If you suspect strong signs that your boyfriend is not sexually attracted to you, it can feel upsetting.
However, that doesn’t mean your relationship has to come to an end! Even if you feel that the spark on the bed is lost, there are steps you can take to mend things in the bedroom.
So come on, let’s get started!
Signs your boyfriend is not sexually attracted to you
It’s normal for physical desire and attraction to fade over time. After the honeymoon phase, couples settle in and it’s not the same anymore.
However, if you feel that your boyfriend doesn’t want you at all or that he might be sexually attracted to someone else instead of you, that can become concerning. So, let’s discuss some signs below and be sure before you confront him.
1. There is almost no physical contact
Well, sex doesn’t just start by jumping in the bed, right? There must be a lot of physical affection and cuddling to get the game going.
But if you see that your boyfriend simply doesn’t feel like initiating any sort of physical contact, let alone sexual ones, then it might be a sign that he isn’t interested in it.
Even though physical touches aren’t always about sex, two people sexually attracted to one another will engage in different forms of physical intimacy.
2. He has difficulty with erections
Of course, this doesn’t always mean that your man isn’t sexually attracted to you. But if you know that earlier, he used to get an erection just at the thought of you, and things have changed now, it might be a sign that you have to reevaluate your sex life.
A healthy man shouldn’t have problems getting himself hard while having sex with his girlfriend.
3. He doesn’t make any eye contact
Humans are designed in a way such that they will initiate or maintain eye contact with someone they find attractive.
Your boyfriend might not keep staring at you in a sultry manner every second of the day, but even then, if he’s sexually attracted to you, you can read it in his eyes.
On the other hand, a man who’s not attracted to his girlfriend anymore won’t initiate any kind of eye contact. He’ll probably shift his gaze or not even give you a look when you’re looking at him.
4. He has stopped complimenting you
Sex has a lot of heart, but not just that. It has some physical attraction to it as well. So a guy who’s interested in getting intimate with his girlfriend will never get enough of her beauty.
He’ll tell her how hot she looks in a new dress or how sexy her hair looks. If your man barely gives you any compliments or if his compliments seem half-hearted, it usually indicates his lack of interest in sex.
5. You catch him masturbating more often
Now, this can truly feel heartbreaking. While there’s nothing wrong with a man pleasuring himself without your help, look out for signs indicating he would rather spend time alone than have sex with you.
If you see that he has been masturbating quite a lot recently and refuses to have sex with you, it’s a big hint that he doesn’t find you sexually attractive anymore. Even when you try to make a move on him, he might shift away or brush away your advances.
6. He hates talking about sex
Rarely will you find a man who isn’t up for talking about sex and other naughty things. But things are not so good if your man tries to change the topic whenever you hint at something dirty.
Try bringing up the topic in a fun and flirty kind of way. If he seems off or irritated at the thought of you both spending some sexy times alone, it means he isn’t interested.
7. He rejects your physical touches
Another major unfortunate sign that your boyfriend doesn’t want to have sex with you is when he outright rejects your physical advances.
It’s one thing when he doesn’t initiate it on his own. But it’s a whole other kind of problem when you try to turn him on but find yourself becoming sorely disappointed.
Does he shift uncomfortably or put your hand away when you touch him? That can be an alarming sign.
8. He doesn’t take care of his appearance
If you both have been dating for a long time, you’ll realize that people become more and more comfortable around each other, to the point where they feel that it’s fine not to look glamorous all the time. But that is quite different from not making any effort at all.
If your boyfriend always appears sloppy and careless and makes absolutely no effort to change his appearance, it’s a red flag. And this can be further proved if he looks clean and sharp for others but not for you.
9. He has stopped being flirty
This might sound strange, but flirting is actually a very healthy sign of a relationship. It indicates that the spark between two people still exists and that they’re still attracted to one another.
But if your boyfriend has completely stopped the flirting game and shifts to a more serious topic whenever you try to flirt with him, it’s a sign that he no longer wants you.
For example, if you both sit across one another and give him a playful wink, he might politely smile and look away instead of continuing the game.
10. He talks to you in a boring way
No matter how comfortable your man is with you, he’ll always treat you differently from other women. That is if he still finds you sexy.
But if he isn’t sexually attracted to you anymore, he will start talking to you like he would to his sister or just another female friend.
While girlfriends shouldn’t be viewed simply as a thing of desire, a man will never stop putting effort into wooing you. But when he begins to treat you more like you’re his roommate or a buddy, you know things are not right.
11. He forgets things you tell him
This might actually be a bigger problem than it seems. In addition to not being interested in having sex with you, it’s also a sign that he’s barely paying attention to what you’re talking about. And that’s not just disrespectful but also quite alarming.
If he truly wants to be with you, he will listen to your likes and dislikes, especially regarding sex.
However, a disinterested man will simply nod and say yes instead of taking the topic further… and conveniently forget the next time this topic pops up.
12. Sex feels strange with him
Even when you’re having sex with him, it might feel forced and strange if he’s not into it. Perhaps he simply wants to get over it and continue doing something else. He might seem incredibly distracted to the point where it feels like he’s rushing the process.
On the other hand, if your boyfriend really wants to have sex with you, he’ll take his time and make you feel heavenly!
13. He makes excuses to not have sex with you
Are you currently experiencing a phase where you try to initiate sex but your boyfriend seems to come up with all sorts of excuses to skip it? If your answer is yes, then it’s a major sign that he’s trying to avoid sex with you as much as possible.
If it’s something related to his physical or mental health, you’ll be able to see it because even then, he will at least be romantic towards you. But a man who has stopped fantasizing about you will keep avoiding the entire idea of having sex.
14. He finds other women attractive
Sure, he can find other women attractive. But when he’s dating you, he isn’t supposed to fantasize about them or sexually think of them, right?
Unfortunately, when men lose interest in having sex with their girlfriends, they’ll resort to other options like having dirty thoughts about them.
He might keep staring at another attractive woman or tell you how beautiful he finds her. These are all major red flags.
15. He compares you to other women
Some men can take things even further by actually comparing their girlfriends with other women, especially in terms of physical beauty.
For example, he might tell you things like. “This woman at work was looking so sexy today! Why don’t you dress up like that sometime?”
Even though these phrases might sound harmless, it’s his way of indirectly letting you know that he would rather have sex with someone else than you.
16. Anything you do upsets him
This can be perceived as his disinterest in either having sex with you or with the entire relationship. Small things he used to find charming now annoy him, and he isn’t shy about expressing them.
Well, if this is the case, then it’s a clear indication that things have changed between you both. He wants to stay away from you but isn’t able to express that openly, which is why your actions are getting on his nerves.
Even if he was formerly relaxed, his behavior might change drastically. This is his way of letting out his frustration.
17. He picks fights with you
This is also closely related to his disappointment with you regarding sex. Your boyfriend probably loves you but isn’t satisfied with what you both do in the bedroom. As a result, he cannot vent his frustration and all this bottled-up anger results in a cranky mood.
Even if he does it unintentionally, he’ll pick fights with you over the smallest of things.
And if you mention sex or anything remotely flirty, he’ll brush you off by saying things like, “Why are you always talking about sex?” or “I’m too tired to talk about the same thing again and again”.
18. You both go to bed at different times
Even though this sign is subtle, it’s something you shouldn’t miss out on. If you normally go to bed together but notice him sleeping earlier or later than you, then it means that he’s not willing to cuddle with you or do anything physical that might lead to sex.
He is ensuring that there’s absolutely no chance of any physical intimacy. He might even give you excuses like “I have been working late!” or “I am really tired today.”
Although this might also be caused due to work problems, keep an eye out for how he behaves during other times of the day.
19. He wants sex only when he’s drunk
Wanting sex only when he’s drunk is a really big red flag. It only indicates that he doesn’t want you when he’s sober.
If someone needs the influence of alcohol to feel attracted to you, it’s time to sit down and think about what’s going wrong with your sex life. No man should love you only when he’s drunk.
Unfortunately, many men feel other women are more attractive when drunk, so ensure you have your eyes and ears open.
20. He makes negative comments about your appearance
Sometimes, when a man doesn’t want you sexually, he comments negatively about your appearance. This can start with subtle hints like, “Why don’t you go to the gym to lose some weight?” and then go to “I wish you’d look more like her”.
Even though each comment might feel really insulting, it’s important to remember that he’s probably not doing it out of hatred but out of frustration. Nevertheless, you must stand up to him and talk things through.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
If you’re sure that your boyfriend has been exhibiting many or at least some of these signs, then it’s high time you both must sit down and have an open conversation. He might shy away or tell you that everything is fine, but you know better. So don’t give up hope, and try your best to reignite the spark!
Are you interested to know more about ‘How To Be Friends With Your Ex?’ then click here?
Are you interested to know more about ‘How To Get A Girl To Kiss You’ then click here?
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...