Now Reading
Selfish Husband – Know 35+ Signs and Ways to Deal With Him

Selfish Husband – Know 35+ Signs and Ways to Deal With Him

Updated on Sep 20, 2023

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

Selfish Husband - Signs and Ways to Deal With Him

Marriage is a lifetime partnership of two persons that requires equal commitment and loyalty to balance the vehicle of life. 

But, one of the uncommon things that can happen in a marriage is dealing with a selfish husband.

There is no surprise that it’s hard to cooperate. They never show any support and concern for you as well as the relationship. 

Being selfish is caring about oneself alone, regardless of how your partner feels. This situation leads to suffocation and problems in marriage. 

Seeing your husband being selfish is a cue to not expect anything from his side. Since he never treats you as an important person in his life.

If you are wondering how to tell if he is a selfish person, then here is the complete guide. Analyze the signs and ways to deal with his selfishness. 

So, let’s dig deeper into it. 

Selfish Husband Infographic

Selfish Husband - Signs and Ways to Deal With Him
Selfish Husband – Signs and Ways to Deal With Him

Selfish Husband – Is It Normal?

It depends on the why and how much your partner’s selfish behavior lasts long. Therefore, there isn’t any ideal answer to this question.

For example, if he is working and has a deadline to meet, then he might work on weekends. Therefore, he doesn’t give you enough time and also does not help with household chores.

However, there is a difference between this type of selfish behavior because it has an endpoint and normal selfishness. This selfishness has to come to an end after a certain point in time. 

If your partner is doing so, don’t worry. It’s not a sign of losing him or the relationship.

On the other hand, if he always shows carelessness and selfishness such as not sharing about how his day was with you or hiding something important to you. 

Then, it’s a sign you should talk to him and understand the reason behind this behavior.

Therefore, you should look at the reason behind his selfishness whether it’s permanent or temporary.

And act upon the situation by identifying the concerns and resolving the issue.

Selfish Husband Signs

A selfish husband is one who does not take care of the needs and wants of his spouse. He may be unsupportive, controlling, or abusive. 

The signs of a selfish husband are often easy to spot from the outside. However, it can be difficult for a woman to recognize them. She may feel that he is being attentive or loving.

Therefore, the following are signs that your husband is selfish.

1. He is very distant from you

Is he very distant from you? He has been working late for the past few weeks and you are starting to feel like he is not interested in you anymore.

You have been trying to get his attention, but he always seems too busy.

You are feeling frustrated because you cannot figure out what is going on with him. There are so many things that could be wrong.

At times, it’s hard to tell if it’s a temporary issue or something more serious. 

The best thing to do in this situation would be to talk about your feelings with him. But the problem is that he doesn’t seem like he wants that conversation at all.

2. He does not show any interest in your work

It’s not uncommon for a husband to show no interest in his wife’s work. However, this is not likely to be the case if the wife is an entrepreneur. 

Entrepreneurs have an instinctive need to share their work with others and get feedback on it. If a husband does not show any interest in her work, she should take steps to understand what is going on.

The first question she should ask herself is whether or not she has been successful at communicating her passion for her business and what it stands for. 

If the answer is yes, then she should consider talking more about her business and how it will impact the world in order to motivate him.

3. He is the boss in the relationship

A selfish husband is a man who does not put his wife’s needs before his own. He may be a good provider, but he is not a good partner.

He may be the breadwinner of the family, but he doesn’t do anything to help around the house. 

He may have been raised in a household where women were expected to take care of everything and he has never learned how to do anything for himself or others.

He may also be someone who has been hurt by past relationships and now feels that it is safer to keep people at arm’s length.

4. He only focuses on himself and ignores you

It seems that these days, more and more people are becoming self-centered. A lot of them don’t care about anything except themselves. This can be seen in many different ways, but the most common is in marriage.

A selfish husband only focuses on himself and never considers his wife’s feelings. He is focused on his own needs and wants without considering the impact it has on her.

Some people think that this type of behavior is normal, but it is not healthy in a marriage.

A husband should put his wife first and make sure that she is happy before he does anything for himself.

5. A selfish husband never says sorry even if it’s his mistake

A selfish husband never says sorry. He doesn’t apologize for his mistakes and he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions. A selfish husband always blames others for the things he has done wrong.

A selfish husband is one who refuses to admit that he is wrong, or at fault in any way. He will always find a way to make it seem like it’s not his fault and that it’s all someone else’s fault.

6. He never thanks you for doing so much for him

A selfish husband never thanks you for all the things you do for him, but he will always find a way to show his appreciation.

This type of behavior is common among men. They often let their pride and ego get in the way of admitting they were wrong, and tend to think that if they don’t say anything, then you won’t notice. 

Men often seem to think that if they do not say anything, then you will not be mad at them for doing something wrong – but this is false! Communication is a two-way street. 

It’s important to share thoughts, feelings, and emotions with one another in order to be emotionally mature adults.

7. A selfish husband always criticizes you

Your partner, as a loving husband, should bring out the best in you by pointing out your flaws and encouraging you to be the best version of yourself.

We are all too familiar with the feeling of being criticized by our spouses. It’s a problem that has been around for centuries, but we have yet to find a solution. 

It’s hard to imagine a scenario where you’re not criticized by your spouse. It’s an age-old problem that has yet to be solved. 

A selfish husband always criticizes his wife. He never praises her. He always finds her fault.

He is a selfish man who thinks he knows everything and has all the answers.

8. He doesn’t compliment you for doing good things

A selfish husband doesn’t compliment his wife.

– He usually says “You look good” instead of “You are beautiful.”

– He doesn’t tell her she’s a great mom.

– He doesn’t take the time to listen to her when she talks about her day.

– He never tells her she looks sexy and that he wants to have sex with her.

– He never compliments the way she cooks dinner or cleans the house.

A selfish husband is a person who cares only about himself and his own desires. He will not go out of his way to do something for his wife, and he will not compliment her either. 

This may be because he is too proud or because he doesn’t love her as much as she loves him, but either way it can have a negative effect on the marriage.

9. He avoids communication with you

A selfish husband is not only a problem for the wife but also for the children. This type of behavior can be seen in many marriages where the husband wants to avoid communication and responsibility.

There are many reasons why husbands behave like this and it is important to understand that it is not just about being selfish. 

Often, they are afraid of talking about their feelings because they don’t want to feel vulnerable or maybe they have been hurt in the past.

The best way to help a husband who behaves like this is by being patient and understanding.

It takes time, but if you are patient then he will eventually open up and share his feelings with you instead of bottling them up inside.

To have a good marriage, honesty & open communication are key.

As long as you can talk to your partner about various things and be honest with each other, it’ll make the both of you feel comfortable and just in general better.

Your husband doesn’t really know how to listen and he’s not interested in improving, which is difficult for you. 

It’s up to you to make the marriage work since he won’t make any effort that could be perceived as communicating with you unless he feels like it.

10. He never displays affection towards you

Some people think that it is selfish for a husband to not show affection to his wife. But what is the point of showing affection if the wife doesn’t feel loved?

No displays of affection can be a sign that the husband does not care about his wife or doesn’t respect her. It can also be a sign that he wants to protect her from things he thinks are bad for her.

They want to keep them safe from any type of harm they could get into. 

11. Sex is everything for him

Sex is everything for a selfish husband. He only thinks about himself and his own needs. A wife can’t be happy in her marriage if her husband is selfish.

A selfish husband is a serious problem for any marriage. Such a husband often only thinks about himself, and his wife will never be happy if she doesn’t feel like her needs are being met. 

It’s important that both parties feel as though they’re getting what they need out of their marriage.

It’s important for any man to realize that he needs to do more for his wife than just provide her with material things. 

He needs to ensure that he spends a lot of quality time with her, pays attention when she talks, and also takes note of any cues she may be giving him.

12. He doesn’t take your advice for any matter

A relationship is like a house. It takes two people to make it work, but one person to ruin it.

When the house is in order, both people are happy and willing to do what they can to keep it that way. But when one person starts making selfish decisions, the other person has to decide.

Do they want the relationship enough for them to put up with the bad behavior or if they just want out?

In such situations, the wife usually tries her best to keep things going with her husband.

As she wants him back on track and doing what he wants her to do because she wants a successful marriage.  

However, their leniency may go for a toss because a selfish husband is never in a mood to take advice.

13. He doesn’t take you out on romantic dates

It is selfish when one person in the relationship refuses to go out on a date with the other.

It seems like they are not interested in getting to know their partner and this could be a sign of something more serious.

The first date is the most important, but it seems like some people are too afraid to put themselves out there.

There are a variety of reasons someone would not be interested in going on a date with someone. 

These may include, but are not limited to: they are looking for something serious and can’t see themselves developing a relationship with their date.

Else, they don’t find the person attractive, or they have.

14. He doesn’t pay attention to you

A husband who rarely acknowledges his wife could be too wrapped up in himself to show any outward sign of affection. Once your husband starts acting this way, he may be a sociopath. 

This would mean that he is completely self-centered & has no consideration for anything else in his life, including you. 

These types of guys often have a selfish attitude, which can cause you to feel less important to them in the relationship.

This attitude might make your partner act like you don’t exist and ignore you or forget to include you in important plans.

When you point out these tendencies to him, he doesn’t understand what the problem is.

The idea that a wife should be a better lover and listener is one of the biggest myths about marriage. 

A lot of women believe that if they were just better wives, their husbands would find them more attractive and start being attentive to them.

But this couldn’t be further from the truth.

15. He is unaware that the relationship is growing unhealthy

Everyone has disagreements with their partner, but recognizing these and then figuring out their root cause is an important step. 

Sometimes it’s not that easy and second opinions can be really helpful. A selfish husband won’t notice how miserable you are in the marriage.

It sounds like you may be trying to save the relationship or ignore problems for harmony’s sake, but that only goes so far. 

You can try to save it on your own for a little while, but if it doesn’t work out, you might benefit from seeking professional help. You might lash out eventually – and that’s a good thing. 

It’ll catch your selfish, self-absorbed husband off guard since he’s been too busy with himself to see how unhappy you are.

16. The way he treats you is just not good

He clearly doesn’t care about your needs even when he’s got a lot of free time & energy to do whatever he wants. It’s so rude of him!

When he doesn’t seem to care about what you’re communicating, then it is safe to say that you are in a selfish relationship.

The way you’ll know he’s done this is by noticing it in a number of ways, like when he starts to blank out in the middle of the conversation, failing to ever help out or even say thank you when you ask him. 

Additionally, he might just passively sit on the couch and never talk to you.

If he’s not interested in what you want, you have to tell him. Trying to act like him will push him away even further and could cause resentment. 

Just tell him honestly and open up the conversation if you need help with how to do that without upsetting his emotions.

17. He puts his work above you and never prioritizes you

It’s easy to assume that because he’s not your boss, he must necessarily be putting his work before his family.

But there are a lot of factors that go into why he may be at work late on certain nights or early on others.

If you regularly criticize him for how much work he has, he may start to think you don’t appreciate what he does at work to support your family.

It’s likely to undermine his hero instinct and make him want to work less.

As much as you’d love your husband to focus on you and the relationship at home, it’s not good when he becomes an afterthought. 

We suggest having a talk with him to discuss this and see how the two of you can work together in order to each feel satisfied.

18. Your happiness is not his priority

Nobody can make another person happy, but we can share and celebrate our happiness together.

It is good that you have found somebody who makes you happy and I wish both of you all the best.

When your husband’s happiness and satisfaction seem like an afterthought, it might be time to look into the possible reasons behind it.

This is especially true if he demands a lot and never helps. If this is the case, it’s possible that you’re starting a toxic, dependent cycle that you need to quit.

A healthy marriage includes knowing when to let a partner be and supporting them unconditionally, but you also have to give back. Compassion goes both ways!

If he’s already been shady and you’re frustrated with the relationship, maybe it’s time to be a little selfish and find happiness on your own.

19. All chores are always up to you

Even in a happy marriage, it’s not uncommon for responsibilities to be divided. If your spouse isn’t doing their share, you should talk to them about it.

Either he’s ordering everyone around or relaxing, just acting like the boss of this place.

Eventually, you’re the one who does the chores and gets things done. Selfish husbands might be living with outdated views on gender norms.

They may believe that a woman’s place is in the kitchen or should be in charge of all household chores. 

Because they’re so self-centered, they won’t lend a hand to help out around the house at all.

You’re probably sick of hearing it, but you do all the work around the house and he never helps you without asking.

Plus, even if he did offer to help, he’s unlikely to do anything without your permission.

20. He doesn’t come to you after a fight

A self-centered guy will never fess up and apologize, no matter what he does. Why so? Because he’s only thinking about himself, it doesn’t matter enough to say sorry.

This one might not be for you. Even when he is running late or getting mad, sometimes it’s just because he felt like it, and it has nothing to do with you. 

Or when he comes home drunk from the bar, it’s not always your fault either – sometimes he just enjoys a few happy hour drinks after work.

21. According to him he always wins the fight

Consider the captain of a hockey team deciding who wins the game based on who played the best. He’d probably pick his own side.

Your egotistical husband epitomizes this. He always wins every fight, no matter how ugly it gets or how many times he crosses the line and delivers low blows.

And after it’s all over and you’re a shambles, don’t expect him to apologize, and if he does, it’ll be half-hearted.

It’s difficult to say what’s going on with this guy. However, there’s no doubt he’s a selfish husband.

The next time he expects you to be his prop in an endless argument about his nonsense, you have every right to simply walk away.

22. He has control over your money

When your husband is selfish, they gain less control over the money you earn.

It’s your partner who decides how your finances should be spent.

You can’t buy anything without your husband asking where the money went.

Your husband never lets you have any input on what he does with his money. It’s frustrating, right? If he does all these, then it’s a sign of a selfish husband. 

23. He ignores your looks

Your selfish husband just doesn’t seem to notice – or care – when he’s on a roll.

It’s a good thing to get compliments for your hard work but doesn’t expect them often from him.

You remember this person saying something nice to you once, but it’s not the type of thing you would ever hear from someone as self-centered.

Men act nice to you at work and appreciate your presence, some even find you attractive

But, if you’re trying to gauge your spouse’s interest in sex as any indication, you might just as well be handing out chocolate pudding in little cups that come with toothpicks.

He doesn’t look at you or say anything positive to you.

The trick in a situation like this is to not let his behavior affect you and stay confident. Once you have a strong sense of who you are, don’t try to get his attention any longer.

If he doesn’t understand your hints, don’t let him off the hook by keeping yourself to yourself. Engage with him and try to compliment him – see what happens. 

If it seems like this will be a never-ending struggle, it’s time for marriage counseling.

24. He doesn’t share anything with you

Your selfish husband will often shut down during the day – some days he’ll be so absorbed in things like his phone and social media that he won’t be able to communicate with you. 

You might get some grunts, demands, or even laughs here and there, but think about how often you’ll get to have a real conversation with him.

Even when you try, he just seems uninterested. He may be scared of commitment since he doesn’t seem to find talking with you a priority.

It’s important to convey to your boyfriend/significant other that you’re not simply a doll in the store, but also a living and breathing person who wants to have conversations and share feelings with them.

“It’s a sound explanation.”

25. You do not share romantic times together

Whether it’s a romantic night out or just some quality time together, the selfish husband is a total slacker when it comes to spending time together. 

Instead, he’d rather hang out with his guy friends, watch some TV or (probably) jerk off to porn in his man cave.

Unfortunately, it seems like things from before (when you were dating) that made love more exciting now seem to be gone.

Even when you ask him out, he is unsure and not very into the idea. Plus, what are you putting yourself through walking him through it in order to plan a romantic date for him?

If you’re here, that means you might be dealing with a self-centered spouse and it’s time for help.

26. You are not part of his plans

The selfish husband is not telling you all the details of his plans and he wants to exclude you from everything.

He sometimes does this in a disrespectful and heartless way.

For instance, he forgot to go to an event you both discussed and said he would attend together instead of doing anything with his friends or playing golf

Sometimes the content will be stupid, like having you check out a restaurant that doesn’t serve your kind of food and then joking about how salads are bad. 

It’ll constantly guilt you over how good the meat is and how not-good salad is.

If you’re in a situation where you feel like your husband doesn’t care about your needs, it’s probably time to confront him.

27. He doesn’t care about where the relationship is going

What a selfish husband! He doesn’t care that much and is just going to sit back and do nothing.

It might seem like he doesn’t see that the relationship is bad or doesn’t care, but it could also just be that he’s noticing the issues in bursts or not at all.

Even if he senses the relationship is deteriorating, and you tell him directly that it is, and you want his involvement- he’ll tend to tune out or make only the most basic efforts to salvage the life you have built together.

In this case, you’ve reached the end of the road and need to decide if your partner is willing to be “extraordinary” enough

There’s only so much you can do for someone else, and no matter what you do, if he wants to be selfish – it’s up to him at the end of the day.

28. He isn’t there when you need him

When times get tough in life, we need someone to console us and show support.

If your husband is a selfish man who can’t understand that, he won’t do anything to cheer you up or even notice if you’re feeling sad.

You can’t count on him to make you happy, or even notice when something is going wrong.

He might not comfort you the same way you would for him and he sees your pain as annoying or tiring to deal with.

The only things he notices are when you snub him or make a mistake.

It’s really hard for people to pay attention to you when they’re all negative and aggressive, which is something you don’t want.

29. He doesn’t respect you

Respect can be shown in many different ways and it’s definitely possible for a husband to show that he does not care about you at all.

There are some signs of disrespect in a marriage, such as when you’re talking to your spouse and they stop you right in the middle of what you’re saying without listening on any level.

Since a selfish man is uncaring, he is not appreciative of your time which means he will never communicate with you and spend time with you.

He does not care about your love and may even outright abuse it.

You should be available for him at all times, no matter what his schedule is, and bend over backward to accommodate it.

30. He is unconcerned about your needs in bed

Sometimes, even in the bedroom, you can’t get what you need from a selfish husband. He’s more concerned about what he wants & goes at his own pace. 

Unfortunately, though, that doesn’t mean he’s trying to please you or make sure you’re content either.

He also doesn’t care if you’re in the mood for sex; he only wants to have it when he’s in the mood to sleep with you. 

Even after doing it, he won’t care if you are satisfied and will simply turn over, not even cuddling you.

31. He is unconcerned about your friends and family

Getting along with your spouse’s family and friends is important. When they get along, they usually respect each other.

Sometimes spouses grow to even love the other person’s family and friends as much as their own.

The situation with a selfish husband is not the same. They do not care about your family friends and they are open about it too.

Plus, they’re selfish & don’t really care what other people think.

32. He doesn’t plan special things for you

There is a lot of disagreement over public displays of affection, but it’s hard to resist the occasional kiss or hug from your partner, especially when you need it.

Selfish husbands won’t do these sorts of things, nor will they care to kiss, hug or cuddle you.

They don’t want to. However, they expect YOU to do all of that for them! It’s not fair.

33. He never takes you on outings 

It’s nice to have a romantic date night with your spouse every now and then so the two of you can rekindle the romance in your marriage. 

A dinner date, movie date, or trip together can help liven things up and remind you of how much you love each other.

It sounds like your husband isn’t interested in balancing a relationship and focusing on you. People who are selfish would never consider going on a romantic date with their partner.

34. He never admits his mistake

Your husband does not seem to be able to admit when he is wrong. This is a selfish, childish move.

He’ll likely reject other people’s opinions and can be extremely critical of ones that don’t line up.

This indicates that he is slightly narcissistic and self-interested, both of which are traits of a selfish personality.

35. He has no manners 

As we all know, selfish people don’t notice much of what’s going on around them. They might not be good at showing manners or saying thank you and might dominate the conversation. 

He might be careless and don’t pay attention to the house and what’s going on in the relationship.

In any case, this sign of a selfish husband is pretty obvious.

36. He always wants you to come and apologize first

Is it you who always seems to be the one apologizing or trying to make up with your partner after a fight? It’s alright if that’s the case. 

You should do so if you’re at fault since it’s important to apologize and forgive in order for things to continue running smoothly.

That’s a good point. It shouldn’t be every time, and it would make sense if they were the ones who started the argument or did something wrong.

If your husband always expects you to come to him first and never initiates, he is selfish. He doesn’t appear to care about your feelings, and he values you less than he should.

37. He never supports you

Whenever there are ‘family issues,’ your husband usually withdraws away from it as if it doesn’t concern him.

It seems like every day you end up with more and more to do. Your family and house problems don’t seem to let up – it’s all on you!

It might be a dripping tap or some other minor problem. You have to fix it all on your own.

You don’t seem to have a very positive opinion of him

38. Only you are making all the adjustments in the relationship

With your husband, it’s clear that he will never let go of his comfort zones and instead is expecting you to adjust to all his faults.

But, he never adjusts even though you make minor mistakes

It can be hard for people to tolerate anyone who disagrees with them and responds meanly. However, this doesn’t have to be the case.

It seems that you’re really mad about this. Aren’t you?

Why Are Husbands Selfish?

Men are usually seen as the ones who are selfish. They are the ones who want to have a lot of sex.

They are the ones who want to have a lot of food. Also, they are the ones who don’t do their share of housework. 

But what we don’t often hear is that women can be just as selfish.

It’s not that men are inherently selfish, it’s just that society has conditioned them to be self-serving.

Women may also be conditioned in ways that make them more prone to being selfish, but we’re not going to get into that here.

Here are possible reasons why your husband is so selfish.

1. Failed relationships in the past

A lot of people have had relationships that have ended in the past. It is not always easy to get over a failed relationship. There are many things that can end up being triggered. 

Sometimes, people feel like they are not good enough because they were rejected by their partners. Further, leading to low self-esteem.

2. Controlling nature

The husband tries to control the nature of his wife by making her believe that she is wrong.

He does this by telling her that she is too emotional while he is not.

The husband’s goal in doing this is to make his wife feel like she cannot do anything and can’t be what he wants her to be because she is not strong enough.

3. Past experiences in childhood that makes a person selfish

People who have been neglected and abandoned as children are more likely to be selfish.

Some people are selfish because they never learned to share or cooperate, while others were taught that they were entitled to a certain privilege, so they always want more.

This is the reason why people who had a difficult childhood tend to be more selfish than those who had a loving upbringing.

Is My Husband a Narcissist or Just Selfish?

There’s a big difference between selfishness and narcissism. A narcissist is someone who has an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for admiration.

They often lack empathy for others and can be very manipulative. A selfish person, on the other hand, simply puts their own needs above those of others.

So, how do you know if your husband is a narcissist or just selfish? The best way to find out is to look at the way he behaves.

Narcissism is a personality disorder that is often characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. 

Narcissistic behavior can be destructive to relationships and can negatively impact both the individual with narcissism and those around them. However, not all selfish behavior is indicative of narcissism.

There are several key features of narcissistic personality disorder that can help you determine if your husband has a problem with narcissism.

Do not label your spouse as selfish simply because they enjoy some alone time or like to go out to a party every now and then. 

How to Deal with a Selfish Husband

When you’re married, it’s important to have a partner who is willing to put your needs ahead of their own from time to time. 

But what if your spouse never seems to think about you? What if they’re always focused on themselves and their own needs?

This can be a difficult situation to deal with, but there are ways to handle a selfish husband.

1. Be honest to tell him what is bothering you

The best way to deal with a selfish husband is by being honest and telling him what is bothering you.

You should also let him know that his behavior has been hurtful and it needs to stop.

A selfish husband is not always easy to deal with. If you find yourself in this situation, it can be tempting to hold back your feelings for fear of hurting your spouse. 

However, this may only make your situation worse. Honesty is the best policy! You should let him know that his behavior hurts you and needs to stop.

They are not the only ones who are suffering so it’s important for them to understand that your needs are important too. 

If they don’t change their ways, you may want to rethink your involvement with them. The most important thing is to be open and honest with him.

Remember that it’s normal for him to react negatively at first – no one enjoys being criticized or attacked.

Allow him time to process (he may also be feeling guilty for hurting you and self-conscious) and he’ll come around.

2. Help him in changing his selfish behavior 

Helping your husband change his habits is tough. It takes time.

It’s important to remember that this process might require more than one conversation.

As you go, make sure they know these changes are being made for the better and that they’re not alone in this.

Your relationship will get stronger the more you try to make your partner happy – so don’t forget to mention it!

They may be a bit reluctant to change, so occasionally remind them why this is good for you both.

Instead of always focusing on their mistakes, try appreciating them for the effort they’re making to be better. Reward the good behavior and reassure them that you’re happy with their progress.

You ought to be complimenting him more often! Make sure he knows how grateful you are for his help all around the house.

Keep giving him positive support and you’ll be encouraged to keep going on like this.

If your spouse is self-centered, they may not notice the benefits of being generous and kind. Point these benefits out to them and they’ll be able to continue in this path.

3. Focus on yourself and stop focusing on him

You should stop focusing all your attention on the selfish husband. Spend more time making yourself feel better and less time on him.

If he’s self-obsessed, he won’t ever appreciate the amount of work you put in trying to make him happy. 

This can leave you feeling exhausted and frustrated.

Trying to make conversation with someone who doesn’t seem interested or invested in you will lead to lowering your own expectations. 

Instead, focus on doing things that you enjoy – see friends, go to the gym, and treat yourself to some nice meals.

You’ll start to remember how good you can feel in life and you’ll stop trying so hard to please an unappreciative partner. 

At some point, he might realize that you’ve started caring about yourself again, instead of him. He might miss the person he had once loved.

4. Find out the root cause of the problem

Could there be something going on with your husband that’s making him think he’s doing you a favor by being self-centered? 

It could be because he’s feeling insecure about himself, for example. Maybe his job is finished and he can’t see the good in anything anymore as a result.

You might be facing this problem for a number of different reasons.

It may have been going on for a while, in which case it could be due to other problems or childhood experiences that you hold onto. 

You’ll need to talk with your partner in order to figure out what specific stresses are the root cause.

Keep in mind that we are all susceptible to certain triggers, even if they don’t excuse unacceptable behavior. 

For example, your partner might have some issues as a result of their difficult past and things might come out sideways because of it.

Instead of ignoring a person’s feelings and concerns, we focus on understanding where they are coming from. This allows us to be open-minded and find solutions that work for both parties.

5. Improve your self-confidence

If you’re feeling low, it’s best to confide in a friend. 

Sometimes the abused wives may not want to share their feelings with someone because they are ashamed or embarrassed that they’re currently living in an abusive household. 

Wives who are abused often seem to overlook their own worth due to intimidation from their husbands.

A husband may abuse his wife in different ways such as emotionally, by taking more control of the money. 

He may also abuse her physically, sexually, or psychologically too. When someone is rude to you, it can make you feel hurt, ashamed, or angry.

An abused woman is more vulnerable if her husband is the family’s sole breadwinner. The abused women have an increased chance of lowering their self-esteem in time. 

Therefore, boost your confidence and set goals for yourself. This can help shape positivity in your life and might improve your relationship with your husband.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Indeed, a selfish husband is hard to deal with and recognize too. However, living alone or with someone who genuinely cares for you is far better than living in a toxic relationship. 

If you are facing such difficulties in your relationship, then simply look for ways to cope with them. 

Moreover, keep a healthy relationship with your partner by communicating, making him feel special, cooking his favorite meal and so many other things.

Once you do all these for your partner and if you genuinely love him, he will surely understand your importance in his life. 

However, if he doesn’t improve himself to make your relationship better, then he might not be the right choice for you.

If you really think having a good husband is a myth, then do not forget to read our article on the qualities of a good husband!