Wondering what relationship rules you must follow to build the perfect love life? If you answered yes, you have reached the correct page.
This think-piece is all about telling you the science of the art of love… if you know what I mean.
Though many refer to relationships as “difficult to handle” or “complicated”, you’ll know exactly how it can be the best thing you ever experienced.
I’m here with some golden rules that never get old and make your relationship stronger than ever. However, it’s a time-consuming process. So, if you’re ready, just dive in!
40 Relationship Rules You Must Follow
Whether you have just started dating or been married for years, I’ve seen most couples referring to their relationships and marriages as “the worst mistake of their life!”
But it’s all because they don’t have the Holy Grail for relationships!
So, don’t worry… I’m finally here to spill all of my secrets once and for all and help you build the relationship of your dreams.
So, without wasting time, let your relationship blossom with my secrets…
1. Love unconditionally… always, without a question
For any relationship, the foremost rule is to love your partner unconditionally. It’s not called love if you only have feelings for your partner in certain situations. There can be no ‘ifs and buts’ in the relationship.
Whether your partner is experiencing a financial crisis or a major health problem, you must love them throughout.
You cannot quit a relationship because your partner doesn’t give you gifts weekly, or because their beauty faded with time. All these are materialistic standards and love is way beyond that.
So, love your partner truly and unconditionally, even when they’re in ruins.
2. Prioritize your relationship
You may be career oriented or a social person – your relationship must still be your top priority. Do not make your partner feel like they are alone in the relationship. It makes them feel lonely, and they gradually drift away from you.
Yes, you have commitments, but nothing comes before your partner. If you follow this rule and always support them whenever they need you, you will have a happy relationship.
So, learn to invest your time and energy into this bond. After all, your love is an investment that will make your relationship bloom.
3. Communicate your desires
Yes, you get tired after coming home from a long day at work. You only want to lie in bed and watch Netflix. But does your partner want that too? Do you often ignore your partner’s words because you are tired?
Lack of open communication in your relationship invites major trouble. Because you do not know about your partner’s feelings, misunderstandings, assumptions, suspicions, or repressed emotions.
So, make it a rule in your relationship that no matter how tired or busy you are, you will always listen to your partner. Open communication is the key to a healthy relationship.
And if you can’t, reschedule for a better time… don’t just zone out while they keep talking!
4. Hug them as your life depends on it
Whenever you’re depressed, you want to be hugged and comforted. And when your partner hugs you, you feel secure and safe in their arms… you know everything will get better. So, hug your partner often to make them feel the same.
You do not know how much your partner suffers in their daily life. And sometimes they may not even tell you about their problems. So, hug them randomly to comfort and support them.
No, you don’t need to blindly believe me… instead, believe science. When you hug someone, it increases their oxytocin levels, aka the love hormone. Moreover, hugs also reduce stress by balancing cortisol levels. So, never miss the chance to hug your partner.
5. Have lots of sex
Well, love and sex are two different things in a relationship. Don’t mix sex with love, as love is fulfilling your emotional needs, whereas sex talks about your physical needs.
However, sex is a way to express your love for their body. This can boost your partner’s self-esteem and make them feel attractive.
So, have sex often with your partner to show your love towards them. This emotional and physical intimacy combined will help you two bond better and be satisfied in the relationship.
In the initial times, don’t plan sex. Let it be sudden to keep it fascinating and wild. You may have different opinions on having sex, but you certainly cannot deny that it’s one of the most important factors that keep you together.
6. Spend quality time with each other
When I say quality time, I don’t mean fancy dates or a romantic night. It’s only about the two of you doing activities you genuinely love doing with each other.
For example, sitting on the balcony or garden while sipping your coffee. Or, getting under the blankets and binge-watching your favorite show on Netflix. You can also sit and talk and reminisce about your memories together. Whatever makes you both happy together, do it.
The only purpose behind it is to give yourself a break from your hectic routine and spend time with your partner.
7. Be honest… without any ifs and buts
Honesty is the foundation of most successful relationships… and trust me, lies can only offer you momentary comfort while truth takes you long.
Moreover, you can only develop trust if you are honest with your partner. Yes, tiny-little white lies are acceptable if you think the truth may hurt your partner or your partner is not ready to accept the truth yet.
8. Don’t just criticize… constructively criticize!
Now, this rule is just an extension of the previous one. There may be instances when your partner is seeking your opinion on something and with absolute honesty, you may end up hurting them.
For example, they cooked your favorite dish for the first time and asked you how you liked it. Ofcourse, you don’t want to hurt their feelings and neither do you want to lie. So, be very specific while giving your opinion.
You can criticize the dish in a positive tone like ‘It’s good, but I am sure you can improve it with some more flavors.’ This way, your partner will know what to work on and won’t even feel hurt.
9. Indulge in healthy arguments
Let me tell you out and about: every relationship has arguments no matter how perfect it seems from the outside. However, what separates a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one is that the former don’t cross boundaries even during conflicts.
So, lay some foundation rules if you want to be on their team too. Both of you must mutually accept each other’s different points of opinion and perspectives. And make sure you both listen to them, no matter how agitated you are.
Learn to have healthy arguments that devise a solution instead of pointing out each other for mistakes.
10. Be each other’s support
As a couple, you’ll experience both – happy and tough times in your life. And during tough times, it may get difficult to hold on to each other patiently. That’s when you need to make the grip tighter.
Everyone stays during the rosy times, but only a true partner can stand and support during the rough phases. So, no matter what happens, your love for them must never fade… and the thought of leaving the relationship must not even cross your mind.
11. Appreciate them for all the little things
Your partner puts a lot of effort into making you happy. If the efforts go unnoticed, it’ll hurt them. So, even if your partner does a small task only to bring a smile to your face, always appreciate them.
If you neglect their efforts, they’ll eventually stop doing anything for you. In the long run, it may deeply impact your relationship.
For example, if your partner bought your favorite ice cream while returning from work, thank and appreciate them. It will make them feel you respect and value their efforts and motivate them to do more things for you.
12. Allow them personal space
You wish to grow together as a couple… you imagine a future together. Similarly, you also want to grow as an individual because you have some personal goals. So, make it a relationship rule to give each other some personal space.
It doesn’t mean leaving them alone or not checking-in on them for a week straight. Instead, just give them some hours of the day to work on their life, spend time with their friends, or do their favorite activities.
It will tell them how you never wish to threaten their freedom in lieu of a relationship and make your relationship even stronger.
13. Don’t forget the special occasions
Oh, I think this point is more important for men. Girls tend to remember every little detail about the relationship, whereas the boys’ memory is not so great. But of course, it can be the other way around too.
But, but, but… never forget the special occasions like each other’s birthdays or your anniversary, the day you proposed, or your first date.
Your partner remembers this day and wants to celebrate it with you. Probably they expect a surprise from you or at least a heartfelt wish.
Just showing them that you remember the day will alone make them feel special and show that you value your relationship.
14. Practice empathy from the bottom of your heart
Most arguments occur in a relationship when one lacks empathy. Your partner cannot always be in a funny or romantic mood.
They may have a rough work day or be under pressure for something. Sometimes, they may seem annoyed or frustrated with something and shout at you for no reason. But you must understand their situation and control your temper.
Empathize with them, and then try to find out the core of the problem along with its solution.
15. Learn to forgive
To err is human – you need to understand this, accept this and embrace this. Both of you are prone to making mistakes especially during the beginning phases of the relationship when you’re still trying to understand each other. But even in the later stages, you cannot expect your partner to be flawless.
Understand that they’ll make mistakes, and you must forget them without making it a big deal… unless the mistakes violate your boundaries.
This will also urge them to forget and forgive your mistakes. Gradually, your relationship will grow in the right way.
16. Show interest in their hobbies.
As different individuals, you’ll have different hobbies. Your partner may like reading books, and you may be more fond of movies. But, in a relationship, you need to accept your partner’s hobbies just as your own. Instead of asking them to spend less time on it, join them.
Ask them which author’s books they like, why they like them, what genre they prefer, or when they started reading… to show your interest in their hobbies. Soon, you will start enjoying their hobby too.
17. Ask for things clearly instead of dropping cues
I know you want your partner to understand you even with silence. But on days, they can’t and you still keep waiting for them to understand your signals, you will end up hurting yourself.
Instead, ask your partner what you want directly and make your relationship less complicated. Transparency always works like magic to keep two individuals together for a long time.
18. Accept their flaws
How would you feel if your partner constantly controls you and expects you to be perfect? Your partner feels the same when you cannot accept their flaws. Yes, pointing out their bad habits and trying to change them is good… but never expect them to be perfect.
You will only be happy in a relationship when you accept each other’s flaws. If you try to change your partner or make them flawless, you will only feel disappointed in the relationship.
Further, your efforts will all be in vain until your partner tries to change themselves willingly.
19. Do not fail your promises
Do you remember how many promises you made at the beginning of the relationship? Now, count and tell me how many of them you fulfilled.
People make unrealistic promises and give false hopes to others. This is the biggest mistake you can make in your relationship.
Why do I say this?
Because once you break your promise, you break your partner’s trust, which will affect you both and your relationship.
Your partner will assume you’re less trustworthy and reliable. So, avoid it at all costs to build a happy relationship.
20. Strive hard to be your best version
I may not be the first one to tell you this. You must have read it in many books, but it is one simple rule you can follow for any relationship.
Don’t try to be perfect or fear making mistakes. Rather, focus on giving your best to this relationship and I promise, that will be enough.
Your partner’s reaction to your efforts is not under your control, so stop thinking about appreciation or criticism.
21. Remember: Respect is non-negotiable
Respect > Love
Yes, you read that right. A relationship can still survive without love, but without respect, it will be in the ruins.
It’s not only about treating them with respect in public. But, you must also privately respect their time, efforts, soul, and personality.
Respect isn’t something you show off publicly and forget behind closed doors. It should come from within you.
Always remember, you receive what you give. So, if you respect your partner, you will undoubtedly receive it from them.
Moreover, be cautious about your actions. Specifically avoid name-calling, threatening, checking their phones, or doing anything that strains your relationship.
22. Never… ever… compare them with others
The worst thing you can do with your partner is compare them with others.
Well, honestly, I feel social media is the root cause of it. If you also look at other’s romantic pictures and compare them with your partner, stop doing it at once before it’s too late. It’s only going to ruin your beautiful relationship.
Your partner is different from others, and probably that’s why you loved them in the first place. Recall the first time you told them, ‘You are different from others.’ Now, remember that.
You love them because they are unique. So, why even compare them with others?
23. Start making little efforts
Little efforts help you go a long way. Always remember loving someone and building a relationship is not an overnight task. You must water your love plant every day. Both small and big consistent actions will help your relationship grow.
Wondering how to follow this rule? It’s simple… get them a bunch of roses, or help them in the kitchen today. For a change, eat from the same plate or maybe just hug them without announcement.
You don’t need rocket science to make them happy. Remember, it’s all about the *little* things.
24. Value loyalty
This relationship rule needs no special introduction. Loyalty is a building ground of most healthy relationships. No matter how many flaws you have, your partner will always love you if you are loyal.
Sometimes your hormones may get out of control, and you may get attracted to someone else. What do you do then?
Do not react to these hormones. Remind yourself of the person waiting for you back at home… do you want to see them in tears? Don’t ruin your beautiful relationship impulsively.
If you are unhappy in your relationship, talk to your partner, and break up. If you think it has become monotonous, try to ignite the spark in it. But never, never cheat. Always stay loyal to whoever you are dating.
25. Don’t forget to pamper each other
If you desire a dreamy relationship, never miss a chance to pamper your partner. Take care of them like you’re protecting a precious stone.
If you are unavailable, do not complain when someone else gives more attention to your partner or even replaces you.
26. Spend some time just with yourself
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you must constantly be with your partner. Surely, you can spare some time for yourself to figure out your career, relax a bit, watch your favorite show, or chill with your friends.
Only if you are happy individually, will you be able to keep your partner happy in your relationship. If you’re frustrated and only spend time with your partner 24*7, you will take it all out on them, leading to major fights.
So, allow yourself some ‘me-time’ and watch the magic unfold in your relationship.
27. Let your partner enjoy with their friends
Don’t be clingy and tag along with your partner all the time. Allow them the breathing space to chill with their friends. If you go to a party together, don’t keep following them to every corner. Let them reminisce on some old memories with their friends… while you can make some new friends.
You can also occasionally host lunch or dinner for your partner and their friends. Your partner will be surprised to see you making these little efforts and love you even more.
28. Never forget the money-talk
It may sound awkward, but yes, discussing finances is important. If you just started dating or went on a few dates, it’s not that urgent. But, before you move in, make sure to have this conversation. Understand both of your spending habits.
Moreover, your incomes are also different, so discuss who will be responsible for which expenses and how much you will save every month. Understand each other’s thoughts about money and respect them.
29. Don’t bring up past issues.
Have you come across a saying, ‘Let bygones be bygones?’
Never, I repeat, NEVER bring up past issues every time you fight and make your partner feel guilty about it – with time, it will only turn toxic.
Otherwise, your partner will eventually get fed up with you and think you cannot see them in a positive light ever.
Moreover, everyone has a past. So, if you cannot accept your partner’s past, walk out of it because there’s no future until you can make peace with the past.
30. Never air your dirty laundry publicly
You will damage your relationship irreversibly if you belittle your partner publicly. Never commit the mistake of arguing with them in public.
Yes, your partner may be wrong, but always support them in front of others and correct them in private.
Don’t speak badly about your partner in front of others or try to prove them wrong. Remember, your partner’s reputation is also yours.
31. There’s no shame in saying sorry
Yes, you might make mistakes, so be bold enough to own them whenever your partner points them out. Apologize before the matter goes out of hand and your partner thinks you do not care about their feelings.
32. Sneakily hide your complaint in a compliment
I asked you to give constructive criticism to your partner. But if that’s not working in your favor, you can always try this rule of hiding a complaint with a compliment.
If your partner sees your positive criticism as constant cribbing and nagging, you’re doing it wrong. So, opt for this alternative.
Talk about all the positive things they do and appreciate them. Compliment them for every small thing, and then subtly talk about your complaint. This way the entire focus of the conversation will not be on the complaint and your partner will also try to work on it to receive more appreciation from you.
33. Pour in some humor to your words
Don’t be a serious and grumpy old man/woman. Your partner deals with several problems every day… so, give them a break. Be humorous and add a lively element in your talks to make your partner stress-free.
Let your partner know that you will do anything to put a smile on their face. This way, your relationship will blossom like never before.
34. Try to experiment in bed
Yes, you expect your partner to be great in bed but do you know that they also expect the same from you? So stop going missionary every time and instead, go doggy! 😉
Buy some kinky stuff of your mutual choice. Maybe you can try different poses or dress up in a way your partner wants you to be. Keep the excitement in the bed alive if you want your relationship to be exciting.
35. Recognize your partner’s love language
You and your partner may not express love in the same way. For you, expressing love may be going for fancy dates. But for your partner, it may be cooking your favorite dish. So, you must understand your partner’s love language to make them feel loved.
If you keep showering your love on them in your love language, it’ll not have the kind of impact you’re expecting.
36. Embrace the differences
One of the most important rules of a healthy relationship is to understand and accept your differences. Some of these differences can be based on gender too.
For example, men want to spend time alone when stressed, while women want to talk about their problems with their loved ones. Before judging your partner, understand these fundamental differences.
Knowing and accepting such differences will only help you deepen your bond because you will stop complaining about them.
37. Ask them out on dates
Even if you have been together for years, never stop going out on dates.
When you first started going out, dates brought you together and added flavor to your bond. It can add the same spice today as well.
You don’t need fancy dinner dates. Instead, create your unique definition of dates. You may even stay at home and cook together. The purpose behind it is to enjoy each other’s company and reconnect.
P.S. Don’t talk about bills or problems on these dates. Only spend time laughing and talking with each other.
38. Plan how you’ll grow together
While following individual goals, you often tend to forget that you also need to grow together as a couple.
So, while you are occupied in your personal life, don’t forget to check on your partner and plan your future with them. Otherwise, with time, your relationship might turn void.
39. Build the virtue of patience
Your partner may have several habits that you don’t approve of, and it annoys you the core.
But at this point, your partner is already guilty of their mistake, so be patient. If you’re angry, they will no longer have the courage to ask for your help.
So, focus on your approach to the problem. Be patient so that you can talk to your partner and help them walk out with their problems or mistakes.
40. Quit with the games
If you’re one of them who plays dirty tricks in a relationship, it’s time to quit them. Playing with someone’s heart is the biggest sin you can make.
If you aren’t serious about your relationship, there’s no harm in that only if you communicate that to your partner. But don’t play with someone’s heart as it may take the person years to move on and trust someone again to love them.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Remember, these relationship rules won’t turn your life magical overnight, it will need time. You might also not be able to follow all these rules at once.
So, focus on putting consistent efforts and you’ll reach a point where you can implement them in real life and bask in a healthy relationship.
Moreover, these rules are applicable in everyone’s relationship. But, there are many unsaid and unique rules that will apply exclusively to your bond. So, you can also create your own relationship rules depending on your bond.
So, while you practice these, observe your relationship closely and find other beautiful ways to enjoy a healthy and harmonious relationship!
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...