Our relationships are not about sunshine and brightness always. Sometimes, you may be in doubt about whether the relationship is really worth it or if it needs to be reviewed once more. At this juncture, a question that comes to your mind is ‘How to know if a relationship is worth saving?’ Maybe the arguments, differences of opinion, and lack of respect for each other are growing big day by day.
You are not sure whether to part ways or to put some more effort to stay together in love and harmony. When the color of the roses and the brightness of the rainbow fade away in the bonding, a thorough review calls for.
You need to know the signs that the relationship will work out well and the signs of disagreements are just a passing phase. In this think piece, we will tell you the major signs that hint that your relationship is not going to be a disaster after all.
How to know if a relationship is worth saving?
Summary: Relationships are fragile and can easily be broken if not taken care of. The effort needs to be put in from both ends. At times, it may look like a complete failure and at the next moment, it appears even glossier and more beautiful. You are confused about whether the relationship is worth saving.
It is a fact that the honeymoon phase of your relationship will be bright and sunny. Everything is easy, full of fun and gratitude. Maybe you and your partner will be in the seventh sky. Every night is a date night and every weekend is perfectly planned with a good outing. There are no problems, no sorrows, and minimal responsibilities around.
But the reality is just around the corner when days are just passing by and you are feeling the spark missing somewhere in the relationship. Subtle disagreements, fights, and arguments are slowly creeping inside and you are having double thoughts about whether the relationship is worth saving now.
It is always easy to break up and walk away. But staying and trying your best to make things work out in the bonding needs effort and dedication. Building relationships is not child’s play and both partners will have to put their individual share to ignite the spark of togetherness in all new ways.
What is going wrong in the relationship?
Sometimes, you may find yourself in a vicious circle of arguments and fights. In this situation, hopelessness seems probable. You may see no light at the end of the tunnel. The seeds of doubt may have clouded your mind and you do not know how to clear the air.
Moreover, the frequent conflicts with your partner have left a bad taste in your mouth and you are full of frustrations and annoyance now. Every moment of being together with your partner looks like an uphill task and not an easygoing chore.
There are certain signs your relationship is not in the expected lines of love, harmony, and peace.
- Regular conflicts
- Blame games
- Differences of opinion
- Lack of respect for each other
- Intrusions in privacy and personal space
- Lack of healthy communication
- No love exchange
- Fault-finding tendencies of one or both partners
- Adjustment issues
Questions to ask yourself
What to do now? Before you quit or plan to move out, it’s important to ask yourself certain crucial questions so that you know whether your decision to move out is worth it or not.
Sometimes, occasional arguments, fights, and squabbling can be resolved by mutual understanding and compliance with each other’s wishes.
Before you decide to move ahead with a breakup, it is essential to review the status of your relationship with your partner.
Step back and reflect on what are the issues that are bothering you and your partner these days. Are you people contributing positively to each other’s life?
- What are the things that made you click with your partner when you begin the relationship?
- How does your partner make you feel now? Is it different from your previous feelings of the past?
- Are you people losing interest in each other because of other factors such as family, friends, or work?
- What changes are happening now in the relationship that made you question whether the relationship is worth saving?
- Are you trying to save the relationship or fighting out the issues even more?
- What is the role of your partner in the ‘saving process?
- What are the deal breakers as per you? Do you think that your expectations from the relationship are not met?
- Do you and your partner put efforts to safeguard the relationship from further damage?
By taking a closer look at each other’s contributions and efforts in the relationship, you can take the final call of either saving the relationship or moving out of it completely.
20 Signs that hints your relationship is worth holding
It is painful to question the worth of your relationship because it is emotionally overwhelming and you may be at crosswords to sort out the issues between you and your partner. Questioning the worth of your relationship also means you are in a confused state of mind.
You do not know whether you really want to walk out of the bonding or wish to give it a last try. Your overall relationship compatibility is under the scanner.
Some of the signs that help you clear the haze and confusion and allow you to know whether the relationship is worth saving or not are discussed here.
1. You cannot even think of leaving your partner
The first sign that shows that your relationship is worth saving is when you can’t even think of the idea of leaving your partner. You still share a deep love for him/her even if it’s not said in loud ways these days.
Maybe you people share common interests and passions that may help both in the long run. Just the thought of leaving your partner makes you feel lonely and scared all of a sudden. You are convinced that your relationship is still healthy and the small arguments and big fights can be tackled if you people spend more time with each other.
If this is your real thought right at this moment, then chances are high that you feel genuinely that your relationship should be saved. You and your partner should mend the broken threads and fix the issues going on.
2. You still enjoy the togetherness with your partner
A valid sign that shows your relationship is worth saving is when you love to spend time with your partner. Maybe you people are arguing with each other more often but still, he/she is your favorite person with whom you would prefer to spend most of your time.
You are still ready to go for a movie night or bask on the seashore on sunny days together. You still look forward to spending quality weekends with your partner and in spite of all the fights and arguments, differing opinions, and verbal blaming; you are ready to sort out the issues with them.
3. You and your partner are mad about all the wrong things
Evaluating relationships is not an easy task after all; because no relationships can be perfect and go by the rule book even if we want to make it happen that way. Differences in opinions between partners are evident and normal.
If you and your partner are questioning the worth of your relationship, it’s time to take a step back and reflect on the genuine issues that you people are fighting for. Most often, you people will realize that you are not worth fighting. You are arguing for trivial matters, small talks that are not worthy of a fight at all.
In reality, you and your partner are trying to establish your individual opinions more than a unified consensus. If you are fighting for the wrong things, it’s important to fix the issues immediately and think about saving the connection all over again.
4. It makes you sad when your partner shares their idea to move on
Well. Truly speaking, if you are not having any feelings for your partner right now, you won’t mind him/her packing the bag and moving out of the house. But what if your heart breaks when they share that they are done with the relationship? It is painful for you. Do you agree?
If the thought of them moving far away from your life makes you sad, and breaks you in pieces, then your relationship is worth saving. It makes you feel horrible and sick. You may experience a sudden emptiness deep inside you. You are determined to get back the loving intimacy into your life again.
5. Your problems are not specific to the relationship
When you are facing tense moments in your relationship, whether in a marriage or in a living-in partnership, you may think that the grass is greener on the other side. You could have got someone better than your present partner.
As things are challenging and mentally frustrating, it makes you anticipate happiness that is not real. You are searching for happiness elsewhere, maybe fantasizing about the unreal partners living in your mind who would be an ideal partner for you.
But, this is a myth. If you analyze the situation well, you will see that you also have a role to play in the misunderstandings caused.
Your problems may also surface with others. Thus, you need to fix your mistakes as soon as possible and make your tryouts to save the marriage. Realizing your shortfalls can help you know that your relationship is worth saving.
6. You people share the same core values
When you and your partner share the same life values and visions, it’s time to realize that the bonding is worth saving, even if misunderstandings and fights take place quite often.
You people can take an active role in sorting out the issues that appear cumbersome and overwhelming. It is okay to differ in several areas of life but that’s not the reason to break up and set your ways apart from your partner. If common grounds are present, your relationship is worth saving.
7. You are still not comfortable with the idea of a new partner
If you are not happy and comfortable seeking new partnerships or feel lonely at heart whenever you’re thinking of leaving your partner, it means that your relationship is worth saving.
The feeling suggests a deeper emotional connection that is still alive inside you. You are not ready to think about other people, not even the most talented and wealthy ones. It is simply because you still love your partner more than you think you do.
8. You mention breaking up only when annoyed and angry
During fights, your hurtful words matter the most to your partner. They may also take these personally and the matter can turn sour at any moment.
If you think that you speak harsh words, or abuse, and blame your partner only during the heat of the moment, then you should know that your relationship is worth saving.
You should apologize to your partner for your bad conduct and assure them that this behavior was just a momentary imbalance and not permanent toxicity in the relationship. Speaking calmly after things settled out helps in saving the bonding forever.
The only thing is you need to say ‘sorry’ if you know you are wrong. You can tell your partner that you did not mean what you said. It was just an angry outburst all of a sudden.
9. You are making silly complaints
Sometimes lack of proper communication between you and your partner can bring more disagreements into the scene. You may feel that they are not listening to you, or they are busy with their life and work and they are not giving time to you. These are silly issues that can be resolved very easily through proper communication.
Thus, if you feel that most of your daily complaints about your partner are silly and nothing serious, then your relationship needs a tryout. You can think about saving this worthy bond for your well-being.
10. You do not want to escalate the fights
When you have been dating your partner or living with him/her in a marriage relationship, it is probable that you know the nasty truths about them. Most often, you know their insecurities, drawbacks, fears, weaknesses, etc. However, you prefer not to raise these issues during the fights and squabbling that occurs between the two of you.
There is something that always holds you back from being too abusive. This is the love and mutual respect that you still have in your heart for the person. When this respect is on, you know that your relationship is worth saving.
11. You still have hopes to relit the lost spark in the relationship
If you feel that despite having so many individual differences in opinions and lifestyle, you people still have the slightest chemistry going on, then it means that your relationship is worth saving.
There are residual feelings of intimacy and attachment still alive in the bonding and you have a better chance of spicing up the relationship again. Both of you can spend quality time with one another and discuss varied ways of reviving the old passion in the relationship.
12. There is still humor and laughter left in the relationship
Humor and laughter create positive vibes in the relationship. If you have realized deep inside that you and your partner still laugh at each other’s jokes and wait for more humor day in and out, it means that you still share common interests and the relationship is worth saving; even if it seems to pass through rough patches.
Sometimes, arguments can make you feel toxic and you may think that it’s over. Then and there, if humor comes in, then the relationship can be looked at from fresh perspectives.
13. Both of you are willing to work together in the relationship
At times, when struggles and hardships set into your daily life, you may feel like giving up. The small adjustment issues can appear too big to be handled. However, if both of you sit together and talk about the ongoing issues, then fixing the problems becomes easy.
If both partners are willing to figure out the problems together and overcome them successfully, then it’s a sure sign that your relationship is worth saving. An honest try is all that you need to review the problems and sort out things peacefully.
14. There is a willingness to forgive each other’s mistakes
When you forgive your partner, you are actually doing more good to yourself than to your partner. In order to adjust well and save the relationship, it is important that you know how to ignore or overlook their trivial mistakes and forgive those big ones that really hurt you.
If forgiveness is present in the bonding and both partners allow openness and happiness to flow freely in the relationship, it’s a sure sign that the relationship is worth saving.
15. You and your partner share common life goals and vision
When you and your partner share common life goals and visions, it means you people know each other well. Thus, if slight differences surface, you people can mutually sort it out. Then, it’s a clear sign that your relationship is worth saving.
16. Your partner is not insulting you or dragging you down openly
When the arguments are not meant to insult you and your partner tries to hide the personal issues at home from the extended family and friends, it is a good sign that you people can surely work through your differences.
They do not insult you openly or try to expose your weaknesses openly. These signs are indicating that they still have feelings for you. You can think of reviewing the relationship again.
17. You can still be vulnerable with them
Another sign that suggests that your relationship is worth saving is when you are able to share all your fears, flaws, and secrets with your partner. You can open up with them without any restrictions or inhibitions.
If you have someone like this in your life, it means the relationship is precious. The arguments and disagreements between the two of you are much smaller than the love and trust that you people share. Thus, saving the relationship is worthy and important.
18. You’re still the best buddies
All great relationships start with intimate friendships. Probably you are still not ready to leave your best friend. If this is the case and you are still in double thoughts about your breakup, then it’s a sure sign that you want to save the relationship. You know that you cannot live without your best friend.
If you have got a lifelong friend who will be with you through thick and thin, it is always desirable to talk openly and resolve those minor and major issues that are problematic.
Appreciation and tolerance for each other’s good and ugly sides respectfully can help you save the bonding forever.
19. You and your partner still care for each other
Have you ever experienced a deep feeling that No matter how much your partner irritates you or gets on your nerves, you are annoyed only for the time being? You are always there to help him/her in tough times. You still have deep bonding that is full of care and concern for each other. If this is the case, be sure that the relationship is worth saving.
20. You’ll not give up on your partner
When you don’t seem to give up on your partner and try to hold on to the leftovers in the bonding, you should know that your relationship is worth saving. Maybe the minor differences will get resolved soon.
The major problems can also be sorted out with open dialogues between the two of you. If the relationship is not too damaging to continue, it’s worth working to save it, and nail it forever.
How can you get the spark back? Why is it worth it after all?
You will agree that the relationship is worth saving when both partners are ready to contribute and put their efforts to rebuild the lost connection. Sometimes, it may take months of hard work to rekindle the flame of love to come back again.
There could be situations when you would prefer to give up; as if feeling hurt and overwhelmed deep within. But if you have faith in yourself and in your partner, it’s worth it to put in more effort and save the relationship. It’s better to be with someone who already likes and loves you than to be with an unknown person who you do not even know completely.
There are certain things you can start doing right away to ignite the lost passion and intimacy between the two of you.
- Spend quality time together even if it means sipping coffee together
- Plan out-of-nowhere long dives and spontaneous date nights
- You can write a love letter and say it loud what’s there in your mind
- Accept before them that you also had your share of mistakes. Apologize and seek their forgiveness
- You can think of recreating the first date all over again
- Plan a vacation that you always wanted to visit together
- Talk to each other; listen patiently to each other’s woes and concerns. Let two hearts connect with loving words.
- Start a hobby together, something common that you both like. This improves adjustment and collaboration in both marriage and living-in relationships.
Summing Up from ‘ThePleasantRelationship’
When you know that your partner always turns to you in times of hardship, you know that the relationship is worth saving. Bad relationships will end on their own but your healthy relationships need to be kept with care and nurturing.
Since there are no set rules on whether the bonding will work out or not, you’ll have to do alterations every now and then to judge what works best for you and your partner. Stronger and healthy relationships move forward but with a lot of effort, patience, and honesty.
Are you interested to know more about ‘Truths about Love and Relationship’ then click here?
Chandrani is a former school psychologist and teacher by profession. She is a post graduate in Applied psychology with focus in clinical and health domains. Her passion for writing, kindled during school days have now become a full time freelancing endeavor. For her, writing is cathartic and keeps her mentally agile. Her lovable niches includes psychology, parenting, spirituality, lifestyle, and love and relationships. Her work depicts her perspectives about various experiences that she came across; unleashed a richer and deeper meaning of life. "Let me leave an aftertaste in the minds of few, if not many who need to find a path of absolute bliss, happiness, and inner peace."