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25 Signs He has Multiple Partners – What to Look for?

25 Signs He has Multiple Partners – What to Look for?

Updated on Sep 26, 2023

Reviewed by Katina Tarver, MA (Mental Health and Wellness Counseling) , Life & Relationship Coach

25 Signs He has Multiple Partners – What to Look for

So, you’re here looking for signs he has multiple partners… then there are chances you feel your partner is cheating on you or is a player. Well, I am sorry that you have to go through such a difficult phase, but I promise to be your support system in this journey.

Honestly, sometimes you are so in love that it’s hard to recognize the early red flags. When you fall head over heels, you can totally ignore the elephant sitting right in front of you.

This doesn’t mean having multiple partners is wrong… two people in a polygamous relationship can have multiple partners with honesty. But the fact that you’re reading this already means that you’re not in one.

So, take a deep breath and start reading…

25 Signs he has Multiple Partners

There is an old saying that says “share is caring”. It may be true in most cases but not when you’ve to share your partner.

…but how will you know that a piece of “your cake” is being given to someone else? Identify the red flags and take charge as soon as you see them.

If you don’t know what these red flags look like, keep reading…

1. He’s never around

…and usually without any valid explanation.

To be honest, maintaining multiple partners is a full-time job. So, there are high chances you don’t find him around for long hours.

Plus, he will be very creative with excuses to justify his disappearance. Cheater boyfriends/husbands are very cautious. He will feel the guilt and over explain himself to you. You can easily call the bluff if you pay attention.

For example, he might go on a lot of business trips but never tag you along. This is a sign that he needs time away from you… ofcourse, you know why!

2. He protects his phone like the CIA

I agree that privacy in a relationship is important. But if he is extra possessive of his phone, it’s not a good sign.

It’s usually a warning sign if you see him panic at the thought of you being around when a notification pops up. It implies that there’s something fishy on the other side of the phone.

Another quiet tell-tale sign is secretive phone calls. He almost never takes a call in front of you. Girl, some calls can be confidential, but not all of them.

3. He “accidentally” contracted STD

There is no way someone can catch an STD without the sex. If you and your partner suddenly have an STD, and the only explanation he gives you is that he doesn’t know how it happened- run.

This is one of the lamest excuses of all time. And this red flag is as big as a billboard. So, take note of it not only for your mind but your physical well-being.

To catch this early on, start testing yourselves for STDs regularly. If he is apprehensive about it, double down on it if you have to, to find out the truth.

4. You see used condoms you don’t recognise

Try to go through the trash. If something is going on, you’re bound to find a clue there. The most common clue is used condoms.

Men with multiple partners would always use condoms to avoid unwanted pregnancy. And where would you find it? At the bottom of your trash.

Also, notice if they are your usual brand or flavor. It can act as a confirmation that he has someone on the side.

So, make sure to take note of small things to get to the truth.

5. Mirror is his new best friend!

Is he suddenly obsessed with his looks? Is he hogging the mirror and bathing in perfumes? Or is he on shopping sprees a lot more than usual? Tch, now that can be concerning.

It’s not wrong for men to want to look good. But there’s a fine line between that and being low-key obsessed with it. Make sure to double-check before you come to any conclusion.

This might mean that he wants to be noticed by other women, or he has someone he wants to look good for.

So be cautious and keep your eyes open.

6. He is “tired” in the bedroom

There’s absolutely nothing that can keep men away from sex… except the fact that he is already getting it. So, if he denies it with excuses like there’s way too much work or he’s preoccupied with a project… it may be because there’s something fishy!

But if he constantly lacks energy in the bedroom but goes to “work” happy and excited, don’t you think you should look into it?

If he has sex with multiple people, there’s a high chance he will be completely spent there. He will be tired when he gets home and won’t have anything for you. Hence the “work pressure”.

The bedroom of a couple can be the most intimate place. It can hold secrets as well as spill some. So, keep your ears perked to hear them out.

7. He suddenly doesn’t like public places

The more he goes in public with you, the higher the chance of him getting caught. So, you can hear him say things like, “I want to spend alone time with you away from the public”, or “I don’t like the public eye on our relationship”.

A loving boyfriend would also want to flaunt you on social media. After all, what does he have to hide? But a cheating one would keep the account private and be very vague and secretive even if he posts anything about you.

So, don’t ignore the warning signs with things like “omg, he’s just shy”. Chances are he is hiding something from you, and that’s why you’re reading this article with so much attention.

8. There’s a lack of communication

Isn’t that obvious? If he’s dividing his time between multiple people, the communication is bound to get misinterpreted or lost on the way. You’ll find yourself isolated and may also feel like you’re the only one who cares.

However, with a lack of communication follows a lack of emotional intimacy as well. The conversations might feel superficial and, sometimes, pointless.

Communication is the foundation of a relationship. So, if he refuses to build it with you, it may be because you’re not the “only” person in his life.

9. He never tries to see the future

If he avoids any talk of the future, that’s a red flag right there. These talks may not necessarily be about marriage or kids. It can also be a trip that you both are planning to go to or some couple goals that you both are willing to achieve.

It might be time to evaluate your situation if you feel like you’re hitting a brick wall every time you try to have the talk.

To live in the moment is healthy in many cases, but both of you need to be in that same mental state.

So, if it feels like you’re the only one looking at the future of this relationship, chances are he isn’t ready to commit to you. He might be exploring other girls as well and is not ready to settle down.

10. He makes the world revolve around him

It’s always about his time and not yours. You dance around his schedule like his meetings, his office, his issues at home, etc.

Ask yourself whether it is ever about your comfort. If not, it may be because he has multiple partners, and so he sees you according to his convenience or need.

Remember, an accommodating partner would always value your time and effort. If you feel like your relationship lacks that, maybe it’s time to look into things deeper.

11. You don’t know him so well

Look at your relationship and ask yourself how much you really know this person. Do you two talk about your fears, insecurities or discuss some of your dark secrets? Or is it just you who never stops?

Secrecy in a relationship can end in disaster. And the disaster might be him cheating on you with multiple partners. It’s important to know each other deeply to build trust… and behavior like this doesn’t leave much room for that.

It’s hard to keep up with the lies if he reveals too much and that’s why he keeps his guard high. So, be aware and don’t brush these signs off your mind.

12. He is not interested to know you

Well, there’s no man who loves you but wouldn’t want to know you. So, if he is more focused on having sex and walks off of all deep conversations, there’s a problem, girly!

If he spends time with a lot of partners, there is a chance he won’t have any energy or interest to know anyone too deeply.

So, pay attention to these signs if you think your partner is going behind your back.

13. He never introduces you to his girl “friends”

Being friends with the opposite sex is absolutely normal. But as your partner, he should introduce you to his friends. It helps keep transparency and builds trust.

But if they are actually romantic partners masked under the name of “friends”, he won’t want you near them. This not only gives him an excuse when you catch him red-handed on the phone but also allows him to hang around publicly.

This is also a great tactic for cheaters to defend themselves and label you as “toxic” if you dare question anything.

14. He has commitment issues

Men with commitment issues often turn out to be quite the red flag. It’s okay to feel indecisive about a relationship but being exclusive is a basic requirement in monogamy.

So, if he is not willing to commit exclusively, that can be one way to let you know he is looking for other prospects.

Try not to overlook such matters if you’re looking for commitment. This type of cheating can break your heart beyond repair.

15. He vanishes like a magician during holidays

He is nowhere to be found during weekends or time offs. Lovebirds always try to spend all the time they can… with each other. If he has too many “solo trips” planned during time off or is always over at some “friend’s house” it’s not looking good.

If this happens very often, you must dig in and find out what’s the matter. A regular pattern like this is not healthy and is almost always found in unfaithful partners.

Question him about what’s keeping him out. If he cannot come up with a good enough reason, it might be a big red flag.  

16. He checks out other women

Try to notice how he acts around other attractive women. What’s his gaze like, and how is his body language?

If he is too flirtatious, even when you’re around, you have quite a foundation to think he has multiple partners. If his eyes are never satisfied with you, how can you trust him to be faithful?

So, dig a little deeper, talk to his friends and keep a check on his whereabouts. It will help you find the truth.

17. He is joined in the hips with his phone

Sometimes, our nature of work exposes us to a lot of screen time. But is it just that, or is he just glued to his phone even when you’re together?

Do you often catch him smiling while he is on the phone? Does he disappear into the bathroom all the time with his phone in his hands?

This is a red flag bigger than the state of Texas. And if you follow the trail, it will lead you to the cat… if you know what I mean.

18. He keeps his past a mystery

If a guy trusts you with his past, there’s absolutely nothing that can break you both apart. So, if he is being mysterious about it, chances are there is some darkness there.

Have you noticed how he talks about his exes? Is it like every single one of them has wronged him and somehow, he is a victim all the time? This just doesn’t sit well.

All the people you come across cannot be bad. Similarly, you cannot be the victim every time.

Find out more, dig deeper, and maybe you might find the dirt you’re looking for.

19. Lying is his second nature

…and you find more holes in his stories than in his boxers.

Lies are necessary to maintain multiple partners. But sometimes, among a sea of half-cooked stories, one forgets the details. And holes begin to appear.

So, it might be time to reconsider things if he lies to you at the drop of his hat.

20. You don’t get to meet his friends and family

This type of player will never take you to the family or introduce you to friends. I mean, of course… his web of lies will fall apart if you all get close.

Not only that, guys with many partners tend not to do that because you’re just another plaything. He has many partners, and he can’t introduce everyone to friends and family.

As heart-breaking as this may sound, you know in your heart that I am telling the truth. So, introspect your relationship to see how much of this aligns with your suspicion.

21. You’re the giver

You’ll always find yourself more invested in the relationship than him. Someone who has multiple partners won’t be as invested in one relationship.

You might feel you’re being used emotionally and physically. Do not take such things lightly. You do not deserve to be drained like this. Especially for someone who is sleeping around and doesn’t even care.

So, keep your guards high… and walk out if you don’t feel loved.

22. He accidentally slips out another woman’s name

Has he ever slipped out another woman’s name while talking to you and dismissed it as an accident? Did he ever say someone else’s name during sex?

This does not look good. It can mean that he has someone else in his mind. It is easy to get confused if you juggle women like a circus clown.

There is a possibility that he has multiple partners besides you, and you don’t hold any special value to him. So, be careful.

23. His financial report has tons of unexplained expenses

Financial reports are the key to every man’s secrets. Check his credit card expenses and bank account statements.

If you find some transactions like moving large sums of money to another suspicious account, you might want to look further.

These things don’t lie so you now know who might be lying. So, prepare yourself to face the possibility that your partner might be cheating.

24. He wants to be physically intimate with you

Now that you’re reading this and reflecting on your relationship, do you find overexcited (borderline, hurried) to be intimate with you?

Does he want to be emotionally connected as well? If not, he might just be focused on sex and nothing else.

This is absolutely infuriating and heartbreaking. Let me tell you that he might have different partners and is repeating the same pattern. You’re not alone!

25. He feels so far away

Even if you’re sitting right next to him, it might feel like he is so far away. As if they are not there with you. It would be like to touch someone through a glass door.

If he is always distracted or lost in his thoughts while being right next to you, chances are he has someone else in his mind.

Don’t ignore these signs like it’s “just in your mind”. Dig in deeper and find out if there’s anything more.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Now with these signs in your kitty, let your inner Sherlock Holmes takeover and try to get to the bottom of the truth. Who knows, maybe the truth will give a new meaning to your life.

If he cannot stay faithful to you, he doesn’t deserve you. So, step up your game, and show him who he messed with if things go wrong.

Are you interested to know more about ‘How to Tell If a Woman Has Multiple Partners’ then click here?