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Love vs Lust: The Differences You Must Know

Love vs Lust: The Differences You Must Know

Updated on Aug 08, 2023

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

Love vs Lust - The Differences You Must Know - ThePleasantRelationship

Wondering what’s the battle between lust vs love? Feel both are the same? Or perhaps believe they happen simultaneously? 

Thank goodness you looked it up! Because they aren’t the same at all.

On the other hand, you might feel both lust and love in different stages of your relationship. 

Lust is about sex and love is about romance.

So, there is also some social stigma about lust… but it’s actually fine as long as you and your partner know what you want.

Can’t wait to know what’s your cup of tea? Let’s head in…

Lust vs Love Infographics

Lust vs Love
Lust vs Love
Signs of Lust vs Love
Signs of Lust vs Love

Lust vs Love: The Short answer

Spiritual, psychological, and emotional connection is the driving force of love. Lust, on the other hand, depends chiefly on sexual connection and sometimes physical touch.

But of course, that’s not all to it, so here’s a

Detailed difference between Love and Lust

Though people misinterpret love and lust as the same thing, it’s quite different. But how? Is it just about sex and no-sex? It’s not… in fact, the differences are way more deep because of your intentions and desires from the relationship.

So, let’s take a quick glance through this table

Basis of DifferenceLoveLust
MeaningLove is an intense affectionate feeling.Lust is an intense desire for (usually) sexual satisfaction.
SignsConfidence and loyalty.A self-sacrificing inclination for your object of affection.Willingness to compromise the differencesEnthusiastic to adjust for the happiness of both.Passionate feelings.Intense feelings.Desire for one another.Greed or possessiveness.
Relationship descriptionTwo people commit to one another with pure intentions.They prioritize one another’s feelings.Two people enjoy a short-term relationship of mutual pleasure.
How it feelsDeep connection and care, happiness, assurance.There’s healthy communication and adjustment about hopes.You need to be generous and respectfully assertive.The intense desires or constant pleasure might be hard to satisfy.
OutcomeHarmony, safety, a healthy bond to raise a poised and stable family.If unsatisfied, leads to sexual frustration, magnified superstitious, emotional obstinacy.If satisfied, it leads to mutual passion, inspiration, pleasure, and enthusiasm.
ImpactStability and blissHigher drive and passion
Dependence typeIf controlled, results in coordination and interdependency.Excess dependency results in codependent traits.It’s the first stage of love which may result in long-term relationships like friendship or romantic relationships. But lack of empathy can result in an emotionally damaging nature.
LengthWith time, love multiplies.With time it may deepen or dissolve.
PromisesIt might be an everlasting bond.It might not last too long.
ConclusionLove is an unconditional and real emotion.Lust emphasizes one’s pleasure, may become love, and is temporary.

Still confused? Well, here’s a detailed idea

1. You don’t trust them in lust… but in love you know they’ll never deceive you

Usually, people always want to protect their vulnerabilities. But, when you fall in love, you want to show your true self to them. You want them to love you even after noticing your flaws.

This is usually because love includes a great deal of trust.

Lust, though, doesn’t include deep trust. So, you barely have such feelings… unless it’s about your sexual preferences. You’ll always fear getting hurt in lust.

2.  In lust, they’re on your mind only for sex… in love, you can’t stop thinking of them

Both in love and lust, your object of affection will always be on your mind.

In love, your thoughts are usually pure. You may think how kind, helpful, witty, intelligent, or goofy they are. The thoughts revolve around their character.

Whereas in lust, you dream about their physical attributes more. You might adore their charming looks, dazzling smile, or sexiness.

3. There’s skin-deep convo in lust. Love will make you a chatterbox

People in love have endless things to talk about. They’ll share their dreams, hopes, fears, possibilities. They have lots to share and know about one another.

You feel amazed about them and vice versa, which is the driving force of your endless topics.

However, in lust, you don’t feel as much interested in one another. The conversations aren’t deep or intriguing due to a lack of feelings.

4. Lustful excitement has numbered days. But it always multiplies in love.

After falling in love and being loved, your emotions grow into a huge warm, and fluffy ball inside your heart. If you and your partner love one another deeply, you’ll crave one another even more.

But in lust, the excitement lasts until you fulfill them. For instance, once you kiss them, you won’t find it as exciting in the long haul.

The excitement gradually decreases, so it’s hard to notice immediately.

5. Flaws are a turn-off in lust. You embrace all flaws in love.

Love feels all-embracing and accepting… your emotional attachment lasts even though you know they aren’t perfect. Knowing where they lack, you want to support them regardless.

In lust, a person feels their partner is flawless. It’s like infatuation, where you overlook a person’s flaws and romanticize them. Your hormones blind your judgment about the other person.

So, when you notice the real person, the physical and sexual attraction dies away. This might define the end of a lusty relationship.

6. In lust, you’re too afraid to plan. You make long-term plans in love.

Every person in love hopes for a long-term relationship. They don’t have thoughts about separations in their mind. So, in love, you make lots of future plans.

It might be a vacation six months later or a family introduction years ahead. This is a symbol of confidence in your relationship’s future.

You can’t have the same confidence with feelings of lust. You look forward to satisfying your sexual desire… and feel content with that alone.

There’s no moving forward because you aren’t sure about the relationship and one another’s feelings.

7. In lust, you hardly utter “us” or “we”. You’re a team in love

In real love, you feel like two complementing pieces of a puzzle… like you complete one another. You believe that you’re unbreakable together. Nobody can break your confidence or union.

You also help one another grow as individuals in love.

Whereas, pairs in lust are like intersecting lines… they don’t have much in common other than their intense sexual desires. You don’t want or find teamwork necessary as long as you have a bomb sex life.

8. You’re selfish in lust, but ready to sacrifice everything in love

In love, due to emotional attachment, both partners tend to compromise a lot for one another’s happiness. Even if you give more than you receive, you don’t mind that in love.

Because you’re confident about their deep affection for you… and that’s all you need.

If you feel lust towards your partner, you won’t put in too much effort. You won’t go out of your way or inconvenience yourself because the relationship doesn’t matter much to you. 

9.  You don’t care about them in lust, but encourage one another in love

In pure romantic love, couples help one another strive for the best. You wish to be a better person and achieve more to make them proud.

You challenge your flaws for their happiness. Also, you get limitless support to reach the peak.

When in lust, you only want instant pleasure. It has no connection to personal growth or changing yourself for the better.

So long you feel satisfied, you don’t require any effort outside the bedroom.

10. Their perspectives don’t matter in lust. In love, you try to be in their shoes

When you love a person, you feel empathetic towards them… the vice versa isn’t always true. You want to know their troubles and support them likewise.

You want to help them just how they want it. If they feel troubled, you have an intense urge to solve their issues.

However, lust is a selfish emotion, so you never give the other person a second thought. It’s all about you and your personal feelings and physical attraction.

You’ll hardly bat an eyelash if they were in danger.

11. You don’t wanna mingle with their loved ones in lust… it’s the opposite in love.

In true love, what’s important to your partner is also important to you. For instance, you hold their friends and family close to your heart because you love them.

You want to know every important person in your partner’s life and bond with them.

Likewise, you’ll also want to introduce them to your close ones. And secretly hope your close ones approve of them.

This aspect is completely absent in lust.

12. You mind your own happiness in lust. But in love, their happiness is your responsibility

Your partner’s happiness is a huge deal in love. Your happiness lies in theirs and vice versa. You feel calm and collected when they’re satisfied… It’s like you’re two bodies and one soul.

Their emotional state matters a lot in love, not in lust. Since lust is a selfish emotion, you’ll hardly feel anything when your partner is emotionally disturbed.

13. Lust is an instant feeling. Love takes time

Love at first sight is false love… It’s lust aka infatuation. It can happen within seconds because you only gotta check them out. You sexually desire them and your journey begins.

Love on the other hand is pure emotion. Knowing a person and coming to like and love them – all need time. And you gotta spend quality time to achieve it.

14. Complications define the end in lust… but in love it’s another challenge

If you’re in love, you will fight, disagree, and get mad… but you’ll never walk out on them. Your love for them always defeats negative emotions.

You understand one another’s perspectives, make up, and try being a better person for them.

Lust again focuses on satisfaction, so sexual frustration leads to fights. You can’t handle dissatisfaction patiently so you give up.

You’re confident about beginning another lustful relationship elsewhere, so that’s the end.

15. Lust and Love both have different science

Love and lust are both biological responses of our bodies. Researchers found that though similar and connected, both feelings stimulate different brain parts in the striatum.

The zone, which connects instant pleasure from food or any addiction, triggers lust. The portion, which links human values and attachment, develops feelings of love.

Confused? Let’s beat the confusion here…

How to know what I’m feeling?

It’s absolutely normal to feel confused about your own feelings. Your hormones blur your understanding of your situations.

We all feel the same… usually your friends and family notice your feelings better because they don’t experience the same hormonal rage. 

But you can do it on your own too. Let’s answer some questions medical reviewers ask…

1. What interests you about them?

If you’re only in for sex, it’s lust.

In love, everything about them intrigues you. You want to know their thoughts, opinions, emotions… pretty much everything.

2. What do you think about their imperfections?

In lust, their flaws might turn you off… or you don’t register them at all.

People in love accept all sides of their partner and support them however they need.

3. How much can you invest in your relationship?

Desiring only positive feelings from your relationship implies you’re lusty.

Contrarily, if you’re ready to invest yourself emotionally, even when you’re in a rough situation… It’s love.

4. What’s the driving force of your relationship?

Usually, it’s lust when you’re only in for the sexual thrill.

In love, your relationship thrives on knowing one another deeply. Every day you learn something new about one another.

A relationship based on lust is urgent, immediate, and takes no time to kickstart.

If you take time to know them and your interest grows with time, you’re drowning in love.

6. Do you idealize them?

Lust involves infatuation, where your partner is a perfect person in your eyes. You obsess and crave their presence in your life.

Meanwhile, love isn’t an obsession so there’s no compulsion. In love, you don’t see them as an “ideal” person because that’s impossible. You accept them as they are.

7. Do you feel secure with them?

In lustful relationships, you’ll always fear your partner finding someone more sexually attractive and compatible. You always compete with an invisible rival.

Love is a warm feeling that gives you peace and security.

8. What about the future?

Lust slowly loses its spark with time, so the possibility of a future diminishes.

But love can stand the test of time and is an everlasting emotion.

9. How do you carry yourself?

In lust, people put great effort into your physical appearance. After all, your relationship thrives from physical attraction.

In love, you’re so vulnerable and open that you don’t mind showing them your real side. You know they’ll accept you for you and not your attire or grooming skills. You feel comfortable being yourself around them.

10. How much sex is there in the relationship?

How do you spend time with one another? If it’s mostly sex, it’s no more than lust.

If you balance sex, emotional intimacy, and other aspects, luckily it’s love.

11. What are your usual topics?

If you talk about superficial things like how amazing your last trip was, what you had for dinner… or completely avoid intimate topics, you’re in a lust alley.

If you indulge in deep topics about your feelings, your future plans, hopes, what fears you… babe, it’s a love story!

12. How do you handle challenges?

When something about your partner bothers you, what’s your reaction?

If you ignore them because you’re uncomfortable with difficult topics… you’re here for a good time, not a long time – it’s lust!

In love, you respectfully communicate about issues, give constructive criticism, and build your relationship foundation together.

13. What do you feel when you see them?

Every time you meet them, if you anticipate sex or want to throw them in a bed to do the dirty… you’re in lust.

Meanwhile, if you want to hug them until they become a mushy puddle, melt their heart, soothe them, or know about their day… that’s love for you.

14. Family get-together or steamy sex, which is important?

If you never thought about introducing your partner to family and friends, it’s a sure-fire sign of lust.

Couples in love usually want their loved ones to know their partner and have a good opinion of them.

15. Describe your relationship

If your relationship is more about satisfying one another sexually only… that’s another alarming sign you’re not in love (at least yet).

On the flip side, if both of your life enmeshes with one another emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, and sexually… and there’s a good balance between all, you’re star-crossed lovers. 

That’s all for your part. Let’s know what’s up with your partner here…

How do I know what my partner is feeling?

Communication is the best way to know your partner’s feelings. But if your partner doesn’t show much interest in your life or is always asking for sex, it’s a clear indication.

There’s no definite way to check if your partner feels love or lust for you. In fact, love and lust can be two sides of the same coin… or, you can feel either without the other.

The usual sign of love is an intense emotional bond. A person in love will clearly make efforts to spend time with you even without sex.

They’ll introduce you to loved ones, plan dates and vacations, and ask you interesting questions.

On the flip side, if they only lust over you… they’ll not care about you unless they want sex.

But the best way to know their intentions is honest and open communication. Assuming things or overthinking can sometimes ruin a perfect relationship.

These differences can be confusing if you don’t know each of these elements separately.

So, let me help you do that, starting with…

What is Lust?

Lust is selfish and sexual. It’s when you say you fell for someone at one glance. It’s actually their looks you fell for. Also, lust can lead to love and the intermediate phase between lust and love is infatuation.

Lust is a selfish emotion to satisfy your sexual desires. A person in lust disregards their partner’s emotional or physical wellness.

But being lustful doesn’t imply you’re incapable of loving. You can love your partner and be lustful. You can feel sexual attraction whether you’re in love or not.

Also, when people refer to love at first sight, it’s usually their lust.

You can feel lust for someone you know for ages, or even a stranger… because it doesn’t require any emotional intimacy.

The physical attraction might begin within seconds, or take time. It might also vary from person to person.

Lust can later become love, and the transitional phase between the two is infatuation. During infatuation, you idealize your partner.

Also, red flags or any differences go unnoticed during this as you romanticize your partner too much.

Want to know if you’re hungry for a body? Let’s know from here…

How can you recognize lust?

Think your relationship is lusty? Or, maybe it’s a tiny bit of fear that you’re fooling yourself? It’s okay, you still have time to find your real desires. Let’s know if you’re on team lust here…

1. You yearn for them sexually

One of the classic signs of being in lust is sexual attraction. Feel butterflies in your stomach when they touch you?

Or your heart skips a beat when they kiss you? Or you get too wet just at their sight?

That’s lust no doubt!

2. You don’t wanna soothe them on bad days

When their presentation fails and they’re feeling down… what do you do? Do you feel like consoling or cheering for them?

If you blatantly ignore them whenever it’s not regarding sex, that’s an alarming sign of lust.

3. Your daydreams mostly include sexual fantasies

What do you usually think about them? Do you always think about when you’ll hook up next?

If you never have any thoughts like wondering how he/she’s doing… or did he have lunch on time?… it’s a good sign you only think of sexual desires.

There’s no love in your relationship.

4. The relationship dynamics are unhealthy

When you have conflicts in your relationship, how do you solve them? Do you call them names, hurt them, or give them silent treatment? Do you only want to prove yourself right for every fight?

If yes, that’s another sign there’s no love at all. Your relationship is quite unstable and possibly, it relies on sexual chemistry alone.

5. You don’t prioritize intimacy

In lust, you won’t desire intimacy at all. There’s no conversation about life and future dreams. Even if your partner indulges in pillow-talk, do you brush them off?

Or do you feel there’s no point in building intimacy? Continuous superficial conversations with a lack of intimacy are also signs of lust.

And then, we didn’t discuss love either. Let’s know…

What is Love?

Love is a pure and selfless emotion that is a mixture of attachment, care, and intimacy. However, for some, love might feel bland because of the lack of thrill, which is usually present in infatuation.

As per social psychologist Zick Rubin, the basic constituents of romantic love are attachment to someone or craving someone’s presence, caring about their feelings, and developing deeper connections.

These can help nourish long-term relationships… However, love isn’t as intense as infatuation.

But fading infatuation (the transitional phase between lust and love) can make you doubt your relationship. For instance, you’ll feel the relationship lacks passion and thrill.

Though with time, your perspective on infatuation and love matures. You understand that love is the real deal… and sexual hunger fluctuates but that doesn’t change your love.

Also, many social psychologists agree that fading infatuation is a great sign of strong love.

Wanna know if you’re in love? Let’s quickly hop in…

How can you recognize love?

Since both love and lust can be present in healthy relationships, it’s hard to tell them apart. Well, they both may happen simultaneously, or alternately. What matters the most is if you’re happy. 

But, for the sake of security, let’s know if it’s true love…

1. Your emotions are in sync

Suppose your partner is having issues in family or professional life, do you feel sad? Do you hope to take away all of their grief and cheer them up?

If yes, then you care a lot about their emotions and are deeply in love.

2. They’re an inseparable part of your life

When you make major plans in your life, do you always notify or include them in the plans? Suppose, you wanna do some major renovations in your place… do you ask their opinion first?

Or, perhaps you wanna try out a new café, do you ask them out to try together?

If they’re a constant part of their life, it might be love.

3. You’re ready to show it all

In this world, nobody trusts another easily… there’s always an eerie feeling of being taken advantage of.

So, if you’re ready to show them your dark and tender sides, trust them they’ll protect your feelings… It has to be love.

4. The connection is more than skin-deep

Do you dare to be deeply involved in their life? Maybe step inside unsafe boundaries? People in lustful relationships don’t bother making such intimate connections.

However, in love, knowing your partner well might retaliate badly, you still communicate about important matters. It’s because of your urge to protect and support them.

5. They attract you in every possible way

In lust, people only experience sexual attraction. But if you feel attracted in all ways towards your partner… that’s a good sign.

For instance, you’ll feel attracted to their smallest gestures. Like how they’re a good human being, or how caring they are. In love, you’ll notice every good thing about them even through the flaws.

6. Sacrificing isn’t a big deal to you

Do you feel they deserve all the happiness of the world? If it’s possible, will you make them happy with your share of luck? These are some sweet signs of being in love.

Unlike lust, people in love go to great lengths to see their partner happy.

7. You don’t judge them

People in love know one another’s flaws and shortcomings. But if you want to understand their reasons and back them for improvement instead of judging… that’s a great sign.

Though you have clear limits to tolerating someone’s mistakes, you still try to see the goodness in them.

Love can amplify your tolerance and encourage your partner to nurture their positive aspects.

8. You support them endlessly

Suppose your partner got their dream job offer… but it’s in a faraway place. You’ll definitely feel heartbroken to begin a long-distance relationship.

However, if you love them, you’ll set them free to fulfill their dreams. Love isn’t possessive, unlike lust. You have faith that they’ll stay yours despite how far they go.

So, you can’t help but support them and root for their happiness.

9. You communicate well

Another sign of being in love is good communication. That doesn’t imply that you won’t have fights or disagreements… you will, but you’ll also resolve them responsibly.

If you both try resolving conflicts even when it feels uncomfortable, you’re both perfect for one another.

10. You respect one another’s boundaries

Many people don’t understand the meaning of boundaries. There are certain deal-breakers in everyone’s life. For instance, it might be no phone calls during work or no flirting with others.

Though not the same, you both might have such boundaries. When you both respect one another’s boundaries, that’s a sign of respect and understanding – a language of love.

But is love intended to be a substitute for lust, or is it vice versa? Let’s know…

Which one is more important?

Both love and lust have equal importance in our lives! It all depends on your needs and capabilities to return the same to your partner. 

Since lust is all about carnal needs and love is a pure emotion, many cultures or traditions shun lustful feelings. Many say people can do without it, or that it contaminates their soul… but let’s not get into controversies here

But imagine you’re happily married, in love with your partner… but there’s no lust in it, from the beginning till the end.

You’ll feel frustrated unless 1. You decided to abstain, 2. It’s a mutual decision.

Sexual desires are humane and everyone feels it. It’s not a sin if you have sex without the intent of procreating. Lust is a form of attraction, though not all-encompassing like love.

Lust makes you feel desired and sexy… it boosts your confidence too.

Wanna know what’s more suitable for you? Let’s slide into…

How to know which one you want?

Is there any reason for you to pick one? There’s no war between love and lust… so why not enjoy both? But on the contrary, it can help you understand your desires better.

So, if you want to frame your relationships on either side, let’s take a quick glance.

  • Are you prepared to prioritize someone more than yourself?
  • Will you feel comfortable exposing your vulnerable sides to another?
  • Will you trust them with your entire self?
  • Can you make time for them even when you’re busy?
  • Are you willing to put effort into the relationship during conflicts?

If you mostly nodded yes, then you want a loving relationship.

On the other hand, answer these…

  • Is sex more important in your life?
  • Is it necessary to engage in sexual activity with your romantic partner?
  • Do you feel emotional attachment is unnecessary?
  • Do you believe sex is the only interesting part of a relationship?
  • Do you feel emotional support is bothersome?

If you mostly answered yes, then you want a lustful relationship.

But, hey… don’t feel confused if you have a mixture of answers. Any average human will desire a healthy combination of both romance and sex.

Build a relationship including both… or make your pick and avoid hurting others or your feelings. Because it’s your life and your call.

If you wanna enjoy both, let’s know…

Can you feel love and lust at the same time?

Love and lust can simultaneously work when you’re young. With age, the presence of both might become inconsistent. So, learn how to love one another even outside of the bedroom.

You feel lust more during the beginning of a relationship. The relationship is exciting and thrilling in this phase due to the freshness.

However, with time, this lust may dim or die away. That’s when you base your relationship on diverse forms of intimacy.

In long-term romantic relationships, the sexual connection might not snap off completely. Sometimes the passion might suddenly return.

That’s your cue to take space and focus on yourself. Learn what you really desire in your relationship and resume. This helps in understanding your feelings and finding “love” in your relationship.

Love and lust won’t always work simultaneously. So, build newer forms of intimacy to keep the freshness alive.

Support one another’s goals and dreams and indulge in one another’s life deeper to know the other even more.

Though not forever, it’s not impossible to feel both simultaneously. You can be a die-hard lover and feel extremely attracted to your partner. But this kind of vigor only lasts till a certain age.

Certain about your feelings? Wanna come clean? Let’s find out here…

How can you express these feelings to someone?

Communication is always the key to expressing yourself and your feelings. However, different situations demand different preparations.

Since there can be four situations, let’s know how to deal with them here…

1. You figured out you love them and want to express your feelings.

To express your feelings, figure out some other aspects: Is your relationship socially and culturally acceptable? Is it possible to build a relationship with them?

If you answered yes to both, it’s time to consider the negative aspect of your confession.

Well, even if you fear rejection, it’s better to express yourself, get shot down, and move on. At least it’s much better than regretting it later. So, overpower your fears.

2. However, if you feel lust towards them, then…

Stick to honest communication once again. Tell them it’s more about sexual attraction than emotional or romantic ones.

Wait for their answer before taking any further steps. Do they accept such dynamics? Or, do they hate it? If they refuse a lustful relationship, better get a hold of yourself.

3. Or you might lust over your partner

While in a purely loving relationship, you might develop lustful feelings. It’s time to tell your partner what you’re feeling. Don’t coerce them into it, rather ask about their opinion.

Find out how they feel about taking the next step in your relationship, i.e., adding the sexual component. If they consent to try sexual acts, take it slow… one step at a time.

4. Lastly, you might develop feelings from lustful relationships

This is a pretty common way of beginning any relationship… you began the arrangement with sexual attraction alone, know one another deeply, and fall hard.

Unless you agree on a no-strings-attached arrangement, you’ve got all the chances to succeed in your relationship.

The last part got your heart? Wanna know if your relationship dynamics can change? Let’s hop on to…

Can lust become love?

Now let’s come to the real deal… Well, your lustful relationship can become a loving one. But is there any guarantee? NONE!

Relationship experts say that in most loving relationships, lust was one of the basic feelings initially. So, you got a fair chance.

But that’s not the case for everyone. Also, it doesn’t imply that you’ll have a long-term relationship.

There’s a basic issue with lustful relationships… which hampers long-term commitments. For instance, the sexual factor conceals threatening red flags.

Suppose, you frequently forgive your partner’s infidelity or greediness because you’re sexually compatible.

Relationship red flags can confuse your decision about long-term commitments with a sexual partner.

Wondering if you can begin a romantic relationship with a lustful one? Here are some basic signs to understand your intentions…

1. You always end up in the bed

Do you guys always meet at home? Do you never suggest outdoor dates? Do you both prefer staying indoors, or is it only one of you? Does it always end with something kinky?

Well, this is a sign that your indoor dates always revolve around sex. Both or either of you only believes in sexual intimacy… so there’s no future to the relationship.

If you wanna change such dynamics, seek a sex therapist.

2. Other activities are bleh

When you go out for outdoor dates, how do you feel? Do you like to spend time outside the house? Or do you feel bored and frustrated?

If you ever felt your partner is no fun outside the bedroom, that’s a clear indication of incompatibility. Your relationship might not work for the long haul.

3. There’s a clear lack of interest

Do you folks try knowing one another’s tastes? Or do you just go with the flow? Know their favorite flavor or color? Or any special distant memories?

Did you ever share your intimate stories from childhood? Or, even anything about your family?

Lack of interest in one another’s affairs is another alarming sign of a superficial relationship. Either or both of you don’t want emotional intimacy in your relationship dynamics.

If you feel you or your partner is emotionally unavailable due to past trauma, speak with a mental health professional.

This is a huge roadblock to serious relationships.

4. You both hesitate about the future

Do you both feel uncomfortable making long-term plans? Possibly, ignore it with let’s live in the moment? It’s a clear sign of insecurity in the relationship.

Perhaps neither of you wants any progress in the relationship.

5. Your values clash

And lastly, if you both have conflicting thought processes, that’s another major blockade. All couples don’t necessarily have similar likes… but you can’t compromise your beliefs, faith, or even ethics.

The dead-end of your relationship might be closer than you suspected.

Wondering what’s the use in knowing the difference? Here’s your answer…

Why should you know the difference between lust and love?

The awareness about the difference between love and lust can help you protect your heart, help you refrain from making false promises, and even build more meaningful relationships.

When you know the difference between lust and love, you can build your desired relationships.

Your relationships will then align with your needs and capability. Also, you can put in as much time as you’re comfy with.

Suppose you only want a lustful relationship or don’t have time to build emotional connections. If you identify your needs well, you’ll be able to clearly state your intentions.

You won’t hurt your partner’s feelings either. Also, if you develop feelings for your partner, and they don’t want it… you’ll save yourself from heartache too.

Or, perhaps you want a romantic relationship from the beginning. If you notice any lusty signs in your partner, you can bail out quicker… only because you’re aware.

Found what’s your choice? Great! Let’s know…

What should you do next?

If you’re in a relationship, communicate about your intentions, whether you desire lust or love. When your partner doesn’t have similar emotions, move on. If you’re single, deeply ponder on your expectations.

Well, it entirely depends on your circumstances and feelings.

For instance, if you’re not in a relationship with anyone, take the opportunity to figure out your feelings and expectations from a future relationship. Meanwhile, figured…

If it’s lust

Think for a sec… What kind of relationship do you want? Did you always plan on having sexual relationships only? Spending time apart from your partner can help you understand your needs.

Also, ask your partner “What do you expect from this relationship? I believe in sexual relationships without commitment… how do you feel about it?”

Do your feelings match, or do they want something serious?

If they hope for more, it’s time for a clean break… because you probably can’t satisfy their emotional needs.


If it’s love

Then again… gotta ask their feelings for you. Hit them up like

“I’m not sure if you feel the same… but I smell romance in our relationship, and I like it. Are you up for a serious relationship?”


“I just want to make sure we’re on the same page… I’m into serious long-term commitments. I want to know your expectations from it.”

 Once again, if you’re not a person of the same mind, it’s a tough time to call it quits.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Love and lust are human emotions and have their own benefits. Though different, go for whichever suits your palate. 

Both come with their own set of drawbacks too. So, test out what works the best for you with practical implications. Because sometimes, you know it better only if you give it a try.

If you tend to involve your emotions a lot in relationships, you’re the lovey-dovey kind. If you can keep love and sex apart, and feel comfier with sex alone, you’re into lust.

Also, lust is pretty common in the early stages of a relationship. So, don’t jump to conclusions too fast. You might be perfectly comfy with both love and lust.