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Extramarital Affairs – Definition, Stages, Types, Warning Signs and Everything Else

Extramarital Affairs – Definition, Stages, Types, Warning Signs and Everything Else

Updated on Dec 07, 2022 | Published on Dec 07, 2022

Extramarital Affairs - Definition, Stages, Types, Warning Signs and Everything Else

The first question that comes to your mind when you hear about extramarital affairs is – “Why does somebody who is married need to have an affair outside of marriage?”

Well, a happy married life (healthy relationships) requires several things to be put together for it to function smoothly, like love for each other (sex drive as well as romance), understanding, and attachment between the spouses.

Extramarital affairs don’t just happen overnight. They often stem from overall marital dissatisfaction and existing marital issues such as a lack of openness or communication.

But the fact that you’re here, reading this, there are high chances you’re either involved in one or being suffering from one…

But don’t worry, this think-piece will answer all your queries and concerns. So, let’s first begin with…

Extramarital Affairs Meaning

Summary
A romantic relationship between a married person and someone else who is not their spouse is termed to be an extramarital affair.

Extramarital affairs refer to romantic relationships or sexual encounters that happen between a married person and someone who is not the person’s spouse.

They are also termed as adultery or infidelity as the partners are attached emotionally and physically.

While some people end their extramarital affairs before they ruin their lives, for others these affairs can go on till they are caught.

Different people have different rules when it comes to infidelity, but infidelity is basically cheating on your spouse with someone else, and cheating is betrayal and can damage the marital relationship for good.

Extramarital affairs stages

According to relationship experts, extramarital affairs do not build overnight. It develops slowly over time… and here’s how.

1. Vulnerability

Marriages need work and a lot of effort from both sides to make it work. There are times when unresolved issues, resentment, or miscommunication may push the spouses to make certain compromises.

These compromises can eventually lead us down the path of affairs.

This is because fire eventually fizzles out in the relationship, and you start looking for it outside the relationship.

2. Secrecy

And so the next stage is when people find the missing spark in their life in someone else. That person is not the spouse, so both begin to meet in secret.

They try to hide their affair inside the closet as much as possible.

They know what they’re doing is wrong, and often try to push aside their guilty feelings because the high from this forbidden fruit is something they’re not willing to give up. 

3. Discovery

This is when efforts to keep all the lies straight start to get tiresome. The unfaithful spouse often worries about being caught.

On the other hand, the married person pulls further and further away from their spouse at home, both physically and emotionally. That spouse may recognize this but, when confronted, may either dismiss it or ignore it.

The ‘affair fog’ grows even further as they think the affair meets all their needs. Well, the satisfaction is often greater than their fear of being caught. 

But this turns awkward when the changed behavior gives out all the necessary clues, and the spouse finds out about the extramarital affair!

4. Decision

Once the cat is out of the bag, the cheating spouse has a very important decision to make – either stick to your marriage or walk out of it and carry on with the affair.

This is a very delicate two-way juncture. If the cheating spouse decides to mend their ways and make the relationship work, they would have to prove their loyalty time and again.

If they decide to move out of the marriage and carry on with the affair, they have to carefully ponder about the divorce and the kids (if any).

Extramarital affairs Types

There are different kinds of extramarital affairs, and each happens because of the lack of something specific in the marriage. Here’s a list of some 10 types to keep you aware.

1. Sexual Infidelity

This is what most people think of when they think of infidelity. It encompasses everything from extramarital affairs and hotel hook-ups to phone sex and social media sexts to closet canoodling and under-the-table footsie.

Generally, sexual contact with anyone outside of the marriage is implicitly defined as cheating.

Sexual infidelity may or may not include emotional connections between the partners.

2. Emotional Infidelity

An emotional affair is a little vague, abstract, non-describable label for “emotional bonds.” Emotional infidelity occurs when someone redirects their emotional energy away from their partner toward someone else.

Here, you aren’t just leaning on another member of your support system; you’re actively choosing to place your attention and efforts elsewhere.

For example, emotional infidelity means to fall for someone else, to tell someone else you’d ask them out if you weren’t in a relationship, or over-complimenting another’s personality or appearance to the extent that you know it would hurt your partner.

3. Romantic Infidelity

Romantic infidelity is the specific type of cheating that happens when one spouse engages in a romantic relationship with someone other than the married partner.

The idea of romance varies from person to person, but it generally involves “wining and dining”, flirting, and exploration of emotional intimacy with someone.

4. Casual One-night affairs

This type of affair can also be called a one-time betrayal. The typical one-night stand usually occurs when a spouse is away from home and the spouse involves in a sexual relations with someone else.

This type of affair is not necessarily an indication of problems in the marriage or that the betrayer is dissatisfied with their spouses.

It is an affair of convenience or opportunity. It is not something that is sought out, but rather, it occurs as the result of an opportunity that is presented. Majority of the time, the cheating spouse does not want to leave the marriage. It’s just a one-time thing.

5. Cyber-cheating

Thanks to 21st-century technology, infidelities have become more common! Also known as online affair or cyber affair, cyber-cheating occurs entirely through social media, text, and other internet forums.

Instead of actually seeing each other in person, today’s unfaithful spouses prefer to swap explicit pictures and videos or even just chat with one another on social media for hours.

These days, cyber affairs are an easy way for partners to stray or to explore the idea of infidelity without feeling like they have truly cheated!

6. Financial infidelity

Money can become a point of contention for many relationships.

If it progresses to the point of financial infidelity, one partner may be deceitful about how much money they earn, how they earn money, how much debt they owe, and how they spend or loan out money.

They may even have money hidden away in cash or other bank accounts that their partner doesn’t know about.

7. Obligatory Infidelity

This type of infidelity is based on the fear that if they resist someone’s sexual advances, it will result in rejection.

People may have feelings of sexual desire, love, and attachment for their spouses but still end up cheating because they have a strong need for approval.

In addition, their need for approval can cause them to act in ways that are at odds with their other feelings. In other words, some people cheat, not because they want to cheat but because they need the approval that comes along with having the attention of others.

8. Sex-addiction Infidelity

People who are sex addicts and have no emotional attachments towards anyone frequently switch partners in spite of being married to their spouses.

These people are never happy in a relationship and their marriage almost never succeeds.

9. Revenge Affairs

Revenge affairs or revenge cheating is a retaliatory act of infidelity. This type of infidelity happens when a spouse (who has been cheated on in a relationship), cheats on the other spouse – in hopes that it will teach the other how it feels to be cheated on.

However, revenge cheating ultimately makes both parties feel worse and can cause irreparable damage to the relationship.

10. Exit strategy infidelity

When someone wants to end a marriage, they sometimes engage in extramarital affairs to get caught, which forces the spouse to leave them. It is like they are tired of the marriage but would not take the blame for it.

The relationship had underlying tension and resentment building up for years. The relationship with the new partner typically lasts as long as the pain of leaving the relationship exists. The cheater will often spend many years by themselves to avoid commitment and “entrapment” again.

Extramarital Affairs Causes

People from all walks of life, regardless of socioeconomic status or place, are having extramarital affairs. But why?

Well, there can be many causes of cheating, but none of them include you. Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a way to exact revenge after being dumped, the cheater is solely responsible for their infidelity.

With that, let’s read about 12 primary causes of extramarital affairs

1. Married for the wrong reasons

Many people marry unwillingly, under societal or family pressures. They are often not given the option to choose their own life partners.

As a result, when they realize they are not compatible with each other, the spouses choose to find their ideal match outside the marriage. This is one of the most important causes of infidelity.

2. Early marriage

Early marriages also contribute enough to infidelity in marriages. When people are married young, they hardly understand the complexities of a marital relationship. They are mostly involved in fun and enjoyment with their spouses.

But with time, they mature and realize that the marriage was a big mistake. The couple may have contradicting values and ideals that didn’t come to light when they married.

Also, as the marriage progresses, the couple is faced with complicated challenges and problems in life. In such cases, infidelity in marriages occurs because they want to escape the responsibilities and complications in marital life and live life carefree.

3. Physical dissatisfaction

Sexual dissatisfaction with marriage is common. Marriage is a labor of love, and the lack of physical intimacy and passion pushes couples away from each other. Both men and women frequently cite a sexless marriage as a reason for their infidelity.

Sexless marriages run their course faster than they would have otherwise. Feelings of isolation creep into a sexless marriage and eventually forces the spouse to look for sexual satisfaction outside the marriage.

4. Feeling unappreciated

The feeling of being ignored and undervalued usually leads to extramarital relationships.

When both partners work, it is common for women to bear the burden of housework and childcare. In this case, the affair affirms the individual’s sense of self-worth.

On the other hand, unrealistic expectations of one spouse and constant comparison to others may also make the other feel unappreciated, and they may engage in extramarital affairs to feel more appreciated.

5. Emotional Disconnect

Emotional disconnect occurs in a marriage when one of the spouses avoids emotional intimacy. This generally happens when they become too detached from one another due to life and its circumstances. It may also be that they were never really close to each other in the first place.

A couple can become emotionally distant from each other for a variety of reasons, the most common of which are a lack of time, stress, and a communication gap with each other which is also one of the biggest causes of extramarital affairs.

6. Lack of shared interest and values

If you have nothing in common, people eventually become absorbed in chasing their own diverse interests. As a result, they will not spend enough time with each other.

They will have opportunities to engage with new people as they spend time apart from each other. And gradually begin to form bonds with those who share their interests. This frequently leads to extramarital relationships.

Also, both spouses may have different values and approaches towards life situations. This may result in frequent conflicts and unresolved resentments, which ultimately lead to the search for shared values in someone who actually understands them.

7. Inferiority complex

This is an issue that is more common in men. If a man remains faithful to his wife, he’s often referred to as a “slave”. So, in order to project a false sense of superiority, some men engage in extramarital affairs solely to demonstrate that they are the alpha.

However, this doesn’t mean women are not victims to this. Sometimes a woman may stray away from the marriage when they believe they need to prove that they still have the charm to entice other men and, in return, be pursued by them too.

8. Parenthood

Everything changes after you have children. Your priorities shift, especially for women. In this new environment, the father usually feels left out, and his needs are often left unmet.

Also, it might happen that the post-pregnancy body of the woman is no longer appealing to the man and he seeks pleasure elsewhere outside the marriage.

9. Midlife crisis

Since midlife crises often trigger the need for a change in life.

By the time people reach their 40s, most of them have given enough to their family and now want to shift their focus to themselves.

Some turn to pornography, some to alcoholism, while others are triggered to get involved (physically and emotionally) with someone else to regain the lost zest in their lives.

10. Frequent absence of spouse

When your spouse stays away from you for months at a stretch, the other partner is bound to feel lonely. In these vulnerable times, when someone offers them emotional (or even physical support), they get tempted and eventually cheat.

While a long-distance marriage is not suitable, there are ways to keep your marriage strong even when you are separated and remain faithful to each other.

11. Personal financial struggles

Money is also one of the biggest causes of extramarital affairs.

Personal financial struggles (excess debts and liabilities) or a lack of unity in financial planning can sometimes be the catalyst for constant argument within the four walls.

During such a vulnerable time, anyone who listens to your sufferings or offers financial assistance is greatly appreciated. This can result in extramarital relationships.

12. Revenge

This is a classic case of an eye for an eye. When a person discovers that their spouse is cheating on them by having an extramarital relationship, they plot their retaliation, and they feel that the only way they can exact their vengeance is to enter into an extramarital relationship themselves.

Even if it appears to be meaningless, they still go on with it. And so, revenge is considered one of the most significant real reasons for extramarital affairs.

Consequences of Extramarital affairs

When one partner goes outside of the relationship for emotional or physical needs, the other partner may end the relationship or forgive and stay in it. Whatever he/she may choose to do, the relationship or even the person can never be the same after this.

Yes, extramarital affairs have major impacts on the partners, especially the ones who got cheated – emotionally, physically, and mentally. While some consequences may stay lifelong, a few others may be temporary.  

So, let me give you a quick sneak-peek into the consequences, beginning with…

Emotional Impacts

1. Instability in life

Spouses who’ve been cheated on feel that their world has suddenly turned upside down. It feels like the rug has been pulled out from under their feet. Their whole existence becomes meaningless to them.

2. Emotions go on a rollercoaster ride

Emotions go hither and thither when people face infidelity in marriage. One minute they may feel like crying, the next moment screaming.

They may blame him today, blame her tomorrow, and blame themselves at the same time. It is common to feel a myriad of emotions when the extramarital affair of their spouse comes to light. But it is equally important to seek help when things start to get out of hand.

Mental Impacts

1. Damaged self-esteem

The person who has been cheated on will suffer a blow to his or her self-esteem. They may have the usual thoughts of, “Was I not enough?” or “If I hadn’t let myself go, this would not have happened.”

Just as children tend to blame themselves for their parent’s divorce, many victims of an affair respond to an affair by blaming themselves.

2. Loss of trust

The victim of an affair will find it difficult to trust going forward in life. Even if this relationship ends and another begins, the baggage of infidelity can follow.

The one cheated on in a marriage may never be able to trust anyone like before again.

3. Prone to mental health issues

A number of mental health issues such as anxiety and depression can affect both spouses (as well children, if they have any). A lot of people also experience symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress.

Alongside the shock to your mental health, as with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), discovery of infidelity can be a mental shock to the system you’ve built as a couple.

Physical impacts

One of the major issues extramarital affairs causes is sexual health problems – particularly in the case of a drunken one-night stand that didn’t involve condoms.

Doctors and researchers compared people in monogamous relationships with those who had multiple sexual partners and found that both groups were at similar risk of STIs. The researchers concluded that this was due to infidelity in those “monogamous marriages”

Since a number of STIs are symptomless and can have serious consequences if left untreated, it’s always best to come clean immediately if you might have put your partner’s health at risk.

Warning signs of extramarital affairs

Most times, people who’re getting cheated on often get this gut feeling even before the cat is out of the bag. But you can’t always rely on your instincts, can you?

So, here I’ll share the quintessential red flags that tell you your spouse may be having an affair with someone and how to identify them.

1. They’re always on the phone

If your spouse is on the phone most of the time and you can tell it’s not about work – that’s when you know something’s up.

A cheating partner would always spend more time on calls or chats because, of course, they want to spend more time with the new found fire.

2. They either become more secretive or overshare

This is a typical sign of cheating. If you find your spouse to be always discreet about their phone calls or they suddenly change all passwords – phone, laptop, social media; be sure they are hiding something from you!

On the flip side, the cheating spouse may act too smart and overshare about their day at work or talk about a phone call that occurred when you may have been around. They may even go to the extent of showing you their call records, texts, and social media profiles.

Just because a spouse shows you his or her phone records, texts, and emails, that doesn’t mean they are faithful.

Both the scenarios are equally alarming.

3. They shower unnecessary affection

It might not be the first thing to come to mind, but a partner who’s going above and beyond — whether it’s with public displays of affection, “just like that” gifts, or household chores — can also be a red flag.

4. You smell something “fishy”

In movies, we often see a man come home smelling like another woman’s perfume. Sometimes these types of scenes happen in reality, too.

If your spouse smells different when they come back home, it could be a sign that they’ve been with someone else.

You may also notice unfamiliar shampoo and soap scents. If your partner comes home freshly showered, it may be because they didn’t want you to get the after-sex smell.

5. Your sex life has lost the spark

If your partner is more interested in someone else, they will find all the excuses in the world to stay away from you. They will show little to no interest in intimacy.

On the other side, some cheaters indulge in sex more than usual just to cover up their mistakes. But you will easily be able to identify that they’re doing it just for the sake of it!

6. They become more conscious about their appearance

Changes in appearance can also be a sign of adultery. If your partner has recently been very mindful of how he appears in public, it might be because they want to appear desirable to someone else.

This is especially true for men who never bothered about their appearance earlier.

7. You find many mysterious expenses

No surprise, but money talks, like really, TALKS.

If you notice cash withdrawals from your joint accounts that are out of your partner’s usual spending limit or habit or unexplained credit card bills, the alarm bells are about to ring soon.

Cheating spouses usually use cash to pay for their outings with another person so that their activities can’t be traced back!

8. They pick up fights on trivial issues

When someone cheats on their spouse, they will get offended by everything, no matter how trivial it is. It may feel like your partner needs an excuse to fight.

Further, they would never accept anything as their mistake and blame the other person for everything that goes wrong in their relationship.

9. They talk too much about a particular person

A partner who can’t stop talking about a new co-worker, a friend or even a new gym buddy, may be hinting at something.

It’s not uncommon for a new connection with another person to gather intensity in a way that seems harmless at first and then slides over the line into something that is quite outside of the marriage boundaries

10. Their work schedule is fluctuating more than usual

It may seem that your partner has a lot more work in the wee hours of the night, a lot of weekend calls, or business trips lined up.

In reality, this extremely busy work schedule might just be a way they make more time for someone else!

11. They lie to your face

When a spouse has an affair, they’ll start lying. Then there will be more lies to cover up the previous ones, and the cycle continues.

Lying makes up a core aspect of an extramarital affair, and in most cases, your partner won’t want to show you any proof of the truth, as it will contradict their previous claims or behaviors.

12. They’re always out of reach

If your spouse doesn’t respond to your calls and texts and avoids communication with you, you should already start getting a little cautious.

And once they’re back, they will try to justify their absence with work or maybe an urgent meeting. This is a common sign of an extramarital affair

13. You hear rumors from friends and family

When people come and tell you about something suspicious about your spouse, you should take their words. A cheating spouse may be able to hide things from you, but not from everyone. It’s only a matter of time when someone notices something odd and comes up to you to talk about it.

You may dismiss such stories as useless rumors. But if you look at the patterns of their behavior, you will eventually realize that there’s no smoke without fire.

14. Gaslights you when you confront them about cheating

If you confront your partner and they get wildly upset about your accusation, that’s another warning sign. Worse, they not only deny the blame but also turn the guns to you.

They may accuse their significant other of watching too many TV shows that put ‘crazy thoughts’ into their head when in reality, their spouses have simply figured out what’s been going on behind their back.

15. Your instinct tells you

Trust your instincts. Your brain and body recognize subconscious actions and patterns.

If you suspect your spouse is cheating, and he/she exhibits several signs listed above and those aforementioned changes in patterns, you are probably right.

How to deal with extramarital affairs?

It is a hard and painful thing to deal with infidelity but here’s the good news, couples can bounce back after extramarital affairs. But for that, the unfaithful spouse must cease the affair, provide all details with complete honesty, and prove the loyalty again.

The betrayed spouse needs to forget it like a bad dream and let go of the despair in order to heal the broken marriage.

Other than that, here are some of the most effective ways to deal with an extramarital affair (if both spouses want to save the marriage at all).

1. Identify the cause of the affair

Apart from compulsive sexual behaviors or individual pathology, affairs tend to be a warning sign of a problematic marriage.

It is, therefore, essential to identify the underlying problem as quickly as possible and then take the right actions to help your partner cope with it.

2. Do not react in a hurry

You’re bound to feel shocked, angry, and depressed when you find out about your partner’s infidelity. But don’t let the emotions overpower you.

It is important to give yourself space to collect all your thoughts and feelings. You should rehearse in your mind what you will say so that you present yourself as assertive rather than aggressive.

If you approach the issue with anger, it will lead to rash decisions. Practice emotional regulation tools such as mindfulness, self-regulation, and seven-second breathing in order to deal with the discovery of the spouse’s infidelity.

3. Look into the family history

Parents’ behaviors largely affect a child’s personality. So, dig a little deeper into your spouse’s family history to find out if either of their parents ever had an extramarital affair of if a close family member was involved in infidelity.

4. The offender must be accountable and apologetic

The cheating spouse must admit what happened and take full responsibility. They must be completely transparent, providing answers to any of the other’s questions. This will lead to conversations about what went wrong and what needs to change.

However, it is best that the cheating spouse avoid giving every specific detail about their infidelity, as this often leads to hurt feelings rather than restoration. Only disclose as many details are necessary for your spouse to understand what occurred.

Trust will not return overnight, but accountability for their wrong actions is a good place to start from.

5. Keep zero contact with the affair partner

The affair must be over for good. It is important for the spouse involved in the affair to be open and honest and tell the other one that they are still committed to the marriage.

This drastic break from a lover can be a very tough task. They should understand that it is over, and over for life.  

Without total separation, both from mind and body, healthy marital recovery is impossible.

6. The victimized spouse should stay away from the lover

The idea is to push the lover away from you both – not bring them deeper into your relationship.

If you both are committed to restoring the marriage, you need to walk away from anything related to this “extramarital affair.”

Besides, confronting your partner’s lover might prove to be harmful as they might use this opportunity to create more problems in your marriage.

7. Do not seek revenge

This goes out to the spouse who was cheated on by their significant other. If your partner has cheated, try not to respond to it in the same manner or this may only put the so-called “nail in the coffin” in your relationship.

If you get involved in a revenge affair, you may just completely blow away any chance of reconciliation with your cheating spouse.

8. Show a proof of commitment

Changed behavior is the most important way to prove the commitment to save the marriage. The most vital change is constant reassurance.

The cheating spouse should frequently provide their significant other the reassurance they need and then follow it up with action.

It is important to allow the victimized spouse to assess the change. They should have full access to emails, phones, and anything else that the cheating person may have kept more private during the affair. These practices will help re-establish the trust that was broken.

9. Remember, forgiveness is the key

If your spouse was the one who hurt you, you will have days when you will feel frustrated and other days when you feel out of breath.

But remember, you both decided to save this marriage, and now you cannot give up midway.

So, you need to forgive your spouse to move ahead in your marriage. Forgiveness will ease the burden of pent-up emotions and anger in you.

10. Communicate well with each other

Effective communication is the only secret mantra of all happy marriages. So, set some communication rules and swear by them.

However, it’s important for both of you to remain patient and empathic and to continue to allow for productive discussion on the topic as the need arises.

11. Remember the good times

Try not to forget the pleasant experiences you shared with your spouse. Go to a place you both often visited together or watch old classic movies together or even go through your wedding album to remind yourselves of the love you have for each other.

12. Seek professional help

Couples counseling and marital counseling can help your entire family cope with the emotional effects of infidelity.

If everything else fails to reconcile the distance between each other – reach out to mental health professionals. They will help you get back up without fail.

How long do extramarital affairs last?

Summary: Extramarital affairs may last from a few weeks to a year. Some even last for years or even for one night, depending on the cheater’s desire to continue.

Extramarital affairs may vary in duration. Most usually last for about a few weeks to one year. Some may even last for just one night. While there are many that continue for years at a stretch.

The length of an extramarital relationship usually depends upon the individual who engages in infidelity.

If the person does it for fun or to reinstate his self-worth, it might not last longer than a few months. But if the person becomes emotionally attached to the new partner, it might stretch a little longer, or even last a lifetime!

How to prevent extramarital affairs?

Summary: Infidelity can be prevented if you are careful enough. The best way to keep infidelity away from your marriage is to look after each other’s needs and desires and also look out for each other.

Infidelity has rocked many marriages, and unfortunately, you might think that cheating is inevitable in marriage. That is not true at all! It is quite easy to prevent extramarital affairs if you are careful enough.

People often report that the need for respect, sex, validation, attention, or an escape led them to look outside their marriage for satisfaction.

If you put forward a conscious effort to take care of each other’s needs – mental, emotional and physical needs in your marriage, there would never be a reason for your spouse to cheat on you.

Next, you need to be careful about opportunities. Make sure neither of you falls prey to unwanted opportunities to stray away from each other. There are more opportunities than ever before to be near the opposite sex.

The most common place for affairs to begin is the workplace, followed closely by the gym. Be careful and aware of these opportunities, and make sure you do not get tempted by any.

Finally, you must understand your responsibility towards your marriage and your spouse and not act on your impulses. You must set healthy boundaries to keep yourself away from these temptations.

Can extramarital affairs be true love? – Things to Know

Marriage is not a bed of roses. There will be ups and downs, and it takes a lot of work to keep it together and reach the ’till death do us part’ stage. Extramarital affairs may look like redemption, but it doesn’t take long for them to turn ugly.

Here a few truth bombs about successful extramarital affairs to give you a reality check.

1. It may/may not be true love

It is very rare that a person finds their true love outside their marriage probably because…

  • Cheaters can cheat again
  • Affairs are mostly about sex than love
  • The complications and drama of divorce, custody and breakups are too difficult to deal with
  • The affair loses the passion once the honeymoon period is over

2. Someone will always end up hurt

Affairs come at a price, and at least one person always has to pay the price of a broken relationship. If the affair ends, the lover will be heartbroken. If the marriage ends, the victimized spouse, as well as children (if they have any) will end up heartbroken.

3. You might just be their casual fling

It is not necessary that the person you are cheating with; your true love; might not think you to be their true love. This relationship with you might just be a casual affair for them, and they might break up sooner or later.

4. The affair may not turn into a full-fledged relationship

This affair may feel like all that you want from life, but it won’t give you the stability like a marriage. So, think before you act.

5. Respect, above everything else

Of course, if your partner finds out about your infidelity, they will never be able to respect you but above all – will you be able to respect yourself? If not, then what are you even waiting for? End this affair before it’s too late to look back.

6. This affair may not fulfill all your needs

When you indulge in an affair, everything seems too dreamy primarily because of the newness. But remember that your spouse has spent a lot longer with you than this “newfound love”.

And nothing can beat time. So, if at the moment you think, “This is all I need in life”, it’s all because of the honeymoon phase. Eventually the fizzle will die and you will feel the same about your affair as well.

7. You can’t force a relationship

It takes two to Tango. So, for this affair to work, you would need your partner to reciprocate with the same intensity as you. Or else it might just run its course in a very short while.

8. You may not be ready to make the choice

You can find your “true love” in this affair if you are ready to take the plunge. But it’s possible that you’re still not ready to make a choice yet and eventually just choose to preserve what you have in hand.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Marriage is difficult and is not a rosy movie sequence with romance in gardens and flowers every day. But if you truly love your partner and care for your marriage, then know that there will be some difficult days too and if you fight through it, you will only emerge stronger and better together.

Keep reminding yourself of the wedding vows and the years that you spent on this relationship… you don’t want to put all of that in the bin.