40 Common Issues in Relationships and How to Solve Them

Are you facing some issues in relationships? Perhaps your long-term relationship doesn’t feel as exciting anymore? 

Or, your partner’s irresponsible nature is getting on your nerves? Whatever it is, understand that it is normal and you’re not alone.

No relationship is a walk in a flower garden. Your parents and grandparents have thrived all these years of love after a lot of arguments and compromises.

Think it’s too cruel to compromise all alone? Well, that’s why I’m here with this think-piece where you’ll find some possible solutions to your relationship issues.

Enough with the build-up, let’s finally dig into the…

Issues in Relationships Infographic

40 Issues in Relationships & How to solve them

Relationship issues might stem from a communication gap, an unhealthy behavior pattern, childhood trauma, or even due to the overwhelming lifestyle.

Depending on the relationship issues, your partner might or might not actively be responsible for the situation. 

Sometimes, it may appear to you that there’s no solution to this issue…

But let me tell you there is a solution to all relationship issues… it’s only about whether you’re wanting to invest so much effort.

1. Communication issues in relationships

Most of the problems in a relationship begin with poor communication.

For instance, if you like the toilet seat down but your partner always keeps it up, it can really piss you off on some days and lead to a big brawl among you two.

You two may also not talk to each other for days on end.

While you don’t talk with each other, your insecurities about the relationship grow, leading to further issues.

How to solve it?

• Practice good communication skills. Find good communication styles from books to incorporate into your life.
• Express your demands honestly and openly and allow your partner to express themselves the same way. Don’t interrupt each other, talk only when the other finishes
• Fix a time to check in with your partner. For instance, if you guys have dinner together, share how you felt about each other instead of only munching on food.
• Don’t raise your voices while communicating. If you can’t help it, go to a public place so you feel forced to keep it down.
• Respond with your body language, face towards them, make eye contact once in a while, make your partner feel heard. Keep away from distractions if you want to make this relationship work properly.

2. Money issues in relationships

Any healthy relationship can crumble down with different opinions about finances. Equally sharing finances work as long as you’re in the honeymoon phase.

Perhaps one of you spends too much from the joint account, or you don’t like how your partner spends on irrelevant objects. You need proper steps to prevent money from turning into relationship issues.

How to solve it?

• Before promising any equal spending of money, build some rules and boundaries about spending. Create a weekly or monthly budget for the household. Discuss how much each of you can spend and how to share the bill payments.
• Discuss saving plans together and focus on how much you aim to save each month. Decide how much of your savings will go to your parents’ aid.
• If your financial situation is bad, don’t force yourself to maintain a certain lifestyle. Figure out some compromises to make ends meet.
• If you’re drowning in debt, honestly confess before you marry a person. Hiding won’t save your relationship, if they must, they can leave any time.
• Communicate with your partner if they overspend, don’t blame them for ruining your finances. Don’t create a joint account if you’re not sure about their spending style.

3. Priority/Time issues in relationships

Perhaps, you or your partner prioritizes something else more than your relationship… it might be a promotion, a business deal, or even family members.

You focus so much on the surroundings that you neglect your relationship completely. Not making your relationship a priority is one of the common problems in long-term relationships.

How to solve it?

• Make efforts to catch up with your partner at the end of the day
• Your priorities aren’t yours alone, so share your day with each other… what went well, and what didn’t.
• Notice if your partner needs you but can’t reach out because you’re busy.
• Voice out your concerns like “I didn’t give you enough time in the last few days, how are you doing?”
• If you need their help, ask them instead of expecting them to come forward. They’re busy but they never refuse help, so ask whatever you need.

4. Taken-for-granted issues in relationships

Another common relationship problem for long-term couples is taking each other for granted. Perhaps you’re dealing with lots of things in your life and have no time for your partner.

You may not do it intentionally, however, you’re so busy handling life that you forget about your commitment.

You miss out on your partner’s activities throughout the day and vice versa.

Even though you have the same goals, relationship issues stem from not updating each other.

With time you overlook the little efforts of your spouse because you were busy… and that’s when the “end” comes knocking at your door.

How to solve it?

• Don’t assume your relationship will last.  Always remember your partner has other choices, so if you don’t value them, someone else will.
• Don’t expect your partner’s support all the time. They’ll always be there for you, but this doesn’t give you the liberty to ignore it. They have better things to do in life… but they chose to be beside you because of their commitment to the relationship.  
• Plan surprise date nights. Spending time will remind them that you still care about them and value their efforts. Don’t expect them to make the first move.
• Keep them in the loop throughout the day. A short “I love you” or “I miss you” won’t take up too much time in your busy schej and remind them that they’re always on your mind. Don’t always expect a loving text from your partner, be proactive.
• Keep your gadgets aside and indulge in pillow talk. You don’t always need sex to make your partner feel special. Drift off to dreamland while you hold them close and thank them for staying beside you.

5. Trust issues in relationships

Lack of trust in a relationship can threaten its foundation. However, many think trust issues stem from infidelity – which isn’t the case.

Your partner might be a pathological liar and you have difficulties believing whatever they say. Perhaps, you double-check whatever they say and they take offense.

Or, you might have trust issues because of a cheating partner in a previous relationship. Rebuilding trust isn’t easy, after all.

Or, you lied once and that hurt your partner too intensely.

How to solve it?

• Never hide anything from your spouse. Don’t break promises, if you’re late for some reason, call them earlier and keep them from overthinking.
• Don’t remind them of old fights when things go wrong, Else they’ll feel it’s a payback for previous issues.
• Rebuild trust with active listening. Listen to them before you assume things.
• If anything appears wrong, don’t blow up without knowing their side. A person overcoming trust issues is still healing, talk to them calmly if you feel something is wrong.
• When you have disagreements, resolve the conflicts calmly. Be firm on your point but never say anything hurtful – you can’t take back words – be kind to your partner while communicating.

6. Chore distribution issues in relationships

When people live together, all your responsibilities multiply. More laundry, dishes, cooking, etc… everything increases and it becomes impossible to handle everything alone.

Moreover, a person who has always done chores for one person may become frustrated due to the increased workload.

Also, it’s unfair to always impose on one partner for the chores.

Perhaps, your partner is a homemaker and you think that’s their job while you earn money outside.

Well, it won’t hurt to help them sometimes… at least you get off on the weekends, but what about the homemaker?

How to solve it?

• Divide the chores proportionally. If only one person is employed between you two, the employed one can help out on off days. If you’re both employed, split the chores equally. If one of you works from home, they can handle chores more conveniently.
• If anybody misses a chore, remind them to do it, don’t bicker over it. The one – who missed the chore – must take care of it immediately if there’s no emergency.
• If neither of you likes cleaning, contact the cleaning facility.
• If both of you obsess over a certain chore and want to monopolize it, do it on alternate days. 
• Make a weekly chart of chores if you’re sharing all of them… who takes out the trash, does the laundry. Stick the chart in a visible space. This can help you remind yourself to do certain chores and prevent fights.

7. Appreciation issues in relationships

When was the last time you said thank you to your partner? Perhaps you forgot those magical words since you’re living under the same roof?

During date nights, do you give compliments to each other?

When you overlook your partner’s effort or when you don’t compliment or appreciate their efforts, doubts and suspicions arise about your relationship.

Your partner feels they aren’t enough or you don’t love them anymore, which leads to other issues too.

How to solve it?

• When your partner cooks food for you or picks the kid from the school, show your gratitude… don’t ignore it because it’s their duty.
• When your partner gets a makeover, compliment them. Show them your heart still flutters at their sight.
• If your partner returns late after a hard day at work, talk to them about their day, draw them a warm bath, or even wake up and reheat their food. Your presence will reassure them.
• When your partner can’t do some duty because of proper reasons, tell them you understand it’s hard and you’ll cover for them once. Don’t burst with anger because they can’t keep their word. Appreciate and understand their stance.
• Exchange encouraging words with each other daily to show that you’re still on the same team.

8. Goals issues in relationships

Young healthy couples are usually ambitious, they want to do something to make each other proud, and often in the process, the relationship takes a backseat.  

However, with time and life experiences, people and their goals change… and there’s nothing wrong about it.

Perhaps a person focuses more on their child after childbirth than their romantic relationship or career.

Or, someone loses motivation to work harder in their occupation after the loss of a loved one.

In the course of your relationship, if you lose sight of common goals, your chances of parting ways multiply.

How to solve it?

• When you change your goals, share them with your partner, keep them onboard about your decisions. Share why you changed your goals and views on life.
• Before quitting your job for a start-up business, make sure you talk to your partner about the current situation of the household. Don’t expect them to handle everything… they might expect the same from you.
• While disclosing your decisions, your partner might ask you to think things through. Don’t get defensive, perhaps there’s some underlying issue to take care of. Trust your partner’s actions, they want the best for you
• If you think your partner’s decision isn’t right, tell them how. Be definite about what you say instead of invalidating their thoughts and emotions completely.
• When goals change, people don’t decide to ditch a loving relationship overnight… It feels wrong bit by bit for days. So whenever anything feels off, communicate.

9. Sex issues in relationships

The next common issue couples face is a mismatched libido. Sex life issues can be huge deal breakers for your relationship.

If you have a higher libido than your partner, you’ll always feel dissatisfied.

Or, the type of sex each of you wants is different, it will leave both the partners craving for their kind of sex outside of a relationship.

Despite the mismatch, giving up on your sex life without any valid hormonal or medical issues is not a solution.

Sex can boost feel-good hormones and help create deeper bonds. However, a sexless bond makes you both feel emotionally distant.

How to solve it?

• Discuss both of your preferred sexual needs. Incorporate all kinds of sexual activities you both like into your routine to satisfy you both.
• Plan sex dates. Think it will take the charm away? Instead, planning will keep you both thinking of the possibilities and get you more excited.
• If you can’t have sex because of responsibilities like old parents or children, consider hiring a caretaker or babysitter on some days. Show each other that you still desire them sexually.
• If you can’t give the responsibilities of loved ones to others, then simply make do with any chances you get. Perhaps the children are at school, or your parents are taking a nap. Make time for each other without any excuse.
• When working on your relationship – sexually – becomes hard, consider a sex therapist. They can even help you find what can work for you both if you can’t.

10. Intimacy issues in relationships

Everyone ages with time… and unfortunately youthful sex life doesn’t last forever. Women experience menopause, men experience erectile dysfunction.

Some people have the same definition for intimacy and sex… and that’s where a sexless relationship goes downhill.

Intimacy is way beyond the union through sex. It can be nonsexual physical contact, emotional, or even spiritual.

How to solve it?

• Give each other back rubs, cuddles, scalp massages, hugs, and kisses for physical intimacy.
• Communicate with each other openly about how you feel about your relationship. Share your fears about the lack of sex for emotional intimacy.
• Practice yoga, meditation, or even participate in religious acts together to build spiritual intimacy.
• Discuss matters about work, your or your child’s studies, or even some interesting book to build intellectual intimacy.
• Participate together in indoor activities like cooking, cleaning, or even a round of chess, and outdoor activities like grocery shopping, dropping/picking the kids together, or even a hike.

11. Parenting issues in relationships

Having a child can be the best thing in your relationship until you drown in responsibilities. Children are so cute that they can make your heart melt, but they need care, 24/7.

In fact, many couples face difficulties leading a normal life after childbirth because they feel unattractive to their partner as they don’t have any intimate time for themselves… which results in misunderstandings among healthy couples.

Moreover, some couples have fights about how many children they want, the education styles, or even parenting styles.

Whenever the child makes a mistake, the couples fight instead of managing the situation.

How to solve it?

• Before you rear a family, discuss how many children you want, at what age gaps.
• Preferred parenting styles usually depend on everyone’s childhood experience. Since your partner didn’t experience the same, they won’t understand your stance. Discuss how you want to raise the child.
• When both of you have different beliefs or values, educating a child can be hard, discussing your values to find out what’s the best for their future.
• If you already have children, send them over to cram school, or relatives’ place to bond with your partner. If you’re expectant parents, talk to your GYN about when you can get sexually intimate safely.
• Discuss how you’ll deal with conflict. Resolve the conflicts respectfully in front or away from your child. Your behavior will impact a child’s mental growth and habits too.

12. Expectation issues in relationships

Unfortunately, human beings do have unrealistic expectations from their life partners. You can’t NOT expect too much, because that’s how humans are built.

You want them to mentor you, support you, be your best friend, a perfect parent, a perfect son/daughter-in-law… other than your lover.

Even if you try yourself, you can’t achieve all of these at once, so isn’t that unfair to your partner?

And when they can’t meet your impractical expectations, you fight, blame them for mishaps, misunderstand their intentions… and it destroys your relationship.

How to solve it?

• Verbally convey your expectations to your partner. Notice how they react, if they’re comfortable with your demands. Don’t pick a fight if they can’t comply with everything.
• Sometimes, your partner will fail to keep promises. Perhaps it was out of their capabilities but they still tried. Don’t disapprove of failed attempts, at least they didn’t refuse your feelings.
• Can you meet your own expectations? Ask yourself if it’s possible. If you can’t, understand that they’re human too. If you can and your partner can’t, help yourself. Teach your partner to assist you, if possible.
• Never expect your partner to understand your unsaid desires. If you really need something, ask them directly, never beat around the bush.
• If you have anger issues and can’t seem to calm down even when you know they aren’t at fault, seek a therapist.

13. Jealousy issues in relationships

Jealousy doesn’t always arise when your partner gets lots of attention from potential partners… you might feel jealous when your partner climbs up the ladder of success faster than you.

A little pang of jealousy can boost your zeal to impress your partner better or become more productive in the workplace. However, most couples don’t follow that route.

They’ll pry in their partner’s social media, messages, and fight on trivial matters. Jealousy is another grave issue that can kill a relationship if not tended to well.

How to solve it?

• Jealousy and trust issues are somewhat linked. Perhaps your broken trust from past or present relationships led to jealousy. If something bothers you, be transparent about it.
• Talk to your partner when you hate others talking to them. They’ll reassure you about your position in their life.
• If it’s jealousy about professional life, speak up. They might give you some tips they used in their life.
• Transparency in relationships develops trust… so always be honest with your partner. Allow your partner to know you once more.
• Investigating your partner’s social media is immoral. If you always have such urges, go for couples counseling. A professional will find a better solution for obsessive jealousy.

14. Attachment issues in relationships

You don’t choose to have attachment issues in your life, it’s not your choice but a learned behavior throughout your life.

Usually, it’s a result of the type of relationship you had with a parent figure.

You might feel like monopolizing your partner, their circle, the amount of time they spend outside, their activities… all because of attachment issues.

While it looks sweet that your partner is always on your mind, with time it becomes a pain to comply, and couples separate because they can’t take it anymore.

How to solve it?

• Honestly communicate with your partner and urge them to be honest too. Make some rules about speaking upfront whenever you feel the other is smothering them with their attachment style. Both sides prioritize it simultaneously, else the relationship will go downhill.
• Refrain from monopolizing one another. Don’t stop each other from living their life as long as you stay loyal.
• Spending time apart will show your capabilities. Nurture yourself with new hobbies when you’re apart. Don’t let your mind sit idle and overthink.
• If you need more time, ask them directly instead of getting in one another’s way. Use more “I” statements because it is all about you.
• Bare your causes of attachment issues. Talk about what happened in your childhood and what led to this situation. Perhaps they’ll suggest a better way to deal with it. Or, book a consultation with a licensed marriage and family therapist.

15. Daddy issues in relationships

If you didn’t have a father since childhood, or your father didn’t take your responsibilities, you might constantly seek fatherly love in your life.

It’s not always negative… Some people with daddy issues eventually become the best caregiver because they know what they needed in their childhood.

However, sometimes people become needy, possessive, sex-addict, or seek older lovers. Usually, the person with daddy issues gets into relationships to fill a void, and not for love.

How to solve it?

• Urge the partner with daddy issues to express their sadness. Their younger self needed attention, nobody cared for them, so wash away the pain in your tears.
• Identify behavior patterns from daddy issues and calmly discuss how to suppress such behaviors.
• Replace the behaviors from daddy issues with healthier alternatives. If you seek older men to fill in a gap, stop and look back if you’re really happy… you’ll get your answers.
• Reassure the sufferer that they didn’t deserve how their father treated them, it wasn’t their fault. Some people blame themselves for their father’s absence.
• Seek couples’ counseling when nothing works out.

16. Compatibility issues in relationships

Two people with different beliefs and values can fall in love, accept each other as they are, and make a successful relationship. However, that’s not how it usually is.

When two people have something in common, they bond harmoniously… They can also understand each other better.

But, conflicting religious, political, or lifestyle beliefs and values will lead to relationship issues.

How to solve it?

• Before you fall in love too deeply or marry someone, discuss your difference in opinions. How will you handle it when your favorite football team wins and theirs loses. Will you rub it on their face or keep your celebrations down?
• Limit opposing beliefs to the concerned topic only. Don’t pull them into your relationship. For instance, you’re a vegan, your partner loves non-veg. Share the benefits of veganism, but don’t say they’re a bad person for having meat.
• You might not have much in common… but there will be minute common interests. Focus on the commons more than the differences. If you love them, you’ll constantly seek ways to bond, so use the common interests.
• Building trust is another way to beat incompatibility. Make your partner feel you won’t hurt them when they’re low. Show it with your actions, don’t just say it.
• Accept the differences, show tolerance towards their different likes. You might not eat pork yourself, but if they’re happy, let them have it. Respect each other’s choices and beliefs.

17. Support issues in relationships

Sometimes life flows in completely unexpected ways. For instance, you know you’ll get promoted and there’s nobody else who worked as hard as you.

However, somebody else got it and you’re devastated.

You break down and need a hug from your partner. However, your partner can’t spare a moment because they’re busy with their professional life too.

If you relate with this scenario, you possibly hold deep resentment against your partner for not supporting you during the darkest hours.

You question the meaning of your bond, feel insecure, think they don’t care or love you anymore. Support issues can even weaken healthy couples.

How to solve it?

• Perhaps your partner doesn’t understand how to deal with such situations, so teach them. Ask them for a hug, tell them you need them to get over a situation. Promote verbal communication to understand one another’s needs better.
• Understand their stance, perhaps they’re in the middle of something urgent and aren’t emotionally stable to care for you. Perhaps their parents aren’t doing well, or something’s wrong at their workplace.
• Promote gentle verbal refusal with proper explanation when either of you can’t support the other. Being clear about your situation can reduce unnecessary misunderstandings.
• Talk to your friends and family when your partner is unavailable. Don’t expect one person to be capable of everything.
• Write a journal when nobody has time. Sometimes, people are busy and can’t make time. It seems coincidental that everyone is preoccupied on your bad days… but you can’t help it.

18. Addiction issues in relationships

If you’re in love with an addicted partner, it’s going to be extremely tough to make the relationship work.

Moreover, if the addicted partner loses their sense of rationality for their addiction, various issues can arise alongside.

They might steal from the household budget, snatch away your hard-earned money, or even destroy funds for your child.

This is a challenging issue and most couples part ways when things look too bleak.

How to solve it?

• Communicate with your sober partner about how their actions affect your life, household, or other loved ones. Don’t scream, or blame them, keep your voice low so they don’t get the wrong implication. Ask them if they really don’t care about it.
• They might feel regretful about the situation after communicating about it. Suggest them couples’ counseling to fight the issues together… you’re also a victim of your situation, don’t neglect yourself.
• Notice what triggers their addiction. Is it trouble from personal or professional life? Learn the triggers to avoid them or soothe them whenever the situation arises.
• While your partner heals from addiction, don’t contact people who disrespect them for their habits. They’re at fault, but they’re trying, so stay connected with supportive loved ones.
• Encourage them to change when they give in to addiction, don’t show disappointment for failed attempts. However, don’t stay back if there’s abuse.

19. Ignoring issues in relationships

When you or your partner ignore each other, spend too much time on yourself or your friends, don’t involve each other at all in life decisions, insecurities bud in your relationship.

Perhaps, you’re unhappy with something, give them the silent treatment and completely forget to remind them about the family reunion.

Your partner gets hurt and returns you the cold shoulder. This deepens the crack in your relationship.

How to solve it?

• Do the opposite – ignoring won’t help you – discuss the dissatisfying factors in your relationship.
• Listen to each other properly, let them finish talking before you say anything.
• Spend quality time to understand each other’s needs.
• Take each other out to meet friends and family.
• Even if you ignore it out of habit, reassure your partner that it’s nothing worrisome and you’ll make up after taking some time.

20. Estrangement issues in relationships

Two people deeply in love don’t become strangers overnight… It’s a gradual process that shakes the relationship groundwork.

Perhaps, you both focused so much on building a career, buying the dream house, upbringing children, and so many other things that you both forgot about yourselves.

Estrangement issues stem when you both are unaware. Five years down the lane you feel you don’t know your spouse and this realization hits you on the face.

Since you both were equally happy about your decisions, it’s hard to figure out where things went wrong.

How to solve it?

• Invest time in your relationship. Go out on vacations and dates. Even if you have greater commitments, make time for each other.
• Watch shows together and discuss which part touched your heart or what made you angry. Or, simply talk about how your day went. Perhaps your co-worker got married and it reminded you of your wedding vows.
• Retake your vows if you’re married, or make your own to deepen the bonds. Celebrate your anniversaries and birthdays together… don’t lose the fleeting moments of happiness.
• Share your goals with each other. Perhaps you’re financially stable enough to quit your job and build a business. You don’t need your partner’s permission but still share the info, including them in the journey.
• Don’t just say “I love you”, use your love language to show it.

21. Control issues in relationships

If your partner expects you to be a typical partner, forces you to change, treats you well only when you please them, they’re manipulative, toxic, and have control issues.

In such relationships, you lose freedom, self-esteem, and confidence. The relationship becomes burdensome and takes a toll on your emotional and physical wellness.

How to solve it?

• Your partner possibly faced several breaches of trust to become controlling. Ask them about their past to dig out the real causes.
• Tell them that you want to work out this relationship but can’t behave like a puppet. Set healthy boundaries about what they can or can’t interfere in.
• Adhere to couples’ or individual counseling if communication doesn’t work out. Your partner must be willing to change too.
• Try relaxing exercises like yoga and meditation. Read good books about good communication skills and healthy relationships together.
• The controlling partner must be open to accept the situation and accept how their partner is. If a controlling partner doesn’t want to change, take some space and consider separation.

22. Pace issues in relationships

You might think that it’s too early to propose and that your finances aren’t stable for making a family. Your partner might be already dreaming about the number of kids they want.

Sometimes even the most compatible couples aren’t on the same page which leads to misunderstandings, conflict, frustration, or even breakups.

How to solve it?

• Communicate with your partner about everything. How else will you know about their dreams?
• Bad at verbal communication? Make a list of what you want in your relationship… and exchange the lists.
• Checkmark whatever looks good to you and discuss the rest. Explain why something’s not possible in your relationship. Settle for something that’ll work for you both.
• Create new goals that work for both of you and work hard on them.
• If you want a future together, but they need time, patiently wait. Be more tolerant of their needs.

23. Conflict issues in relationships

Fights are natural for healthy relationships but do you feel your relationship is a repeat telecast of a pathetic drama?

Stuck at the same point in your relationship while everyone else moves forward?

If that’s the case, you might feel frustrated and unhappy about your relationship… perhaps even consider breaking things off?

Fighting about the same thing implies you didn’t resolve the issue yet.

How to solve it?

• During a fight, mind your language. Do you try to get back at them for hurting you? Or, do you truly try to resolve the conflicts?
• Don’t mingle past issues with current ones. Resolve past conflicts separately from the current ones. Otherwise, you only build a worse situation.
• Don’t curse them or their loved ones, keep things civil, don’t blame them. Rather seek the causes behind a certain situation to solve it.
• Your conflict management style might be faulty. Perhaps, you don’t allow your partner to talk while you do. Or, you don’t care as long as you get to pour your heart out.
• If you’re at fault, apologize. If you can’t get over their hurtful actions, seek a marriage counselor and learn to forgive them.

24. Responsibility issues in relationships

A relationship is full of responsibilities starting from each other’s welfare, children’s wellness, proper budget management, to even taking care of each other’s parents.

Not taking your responsibilities seriously or unevenly distributing responsibilities can become a detrimental issue in your relationship.

How to solve it?

• Begin the discussion without blaming else they’ll take it offensively and your communication will be fruitless.
• Tell them how the current situation has put you at a disadvantage.
• Allow them to speak in their defense… perhaps it’s not petty excuses and they really have something on.
• Forgive them and give them another shot. Believe that they can and will change. Support the change with encouraging words.
• List down the responsibilities so they don’t forget anything. Sometimes, innocent forgetfulness leads to huge fights.

25. Infidelity issues in relationships

One of the devastating relationship issues which promise high chances of separations is infidelity.

Nearly half of the American divorces are because of it. About 4 out of 10 unmarried couples had an infidelity situation once in their relationship.

Also, most couples never have a conversation about their definition of cheating. You might think nonsexual flirting isn’t cheating, your partner might not.

Your partner might think the emotional connection with others is cheating, you don’t.

How to solve it?

• Discuss what infidelity or cheating means to each of you. Identify what’s off-limits for each of you.
• If you or your partner have already cheated, the other must think about what they want. Do you need space to process things, a chance to rebuild trust, or call things off? Think wisely with a clear mind.
• The cheating partner must think why they cheated… was it for the thrill, dissatisfaction in the relationship, or to hurt your partner?  If it was a mistake, consider asking for forgiveness.
• If the cheated partner can’t cope with the situation, consider couples counseling. Also, seek therapy to treat cheating urges.
• Nobody learned to trust in one day, and it’s harder to build broken trust. So, give it time if you wish to make the relationship work.

26. Attraction issues in relationships

When you find the one of your dreams, you dream of building a unique relationship, and living a happily-ever-after… only if you’re monogamous.

However, you might find out way later that you’re into ethical non-monogamy (ENM)… however, your partner isn’t.

You keep your random flings a secret because you don’t want to hurt your partner, but it only instills trust issues in your partner.

How to solve it?

• If you’re into ENM, talk to your partner. Your partner learned to trust you through this relationship… it didn’t come easy… don’t break it.
• If you feel attracted to someone, don’t take them to bed. Communicate with your partner about how you felt, give them examples of your feelings.
• Your partner might or might not accept your feelings. Think about what you want in your relationship. What’s more precious – ENM or your current relationship?
• Never force your partner to accept an open relationship or cheat on your partner. There’s no meaning in forcing a relationship.
• Think about what attracted you to the other person, try role-playing with your partner. Perhaps, you’re more into the thrill of an extra-marital affair than ENM.

27. Monotony issues in relationships

For most people, relationships are fun and flowery only in the honeymoon phase. Beyond that, everything loses its charm… you feel that your relationship stops you from being the real you.

You can’t hang out with friends because someone expects you home, can’t scream your lungs out while gaming because your partner is sleeping, can’t bring over friends because it’ll disturb your partner and children.

This leads to pent-up resentment issues in relationships.

How to solve it?

• Perhaps your partner is fine with you having boys/girls’ night-outs. Ask them what they feel about it, or if it will be convenient for them.
• Plan double dates with your friends. You spend time with your friends while bonding with your partner.
• Drop your partner and the children at your parents’ place if you want a friends’ party at your place… take your partner’s consent before it.
• Recreate your first date or a favorite scene from a movie. Ask your partner to join you and find something interesting themselves.
• Send the children to their grandparents’, spend quality time with your spouse. Both of you must participate equally in this.

28. Dependency issues in relationships

When you fall in love, you want to involve them in every moment of your life… it feels pretty good to multiply your happiness that way.

However, relationship dependency can be of two types… interdependency – where you balance the dependence on each other, depend on each other to thrive.

The second is codependency wherein – your happiness depends on them, you don’t feel worthy unless they praise you.

Codependency strips off your individuality, independence, confidence, and leads to many mental disorders.

How to solve it?

• While you love spending time with your partner, also spend some time loving yourself. Go for a hike, rock-climbing, parasailing, or any exotic activities all alone.
• Spend time with loved ones while they’re busy with their friends. Some people other than your partner make you happy… like parents, best friends, or even cousins.
• Try solving your problems yourself before you reach out to your partner. Instead of asking for their help, take hints to help yourself. Also, tell them to hold back from extending the helping hand.
• Create a journal full of dreams that are only about you. Work towards fulfilling your desires that don’t need or involve your partner.
• The non-codependent partner must ask for solutions from the codependent one. Reversing roles will help the codependent partner grow even while their partner is around.

29. Influence issues in relationships

Despite how happy you feel in your relationship, outsiders will always find fault in it. Your aunt might disapprove of your spouse and insist on getting a divorce because you deserve a richer partner.

Their grandparents might disapprove of you because you don’t take enough care of your partner. Or, even their friends might suggest that your partner missed many hotties for you.

Outsiders get under your skin and create issues in your relationship.

How to solve it?

• Disregard outsiders’ opinions. Channel your thoughts to how you feel. If you feel good, everything’s fine.
• When someone disses your partner, stand up for them. Never let anyone get away after disrespecting your partner. Both of you must follow the same process.
• If you realize you had fights because of their influence, come clean to your partner, apologize and tell them the reason behind your outburst. Don’t expect them to understand you without any explanation.
• Don’t spend too much time with people who always diss your relationship.
• If you fight with your partner, never share the news with such people. They live on gossip and wait to sabotage relationships.

30. Companionship issues in relationships

Your childhood friends might behave like a jerk to your partner or vice versa… because they can’t do “single” things anymore.

Despite your partner’s mental disapproval of your friends, they can’t say much. So, instead, they feel deep resentment against your friends for taking you astray.

The resentment and suppressed emotions result in grave issues in the relationship.

How to solve it?

• Talk to each other about what you dislike about the other’s friends. Explain what exactly makes you fear their companionship.
• If your partner expresses concern about your friends’ circle, assure them about your commitment to the relationship.
• Plan getaways where you two can know each other’s friends properly and remove any misunderstandings.
• Spend more time with your partner than your friends. Sometimes attention can solve certain issues.
• Understand that neither of you can break friendships, but certainly give a heads-up about your location when you’re with your friends.

31. Score issues in relationships

If you or your partner gets back at each other for age-old issues, you have a mental score about their mistakes.

You seek chances to get even with them at every instant, you’re stuck in the past.

Soon you’ll feel that you’re better off without the negativity of your relationship… and go separate ways.

How to solve it?

• If there are any unresolved issues from the past, solve them as soon as possible. Don’t allow old memories to stop you from making new ones.
• If anything disturbs you today, resolve the conflict now instead of leaving it until a suitable time. Even if you’re both busy, give them a hint that you need to talk.
• Don’t connect any previous matter with a new one, unless you have proof. For instance, your partner works until late. Then you saw them talking to an unknown woman on the subway. Communicate calmly without jumping to conclusions.
• Forgive them if they did wrong to you, and yourself for allowing them to. Seek a therapist if you can’t bear to forgive them.
• If you made a mistake that led to the current situation, apologize and do your best to rebuild trust in your relationship.

32. Adjustment issues in relationships

Relationships work with compromise… otherwise, no two unique people can make a relationship work. However, how much compromise is enough for you?

Perhaps you compromise about certain situations but aren’t willing to honestly. Or, the amount of adjustment feels like a burden.

Or, your partner is a complete klutz when it comes to adjustments and you end up compromising all the time.

Whether it’s an inadequate or forceful adjustment, this is another deal-breaking relationship issue.

How to solve it?

• When things don’t seem too bright, communicate gently. Tell them what’s wrong and find a solution together.
• Don’t blame them for not adjusting enough or making you adjust too much. Rather tell them what’s dissatisfying you and what can help you fix the situation. Whether you need them to do the dishes at night or rub your feet, ask instead of blaming.
• Understand that your partner might not always intentionally avoid adjustment. But whenever they do, gently point it out. Don’t wait until your next fight.
• Check-in with each other from time to time to know their feelings about the relationship dynamic.
• When either of you can’t compromise for certain reasons, the other must have their back – you’re both on the same team. Don’t work against each other.

33. Security issues in relationships

Sometimes you might feel insecure randomly without any reason. Or, perhaps your friend’s divorce after a ten-year-long marriage shook you to the core.

Also, not knowing what your partner has in mind makes you anxious.

Despite your confessions, if your casual date needs more time… insecurities crawl into your bed. Also, you might live in the moment, your partner might not.

Perhaps they can’t wait to buy a house, but don’t know what you’re thinking. Usually, such issues revolve around the future.

How to solve it?

• Don’t spill your thoughts too early in the relationship. Take time to understand their intentions about you.
• Communicate with “I always wanted to settle down, what do you think?” Ask open-ended questions to know about their feelings.
• Never pressure them into doing something. Even if there was a chance, pressure will ruin it.
• Share your future plans and urge them to open up. It will take time, so don’t share all of your dreams in one day.
• If they promise you a future together, learn to trust them. If you still feel insecure, time to share that.

34. Socializing issues in relationships

You might be an extrovert, your partner might feel uncomfortable making small talk.

Suppose, you went to a party, introduced your partner to others, but they want to bail out of the situation badly.

You feel hurt about their behavior or even misunderstand it as disrespectful behavior towards your acquaintances.

Well, perhaps they didn’t do it intentionally, but you hold a grudge for not playing along.

You avoid parties because your partner can’t adjust with them… however, they are uncomfortable because of their introverted nature.

How to solve it?

• If you’re an introvert, admit it. If you suspect your partner to be one, ask them. Make sure you know each other’s reasons before assuming things.
• Don’t force an introvert into tough situations where they must socialize.
• When you find your partner uncomfortable talking to someone, join the conversation to save the day.
• If you love socializing, find other common interests to strengthen your relationship.
• Learn to understand and cover for each other’s shortcomings with time. After all, socializing isn’t everything in life.

35. Boundary issues in relationships

You and your partner have different boundaries about different aspects of your life. For instance, you might like calling your partner during work, your partner might feel distracted and not stand it.

You both have certain things you can’t and won’t tolerate in your life.

However, your partner might not be aware and cross the boundaries multiple times… and it bothers you so much that you wonder why you like them.

How to solve it?

• Allow your partner to know your dislikes. If you don’t like them checking your DMs, tell them. Don’t hide your dislikes because they might not like it.
• Create a list of boundaries if you can think of a few things you want your partner to maintain.
• If you can’t, learn together about each other’s boundaries.
• Ask their reasons behind boundaries if it bothers you. Don’t assume things on your own.
• Never cross boundaries to get back at them for their mistakes… It complicates the situation.

36. Feedback issues in relationships

If your partner hates it when you give them genuine feedback about their life, things can get tough in your relationship.

Perhaps they always take things negatively and act defensively.

How to solve it?

• Share that you mean no harm with your feedback, that you only want them to grow.
• Ask for their feedback too, this way they’ll learn to give constructive feedback.
• Show them how to apply constructive criticism to progress in life.
• Control the amount or rate of feedback you give in a day.
• Don’t give constructive feedback in public, it feels insulting in public places.

37. Rebound issues in relationships

If your partner still misses an ex, that’s mighty hurting to you. In fact, you might have many other issues on this list like insecurities, and trust issues.

They might reunite with the ex, cheat on you… or even use you as a replacement. However, if you knew about it from the beginning, they’re fair to you.

How to solve it?

• Confess about your feelings. Whether you feel hurt, or need their complete focus, ask them.
• Gently tell them that they left their ex in the past for a reason, and there’s no reason to miss them.
• Suggest them to do something distracting whenever they go down in a spiral of their crush’s thoughts.
• Speak to a marriage and family therapist if things seem don’t work out.
• Settle on respecting their mourning time, but don’t allow them to think more than that.

38. Abandonment issues in relationships

If your parent figure didn’t give enough support or assurance in your childhood, you might have abandonment issues.

Perhaps your caregiver didn’t allow you to express yourself or belittle you or even pressured you with perfectionism.

And now, you always try to please your partner due to the fear of them abandoning you.

Abandonment issues house other issues like mistrust, jealousy, insecurities, controlling nature, or adjusting too much.

How to solve it?

• Voice your issues and fears to your partner, tell them what bothers you, what drives your actions.
• If you need verbal reassurance, ask for it directly.
• Do things that you genuinely enjoy. The partner must focus on the abandoned person’s enjoyment to boost their confidence in the relationship.
• Allow the abandoned to focus on expressing themselves more. Urge them to be expressive.
• Seek a mental health therapist if the trauma seems incurable.

39. Mommy issues in relationships

If you had a strenuous relationship with your mother, she abused, neglected, or manipulated you in childhood, you might suffer from mommy issues. 

This usually shows up in relationships in the form of commitment phobia, trust issues, unhealthy expectations from a partner, or even trouble setting boundaries. 

How to solve it?

• Discuss with your partner about your mother’s dysfunctional parenting styles
• Seek couples’ therapy to treat the condition together
• Discuss healthy boundary setting practices with your therapist
• Include your mother in the sessions if possible
• Learn skills to develop healthy relationships in life 

40. Perspective issues in relationships

Perhaps your partner always sees things negatively or the downside of any situation. However, you always try to cheer them up with other possibilities. 

Every time you talk about the bright side of a situation, your partner says “You don’t understand me.” They push you away because of their pessimism and block any optimistic approach from you. 

How to solve it?

• During communicating, let them state all the negative factors in their mind. Allow them to put out everything in their head before you begin talking.
• Suggest something only once you feel it will not impact the existing situation negatively. But if they still find the suggestions useless, ask them which part is lacking.
• Don’t impose your beliefs on your partner or disregard their beliefs. They have seen their fair share of life and have their reasons. 
• Practice optimism together. Write positivity journals about the good occurrences throughout the day. Give each other a pep-talk in the morning. Immerse your soul in self-love. If nothing works, discuss attending therapy together.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Despite the kind of relationship issues, save your relationship with baby steps, good communication skills, and active listening. 

However, never take the budding issues lightly. Even a dispute over chores can result in huge misunderstandings and discontentment later on. 

The more you let things slide, the more you feel your relationship is unfair. 

Handle the issues in your relationship with elegance. No blaming, no shaming, be an honest responsible person, and keep the negative feelings aside when you talk.

Remember that you can’t take back poisonous words… they’ll always be there in your partner’s mind to create more issues. Have faith in each other to overcome any hardships.

Consider couples’ therapy when it’s too hard… and never compromise with an abusive relationship. Prioritize yourself if your partner doesn’t comply.