Have you been saying hurtful things in a relationship? Then you don’t just need to stop but also understand why.
But if you’ve been the victim of your partner’s mean comments and want to stop it, you’ll also get your answers here.
So, whichever your situation might be, dive in for answers!
10 Impacts Of Saying Hurtful Things In A Relationship
Words can have a lot of impact. They can either heal or hurt. They can make you love or hate someone. So, it is obvious that words can make or break a relationship.
And if you don’t think before speaking, it can lead to a lot of chaos. Read on to know exactly how!
1. It scars the relationship permanently
Hurtful words often damage your relationship irreversibly. It destroys the love and affection your partner holds for you. Moreover, your partner will believe you don’t care about them or their feelings.
2. You lose respect for each other
When you say bitter and hurtful things to your partner, it forces them to believe you do not respect them. As a result, they lose respect for you.
Even if you put them down only jokingly, their respect gets replaced by anger, hurt, hate, and even fear.
3. You become distant
You can’t build a loving relationship with someone when your hurtful words chip away at their sense of self-worth.
So, it can often create distance in the relationship. They might even get tired and eventually give up on the relationship.
4. You become hostile toward each other
When you say cruel things to each other, your partner may become hostile towards you and behave passive-aggressively. This can lead to a vicious cycle where you both put each other down.
Moreover, your partner then thinks they don’t understand them. As a result, they might even check out of the relationship, both mentally and emotionally.
5. The frequency of fights increases
When you say cruel things in a relationship, the frequency and size of your fights may increase.
Even when things are forgiven and forgotten, a hurt partner may reveal those words later, creating even larger issues. So, this can result in partners spewing more hurtful things.
6. The trust decreases
Saying hurtful things in relationships makes partners afraid of being vulnerable in front of each other. Thus it decreases trust in a relationship.
If the verbal attacks take place frequently and even regularly, it makes couples feel unsafe, as a result of which they may withdraw from the relationship.
7. Your partner suffers from low self-esteem
Verbal abuse is a form of emotional abuse. So, it is normal for your partner to feel exploited when you say cruel things. It may even result in feelings of insecurity and a loss of identity.
8. It can lead to cheating
Constantly saying hurtful things to your partner can drive them to seek love, respect, and emotional security elsewhere.
The hurtful words, the sense of betrayal, and the loss of identity… all of it together make your partner cheat.
9. It can result in a separation
Sometimes, your hurtful words can even result in the end of your relationship. When your partner feels they cannot take it anymore, they may ask for a separation.
10. It can lead to physical abuse
Verbal attacks in relationships can force your partner to turn to physical abuse or domestic violence. The constant bitterness may tip off their mental stability. Their attack leads to you attacking them, becoming a huge mess.
Note: Call 1800-787-3224 for help at the National Domestic Violence Hotline if your relationship has turned abusive.
However, if you’re on the receiving end of this bitterness, then keep reading for a solid plan …
How To React If Your Partner Is Saying Hurtful Things In A Relationship?
You can often be left with feelings of disbelief, shock, and confusion when your partner says hurtful things to you. As a result, you may not know how to react to the situation. So, follow these steps to improve your situation and give your relationship the chance it needs!
1. Don’t attack them back
“Why should I hold back if they did not? Why should I not hurt them as much?”
These questions can arise in your mind. But retaliation is one of the worst steps in this situation. So, hold your tongue even when it is hard, and take the high road.
Moreover, don’t take their words literally. Otherwise, it’ll chip away at your sense of self-worth and build long-lasting resentment.
2. Remember that it is okay to be upset
Couples often feel that if they forgive and forget, the relationship will heal in its own time. They believe that those words are a one-time thing. But they are wrong.
Instead, remember, it is okay and even natural to be upset. When you bottle up your feelings for long, they can explode. So, take the time out to feel sad and recover from the words.
3. Take some time off to calm yourself down
When you feel overwhelmed, take some time off to calm yourself down. You cannot find a solution to an argument when you are in pain.
So, go to a separate room, reevaluate the situation, and recognize how the words may have affected you. In that way, you can be more rational and stop further hostility.
4. Talk to your partner
After hearing your partner’s mean words, this might be the last thing you want to do. But nothing beats open and honest communication.
So, after you have cooled down, talk about the argument and address what they said. Help them realize the effect of their words on you.
5. Put yourself in their shoes to find the reasons
Have you ever said hurtful things to your partner? Are they facing trouble managing finances and blaming you for being careless? Would you do the same if you were them?
It may be hard to put yourself in your partner’s shoes when they spew hateful things, especially in an argument.
But try to understand where they’re coming from. Identify their triggers and act accordingly to find the solution.
6. Journal to let out the pain and identify sore points
It’s hard to express your feelings after feeling hurt. Moreover, your partner may not be the best listener. So, write down your feelings and evaluate the situation, process your emotions, and even realize why the argument happened in the first place.
Notice if they’re exploiting your vulnerabilities to force a reaction. It can help you figure out whether they are intentional. Understand what exactly about the words were hurtful.
7. Reflect on your relationship
If your partner continuously spews spiteful things at you, it’s time to reflect on your relationship.
In this case, your partner downplays emotional abuse because they don’t want to face the truth. So, take a step back and reevaluate your relationship.
8. Seek professional help
In your case, with a lack of communication and understanding in a relationship, things can turn for the worse.
So, to stop this from happening, seek professional help. Find the root cause of the problem and work on a solution together.
9. Don’t blame yourself
When partners say mean things, people blame themselves and try to fix themselves. Unless you’ve truly done something immoral, it is not your fault.
10. Forgive them
Often, people also hold a grudge against their partner. You have all reasons to be hurt. But if they have said those words in a fit of rage, try to forgive them.
If you ignore the mean words, are they generally loving, caring, and respectful?
If yes, then calm yourself by remembering that and focus on the positives of the relationship and forgive their words.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Hurtful words can have a long-lasting effect on relationships. It can destroy trust, foster grudges, and even result in separation.
Whether you’ve said something mean to your partner or heard it from them, remember you’re a team. So, communicate to figure things out and improve before things turn worst!
Are you interested to know more about ‘Soul Gazing’ then click here?
Are you interested to know more about ‘How To Deal With Someone Who Blames You For Everything’ then click here?
