So, you’re looking for some sure-fire signs your marriage is over…
Do you feel that a relationship that was supposed to be a lifetime has reached a dead end?
I’m so pained that you feel this way. The thought of failing marriages brings out the worst feelings. But if you have marital problems, in the long run, it may also affect your mental health.
Don’t worry, if you want to stay married and save your marriage, I’ll help you pick the weeds from your marriage. Relationship experts swear on spending time with your partner for this.
Married couples will certainly have day-to-day arguments. However, be careful that you don’t feel like quitting the marriage.
To make your marriage a success, watch out for the red flags in your relationship. So, if you are wondering what these signs are, keep reading…
Signs your Marriage is Over
You probably overlook the small signs when your marriage slowly worsens. It doesn’t always begin with a fashionably huge fight.
It’s when your feelings begin to change bit by bit. However, one small change doesn’t declare your marriage’s demise. It happens only when you meet multiple signs over here…
1. Your individual life catches the spotlight
You are married and must behave like a married person. You know what the statement means.
However, sometimes despite being married, you feel happy imagining yourself single. That is the turning point of the end.
If you indulge more in individual life and explore single locations and habits… deep inside you know you want the single life.
This sign implies you seek an escape from your married life, and it is time to call it quits.
2. Thoughts of your spouse cheating on you doesn’t trouble you
We often imagine situations that might not even happen. But such visualizations tell us a lot about ourselves.
The same is true when it comes to married life. You might visualize your spouse with someone else in a romantic way.
The harm begins when such visualizations no longer hurt you. If you are quite normal about your spouse spending a happy life with someone else… That’s the sign.
It clearly indicates you two are mere roommates and no longer have a room for them in your heart… It is time to move on.
3. They have no space in your future plans
You are married and moving forward in your life towards a future. However, you do not think of or find your spouse in those future plans.
Most couples naturally have different opinions regarding their future. You can adjust things as time proceeds and as long as you are together.
However, if you think that only singlehood can give wings to your future plans, you know there is something wrong. Your marriage probably cannot stand the test of time anymore.
4. Sex isn’t fun anymore.
Physical intimacy is not the only thing that makes a marriage work. But it is definitely a supporting factor as love leads to intimacy and sex.
However, if you go months and years without sex, understand that you’re no longer sexually attracted to your partner.
Such diminishing intimacy leads you to others for sexual satisfaction. Eventually, this can be the stopping point for your marriage. So, sex definitely defines where your marriage stands.
5. There’s too much splurging without approval
Financial imbalance in your married life is also a major contributor to a sabotaged marriage.
Financial issues might arise when you make major money moves without your spouse’s knowledge.
You’re free to spend money on expensive items or have separate bank accounts.
However, if it makes a major difference in your treasury and it does not involve your significant other’s approval, it might be a deteriorating move.
6. You daydream about cheating on your partner
Cheating in marriage is an absolute dealbreaker. There are discrepancies and issues in every marriage but they don’t all resort to cheating. They eventually sort things out.
But if it is not the case with your marriage… and you have constant and repetitive thoughts about cheating on your partner, it is time to rethink your marriage.
Even though you didn’t actually cheat yet, your thoughts might lead you to commit it at some point in time.
7. This marriage isn’t your emotional investment hub
Not only physical relationships with others are considered cheating, but also emotional affairs.
In emotional affairs, you might be entangled with someone emotionally and do not want your partner to notice that.
This might eventually persuade you to cheat on your partner. So, if you find comfort elsewhere, you know there’s something seriously off in your marriage.
8. Your life goals do not involve them
Your goals decide what kind of a person you want to be in the future. Naturally, your goals must include your spouse if you are committed to the marriage.
However, if it is not the case with you and you visualize a change of goals and plans without your spouse, it’s a red flag for your marriage.
If the goals and desires of you two are not on the same page, your marriage might end sooner or later.
9. Child planning is a difficult topic in your marriage
Children are the supporting points of a healthy marriage. The couple decides if they want children sooner or later in the marriage… or not want at all. There’s no right or wrong about this decision, it’s a personal choice.
However, if the thoughts and opinions of you and your partner do not match, it is more likely that your marriage might end soon. There is no rocket science behind it.
Either of you might even want to escape the marriage if your plans about children don’t align.
10. There’s no effort to fix the marriage
Marriages are never perfect, and even if it is, a hidden volcano is waiting to explode.
Your marriage may have ups and downs and that’s okay. It indicates that your marriage is actually working, and you are making efforts to fix it.
However, if you have given up every bit of hope to fix your marriage and are too reluctant to do the same, there is definitely no way back into your marriage. So, rethink the idea of fixing your marriage.
11. Space is just your excuse to avoid together time
If you are in a healthy marriage, you’ll love spending time with your partner. Lovey-dovey couples steal time from their busy lives to be with each other.
However, if you want to spend some alone time, that’s no big issue.
The problem starts when you find excuses to stay away from your partner in the name of space.
Clearly, you cannot bear staying around your partner. So how will you sustain the marriage?
12. Someone tries to avoid marriage therapy
Therapy is a step towards fixing your marriage. The moment you find discrepancies in your marriage, you must opt for couple’s therapy.
However, if either of you is reluctant to attend therapy, it is a sign that one of you or both do not want to fix the marriage at all.
What can be a clearer red flag than this? You know your marriage needs therapy and yet deny it. There are high chances that your marriage won’t be fit for therapy after some time.
13. Compromises are out of the question
Marriage works on compromises and adjustments. A healthy marriage does not mean it is free of compromises or adjustments.
It simply means that the couple is ready to go to any heights for making their marriage work, even with multiple compromises.
However, if you are completely unwilling and reluctant to compromise, that’s a clear sign. You are no longer interested in making your marriage work.
14. Divorce threats are your to-go conclusion for every fight
Fights and arguments are parts of a marriage and it’s normal. However, the conclusion of such fights is not necessarily a divorce.
If you and your partner conclude every small or big fight with a decision to divorce, you already know your marriage does not stand a chance.
Your partner’s small nuisances annoy you and you can’t wait to get your hands on the divorce papers.
This way, you’ll soon sign a divorce and realize your dream of living alone.
15. There’s too much contempt towards them
Contempt is a negative behavior, no matter how you express it or who you use it for.
Contempt or disregard towards your spouse is a clear sign of not only an unhealthy but an almost ended marriage.
When you express contempt, you try to show your partner you are better than them. You do not care about their perspective at all.
Every time you roll an eye or scoff before your partner, you break your marriage apart bit by bit.
16. Listening to their issues is just a pain in the a$$
Remember the time when your spouse’s slightest issues and problems bothered you to wits? Why do you feel a change now?
Listening to and helping each other solve problems is the strength of a marriage.
But if you no longer bother about hearing your partner’s issues and avoid the personal baggage unloading episode, rethink where your marriage proceeds.
Something is definitely wrong if you are no longer interested in your spouse’s worries.
17. They’re no longer your confidante
Marriage isn’t the place to air your dirty laundry all the time and keep no secrets from them.
Having a personal space does not hurt. But when you start keeping secrets regarding anything that involves you both, your marriage might be in danger.
Secrets concerning your marriage, such as revisiting your ex, huge debt issues, and future plans without your spouse, are the breaking points of your marriage.
So, if you are being excessively secretive, your married days might be numbered.
18. You’re least concerned about your marriage advice
Your friends, family, and inner circle might give you marriage advice when they notice changes in your marriage. They might have good intentions towards fixing your marriage.
Couples in healthy relationships take advice positively and use it to fix their marriage.
But if you are too reluctant to hear solutions or advice regarding your marriage, even if it comes from your spouse, you are completely out of the marriage.
You just do not realize it yet, but you will, sooner or later.
19. You always shower destructive criticism
You cannot push out fights and arguments completely out of your marriage. Things happen, and people fight.
Fighting does not mean you have to criticize your partner all the time or remind them about the mistakes they made years ago.
However, if you cannot refrain from criticizing each other, even in small fights or arguments, your marriage is doomed and is soon to face the end.
Fights turned into personal critiques will also destroy your marriage personally.
20. Everything leads to full-blown fights
When bickering often takes over a relationship… you both argue over tiny matters. There is hardly anything wrong with it.
However, your love and compassion for one another start to diminish… when a mere talking episode with your partner turns into a fight.
It is like you cannot talk without fighting with each other. It indicates some serious issues in your marriage that might be its downfall.
So next time you talk, notice if you are actually talking or fighting.
21. There’s no argument at all
People argue to let out things and fix them. They’re intimate with each other about their feelings.
While too much argument is not a part of a healthy marriage, not arguing at all is not either.
If you stopped arguing with your partner over smaller or bigger issues, it is a clear indication. You already know you are knocking on a wall.
Things are far from changing between you and your partner. It is more like you no longer want to fight to fix your relationship.
22. Nobody apologizes after committing mistakes
Couples fight and argue but they apologize too. As you admit your faults and try to be better next time through apologies, your relationship becomes stronger.
It does not mean it’s alright to fight like cats and dogs and apologize as if nothing happened.
However, if there is no sign of apology in your relationship… or you no longer care how your partner feels about you after a fight… you have already checked out of your marriage long before.
You no longer want to change things with your partner.
23. Sharing problems with one another is a distant memory
Partners share their problems with each other and suggest solutions. You too did it once and ran with your problems straightaway to your partner.
However, if you no longer feel like sharing your problems with your partner… there might be many reasons behind it.
Either you feel your partner won’t even care about your problems or won’t be able to do anything about them.
Whatever may be the case, it simply increases your risk of having emotional affairs. This might be a major setback for your marriage.
24. The respect quotient in the marriage is decreasing
Undeniably, respect is the most important aspect of a healthy relationship. Before loving your partner, you must know how to respect them.
But if you are no longer concerned about respecting them, their opinions, or decisions… you don’t care about them anymore, let alone your marriage.
You do not see your partner as worthy of your respect.
Sometimes, you might often joke about sensitive things related to them, like their income or body, and that might not even hurt you a bit. It is definitely not a good sign regarding your marriage.
25. The two of you have nothing in common anymore
You found similar interests and many things common between you and your partner. Wasn’t it something that led you towards marrying them in the first place?
But if you guys changed so much that there’s nothing in common, then it is a major breakdown in your marriage.
Moreover, things that your partner had in common might be just a way to pretend or woo you in the first place. It’s a trick!
26. Their talks aren’t worth paying attention anymore
Giving and receiving proper attention to and from each other is vital for couples to survive in marriage.
But if you or your partner would rather scroll through cell phones, social media, and unnecessary things than give attention to each other… It is a clear sign of lost interest in each other.
Though marriage isn’t only about attending to your partner all the time, it definitely requires each other’s undivided attention sometimes.
But if it is totally nil in your case, you must take it as a red flag.
27. You feel drained in the relationship.
Didn’t your partner make you feel relaxed once, and your marriage cheered you?
However, when your marriage is on the verge of ending, you feel drained from your relationship and your partner all the time.
You cannot even bear talking or arguing with them, let alone spending time with them.
If you find yourself in constant exhaustion, every time you are around your partner or think of your relationship, you should realize that you are already tired of your marriage.
28. Winning matters the most
If your marriage is a big game where you put effort to win every argument rather than resolving them, there is a serious issue with your relationship.
It shows that you both want the upper hand rather than a connection in the relationship. Fighting is normal to some extent in a relationship.
However, when it becomes all about pointing fingers and blaming each other, there is no way back to resolving things in your marriage.
29. You push their buttons intentionally
If you constantly provoke your partner and test the limits of your marriage, you already want it to end. Why will you try to push the threshold of your marriage otherwise?
For instance, intentionally making mistakes when you know it might set fire to your marriage is a clear indication.
You no longer care where it heads to and just play around with it. It is not your teddy bear, dear!
Divorces are real and if you keep on with your provoking game, it will soon happen to you too.
30. You’re scared to show your vulnerabilities
Showing off your real self is the most important part of life. The same is true for your marriage. You must be real and yourself, no matter how hard the situation gets.
However, things might be intensely wrong in your marriage if you need to hide your vulnerable and real self before your partner.
It shows you are afraid of what they think about you. Hence, you stay in a marriage wearing a mask that shows the unreal ‘you’… just to avoid the chances of rejection.
31. Your social media is full of illusions
Many couples talk about their relationship or display their marriage over social media… It’s natural.
However, things start to fall apart when it no longer stays normal, and you feel the need to overcompensate about your marriage on social media.
It is simply a poor attempt at hiding your relationship flaws and the bitter truth that your marriage is falling apart.
You do not want anyone to notice the disturbances in your marriage and start overcompensating with lovey-dovey pictures and quotes… even if it hardly fixes things in your marriage.
32. Self-doubt tiptoed in your heart
Marriage and your partner must raise your self-esteem and not lead you to doubt yourself.
Self-doubts and low self-esteem enter marriage when your partner constantly blames you for even the slightest mistakes.
You believe something is wrong with you, and you are incapable of fulfilling their expectations.
These self-doubts invade other aspects of your life, such as social life, job, family, etc., besides your marriage.
Soon there might be a time when you’ll no longer stand such feelings and end your marriage altogether.
33. There’s abuse and domestic violence
Fights and arguments are still acceptable to some extent in a marriage. However, domestic violence is an altogether stopping point for marriages in most cases.
Domestic violence in any form, whether sexual, physical, or psychological, is a sign you must get out of your marriage as soon as possible.
No matter how bad the situation in a marriage gets, domestic violence or abuse is not an option. If it begins once, it is doomed to follow sooner or later.
So, if you cannot watch someone else living in a marriage with domestic violence, you too must not.
34. You always talk behind their back
Talking about the negative sides of your partner with your friends or family is not harmful. Almost everyone does it in their gossip episodes.
However, talking trash about your partner the moment they leave your side at every chance you get is a negative sign for your marriage.
It is a disrespectful act towards your partner and marriage when you take a dig at it every now and then. You become a complaint box where you might end up burying your relationship.
35. They’re no longer your support system
A while ago, your partner was your first cheerleader. They supported you in your ups and downs. However, if they don’t support you anymore, even in the slightest matters, realize that your marriage is on the verge of ending.
Your partner’s unsupportive behavior shows their negligence regarding you and your marriage.
They no longer care what happens to you. So rethink about continuing your marriage with an unsupportive partner.
36. There are unrealistic expectations in your marriage
There is no harm in keeping expectations from your partner as long as they are realistic, considering the current state of your marriage.
However, unrealistic expectations from your partner further fuel the deterioration of your marriage. Your partner may not be able to fulfill them and vice versa which will lead to disappointments.
If you’re aware of your current situation and still keep these expectations, it will eventually kill your marriage.
37. Divorce filing didn’t shake you up
Divorce is the last step toward ending your relationship. Filing for a divorce is a step before it. So if you or your partner already filed for a divorce, that’s a major step toward ending your marriage.
Many divorces fail to happen, and couples get together after realizing what they might lose.
However, if it is not the case with you and you make no efforts to undo the divorce thing, you are already out of your marriage with no way back.
38. There’s a lack of equality in your marriage
Equality is an important aspect of a healthy marriage, no matter the personal or professional life of the people involved in it.
It makes couples respect each other for what they are. Equality means equal efforts towards marriage from both parties in sustaining it forever with compromises and adjustments.
However, if you feel your marriage lacks equality and you work on it alone… it is time to look for a stopping point that is nothing but the end of your marriage.
39. You prefer spending time out of your relationship
No need to be around your partner all the time. You also have a personal life.
However, if you avoid your partner and always prefer staying outside… realize there is everything fishy about your relationship.
If you avoid returning home, you want to stay away from the tension in your marriage and not get into conflicts with your spouse… it’s a major red flag.
A marriage that keeps you away from home is no longer something to be a part of.
40. They introduced substance abuse in the marriage
Substance abuse is a major issue in the world. It is even responsible for ending well-settled marriages nastily.
So if you or your partner is a victim of substance abuse and is unwilling to give up on it, your marriage might not have a long life.
You might be unable to tolerate their stoned look and high behavior all the time and ask them to seek rehab. If they disagree, (which they will), you’ll eventually give up on your partner.
41. None of you wants to change for the better
Couples have differences, and no marriage is perfect.
The trick of a healthy relationship lies in the fact that you wanna change for the betterment of your marriage or accept each other’s differences.
However, if you or your partner is too reluctant about it, there’s a high risk of conflicts and domination from the other party.
Your partner might feel the need to force you towards changing your nature, and you might not like it at all. You know how it ends eventually.
42. They attract financial instabilities in the marriage
Money troubles can also get you into marriage troubles.
Financial instabilities can be a sign that you and your partner are not on the same page when it comes to managing finances and spending money. One of you might be looting the treasury more than what’s sustainable.
You might not be ready to compromise on finances after major setbacks in your financial life, and that can create a huge gulf between you and your partner. It can be a serious issue if you are not financially sound.
43. Loved ones always interfere in your matters
Marriage is about husband and wife managing things on their own without much interference from outside.
However, when family members begin interfering in your marriage and persuade you about running your marriage, it might not run for a long time.
Family members have high expectations from your marriage which eventually creates pressure on the couple. If that couple is you and your partner, be ready to see the end of your marriage.
44. Your children are the only reason to stay together
Children are binding aspects of a marriage, and they strengthen the bond between partners to a great extent.
However, things get difficult when the marriage runs only for the sake of children without a real connection between spouses.
Your children are so important that you don’t want to mess up their lives with your divorce. However, children alone cannot keep a marriage together for too long.
Unfortunately, it’ll be too late when you realize this. You may think it’s healthy for your children but honestly, choosing to stay in a lifeless marriage is more harmful.
45. Someone is always defensive to confrontations
Marriage is about supporting each other and not looking for defense mechanisms to outwit or sustain the deteriorating behavior of your partner.
If you or your partner becomes defensive… it’s a sign that you are feeling too uneasy and attacked in marriage.
So, if one of you is in a defensive state, your marriage has become a battleground and your relationship will eventually die.
46. The blame-games are very common
When you want to make a relationship work, you put your 100% into it. You make mistakes, accept them, and ensure that you do not repeat them.
However, if you both keep pointing at each other for mistakes, it is a warning sign.
None of you want to take responsibility for your relationship and only want the other person to make an effort. But do you think your relationship can survive this blame game?
47. All the focus is on painful and negative memories
Do you always remember the times when you fought with your partner?
Your marriage has both positive and negative memories. But, if you focus on only negative thoughts, your marriage is in trouble.
Whether you fight or have rough phases, the positive memories motivate you to get going.
However, if you can recollect only negative memories from your marriage… It indicates that your marriage has become hollow and you aren’t happy with your partner anymore.
48. The friendship is long lost from the marriage
The foundation of any marriage lies in friendship. If you are partners, you need to be friends first to be comfortable with each other. You must be able to share things with each other without the fear of judgment.
But if you see your friendship with your partner fading, watch out for the red flag.
If you lose your friendship with your partner, you will start hating them and won’t like to stay with them anymore.
Your hatred will overpower your love for them, and you may think of separation.
49. Distance doesn’t make you yearn for them
Usually, when couples are apart, they miss each other and long to be together again. But if this is not how you feel when you’re apart, it is a sign that your marriage is over.
Space usually brings couples closer, wanting to share things with one another.
For example, if your partner is returning from a business trip, and you feel stressed about the news of their return, there is a problem. So, pay attention to such frustrating signs.
50. Nobody puts the effort to dress-up
Usually, you love to dress for your partner because you love listening to compliments from them. You love that they feel special about you dressing up.
But, if you two stop dressing for each other, it is a sign that your marriage is over. You no longer want to impress your partner or make an extra effort for them.
Everything is a routine to you guys and you lost the charm of your relationship.
Was that too hard to understand? Or, do you not have time to tally with signs? Well, then take the shortcut here…
Signs your marriage is over quiz
Are still confused and want to know about the health of your marriage? Think that there’s still hope to fix the marriage?
To know if your marriage is over or if there are still chances of making it work, take this quiz and find out…
1. What is the frequency of fights you have with your partner in a month?
A. At least 5-15 times
B. Almost no fights
2. Can you trust your partner with your earnings?
3. Can you trust your partner with your life?
4. Do you feel you have achieved something great by getting married?
5. Who is your best friend?
A. Your ex
B. Your spouse
C. Someone else
6. How do you feel when you are with your partner?
7. Who gives you marriage advice?
A. Your ex
B. Family members/Friends
8. Are there any expectations from your marriage?
A. Not really
B. Yes, you want it to be a forever thing
C. Cannot decide at the moment
9. Do you share a bond of respect with your partner?
C. Not sure
10. Can you recollect more good or bad memories with your partner?
A. Bad memories
B. Good memories
11. Do you have a prefixed set of roles?
C. Not sure
12. What is the most common reason for your fight?
C. We don’t fight often
13. Do you cherish the intimate moments spent with your partner?
A. Not really
B. Yes, a lot
C. Little bit
14. Do you spend enough time with your partner?
15. Do you think your partner has misled you emotionally?
16. Are you feeling happy with your partner?
C. Not sure
17. Does your argument leave an impact on your children?
C. Sort of
18. Do you get an intuition that it is over?
C. A little bit
19. Do you end up becoming violent with each other?
20. Do you still have feelings for your partner?
C. A little
If you answered mostly A
I am sorry to say but yes, your marriage is almost at a dead end. You and your partner have reached a point where you clearly do not care for each other. The two of you want to live happily without each other.
If you answered mostly B
You do not have to worry as you are living a happy married life. You love your partner, and they love you back. Be the same and you will never face any trouble in your married life.
If you answered mostly C
It means that your marriage is heading in a negative direction. However, it is not too late. You still have a chance to fix your marriage before it reaches the black hole. Put in consistent efforts to save your marriage and you will be able to bring a difference in your marital life.
Answered in a combination of A’s and C’s? That’s concerning… but you can still try a bit. Let’s know more from here…
What should you do with these warning signs?
If you found your marriage is over or headed that way, consult a marriage counselor. Take your last shot to save your relationship.
I know you may be scared after knowing about these signs. But if you still want to give a chance to your relationship, there are certain ways you can fix some of these signs for good.
C’mon, let’s accept that the problems in a relationship don’t occur out of the blue. It is a result of long-term disrespect, infidelity, poor financial decisions, bickering, and a lot more. But everything is fixable, right?
A failed marriage can haunt you, but hey, why don’t you seek the advice of a marriage counselor?
No, no, there’s no harm in marriage counseling. In fact, these relationship experts try to understand the pain points of your relationship and then help you fix them.
So, if you follow the guidance, you can fix the above problems in your marriage and change it to a happy married life.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
After taking the marriage quiz and looking for red flags in the relationship, you’ll get a good idea if your marriage is about to end. Hence, when you notice any such sign, be cautious.
Put effort into your relationship and make your partner feel good. Marriages end in divorce when you don’t value your partner.
However, if you did everything to make your marriage work and see no progress, seek a couples’ therapist.
Even if it sounds awkward, nothing must be more important to you than your marriage. And besides your individual needs, focus on your partner to live a happy life.
Communicate respectfully to convey your feelings and try to make amends calmly.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...