So, you don’t feel the connection anymore and wanna know how to tell your girlfriend you want to break up.
Well, breakups are never easy but the right actions and words can help you go a long way. For that, you must follow certain rules, and use the right words to end things on a good note.
So, with lots of compassion and patience, follow these steps…
How to Tell Your Girlfriend You Want to Break Up? – 20 Expert Tips
Honestly speaking, the breakup conversation will hurt her and push an emotional outburst out of her. Especially if you guys have common friends, your life won’t be the same.
However, since your heart no longer belongs to her, stop stalling and face the situation with these tips.
1. Plan in advance
Keep in mind the sensitivity of this step and plan everything. Don’t just go and break the news to her directly.
A few days before breaking up, show that your relationship is not working out. Make her realize that both of you are not happy.
If she’s smart enough to read the signals, she may call it off herself… It will make your job a cakewalk.
You must also practice what you’d like to say to her. Don’t wait until the last moment, or you’ll fumble for the right words.
2. Don’t break up over the phone
Don’t break up with her via text message, phone call, email, or other social media platforms, as it is rude.
Even if you are in a long-distance relationship, make an effort to visit her and then end things.
This way, both of you can settle things in person and express yourself face-to-face. She’ll get closure and be able to move on!
3. Find the right time to break up
Don’t announce your break up before any special event, examination, or commemoration. The situation will get worse than you can imagine. So, choose a time when she is not engaged in significant work or activities.
4. Pick a place with some privacy
To have “the” conversation, choose a calm atmosphere and an unromantic place. Don’t select crowded places like parks, cafes, or other public areas. It will be better if you both are alone.
Don’t choose places that have been special to you both. Otherwise, it will give her flashbacks of your special moments.
5. Get into the topic slowly
“Hey, I just wanted to say that I want to call it off!”… Is this how you want to start the conversation? Well, then, please reconsider.
A straightaway breakup discussion is unwise because it can shock her and portray her as an insolent person.
Be thoughtful, avoid surprising language, and break into the topic slowly. Make her comfortable disclosing the events that lead to the decision to break up instead of bombarding it all of a sudden. Prepare her for the heartbreak.
6. Give her a valid explanation
Breakups due to trivial matters, silly debates, and in the heat of the moment are unacceptable. To end a relationship, you must have some valid reason.
If you are puzzled about whether your reason is legitimate or not, take suggestions from your best friend. Don’t enforce your justification on her. Instead of defending yourself, express yourself sincerely and delicately.
7. Never blame her
While parting with your girlfriend, please don’t blame her. Even if you have felt dissatisfied with her, don’t express it straightforwardly.
Sentences like: “You’ve been (doing this)”… Or “You’re excessively demanding” hurt the most.
Try to reason out why the connection didn’t work between you instead of pointing out the finger at her.
In contrast, if you have caught her cheating, abusing, or participating in any illegal activities behind your back, then you have the right to inform her.
But don’t question her actions and instead inform her respectfully that such things are unacceptable for you and leave.
8. Prepare to face a range of emotions
The thought of breaking up can expel multiple emotions from her. If it was a serious bond, she probably never expected this.
She will be devastated and might show anger, sorrow, painful tears, and many such emotions.
She might even become completely emotionless and blank. Whatever the situation is, try to handle it maturely and sincerely.
9. Resist the urge to argue
Often, ex-lovers lash out at their partners but try to avoid any kind of argument during this conversation.
This moment will be distressing for her. She may have a mental or emotional breakdown, and her emotions might burst out in anger. Don’t fuel her anger by degrading her or thrashing out at her.
10. Don’t let her confidence drop
After hearing your decision, she may blame or curse herself.
“Am I so bad? What’s wrong with me? Where am I lacking?” Many such questions will suffocate her.
But don’t let her belittle herself. Praise her about how amazing she has been to you till now. Ensure that she will find a better person than you for one last confidence boost.
11. Be a good listener
During the breakup conversation, she may also have a lot to share… especially if it was a serious relationship.
So, listen to her even if she accuses you. Don’t stop her from sharing her thoughts with you. This will reduce half of her trauma, and she will feel better.
Don’t take her words to heart because her reaction is pretty normal. Instead, allow her to pour all her feelings and emotions while she talks to you.
12. Never compare her with other girls
This is the cruelest thing you can do to your ex while breaking up. Even if she is evil, you have no right to compare her with someone else.
Everybody has individual characteristics. Good or bad, if you cannot accept them, don’t compare or ridicule them.
Moreover, don’t insult your bond by comparing your relationship with others. Your connection with your girlfriend is unique.
13. Avoid bad mouthing
No matter what, don’t get into a nasty fight… that’s the worst. You don’t want to wound anyone with your words.
The breakup is already going to be really hard on her. On top, the abusive and poisonous words will push her to the point of no return.
So, handle the matter with sensitivity, without disrespect, even if she was at fault.
14. Don’t give her false hope
While breaking up, it’s mandatory to sort out things properly. Don’t keep her on edge or give her false hope of getting back together.
Don’t leave space for confusion or further expectations. Otherwise, it will disturb her peace of mind.
Avoid confusing sentences like “Give me some time” or “I need a break.”
15. Be firm with your choice
Don’t let her tears melt you. Pity might make you want to patch up with her… but for how long?
If she is not the one, don’t waste her time or your effort.
If you both want to give each other a second chance, that’s different. But taking her back out of sympathy is stupidity.
This will be a temporary satisfaction, and you may even find yourself in the same situation again.
Whether or not it was your fault, apologize for calling it off and all the pain you have caused her.
Tell her that you cannot reduce her pain, but you feel guilty about it. If she was a good partner, no apology would be enough.
Even if she was wicked, tell her you are sorry for disappointing her. This shows that you are a better human.
17. Give her time to accept the blow
Don’t expect her to absorb all the shock immediately. Naturally, she can’t process everything at once.
She may even react as if nothing has happened. She may continuously request you to begin with a fresh start or try everything to reconcile.
Whether or not you agree to her request is your call, but don’t get mad at her just because she can’t process or respond quickly enough.
18. End things on a good note
Never end it by saying, “I don’t want to see your face again!”
Once, she was special to you. You can replace her with someone new, but you can’t forget her. She will always be a “someone in your past”… unless she might harm you or others physically.
You need space to move on and let her get over you. But stay in contact if she needs more closure.
19. Vent to a thoughtful friend as a support
If you are thinking of sharing your issues with a friend, remember that not every person in your squad is your true friend.
So, only open up to considerate and trustworthy friends. They will show you the correct path and be with you no matter what.
Note: Even if you initiated the breakup, you’ll also feel hurt and get emotional. So, stay in touch with a reliable person.
20. Discuss friendship and No-Contact
Some people believe that you can be friends with your ex if it wasn’t an abusive relationship.
However, this often leads to complications like on-and-off relationships. You might even get emotional, sleep with her, and get into a mess. You can instead choose to go on a No-Contact period instead.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
During the breakup, you can reduce her pain by being understanding. However, make sure she doesn’t get the wrong idea. Pull back the moment she assumes she has a chance.
You’re a good person, and that’s why you’re preparing to ease the blow. But don’t be a pushover, and know when to take a stand for yourself!
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...