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How to Make Your Ex Miss You – 30 Surefire Ways

How to Make Your Ex Miss You – 30 Surefire Ways

Updated on Oct 06, 2022 | Published on Mar 02, 2020

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

How to Make Your Ex Miss You In 30 Subtle Ways

We all have been there. Someone you truly loved or had feelings for, left you for someone else or worse, for no apparent reason.

No matter how much you cry over them, at the back of your head, you always knew that they were the ones who lost you and not the other way around.

Even so, the heart is a fool. It’s a fool! So, you try to find new ways to manipulate your ex to come back to you and stay for the rest of your lives. And that is why you keep thinking of convoluted ways on how to make your ex miss you!

Even though it hurts like hell, it is important to understand that there are ways in which we can actually attract our ex back into our lives and make them miss us like crazy, yes, effortlessly or with too little effort!

So, how to make your ex miss you? Well, read on to learn about the same.

How to Make Your Ex Miss You - 30 Subtle ways
How to Make Your Ex Miss You – 30 Subtle ways

How to Make Your Ex Miss You – 30 Subtle Ways


Your ex would be fortunate to have a second chance with you. Even if you do not apply the below tricks and ways to call him or her back into your life and remain real with your feelings and intention, he or she will anyway come back to you soon.

They feel you and your vibrations energetically and thus, come to you the minute they do not feel you around anymore. Trust me!

Now, without deviating from the topic, let’s learn about these effortless ways to make your ex miss you and if they are lucky, come back to you.

1. Do not contact them

The biggest mistake we make right after our ex leaves is to feed their ego by leaving them a text message or drunk call them.

Well, this doesn’t work in your favor. You are giving them exactly what they do not deserve!

How would you make your miss you, if they know that you are falling apart without them? This is half the work done for them! Yes!

So, even if you are in the process of sending them calls or texts, please stop and bring your focus to yourself. Stay true to no contact rule!

2. Bring your focus on yourself

It will work wonders for you, trust me! Now that you are done mourning over your ex, it’s time for you to shift the energy on yourself.

Start a fitness regime, get a new haircut, join a hobby class that you wanted to for a long time, learn to cook a new dish, do yoga, write poetry—anything but sulking over your ex.

The main purpose of this point is to make yourself a priority. Feel good about yourself and have lots of fun in your life.

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It might seem crazy to you in the first place but when you are connected with some wholeheartedly, your energy mingles with theirs. Remember, everything is energy and it flows where focus goes.

So, bring it all on yourself and soon, you will notice that you do not miss them anymore and this is a good sign for they will stop feeling you energetically and come running back to you.

3. Start dating other people

Even if your heart’s not into it, you should meet new people.

It is so important for two reasons –firstly, you will shift your energy to new and fresh things and secondly, you will slowly start forgetting your ex. It’s a proven way to get over your ex.

However, we know the purpose isn’t to get over here but the purpose is to not be obsessed over them.

So, go ahead and spend time with new people and if possible, date a few as well. Who knows, your mister or miss right would come right in front of your eyes and you certainly forget all about your ex!

4. Make a big change in your life

This change should be so big that it should surprise (rather a shock) your ex! So, your boyfriend broke up with you and started dating some other woman immediately?

Your girlfriend changed her flat right after you broke up to move in with a “friend?” Well, this was a change on their side.

So, what would you do that would truly surprise them, mostly, because they never expected you to do something like that in your life?

Go ahead, and do that. Embrace the change and turn your life around.

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No matter what changes they are bringing in their lives, your change should have to do something out of the ordinary. This should be something that you have never done with your ex.

When you do something unexpected, it triggers a reaction from you ex, who is taken aback by your new way of embracing life. Go ahead, challenge yourself with something new!

5. Have a mutual friend

Generally speaking, after a break-up, the communication with your ex completely ceases, at least for a while.

During this no contact period, it is important to get on a phone call with a mutual friend from time-to-time, just so your ex remains updated about your life.

Make sure that this friend knows all about the great things that are happening in your life because, in one way or another, your ex will come to know about the good times you are having.

6. Remove them from social media

The faster you do it, the better it is. Removing him or her from all your social media accounts is a direct message to them that you aren’t bluffing or playing a game with them.

You have moved on and you mean well and good! Once they learn that there is no means for them to connect with you, they might get triggered and come running back to you or at least start talking to you again.

7. Decline their invites

When your ex stops feeling you in their energetic field, especially if you two have stopped talking after a break-up, then there are chances that they would be initiating contact soon.

This happens a lot of time, especially, if they are the ones who broke up with you.

So, when you receive a phone call from them and they ask you to meet them, well take control of your emotions and decline their invite immediately.

This will totally shake them up and they will start thinking that they very well took you for granted and it’s time for payback.

8. Go out with your family and friends

Since your ex seems to need time and space to figure things out, it is even more important for you to take your own time and hang out with your friends and family members.

Travel with them to a new destination, get a new haircut with them, go shopping or movie, or simply spend a lot of time with them.

Take care of yourself and people who love you during this time—they deserve your time and love as well. This will be quite healing for you too.

The energy of love is therapeutic and who can love you more than your own family and friends.

9. Start a rumor

Even if you don’t understand this point, you should go ahead with it. It should involve you and someone you might be dating. It’s a rumor, so it doesn’t have to be true.

If you are cringing on dating rumors, then perhaps, it should be about moving away to another city. This will give him or her chills and they would soon start missing you like anything.

10. Start putting yourself first

A big reason why people break up is that one of the partners already is/was or becomes too giving.

The other partner, however, does not do the same and becomes used to getting what they want and taking the other person for granted.

Of course, they would start getting irritated with this ‘giving’ nature of yours and a time will come when they will decide to leave.

However, when you learn to prioritize yourself and start putting yourself first, there will be a magical aura surrounding you all the time.

This new and improved version of you will speak of how much you truly love yourself and why being with your ex was truly a mistake.

When your ex will learn this new quality of self-love in you, there is no way he or she wouldn’t want to talk to you or be in and around your energy.

11. Practice self-love

Self-love is the answer to everything. When you keep giving love and care to your partner, they start taking you and your affection for granted. They start feeling that you will always be there for them.

However, this isn’t true. On a subconscious level, they feel like they do not deserve you and also this feeling makes them leave you.

You should, at all costs, let such people go because sooner or later, they will understand that there is no one like you on the planet. No person will care and love them as you did and this will bring a lot of realizations to them. 

Meanwhile, you would be focusing your loving and healing energy on yourself and living your best life. Remember, when they won’t be able to replace your real with someone else, and in most cases, they can’t, they will get back to you because they miss you.

It is then, your choice, whether you want to take them back or not. In either case, the deciding factor should be in your hands.

12. Talk to them like they are your friends

Now that they have initiated the conversation, it is time for you to be assured that they are already in the process of missing you like crazy. Treating them like a friend is a sure shot way to make them fall for you even more.

Psychologically speaking, it will rekindle their feelings for you and they will remember what a truly good person you are, and that you love them to the point that you are willing to keep them in your life, even when they had decided to leave you.

It works like fire especially when you were friends before. It is anyway a good thing to do because life is short and if you can, you should keep people that you are connected deeply with, in your life.

However, if this keeping them in your life is causing you trouble or there are chances that this relationship might turn toxic in the future, you should let go.

13. Take a vacation

Vacations can be a quick-fix solution to all problems. Be it a hectic work schedule, some family issues, or getting over your ex, go on a long vacation and you’ll come back with a big smile.

Instead of choosing an old favorite destination, try something new. This will give you an all-new experience. It will also teach you the importance of change, freshness, and renewal.

This will also save you from suddenly bumping into your ex if you belong to the same city.

14. Choose your company wisely

So now that you’ve decided to go on a vacation, now it’s time to choose a company!

If you want to give yourself some space and introspection, then better you go for a solo trip.

However, if there are any chances that you will miss your ex when on a solo trip, then please take your friends along with you.

Of course, when they see you enjoying yourself, they will feel jealous and ultimately miss you.

15. Do not be a sob-face all the time

Do not share your feelings or go on telling everyone that you are upset or post sad stories on your social media. Rather show everyone that you can live your life on your own terms.

Don’t share your feelings with your mutual friends either, instead talk about new things you have started doing. It shouldn’t look like a pretension; it should be a real change that you are bringing into your life.

Everyone will appreciate that independent and confident human in you. Your ex would admire it too!

16. Meet new people & listen to their stories

When you meet new people, and sometimes come across their heartbreak stories, you feel inspired. You feel like if they can live their life happily, you can do it too! Draw as much positivity and encouragement from them as you can.

Meeting new people will also allow you to expand your social circle so that you have someone to talk to when you feel sad or lonely.

Further, you will be able to maintain a distance from the people who remind you of your past.

17. Work on your interests

All of us strike off one or other interests from our lists, just to manage time.

So, now that you’ve broke up, engage yourself in doing things you always wanted to do, but could not do due to a shortage of time.

Nurture your hobby. Start to paint, dance or sing. If you want you can also enroll yourself in a dance or music class, where you will be able to interact with new people.

Once your ex starts to feel that you are happy without them, they will be compelled to miss you more.

18. Be the person you are

If you meet with your ex – suddenly or during a planned meeting – don’t pretend to be someone else. Even if they want to come back into your life, they will have to accept you the way you are. Nothing less, nothing more, just be the natural beautiful person that you are.

You might have changed some subtle habits that they didn’t like initially. But now that they have become your ex, you have all the freedom to be the real you. However, if those changes have improved you as an individual, then better stick to the changes.

All this will ensure that no matter what happens in your life you’re the same positive, happy, honest, and potential spirit. Trust me, everyone will miss such a person.

19. Be cool and avoid stalking your ex

Try to be cool and keep your calm. Even after starting a conversation with your ex, do not try to meet them very often. Don’t go to the same library or restaurant that they frequently visit.

If you are active on social media, do not keep an eye on your ex or check your ex’s profile daily. This will all keep you in the bad space and you will not be able to resist the urge to talk to them.  

Take a break and give yourself sufficient time. If possible, close all your media handles, meditate, eat healthy, sleep on time, and wake up early so that you can feel fresh and jolly.

20. Talk about new things to them

If you’re in a conversation with your ex, do not reveal much about yourself.

Ask them about their whereabouts but not very frequently. Make an excuse, and try not to continue a conversation for more than 5-10 minutes, which will leave them with the urge to talk to you more.

Talk about your hobby or how you have made new friends. Do not reveal much about your plans but sometimes share pictures with your new friends where you people are spending quality time laughing and enjoying.

21. Show care but smartly

Express your tenderness or fondness towards them but in a clever way. Do not make it obvious that you are very affectionate towards them, but wish them on any special occasions like their birthdays, New Year, or Christmas.

This will make them feel that you still care for them “genuinely”. The idea is to make them realize that their presence makes a difference in your life. But we have to execute this idea very smartly and indirectly.

You just have to show them that when both of you are together, you create a strong positive aura around you and things are perfect. Eventually, your ex will crave for this perfection.

22. Remind them about your happy past

After some time of your breakup, when you have become emotionally stable and initiated a conversation with your ex, do not make it awkward. Try not to grow the conversation about your negative past, fights, or breakups.

In fact, talk about your happy times, how you both have spent gala times, how you guys managed to talk over the phones for hours even after a hectic day, or the conversations you both had over a nice and overwhelming dinner.

This can make your ex miss your time together and eventually come back to you.

23. Give them some time

When you miss your ex and want them back, it’s extremely normal that you will want to grab their attention immediately.

Just know that they have recently parted ways and it’s not natural for someone to miss you immediately after a breakup. Give them some time.

Make sure anything you do to attract their attention is not irritating them. Otherwise, you will ruin the entire plan of creating a distance from them to miss you.

24. Radiate Positivity

The hands of the clock spare none. We all go through such disheartening phases in your life and you’re exception.

If in such scenarios, you let the negativity, sorrow, and feeling of defeat overpower your tolerance, then you are going to give up for sure.

However, if you just believe in the positive power of destiny, and repeat to yourself: Everything happens for a good cause, you will see some magical changes in your life.

Don’t let sadness take over your happiness. Be happy, thinking that life has planned something better for you. This positive perspective will bring you favorable consequences.

25. Be Adventurous

Have you ever tested your self-survival skills? If not, this is the time! Go on, and explore the wildest adventures that have tempted you.

Make sure you have a safe company with you to ensure risk-free fun. These adventures will tell you how capable you are and the explorations will lead you to self-discovery.

It will naturally bring a confident change in your personality, which will make your ex miss you.

26. Do not get frustrated or angry if someone talks about your ex

Are people trying to trigger your emotions by discussing your ex? But why would you handover the keys of your emotions in their hands? You are a grown-up individual, and you definitely know people who would not mind your vulnerable side.

Let them blabber whatever they want. Don’t let them see the pain you are carrying in your heart. The anger is going to tarnish your image in front of your ex. They might feel scared to face you. So be the happy person that everyone likes to be with.

27. Do not meet your ex alone, until you’re mentally prepared

Don’t, just DON’T plan to meet your ex alone, until you’re mentally strong.

If you meet your ex at an emotionally weak stage, then you might create drama in public and make your ex feel awkward.

If you do this, they are obviously going to despise you and eventually create even more distance from you. They will know that you aren’t capable of balancing your life without them.

Why would you do that to yourself? Instead, play safe and meet them along with mutual friends.

28. Work on your short-term as well as long-term goals

This fast-paced world has no place for hangovers. Start working on your professional goals. Trust me this is one way to immediately attract your ex.

Everyone in this world appreciates people who are doing professionally well in their careers. We all get attracted to successful people and so will your ex!

Show the world that you can do wonders. This will boost your confidence and you will stop drawing your happiness from others. Instead, you will feel self-sufficient and independent.

29. Never feel sorry or regret the loss

If you truly loved them, then just know that there is no gain and loss in love. Don’t attach such negative feelings to the pure feeling of love.

Entertaining such feelings will make you look depressed and frustrated. It will suck the life out of your body. You will look dull and lost. Forget about your ex, even you wouldn’t love such a person.

Instead, feel happy that God has invested loving powers in you. Spread love and positivity wherever you go. That’s how winners live!

30. Know the golden rule…

Last but the most important rule says: What’s yours, will walk into your life no matter how hard you try to stop it. And if it is not yours, it doesn’t matter how desperately you chase it, it will walk away from you.

Similarly, if your ex is destined to be in your life, they will eventually come back. Don’t be too harsh on yourself for such a silly reason. Time is the best medicine.

No matter how hopeless and worthless you feel at this point, give yourself some time, and you will see things settle down for the best.


Why Do You Want Your Ex to Miss You?

It highly depends on the way they left you. For instance, if you ex left you for someone else, then perhaps it is important for your self-esteem and worth to let them go and tell yourself every day that you deserve better.

However, if he or she is struggling with something or isn’t seeing a future with you, then you should give it a try.

In any case, you shouldn’t feel that you do not deserve better than them because you always do!

However, if the sole purpose of making your ex miss you is revenge, well back off! It seems good for your ego to have them back in your life but ego in itself is a lie. If you want them to miss you means you are speaking from a place of lack.

When you feel completely whole in yourself, when you know your worth and when you know you have all the care and love to give to a person, you shouldn’t compromise on making this person miss you. It’s just not worth it.

However, if you are not able to come to a conclusion about the same, then give it time and remain involved in your life.

The ones who are meant to be a part of your life will come and stay. It is that simple. All you have to do is accept the circumstances and hope for the better.

Closing Thoughts

One thing that you must remember is that making your ex miss you doesn’t mean that you should find ways to manipulate them back into your life. This is one sure way to get your plan backfired.

If someone wants to be there in your life, the stimulus and absence test will make it happen. And if it doesn’t, then do not lose hope but also do not act as a toxic person.

If your attempts are failing in attracting their attention, well, then it is for the best to move on. 

Learn to move on without making a scene out of it. What are you waiting for anyway? Life is short but it’s grand enough to bring to you too many people who will be happy to spend their lives with you.

What are you worried about? Keep your thoughts clear and happy, focus on becoming your greatest version, and tread lightly through life, for it is nothing less than magic.

Are you interested to know more about ‘I miss my ex. What should I do now?’ then click here?

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