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30 Heartbreaking Signs A Guy Is Using You Emotionally

30 Heartbreaking Signs A Guy Is Using You Emotionally

Published on Aug 28, 2023

30 Heartbreaking Signs A Guy Is Using You Emotionally

You’re so disappointed in your man that you are searching for signs a guy is using you emotionally. You always care for him, but he can’t even respond to your texts!

Well, it’s great that you’ve finally caught up to his game. Even if it’s been a while, you can catch him out and leave the manipulator for good!

So, keep scrolling to find the signs that will help you decide…

30 Signs A Guy Is Using You Emotionally

In a relationship, you expect your man to care for you as much as you do for him. But when a man puts zero effort into treasuring you, it’s normal to be suspicious. 

He might be busy for a month, but if you see he always acts selfishly, it’s high time to snap out of it.

So, read on to know if you are being used emotionally…   

1. He does not text or call you a lot

If he never texts or calls to tell you cute things or check if you’re okay, he just uses you for his needs. 

This man has no interest in making you happy. So he does not bother to check for your needs.

2. He does not contact you at all if he is out of town

Notice if he forgets you the second you are out of his sight. This shows that others provide him with enough company. You are someone who fills an emotional void in his life. 

3. He never talks about the future

If this is a short-term thing for him or to meet his selfish emotional needs, he won’t discuss the future. 

He wants you to satisfy his emotional needs for now. But he doesn’t care about staying.  

4. He does not introduce you to his friends

Do you know any of your boyfriend’s buddies?

You are not special to him if he keeps you out of his friend’s circle. He does not want to make a big deal out of this emotional transaction thing between you.

5. He has never invited you to try his hobbies

You will get to know him much better if he lets you join his hobbies. But he only wants to meet his selfish emotional needs, so he wants to block you from getting too close.

6. He is not very affectionate

When a man is in love, he will hold you in public, peck your cheeks, or throw his arm around you. 

This is a red flag if your guy acts like you are just another acquaintance.

7. He makes you feel like the last name on his list

Perhaps he does not care about your needs and puts friends and family first. If you feel like his last priority, this guy uses you to fulfill his emotional wants. He couldn’t care less about how you feel.

8. He does not kiss you 

Kissing sparks an intimacy like no other. So, if he is not doing that, he doesn’t want to get too close.

If he is not even pecking your forehead or cheeks in private, he just wants his emotional needs met and does not want to stay.

9. He does not share his childhood

If he hides his childhood stories, he actually doesn’t trust you to treat him well. Or he just doesn’t want to share.

He will give you just enough information to get the comfort he needs from you… but never treat you like a partner.

10. He always blames you for little things

It is not a good sign when every argument turns into a blame game. You are an easy target because he doesn’t care if you stay or leave. So long he gets what he can for the moment, he’s happy!

11. He is saying all the right things

If he never gets emotional or misspeaks, it is because he is dealing with you with no emotions attached. He knows just how to keep you hooked without giving away much.

12. He uses ‘break up’ as a threat

If he’s using you emotionally, he will have this one threat for every issue – “I’m done.” He’ll use the relationship to manipulate your emotions and have you act like he wants you to. 

13. He cheats on you

Infidelity has always been a major deal breaker for most relationships.But he does not care about you if he repeatedly cheats after being forgiven.

You give him the emotional support he wants, but you are replaceable. So, he doesn’t think about loyalty.

14. He does not care about your goals

A true partner will be your biggest cheerleader when you experience success. They will help you recover from failures and care about your goals.

If this guy is not giving any importance to your work and time, he is in it to drain your emotional energy.

15. He shows up only when he needs something

Another red flag is when he shows up only when he feels down and needs someone. But he will not be there when you need him.

This guy does not want to make it an equal relationship or give you the space to ask favors.

16. He does not care if you are unhappy

No sane person can hold back if their loved one is unhappy. It is quite normal for people to respond to a partner’s sadness and make them feel better. 

But if he is not there for you, he’s only using you emotionally. 

17. You are the only one putting effort into this relationship

If you are the only one working on this relationship, then this isn’t a serious bond to him. 

He will put in the bare minimum effort to call or text. And keep you waiting for when he needs you. But other than that, he is AWOL. 

18. He keeps a lot of secrets

Do you feel like he is hiding a lot from you? 

If he hid even the smallest detail, like who he is with, it’s a bad sign. This man does not want to tell you things to keep you at a distance.

19. He compares you to an ideal type

If a man is constantly comparing you to other women and saying, “She has better hair.”, “You should exercise more, see how fit she is,” he is using you to pass the time.

He isn’t committed to you, but he does not want to be single, either. So he keeps you around.

20. He asks you for advice but never listens to your problems

Recall if he always seeks advice about life and work from you. But he never has time to listen to your troubles.

If yes, you are reliable, and he trusts your judgment. He only uses your intelligence but doesn’t want to date you. 

21. He just unloads all his frustrations on you

People share their frustrations with their lovers. But if he only dumps his trauma on you but never includes you in his happiness, it shows he is using you. 

22. He keeps talking about his ex

Are there pictures of his ex on his phone or in his room?

When a man is still hung up on his ex, he constantly talks about her. He might tell you he had brought her to a dating spot before.

In this case, you can be sure you are just a rebound – a way to get emotional security.

23. His intentions about this relationship are unclear

Someone using you for his needs will not imagine a future with you. 

If this guy never talks about future career plans or tries to align your financial goals with his to build a good future, he is not that into you.

24. Your gut says that you’re a placeholder

A woman’s intuition is rarely wrong regarding relationships, so trust your gut if it feels off. 

You might just be a placeholder for his future partner. You are there for him to not feel alone and meet his emotional needs, but you are not in his heart. 

25. He is not emotionally there when you’re having sex

A guy who is not attached to you will avoid eye contact during sex. He probably imagines someone else with him while you fulfill his carnal needs.

See if he is emotionally present when you have sex and tries to feel connected to you. If he tries to avoid this, he just uses you until his true love comes.

26. He does not offer you any foreplay

Foreplay is important for a woman to feel pleasure. So, a guy who uses you emotionally will not be considerate of you in bed. He won’t care if you have been satisfied or not. He won’t wait until you’re physically ready, either.

27. You feel like his mother, not a partner

A guy who is using you emotionally will treat you like his mother. He will dump all his worries on you and expect you to comfort and please him. 

If this happens, know you do not have a good partner. He only wants you as a caretaker.

28. He does not ask you questions about your life

A guy who is into you can’t have zero questions about your life or who you’re hanging with.

This is a sign that he does not feel possessive of you. Rather, he wants to manipulate you into meeting some of his needs.

29. He does not take you out on dates

Dinner on the weekend or a movie date, such little things are enough to win a lady’s heart. But if he does not try to take you out without any hidden motives, be sure he is just using you.

30. He asks for an open relationship

If you had agreed to be monogamous, and now he wants to open the relationship, that’s a bad sign.

It’s most definitely because you meet his emotional needs, but he still finds other women attractive. 

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

If you noticed many of these signs from this list, this guy is using you emotionally. Remember, he’s not worth your time. So, move on to find a real man who can respect you and put effort into your happiness. 

However, if you feel that that might not be the case, communicate your feelings. Notice if he shows indifference toward your thoughts or begs you to stay back but doesn’t change. They both tell you to dump his a$$ and lead a better life!

So, know your worth and decide the best for yourself. 

Are you interested to know more about ‘Signs He Wants You To Notice Him’ then click here?