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20 Telltale Signs Of An Emotional Affair At Work That Show You’ve Mixed Your Personal And Professional Life

20 Telltale Signs Of An Emotional Affair At Work That Show You’ve Mixed Your Personal And Professional Life

Updated on Nov 15, 2023

20 Telltale Signs Of An Emotional Affair At Work That Show You’ve Mixed Your Personal And Professional Life

Check for signs of an emotional affair at work – especially if you feel a deep connection with your co-worker. 

Perhaps you’re not even aware that you’re slowly falling for this person while spending time together every day. Others call you work spouses, but you believe it’s only because you guys can achieve anything as a team.

However, things might not be as simple. So, let’s find out here…

20 Signs Of An Emotional Affair At Work

Emotional affairs are common in workplaces. They start off as seemingly innocent platonic bonds. Probably, you, too, believe you and your work spouse are just friends.

However, does this connection lead you to fight with your partner or even neglect them?

Then, something is definitely not right!

So, before you crash your relationship, let’s check these signs.

1. You behave differently with them when your partner is around

Does your behavior with your colleague change when your partner is around? 

For instance, you suddenly start behaving formally and awkwardly with them despite having normal communication otherwise. 

If yes, it is a sign of an emotional affair. It simply means you are hiding something behind that formality around your partner.

2. You miss them in their absence

If you have started missing them even though your partner is around, you’re on the path of emotional infidelity at work. 

You miss them the way you miss a lover. It is not just an attachment. 

3. You feel jealous when they mention their partner

Jealousy is the first sign of an emotional involvement with a person. It is a sign of an emotional affair if you associate this feeling with your colleague, especially when you see them close to their partner. 

4. You know everything about each other

Do you tell everything to your coworker? Then, you are mixing the personal and professional lives. 

It is only possible if you are too invested in them to keep secrets from them – even if it’s something personal. 

5. You feel the sexual tension all the time

When you have feelings for a person, it’s natural to feel sexual tension. If you feel that spark with someone at your workplace, you’re definitely having an emotional affair with them. 

6. You make sacrifices for each other

In a professional platform, there’s no need to make sacrifices for others. 

But if you still compromise on important things in your life for them, things are not professional anymore! 

7. You always wish to impress them

It’s important to maintain a good appearance at the workplace

But do you always try to look your best around this particular coworker? 

If yes, you are trying to make a good impression. It comes naturally when you are emotionally involved with a person.

8. You fantasize about them

If you fantasize about being with your colleague physically or make scenarios in your head, your ship has sailed towards an emotional affair at work.

And just to be clear, people fantasize only when they are too much into someone or something. 

9. Flirty behavior is common between you

If you two often flirt with each other, things are no longer professional then. 

Occasional flirtations may occur between coworkers. But it is a sign of an affair when it gets frequent or if one of you is already in a relationship.

10. You wish they were your secret soulmate 

Do you see a secret soulmate in your coworker? If yes, you might have started idealizing them. 

While just idealizing a coworker is fine, but wishing they were your soulmate is a telltale sign!

This shows you’re attached to them, and it’ll lead to an emotional affair.

11. You avoid discussing them with your partner

People often have conversations about their workplace and coworkers with their partners. But if you avoid such conversations with your partner, you are trying to hide something. 

It might be an emotional connection that happened without your knowledge!

12. You want to spend life with them

Notice if you often wonder about what your life would be like with your coworker. If yes, you actually want to spend your life with them and wish to have met them. 

It can only happen when you have feelings for that person. 

13. You avoid talking about your partner

While not discussing your colleague with your partner is a sign of an emotional affair, it might also be the other way around. 

If you’re in an emotional affair with your coworker, you’d avoid mentioning your partner to them. You just don’t want to feel guilty for doing something wrong.

14. You get defensive about your relationship with your coworker

If you’re having an emotional affair with your coworker, your partner will eventually get suspicious. Eventually, they will ask about your relationship with this coworker. 

If this ever happens, and you respond aggressively, there’s a surefire sign. You overreact because your relationship is not clearly professional.

15. There is no professional boundary between you 

No matter how close you get while working with a coworker, there is always a professional boundary. There’s an unsaid limit that you’ll never cross with a coworker.

But if it is not the case with them, you are heading towards an emotional affair at work.

16. You are ignoring your relationship with your partner

This is a glaring sign of an emotional affair at work. You become so close to your colleague that you ignore your current relationship. 

For instance, you try to avoid your partner and your responsibilities in your relationship. Instead, you focus more on your emerging bond with your colleague. You might even prioritize your coworker over your partner! 

17. You tend to keep secrets

If you keep secrets about your interactions or conversations with a particular coworker, you hide behind the cloud of emotional infidelity at work. 

You are being secretive about it because you’re afraid of exposing your true feelings. You don’t want to say something and let others get suspicious. 

18. You have started comparing them with your partner

Admiring your coworkers is one thing. But when you start comparing their traits with those of your partner, there’s no doubt you’re emotionally involved with them.

You might have already started considering them as your partner. You wish you had met them sooner instead.

19. You are okay with the thought of your partner dumping you

In a healthy and happy relationship, you can’t even imagine being dumped. If your partner is toxic, then the idea of a breakup may not be as devastating. 

However, notice if this idea is okay – not because your partner is toxic, but because you have your coworker to “rely on.” 

If that’s the case, you have already created a space for this coworker!

20. Your only defense is, “We didn’t sleep together”

You are not involved sexually with your coworker. So, you think you are not cheating on your partner. Whenever your partner or 

But you call this person your work spouse and are more understanding toward them than your actual partner.

All of this shows that you are indeed involved in an emotional infidelity!

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

If you notice a lot of these signs, it’s high time that you face reality. You’ve been unfair to your partner. 

So, reassess your relationship and figure out if you want to stay loyal to your partner. If you can’t, it’s better to break things off rather than later. 

But if you’re prepared to work on your current relationship, put honest effort into it. Seek couples counseling to get over this affair. Cut off contact with this coworker and give it your best.

If you have the willpower, you can overcome this situation!

Are you interested to know more about ‘When To Walk Away After Infidelity’ then click here?

Are you interested to know more about ‘Signs She Cheated and Feels Guilty’ then click here?