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35 Sure-Shot Signs Your Ex Wants You Back (Now!)

35 Sure-Shot Signs Your Ex Wants You Back (Now!)

Updated on Sep 25, 2023

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

35 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back - Signs your Ex Secretly Wants You Back

Are you searching for the signs your ex wants you back?

Our mind is an expert in playing stupid tricks on us when we are trying to comprehend our ex’s confusing behavior.

Why did they like my post? Does this mean they want me back?

Why are they ignoring me? Does this mean they want me back?

Well, the questions are innumerable and it’s easy to make hasty decisions based on impulsive conclusions. But hey, here I am providing you a chance to look at the situation from a neutral angle.

This think-piece will introduce you to the signs that really state if your ex truly wants you back or it’s all in your imagination.

35 Signs your Ex Wants you Back

The feelings after a breakup is a roller-coaster ride. You think you are never going to hear again from your ex.

Suddenly, they send you a text one afternoon and you are left guessing their intention behind contacting you again.

It’s possible to assume things when the other person is not being apparent. To clear away your confusion, here are the 35 telltale signs that prove your ex wants you back.

1. They reminisce good old times

Your ex seems to live in nostalgia. They hit you with lots of “remember when” texts and calls.

It’s the familiarity that makes us get stuck in our comfort zone. It can be related to a job, position, or even a person. In such times, remember that you are moving ahead in life and not backward.

But the ex… they really want you back.

2. You spot your ex everywhere (quite literally!)

Coincidences are possible but it isn’t destiny if you keep spotting your ex everywhere.

If your ex keeps making their presence felt at parties, outside your gym and the café near your office, pay attention to this pattern.

What they are doing on purpose. The ex is miserable and misses you desperately. It’s also possible that they are not finding another date to move on with their life.

Thus, they are crawling back to their safe place and that’s why this is one of the top 3 signs your ex secretly wants you back.

3. They often drunk-dial you (or drunk-text)

Alcohol isn’t a truth potion. It doesn’t make them honest and straightforward if they lie on a daily basis.

It just lowers one’s inhibitions and makes them more emotional. If your ex is drunk dialing and texting you, be honest and practical about it rather than flowing away with your emotions.

Take your time to analyze if what they said on the drunk call really meant something. Either they are still in love with you or just making stuff because they were bored and wanted a booty call.

4. They want to discuss the past

An ex who has moved on from a breakup would not consider discussing their past. What’s the point of re-hashing things without any reason but not reconciliation?

They may find reasons to get a closure to what happened, or they will discuss the good time you spent at your favorite coffee house.

Worse, they will discuss the night you spent at their place.

When your ex is purposely talking about the past, they haven’t really moved on yet. They are still finding reasons to rekindle the spark and achieve what they had with you again.

5. They are trying to play the victim card

It doesn’t matter if you’ve broken up with your ex because they cheated on you. The ex was taking you for granted and is not finding it hard to accept they can be rejected.

It’s also possible that they were the one who broke up with you. Ironically, all their posts and WhatsApp stories are sharing sad songs and cryptic posts.

They really want to play the victim card to be a good person in other people’s eyes. Also, it’s a good way to snatch your attention.

6. They throw themselves into a “new” relationship

Sometimes, situations are way too hard and a person is too weak to face them. In such times, they prefer denial over facing reality.

What’s a better and more stupid way to ignore reality than getting a new “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”. Is it wrong if I call them “rebound“?

If not even a week has passed since your breakup and they are already walking hand in hand with some other person, they are just finding new stupid ways to cope up with the pain they suffered due to the breakup. 

7. The exotic new life of your ex seems desirable

The ex is behaving totally out of their default behavior. Out of the blue, they have adopted a keen interest in surfing with Brazilian beauties and hunks.

They are posting images of heavy drinking and calling it “the best life ever!”. They are moving from one party to another and making friends with new women and men recklessly.

These all are their desperate attempts to win over your attention.

A simple text of “How are you so happy without me?” is gonna make their day. Though, they aren’t going to accept it.

8. Let’s fight – All Time, Every time!

Your ex is finding it hard to have a civil conversation. Whenever they talk to you, they are surely going to fight over something or another.

They may have anger management issues and other problems. But these continuous fights mean only one thing – they still have unresolved feelings for you.

What should you do next? Take yourself out of this endless circle of the blame game. That’s my best relationship advice.

9.  All your ex’s friends want to know about your life

The friends who didn’t even care about your existence much will start hitting you with texts like “how are you doing?”

However, their main job is to find out if you have moved on with someone else or not. Of course, your ex is behind all these teenage tricks.

Pay attention to what you communicate to these friends as it can make or break the chances of you getting back with your ex. (If that’s what you want)

10. Your ex is burning! (Umm.. you get that, right! 😉)

Often an ex will get back to you saying, “Can we be friends?” If their intention is limited to friendship, they are not going to get jealous over all the amazing dates you have gone to in the past week.

If they seem uncomfortable about it and throw insults, accusations, or sarcastic taunts, they aren’t not over you at all.

Your amazing dating life is burning them and they can’t help revealing it.

11. “Hey, What’s up?”

This is the best way to start a conversation. When your ex hits you with a “Hey, what’s up?”, they are not really interested in what you are doing. 

Instead, they want to share what they have been up to in their life. Breaking up with a person when you shared all your life’s important events with them is hard.

They just want you to lend your ears to all their stories that no one else listens to.

12. Your ex is all-in for “self-improvement”

Their love for burgers is old stuff now as they are sipping protein shake at a high-class gym with their gym bros and girls.

In some other cases, the ex seeks therapy to resolve their negative emotions. They take each and every step to be a better person.

These huge changes are not to be ignored. They are really suffocating with the aftermath of the breakup. It’s a good thing that they are trying everything to make it out of it.

13. Conversations with your friends and family is still ON

Is your ex still checking on your mother and asking your friends how they have been?

Guess what, they haven’t moved on at all. They still miss you and keep thinking about all the good old days.

Maintaining a healthy relationship with your family and close friends means staying close to your presence even when both of you are not on talking terms.

14. They are not dating (even though it’s been a while since you both broke up!)

Getting into rebounds is pretty common. Intellectuals seem to avoid it. But if it’s been a long time and your ex is still not dating anyone, it means they have not moved on.

The relationship they had with you was very dear to them. They don’t think they can rekindle that kind of romance with another person.

This is the reason that they are still single and have totally dumped the dating game.

15. They are trying to self-isolate

While some people try to share their pain with their buddies, some find it impossible to showcase how miserable they are to another person.

They are struggling and they don’t want anyone else to see their struggle. Thus, they try to self-isolate everyone to hide their pain.

It clearly shows that your ex is not able to move on.

16. They are finding excuses to make contact

Your ex is interested in rekindling the dead (or murdered) romance if they keep making excuses to talk to you.

“Can you suggest a good movie?”

“Do you know where we find the best shoes in the town?”

If their questions are so random yet they consider you to talk about it rather than their Friends, you know the deal.

17. The replies are super quick (and full of enthusiasm!)

Suppose you have decided to stay in touch with your ex on a platonic level. If your ex replies way too quickly and is over-enthusiastic in their text messages, they still haven’t moved on.

If your ex has moved on, they will be indifferent in their approach rather than jumping like a bunny.

It’s a good idea to pay attention to their response to your texts.

18. They always need help with something

Sometimes, their plea for help can be genuine and you should not read too deeply between the lines.

At other times, they are just finding reasons to see you or talk to you. Especially when their plea for help is regular and for things like “suggesting a dish” or “teaching them a recipe” in the middle of the night.

They are just being ridiculous and it’s a good idea to ask them what they really want.

19. They reach out to you (consistently!)

Did they text you once after months? That’s okay.

But are they texting you on a daily basis for some or no reason at all? That’s the point when you need to reconsider things.

Your ex thinks the breakup was a mistake. Getting back with you is obviously in their mind. Analyze the pros and cons of getting back with them no matter how much you still love them.

20. Twitter, Instagram. Facebook – they are connected to you on ALL Social Media

According to relationship experts, you are obviously in the minds of an ex who is religiously following you on all sorts of social media.

It’s a good sign only when they are liking all of your posts and watching and rewatching your stories.

If they are constantly paying attention to you over social media, it means they are still stuck in the past.

21. Your relationship status is the “new” talk of the town

Whether you are dating someone or you aren’t… this is the new talk of the town. Everyone from your mutual friends to his close friends wants to know where you are heading with your love life.

Just try uploading a picture with a new love interest. Your ex is surely going to know about it because they are making desperate attempts to know about your dating life.

Also, be mindful of sharing information as it can affect your life negatively or positively.

22. They admit being the problem-maker

It’s a sign of maturity when an ex starts to take responsibility for their mistakes in the relationship. It’s just their way to deal with things and finally move on from what happened.

But if you find the other signs discussed in this article reflecting in your ex’s behavior, then it means they haven’t really moved on from the relationship.

They may not even be sorry for what they did. They are just desperate to get back with you and their apology is just a part of many of their mind games.

23. You still have a lot of his/her things

It’s been a long time since you guys broke up, but they still haven’t asked for their scarf that they left at your place.

In some cases, your ex just forgets where they left their belongings. In some cases, there’s a good chance that it’s an excuse to knock on your door in the future to give the relationship another chance.

So, what is it that your ex has left at your apartment?

24. They just can’t keep their hands off you

You meet your ex after months since the breakup. The person starts acting like they still are your partner by touching you here and there.

They may try to control their urges by limiting the touches just to your shoulder, thigh or just brushing their hands against yours.

Can’t they keep their hands off you? How can they? If they are still not over the affection and attraction?

25. They often make jokes about liking you

These people don’t want any damage to their already fragile egos. Thus, they make jokes about liking you again to find out what your thoughts are about them.

No one makes jokes about liking their ex given the history and related drama. But if they are taking this chance, your ex really wants you back.

If you don’t reciprocate positively to their silly jokes, they will obviously laugh it off without bringing the serious topic. 

26. Compliments… and some more compliments

Ever wondered why your ex keeps complimenting you for the way your hair looks or for the way you smile?

Why are they out of the blue commenting about your personality and singing praises about how remarkable a person you are?

Do they keep noticing how much you have changed after the breakup or how incredible you were in the relationship? Dear, now it’s confirmed that your ex wants you back.

27. There are some posts on Social Media only for you to understand

Your ex doesn’t shy away from posting subliminal and indirect posts on social media dedicated to you. But they shy away from accepting the fact that they are missing you.

If their posts reflect the indirect message that they have strong feelings for someone who recently broke their heart, it’s a big sign that they miss you and want to get back to you.

If you are over them, don’t let these indirect posts affect your mental state and move on with your life.

28. They still share secrets with you

In a happy relationship, a partner shares each and everything with the other. It’s because they trust the other person.

If your ex is still treating you as their confidante after breaking up with you, do they even know it’s quite apparent they still haven’t moved on?

By sharing their secrets, they are making you realize how much you still mean to them. It’s all in the hopes of wanting you back.

29. They make their Single (and ready to mingle) status clear

Making clear that they are not dating anyone else is the biggest sign that your ex wants to get back with you.

It’s none of your concern to know about their dating life. It’s not their responsibility to make things clear to you or defend themselves if they are not even in a relationship with you.

Yet, if you don’t even ask them about their relationship status and they still rub it in your face, they are thinking of getting back with you again.

30. They feel responsible for your safety

Partners constantly feel the need to be responsible for the physical and mental protection of the love of their life.

But once they have moved on and have nothing to do with you, they make it clear by subtle signs that they are no longer responsible for your well-being.

Showing concern for your safety and well-being is a good way to show they still care about you and want you back.

31. Are you jealous?

Don’t have guts? Well, there’s a way by which you can know if your ex still considers you as their “one real love”.

It’s by making them jealous and paying attention to your reaction.

If you’ve noticed your ex blabbering about their crushes, their hot dates, and how good they have turned in flirting?

It’s because they want you back and are just making sure if you will take them back.

32. They want to discuss about “what went wrong”

Talking about what went wrong in a relationship is okay. People seem to receive closure from the important conversation.

But if your ex keeps expressing his desire to talk about what went wrong again and again, they can’t believe things are over.

They want to discuss the breakup because they want you back. They are just finding a way to work through things.

33. Friends? (Like, seriously?)

Does your ex want to spend time with you as a friend? Does that even seem logical?

Well, it’s fine to be friends with your ex after time has wiped away most of the memories and your weeping soul has been healed.

But if not even a calendar has changed since your breakup and the ex wants to remain friends, (best friends in some cases) it means they are trying every possible way to get you back.

34. They make an effort… a lot more than the first time!

You may have been in a long-term relationship and your ex was a total loser in the field of making efforts.

Their actions always made you feel it was a one-sided relationship. But now, they have suddenly started to change their behavior and patterns.

They are making efforts to keep a check on you, remembering your important dates and details, constantly checking on you, etc.

They certainly want you back and are trying to show they have changed so you give them another chance.

35. They are genuinely happy with your growth/achievements

If your ex has moved on with their life, they aren’t going to care much about your success or growth. They have a lot of things to deal with in their own life.

The case is different if they genuinely want you back. In this case, they are really happy about your achievements and happiness.

We love to see the people we love growing and thriving. The same is with this person who once lost you but wants you back.

What are the Signs your ex-boyfriend wants you back?

Guys have a hard time communicating their feelings. They feel deeply for you, yet they can’t process their feelings into words.

Instead, they choose subtle hints and actions to make you realize how much they love you and how desperately they want you back.

If your ex-boyfriend wants you back, they will either discuss how single they are or how unhappy they feel in their new relationship.

Most times, they will be jealous of your close guy friends and your crushes. They will show their jealousy by criticizing them for some irrelevant reasons.

If they meet you, they will make such intense eye contact as they are trying to convey their unsaid strong feelings. It’s more severe if they can’t resist making physical contact.

What are the Signs your ex-girlfriend wants you back?

Most of the time, women are loud with their emotions. Though, they can go silent if they have been extremely hurt.

If your ex-girlfriend wants you back, she will want to know your relationship status and love interests.

She will find stupid reasons to contact you via text messages or phone calls. You can also find her asking you for help.

If she agrees to be friends with you after a bad breakup, it means she is still interested in you. Her hopes of getting back with you are still alive.

Plus, point, she also remembers all the tiny details and makes it a point to keep a check on you. If you are sad, she will willingly try to comfort you and make you happy.

But most of all,

Ask yourself

Do you really want to go back to your ex?

I know that people preach “move on with your life” and “block your ex’s number”. But what if your heart belongs to them? Only you know how hard it’s been without them.

If you really want to get back to them and all the signs mentioned in this article are in your favor, you should give it another shot.

Just make sure that you mend the issues that were in the relationship before so that you don’t end up in a failed relationship again.

Remove the negative patterns and take your time to heal and grow before committing to this person all over again.

In fact, if needed, don’t hesitate to consult a relationship counselor. There’s no shame in seeking expert help if it garners you with a happy life and a satisfying relationship!

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