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How to Get a Girlfriend in 30 Easy Steps

How to Get a Girlfriend in 30 Easy Steps

Updated on May 27, 2022 | Published on Dec 31, 2021

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

How to Get a Girlfriend in 30 Easy Steps

So, you’re looking for tips on how to get a girlfriend?

Perhaps, your middle school crush friend-zoned you and you still aren’t over it? 

Don’t lose hope, because you’ll rediscover your confidence today!

So, what if you don’t understand the latest norms of dates and relationships? 

This article is stuffed with 30 extremely good ideas and step-by-step dating tips to help you board your relationship plan, right away.

With social media giving you surplus opportunities for online dating, people hardly know what to do when you meet a girl in person.

Don’t worry, I don’t think you’ll need anything else to get a girlfriend, whether you date online or offline! Let me teach you…:

How to Get a Girlfriend in 30 Easy Steps
How to Get a Girlfriend in 30 Easy Steps

How to get a girlfriend? – 30 Steps

When you decide to get a girlfriend, you must ensure that you understand your girl’s feelings and emotions.

If your expectations match and you agree to her demands before you’re halfway through the journey, that’s a great sign.

You need to do more than just explore online dating sites to get a girlfriend. In fact, you must consider the serious moves that you need to make to ensure results.

Want to know what? Let’s begin!

Step 1: Find someone for yourself

You might feel that finding someone who’s only meant for you is impossible… but really, it’s not.

If you think that you like this particular person and she may be the one who makes your heart beat faster or even makes your dull world brighter, then why not go for her.

See, nothing is perfect in this world. You have to invest efforts into a relationship for it to become stronger. 

But remember, before jumping into any type of commitment, give yourself a good time and think. Pay attention to what you want for yourself. You might change your life with this one decision. 

You need a partner in life because you need someone to walk with – not because you cannot walk alone but because you need someone to help you get back up when you fall down.

But never rely upon a list of “tangible” qualities to find a match. Find someone who understands you from the level deeper than the skin  

Step 2: Understand women’s psychology

Why do men always come up with this idea that it is difficult to understand beautiful women?

This is totally wrong. The only thing that women want from their partner is respect, loyalty, and understanding. You don’t require superpowers to impress women – you require understanding.

If you fail to give her the desired assurance, she has all the rights in the world to ASK!

Women go through SO MUCH in their lifecycle – physically and mentally. You just have to understand these phases of her life; it’s not rocket science. 

Women need comforting affirmations every once in a while, and you need to be all ears to whatever they have to say. They want you to value them, respect them and not impose the false “male ego”.

You must understand that she is another human like you. God created both of you with different physical appearances. 

Neither of you is superior to the other. You both are equals and have your own struggles.

So, show interest in listening to her side of the story, and she will obviously listen to yours. Do not treat her any less.

You must keep these simple things in your mind before you start your quest.

Women love to get compliments, so you may want to use a few of them to impress women. Know the difference between applying your sense of humor and being a jerk.

Step 3: Who does not admire a good sense of humor?

Make her laugh if you want to smile with her forever.

Psychology says women are more inclined towards a guy with a good sense of humor. A person possessing such qualities can get the attention and affection of people in no time.

Wherever they go, laughter follows, and let’s admit it, we all LOVE it.

So, while starting a conversation, you can apply your humorous charm to grab your lady love’s attention. 

Spend time having a lighthearted chit-chat, and soon you’ll find a way to her heart.

In this world where people have lost the meaning of true happiness, you can be the leader. You’ll eventually find your way to the one waiting to walk further with you.

Step 4: Be friends in need!

Friendship is the first base to a strong relationship. A friend will always be there for you and choose you above all. 

If you really want to understand a person, befriend them first. Once you spend more time as friends, you will eventually come closer and find out if she is really the ONE.

Be a friend in need to earn her trust. And buddy, if she can be a great friend, she can be a great partner too. 

As friends, you will also be able to explore her as a person.

So, if you find all the qualities that you’re looking for in a prospective partner, and feel that you both will make a great couple, that’s your cue to ask her out!

Who knows, she might feel the same for you?

But it is also possible that she may not. Give her hints before making your decision, and if she denies them, you know where you stand.

If you really like her, give it all your might. If it is meant to be, it will happen. If not, accept it and move ahead.

Step 5: Share your hobbies and interests

Once I came across an old couple sitting on a riverside. They were fishing. The view somehow drew me closer and I kinda wanted to join them. They said fishing was their hobby. “Fishing is what we do after a fight to release the tension and feel better together”… They said, “And that has made some of the best memories for us!”

If you want the interest pouring, better share your hobbies with her!

Everyone is different in their own ways so spending time with your partner, doing things that both of you love doing together, can help you develop a strong relationship.

Both of you can be poles apart in habits or choices but still make a great pair. You might even overcome your fears by trusting each other.

In the end, what matters is your relationship and what you need to keep it going.

Remember, life can be super fun when you share mutual interests… but that doesn’t mean you can’t find her either way.

Step 6: Don’t judge her, Never!

Men who don’t commit, judge. Because they’ve got nothing to do!

If you’re committing to something, you must accept all the flaws or the odds. There will be times when she will be vulnerable, and you must understand her without judging her.

You will not come across perfect people darling, nobody does. 

I can assure you that if you are searching for the ideal and the perfect human, your search is never going to end.

So, instead, find the one who you relate to the most and learn to accept her with everything.

Step 7: Treat her special, extra special!

You might give her surprises, gifts and pamper her in every way possible. The best gift that a woman truly desires is support and motivation towards a goal she is working hard for.

She might look stronger in front of the world, but you have to be the space where she can be herself without the act. You must be the pillar to hold her and her backbone.

Treat her special – trust me, it doesn’t take much. For instance, you may carry her books, or offer her tissue paper. That’s all!

It always works both ways, you have her back, and she will have yours. That’s how it is meant to be. Stop accepting the societal guidebook and work on yourself.

If you want her to be a great partner, you need to become one first.

Also, stop expecting things to happen on their own. Put efforts into making them a reality.

Step 8: Your vibe will do most of the work.

If you give positive vibes through your thoughts and behavior, you will automatically earn what you desire. 

Also, when you are involved physically, keep your pleasures aside and understand what your girl wants. Basically, what I am asking is to match your Vibes.

You must feel the vibes so I cannot guide you much on this step, just make sure that she loves your presence. You don’t have to do anything over-the-top.

Either your vibes will match and that will be a thumbs up to take this relationship forward, or your vibes will be completely off the track and you’ll try your luck somewhere else. 

Your company must make up for all the problems and hiccups that she went through. She must feel blessed to be with you.

Step 9: Comfort her

Just like you want to be cared for, pampered, or have physical needs, she has them too. So, you must be her comfort. 

You both are human and possess the same qualities but with different measures. Never question her worth or self-respect, else it’ll make you an insensitive person.

Let her do whatever she wants with her personal space.

You have to be careful about every move you make. That’s when your girl will come out of her comfort zone and trust you completely. 

She must not feel judged or uneasy around you. Let her be comfortable enough to flaunt her real self. Real men are those who do not control, they let loose, but don’t lose anything.

Step 10: Stop chasing a girl

Pal, if by any chance you’re doing this, I suggest you stop right away.  

Let me tell you a secret: you need to do nothing to get a girlfriend. Yes! Nothing. Not in person, not on your social media pages.

Yes, you have to make an effort to approach girls but not chase them. The running and chasing will only exhaust you. 

Instead, be carefree because there are many guys who’ll do anything to please a girl. And then there are guys who do nothing yet lots of girls’ hover around them all day long.

Running, and chasing someone all the time makes you look desperate and you lose your charm. This ultimately ruins your personality.

Brother, at times you must pretend as the most indifferent man. 

Girls have a history of falling for such carefree, cool, smart, and rowdy men, who don’t bother them. Rest, let the universe work its magic on you.

Step 11: Grab her attention, but effortlessly!

Now that’s the tricky part! Getting dressed up nicely might help. 

Got a leather jacket? Some classy accessories, and a tailored suit? 

If yes, let me tell you, it’s not enough, you must also learn some styling techniques and even somebody language cues.

Remember, even when you’re dressed in fashionable clothing, your behavior still matters the most.

Some girls might like a leather jacket, but others just like you in the jacket.

And you know you want the latter!

And of course, while you’re getting dressed, don’t forget to smell good. Because a bad smell can be an immediate deal-breaker.

Step 12: Don’t back off

“What if she rejects me?”, ” What if she ends our friendship too?” “What if she becomes violent?”

This is like: I want chocolates but I’m scared to approach chocolate shops. 😀

When it comes to approaching a girl many of the boys simply back off. 

No matter how strong you pretend to be, you are always afraid of rejection.

You feel that just because she hasn’t been replying so cordially lately, she’s not interested in you. Stop cooking unnecessary stuff in your head, man!

Sometimes you feel like she’s just out of your league, so you can’t approach her. 

No one is beyond league brother! Even if one is, how should it stop you from trying? Stop worrying without a reason.

Once you replace positivity with these negative thoughts of your mind, you will feel confident enough to go and talk to them. 

So, just get rid of any excuses before approaching them. Don’t back off!

Step 13: Eye Contact is important

Don’t underestimate the power of eye contact because it is just as important as any other language.  

It is one of the most crucial love languages that you will come across. By eye contact, I mean your eyes must communicate the love you feel for your girl.

Take some moments and don’t let go of her eyes.  

In fact, dive deeeppp.

Is she blushing? Boy, she already knows what you’re hinting on. 

No don’t worry, you’ll not come off as cheap, it’s a real romantic move my broda!

Step 14: Move confidently

Never approach women with low confidence… At least, don’t show it. 

Girls will never appreciate it.

So, if you’ve decided to go meet this girl, move ahead with full confidence.

Don’t be too loud or too shy while approaching her. 

No one wants to reply to a person with a raging voice or is so soft-spoken that it seems like he is begging. In fact, acting needy or nagging is a bummer.

A proper smile on your face to show that you’re genuinely interested in her and a neutral natural voice, that’s all you need. 

And if you have got a deep dark voice, you are in luck, buddy.

Step 15: Start with a compliment

If you give nice compliments, you’re a genius already!

When you strike up a conversation with a girl, the best way to start is by giving a compliment… but only if it is genuine and from the heart.

It must come from within.

It might be her eyes, her facial features, her ring, her dress, or even her shoes.

Don’t force a compliment because it becomes obvious that you forced it and looks fake.

Buddy, girls have this button inside them hidden which buzzes instantly when you’re trying to make it up.

So don’t be shy and speak your heart, “Hey I like your smile,“I love your eyes, they are so expressive.” 

You know, this could be your sneaky-little way inside her heart!

Step 16: Be a Lil playful

If you really want to create sexual tension between you and that girl that you like, “Teasing” is your best option.

Ensure you don’t cross the fine line between teasing and offending someone. 

Your attempts must make her laugh, feel special, and sometimes tickly. Make sure that she is laughing at it and not scrunching up her brows. 

If she likes it, she might hit you on the shoulder or your arms.

You know what I am trying to say, right?

Step 17: You should be all ears!

If you are having a conversation with a girl that you like, you need to focus on her conversation. Listen to everything she says carefully. 

If she’s talking about her real-life experiences, her future, her career, or something personal, focus on it. Because they know if you’re listening or not. 

When you listen to them with all your heart and don’t judge them for the never-ending gossip, she will naturally like you.  

Honestly, girls like the guys who listen to them. Don’t lose interest in their tittle-tattles if you don’t want to disappoint them.

It will be a cherry on the top if you try to offer solutions to their problem when they face one… because hey this is the perfect time to play the tiger in the jungle.

Step 18: “May I have your number please?”

When you converse with a stranger, yet you don’t have her contact number, wait until the conversation reaches its peak. 

Once she’s talking deeply with you, take the right cue and hit:

“Hey, may I have your number please?”

Don’t rush… wait for this moment to naturally unfold itself.  

If the conversation is over and it’s time for you both to leave… you can also ask her a random question that “can we exchange numbers?” with a simple, sweet, heart-melting smile.

Well, you can do a trick here… pull back a little bit after asking for her number. 

Something like “Oh, it’s my bad! It was too early to ask for the number” may help you pull it off.

You’ll not leave her with many options… but to finally share the number.

Step 19: Ask her out

Once you get her number, build trust, comfort, and curiosity.

But maintain the excitement you both had when you first met.

Don’t hurry, because you might mess up. And in that case, all of the efforts might go in vain.

Asking her out doesn’t always mean a date. It can be a casual meeting in a coffee shop. 

Asking her out is a way for you to show that you want more than a casual friendship.

If she’s ready to go out with you, decide the location of the meeting. You’ll not only increase the bond but also expand the comfort zone between you both.

Don’t try to stretch the conversations. Be flirty and funny while setting up the date. 

Always end the conversation when it reaches its peak to leave her on the edge while craving more time together.

Step 20. A perfect location is as important!

You can ruin the entire date idea if you make a wrong choice.

While choosing a perfect location, don’t force your options on them. 

Let the decision be a mutual one. Look out for a place that is peaceful and airy, and most importantly cozy.

You can also ask your friends about their prior experiences on first dates.

And don’t forget to tell your girl about this, 

“Hey, I have asked my friend about this, and they suggested to me about one place that is super nice and super fun to go to.” 

This will make her feel special and quite happy.

Apart from going to a café, you can go out to some park. You get a lot of things to enjoy and explore. Besides, you’ll get some quality time to spend.

All the young lovers out there, don’t choose a movie date first. 

Why take the girl to a cinema hall where either of you cannot even hush a word?

All you can do is zip your mouths, and watch whatever goes on the screen. That’s not what you do when you first meet a girl.

I would like to share a funny incident. I asked a friend: Why are you so particular when it comes to taking your wife to movies?

He answered: “At least I get those three hours when she doesn’t scold me for anything, and the feeling is heavenly!”

Step 21. Talk to her about the “first” glimpse

Well, it is quite obvious that she will dress prettier-than-ever, as she’ll go on a date… and also the first, I am guessing.

Boy, you’re in for a treat! I am so excited for you already.

Don’t forget to compliment her even after the date is over. It might be an attire, accessory, her hairstyle, makeup, or even the earring she’s wearing.

Well, she dressed and did all that work for you. She went on a date with you so she expects at least a genuine compliment. 

Go on, give it to her what she wants. It must not sound like you’re desperate, but a genuine and natural admiration will suffice.

Step 22. Keep your expectations high

Show her that you are a man of high expectations. Women love men with chivalry and manners.

For example, if you both decided to meet at some location, reach early and wait for her.

Don’t hesitate or feel embarrassed to text or call her. Feel easy to tell her: “I’m here and you are running late.”

Don’t be rude or arrogant with her. In fact, you can keep your tone humorous. This applies to the text message as well.

Be like: “I’m going for a foot massage after this wait…! 😉”

Well, in that case, she will not only try to make up for her mistakes but also apologize for running late. Next time onwards, she’ll take you seriously. 

If you are lucky enough, and the girl has a friendly heart, she might plant a kiss on your cheeks with apologies. Thank me later!

Step 23. Don’t sound mean

During a comfortable conversation, do not bring up your past. 

If your past was a bitter experience, the discussion will give a bitter impression of you.  

Next, avoid bragging about how rich you are or how much you earn. What the hell is she gonna do with your riches?

Good girls don’t really care about your money at all. And if they care about the money, then it’s a red flag – they are a gold digger. Better turn off the date and run back home.

Well, some of the obvious points which you must avoid are, Complaining about your jobs, religion, money, politics, and toxic relationships. 

Make sure the conversations are mostly centered on you both… not other situations that involve a third party.

Step 24.  Be yourself, be real and swear by it!

Well, as we already discussed earlier on this topic, if you are running and chasing behind someone, you definitely lose your charm and your personality. 

Among all the other things that can turn off a woman, one of the greatest things is your odd and pretentious behavior.

So, before approaching them, remember that the “real” you is a lot more attractive than the “fake” you.

No human can be comfortable being someone else, and you’re no alien. She must accept who you are with all the respect that you deserve. 

Now that doesn’t give you the liberty to act waywardly. Behave yourself, tame down the negative aspects of your personality and capitalize on the positives.

If you don’t make moves, tease her, or talk about your sexual desires, things will eventually turn off.

So, know when to hit and when to back off.

Step 25. Healthy flirting is okay!

Well, this part doesn’t come by teaching or by reading articles. It is one of the natural behaviors that will eventually surface when you feel comfortable with someone. 

You will know when is the right time to flirt… you can start by gently holding each other’s hands.

If she is comfortable, she will let you do it, and if she is trying to dodge it, you must notice her discomfort.

So, if you’re getting positive cues, then keep flirting until you both are absolutely aware of each other’s interests.  

And finally, it’s time to make the move and close the deal. 

But I want to remind you that you mustn’t force or hurry anything. Take it slow… with her consent.  

Step 26. End it well

Now it’s time for closing the deal, but before that, you need to be absolutely sure of some signs. 

Is she ready or not? 

If she wasn’t comfortable and you made the move, that would be awkward and embarrassing for both of you, and it might be a bummer in the uncomfortable situation. 

So to be sure, some kind of signs that you might notice is like: if she’s playing with her hair, looking at your lips, laughing at all of your jokes, and leaning into you close enough to hear you speak.

Some or all of these will ensure that she is equally interested in you.

The perfect time to know you’re heading in the right direction is when there’s an awful silence and you both are still smiling without any sign of discomfort.  

If you both hold hands or not, it doesn’t really matter. A positive end ensures that she is optimistic about this partnership.

And if she reaches out to you for the kiss… I am pretty sure; you know how to end it. Don’t you?

Step 27. Don’t start talking about the next date

Now that you have reached the end of your first date, it is quite obvious that you’ll want to drop her.

Otherwise, at least you’ll accompany her to the next street.

Don’t forget to say that you enjoyed the night and that you can’t wait to go out again. But this doesn’t mean you will hurry and set up another date, you don’t want to do that.

If you’re over-enthusiastic about your first date, it may be a bummer and kill the chase. It is better to keep things tight and curious for the next time. 

Use the words like “sometimes” like, “We will meet again sometime” or “We should do it again sometime.” 

This will not only make her curious but also more attracted to you with an urge to meet you as soon as possible.

Step 28. Don’t see her too often

Keeping her hooked up between the dates doesn’t mean you need to keep her hanging between the situations. 

Don’t disconnect once and for all, but also don’t see her so often.

This doesn’t mean you need to stop talking to her or start ignoring her. Keep up the curiosity and let her come back to you with “When are you going to meet next?”

Make her wait (until she can’t) but keep talking to her on a daily basis. 

Interact on social media, reach to her posts but control your heart.

If she gets a hint on the fact that you are always ready to take her out for a date, it’s a buzz-off in her mind, almost immediately.

Don’t put up an impression in her mind about a creep who has nothing to do in his life except chase girls.

Step 29. Confess when the time is ripe

After these dates and all these day-night conversations, if you still feel the rush and it is common on both sides…It’s not wrong to confess your feelings. 

You can just text her that you miss her, and always think about the date.

And if you feel that you are in love with her, or feel like you are blessed that you found her… but can’t voice your feelings, why not write her a note?

You are a human being; it is natural to be emotionally attached to someone after being in touch for such a long time. 

So, if your gut says she’s the ONE, go ahead… tell her!

You definitely shouldn’t rush it in the early stages, it’s risky, so wait until the time is ripe.

Step 30. Go with the flow

Once you confess your feelings, all you need to do is to wait for her confession. And when you finally hear what you’ve always wanted to hear –

“I like you too!”

Don’t celebrate and broadcast it to the world, move slowly with the flow.

As the feeling propagates, a lot of responsibility will come your way. You’ll be her one-and-only… trust me, you will be!

Both of you are definitely going to witness a lot of ups and downs, make sure to hold your hands tight while facing tough situations. 

Don’t ever build up a false ego now that you’ve got the girl. This doesn’t grant you the permission to hit on other girls. 

This is a sign of a typical dealbreaker who does not mind being a heartbreaker. So, beware and be ready for more responsibility.

That’s it, my friend. These were some of the easiest yet powerful steps to get a girlfriend.

But what if you didn’t get her?


What should I do if I don’t get a girlfriend?

Come on! This is not even an issue that you are talking about. Trust me, there is no limitation to age, race, caste, or religion when it comes to getting a girlfriend.

If you are supposed to get one, you can get a girlfriend even if you’re 90 years old, breathing your last breath. 

It is all about the right time and patience. You have to wait for things to fall in place.  Don’t lose hope just because you are not flawless.

Nobody is! Right at this moment, I can count a dozen flaws right on myself.

But you know what, that is what makes me myself. I am proud to be what I am. Be confident and live your life on your own terms – trust me, it’s a lot better than self-loathing.

Getting a girlfriend should be a very organic process. It mustn’t be a necessity that you need to fulfill. 

Trust me, the day you stop thinking about this topic and make it an issue out of nowhere, you will get a girl who comes into your life, who needs you, and never leaves you. 

But till then, fall in love with yourself, and keep loving yourself, until you are happy living a single life.


I got a girlfriend – what next?

Congratulations, buddy, you did it.

Now that you’ve finally found the woman of your dreams, make sure you’re responsible enough and handle her with precaution.

A true gentleman is always respectful towards her lady, NO MATTER WHAT.

The first thing that you have to do once you have found a girlfriend is to take things SLOWLY. Learn to accept each other… see if both of you are comfortable around each other… and have fun in this newfound relationship.  

It is only when you cherish your time together that you can think about the future.

Figure out what both of you expect from this relationship before you dive deep and develop strong feelings for each other.

Remember, all couples have to go through some struggles in a relationship… but you always have two choices: either make things or break things – but you can’t be doing everything alone, your partner must be equally in it.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

If you still don’t get a girlfriend, and desperately want one, you may reach out to a professional dating coach to help you get rid of this despair.

But if you’re not obsessing over a girlfriend and are looking for a support system, then this guide should be enough for you.

If you want me to summarize this guide in one line, here’s what I would say: to impress a girl, all you need is an honest heart, undeniable commitment, and lots of respect.

Don’t change yourself to suit your crush’s likings, because that’s the most disrespectful thing you may do to yourself.

However, if you think it will make you a better version of yourself, strive forward with all your might.

Wish you all the luck, buddy.

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