Are you interested in casual dating? Want to go on dates? Interested in having fun like regular couples… but without any commitments?
Glad that you reached out… because this think-piece is your one-stop solution to date casually.
Whether you want to stay away from relationship drama… or just want to comfort yourself, you’ll find all the answers here.
Here, you’ll learn to have fun like a regular relationship… while you take all the precautions against “feelings”.
Sounds easy right? But I bet it’s not.
If you don’t know what you really want… it can become the worst possible relationship.
So, before we dig deep, let’s first know…
Casual Dating Infographics
Casual Dating Meaning
Casual dating is when you date, hang out, and do other relationship “things” without any commitment or expectations. You have the freedom to live your life your way in casual dating.
Casual dating implies a type of relationship between two people where they have a physical relationship, go on regular dates, consistently spend time with one another… but they aren’t exclusive.
Neither of the partners demand a long-term committed relationship. They might have an emotional connection… but it’s not strong enough to pull off relationship labels.
It’s when you’re fond of them and want to hang out and try dating them. But aren’t sure how things will turn so you keep the promises off course.
A casual dating relationship is quite common in the modern world. This is because people keep their options open in casual dating. So, it allows meeting new people while being casual one.
It is a softer version of no-strings-attached… because some emotional attachment is allowed in casual dating.
Though it’s simple, some people confuse casual and serious dating. So, let’s find out more here…
Casual Dating vs Serious Dating
Different people define the “casual” part of casual dating differently. But there are some distinct differences between casual and serious relationships.
Also, some people don’t understand how they want to date. They end up hurting their partner when their thoughts on dating clash. So, let’s take a peek at the differences…
|Basis of difference||Casual dating||Serious dating|
|Attachment type||Depending on the casual partners, there’s some amount of emotional attachment.||Usually, there’s strong emotional attachment.|
|Relationship labels||There’s none. You don’t call them “your anything” at all.||You call one another girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, or something similar.|
|Commitment type||Completely casual… you don’t promise them a future. It’s like a hook-up but with some degree of romance. It’s all for fun and nothing serious.||There’s a strong commitment in serious dating. Two serious dating partners might not marry one another in the long run, but they definitely hope for it.|
|Exclusivity||Casual partners aren’t usually exclusive. You may date multiple partners… but you may choose exclusivity if you prefer it.||In monogamous serious dating, partners are exclusive.|
|Relationship longevity||It depends on how long the partners want casual relationships.||It’s a long-term relationship with future discussion and planning.|
Since its commitment-free, there is more confusion with other similar relationship structures like FWB and hookups. Let’s know better here…
Casual Dating vs Hooking vs Friends with Benefits
Sex is not necessary for casual dating, but the emotional connection is. FWB is just the opposite. Meanwhile, hooking can be casual dating, FWB, or other structures. It’s a general phrase.
There are different ways to define a relationship without commitment… it all comes down to your relationship dynamics.
Casual dating, friends with benefits, and hooking up all sound the same but have minute differences.
In casual dating, there might be no sexual relationship… even though people use it as an alternative for casual sex.
Friends-with-benefits involve sex without any romantic or emotional connection. But there’s a platonic intimacy in the situation.
Hooking up, on the other hand, is a general phrase. It defines relationships where people engage in any kind of physical intimacy… it might or might not be sex.
Want to casually date? Hold up, consider what you want among these…
Types of Casual Dating
Your casual dating life depends on what you desire from it. Wonder what’s more important in your relationship, sexual pleasure or emotional connection?
Also, it can vary with how you think about the relationship. Let’s check them all here…
1. The emotion-based
It might be on your mind… how can I invest emotions in a casual relationship? Isn’t that low-key commitment-ish? Well, sometimes you need emotional support but feel unsure if you can return them the same.
Keeping things casual in such situations helps you from disappointing them. This kind of casual dating involves platonic intimacy. You might snuggle up or share your feelings with them.
It’s a friendly relationship but you share more complex feelings with them. There’s a deep emotional attachment in this type of casual relationship.
2. The sex-based
Usually, people think casual dating and casual sex goes hand in hand… it doesn’t. But since most people interpret it that way, they practice the same.
Some people call it a fling, others name it friends with benefits. But sex-based causal dating always involves some emotional intimacy. So, it’s not like a one-night stand either.
You have sex and dates pretty often… sometimes people combine them into sex dates. It’s all how you perceive it.
3. The live-in-the-moment type
This is the dangerous one… because either partner didn’t begin the relationship label conversation… or dodge it actively.
The only issue is that your partner might misinterpret it as a normal romantic relationship… while you don’t pay attention to their thoughts.
You only wanna live in the moment and wreck both of your lives for good. The other person gets a broken heart and you get a bad experience. So, define your relationship to keep complications at bay.
4. The no-commitment type
In this type, you do both what people do in casual and serious dating. For instance, you have date nights and sex… you also introduce them to friends and family.
You both live the life of a serious romantic relationship… however, you clearly discussed that you won’t commit to one another.
This one is a different kind of risky… because when you deeply entangle with one another’s life, you might catch feelings. But if you’re both good with it, nobody’s stopping you.
5. The trial-dating type
This is when you try to know one another. They intrigued you and you want to know them closer. You spend time with each other to know if you’re a good match or not.
You’re like friends but you have a goal. If things work out for the better, you might start seriously dating.
However, this comes with its own flaw. If one of the two falls in love in this phase, while the other thinks it won’t work… it will be one big mess.
Also, another big question: till when will you date casually? It’s better to discuss such deets before you begin this arrangement.
Wondering why anyone chooses it over regular ones? Well, there are quite a few reasonable answers. So, let’s head in…
Why do people date casually?
People have varying reasons to date casually depending on their life experiences.
You may turn to it because you aren’t ready for commitments yet. Or, a way to save yourself from a nagging partner. Let’s see the most common ones here…
1. To figure out how you wanna date
In casual dating, due to the lack of commitment, you can figure out your needs.
What do you actually want in a real relationship… do you want someone with common interests, motivation, lifestyle? Or are you alright with major differences?
You might find your relationship boundaries and deal breakers too.
2. To seek emotional support
If you’re afraid of commitment or letting others down… and yet want an emotional connection… casual dating might help. You get what you desire without any pressure for giving more.
3. To avoid the drama
If you know friends with toxic relationships… or had one yourself… you know how dramatic it gets. In casual dating, they won’t confront you about “Who’s that girl/man to you?”
There won’t be meaningless jealousy and conflict in a casual relationship.
4. For sexual satisfaction
Most people date casually for sex, even though it’s not mandatory. You can release the pent-up sexual energy and also find out your likes and dislikes in bed.
You may also engage in sexual activity with multiple partners. This is a healthy way to self-discovery.
5. To warm-up for later
Whether you experienced a bad relationship or didn’t date for a long while, it works for both. It can help you get used to real relationships without too much pressure.
If you lose faith in relationships or feel under-confident about being in one… a casual one can bring back your faith and confidence. It can also help in dealing with the fear of rejection or intimacy.
Interested in casual dating? Wondering what it has in store for you? Let’s know it from…
Benefits of Casual Dating
Many people look down on casual dating or even those who practice it. However, nothing is wrong so long it’s consensual and there’s no toxicity or abuse… just like any other committed relationship, right?
However, casual dating gives way more than it takes. So, let’s know what you get…
1. You get a burden-free relationship
If you like romantic things like dates or any couple activities… if you find them cute and want to try them without commitment, casual dating is your solution.
2. You get an intimate companion
We all need someone to confide in our darkest hours. It might be a friend or a life partner. However, your friends might not like all that heavy stuff… or, you might not be into commitments.
This is where your casual date comes in handy. They can give you moral support during difficulties.
3. You know them without expectations
When you don’t define the relationship as casual dating, the person won’t expect anything from you. This will keep you free from the added pressure of relationships.
4. You get many options
If you don’t like the idea of exclusivity, casual dating gives you that freedom. You can have as many partners as you want… so long you have everyone’s consent.
5. You get a regular sex mate
A search for a sexual partner isn’t easy. You gotta know about their sexual health and boundaries from scratch. You must also take consent every time you meet new people.
Having a fixed casual date reduces many processes. You know one another’s preferences, likes, dislikes, and also keep one another in the loop about your sexual history.
6. You don’t force them to spend time
In serious relationships, some people force themselves to accompany their partners. It’s either because they fear making them angry, pity them, or want to feel closer to them. It’s not always bad but you can’t feel comfy when the other one’s forcing themselves.
However, in casual dating, there’s no such force. You date casually because of your common interests.
7. You can consider commitment later
While you casually date someone, you have all the scope and time to consider commitment later. You can take your own time to know them well and then consider your decision.
You don’t need to jump into a serious relationship without knowing them properly.
8. You can spot the red flags before commitment
You also got the time to evaluate them from up close. Think about the aspects you hate and won’t tolerate. If this person has them, take time to find it out.
You’ll identify the red flags before beginning a serious relationship.
9. You even enjoy a bad match
Sometimes, you admire someone really cool… but later find out they aren’t what you thought them to be. In fact, you don’t match at all… it’s a shame and you gotta break up.
However, if it’s casual, you can enjoy their good parts without any expectations. It saves you from being hurt… because you won’t hope for a long-term commitment.
10. You don’t need to be transparent
In committed relationships, partners often wish they knew everything about one another. It’s not compulsory, however, people do it to feel closer.
If you don’t like the idea of sharing your life stories but still have a relationship… casual dating might be the solution.
11. You only have fun
If you want, keep your casual dating life free from any drama. Whether it’s yours or theirs, you can choose to only make fun memories… like in normal relationships, sans troubles and misunderstandings.
12. There’s physical intimacy
Since there’s some bond between you and the other person… you can enjoy spending time with them. Whether you don’t have sex, cry in their shoulders, or snuggle up… there’s no judging.
You get it all without any pressure of reciprocating feelings.
13. You have freedom
Since there’s no commitment, you’re not answerable to anyone. Nobody will breathe down your neck or order your life around. You’ll live your life your way without any meddlesome disturbances.
14. You can take your time
When you’re hunting for a long-time partner, you hurry to find the perfect match. You worry about spending too much time on the wrong one and losing time for the right.
Some people can’t focus on their relationship and forget to enjoy it. You can take it easy in casual dating.
15. You might just fit like puzzle pieces
If you both fall for one another, you can take the next step. You won’t need to start from scratch about your likes and dislikes. So, you save yourself more effort and heartbreaks.
Anxious about how it might hurt you? Let me tell you a few…
Risks of Casual Dating
Like any other relationship, casual dating comes with its own set of cons. However, they’re not as vast as the pros. Still, it’s a huge issue if you fall prey to any of the risks. So, before you step into this world, consider these…
1. Things go downhill when feelings aren’t mutual
It’s possible that you both don’t fall for one another mutually. It’ll hurt you if your partner rejects you. On the other hand, if they catch feelings and you don’t, you’ll feel guilty.
2. There might be communication issues
If either of you doesn’t communicate your expectations from the relationship, it can disappoint and hurt you both.
Also, some people use casual dating as a sorry excuse. They don’t like communicating and choose it as an easier alternative. This isn’t a healthy reason to choose it.
3. Some use it to deceive others
Some people don’t want to take responsibility in life. They only focus on their selfish needs. They use the label “casual dating” to have fun when only they want, to hide their faults in the relationship.
Some also date casually with their crush who’s into casual dating. They have dishonest motives like making the other fall for them with time.
4. You might get STI
If you or your partner doesn’t practice safe sex methods… have multiple sexual partners… you have a higher risk of getting sexually transmitted diseases and infections.
5. You might get jealous
When you both have multiple partners, you’ll have less time for one another.
If you prefer a particular casual partner or vice versa… but can’t enjoy spending time together – maybe because one of you likes someone else better – it can result in jealousy.
Sounds confusing and complicated like serious relationships… but entirely realistic and possible.
If this section took a hit on your determination, let me help you understand your needs and ability to carry such relationships.
How to know if Casual Dating is right for you?
Before you begin a new kind of relationship, know if you and your partner are alright with it. A simple “Are you okay dating casually?” doesn’t do your heart enough justice. It’s time for more open-ended answers. Know if your thoughts match with these…
1. You’re not in a hurry
When a youngster begins their dating life, they don’t need to settle down any time soon. They have all the time to have light-hearted fun.
If you want to push away the heavy stuff for later… enjoy spending time without commitments, this might be your perfect fit.
2. You wanna warm-up
Some people take a break from commitments after a bad experience… like a breakup or a partner’s death. It takes years to fill in their wounds and regain the confidence to date.
However, you can’t straight away jump to “I’m all healed and ready to hit commitment-land”. The first step to breaking the long silence is hard. So, casual dating is suitable for warming up your heart to real relationships.
3. You’re genuinely fine with it
If you think you can handle a relationship without commitment… feel you can be as open to multiple choices and moving on… and you’re not convincing yourself forcefully – Casual dating won’t hurt you.
4. It’s not your shield
People must heal themselves after bad relationships.
If you think casual dating is a good idea to protect yourself from relationship problems. Or, that it’s a better alternative to serious dating, don’t. It might become your worst experience.
If you don’t have such thoughts, it can be the best one.
5. You don’t catch feelings
Can you handle your partner having multiple options? They might have sex with others while you steadily only date them. They might find someone else more funny and appealing than you.
If such thoughts don’t bother your heart, it’s perfect for you.
Think casual dating is all that easy? Not until you follow these…
Casual Dating Etiquette
Since casual dating is quite close to regular relationships, there’s lots of pressure about how to do it in style. Being a good casual dater actually matters. Why? Because there are so many other fishes in the sea.
Nobody will stay back without these must-haves…
1. Respect the boundaries
Your casual partner will have all kinds of boundaries – physical, sexual, emotional, and more. Your partner might not be okay touching certain topics.
So long it doesn’t interfere with your safety and health… don’t violate any boundary. Also, never force them or take the liberty without consent.
2. Ghosting is uncool
Sure, it’s a casual thing… you don’t owe them anything, however, you can’t just disappear into thin air. Think about your partner’s feelings… they might get worried for your safety.
If it’s hard to call it off in person, send them a short text with a good reason.
3. Show gratitude
You both are gaining from this relationship… so, be honest in your relationship. If you don’t want a casual one, don’t lie. Further, don’t lead them on if you want a casual relationship.
Communicate your expectations from the relationship, give them time to consider, and date only when you’re on the same page.
4. Be respectful
The casual relationship status doesn’t allow you to behave disrespectfully towards them. You’re casual about the relationship tenure. However, the other factors are still the same.
Don’t make them feel any less because you’re not serious. You don’t have the right to hurt them. Never make fun of them because it’s casual… they have feelings too.
5. Stay true to your word
If you planned dates, don’t ditch them for a non-important engagement. Keep your promises and be a true lady/gentleman to them. They aren’t your slaves that will come and go as you ask.
If it’s urgent, honestly share the issue and push your date to another date. This won’t hurt your date and keep the healthy dynamics on the table.
But that’s not all because the harder part is still left. Let’s check some basics…
Casual Dating Rules
To make any relationship work, you need some rules and boundaries. These help you move forward in the relationship peacefully without hurting anybody. So, let’s learn some rules of casual dating and make the best out of your experience…
1. Be honest with yourself
Are you ready for a casual relationship? First, know what you truly want. Your feelings are no child’s game. Do you fall in love too fast?
If you can’t keep your emotions away… or end up confessing before the other one… casual dating is not for you.
Don’t take it as an option to heal yourself. Don’t make your casual partner a rebound either. While in the rebound phase if you both start dating seriously, it’ll be messy when the spell wears off.
2. Build the ground rules together
You both will have some likes and dislikes inside and outside the bedroom. Discuss them together, know the common likes, and negotiate the uncommon ones.
If you don’t want to discuss your past or current relationships, put that down. If you want to keep them away from home, discuss it. Instead of voicing out these concerns, write them down.
You may not remember everything you want or don’t at once. So, take at least a week to consider all kinds of boundaries.
3. Communicate transparently
If you want a casual relationship, tell them… if you want to call it off, tell them. If you don’t want sex in the equation, share it. If something bothers you about the relationship… again discuss it openly.
This isn’t a real relationship… so stop thinking about what they might feel. Be more honest in this arrangement to make this work. Also, ask about their likes and dislikes while sharing your concerns.
Further, don’t forget to discuss the safe sex precautions for your safety.
4. Never hide your sex life
You don’t need to show off what you did in another’s bed. Rather, be open about how many partners you have, about their STI status, and the kind of precautions you use with them.
Always take consent from all of your partners whenever anyone gets more sexual partners. Don’t keep anyone in the dark. Ask your partner to do the same for your safety.
5. Limit romantic activities
Don’t go out on sweet dates or burden one another with cutesy gestures. Don’t say I love you when you don’t mean it. Don’t get one another flowers that spells commitment in flower language.
Don’t give them a ring or heart-shaped jewelry. It’s easy to distinguish the lovey-dovey acts. So, stop acting clingy and think before you get them a present.
Don’t behave suspiciously, it might make them anxious.
6. Keep it a secret
Keep your relationship down and undercover. Don’t make public appearances whether it’s physically in friends, family, or office circle… or virtually on social media.
It’s best to not connect with one another on social media… unless you both are already connected. If later is the case, don’t unfriend or unfollow them out of the blue.
This isn’t a real relationship so why involve the public in your personal life? Enjoy spending time together and that’s it.
7. Prioritize yourself and your needs
Again, this isn’t a relationship, so no sacrifices. You don’t want to meet them for a while, keep it that way. Don’t give in to any kind of coercion. You don’t owe them if you didn’t promise them anything.
Even if you have a noble heart and become a sacrificial lamb for them… what will you gain? You won’t feel happy, and when this arrangement ends, you’ll regret not putting yourself first.
8. Keep your options open
Don’t hang out with one person only. You have more chances of catching feelings that way. Casual dating allows you to seriously date later… but what if you limit yourself while they have fun?
If you must think about a serious relationship, communicate to know their thoughts on it.
However, if you don’t plan to commit, date a variety of people. From a bad boy to a gentleman, from a punk chic to an innocent one. Know your type well before you stop your search.
9. Have more outdoor dates
Avoid at-home dates unless you both really love it. Don’t bring them to your home or visit theirs. You don’t want a temporary person leaving memories in your safe haven.
When you go in your different paths, everything around you will resurface memories. Similarly, if they catch feelings but you don’t, they’ll feel the same as theirs.
Also, even if it’s casual, try every possible date activity. Life is too short so enjoy it well.
10. Avoid the “possessive” alley
If you don’t want to date multiple people, that’s alright. However, don’t stop your partner from dating others. Don’t become jealous-type or they’ll run for the hills.
Casual dating is more about fun and fulfilling yourself with happiness. There’s no future commitment so don’t bind them in the jealous parade.
If you feel jealous, go out and ask for that hot guy’s number in Walmart. Don’t let the negativity seep in too deep.
11. Don’t live beyond the moment
A casual date is all about living your life without any judgment or restrictions… so live in the moment ONLY. If you must make future plans, don’t make it before 1-2 weeks.
Don’t make any long-term future plans… you aren’t sure how long you’ll stay together. Avoid disappointments and prioritize your present more than the future.
Your partner might get the wrong signals if you do so. They might fantasize about a future together or feel anxious about your behavior.
12. Don’t expect too much
Again, since this isn’t your real boyfriend/girlfriend, don’t expect too much from them. They won’t pick you up after work or help in housesitting.
Even if both of your siblings go to the same school, don’t ask them to pick your sibling. They might give you an ear when you’re down… but that doesn’t make them liable for everything.
Also, don’t do such favors for them either.
13. Don’t text them too often
Your casual date is not your text buddy. Unless it’s about a date night or something about your arrangement… don’t text them too regularly.
Whenever something significant happens in your life… Do you always reach out to your casual date? If yes, then you’re growing too dependent on them.
While you have fun, remember to keep your feelings down.
14. Take your responsibility
When you’re in a pinch, do you ask them to cover for you? Or, during date nights, do they pay for you? If yes, change your habits.
You might not stay together for long, so why burden them with your responsibilities. The same goes for your side… don’t pick up their tabs and beware of gold-diggers.
15. Don’t sleep together
Sleeping together and snuggling is an intimate action. If you don’t wish for a serious commitment, don’t sleepover at either of your places. Don’t make any unwanted memories in your personal space.
Also, if your partner is falling for you, sleeping together might give mixed signals. However, if you must indulge in such intimacy, do it at neutral places like hotels.
16. Don’t share special spots
Discuss and come to a mutual understanding… Neither of you will take the other to their secret or special spots. It might be a restaurant, a pretty view, a hideout, or any other special place.
Imagine making memories with them there and parting ways. Bringing your serious partner to that spot will feel uncomfortable.
17. Check in with emotions
Check-in weekly about your feelings for one another. Plan dates for check-in dates and ask one another about your feelings. Be very specific and honest during the check-ins.
If you answer dishonestly, it won’t be a good experience for either of you. Be self-aware and ask yourself how you feel.
If you want to spend more time than usual, monopolize them, feel jealous… These are red flags of catching feelings.
18. Spill if you catch feelings
If you’ve developed feelings, express them about it. Don’t wait for the ideal moment and just do it ASAP. Don’t pressure them into exclusivity… because feelings don’t work that way.
Tell them “So, I might like you more than a casual date now… how do you feel about it?” This gives them an idea about your feelings. They also get the option to choose the next step.
19. Stop when your instincts scream
Suppose your partner decided to begin a serious relationship after you confessed, but you don’t feel they understand serious commitment. Or, your partner still hangs out with their past partners but you want exclusivity.
Or, it’s your partner acting clingy and you suspect they caught feelings… not you… it’s time to retreat. If your inner voice says something’s off… perhaps try communicating. But it’s best to stop.
20. Wish them luck for life
If they find a steady partner, don’t hold bitter feelings. You both were out on a search in the wild. They got their pair before you, left you all alone… you’ll obviously feel hurt.
However, that’s no-good reason to be an a** to them. So, wish them luck, don’t compare yourself with their new partner, and look for your next date.
While it’s a great experience, it can be very demanding and exhausting. So, let’s find out…
How to take care of yourself while on a casual date?
While dating casually, your life can’t revolve around your casual partner only. They aren’t your life partner, so why would you do that?
Don’t tire yourself out and take care of yourself with these small casual dating tips…
1. Catch up on your breath
Going on regular dates can become hectic. The average working adult can’t keep up with too many activities. If you feel you’re tired or there’s an over-dosage of dates… take time apart.
Take this time to rest and nourish yourself physically. You can’t overdo something even if it’s fun. You’ll fear your next date night that way.
2. Practice your hobbies
Your and your partner’s world may not be the same… so don’t depend too much on them. Indulge time on your hobbies individually. Make some space for what you do on day-offs.
If you only get the weekends off, don’t push yourself for the dates. Prioritize what you like first. Don’t promise them a date, weeks prior. You may never know how you’ll feel on that day.
3. Visit your loved ones
You have other connections like family, friends, and coworkers. Give them some time in your life because they’re constants. Your casual partner is important, but not more than these forever ones.
4. Choose your protection wisely
Decide on the most suitable protection types. Consider if you’ll use male or female condoms, dental dams, diaphragms, or other kinds of barriers.
Consult a doctor if you have doubts about anything. Also, carry a condom even if you’re a female. Be responsible for your own sexual health. Don’t give into unprotected sex.
5. Check in with a specialist
Regularly test your STI status whether you have multiple partners or not. Also, ask your partner to report their and their other partner’s STI status.
Further, if you feel unsure about your relationship dynamics, consult a relationship coach.
In casual relationships, someone always catches feelings first. If you fear it happening, let’s know your next step…
What if you catch serious feelings?
If you’re catching serious feelings, communicate about it with your partner ASAP. It will save you from heartaches whether your partner returns your feelings or not.
If you catch feelings in a casual dating relationship, will you confess? Possibly you’ll give in to your fear of rejection and losing whatever good things you have.
However, if you let it be, you’ll either snowball your feelings or delay a good relationship… in case both of you caught feelings. Moreover, if they find someone better while dating you, it’ll hurt more.
At most, they’ll reject you and never see you again. Though extremely hard, that’s much better than the other possibilities.
If you wanna be sure… remember you might have a chance if 1) you guys made it through tough situations together or 2) they look at you with dreamy eyes.
When it’s neither, you know your answer… and there’s no point delaying the confession anymore. But whatever it is, don’t ghost.
Contrarily, if your partner caught feelings instead but you didn’t… you might want to quit. Let’s understand how you can do that.
How to end casual dating?
Since there were some emotions in the relationship, ease the blow of a breakup. This might be the last favor you’ll do them… and their last memory with you. Might as well make it a soft one. Let’s do some damage control with these…
1. Do it face-to-face
You’re still alive and healthy, so don’t disappear… don’t ghost them. That’s one of the worst dating world trends in the current time. Don’t fake your death either.
And if you’re not sick or in deep trouble, don’t delay it either. Don’t give them hope when there’s none. Set them free sooner… don’t hope they’ll ask first.
2. Don’t lean on technology
Technology made everything easy on us. We can reach out to our loved ones instantly… and then some of us break up on texts.
Do you think a confession text is acceptable to date? No…? Then how does anyone think breakup texts are fine?
Unless you’re geographically distant, don’t opt for this. It’s disrespectful and no less than ghosting. Don’t go on a vacation to increase the geographical distance.
3. Choose a comfortable situation
Also, choose a good place and time. Don’t break up during a memorable day like birthdays, marriage or death anniversaries, or other celebrations.
If they’re emotional, somewhere near their place can be a wise choice. Don’t make them travel long distances alone after a breakup. They need to cry in peace after hearing you out.
4. Keep away the petty excuses
Don’t say “It’s not you… it’s me”… that never helps avoid this overrated phrase. It hurts worse than ever. Give them real reasons or even tell a white lie if you must.
Perhaps tell them you got back with an ex… or you found someone at your friend’s wedding party.
5. Don’t blame them either
Be honest about the reasons but don’t bring up stupid issues. If they have some behavioral issues, share them. It might help them in the long run.
However, if it’s something they can’t change or doesn’t really matter in love, don’t say it. So, avoid making beauty, race, gender, weight, height, or any health issue your reason.
Leave but don’t give them insecurities for later.
6. Use more I’s than you’s
If you don’t know how to start the speech, begin it with “I”. Like…
“I experienced a lovely time with you within these few days. But I don’t feel we can work it out.”
There’s no blaming or shaming in this sentence. Take the last blame, cool their head, and reduce any chance of arguments.
7. Don’t forget the encouragement
If you want to take it up another notch, praise them. But don’t say “You’re pretty/handsome… you’ll get someone better”. Because the next thing on their mind is “If I’m that great then why not you?”
Rather say “I loved how you taught me positivity. I really appreciated it. I wish we can go back in time and become friends. But not in this situation…”
They’ll know you have good intentions.
8. Cut off all connections
Once you’re done, don’t reach out or check in on them. You don’t have the right to interfere in their life anymore. Your presence will open up old wounds, and also fill them with a hope of your return.
Leave them alone… and if you feel too worried about their safety, reach out to a mutual friend or their loved ones.
9. Accept your bad feelings
You might feel guilty for hurting them. If they cried or confessed before the breakup, it’ll hurt much more. The point is… it’s okay to hurt. You’re allowed to feel bad and regret it.
Just because you initiated the breakup, doesn’t imply you’re heartless.
10. Brace for the backlash
Your ex might hurt you afterward or the day itself. It’s normal to feel angry after a breakup. Their friends might attack or slander you. So, make sure you’re prepared with some supporters who know about the situation.
However, if it’s you, try your luck with these…
How to take a casual relationship to a serious relationship?
If you feel this is not enough… that they might be your destiny… give it your best. Don’t back off from this step, because there’s no place for regret. You have one life, give it your all to live the best life. Come on, follow me to the next page of your life…
1. Understand your feelings
Don’t rush into the confession right away. Take your time adjusting to your feelings. Consider what you really want. Do you want to really take their responsibility? Will they reciprocate your feelings?
Or, do you want to monopolize them? Even worse, are you using them as a rebound? Do you want to relive old dreams of a happy relationship with your current partner?
2. Identify the red flags
People in love don’t notice or refuse to admit the potential relationship red flags. It’s not just you, it happens with most of us. Think carefully… do they treat you well? Are they honest with you?
Do they treat service industry workers and animals nicely? Minute behaviors can help you know the real person better.
3. Imagine a future
Now imagine yourself beside them… do you seem happy with the current dynamics? Does the current relationship make you happy… or is something lacking?
What about your goals? Do you both have similar thoughts about settling down? Do you both like children? If your future goals and dreams don’t align, it might not work out.
4. Don’t use phone for confession
Just how breakups don’t work out over the phone, confessions don’t either. You won’t find their real feelings if you’re on the phone.
Also, when you confess in person, give them your complete attention. Don’t fidget around with your phone… because if you did, you won’t get the best answer.
5. Be mildly suggestive
Break the ice with a hint like “When do you plan to settle down? I was wondering if I had any chance…” Laugh and joke about it to test the waters.
Play it cool even when you’re nervous… fake it til ya make it. If they don’t respond, you already got a clue about the refusal. Don’t continue the conversation if they ignore you and prioritize your self-respect.
6. Communicate honestly
But if you’re serious about your feelings, you gotta take it off your chest. When it’s about your heart, we can’t afford any regrets mate. So, communicate clearly about your feelings.
Don’t waste their time and get straight to the point. Tell them what’s going on so they can also take a stand. If you waver, they’ll not take you seriously. Don’t let them disrespect your feelings.
7. Shield up, buddy!
If they ask you to stay friends or continue with the current dynamics and wait till they feel the same… that’s enough. Don’t let them disrespect you anymore.
The point is, they don’t feel the same. So, don’t stay back because the uncertainties might shatter you into pieces. Don’t bend at their will and cater to your needs first.
8. Listen to their story
Are they still talking? Then hear them out… you might find out something interesting. Perhaps, they have some feelings too? If they ask you to wait but not as a casual partner… that’s great news.
Listen to them actively and don’t judge their words too fast. However, don’t hope for too much. If it’s a consolation speech, hear them out for old time’s sake.
9. Don’t get bitter
If they don’t like you back or things don’t work out for the best, don’t attack them with hurtful words. It’s a natural reaction to rejection but control your urges.
Your feelings are valid, but you can’t express negativity in front of them. Don’t slip out your vulnerabilities, rather cry it all out alone.
10. Rejoice for the new life
If they accept you or give you clear hope, celebrate your day.
However, if your day ended with disappointment… celebrate what’s remaining in your life. A cool experience, a clear understanding of your likes, and hope for a better future and fulfilling love.
Think this wasn’t enough to quench your thirst? Have more queries? Well, let’s head to the…
Casual dating is a tough relationship structure. You put in some emotions, you get some emotional support… However, you can’t expect the same forever.
You both are free to retreat from the relationship… and there’s a chance to ask them out too. If it feels too confusing, clear your doubts here…
If you want a casual, commitment-free and temporary relationship, then it’s definitely worth it. You might not find your fate during casual dating, but it’ll be a great experience.
Usually, there are more benefits than drawbacks of casual dating… so rest assured you’ll have a good time. However, don’t hope to change your casual partner’s mind.
They won’t be in for commitment or exclusivity out of love.
Casual dating is more about the relationship than the sex. For instance, you go out on plenty of dates… it doesn’t stop at sex. You can even date casually without sex.
Also, casual daters communicate when they can’t make it on a date. It’s a respectful arrangement where you enjoy one another’s company.
If you do want sex, discuss your wants mutually. Perhaps, they’re in for making out but not the home run. It entirely depends on your boundaries and comfort.
Many casual daters fell for one another and things worked out smoothly. Either they realize that they fit perfectly, their heart doesn’t desire anyone else, or they see one another as perfect.
Sometimes couples break some boundaries and fall in too deep.
However, sometimes it doesn’t end on a happy note. Either because one partner doesn’t feel the same… or the other one shows relationship red flags like possessiveness, toxicity, or abusive signs.
So long you both stick to your relationship rules, it’s healthy. You’ll feel emotionally fulfilled and comfortable with the relationship’s pace. There won’t be any burden of expectations either.
The same goes for your physical and sexual health. Nourish yourself, take breaks to focus on yourself, and definitely never skip protection.
It depends on both of your motivations to stick around. However, it usually lasts from a little less than a month… to at most four months.
It’s way more exciting than a committed relationship. So, these relationships exhaust earlier with the enthusiasm overload.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Like all the different relationship structures… casual dating might be for you, but not for the next person. It requires lots of effort while you keep your expectations away.
It might be a wonderful option because you can’t commit. But the worst choice ever, because someone else wants security and a promise.
Also, if the one you admire isn’t up for this… never force or manipulate them. They might have different expectations from you.
Keep it consensual, let all the parties know what’s happening, and check-in. It’s your responsibility to take care of all of your partners.
Are you interested to know more about ‘Millennial Dating’ then click here?
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...