t take the risk of your children bonding with them and later getting hurt because they left you.
So, being a single parent, if you already introduced your date to your kids… or if you met their kids, you know things are pretty serious. You already said “I do” in your heart.
26. You made news on their social media
In the modern era, people change their relationships faster than ever.
So, even when you date someone for a long time, you won’t want to touch your FB relationship status because of too much drama!
If you don’t work out for some reason, that’s another pain in the a$$ to change it back to single.
However, if your partner changed their online relationship status and they don’t usually post updates, they’re down! You mean the world to them and they showed it to the world. It’s the same if it’s from your side.
If they post every single activity of their day, that’s not a special sign at all.
27. You’re comfortable about gross bodily stuff
This is stupid but couples in the early stages of their relationship don’t want their partners to know they have a humane body.
Partners fear taking a dump because it’ll stink or they’ll make obvious noises. Even if you deny it, I know you were like that too.
So, when you feel comfy to speak about your diarrhea or gastric issues with them, you’re much more than casual dates. Such private convos are only saved for special close ones.
If you both feel as comfortable, your commitment is mutual.
28. You don’t mind sharing passwords
If you’re both completely loyal to one another, you won’t have any issue sharing your passwords. Of course, this also takes a lot of trust and security. So, for the ones that didn’t exchange your passwords, this isn’t an infidelity sign.
However, if your partner shares their pin and passwords to their social media accounts (not bank accounts, that’s too much to ask!), they trust you and know you’ll not exploit their trust.
Casual partners who don’t want long-term relationships can’t do it as it risks them being caught flirting or cheating.
29. Going out of your way isn’t hard
When you go out of your way to please them, what are your thoughts? Do you feel “Aww man, I don’t wanna go again!” or do you happily oblige?
When you run an errand for your partner or change your plans because they’re sick, if you don’t feel irritated, you already accepted them much deeper than you think.
After being drenched in the rain, if you allow them to use the shower first, you love them a lot. They’re an irreplaceable part of your life and such feelings are signs of commitment.
30. Your decisions include one another
Another sure-fire sign is when you make life decisions based on your partner’s circumstances.
Suppose, your pet lover partner makes sure to not leave a trace of dog fur while meeting you because you’re allergic.
When you plan a vacation, do you check their schedule just to include them in the plan? Or, when they go out, do they inquire if you’ll need anything?
If yes, it shows that you’re devoted and always look out for one another. Nobody, other than your loved ones, will ever be so considerate.
31. They’re always available for you
When you’re troubled and seek them, how do they respond to you? Do they always make excuses about work and bailout? Or, do they try to get back to you by the end of the day?
Suppose you’re sick and they have a night out planned prior, what do they do? Do they ask you to call over a friend and care for you?
If they stay back to support you through your difficulties and prioritize your issues over minor engagements, they’re committed to you.
However, don’t misunderstand them if they have to leave for a serious work appointment… that’s their career… their source of livelihood.
32. You listen to each other wholeheartedly
An important sign of commitment in relationships is when couples listen to one another actively. Active listening includes more than just lending an ear.
You’ll try to understand your partner’s feelings and hear them without any reservations or prejudice. You don’t try to suppress their voice with your own stories of similar experiences.
You know that they need to vent. If you want to advise them at all, you do it once they’re done to make them feel respected and to create apt advice.
If you both behave like this, you’re committed from the bottom of your hearts.
33. You keep the holidays for one another
On your common days off from work, whether the weekends or major holidays like Christmas, Halloweens or New Year, who’s your go-to person to spend them?
If you always stay back with your partner on major occasions and others need to make engagements to meet you on days, that’s a great level of commitment.
It also shows that you’re one another’s priority and perceives one another as your closest person in the entire world.
Even if you get invited somewhere else, you’ll always take one another as your plus one.
34. You know one another’s favorites
Another subtle sign of a committed relationship is when you both know one another’s tastes. From their pet peeves to their guilty pleasures, you’ll know it all.
You know exactly how they like their steak cooked, how much sugar they want in their coffee, what’s their optimal aircon temperature, what they’re picky about… almost every crucial thing.
Perhaps, they also learned to make your favorite lasagne and surprise you when you’re craving it.
35. You never feel jealous of one another’s social lives
In a committed relationship, you’ll feel secure as one another’s significant other. You know that you don’t need and can’t spend all the time in the world together.
You both have your own circle and sometimes mingle one on one without your partner.
Committed partners won’t make a huge fuss out of the other’s socializing. They won’t try to manipulate their partner as they understand the importance of space.
If you don’t pry into one another’s social lives out of jealousy and suspicion, your bond is much deeper.
Did you not match with enough signs? Still, feeling anxious about the commitment factor? Well, make sure if the situation is otherwise here…
Signs you’re not in a committed relationship
Every couple and their definition for commitment differ, so you may not match with all the signs of commitment. However, that doesn’t imply you’re not committed to one another.
Don’t assume the worst without any solid proof or signs. To make sure that you’re not in the commitment zone, compare with these…
1. You’re low on self-esteem
If you suffer from low self-esteem, you may think that you’re not enough for your partner. You feel you can’t provide for them or cover up for their flaws and hate yourself for that.
If you’re dissatisfied with your capabilities and achievements and magnify your flaws, you’ll make a big deal out of your insecurities. However, this is a very common reason behind commitment issues.
Just as they say you can’t love another person if you don’t love yourself. In this case, it’s normal for anyone to be unable to commit to a relationship.
2. You’re hung up on your ex
If either of you still misses your ex, that’s also another obvious reason to be commitment-averse. Possibly, your current partner is just a rebound.
You want to forget about them using your current partner or live your old fantasies and dreams with them. You possibly imagine your ex beside you when you spend time with your current partner.
In case either of you didn’t take enough time to heal from your previous relationship, you might not be in a committed relationship.
3. It’s not actually LOVE!
Sometimes, people can’t understand the difference between love and infatuation. Even if someone tells you that you’re mistaken, you’ll only get angrier and not understand their point.
Either of you may mistake your feelings for the other, but don’t really love the other. Due to such misinterpretation of your feelings, you may end up with the wrong person.
In this case, if your partner is the infatuated one, it’s better to not force them into committing or falling in love yourself. They can’t commit as they don’t have strong feelings.
4. You have more important engagements
In some cases, you or your partner might not want to commit to a relationship purposely due to other commitments.
Probably, your partner needs to focus on their career, has tight schedules, travels a lot, or plans to settle down somewhere they won’t.
If you guys have clashing goals in life, you obviously can’t commit. A committed relationship needs a great amount of compromise and if that toys around with your highest priority – professional life, independence, or freedom – then you won’t easily commit.
5. You fear commitments
People label whoever can’t or doesn’t commit as commitment-phobic. However, this isn’t a casual term to throw about at anyone that doesn’t wanna get serious.
This is a real phobia and might be linked with deep and dark underlying issues like past trauma from unhealthy relationships with their caregiver, friends, or romantic relationships.
They need serious medical attention to work on their withdrawing nature. They might even ghost you if you pressure them to commit.
They feel anxious and have immense fear even if someone refers to them as their partner.
If you matched with most of the signs, I’m deeply pained. However, understand that you can’t build a committed relationship fast. So, let’s know what happens before you build one here…
Stages of a committed relationship
You can’t enter a committed relationship or commit to your relationship overnight. Commitment needs bottomless trust, loyalty, and acceptance and you require time for both.
However, by the time you both completely commit to a relationship, you experience lots of ups and downs. If you’re curious about how it happens and which stage you’re in, follow these…
1. Romantic love
The kind of lively and spontaneous love media portrayed in television and movies is romance or romantic love. You feel loved and passionate for one another. You feel like you’re two bodies and one soul.
You constantly seek more attention and think about one another more. You focus more on your similarities and ignore the differences.
In this phase, you’re infatuated with your partner, so you idealize one another and think your partner can never be wrong.
This stage has the shortest span and might last from 6 months to 2 years.
2. The dawn of realization
In this phase, the infatuation slowly wanes. You understand that you’re both human beings with flaws and have many differences. You have conflicts and even feel your partner deceived you.
You realize your differences when you try to take an important relationship decision like marriage, moving in, finance management, or chores distribution.
You get to know one another from up close and see how flawed you both are.
You feel your precious dreams to lead a perfect life are false or even experience denial. You want to get close to your partner, but you can’t because they aren’t the one you thought them to be. The actual relationship begins here.
3. The power struggle
Since the last stage, disagreements increase and you even can’t handle small issues. Unhealthy dynamics like yelling, blaming, and stonewalling enter the relationship.
You both struggle to be right and be the powerful ones in your relationship. You may even harbor breaking up because you think they’re selfish and untrustworthy.
Excess resentment and doubts sabotage the relationship from the core. However, this is when a couple must learn to listen, communicate, negotiate, and solve issues, and only then can you move forward.
4. The review
If your relationship survives the last stage, you may begin assessing your respective fears, hopes, and expectations from the relationship.
You think through your decisions carefully like whether you’re with the right person, or whether you want to continue. Since you know one another’s boundaries and limits, you’ll have honest answers.
Couples may emotionally separate in this phase and even get involved in sexual and emotional affairs which make reconciling the primary relationship impossible.
If each of you takes space to develop yourself and your intentions honestly, your relationship may survive this separation.
5. The reunion
After being hurt, separating, and understanding one another’s values, when you reconcile, this time it’s true love. You know one another’s flaws, went different ways, yet returned because you understand reality.
You both give it another shot with a positive attitude towards the differences. You may still fight due to your clashing opinions, but you consider the other sides’ feelings too.
Slowly, you realize that you can’t get rid of the differences. You understand that it’s mainly due to your childhood attachment styles and upbringing.
You desire to make this relationship work even though there’s a lack of satisfaction in the relationship.
After a long period of tests and trials, you understand that you two are distinct individuals. Research shows less than 5% of couples reach this stage.
Here you both integrate the needs yourself and nurture the relationship. You both take responsibility for your roles in the relationship.
The frequency of conflicts declines as you try to be more understanding. You both accept one another as you are and learn to resolve your issues and not fantasize.
You become a true team in the last stage of a long-term committed relationship.
If you’re both ready to commit but don’t know how, take note of these…
Committed Relationship rules
Like all other types of relationships, in committed relationships also, you must follow certain dos and don’ts to maintain healthy dynamics.
Before you seek commitment from your partner, understand your roles and responsibilities. To avoid feeling overwhelmed or overwhelming your partner in committed relationships, adhere to these basic rules…
1. Seek reality
For a healthy relationship, you must be honest with one another. If you suppress your real emotions, how will they understand?
If you hide the reality now, you’ll grow more resentful later and things will take a worse turn.
2. Accept that it’s not only your way or highway
In your singlehood, things were different because you didn’t accept anyone else’s responsibility back then.
In a relationship, there are two people with distinct expectations and desires. You both NEED to think about both sides because your lives are entangled now.
3. Understand conflicts can be healthy
Anytime you notice a fighting couple, you assume that they don’t love one another. However, conflicts are much more normal than you think.
In fact, never aim for the “we won’t ever fight”. This only leads you to suppress the problems, snowball them, and later make a huge deal out of everything at once.
4. You can’t ever stop with the efforts
To make a relationship work, you must put in the effort every single day. If you don’t, problems will pile up. You must always show that you care.
5. Show love without bounds
Remember that there are many ways to show love to your partner. You may order them their favorite food when you’re busy, take their dog on a walk when they’re sick, tell them “I love you” with a kiss, make little sacrifices, and so on. Don’t limit your expression of love.
6. Know your relationship in-and-out
Romantic relationships hold different pictures in everyone’s life depending on what people experienced and saw around them.
When you have relationship issues, seek your loved ones’ advice, but also make sure to not judge your relationship by an outsider’s standards.
7. Seek when something’s missing
If you think your partner doesn’t satisfy your important needs like being heard and respected, ask for it upfront. Don’t hold back and ask for what you deserve.
They won’t understand until you mention it, so accelerate the process yourself.
8. Accept their imperfections
Your partner isn’t your dream man… your dream man doesn’t exist. Even if you break up with them, the new person will also have flaws.
You‘ll only waste your precious time, energy, and emotions if you continuously hop between relationships. So, accept them as they are and cherish your bond.
9. Have the courage to strike uncomfortable conversations
To commit to the end, you must be willing to face the difficult conversations and not flee from them.
If you don’t resolve the issues ASAP, they’ll haunt you in the future and ruin the best moments. Communicate even if it’s hard and things will work out.
10. Chase equality
Who doesn’t want to be pampered more? But is it right to take advantage of your partner and make them overwork? So, keep equality in mind and support them.
If you desire an equal say in the relationship, begin with financial independence. Pay for some of your dates and help them out in your own way. Appreciate things even if you don’t like them.
11. Keep the traditions on!
Suppose you always surprised your partner with their favorite takeout or bought them coffee every morning on your way out. Don’t ditch the old traditions of your relationship.
Follow them like a ritual consistently and it’ll help you keep the relationship lively and fresh. Don’t wait until your partner says “you’ve changed”.
12. Encourage them in their endeavors
Your partner has lots of passion and you might not even understand most of them. However, don’t slack off from cheering them.
Appreciate what they try to accomplish with love and support and help them not give up on their dreams.
13. Keep off the stereotypes
Don’t take random magazines’ relationship and sex advice about seriously. Not all women will worship you if you throw money at them. Not all men want to hit the bed with a particular style.
Be careful what kind of tricks and advice you accept.
14. Let the small things matter
In relationships, the tiniest things make a huge difference. For instance, if you listen to your partner, pay attention to their needs, and try not to piss them off a certain way when they’re down, it’ll make a great difference in your relationship.
15. Don’t treat them like a project
Your partner isn’t the perfect being in the world. They don’t earn, look, or behave the best. Accept them as they are. Don’t think your relationship or partner is a project… don’t try to fix them up.
Unless they have any real flaws, don’t force them to change.
Are you or your partner anxious about what happens after you commit? Don’t worry, I have the answers here…
How does a committed relationship change you?
Many people fear committing to relationships because they think they’ll lose their freedom and independence.
However, the changes aren’t bad at all. Instead, you overcome your selfish desire and become more empathetic. Rather, commitment makes you a better person. So, let’s bust those fears for good here…
1. You’ll always consider them in decisions
Since your life involves them too, you won’t entertain selfish thoughts. Until all of eternity, before you decide anything, you’ll always consider how it affects your partner.
You become mature, responsible, and selfless.
2. You’ll value their opinions
When you’re committed, you give equal priority to your partner as yourself. Nobody has an upper hand in your relationship, you’re both equal and you learn to respect one another as much as you respect yourself.
3. You get used to compromises
So long you’re in casual arrangements you don’t understand what compromise means, how to do it, and how you’ll manage it.
A committed relationship helps you learn to compromise and how to reach a middle ground.
4. You become one another’s BFF and family
With time you notice that you’re one another’s confidante and advisor. You always have their best in your mind.
You support one another during hardships and celebrate together. You’re no less than a best friend in this aspect.
Further, you also become an integral part of their family as you bond with their loved ones. You accept them unconditionally and vice versa.
5. Fights won’t agitate you
You can confidently voice out your disappointments without fearing they’ll leave you.
You’ll understand that all couples have conflicts and you’ll still be equally in love after you disagree. It helps boost your confidence and self-esteem.
Now, if you feel pumped up and desire to improve the quality of your relationship, let’s take a quick peek here…
Tips to keep a committed relationship healthy
Sometimes, people commit to relationships but get disappointed later on. They blame commitment for their sorrows, yet don’t notice where they went wrong.
If your partner tries to convince you against commitment or you feel that committing won’t work in the long haul, understand that you need a way to keep your relationship healthy and make it work.
So, let’s enlighten you with the easiest steps here…
1. Focus on your goals
Put aside your relationship goals for a moment. Think of yourselves as two individuals and your goals in life. What are your selfish desires? Do you have any professional goals?
Work on them if you believe they’ll truly bring you happiness. If you can’t be happy yourself, you can’t make your partner happy. So, each of you must work on your life goals individually.
2. Plan communication dates
If you have any issues, talk it out. Sometimes, you won’t be in a good mood or you’ll be tired. You both push behind important conversations for later, but is that any good?
The major issues pile up in the back of your mind and that affects your relationship. Pick weekly dates to express yourselves and clarify any problem before it gets worse.
3. Build your boundaries
If you’re unsure what your boundaries are, well think about what ticks you off generally. Or, research online about the general boundaries to get a basic idea.
However, remember that some of those will clash with your partner’s. Remember to negotiate and reach a middle ground where you’re both neither completely happy nor extremely disappointed.
4. Happily accept your differences
Change your perspective about your differences. Think about all the different activities you get to try. You’ll also know the world from a different point of view.
Focus on the positives about your relationship and accept them for who they are. Don’t try to change them at all.
5. Spice up the bedroom… or wherever
Usually, in long-term committed relationships, sex life gets stuck in a rut. Sex is an important part of relationships so try different and exciting things to not get bored.
Sexual dissatisfaction can lead to conflicts and resentment so make sure to have sex regularly. If things went stale for too long, try out sex dates to build excitement.
6. Get closer than ever
Sex is only one part of intimacy. Focus on all the other types too. Bond emotionally, physically, and even intellectually. Intimacy boosts relationship satisfaction and builds trust and loyalty which is important for relationships.
7. Allow them the second chance
Even if you drift apart and are on the verge of breaking up, think deeply. You invested lots of emotions in that person. Are they full of red flags?
Is it a serious problem with them or is it a minor one? Answer honestly and if you fight on minor issues, give your relationship another chance.
8. Take time for self-love
Before your relationship, you had a great life. You knew how to enjoy life all by yourself. So, why don’t you do it now? Take a vacation all by yourself or book yourself a massage.
Work on your bucket list and be happy alone. Don’t solely depend on your partner to feel content with life.
9. Bond with friends and family
Spare some time with your friends too. Your partner is your number one but when they’re busy and you’re not, hang out with your friends and family.
During relationship difficulties, seek their input. Don’t shut yourself in and lean on their shoulders. Your friends and family were with you even before your partner, so don’t forget about them.
10. Prove your appreciation
If you appreciate and respect your partner, either express it verbally as a “thank you” or support them back to make it even.
You may not be able to keep count, but try to make them feel appreciated with different forms of thanks. Notice what your partner enjoys and appreciates them in that form.
11. Express your desires and hopes
Tell them what you expect in your relationship. Know all the important things so that you can both work for aligned goals.
What are your plans for your life? Where do you wanna settle? What is your savings plan? When do you hope to get married? Do you want kids? When and how many? When do you plan to retire?
12. Spend quality time in the relationship
On a regular basis, go on dates with one another. Make new memories together to cherish for life. If you still don’t have too many responsibilities like kids and in-laws, make the best out of your time.
Date like high schoolers to keep yourself hooked to one another. Dress up wild on your dates and show them what they got.
13. Avoid any blaming
Things go wrong in so many ways in relationships. You fight, sob, feel disappointed… That’s all part of the process. BUT, don’t blame your partner for everything because you’re both accountable for everything.
Before you blame them, take time off, fix your mood, and return to communicating.
14. Willingly make some changes
Compromises are important in relationships only when you genuinely want them. Don’t blindly compromise and think through everything. Keep your relationship goals in mind and work on them.
Before you sacrifice something, think about why you’ll do it and what you’ll gain from it. If you only notice the losses, you’ll never feel satisfied with your compromises and they’ll always backfire.
15. Perceive them as your BFF
Studies show that couples that share a deep and intimate bond like best friends with one another feel much happier than couples that didn’t.
Treat your partner like a friend instead of a partner. Build a deep bond so strong that won’t falter to any energy. Friendship is the most precious bond in the world, so why not keep that in the mix?
16. Indulge in traditional activities
Every family follows their special activities to keep the clan together with great experiences. Honor your ancestors for what they passed down the generations and indulge in them.
Sometimes, they might feel a bit odd to practice, but don’t shy away and express how it’s done in your clan.
17. Don’t ignore the spiritual activities
If you both have the same spiritual beliefs and practices, indulge in those together. You’ll connect with your partner spiritually in that way.
This can also help you deepen your commitment to your faith and God as a witness.
18. Try to be kind
During a bad day, your partner won’t ask much from you but you’ll get the vibes. On those days, be sweeter to them. Help them out in their share of chores or give them a scalp massage.
If you’re busy and it’s their turn to cook, ask them to take a break and order food.
19. Reminisce the past
When you spend time together, walk through the memory lane together. Tell them what you found the most attractive in them. Share what you thought when you first saw them.
Spill what you felt during a major incident in your relationship. Scroll through your old pictures and videos while you snuggle up with your favorite beverage.
20. Seek professional help
If you can’t handle your relationship issues yourself, don’t lose hope or break up. Seek a relationship coach to figure out how to deal with things.
Consult a relationship and marriage counselor to work on your issues and learn to communicate and resolve conflicts.
Did that change your perception of commitment? Wondering if you’re ready? Let’s make sure here…
How to know if you’re ready to commit to a relationship?
Sometimes, you may feel confused about your intentions towards commitment. Perhaps, your partner wants you to commit and since you don’t have anything particularly against the idea, you consider it.
However, you also don’t know if you’re fit for the responsibilities. So, before you commit, clear your confusion here…
1. You’re satisfied with yourself
Only you can take responsibility for your happiness. No other person can make you happy if you can’t be happy alone. Your identity can’t be someone’s partner, so you need an independent identity.
Before you focus on your relationship with your partner, love and cherish yourself. If your love for yourself is no less than that for your partner, you’re ready to commit.
2. You’re all game to bare your wounds
When you’re ready to commit to someone, you’ll also be comfortable being vulnerable around them. You won’t mind emotional intimacy with them. In fact, you’ll feel safe confiding in them.
You’ll let them know about your broken and flawed sides. You’ll trust them with your secrets about your future hopes and desires.
3. You’re ready to normalize imperfections
Another good sign about being commitment ready is that you have realistic expectations from your partner. You’ll know that your partner is flawed and so are you.
You’ll accept them as they are and not fantasize about a picture-perfect partner. But of course, that doesn’t imply you must accept abusive tendencies.
4. You follow healthy relationship dynamics
To build a healthy relationship, a couple must mutually follow certain rules. It includes a healthy give and take policy, setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, sacrifices, and negotiations.
If you both work towards one goal in your mind, handle the relationship maturely, and respect yourself and your partner’s needs to have a better life, you’re ready to enter the commitment zone.
5. You’re okay with “singlehood”
Think about why you’re in a relationship… is it because you don’t want to be single? Do you dislike being single because everyone around has a partner? Do you think a relationship is a must to feel accepted in society?
You’re ready to commit to a relationship when you don’t need it to feel content or accepted but want it anyway because you love your partner.
If you find you’re not ready to commit but wanna work on it, take heed of these…
How to commit to a relationship?
If you’re uncomfortable about committing to a relationship but you want to, you might need some work on yourself.
It might have something to do with your beliefs and expectations from your relationship or you might need quick medical attention. So, let’s figure out a solution based on your issues here…
1. Try to figure yourself out
Try to understand the reasons behind your commitment issues. Are you simply unsure about committed relationships? Or, is it because of deep-seated trauma? Are you dissatisfied with your partner and always seek perfection from them?
Journal your emotions and reasons so that when you conclude the issue, you won’t miss any aspect. You might even find something you never realized.
2. Understand their expectations
If you both are in a happy and healthy relationship, your partner will naturally desire commitment. Nobody out there wants a relationship with insecurities, so your partner doesn’t demand anything out of the line.
Understand that they don’t specifically want to hurt or control you. If you’re still in the relationship, you must be pretty comfortable with them. It won’t hurt to try committing once.
3. Talk to them directly
When you find your reasons for commitment phobia, honestly communicate them to your partner. Let them know why you think it’s a bad idea to commit in your current situation.
Further, make it clear that you’re open to more inputs in this matter. This conversation may hurt them but it’s much better than hurting them in the long run.
4. Think if you’re ready
If you’re single and can’t get in a relationship with your current situation, then you have lesser liabilities. Don’t enter a relationship too fast and work on your issues.
5. Check in with experts
When you can’t figure out anything by yourself, seek an expert to solve your issues. Don’t feel ashamed to seek a therapist.
They can show you how to identify the roots of your insecurities and healthily deal with them. You may reach a happy state in your life quicker if you seek experts instead of overthinking it alone.
If you’re ready to commit but your partner isn’t, you need a different approach, so follow me to know more…
How to get someone to commit to the relationship?
If your partner won’t or can’t commit to you, don’t give up too soon. You might be able to change the situation. However, there’s also a chance they might not, so don’t keep high hopes.
So, give it your best shot with these so you don’t have any regrets later…
1. Accept yourself in your current form
Before you make someone commit to you, are you committed to yourself? Do you have a good relationship with yourself? If you don’t love and respect yourself, others won’t either.
Take care of your happiness and show them what you deserve. They’ll value you if you know how to cherish yourself. Don’t devote all of your time just to your partner.
2. Commit to them
Possibly your partner doesn’t understand what commitment means, you may share the link of this think-piece with them or apply the little things in your life.
Show them what it’s like to be in a committed relationship. Communicate what you feel is commitment to you and ask them for their definition.
If they have a misconception about commitment, take this chance to clear the misunderstanding.
3. Build an emotional connection
Commitment might sometimes happen naturally when your emotions entangle. You don’t always need to think “Yes, I’m ready to commit.”
Many couples try dating, build a long-term relationship, and they become committed in their own flow.
Communicate about various things like your interests, hopes, and fears when you’re ready to bond. Sometimes the phrase “commit to me” is intimidating, so an emotional bond can show them what exactly commitment means.
4. Don’t use sex for commitment
Many out there think sexual compatibility or just having sex is equivalent to committing. Some cultures believe you’re supposed to have sex only with your partner. So if you have sex with someone, they gotta take responsibility.
Well, sorry to burst their bubble but sex isn’t a bargain for commitment. Such dynamics only build an unhealthy relationship.
5. Never coerce them into it
Suppose you’re trying to get them to commit for a long time, but they won’t. Don’t force them into it. Understand that commitment takes time and willingness.
If you force them, they’ll only repel you as it’ll look like you want to control them. Commitment needs deep trust and they can’t trust you if you seem manipulative or controlling.
6. Learn their reasons
Take time to communicate and learn why they won’t commit. Try to know if they have specific issues. If they only need more time, think if you can wait for that.
If they don’t want anything serious but you want commitment, this might not be the right relationship for you.
7. Bond with their friends
Friends are the family we choose and they reflect ourselves. So, befriend their friends and know about them.
Find out if being commitment-averse is high among their friends. Know if their friends’ circle is healthy and if you can connect with them.
Further, your partner will also notice if you fit well in his world. If you bond well with their friends, they might put in a good word for you and make them commit.
8. Give up on changing them
If you want them to commit, accept them with their flaws. Sometimes, people avoid committing because they fear their partner will force them to change.
Show them that you want them to be themselves. Even if they have bad habits, you’ll guide them to become better people but you won’t rush them.
9. Understand whether you want or need them
What are your expectations from them? Do your hopes scare them?
If you want to be with your partner because you like their company and are emotionally stable, that’s great.
But if it’s to stabilize yourself emotionally and feel secure, that’s bad news. Perhaps your partner feels overwhelmed with your expectations. So, focus on your emotional stability instead of commitment.
10. Choose wisely on how they react
If your partner says they love you or promise to commit but won’t commit now, check if they’re commitment-phobic. They might be unaware of their issue, so you gotta take charge here.
Research online or seek a professional to understand the signs and symptoms of commitment phobia and how to deal with it. Try to know about their past trauma that made them like it and take professional guidance.
Possibly, you have many more queries about committing to relationships. So, let me wrap it up with your answers here…
Commitment isn’t for everyone and some people need more time than others to commit. If you want to try a relationship without commitment or want to know how long you must wait until your partner commits, that’s a tricky game.
So c’mon, let’s get rid of the bugging questions right here…
Commitment in a relationship implies your intent towards your partner. Being committed means you’ll be there for the long haul through all troubles and are serious.
Further, it’s also important to make sure you both expect the same thing from the relationship. If you don’t communicate your feelings regarding commitment and what you will commit to, you may get heartbroken or break others’ hearts.
So commitment is important for partners to feel secure in a relationship. It also allows partners to decide the best for their and their loved ones’ lives.
For instance, in a committed relationship, you might invest in joint property like a car, house, etc. However, when you’re unsure, you can’t make such big decisions.
If you experienced relationships before, did you commit to them or did you need a lot of time? Your answer to this question will never be simple. It also depends on whether you feel satisfied in your relationship.
If this is your first relationship, the commitment topic will be hectic. Think about whether you want a long-term or short-term relationship. Do you like monogamous or open relationships?
Think about what you desire from your partner and what they can fulfill. If you’re ready to invest your energy and efforts in your partner, you might be ready for commitment.
A relationship without commitments aka casual relationships is possible. Here you and your partner will mutually seek fun and carefree arrangement and have no expectations from one another.
Open and honest communication about your intentions, preferences and is important in this. Discuss whether you’ll stay exclusive or you want an open relationship.
If your partner wants to open the relationship, will you be comfortable with that?
If you both communicate clearly about your rules and boundaries and maintain them well, you can enjoy a relationship without commitment.
This completely depends on your needs and no framed duration can define it. Communicate that you want commitment in your relationship and observe your partner’s reactions and responses.
If they don’t want to commit to the relationship, never assume they need time and hope for a change. Further, if your partner can’t trust you yet, it’s doubtful they will do it anytime soon.
Think if you give way more than you get and if you truly feel content about that. Do you think waiting for them to change their mind is worth it?
If you’re not happy, consider moving on. Don’t wait until you get hurt deeply or you feel resentful towards them and end on a bitter note. If you wish to settle down in a committed relationship soon, you can’t adjust with someone that’s not ready.
If you’re afraid of committing to a relationship, you might have commitment phobia. This happens if you experience a traumatic incident in your past relationships with a caregiver or a past lover.
Another reason might be low self-esteem issues that make you think you’re not worth your partner or you can’t handle a relationship or make someone happy.
Or, you might have deep trust issues due to past experiences or your experience with your current partner.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
If you have a great relationship but you’re only a few months into it, don’t force commitment into the equation too fast. If you want, think about going exclusive, but take time to commit.
Don’t assume your partner is playing with your heart because they won’t commit. Never force them into committing… because even if they say “I commit”, if their heart doesn’t want it, the relationship might wane soon.
If you’re against committing to a relationship, communicate with your partner to ensure you’re on the same page. Don’t assume they understand your feelings.
If they want you to but you’re unsure, say it on their face and save them from heartbreak. Don’t delay revealing your intentions and save yourself from unwanted drama.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...