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How to be a Better Wife – 40 Absolute Ways

How to be a Better Wife – 40 Absolute Ways

Updated on Sep 24, 2022 | Published on Sep 13, 2022

Reviewed by Katina Tarver, MA (Mental Health and Wellness Counseling) , Life & Relationship Coach

How to be a Better Wife – 40 Absolute Ways

If you’re reading this article, you definitely want to know how to be a better wife for your husband, right? For every woman, there comes a time in her life when her marriage seems dull or her husband seems to be distant. In these situations, she tries every trick in the book to save her marriage.

So, if you wish to know what makes a good wife or how to be a perfect wife, I have just the recipe for you. Just dive in to know the different ingredients of this dish…

How to be a better wife? – 40 ways

Before I tell you the tips and tricks of how to be a better wife, you must ask yourself, “Why do I need to be a better wife?”. The answer is simple, it’s because your husband deserves it!

Your husband has supported you in all the tough times and stood by you no matter what, it’s now your turn to do the same for him. However, sometimes it can get tough and you might get lost trying to make so many efforts.

This is why I have listed down the best ways to be the best wife ever. So, come on, let’s dive deeper!

1. Be your husband’s biggest supporter

Ladies, your husband needs encouragement and motivation just as much as any other person. Therefore, the biggest thing that you can do for him is to cheer him on.

If he’s anxious about an upcoming project at work or has to give a big presentation soon, let him know that you have full faith in him.

Even simple phrases like, “Honey, I know you’ve got this!” or “You’ve worked so hard for the last few weeks and you’ll be the star of the show!” can really go a long way. Sometimes, even stepping back and letting your man handle things on his own is also a quiet form of encouragement!

2. A bit of space and freedom, please!

In any healthy marriage, both spouses need their fair share of space. Make your husband feel loved and respected by giving him the space he needs so that he can grow and learn.

Are you sure you’re giving him his space, and I mean literally? For example, if he wants to go out with the guys once a week, let him. But that’s not it, space can also mean mental space.

A happy marriage is where both of you understand that it’s important to let each other be alone at times. Both spouses need to pursue their own interests at their own pace.

3. Remember, you’re his wife, not his mom

Do you ever feel that you’re being a bit too motherly toward your husband? If the answer is yes, then it’s a habit that you must get rid of right away. Because if you treat him like your child, it implies that you feel he isn’t capable of handling problems on his own.

Don’t forget, he is a grown man who can handle things just fine! Even though you might consider some tasks as simply helping him out, he can get pretty annoyed after a while. If this happens, simply take a breath and step back.

4. Challenge him (but positively!)

A successful marriage isn’t just being lovey-dovey all the time. It requires hard work, compromise, and quite a lot of patience. But the harder parts of a marriage are also the most important ones.

This is why you should challenge your husband and make him chase his dreams. This will not only help him realize his potential but will also make your marriage last for many years.

By this, I mean that when times get tough, ask your spouse to not give up and keep pushing forward. Sometimes, a good wife shows her husband that their marriage is worth fighting for.

5. Be selfless

One of the best tips that I can give you is to be as selfless as possible. No, I don’t mean you have to stay silent and let your husband do whatever he wants.

Instead, it’s better to take the high road and put his needs above yours. Any individual can sometimes become too self-absorbed and brush off their partner’s wishes.

If you’re doing the same thing, you must now self-reflect and think of things that will serve both of you in the long run, not just you.

6. Use positive criticism

There’s a general consensus among people that married women love to nag. Well, this is your chance to prove them wrong! You might have “suggested” or “hinted” at things to your husband which was actually nagging him about something.

Now that you’ve realized this error, it’s time to rectify it. Avoiding habitual nagging is a great way to become a better wife.

Of course, nobody knows your man better than you do, but try not to criticize him or focus on his little faults. Use words of encouragement to make him understand his mistakes instead.

7. Praise him more often

A little bit of praise goes a long way, isn’t it? So, the next time you see your man working very hard on something, gently peck him on the cheeks and tell him how proud you are of him.

One of the most important qualities that a good wife has is kindness and generosity, especially when it comes to praising her husband.

For example, you can even do a fun activity where you make a list of the top 10 reasons why you think your husband is the best. Give him this list and watch his face light up in a beaming smile!

8. Your priority? Marriage!

When you both got married, you made so many vows to each other. To stand by each other in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, and many others. Now that the special wedding day is over, you can’t afford to forget about the promises you made to him!

When both partners realize that it’s important to commit to each other, that’s when a marriage truly blooms. This is why you must play your part as a good wife and love your husband forever. Make it your priority and tell yourself that everything else can wait.

9. Talk to him, girl (because he isn’t a mind reader!)

Ladies, your husband isn’t a wizard who can read minds in a second. In any healthy relationship, you need to tell your partner how you truly feel without fearing the other person’s reaction.

This is why you must be open with your husband and tell him your wants and needs. Showing passive aggressiveness and sulking won’t do; you’re not a kid anymore.

He needs you to tell him what’s going on in your mind so that he can take steps to make you happy. And trust me, this tip applies to all walks of life, whether in the bedroom or anywhere else!

10. Be your own person

Another major suggestion I’m going to give you is to understand your own needs first. Unless you’re a whole person on your own, you won’t be able to become a better wife.

While your husband is certainly there to meet your needs and be your pillar of strength, it’s always wiser to know yourself first.

This is because your spouse won’t always be able to help you out, and that’s when you need to prioritize yourself. Being able to control your emotions and make your decisions is very important.

11. Tell him how great he is in bed

If you haven’t told him this yet, this is your cue to do it. Let me tell you, men love it when their woman compliments them, especially when it comes to things in the bedroom. Make a conscious effort to let him know how he makes your world (and bed) rock with his sexy moves!

To spice things up a bit more, gift him something sexy to show your appreciation, such as a naughty date night game or decorate the bedroom with scented oils and candles. Trust me, your man will put in extra effort to please you the next time.

12. Support his buddies

We, women, often tend to forget to support our husband’s buddies. This is why many men give up their male friends after marriage, and that’s honestly a shame.

If your husband wants to do some fun activities, like bowling or indulge in a game night with his school or college friends (or even colleagues), let him do that. Even though you’re his partner for life, males understand each other in a way no woman can!

After all, you too, love to spend time with your girlfriends, right?

13. Stop scrolling

When you go out together, does your love language consist of staring at your phone or clicking pictures constantly? Let me tell you, girl, this will put you on the list of “not a good wife”!

When you’re going on a date with your husband, make sure to put the phone away. Sure, click a few pictures and update your relationship status, but don’t keep your face glued to the phone screen.

It’s pretty disrespectful to keep checking your notifications when your partner is trying his best to have a conversation. So, put your phone on vibrate and keep it inside your purse.

14. Take part in his interests

Being an active participant in his hobbies or interests is one of the best things you can do to become a better wife. Don’t keep clinging on to him like a baby, but make sure he knows that you’re interested.

Even if you have to do something as weird as watching cartoons, do it just to make him happy. This will not only help you to spend time together but will also show your husband how much you love him. And who knows, your man might just do the same for you and be interested in your hobbies!

15. Be his romantic alarm clock!

This trick is especially for wives who stay at home. Wake up before he does and make him a pot of fresh coffee.

Kiss him lightly on his lips and wake him up gently. You’ll instantly notice how his mood will improve. And when he’s this happy early in the morning, you know your day is going to go well.

Even the most enlightened men become crabby when they see their wives sleeping in till late while they have to leave early for work. But if he sees that you’re truly making an effort to make his day go well, he’ll be over the moon!

16. Choose fighting over running away

During a “fight or flight” situation, choose fight. It might sound a little weird, but let me explain why staying and fighting is healthier. Arguments are often good ice-breakers to keep the conversation going and make you both better people.

No matter how much you’re in love with each other, there will be times when you won’t see eye to eye. Here, my marriage advice to you is to stay and fight, even if you don’t wish to, because the alternative is even worse.

The moment you run away from any confrontation, that’s when you know you’re not being a good enough wife. However, be sure to maintain respect even while arguing.

17. Encourage him to have a healthy lifestyle

Being a better wife starts with encouraging your husband to be healthy. Don’t force a pair of dumbbells in his hands and ask him to do squats while holding them. Working out should be a fun activity for both of you!

If you cook more than him, make sure the meals are healthy and contain all the basic nutritional requirements. Take up walking or gyming together because being gym buddies, in addition to being husband and wife is super cool!

When it comes to consuming alcohol or cigarettes, set a limit to how much each of you will consume each week. This way, you’ll have long and healthy lives and so many more years to spend in each other’s arms.

18. Respect his secrets

Your hubby should be your best friend and if he considers you as his confidante and tells you his deepest secrets, you must never reveal them to others.

Yes, women tend to gossip and spill the beans about other people (especially men) to each other but you must not let out anything that your husband has told you in confidence.

No matter how tempting or relevant the conversation is or how much your girlfriends ask you to let the cat out of the bag, keep the secret between you both only. Remember, he’s told you things about himself that he didn’t share with anyone else, so that proves how much he trusts you!

19. Initiate sex

Trust me, girl, this tip will change your life. If you usually don’t initiate sex, this is your sign to do it tonight. Not only will your husband be surprised but he will also realize that you can be a fiery beast in bed!

Even though men are the more common initiators, they love it when their women take control in the bedroom and lead them. Surprise him by buying a sheer negligee and preparing a grand dinner.

Then lead him by the hand into your bedroom and show him how naughty you can be. For some extra naughtiness, you can even blindfold him!

20. Never brush off your instincts

When you have been married for many years, it becomes much easier to speak to each other comfortably and say your thoughts out loud.

However, sometimes, these thoughts can become harsh. Even if you feel you’re saying things to your husband because he is your closest one and you want only the best for him, it’s nice to do a quick gut check first.

Maybe what you said to him was actually a little harsh or hurtful? Comfortable conversations are nice but they shouldn’t lead to speaking bluntly or saying things that can offend the other person.

21. Have a good (enough) relationship with the in-laws!

Yes, even if this sounds like a bitter pill, it’s the truth- having a healthy relationship with his parents can really do wonders. Though you might not always like each other, try doing nice things for them, such as taking them out for lunch or gifting them cute sweaters for Christmas.

Since he’s one of the most important people to you, you have to place importance on his parents too because they’re the ones who gave him birth in the first place!

If you don’t share a cordial relationship with your parents-in-law, at least try to make amends. This will show your husband that he means so much to you!

22. Make time for him

This is a pretty obvious tip but so many women don’t actually give their husbands the time they deserve. Work gets more hectic and life gets busier, I understand, but your spouse is your soulmate for life.

Give him a full day or night of your time, no questions asked. Take him out to a fancy dinner or simply hold his hand and watch a movie at home. Every individual needs affection and affirmation.

So, the next time you find yourself reaching for the phone to check your social media messages, drop that and text your man instead!

23. Keep the phones aside

Another secret on how to be a good wife is to remove technology between you and your spouse at specific times of the day.

No, don’t just throw away your laptops or tablets in the garbage, but set aside a few hours where the constant ringing of messages and notifications won’t bother the precious time you spend with him.

Spending some quality time, say when you’re having dinner together or cuddling in bed before sleeping, can be very beneficial for your relationship. You can also talk about how your day went, what your plans are for tomorrow, or anything that comes to your mind!

24. His best friend? You!

Do you know why being a wife is such a tough job? Because an ideal wife isn’t just a spouse- she’s also the guy’s best friend and biggest secret keeper!

The moment you both transition from just another married couple to a couple that enjoys life together and stays with each other through all the highs and lows, you know you’ll be the best wife.

You should be an unbreakable team where both the team players support each other, do silly things together, and are unapologetically in love. Just look at some of the most iconic couples in movies and TV shows- aren’t they each other’s besties?

25. Overlook those pet peeves

Remember, those silly little flaws in your husband that you found really cute in the beginning? Yeah, I know, they seem unbearably annoying right now.

Habits like not taking a bath regularly or throwing his clothes here and there are enough to make the “wife” in you go crazy. But as long as his flaws aren’t anything major, maybe you can try to overlook them.

Despite your significant other’s so-called bad habits, you know that you love him and would do anything to have him by your side forever. So, every once in a while, it’s fine to ignore those pet peeves and appreciate him for his other qualities!

26. Gift him small yet meaningful things

So, you must have saved up a lot of money to gift your beau a brand-new watch for his birthday or spent a fortune buying him a luxury suit for your anniversary.

But do you know what makes an ideal wife stand apart from other wives? The latter buys expensive gifts for special occasions while the former buys her husband tiny, meaningful things even when there’s no celebration nearby!

You don’t always have to show your love by spending an arm and a leg and going broke, you know? Small things like buying movie tickets will be more than enough to make you his go-to!

27. Revamp your wardrobe

There’s nothing better than changing into comfy PJs at the end of the day. But imagine the happiness that will light up on your husband’s face when he sees you in cute shorts and a tank top.

Sweatpants and loose t-shirts might be super cozy but try to find something that’s comfy and sexy. And wearing sheer lingerie now and again doesn’t hurt, right? Who knows, your hubby might just want to push you straight into the bedroom and spend some romantic moments with you!

Additionally, some tweaks in your wardrobe will help you to experiment with different styles.

28. Be his career guide

Even if you’re pretty blank about the kind of work he does or the work decisions he has to make, just listen to him. And if you both work in the same sector, then that’s even better!

If your husband is stuck with a work or career problem, ask him how you can help. If he’s considering quitting his job and finding another one, show him that you believe in his potential to bag a great job offer.

Taking part in each other’s career decisions is extremely important to bond as a married couple.

29. Use the magic word: Sorry!

So, you and your hubby have been fighting for a few days now and you know you’re wrong. But something is holding you back from apologizing to him and owning up to your mistakes (hint: your ego maybe?).

In this case, just let go of your inhibitions and walk up to him. Admit that yes, you’ve made a mistake and now you recognize it. We, humans, hate apologizing and instead, figure out other ways to prove ourselves innocent.

But this just makes a relationship unhealthy by reducing communication. Learning to apologize is a great virtue that you must use.

30. Be faithful

After being with each other for many years, it’s only natural for you to feel that your relationship has become boring or mundane.

You might even be attracted to that guy co-worker or have a tiny crush on your neighbor. But while having a crush is normal, acting on it isn’t.

A good wife is a faithful one who knows that her husband is the only one in her life. Being faithful and honest with your partner is perhaps the most important aspect of your marriage. It requires self-control but is totally worth it!

31. Respect him in public

No matter how intense the fight is when you’re at home, once you’re out with your husband in public, it’s your job to show him respect.

You don’t need to obey his every word but make sure passers-by don’t see things turning ugly between you. It not only creates a bad impression but also makes your social circle look down on you both.

Even if you wish to discuss something that would contradict his beliefs, it’s best to talk about it like a grownup. Wives who treat their husbands in public with dignity and respect are definitely a class apart.

32. Forgive him

We all get our feelings hurt at some point. But instead of making a huge deal out of it or making things worse, isn’t it best to forgive your husband when he apologizes? Fights are inevitable in any marriage but how your husband handles it is the real question.

Holding on to bitterness won’t do you any good, so instead, hear him out and let go of what’s happened. Tell him that he’s hurt you and you felt terrible but you’re also ready to start afresh.

33. Tell him about your plans

By ambitions, I don’t only mean the career goals that you’ve chalked out (although telling him about them is also a great idea). Start with your day-to-day activities. Tell him what you plan to make for dinner or when you want to go out with your colleagues.

Sharing these little tid-bits with him will tell him that he’s an important part of your life and that you trust him.

Remember, girls, feeling loved and respected is every man’s dream (even if he might not be vocal about those). And when it comes to big dreams like your dream career or house, it’s important to let him be a part of them.

34. Know when to be quiet

One thing nobody likes to hear is, “I told you that you shouldn’t have done this!”. If your partner has made a mistake that you had previously warned him about, it’s probably a good idea to not scold him for not listening to you.

If you really wish to be a better wife, you have to know when to keep quiet and not say things that will anger him further. Be wise and discerning and know when to simply pat his arm and say, “Hey, it’s okay, at least you tried your own way!”.

35. Trust his parenting abilities

For couples who have kids, every parent will have their own method of bringing up their child. As long as your spouse is a loving father and spends time with the little ones, you should let him monitor the children the way he wants to. The way you and your husband manage children will be different.

Don’t micromanage him and definitely don’t bash him in front of the kids. If you constantly keep scolding him on how he’s doing it “all wrong”, he’ll get annoyed and then give up parenting altogether.

36. Never insult him in front of his friends or family

As women, we all know when our spouses mess up. So, it’s not that hard to gather an entire gang to snap at your husband. But doing this will only make you less and less desirable in his eyes.

Pretty soon, a small misunderstanding will escalate into a huge fight and the fire of anger will keep burning. So never gossip or spread hatred about your husband to his friends or family members.

Sure, take their advice or go to them for help but that’s all you should do. Remember, not everyone in his social circle will actually want the best for him.

37. Come on, there’s no such thing as a perfect man!

Expecting your man to be a perfect Prince Charming isn’t realistic. Come on, we’re all flawed and these flaws make us beautiful. I know, I might have burst a huge bubble of hope for you but Prince Charming isn’t real; he’s just a fictional character.

So, you can’t expect your husband to be a pro at everything. He won’t magically twirl you on the dance floor or recognize you just by looking at your slippers, but he’ll love you and cherish your presence. He’ll keep you safe and happy. And this is enough!

38. Competition, but a healthy one

As I’ve already said earlier, challenging each other is a big part of marriage. But if you both take it too far, you’ll only cause more problems.

Competition is good but only when it’s healthy. Allow each other to learn and grow and mature into individuals. Whenever you have some time to spend doing something productive, make sure it benefits both of you.

If you keep pushing each other just to prove that you’re better than your husband, your marriage will fall apart in no time. If you really want to be a better wife, teach him things but also learn from him.

39. Pray for him every day

This tip is valid even if you’re an atheist or you don’t believe in praying per se. The greatest and purest form of love is to ask the universe for your husband’s health, happiness, and success.

And if you truly put your heart and soul into praying, nothing can ever tear you both apart. Make praying an integral part of your life. Pray for your friends and others but most importantly, for the man you married.

Remember why you fell in love with him and why God chose you both to be with each other.

40. Bargaining isn’t a part of the deal

Imagine your man constantly telling you, “Since I bought you this dress, I expect you to buy me my dream phone” or, “I did this for you, so now you must do the same for me”.

Wouldn’t you feel disappointed? So, when it’s the other way round, make sure to never bargain with your husband.

Most importantly, never treat sex as any sort of physical intimacy as a bargain. Sex isn’t something you should withhold just to teach him a lesson. Your motto should always be to make love, not a bargain!

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

So, girl, here are my top 40 tips on how to be a better wife and make your husband happier than ever.

If these marriage tips become too overwhelming for you, you can always consult a relationship coach or therapist who will guide you through everything.

But as long as you’ve got faith in yourself, I’m here to tell you that your husband will fall in love with you every day if you remember these tricks. And that’s a pinky promise!

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