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How Long Should You Talk to Someone Before Dating? (12 Things to consider before you take the Plunge)

How Long Should You Talk to Someone Before Dating? (12 Things to consider before you take the Plunge)

Updated on Sep 15, 2023

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

How Long Should You Talk to Someone Before Dating

How long should you talk to someone before dating? You must have asked this question yourself the moment you noticed that you have started liking the person you’re meeting quite often now. Isn’t it so?

To be frank, there’s no fixed timeframe for developing a connection before dating; it varies for each individual. Focus on genuine communication and getting to know each other. When you both feel comfortable, trust and mutual interest have been established, consider taking the next step.

Let the relationship evolve naturally, ensuring both parties are on the same page.

How long should you talk to someone before dating

The appropriate length of time for individuals to talk before dating varies depending on personal preferences and comfort levels. While some may prefer a brief period of conversation to establish basic compatibility, others may feel the need for a more extended period of communication to build trust and familiarity. 

Ideally, the duration should allow both parties to gauge their mutual interests, values, and goals, ensuring a solid foundation for a potential relationship.

Let us analyze the various parameters for this clarion call of deciding how long is actually enough to know whether you have made the right decision.

1. Establishing a Foundation 

During the initial phase, it is crucial to get to know each other better, build rapport and understand shared interests. This allows both individuals to assess if there is potential for a deeper connection and compatibility. The important thing at this time is to assess each other’s level of liking. You and your partner should genuinely like each other. 

If you are getting a hunch that the other person is not the type of individual who is compatible with your expectations, then a lot of ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ can grow into the relationship. It’s time to evaluate the extent of your liking and re-consider your next move along the path.

2. Communication frequency and assessing genuine love

Consistent communication is essential, but the frequency depends on personal circumstances. Some may prefer daily interactions, while others may be comfortable with less frequent contact. Respect each other’s boundaries and find a communication rhythm that suits both parties.

Before entering into an official relationship, it’s essential to ensure that the man you’re considering is deeply in love with you and genuinely desires a connection with you beyond physical intimacy.

This approach ensures that you’ll have a strong emotional foundation, creating a reserve of love that can withstand the test of time and keep your relationship intact.

3. Emotional availability 

Before moving towards dating, ensure both individuals are emotionally available and ready for a relationship. This involves processing past experiences and being open to forming a new connection.

This will help you to assess your partner’s genuine interest and love towards you. You will be in a better position to answer the question – “How long should a person talk to someone before dating and becoming serious about the bonding.

4. Shared values and goals 

Understanding each other’s values and long-term aspirations is crucial in determining if the relationship has a strong foundation. Aligning key principles helps create a meaningful connection. 

To be precise, it is important to know the chemistry that you share with your partner. In any relationship, it’s common for both individuals to encounter conflicts and differences in their moral codes or values. Attempting to ignore or downplay these conflicts to justify staying together often leads to compromises that may not align with your true beliefs.

Unfortunately, even with compromises, there’s a high likelihood of the relationship eventually breaking up, especially when the conflicts between your respective values are significant. That’s why it’s crucial to understand where your partner stands on important matters and vice versa.

5. Some crazy love is on its way to a blooming phase

If the initial connection lacks strong feelings, it’s unlikely to improve significantly after a year or even a decade. In the early stages of a relationship, desire, lust, and attraction are often at their peak as you both explore and learn about each other. However, these feelings gradually subside over time, making way for deeper love and affection.

Before entering an official dating relationship, it’s crucial to ensure that the man is genuinely head-over-heels in love with you and desires a meaningful connection beyond just physical intimacy. This foundation of genuine love serves as a reserve that can sustain the relationship even if time puts strain on it.

6. Compatibility in interests 

Discovering shared hobbies and interests can strengthen the bond between individuals, providing opportunities for enjoyable experiences together. Having shared interests creates opportunities for meaningful interactions and experiences together. 

Engaging in activities that both partners enjoy strengthens their bond and builds a sense of companionship. Whether it’s a mutual love for hiking, a passion for cooking, or a shared interest in art, these common pursuits provide a solid foundation for spending quality time and deepening emotional connections.

7. Emotional connection 

Building an emotional connection requires time and effort. Engage in deeper conversations to understand each other’s emotions, fears, and dreams, fostering a sense of intimacy.

Developing intimacy in the ‘talking phase’ is an essential element because it gives you the chance of understanding each other’s deepest feelings and emotional depth; otherwise, the relationship may break off at any time in its later stage. 

Before dating, both parties should feel comfortable being vulnerable with each other and trust that their feelings and thoughts will be respected and supported.

8. Respectful communication

Healthy communication is vital at all stages of a relationship. Learning to listen actively, express thoughts kindly, and resolve conflicts respectfully lays the groundwork for a successful relationship.

Therefore, you should talk to your partner very often and see to it that they are respectful towards you and your opinions. 

You should take note of their overall behavior during challenging times; whether they are open to criticism and can handle the struggles of life well. Just before you make the relationship officially known to everyone, you should try to rule out loopholes as much as possible, so that the relationship becomes an everlasting one.

9. Personal Space and Independence 

It’s essential to maintain individuality and respect personal space even as the relationship progresses. Balancing time spent together and apart is vital for long-term compatibility. 

Before dating, discuss expectations regarding exclusivity, commitment, and the future of the relationship to ensure both individuals are on the same page. Ensure that your partner is not emotionally needy and is ready to respect your other commitments apart from the relationship with them.

10. Dealing with Past Baggage 

Addressing and working through any past baggage or unresolved issues is essential for a healthy relationship foundation. Thus, you and your partner should talk openly about past relationships, if any, and how you people have moved on with your respective priorities in life. 

Do not lie at this stage because all this communication is vital for building a solid foundation for the future growth of the bonding.

11. Ensure that you are not merely a rebound

If either of you recently ended a significant relationship, it’s essential to avoid rushing into an exclusive dating situation right away. Rebound relationships can occur when you haven’t fully healed from your last breakup and are still emotionally attached to your ex. 

Moving on is natural, but it’s crucial to ensure you’ve healed before pursuing something new. If your potential partner constantly talks about their ex and seems emotionally entangled with them, it’s a sign they may not be ready for a new relationship.

In such cases, it’s best to remain friends, until they have fully moved on from their previous relationship.

12. Relationship is smoothly progressing

This is another way to understand how long you should talk to someone before dating. Recognizing clues that the relationship is moving forward can help if you’re uncertain about the duration of the talking stage.

Pay attention to signs that your partner is interested in advancing the relationship, such as expressing a desire to spend more time together or revealing intense feelings for you.

When you notice these hints, take some time to reflect on whether you also want the relationship to become more serious in the same direction.

After all…when is the right time?

The right time to transition from just talking to official dating varies for each individual and relationship. It depends on the level of emotional connection, communication, and mutual understanding between the parties involved. It’s essential to gauge how comfortable both individuals feel with each other and their readiness for a more committed phase. 

Some signs that may indicate it’s time to make the move include having consistent and meaningful conversations, experiencing shared interests and values, and feeling a growing sense of trust and affection. 

Additionally, if both parties express a desire for exclusivity and are willing to invest time and effort into building a deeper connection, it might be the appropriate moment to make the relationship official.

Nonetheless, open and honest communication is crucial during this transition to ensure that both partners are on the same page and ready for this new chapter in their relationship.

Summing Up from ‘ThePleasantRelationship’

Both parties should demonstrate consistent effort and investment in the relationship, showing that they prioritize and value one another. Take the time needed to assess the connection and ensure both individuals feel confident and ready to embark on a dating journey together.

Remember, while these points offer a general timeline, every relationship is unique, and it’s crucial to communicate openly and honestly throughout the process to ensure a successful and fulfilling partnership.

Are you interested to know more about ‘How to Be Enough for Someone’ then click here?

Are you interested to know more about ‘Signs Of Chemistry On First Date’ then click here?