If he left you hanging and you direly want to get back, I’ll tell you how to get him back.
You are of course struggling with sleepless nights and a broken heart.
Don’t worry, now that I’m here, it’ll only take you a couple of days to transform this mournful period into happy days.
You fall in love and start dating this guy, you start to feel good, and want to marry him. All of a sudden he doesn’t love you anymore. You traveled a toxic journey and now, you need a break.
Take a break for a week or and then make up your mind –
Do you want to end things on good terms? Or, do you want to win your man back?
If it’s the latter, I am at your service ma’am!
So, sit tight because I’ll teach you…
Summary in Infographics
How to get him back? – 30 Definite Ways
So, what if you fell in love and he didn’t love you back?
These breakdowns are a part of your life and you must learn to deal with them instead of acting jealous or hopeless if he found someone else.
You already wasted a lot of time and tears lamenting for him and we can’t delay this any further!
So, let’s cut to the chase and start planning on how to win him back.
1. Face the breakdown
Handling the break-up is an important aspect of the strategy.
If you cried, threatened him of committing suicide, got violent, or pretty much caused a scene, you simply ruined your chances at getting him back.
Most importantly, you forgot your worth.
Instead, act like the breakup doesn’t concern you much, as if it is no big deal.
He might think that he has figured you out completely.
But you’ll throw him under the bus with your nonchalant attitude towards the entire situation and catch him off guard.
You’ll need some pretending, but you can pull it off. After all, you want him back, right?
2. Keep your phone at bay
Don’t call immediately after the breakup. You’ll reek of desperation, loneliness, neediness, and crawling.
But at the same time don’t wait for too long, expecting that he’ll call you first.
This will also give him enough time and space to learn to live without you… and you definitely don’t want that.
Remember, people are very routine-oriented and your ex-lover is bound to miss you, after a week or two of the breakup.
Even if he has found another girlfriend, he’ll still crave the comfort he shared with you. It is natural to miss a routine. Isn’t it? Aren’t you missing the good-ol’ days… then why won’t he?
Mark the days in the calendar, to make phone calls not more than once in a month.
Keep it short, don’t make him feel you’re STILL available for him. Talk confidently and positively.
3. Call him for a catch-up!
Ask your ex casually for a meet-up. Make sure that you look nice but do not overdo anything.
Dress normally, make efforts on your hair and appearance but do not pick a new outfit or an entirely new look, He’ll think that you’ve made some significant efforts to impress him.
The keyword here is “cool.” You have to play it cool.
So, be a little late than expected. Pretend as if you are super busy and have a huge to-do list, so you won’t be there with him for long.
Do not be over-excited to see your ex, but do not seem gloomy as well. Remember, confidence is a must when it comes to getting back to your ex.
This post-breakup date serves two purposes. Firstly, this will show your ex that you didn’t stop enjoying your life in his absence.
Secondly, he will see the new and confident you.
Back then, he loved you and would move mountains to be with you. So, you certainly have something he admires.
Those traits are still there, you just need to brush it up for him to notice. Make him crave you back because only you have the power to do it.
4. Avoid, Ignore & Hide!
For the first couple of days after the split-up, completely stay out of his reach.
Avoid places he frequently visits, and don’t try to catch up with mutual friends. He mustn’t get any updates about your life.
The basic idea behind this no contact rule is that, when he won’t have access to your life, he’ll get more curious to know about you, and your whereabouts. Blocking him on your social media is not enough.
Even though they say “Out of sight, out of mind” it doesn’t necessarily work like that.
Infact, if you stay out of his sight, you’ll probably stay more on his mind. He’ll not be able to control the urge, and finally text or call you out of curiosity.
But, no need to receive or respond. Instead, take this period of time to heal yourself, and think about how you want to proceed further.
5. Don’t cry, baby! Good days are close.
Don’t waste all your time crying and mourning about the break up. Let it all go for some days and focus on improving yourself.
Do things that you weren’t able to do in a loving relationship. Plan trips, go out, have fun. Try to live your life to the fullest.
Sitting in your room alone and thinking about him all day, won’t bring him back. So, rather, focus on what your next steps are.
The more you let loose your emotions and wet your pillows at night, you’ll feel extremely hollow inside.
If you keep thinking about him, you’ll traumatize and cage yourself in the suffocating darkness.
You don’t deserve this pain, honey. You’re blessed to be you and we are blessed to have you in this world.
So just get over those unwanted thoughts and feelings.
6. Get back to work
What about engrossing yourself in work and being extra productive? That earns you more confidence definitely sounds like a good idea!
Get back to your work, and complete your pending projects. Prioritize yourself, put yourself first. Do everything just for yourself.
Learn how to be happy in your own company. I know it’s easier said than done but, at least you can give it a shot, right?
What if the sole reason for your breakup was that you only focused on him, and his needs and lost yourself in the transition?
So, work on yourself. Your newly-found self-confidence might attract him to get back to you.
7. Cheers to self-love
While most of us idealize people who set examples of self-love, very few try to incorporate it in their waking life. Your love life mustn’t only be all about him.
What’s wrong with falling in love with yourself?
More self-love is equal to prioritizing yourself first, which in turn saves you from the feeling of loneliness, distress, rejection, and inferiority.
Self-love is not all about the grooming and pampering sessions, rather it’s about focusing on yourself and making yourself feel beautiful from within.
Don’t fear staying alone and spare some time with yourself.
Go on girl, look at yourself in the mirror, be proud of who you are and how you look, set new beauty goals, and achieve them right away!
I assure you, you’ll not regret it, instead, he will!
8. Silly beggars are losers!
If you are going through a breakup and want your guy to get back to you, don’t beg him to return. It won’t work no matter what.
If you continuously plead or implore him, this will instead irritate the hell out of him. Your begging will assure him of the fact that you can’t live without him.
This might bring him back, but it won’t work for long. He’ll dominate you and will think that he has complete control over you.
So, don’t act needy at all. Don’t let him control you emotionally.
And, what if this is the only reason he left you? Well, then you invested yourself in the relationship in not-so-good ways.
If you need him for everything and don’t have your own stand in the relationship, take this time to build patience and find your ground again.
9. Text him, but smartly
As I’ve already told you about the no contact rule, use it at least for 2-3 months. After that, once things start getting back, you can randomly text your ex.
Yes, you heard me right. You can.
But that doesn’t mean, you can directly text him about coming back.
The text should be simple, like ” Hey! How are you doing? Maybe you were right, it’s better to be friends with you, rather than in a relationship.”
This will make him think that you’ve moved on, and you’re happier without him. And, thus, he’ll try to reach out to you.
When he’ll find out that other guys are trying to sweep you off your feet, he’ll feel a lil jealous.
But this time, he is feeling jealous not because you did something intentionally but because he genuinely regrets losing you.
It is a smarter and natural process. This is when he’ll realize your worth, and also make efforts to make things right.
10. A nagging girlfriend is liked by none!
Break-ups hurt, but what hurts more is when you can’t get over them. But you can’t expect yourself to get over them, in one night, right?
If you seriously want them back, you need to first stop bothering him at all. That’s why I said, a nagging girlfriend is liked by none!
A few days after the breakup you must give him some space. You both will get time to think clearly about your future ahead.
He must not get even a glimpse of your life. This will make him think that you’re happy and satisfied.
He will eventually start missing the attention like before and might reach out to you.
11. Hold on babe! Take your time.
You need to have a strong grip on your desperation. Don’t act needy and desperate.
I know breakups are tough to deal with. So you must always be there for yourself, physically as well as emotionally, even if nobody does.
Your desperation for him will make him gain full control over you. It’ll assure him that you’ll be there for him, and he can get back to you whenever he wants.
This will make him feel confident.
Think logically even if you’re distressed. Don’t let anyone else take control of the situation. Handle it yourself, and yes you’ll be able to.
Long story short, hold onto your desperate chasing and take time to accept whatever time has brought to you.
More on this later… but that is just going to make you stronger!
12. Let him chase you again
Work on the issues that drifted you both apart in the first place. Try to resolve them.
If you’ve tried to do it before and have failed miserably, go with some new technique this time. This is just to improve your chances.
Maybe there was something from your end, a mistake that you continuously repeated, without even realizing. Search for that instead of blaming everything on him.
He already is attracted to you. So, you don’t need to work on your looks. He’ll come back running, once he’s sure that situations have changed for the better.
I repeat, I am not asking you to change your personality. All I am asking is for you to make a serious effort and improve on your blind spots or weaknesses.
13. Don’t waste your efforts in making him jealous
Dating other guys or flirting with other men to make him jealous is A VERY BAD IDEA.
He is not that dumb and understands that you did it to make him jealous, right? This age-old trick doesn’t work any longer, darling.
This will be a very immature trick to play. Better if you will stay silent and calm, don’t make any moves, and watch him get impatient.
Just pretend that you’re enjoying your life and the breakup didn’t make a lot of difference to you, even if you’re single.
You don’t need a man to relish all the good things in life. You’re enough for yourself.
14. So what if they’re dating someone?
If you get news that your ex is already dating someone, don’t react at all. Even though your heart aches and it’s unbearable, play it cool.
If you react, it will make him think that he still has control over you… and he may never come back unless he’s bored.
Don’t give him the assurance he needs… Act cool, as if you don’t care.
If he was in a serious relationship with you, this is just a fling for him, to help him move on. So, don’t worry about this much.
If you show jealousy, you will receive the exact opposite response to what you want.
Now, I must also let you in on the other side of the story: I think you should just get over him if he has truly found his forever match.
You too have a life of your own, a journey to begin, and you’re gonna find someone who relishes your presence in their life.
15. Focus on what both of you want
Now that you really want him back with all the love and cuddles, it’s really important to figure out what you exactly want from your relationship. It cannot be an aimless goal.
Compare your expectations from his expectations and see what both of you have in common.
Now identify, what are the things that you must work upon? What areas require further improvements?
It might be something as simple as being open to sports activities on holiday vacations, being respectful towards each other, spending time together, expressing your emotions in a better way, and anything that makes your company special!
I’m sure these derivations will direct your relationship towards a more optimistic goal, where both of you can think constructively.
16. Consider his expectations
When you are done exploring the common requirements and expectations from your relationship, it is time to focus on your partner’s requirements.
You need to understand his way of perceiving things.
What are his needs? What does he really want in the relationship?
It’s not just sex all the time. People often misunderstand men for their lustful side in relationships. But trust me, they also want a lot more than just sex.
They want to feel more confident and be a ‘hero’ when they’re around you. They want you to be dependent on them for little things.
Men want more than just a simple relationship. If they held back from investing completely into you, this might be because you didn’t yet trigger his savior instinct yet.
So, try to make these things right, rather than repeating the same mistakes again. This will eventually lead him back to you.
17. Brush away the bitterness!
Do you want to push him away forever? If not, then don’t do anything out of bitterness and irritation.
Usually, after a breakup, we can’t make rational decisions, as our distressing emotions are all over the place.
But, if you really want him back, try to calm yourself before taking any step further, and think sensibly. If you try to hurt him, because he was wrong, he will only drift apart from you.
You might do this thinking that he’ll realize his mistake and apologize to you. But the results will be just the opposite. And you’re certainly going to regret it later.
The best way to understand this is to keep yourself in his position and check how you will feel if the other one is trying to be revengeful.
It will fill you with guilt and you will naturally try to avoid him or cut all ties with him? Do you want the same? Absolutely NO!
So, don’t listen to your instincts or friends who’re suggesting you to be nasty to him, because this will muck things up, and surely drive him away from you.
18. Let not a bottle of wine ruin your plans
Let me tell you one thing straight: never drunk call or text anyone, especially your ex-boyfriend. It’ll probably be the worst thing you’ll ever do.
This will ruin the image you created so far and will surely make you look unappealing.
That smudgy eyeliner, and your heels in your hands. Ugh, can’t even imagine how awful that’ll look.
You don’t want to come up with anything that throws you off your balance or out of control.
After a bottle of wine, you’ll definitely can’t be in control of your emotions and might say things that you don’t even mean.
So, it’s better not to call or text him, when you’re tipsy. If you still do it, it will only reflect your desperation and anguish.
19. What went wrong in the relationship?
If you feel sad without him, instead of lamenting, look for the causes that resulted in this breakup. Make a list of these reasons and think whether you are willing to work on them, or not.
Listen, honey, I’m not asking you to ponder over these thoughts more than required.
Don’t ever burden yourself with these calculations. It is only when your life starts to make sense again, you can analyze the past incidents.
Find the solutions to these complications, discuss them with your ex, ask him if he wants to resolve the issues, and give this relationship a second shot.
Even if you were at fault in some aspects of your life, own it, rather than trying to prove yourself right. This will only be a bonus in the process of winning him back.
20. Sass up, hottie!
After the breakup, don’t confine yourself within the four walls of your room.
Instead, dress up like a goddess and show up on a Saturday eve. You might have some special features which he always pointed out as flaws.
But darling, trust me you look the most beautiful if only you know how to carry those flaws with confidence.
Let’s take it this way, do you think that the girls who have a flawless face and an hourglass figure look like a queen at all times? No, absolutely not!
So, wear a stylish dress, pair it with dazzling jewelry and shoes. Get a new haircut. Take your time, invest in skincare and body shaping.
The next time you know you’ll see him, doll up and tease him, sweetheart!
That’ll make him remember the early days of the relationship. He’ll realize what he lost and nostalgia might hit him. Take it in writing, you’ll receive a text tonight.
21. Confession is Good for the Soul
Communication is the key to any healthy relationship. You might hear that from time to time, as it is a fact indeed.
You can’t play the blame game every time… you’re not a thirteen-year-old anymore. Accept your flaws, take responsibility for wherever you’re wrong.
You can’t blame him and only him. He won’t reach out to you again if you blame him for more than what he actually did.
Talk with him after you both feel comfortable enough, and see if things can be solved. But don’t try to convince him of something that he isn’t willing to do.
22. Emotions run the show
Now, if you want to get him back, you need to influence him emotionally, reasoning won’t work here.
Don’t try to persuade him with words, rather show him why he should be back with you.
If your relationship lasted for a long term, then he still has feelings for you. You just need to make him aware of it. Convince him with your revised actions, and make the second chance irresistible.
Show him what he wants to see. Picture a perfect relationship, so that he desires for it. Change the way he thinks about you.
Long story short, make a serious effort to work on all the complaints that led to this harsh decision.
23. Show him your beautiful heart
When you spend a long time with one person, they forget your worth or value as a human.
People absorb themselves so much in what they want that they overlook what they have. They neglect the pure soul and the golden heart that you own.
This is also possible in your case. He probably forgot what a wonderful person you are at heart.
Girl, it’s a great time to remind him about the same. He knows it pretty well that habits and physical beauty are temporary. Only your heart can convince him the best to make a comeback in your life.
Once he returns to you after recognizing your pretty soul and not your body or your possessions, the knot will be everlasting.
24. Not the same old talking style
A confident body language or stylish clothes alone won’t help you. You’ll ruin all this if you open your mouth to talk in the same melancholic tune which depicts your longing for him.
Yeah, this step might take you a little bit of pretending but don’t mind that. You’ll do it for a better cause!
In fact, this is a personality upgrade that you can carry forward.
Make sure your voice and your accent don’t mirror the pain inside your heart. All you need is a little bit of sexiness and a lot of confidence while talking to him. The magic lies there!
25. Don’t upload love and separation quotes
Hey girl, never ever think of this even in the worst of your dreams. This is something I’ll never promote.
Your stories and status must never be about how you feel inside, it must be about what you do in the outside world.
Fill your social media with lots of activities that you’ve been doing lately. Visiting new places, meeting new people, having fun all over, and living a life of your own.
If you choose to upload sad quotes, you’ll not only hint him about your suffering but also spread negativity across your social media following.
You will look like a needy person who wants him back NO MATTER WHAT. By now you know, this is not gonna help you in that, right?
26. Ask him about his family
Even if you are not truly attached to his family members, it is always good to ask him about his and his family’s well-being.
Ask him genuine questions to show that you’re really concerned about his life in a positive way.
Also, make sure you have a good control on your tone as it must not look like you care too much about his life.
Ask him questions like:
“How is your health? Take care of yourself.”, “How about aunty and uncle?”, “What is your sister doing? Is she alright now?”
And a very important one if he owns a pet:
“How is your pet? Can you show me a picture of your family members and your pet?” Make some genuine statements like: “I really miss them you know!”
I’m warning you again, keep your accent very light-hearted.
Your statements and questions are genuine enough to hit the correct sentiments. Don’t ruin it with a begging accent.
27. Show interest in his hobbies
Guys value this quality a lot. Show him that you possess something which most girls lack.
You can be a partner in his fun activities and hobbies. You can find happiness in all kinds of situations, together with him. Let him know that you love him, in all his forms.
He can be perfectly comfortable and real around you and does not need to pretend anything.
Show him that you love it when he engages himself in his hobbies and enjoys them thoroughly. Trust me, he’ll miss you madly after this.
28. Relive your memories
If both of you were in a live-in and you shared a common room, it is best to relive those corners and moments together.
In this case, take him to places where you spent some lovely dates and quality time together.
It might be a restaurant where both of you fed each other, or you did something special for him.
Remind him of how blessed he was to have you. Even if there were some arguments and disputes, show that you regret your behavior.
After all, it’s not a big deal to just apologize for rude behavior.
Let him indulge in those flashbacks and yearn for your love once again.
29. Choose a specific time to go online
No, you can’t stay online 24×7. Or else, he’ll get the wrong signals.
Don’t wait for his text messages and be mindful of your activities on social media.
Choose specific times when you can go online and if you notice him online on those timings, he clearly wants to talk to you.
Wait and watch if he initiates a chat himself. But if he does not, just leave… and text every once in a while.
This particular habit will help you balance your image. You will not look like you’re dying to talk to him. It will show that you live a routine life and he might lose you forever…
At the same time, you are going to get a chance to talk to him or even get him back in your life.
You might not find it easy to adapt to the above-mentioned points. Give yourself time. Healing is not an overnight process, nor can you win him back in one day.
But once you are done with those tricks, there’s a final step that you must follow: Accept what life has brought to you.
Yes, you heard me right. Trust me, girl, this method works like magic. Have faith in the law of nature, in God, and in your intentions.
Don’t reach out to him for an explanation about the breakup. Remember, you don’t want to look needy.
If you ask him for the reason or explanation, you may give off a feeling that you cannot live all by yourself. He’ll think you lost your confidence and you need him back.
Know that everything happens for a good cause. If he is the right person for you, you’ll get him back. If not, then you will find a better match.
Acceptance is very important. Until and unless you start accepting the unpleasant circumstances of your life, you won’t be able to find favorable and pleasant ones.
However, if you followed everything here, and he still didn’t return, then read…
What should I do if he doesn’t come back?
You know I’ll repeat the same old advice. If he doesn’t come back, then know that you will find someone better – You will meet someone new and more worthy.
Don’t blame yourself for this condition. You tried your best yet if you didn’t earn his love back, it’s because the universe has better plans for you.
Obviously, he didn’t return because he didn’t love you. You’ll do much better without a loveless relationship with a toxic person, sweetheart.
If things are ending on good terms, let them end well.
What people don’t understand is that it’s not a person who leaves you, it is you who leaves yourself.
Honey, be your own best friend and live the confident and happy life that you deserve.
One day, you’ll surely meet your prince charming so until then work on yourself… but this time take extra precautions before you make a final choice.
But if you’re lucky enough to get him back…
Yayyyy, He Came Back – what’s next?
If he starts talking to you all over again and you both are back on the same page, that’s definitely good news! Cheers to your new (second) life baby!
Probably this time you will find yourself in a more loving relationship than the previous one. Hopefully, he’ll value you. This time it will be more fulfilling than the last time.
However, you must never compromise with your worth and choices.
By all means, do everything to please your man, and make him feel blessed but don’t sacrifice your own happiness.
Make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes.
Above all, don’t be scared of losing your love. This time if he chooses to leave, know that it is the end, once and for all!
You are a strong woman now and you can begin the journey right from the start.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Whether or not you get him back in your life, what matters is that at the end of the day, you go to bed feeling like a stronger version of your past self.
“Men will come and men will go but life goes on forever“… swear by this sentence and keep moving strongly through the struggles of your life.
Your setbacks are a part of your growth as you learn to cope with diverse difficulties.
How you choose to deal with your life situations completely depends on you – there’s no right or wrong to it.
Wish you all the best and may you be victorious in winning yourself back, irrespective of the loss and gains of your life!
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...