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How to Kiss Someone? Step-by-Step Guide and 20+ Tips

How to Kiss Someone? Step-by-Step Guide and 20+ Tips

Updated on Aug 28, 2023

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

How to Kiss Someone - Step-by-Step Guide and 20+ Tips

How to kiss someone is for those who want to make their first kiss a lifetime moment.  

Because let’s be honest: You can make a kiss either a hit or a flop. The middling kisses are nothing but exchanging the juices. 😉

If you’ve had one of those experiences, you can easily relate to what I am saying. In fact, the bad experience might have led you here! 

That’s a wise decision…. much better than making another plunderous kissing session. 

So, if you don’t want your first or next kiss to be a cringeworthy risk, you have me to help you out with the right kissing techniques!

How to Kiss Someone - Step-by-Step Guide and 20+ Tips
How to Kiss Someone – Step-by-Step Guide and 20+ Tips

How to Kiss Someone – Step by Step Process

A perfect kissing session comes with the right set of kissing techniques. The step-by-step guide is definitely gonna take your kissing style to pro-level.

Most importantly, you never know when your mood would strike for a kiss, so it’s best to stay prepared beforehand. 

The steps are a complete game-changer so that the next time you make your move for a kiss, you won’t stop at an ordinary lip lock. 

So, let’s dive right in. 

Step 1: Prep your pucker

Prepping your pucker is all about the precautions that you must take before you step out to kiss your partner. 

Take a shower, use a powerful body deodorant, enough to get rid of any body odor, and get ready for the date night.

If you plan to go as far as a French kiss, better keep away from garlic bread and onions at the meals. 

These foods result in bad breath and a good kisser won’t ever want that. You definitely don’t want your partner to cringe at the stink, right?

Don’t forget to glide some lip balm across your lips to keep them soft and supple… and of course, it feels good to stay prepped up before you begin the real action. Use the lip balm for a pre-kiss touch-up, if you want.

Chew some mint or fragrant gum to ensure that your breath smells fresh. Also, brush your teeth before stepping out of your home… as an extensive precaution.

Stepped out of your home? Great! But, what about your venue and time? Yup, gotta plan it…

Step 2: Think about the where and when

Though you watched several romantic movies… where the actors start kissing at a crowded metro station, that’s not how it works. 

For a good kiss, you and your partner must feel comfortable. Also, everyone doesn’t welcome a kiss on the lips at public-packed places.

Even if you must choose a public place, set a proper time when the place is not crowded. 

Also, ditch any plan of involving your tongue if you know that your partner is not in a good mood. 

They might think you’re inconsiderate if you get down to action instead of solving their issues first, so focus.

However, if there’s no obstacle to your plans, let’s move on to…

Step 3: Set the Mood

Set the correct mood before you actually roll into kissing your partner… you’ll change the game altogether!

So, sit close to your partner (I mean, super close!), stare intensely at their lips… drop a hint of what you are about to do.

Go all the way out and shower the most intimate and genuine compliments that they’ve always yearned for.

Sweetheart, make sure the compliment is just about love and romance… and nothing else!

Keep your tone seductive and let your eyes get lost in theirs. If you’re complimenting a particular body part, don’t hesitate to stare at the body part. But also, don’t sexually objectify them.

Stare at a gender-neutral body part, it’ll allure them.

To make your kiss even more passionate, say something like…

“You’ve beautiful eyes…”

“Your lips drive me crazy.”

“I’m feeling so fortunate…”

Think you can start kissing on the lips right away? Nay, patience buddy!

Good kisses come with good manners. And we can’t miss this chivalrous manner…

Did you ensure that your partner is ready for the kiss on the lips? If not, now is the right time.

Your preparations and precautions might go to waste if your partner is not ready for the kiss!

If you notice them looking at your eyes with equal intensity, or making excuses to touch you… These might be signs that your partner is ready for the next move. 

If they confirm verbally, what’s better than that?

Do you know there are many types of kisses out there? Bet you did all that research for the big move!

If choosing the type of kiss for your special person troubles you… I can feel you, honey. Let’s get some ideas…

Step 5: Consider the type of kiss

Who said you must always aim for a kiss on the lips? There’s no hard-core rule, make your kisses unique.

Plant a quick peck on their shoulder while you are behind them to leave them stunned and shivering.

Feathering a few kisses gently on their hands will send a shiver up their spine. That’s how you tease and leave them wanting more.

Instead of coming off too strong from the beginning, move the tempo from gentle to intense.

They might get the wrong signals about you if you’re too aggressive or rough from the very beginning.

Never force your tongue in your partner’s mouth or drench them all over in your saliva. And for God’s sake don’t bite at first! 

You may run your hands over their bodies to make physical contact with your partner.  However, don’t grab or grope them inappropriately during the first kiss. 

For French kissing, gently touch your partner’s tongue with your own. If they lead you on, you can take it ahead from there.

Once you know the basic types of kisses, and how to progress, it’s time to learn the actual action…

Step 6: Now is the time to ASK!

If you merely depend on nonverbal consent, it might not always do you good.

To kiss someone without verbal affirmations, you really must be a master at reading your partner’s mind.

However, if you feel totally stuck and confused, ASK!

Simply integrate one of these questions to your compliments. For example:

 “You’ve beautiful eyes… and lips… may I kiss you”?

“Your lips drive me crazy… Should I just kiss them”?

“I’m feeling so fortunate… a kiss is going to make this even better, may I”?

If you get a green signal, you can start with your own style. Tune your body language, take a step closer. And then…

Step 7: Lean in

Hold on buddy, I am not asking you to rush into it. Save some patience and learn how to lean in. Trust me, since this is your first time… this particular step will set you on fire.

You may find your heart racing and shivering… and it’s normal.

Lean your head towards them, caress their face, brush their hair with your fingers smoothly, or lock your fingers into their fingers.

Draw their waist closer to you… your hips will naturally come closer. Again, don’t grope them at inapt places.

Hold your partner’s face and draw it towards yourself, wrap your arms around them for a heated embrace and in the process, don’t lose eye contact.

Doesn’t matter if your partner feels shy or their eyes find the ground more interesting… don’t lose confidence and keep looking in their eyes.  

All set?

It’s time to…

Step 8: Start slow

Brush your hand across their face and try to close their eyes… make it a little more romantic with the feather-like contact.

Or, place your palm horizontally on their forehead, and gently glide it down the face, closing the eyes. This will also ease the awkwardness.

Lift up their chin, if they’re facing downwards. Gently place your kiss on the rosy lips… ensure the pressure is very light.

Remember, less is more… 5 to 10 seconds, that’s it. Then take a break and read your partner’s reaction.

Do you want to intensify it? Then slightly increase the pressure… this time.

Navigate from the upper lip to the bottom lip of your kissing partner. Though closed-mouthed kisses are good enough, you can definitely take it to an open-mouth kiss.

But wait, all these steps might tense you, so remember to…

Step 9: Keep your mouth relaxed

It’s never a good idea to force your kiss in your partner’s mouth. And don’t let this be a one-man show.

Pay attention to your partner’s actions.  Notice if they are enjoying the session. Don’t break the continuity if they already picked up the pace, it doesn’t feel good.

Match their lip movement. Maybe, they want you to do the same. Or, they might desire something other than what you’re doing.

Don’t be selfish about what you want, make your partner feel good as well.

But a kiss isn’t only about your lips, you’ll feel awkward if you try that. So, let’s try to…

Step 10: Use your hands

You can use your hands to “add” to your kiss in numerous ways.

For instance, cup their face, caress their hair or back, or slip in your hands on their lower back (lightly).

Don’t overdo this action. Your hands’ actions will ensure that both of you are close and engaged.

Continue without hesitation… because one of the hottest kissing positions is when a guy wraps his arms around a girl’s waist… while the girl wraps her hands around his neck or shoulders.

Don’t worry about the height difference, it doesn’t matter.

Just enjoy your moment for a while…

…and pull away…

Be more responsible and attentive while pulling away than at the time of kissing.

Ensure that you’re done kissing your partner, don’t just step back abruptly. Do it slowly if you don’t want to annoy your partner.

The pulling-away steps are just the reverse of how you began.  Stop playing with your hands, instead grope your partner’s shoulders.

Slow down your lips and gently stop. Maintain eye contact and pull your lips away smoothly.

Grab hold of their face, take a moment to kiss their forehead to show affection. It will add to your kiss a lot more than you can imagine…

Leave their face and hug them tightly… you’ll reassure them of your genuine intentions this way.

Now, unwrap and gradually shift your lower body backward. Allow them time to step back if they want to. Smile at your partner… and see how it makes them blush.

Hopefully, you enjoyed some real sensual kisses and hot sessions between you and your partner’s lips. Nice!

However, many people don’t know how to plant open-mouth kisses and miss out on the intimate fun. So, let’s move on from closed-mouthed kisses with…

How to move from a closed-mouth kiss to an open-mouth kiss?

Are you done feeling your partner’s lips with closed-mouthed kisses? Want to sauce it up with some open-mouth sessions?

Don’t worry, I got your back… like always.

Keep reading!

1. Sip onto them like a juicy fruit or beverage

Open your mouth and take sips of the upper and lower lips of your partner as if you’re taking sips of a beverage. Now you know, it’s a delicious drink… 😉

Savor their lips like you relish your favorite drink. A sip at a time, not a huge chug! If you begin with a big aaahh~ it might turn them off.

After you’re done with these short sucks or sips, it’s time to use the tongue.

2. Tickle with the tongue

Touch the tip of your tongue to your partner’s tongue.

Begin with the tip of your tongue. Hey, don’t lick your partner’s mouth!

They’ll hate you for doing this. A big turn-off!

Instead, use your tongue to probe your partner’s lips open and touch the tip of your partner’s tongue.

3. Don’t push anything

Move your tongue but don’t force it into their mouth.

It may not work as you imagine… instead of tasting your tongue, he or she may end up biting you accidentally.

When they have no clue of your tongue’s actions, they’ll bite you from the shock. In fact, that’s a normal reflex so don’t mind it even if it happens.

4. Match the rhythm!

Don’t forget to breathe and remind them to gasp for air too.

Remember, you and your partner must feel comfortable.

You must feel the warmth, not choked, so breathe. Tune your tongue and lips in accordance with theirs to match the rhythm.

Also, if they like it slow, don’t rush. But if they like it wild, give them what they want.

5. It’s time, buddy!

All set… keep up with the open-mouth kiss as long as you and your partner want it to roll.

Let the fruity exchange run your nerves faster. Explore your partner’s mouth with your tongue, let them explore yours.

Once you’re both equally into it… Ummm… you won’t have time to think about anything. You’ll feel dizzy… but don’t fret that’s normal.

Deepen your kiss, go all out with your tongue but be mindful, you must not choke them.

When things get so frisky, you might feel like giving in to your urges and moving with the flow. So, let’s learn…

How to move from a kiss to a full-on make-out sesh?

You only need a long lip lock and some hand movements to heat up the session. Now, if both of you yearn for some more, I’ve got some help!

1. Make it obvious with the cues

This time your kissing must be a rather juicy, sultry, and a hot steamy session, dude!

Wrap your arms around their lower back, and step closer until both of your lower bodies are almost touching.

Now, let them know about your intentions either verbally or via your body language.

You can know your partner’s intentions by paying close attention to their body language.

Your makeout sesh mustn’t be abrupt or forced… on either side.

If you notice that your partner is fully comfortable and enjoying the intimacy, go ahead!

2. Let it intensify

Now take the plunge and intensify the kiss by fiddling with your tongue in your partner’s mouth. Make your kisses wet and move ahead passionately.

Make use of your skills with a little tongue play and taking sips (shortest sucks) of your partner’s upper and lower lips.

You gotta suck it up nicely, but be careful honey, you can’t hurt them.

However, if they ask you to do it harder, don’t hold back. Ask them in between if they like it… that’ll add a little tease and burn them in heightened desire.

3. Don’t stop playing with your hands

Remember, you are making it a bang on pucker play!

In the process, don’t forget to lock your fingers with your partner’s fingers. That just expresses how badly you want to make out!

Play around with your hands, slightly graze your nails and fingertips over their skin, take it to their lower back, waist, neck, shoulders, hair, and so on.

Stroke your fingers on the sexy body parts, but do not be inappropriate in your approach. For instance, touch them around the risqué areas but not there directly.

If they want more, you’ll find the cues in the groove.  

4. Switch locations

Neither you, nor your partner wants to return with swollen and wounded lips. So, give the lips some break and shift your locations.

Since both of you are already hot and bothered, don’t be afraid of switching your site of nibbles. Simply shift from one location to another.

For example, line a series of kisses from the jawline to the neck and then the collar bone of your partner.

Suck their earlobes. And yes, a kiss on the forehead from time to time is as important.

5. Bite, but be gentle!

Now that there is already an adrenaline rush in your body, bite the lips of your partner if you want, but be very gentle when you do so.

Your partner might not feel comfortable with your sharp teeth during the kiss. So, when it is your first time, keep it very gentle, just a light tug on the lips with your teeth.

If you want to go ahead with anything more intense, you better take a verbal affirmation again!

Pulling away again has to be a very responsible one. You can simply reverse the process of a full-on make-out sesh.

Stop the biting, switch your locations from lip kisses to shoulder, jawline, cheek, neck, and forehead kisses.

Keep eye contact, unlock the fingers, leave the hand movements, and grope their shoulders. Loosen up yourself and gently step back.

After this, simply smile and raise your eyebrows in a very natural and subtle manner…


Whatever it is, don’t forget to seek feedback! 😉

No one is a born kissing master, right? So, always seek the feedback of your partner and share your own.

Don’t worry, you guys won’t rate your experiences, only ensure that you both equally enjoyed the passionate kiss.

This will help you add more spark the next time and help understand your partner better.

How to exchange the feedback?

Either comment verbally or silently with gestures. So, if you really enjoyed the kiss, show you’re happy and flash that sweet smile, or hug them tight.

Or, express yourself verbally by saying “Woah, that was amazing!” or “Can we do this more often?”

However, if you felt that something was lacking, never say it in person at the spot where you both kissed.

You might ruin your memories and leave a bad after-taste. Share negative feedback when both of you are home and you are discussing it on a call or text. But be optimistic about it.

Ensure they reciprocate the same, and communicate their honest feedback.

Don’t take this feedback thing personally or in a wrong way… it’ll only make the kissers more compatible with each other.

Even if you receive some criticism, take it optimistically, it doesn’t hurt to practice more and improve yourself… and guess what? More chances to kiss them for practice, win-win situation, right?

Improving your kissing style is so much more fun than all other types of improvements in the world!

When the world is seeking all sorts of experts for a better life, you can definitely try and be a kissing expert for your partner. 😂

In the end, here are some…

20 Tips to Master the Kiss

All these steps with the do’s and don’ts may have confused you. Don’t worry, I’ll help you brush up with the basics and also help you up your kissing game from 0 to 100.

So without further ado, let’s hop on…

1. Never kiss if you don’t desire

If you don’t want to kiss someone, just don’t initiate the kiss. 

No matter how long you tolerate the dry spell, and how madly you want to get intimate, just stay away from making this mistake. 

You don’t owe a kiss to anyone. If you ever try to force yourself and kiss just because you want to “try” it, you’ll only end up as a bad kisser.

2. Environment is crucial

Imagine kissing someone at the funeral of their mother… creepy, right? Damn yes.

Place and time are essential elements when it comes to kissing. Public places are out of the question!

So, plan it beforehand and choose a romantic place… and if not, then make sure that you kiss at the right moment when you feel a spark igniting between you and your partner.

The kiss will feel way more pleasurable this way.

3. Exfoliate and moisturize your lips regularly

Make sure your lips are soft before hopping into a kissing session, as rough lips are a total mood killer.

Peeling or cuts on your lips can ruin the experience for everyone involved in the kiss. They don’t want to chew on your skin flakes or taste blood.

Get your hands on a good exfoliant and a lip balm. If you don’t have a readymade exfoliator, the sugar-emollient mixture works great!

Exfoliate and moisturize your lips regularly to keep them fluffy, hydrated, and perfect for a smooch.

 If this problem persists for long, consult a physician. Also, soft lips convey that you take care of your skin and maintain yourself properly.

4. Keep your breath odor-free

What if it’s your first kiss and you can smell the bad breath of your partner, will you like it?

Of Course not. The same goes with you, sweetheart.

Take care of your own hygiene before your smooching session… if you wish to leave a lasting impression, especially a good one.

Brush your teeth beforehand and keep your mouth free from leftover food. Keep a mouth freshener with you all the time, whether it’s a date where you can get a lil kinky, or not.

5. Be confident about your decision

You’ll ruin the entire experience for both if you’re under-confident.

Don’t lean in if you aren’t ready yet. When you do, you must be confident about your decision. Don’t look confused and lost. Come on, it’s a kissing session!

Your physical appearance and lack of confidence cannot allure a person.

What are you scared of?

You know the tricks, the steps, just a little confidence is all that you need to pull off the show!

6. Look sexy

Don’t stop at preparing your lips alone. Your soft lips won’t attract your partner if you look unkempt. 

Take a hot shower. Moisturize your body so that your partner feels good gliding their hands on your smooth skin.

Wear a sexy outfit and make an effort to look attractive. But, don’t overdo anything. It’ll ruin the overall look. 

Accessorize yourself smartly with dainty jewelry to accentuate your physical features, that’s enough.

If you are a girl, figure out the height differences before putting on high heels. Avoid any uncomfortable heavy decoration which might obstruct your kisses. 

That’s it! Your partner will drool over you.

When you look sexy, you feel sexy… and you win your kiss effortlessly!

7. Make a mutual move

Seek consent before making any intimate moves with your partner.

What if you both are not on the same page, yet?

If you directly kiss them, without knowing their desires, things might take the wrong turn.

You’ll seem more lustful and selfish, so ask “Are you ready for this?”

Act according to their response. You’ll make your partner feel more comfortable around you and they might appreciate you for respecting their boundaries.

8. Eyes on each other!

Don’t look here and there while you kiss. Either make eye contact for a bold and brave scene or keep your eyes closed for added comfort.

When you close your eyes, all your senses will concentrate on your partner’s lips. 

You’ll be able to give your best shot at this. Also, when you kiss someone with closed eyes, the other person will think that you’re more into them and they have all your attention. 

Or if you want to keep your eyes locked with your partner will intensify the moment further… It’ll arouse you both.

An intense eye contact can stir the heat in your make-out sessions. Who knows if this will be your first climax experience with them?

9. Keep it simple at first

Don’t immediately jump into an intense making-out session, if it’s your first kiss with someone.

Gently plant kisses, and make your moves slowly. This will make your partner feel comfortable. No one will stop you from being adventurous, but just don’t go over the board.

What if the other person isn’t ready for it? So, you must keep it natural, rather than getting more tangled.

Don’t try to adapt kissing techniques shown in movies.

Trust your gut and you’ll eventually know when to get fierce.

10. Take it slow. Like really, SLOOOOW! 

Don’t rush while you’re kissing someone. Even if you feel like hitting the big moment directly, take it slow. Or, this will be a total mood spoiler for your partner.

Take your time to kiss someone and be in the moment. This will make the kissing experience more pleasurable for both of you.

Start slowly and gently to get into a heated and passionate making-out session. Gradually when you pick up the pace, reach the big moment.

So, relax and stay calm… you’ll certainly have the best kiss ever.

11. Control your tongue

Don’t use your tongue way too much while kissing or it can be a major disaster. Keep your tongue out of it, until it gets very intense. 

Begin with slow and sensual strokes with your tongue. Slowly rub your tongue to the tip of your partner’s tongue and then pull back a little. 

Then again move your tongue in their mouth and wrap it around your partner’s tongue and pull back a little.

Remember to pull back as you’ll get time to breathe and make less mess with your saliva flow. It will maintain your consistency in the kiss if it’s a long one.

While you’re at it, don’t forget about good hygiene.

12. Feel the moment

When you kiss someone, make sure you’re there in the moment, enjoying every bit of the simulations.

Feel all the touches, the care, the teasing, and you’ll get a sensation of excitement. If you’re distracted, you may miss the best experience of your life.

Don’t be lost in someone else’s thoughts while you kiss someone, as this will surely cripple your partner’s mood. Be with them and strive hard to please them.

13. Run your hands

Kissing is not only about lips; it also involves other bodily flirtations. 

Try using your hands, for instance, stroke their cheeks, gently rub their neck and lower spine, or maybe a grab on the arms will make this kissing session more intimate and exciting.

Also, brush your hands through their hair. Simply keep your hands at places that neither make you nor your partner feel uneasy and also maintain the rhythm of the kissing session.

14. Avoid hickeys, and keep it gentle

Most people might not be very comfortable with bites or hickeys, between kisses, but for others, it can be a major turn-on, depending on the likes of you and your partner.

So, to play it safe, go with a slight lick and then just tug a bit on the neck. Do more of it, once you’re sure that your partner does not object to it.

But, if you do anything without your partner’s consent, then they might criticize you afterward.

Don’t get offended as it depends on every individual, and it has nothing to do with your ability to kiss.

15. How about a tease?

Being a tease between kisses can make it more fun.

Give that tempting look to your partner, rub your nose against theirs, or stroke your fingers in their mouth and then lick them, this will all make your partner go wild.

It’ll be more worthwhile, and your make-out session has to be a full-on kill!

16. Kiss at different places

Don’t limit your kissing to the lips. Shower kisses at various spots which might turn on your partner, like on the forehead, their sexy neckline, behind the ear, shoulder, and jawline.

This will make your kissing session more intimate and heated. So, make your partner wild and kiss every inch of their body.

17. Gentle tug doesn’t harm

Though lips are the main parts involved in kissing, it’s never bad to bring in some teeth into it. But make sure you limit this tooth thing to slight tugging and not nibbling.

Slightly pull your partner’s bottom lip a little, with your teeth, immediately leave it and get back to attend to their lips entirely.

Nibbling very slightly is also okay, just don’t overdo it. And try to maintain more lip-to-lip contact.

18. A little pressure goes a long way

Don’t get way too aggressive while you’re kissing your partner. Keep yourself in control, and avoid putting much pressure to look passionate. A little pressure goes a long way.

If you forcefully kiss or become extra feisty, they might interpret it in the wrong way.

At the same time, don’t be so tender, that your kisses feel apathetic. Match the rhythm and then you can go on and kill it!

19. Ask about your partner’s needs

Ask your partner to guide you with what they want. Trust me, there is nothing bad in it. It should not hurt your ego or self-esteem.

It’s about being responsible and careful towards each other’s requirements.

Ask them questions like…

“Are you enjoying it…”?

“Want something else, honey…”?

“Teach me your way, sweety…”

Everyone has a unique kissing style.

Your kissing partner might try to show you what they want with their actions. Observe their kissing style. 

Understand their message and respond accordingly. If you see a rise in their enthusiasm, you know you’re going right!

20. Show affection in other ways

Kissing is amazing, but there are so many other ways to show affection.

Hold your bae’s hand and kiss it. Say something unexpected and sweet in your crush’s ear.

Kiss their forehead. Smile at them. Hug them. Get them a little surprise gift for no reason at all.

Kissing helps to build romance, but there are so many things that keep that fire alive.

Bonus: Don’t kiss if you’re not ready!

Don’t waste an attempt, if you are not ready for it yet. Kissing is not a business. It is only when both you and your partner are comfortable with the decision that you must make this move.

Getting intimate is a very personal choice, and you can always refrain from doing so if you are not prepared from within.

If you’re not ready for a kiss yet do try it, the experience will be disastrous.  You will regret your decision. So don’t fool yourself, just because someone forced you.

Finally, make sure you smell good.

Good that you have taken care of your bad breath. But don’t ruin a kiss with your body odor either.

A shower, a fragrant moisturizer, and an enchanting perfume…That’s all you require to keep the body odor at bay.

Carry a pocket perfume and spray one or two pumps before meeting a special one!

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

After all the steps, tricks, and tips that I have laid down it’s very important to remember this: never judge yourself. This will only harm your confidence.

Don’t be harsh with yourself just because you had a couple of failed kissing experiences.

You don’t owe a perfect passionate kiss to the world. It’s a process of showing affection and you learn with time and practice.

Also, if your partner is really into you, they’ll love the fact that you’re a novice. You might get lucky with a one-to-one teaching session too. 😉

A couple of tries and you’ll rock it, baby!