Wondering what to do after break up? Always thinking about your ex and wailing in pain? Feeling guilty for breaking up with them? Or, blaming yourself for everything?
Hey… don’t think like that, you know that’s not true. You’re perfect the way you are. After all, you came here to get help. If a person isn’t in their right mind, they don’t consider help.
You did your best… and now it’s my turn to return your equal love. Wondering how? Well, this think-piece will answer all your possible post-breakup queries.
Learn to love yourself and return to the mainstream of life with me. So, hold my hand tight, and let’s dive in…
What to do after break up? – Step-by-step process
If you recently broke up with your partner, I understand your feelings. You feel heartbroken, confused, and desperate for help. Your life becomes stand-still and you just want to reverse everything.
However, that’s not possible… So let’s know what to do after breaking up with someone…
1. Don’t contact them
You’re vulnerable post-breakup, so keep minimal contact with them. Block their number, remove them from all social media, and fight the urge to text them.
This isn’t a permanent decision but for now, stick to it, else you’ll be more hurt. If you see them posting about their happy life online, you might fight them.
If you stay in touch, you might resume the broken relationship. It might get super messy, so refrain from the contact.
Rather, whenever you have an urge to contact your ex, call a friend or distract yourself with an activity.
2. Vent as much as you want
Breakups hurt so don’t deny it… don’t say “I’m okay” because you’re not. Vent out your anger in a healthy way. The easiest? Shut the door, cry, scream, yell, and even sob into your pillow.
Don’t use anybody else as a punching bag or direct your anger at anyone… not even your ex. This is an important healing step, so let it all out.
Validate your feelings, and don’t think “I’m a man so I mustn’t cry” or “I initiated the breakup, why will I cry?” If nobody is there to console you, listen to breakup songs. Cry it out all in your room.
3. Move on from denial
Some people can’t accept breakups and hope it’s a temporary break. They can’t accept that yesterday everything was fine… and today their partner is no longer theirs.
They hope that everything will get back or it’s all a nightmare. Well, you only delay the healing process with denial.
If you feel the same, convince yourself there’s no going back. It’s time to heal and move on. They’re your past and a beautiful future awaits you.
Seek your loved ones and express yourself if this doesn’t work.
4. Don’t overthink
Normally, committed couples plan way ahead in the future: which city to settle in, when you’ll get married, honeymoon location, how many kids you’ll have, who’ll pick the kids… the list is endless.
Though breakups spoil your dreams and expectations, you should never let go of the hope. People overthink past promises and question them.
You might think “Were they bluffing when they said that?”
It’s all in the past so stop thinking about it. If you can’t help it, talk with friends and family and consider the brighter side. Also, remove all the mementos of the relationship from your room.
5. List your priorities
Sob over your broken heart, but don’t lose focus of your life. Question yourself, “Which is more important, past or future?” If you know it’s the future, then who stands in your future?
Your ex is nowhere in the picture, so stop thinking about the relationship. This relationship doesn’t exist in the future, but you do. So, find out your priorities, have a deep convo with yourself.
Give yourself time to reflect and build a perfect future… even without a partner.
6. Put yourself first
In romantic relationships, people prioritize relationship health and mutual goals. Since it’s over, time to focus on yourself… that you’ve been neglecting for a while now.
Evaluate yourself and your life before and after the relationship. Did you neglect an important part of yourself? If yes, now is the time to nourish it!
7. Indulge in silliness and spontaneity
Life isn’t black and white, so enjoy the remaining colors. Don’t just feel sad in the corner of your room.
Get some sunlight, catch up with friends, go shopping, get a makeover… or get a crazy new hair color. Get adventurous and daring, find old buddies from middle school, or learn a new hobby.
Even try a solo trip if any friend or family member isn’t around.
8. Never dismiss your emotions
While you try your best to move on, don’t hide your feelings. It’s okay to remember the past and feel bad. Sometimes, you can’t force yourself to feel good and that’s okay.
Your brain isn’t a memory chip, you can’t format it. Small memories resurface and you can’t help but miss them. They have been a big part of you until today.
Accept these feelings, infact, journal them – it will make you feel light. Also, pen down what triggers their memories and how you can distract yourself.
9. Absorb the peace of singledom
The worst move after a breakup is another relationship. Don’t get in a rebound relationship hoping to continue the past dreams. This is the time to identify your boundaries, turn-offs, and expectations.
Make peace with your thoughts before accepting someone else’s clutter. Sign up on dating apps to meet new people only when you’ve completely healed from the past breakup.
10. Grow, mature, and bloom
Grow into a mindful person to handle all life hurdles peacefully. Connect with yourself with simplicity. Focus on the details of your daily chores. Meditate or jog in the morning to calm yourself.
Sleep like a baby and develop into a better and wiser person.
But that wasn’t the end of it. So, let’s know the…
Dos and Don’ts after break up
Based on human emotions, people react differently to breakups. Some wonder how to get him back, others wonder how to make her jealous. The emotions never stop fluctuating and you just want to respond to the devil’s call.
So, let’s know some more rules here…
1. Focus on their negatives
Your relationship wasn’t perfect, rather no relationship is. Despite how much you love your ex or a future partner, it’s never perfect.
But now, let’s remember how bad your ex was. Were they kind to people? Were they kind to you? Magnify their flaws and bring yourself some peace.
2. Build other relationships
There are relationships other than human-to-human ones. A relationship with a pet and plant is equally precious. Perhaps, you didn’t notice that during your relationship?
So, what do you want to get? A plant or a pet? The options don’t end there… It can even be books or any hobby.
3. Feel good about your past
During the relationship, do you think you did your best? Yes? That sounds nice and promising. Most people can’t understand their good traits.
But, if you made the other person happy, that’s plenty of proof. You’re a capable and loving person, so be proud of yourself.
4. Focus on the teachings
You learned lots from this relationship. For instance, your boundaries, likes, expectations, trigger points… Everything is growing.
Relationships are fragile and they last only when both sides are compatible. Be thankful for what you learned because it’ll save you further disappointments.
5. They are not ALL bad
Whether you fell out of love or they, nobody’s a villain. Don’t feel bitter because they don’t want you. They have the right to live their life too. You can’t force them into a relationship either.
6. Remember you’ll get through
This might feel like the worst moment of your life. But this too shall pass. So long you don’t give up on yourself, it’s good. You might have such experiences again… but let’s not dwell on possibilities.
7. Avoid potential meeting places
Did you meet your partner at Target? Was there a particular location you both frequently met? Avoid places where you guys might meet.
Even the thought that “you might see them” surges emotional pain. To save yourself from more misery, avoid such locations.
8. Avoid severe makeovers
Post-breakup glow and makeovers are all fine. However, don’t be someone you aren’t. If you’re not into short hair, getting one won’t work. If you don’t like funky hair colors, don’t get them.
Don’t try to fix your flaws… you got it all wrong there ,mate. It wasn’t because of a flaw, but because you weren’t meant to be.
9. Don’t get into rebounds
Don’t jump into another relationship after a breakup. You might continue living your relationship fantasies with them… however, it’ll soon fade and hurt you both. You’ll feel guilty, and they’ll feel used.
10. Avoid breakup sex
Some people beg their ex to feel their warmth for the last time. But will breakup sex heal your heart? Will you feel happy when they leave after sex? Or, will you feel like a discarded object?
Don’t do something you’ll definitely regret.
11. Don’t try to catch their attention
Many of us go out of our way to catch an ex’s attention. It’s usually to show “They lost good stuff”. However, it makes you look miserable. Clearly, everyone understands you’re not over them.
Do things for yourself, not to make them regret. Hope the best for them and continue healing.
12. Don’t drunk text them
Texting them sober is bad enough for you. So, don’t even think about keeping chances to drink-text. Drink with a trusted aid around and keep your phone in their custody.
13. Don’t beg them
Never reach out to them to return. If they’re gone, it’s all for your good. They didn’t cherish you enough, so don’t lose your dignity. Value yourself a bit more and the perfect one will appear.
14. Don’t demotivate yourself
Breakup is the result of a failed relationship. However, it’s not a failure. Rather, you successfully came out of an unhealthy or loveless relationship.
Also, don’t assume that you’ll never fall in love, die single, won’t see anyone for life, or have trust issues.
15. Don’t assume the worst
Your ex might befriend people from the opposite gender. You might notice them with that friend you worried about.
But you don’t know the truth, so don’t assume they cheated. Don’t create false stories or slander them.
If you can’t help staying in contact, check this first…
How to re-establish boundaries after break up?
You can’t avoid seeing your ex if you’re coworkers, classmates, or have children. Though you’re quite hurt, you can’t ignore them in the long run.
But, to protect yourself from getting hurt more, build strong boundaries.
Wondering how? Let’s get down to it…
1. Keep some distance
Even if you’re friends or coworkers, unless it’s absolutely important, don’t connect. Take this time to heal from the negative emotions.
Marriage therapists suggest a break from one to three months. It’ll also help you refrain from false hopes and emotional connections.
2. Focus on your needs
During this phase, find out what you want. If contact is inevitable, then consider how your heart wants it. Do you want to ignore them entirely? Or, do you want to maintain a healthy friendship?
Will you ever call them, or do you want to keep it short over texts? Build boundaries based on your needs.
3. Recognize one another’s needs
Another part of boundary setting is accepting their needs. Even when your choices clash, figure out a middle ground… something that really doesn’t hurt anyone.
For instance, they wanna stay friends, you don’t… your boundary gets preference.
They wanna spend time with your children, but you don’t want to see them. Let them visit while you spend time with friends. Solve your boundary differences amicably.
4. Avoid confusing actions
If you stay in touch, don’t act like everything’s normal. Don’t habitually hug them when they’re around. Don’t let them lean their head on your shoulders either.
These send the worst mixed signals. So, decide some boundaries about financial and emotional support, physical contact, using a common space, and suggestively romantic gestures like dinner dates.
5. Figure out the encounters
If you don’t plan to see them at all, discuss how you’ll behave during public encounters. This might happen if you’re classmates or coworkers.
Keep the encounters polite and short. Don’t spread rumors about one another. Don’t spill any inside news to other friends or coworkers either.
Boundaries help you protect yourself. But you also need nourishment, so know it from…
How to take care of yourself after break up?
After a breakup, people often drown in miseries. You may doubt yourself, feel insecure, try fixing your flaws. There’s no end to self-deprecating thoughts. But you must learn to stop for a healthy life.
So, let’s touch base with self-love again…
1. Follow a nourishing routine
Post-breakup scenario: You drown in your miseries and forget caring for yourself. Not a single person missed this phase.
This doesn’t help your mental health but deteriorates it. Force yourself into a routine when you give up on yourself.
Things to do regularly: exercise, meditate, have balanced nutritious meals, listen to good music, get enough sleep, and connect with your friends.
2. Indulge in something you love
Routines aren’t easy so add something loving in the mix. Motivate yourself with a good book or delicious dessert. Pamper yourself after a tiring exercise schedule.
Give yourself a foot massage or spa. If you’re into flowers, try gardening. Reward yourself for following the routine.
3. Always let the emotions out
Normally, everyone feels multiple emotions simultaneously after a breakup. If you do, don’t feel confused. You might suddenly feel angry or reminisce about sweet memories.
Whenever that happens, connect with loved ones to share your emotions. Or, record yourself speaking about it.
Know how YouTubers share their hearts in front of a camera? They interact all alone, so why not try that for once?
4. Time the emotional phase
Don’t get stuck in the emotional outlet. Limit your grieving time and lighten up your mood afterward. Watch a comedy or action show or listen to music that isn’t about your ex.
Do something to distract yourself from the heavy feelings. Nothing will completely change your feelings, so don’t expect magic. A walk outside can also help you brighten the mood.
5. Become your own motivator
Get some sticky notes and let out your inner motivator. During your best friend’s breakup, you became the best motivational speaker. For yourself, you can do the same… It may be tough but you can do it.
Whenever your mind fogs with your ex’s thoughts…. Write “I need to focus on myself, my present, neither the past nor the future”. Think positively even when it’s hard.
There’s more trouble if they’re on your social media. So, let’s learn to deal with that here…
How to deal with social media after a break up?
If you were in a long-term relationship, you’re possibly connected on social media. There might be tons of couple pictures online.
Did you always comment on one another’s posts? Then their posts get preference on your feed.
That’s already too much pain, so soothe yourself with these…
1. Avoid the apps
Your ex doesn’t own your device, account, or social media apps. However, you’ll feel like stalking them when you open the apps. Also, the couple goals posts and your ex’s picture won’t help.
Take a break from social media. If you have free time on the weekends, go for a weekend trip. Do anything to avoid social media.
2. Don’t update relationship status
You don’t need any more drama in your life. If you instantly update your relationship status, people will ask for bites.
Rather, change the privacy to “Only me” before updating. Nobody will know a word of it. Also, if you initiated the breakup, your ex won’t get hurt.
3. Don’t share breakup posts
During breakups, you vibe with the sad posts much more. But, avoid sharing such posts because the important people already know.
If you make your feelings public, people will either grab the popcorn or an opportunity to use you. Vent to your friends in chats, over calls, or in person.
4. Remove your ex from the list
If you guys want to stay friends, have a professional relationship, or have no hard feelings… stay connected. However, you can hide, mute or “take a break” from them.
Use your privacy settings to maintain the distance. However, if they’re abusive, follow the easier route. Unfriend, unfollow, or block them if that’s possible.
5. Never stalk them
Sometimes we can’t help our curiosity and learn it the hard way. We stalk our ex because we want gossip. But if your ex starts dating, then what? What will you do with their status update?
Other than hurting yourself… How is it useful? So, let’s not reopen old wounds with this step.
Social media isn’t the end of complications. It’s torture if you lived together. Let’s know this…
What to do after break up if you’ve been living together?
If they lived with you or crashed over at your place, that’s too painful. Your bed might remind you of sweet memories… your pillow and blanket might smell of them. The matching mugs and slippers might make you cry early in the morning.
We gotta do lots, so let’s head in…
1. Wrap the souvenirs
Whether they gave you a teddy bear, pictures, or Louis Vuitton merch, wrap them all up. Box up everything that reminds you of them.
There’s no hurry to throw them, so keep the box out of your sight. If someday you feel ready, open the box and sort out what you’ll keep or throw.
2. Take out their clutter
If your ex left behind any object, box them too. Search your room well to clear everything out at once.
Drop them a respectful text about their belongings. List up the left items and ask them if they’ll pick them up.
3. Schedule the pickup
If they’re willing to pick up their items, keep minimal contact during the schedule. You may not want to meet them so ask a friend to house-sit. Meanwhile, you may leave your apartment to not meet.
Or, ask them to stay at the door and hand over the box. Don’t invite them to your safe haven anymore.
4. Or, donate to the needy
If they don’t want to pick up the items, they’re still good to use… donate it to the needy or even to the thrift store.
Double-check with them if they don’t want anything back. Take verbal consent that you’re allowed to do whatever you feel.
5. Redecorate your place
Now that you cleaned the mess, time to remodel your place. Nothing too fancy, but shift the furniture placement, change the curtains and bed covers, get rid of stuff that smells like them.
You don’t need to go overboard if you’re financially tight, so change what’s possible.
While you soothe yourself, someone harmlessly pokes at the injuries. What will you do? Let’s find out here…
What to do after break up if you’ve mutual friends?
If your ex was one of your friends, you possibly have too many common friends. This makes things even more chaotic because they want to know. They might not mean harm, but they’ll eventually discuss it with someone else.
Let’s know how to deal with the troubles in your friends’ circle here…
1. Avoid spilling inside info
Your mutual friends might ask you about the breakup. But it’s best to avoid this topic and further controversies. Different perspectives of the breakup may impact friendships.
Ask them to support you rather than interrogate you.
2. Don’t tolerate false rumors
If your ex shares inside info about the breakup, don’t stand that. If they slander you or attack your reputation, combat that. It’s hard to clear up misunderstandings if anyone asks you.
3. Don’t get emotional
Once again, be mature… don’t let your emotions take the better of you. Don’t slander back your ex while defending yourself. Defend yourself with a clear mind and don’t let out unnecessary deets.
4. Avoid breaking into factions
Sometimes mutual friends take sides and split. If you were a huge group, such splits are heart-breaking.
You can’t influence them out of their decisions. But be less dramatic to avoid such occurrences. Don’t spread or tolerate negativity.
5. Never ask about your ex
In the long run, you’ll meet mutual friends repeatedly, but not your ex. You might wonder how they’re doing… but let that remain a thought.
If word goes out from your mutual friends to them, they might 1. Get hopeful, or 2. Feel you miss them. When you don’t want any of them, avoid it.
Another issue is when there are more people in the mix. For that, follow this…
What to do after break up if you’re in a polyamorous relationship?
When you break up with one of your poly partners, it affects the others too. Your mood swings disturb your other relationship dynamics. Your other partners might easily misunderstand or feel anxious.
So, let’s learn what to do in this situation…
1. Share your thoughts with others
When one person is out of the mix, the others will worry about you. Talk to them about your feelings. Don’t bottle up the emotions because communication is vital in polyamory.
Express yourself to them and don’t worry about bothering them. They want you to open up too.
2. Ask them for support
People assume polyamorous folks never feel sad. Because when one hurts them, other consoles. But you’re aware that’s not the case.
You need support, love, and compassion from your partner(s). So, ask for it… they’ll gladly reach out and validate your feelings.
3. Keep them in the loop
Sometimes, you might hesitate to get intimate after a breakup.
If it was a bad breakup, you might have trust issues in other relationships. You might feel lethargic and disinterested in your remaining partners.
Inform your partners about your situation. If they know about it, they won’t feel hurt and you’ll avoid misunderstandings.
4. Discuss new boundaries
After your ex left, did you notice something new about yourself? Perhaps you learned that you can’t accept some relationship dynamics?
Suppose the breakup was because of some toxic trait. That’s a non-negotiable trait for you. So, it may result in further breakups again. Discuss your or their boundaries once again.
5. Refrain from gossips
If your ex abused you in some way, definitely share it and get help. However, if they treated you respectfully, then don’t slander them behind their back either.
Your partner(s) might stay in contact with your ex. Keep out the negative deets to avoid misunderstandings in current relationships.
Wondering how to soothe yourself or overcome the negativity of breakups? Let’s learn with these…
101 Things to do after break up to cope with it
Many people can’t deal with post-breakup struggles. Their thoughts always spiral down to their ex, past, the breakup. You may replay every moment of their relationship. You might even feel suicidal or have murderous intentions towards them and their loved ones.
But let’s learn to cope with it all here…
1. Squish the squishy
Sour memories might fill your mind sometimes, but the anger does you no good. Get a cute squishy and play away. Let the rage out of your body and soul.
2. Motivate young souls
Many unfortunate kids don’t have healthy family dynamics and it often impacts their innocent minds negatively. Teach them the rights and wrongs of life and show them the way to happiness.
3. Do some relaxing activities before bed
Don’t smoke or drink before bedtime. Rather, do something rejuvenating for better sleep. Definitely go easy on the caffeine. Switch to sleep-inducing tea or beverages, but not sleeping meds.
4. Hunt down a good therapist
If you feel hopeless and nothing works out down in this list, speak to a therapist. Though everyone doesn’t need professional aid, don’t feel ashamed to get help.
5. Immerse in books
Do you have a rich library around? Go there and pick a good book. However, don’t choose anything romantic and avoid putting yourself in a difficult situation.
6. Go crazy on weekends
After a hectic week, pamper yourself on Sundays. Don’t let the free time pass without something worthwhile. Get a mani-pedi, facial, or acrylic nails.
7. Visit pet shelters or café
Ever snuggled a snuggly animal? Doesn’t that fill your heart with joy? That’s because our nervous system releases feel-good chemicals during pet snuggling. So, hunt down your nearest pet café.
8. Reach out to a support group
Find a support group on social media to cope with breakups. Lots of people share their coping mechanisms and advice with others. It’s a great self-care method.
9. Bask in the outdoor breeze
Even if lots of sunlight and air enters your room, go out. Don’t relive the quarantine misery when you have a choice. Shop yourself instead of ordering online.
10. Break a sweat
Breakups leave us miserable and insecure about our bodies. Hit the gym, build some muscles and release endorphins. Boost your confidence and happiness together.
11. List your ex’s shortcomings
Miss your ex? Want to contact them? Rather write down all of their downsides. Remind yourself why you’re better off separating. You know well they weren’t right for you.
12. Notice the beauty of walks
People feel long drives are romantic. What about long walks? It clears the negative clutter from your head. Also, it feels great to notice the natural beauty during walks.
13. Use a mental-health leave
Your mental health situation may impact your professional performance. The result? Your team suffers from it. Think that’s worth it? So, instead apply for a leave and resume energetically.
14. Concentrate on breathing
Ever tried mindful breathing? Or the 4-7-8 breathing? With closed eyes, inhale for 4 seconds, keep it in for 7 and exhale for 8. It helps reduce stress and anxiety.
15. Break in a new diary
Write down every negative feeling during this phase. Anger, hurt, desperation, don’t leave out anything. Also, note how you calm or distract yourself. This offers great mental health benefits.
16. Ask for support
During the first few weeks post-breakup, seek support. Ask your loved ones to check in on your condition. It might not be every hour, but whenever they get time.
17. Go out dancing
Despite your weight, height, or other factors, your body can do wonders. Even if you have a disability, you can still dance. Groove your body your way without judgment.
18. Or to a karaoke bar
Another cool way is singing your heart out. If you don’t have a karaoke bar, turn on your fav music video with lyrics and sing along.
19. Always be grateful to nature
This world is full of miracles, so respect and cherish them. Find motivation from the steady Himalayas to the endlessly flowing rivers.
20. Explore your capabilities
You were a different person before, during, and after your relationship. You never stopped growing, so grow more to be a better person every day.
21. Build a Pinterest board
Create a Pinterest board full of things you love. Define your aesthetics with good-looking and elegant objects. And, hey, no judging… since everything is beautiful, so heal.
22. Time your hydration
Breakups either make us cry or make us forget our basic needs. Put reminders to drink water, don’t just take sips. Don’t dehydrate yourself to sickness.
23. Connect with nature
Do you know about forest-bathing? Pick a tree of your choice… feel its flowing energy from the roots to the tip of the leaves. Enmesh yourself with greenery.
24. Write love letters to self
You tell your loved ones they’re precious gems. But have you ever done that for yourself? From tonight, write yourself a small appreciative note. Begin the next day reading it.
25. Immerse in quality comfort
Invite your friends, siblings, or even their children. Have a sleepover while cuddling and comforting. Enjoy sharing and getting love from everyone. Further, there’s almost no social obligation.
26. Subscribe to online motivational speakers
There are bomb badass motivational speakers out there. They can pull all the hurt from your soul and are intensely therapeutic. Scroll through some and find your one.
27. Follow motivating public images
There are many public images like actors, sportspeople, or other leaders. Follow them on Twitter or Instagram to get the best advice you’ll ever need.
28. Breakup with the dating world
A rebound relationship soon after a broken one is your worst nightmare. Take a break from dating and relax in singlehood. A few minutes’ confidence boost can’t bring happiness.
29. Heal your energy
Currently, reiki sessions are gaining popularity. If you don’t know, search it on YouTube. If you do, time to heal your energy with reiki sessions.
30. Don’t reach out to ex
“Let’s call them once and I’ll never ask for more” but it never stops and we feel $h*t. Unless you’re all healed, don’t.
31. Concentrate on your feelings
Feel appalled at your feelings? However, they’re quite natural, so validate them. Pay attention to your feelings and learn to accept them… like any other hurting human being.
32. Open your watch-later lists
Your friends suggest tons of good shows, but you bookmark and never watch them. It’s time to scroll through and pick one.
33. Vibe with the shows
Don’t watch it because someone suggested, hit up that someone. Tell them you watched it and discuss interesting parts. You’ll feel so much more absorbed into it.
34. Shed a lone tear
Whether it’s a tragic book, show, or your own feelings… cry it all out. Don’t suppress any emotion… you’re allowed to express your emotions despite gender and character.
35. Laugh at your silliness
Do something silly with that kid down the lane. Play hide and seek, tag, do something to laugh and play. Life comes once, so why give up your happiness to age?
36. Write a hate letter
Your ex hurt you deeply… possibly you screamed at them… or gulped down the bitter feelings. Now let out all the bitterness on a paper. Lastly, watch it burn into ashes.
37. Indulge in peace
Can’t feel your emotions or feeling numb? Perhaps, you muzzled your emotions? Calm down and give yourself a moment. Your emotions may ooze out from every pore soon.
38. Pleasure yourself
A breakup doesn’t mean a dry spell… not so long you take charge of your climaxes. So, get cozy and kinky with yourself and soothe your body your way.
39. Try meditating
If you feel anxious or restless, it’s important to calm down your nerves. Seek a meditation guru and set out on a new journey of peace and mindfulness.
40. Accept other’s happiness
Many people feel jealous of others’ accomplishments. However, does jealousy help you gain anything? But if you feel happy for others, positivity will spread through your life.
41. Reach out to yourself
If your friend experiences the same, you’ll reach out to them and lift their spirits. So, why don’t you do the same for yourself? Give yourself a hand.
42. Get yourself healing crystals
Buy healing crystals like moonstone, celestite, or black onyx. Touch them, and let them convert all negative emotions into positive and happy feelings.
43. Make your own gem essence tincture
In a glass of water, put the crystal, and let it bask in the sun for 5 hours. Store this water in a bottle with brandy. Use it in your bath.
44. Turnabout from depressing thoughts
Stop your trail of negative thoughts on their tracks. Don’t let them reach the dead end. Divert your mind with a physically demanding activity to feel better.
45. Sage your safe haven
Your living space is full of negative energy. Clean out the negativity with some sage smoke. Make room to develop positive energy in your room.
46. Get rid of the chaos
If you live alone, what’s chaotic in your room? Well, obviously it’s your ex’s trash, the mementos, gifts, matching cups, outfits… get rid of them ASAP.
47. Dive into an immersive hobby
Take up a hobby where you develop something more every day. It might be growing plants, knitting, pottery, or even designing clothes. Immerse in creating your masterpiece.
48. Change something about you
During your relationship, you changed yourself to fit in perfectly. But were you happy? Probably not… so, remove your unhappy parts and become the real you.
49. Try sound bathing
Are you familiar with singing bowls? It’s the main instrument of sound therapy. The vibrational energy of sound pushes out all the negative energy from your mind.
50. Tune in to favorite music
Whether you feel sad, angry, miserable, or hopeless, tune into the music. Groove with your feelings, it’s a great way to accept your feelings and turn the negativity around.
51. Build your core with a hula-hoop
Many people ditched their routine crunches and switched to hula-hooping. Other than strong core muscles, it also develops body agility and confidence.
52. Try out power yoga
Power yoga is another way to pump your blood. Build strong core muscles, boost your positive energy, shape yourself, and sleep like a baby. It’s an all-in-one solution.
53. Learn martial arts
Sometimes does your blood boil? Feel like hitting your ex in the face? Well, that’s a great reason to learn martial arts. Let it all out on a punching bag.
54. Learn to pole-dance
Did you know Cardi B worked as a stripper before she became famous? Are you mesmerized with Jennifer Lopez’s pole dancing? Try it out and be as stunning as them.
55. Go out!
Pack your bags and travel… but only to suggested destinations. Don’t try a new place… unless you’re ready to feel disappointed after spending lots of money.
56. Revamp your haven
Possibly, your ex didn’t match your aesthetics completely. Decorate your place with everything you always wanted… things that your ex didn’t allow you to have.
57. Ignite scented candles
Scented candles and incense are important objects in many religions. It calms your mind and body with the sweet aroma. Trigger your senses with the sweet smoke.
58. Learn new hairstyles
Whether you’re a girl or a boy, rocking the same hair gets boring. Pick up a YouTube video to learn all kinds of hairstyles.
59. Amp your skincare
From BTS to BlackPink, did you notice their casual look? Especially their glass skin…? Won’t ask you to implement a 10-step skin regime… but if you can, why not?
60. Don’t lose sight of career
For all the things in this world, we need money. Money won’t buy you happiness, but at least you’ll cry comfortably. So, focus on your career and achieve your goals.
61. Concentrate on saving
What do we work for? Duh~ it’s money… so, save it wisely. Once you get everything to love yourself, focus on saving the pennies. Secure your future from now on.
62. Get a statement jewelry
Whether it’s jewelry, accessories, shoes, or garments… get that statement piece. Amp up your confidence with the piece every time you’re out on a mission.
63. Visit a wellness resort
Wellness resorts are regular resorts where you stay with others. They teach mindfulness, meditation, and ways to release negativity. Feel comfortable with the bustling ambiance.
64. Get a bedroom toy
Your last sex toy still working? That’s okay, you don’t need a reason to buy a new one. What will go wrong if you use one more? More pleasure, maybe?
65. Learn a sexy language
Before you travel alone to exotic lands, it’s always better to learn their language. You can make do with translating apps, but what if… something goes off? Plus, it’s a great skill.
66. Try an exotic recipe
Remember that delish food from that restaurant? But it was quite expensive… so, try making it at home. List the ingredients from YouTube and become an A-class chef.
67. Practice tarot reading
Learn to read tarot cards… It’s a cool talent. You can kill time all by yourself and entertain others in get-togethers.
68. Indulge in tasseography
This is another lesser-known fortune-telling process. Here, instead of cards, you’ll use tea leaves, ground coffee, and wine sediments. A perfect tea-time entertainment with loved ones.
69. Get that makeover
Everyone gets a badass makeover after a breakup. They leave behind their insecurities with their long locks. But you don’t have to go that crazy, do it your way.
70. Unleash the prodigy in you
Everyone has some talent… you may call yourself clumsy in everything. But you too have some power, so find and nourish it. Make the best out of your capabilities.
71. Fake more confidence
Even if you’re far from confident, don’t let it show on your face. Pretend to be confident and someday this will become your reality.
72. Combat your fears
Are you scared of anything? Perhaps it’s a fear of height or getting lost? Then go paragliding or set out on unknown roads. Challenge your fears to overcome them.
73. Set financial goals
Possibly, your financial goal during the relationship was based on dual income. You can’t follow that anymore, so change it to something less demanding. Take time to get back on track.
74. Sign up on Tinder
If you’ve finally gotten over your sadness, time to get back on the dating app. Create a mesmerizing profile but leave something to the imagination.
75. Time your sorrows
Sometimes, crying might become a habit. So, limit your sobs to a few minutes with an alarm. When time is up, return to the regular flow of life.
76. Try solo-dating
Who said dates need two people? Book yourself a table for one or visit the amusement park or museum alone. Focus on the beauty around you all by yourself.
77. Connect with your family
Sometimes, all you need is your own blood. It might be your parents, siblings, or even their children. Be positive about what you got from your family.
78. Shower kindness
Whether it’s your friends or your ex’s new partner, be kind and gentle to everyone. Don’t let anyone’s presence ruin your mood. Take charge of your behavior.
79. Commit to your plans
When you promise to meet someone, don’t back off. Don’t allow the bad feelings to meddle with your life. Look forward to every opportunity in life.
80. Express gratitude to loved ones
Your loved ones stayed beside you through thick and thin. The least you might do is thank them. If you want more, treat them to a meal.
81. Go on road trips with friends
There’s always some movie where friends go on road trips. They make perfect memories to rejuvenate their thirst for life. So, what’s stopping you from living this dream?
82. Connect with your coworkers
Does someone in the office have impressive track records? Reach out to them during breaks and learn a few things. Don’t forget to praise their achievements.
83. Avoid crying on loop
Always reach out to others when you remember old times… but, your life doesn’t revolve around your ex. So, don’t make it a habit of repeating the same sob story.
84. Know others’ breakup stories
It’s not just about you, everyone had a bad breakup. So, know others’ struggles and learn from their mistakes. Remember, you aren’t alone in this fight.
85. Empathize with others
The other person might break down while sharing their story. Console and remind them they’re strong. Rather, support anyone who goes through difficult situations.
86. Reconnect with old friends
Perhaps you lost touch with your middle-school best friends? Find them on social media and have a hearty exchange. Don’t trouble them with your heavy emotions right away.
87. Indulge in harmless flirting
Is there anybody around for casual flirting? If not, then flirt with your Tinder date. But, if you’re not serious about them, refrain. Flirt only with someone that interests you.
88. Feed some birds
Bird-watching is a great underrated activity. Go somewhere where birds gather, feed them, take stills or videos. Indulge in the quiet natural environment.
89. Ask out some intriguing acquaintances
If you have interesting people around you, seek them. No need to date them, rather indulge in an intellectual chat. Make new friends based on different aspects.
90. Learn astrology
This one isn’t easy so concentrate more if you study it. Familiarize yourself with the birth chart. Learn how astrologers make matches and have fun like it’s a game.
91. Seek others’ birth times
Once you master astrology, take others’ info and practice. If you’re ready and have someone in mind, ask their birth info too. Know well before leaping in.
92. Make every hug memorable
Whether it’s an animal, a child, family, friends or crush… hug them tighter than usual. Embrace others’ warmth and refresh your mind.
93. Kiss them if you like
Are you seeing someone? Well, when you have a crush on someone, kiss them. Welcome yourself to the dating world with this kiss.
94. Practice a confident smile
Smile confidently even to strangers. You’ll stay on their mind like “Do I know them?” and distract them from their misery. Also, what goes around comes around.
95. Avoid connections with exes
Even if you’re emotionally ready, you might not get a date immediately. Some people catch up with other exes to fill the void. Don’t be one of them.
96. Capture friends’ love
Ask your friends to compare you to your ex. Hear how you’re so much better. Record/video their rambles consensually and when you feel down, listen to it.
97. Dig out about your lineage
Probably, you lost touch with your roots during the fiasco. If you lose your sense of individuality, go lineage hunting. Connect with your ancestors and learn interesting things.
98. Befriend other generations
Whether it’s your parent’s or your nephew’s generation… All of them have valuable teachings. Yep, even the kids can enlighten your life. So, don’t judge them for their age.
99. Overwrite special site memories
In some locations, did you make special memories with your ex? Can’t visit them anymore? Visit them with a friend and overwrite them with new memories aka exposure therapy.
100. Go out in the dating world
Begin a serious search for a long-term relationship. However, if you don’t want that kind of relationship, that’s fine. Start dating on your terms with good boundaries.
101. Believe in time
Time heals all the wounds in life. So, have faith and continue with a good routine. Pick everything you liked from this list and begin a new journey.
But if it still doesn’t work, time to get serious. Know your next step here…
When should you seek professional help?
When none of the tips work out or want a second opinion just in case… seek a mental health therapist. But there are some pressing moments when you must rush for help. Seek quick help if you…
- Feel depressed or anxious
- Have self-harming thoughts
- Want to harm someone else, like an ex or their new partner
- Constantly want to contact your ex
- Rely on bad coping mechanisms
- Want to overcome relationship traumas
- Want to overcome the negative thoughts
- Feel unsafe or scared
- Stop functioning normally in daily life
- Want help in moving on
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
You might need more time to heal from a breakup, than a bone fracture. You might hate this fact, but that doesn’t change it. In fact, sometimes you might even redirect that hate to yourself.
However, that hurts you more than healing. As a result, you need more time to heal. Don’t pick on the wounds, else the recovery might delay. Let your wounds be, soothe them and go easy on your heart.
Reach out to loved ones, do something new every day. Fight boredom as if your life depends on it. With time, you’ll get over it. But if it becomes too much, don’t shy away from asking for help.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...