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How To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship? 25 Actionable Ways To Find Peace

How To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship? 25 Actionable Ways To Find Peace

Updated on Oct 23, 2023

How To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship 25 Actionable Ways To Find Peace

So, you have noticed your problem and want to know how to stop overthinking in a relationship.

Well, congratulations because this is a great start to your recovery! After all, identifying that you have a problem takes you halfway to the solution.

Now, all you have to do is have faith in your willpower. And let’s work things out here!

How To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship? – 25 Ways

Your partner has been kind… yet you fear they are planning to end things. You always worry about them finding love elsewhere. Due to your constant anxieties, your partner probably also lost their cool.

Well, it’s high time you work on this. So, take all the help you need here…

1. Introspect about why you’re overthinking

The answer to why you overthink lies within you, so look inside. Sit down on a calm day and ask yourself, “What makes me feel vulnerable?”.

Overthinking makes you imagine the worst-case scenario and protect yourself from it. So, find out what makes you uneasy about dealing with the root cause.

2. Communicate with your partner clearly

Your overthinking leads you to act in unexpected ways or become too emotional. As always, communication is key. So talk to your partner to get rid of misunderstandings.

When they understand how your thoughts worry you, they can support you.

3. Write down your thoughts

Your thoughts will eat you up from the inside if you do not give them an outlet, so start writing. 

Journalling is a good way to organize your thoughts. When you write, you’ll collect your thoughts so others can understand. Naturally, you can spot where things have shifted from reality.

4. Focus on the facts

Is your partner really pulling away from you? Is there another explanation for their behavior? 

Find answers to such questions and focus on the facts about your relationship. 

If your partner has been acting off, you might think they are over you. But it might also be that they are disturbed due to work.

5. Identify what you really want

You overthink probably because some of your needs still need to be met. So you need to recognize these to attempt to solve this issue.

6. See if this is about control

If you have control issues, you will feel uneasy whenever things don’t follow your plan. 

So, did your partner do something that was not what you imagined? 

Perhaps they decided to go on a solo trip. Since you were not included in that plan, it might have triggered your control issue. 

If this sounds similar, you must first work on your control issue.

7. Confront your fears

To end to overthinking,  you must confront and process those fears to find peace. Reflect upon the things that cause you anxiety. Figure out a way to deal with them healthily. 

8. Explore your own hobbies

Take your mind off your relationship to avoid overthinking. Learn new things or explore your own hobbies. Join a pottery class or take up drawing again. Whatever brings you joy by yourself, fill your time with it.

9. Reframe your thoughts

Stop being overwhelmed by your thoughts by reframing them into questions. 

For instance, you think, “He forgot to kiss me before leaving for work because he doesn’t want me anymore.”

Replace that with, “Did he forget to kiss me before leaving for work for some reason?”

Don’t answer your own questions. 

10. Identify when you’re overthinking and put a brake on it

This is another technique you can use to regulate your thoughts. 

When you have fearful ideas about your relationship, remember how your partner made you happy that day. Put a brake on your frightening thoughts instantly.

11. Do something creative with your partner

Try something creative with your partner. Then you will get an opportunity to have a lot of fun joking around with each other. You’ll also get to praise each other’s handiwork.

Go to an open mic or join a baking class. This regular positive interaction will calm your fears.

12. Discuss your triggers with your partner

Overthinking is often triggered by things that make you feel unsafe. So, recognize your triggers and keep your partner in the know.

Your partner can avoid those actions if they’re aware of your triggers.

13. Seek professional help

Overthinking in a relationship can be a symptom of mental health problems like anxiety disorder. So, if it affects your day-to-day life, seek professional help.

A therapist is trained to deal with such problems and will be able to help you manage your life in the best way.

14. Substitute the word ‘overthinking’ with ‘obsessing’

Often, the term “overthinking” is taken too lightly because the word does not show the intensity of the problem. So replace it with a heavier, more serious term like “obsessing.”

When you tell yourself you are “obsessing” over something, you will naturally try to stop doing that.

15. Trust the relationship you have built

To overcome your unsettling thoughts, you need to trust your choice of partner and your relationship.

Of course, when your mind tells you to doubt everything, this is difficult. But take a deep breath and trust them, no matter the outcome.

16. Understand where your habit comes from

Overthinking often has its roots in childhood. This is because you learned to process feelings and accept things you cannot control in your childhood.

Perhaps your parents were too critical of you when you made mistakes in childhood. Or the adults you grew up with never showed appreciation for your actions and made you doubt their love for you. 

These can cause you also to doubt your partner’s love for you. If you understand where this habit comes from, you can address the root cause and heal from your trauma.

17. Accept that there is no ‘right’ way to do things

There is no ‘right’ way to act or do something that will make your relationship last forever. While practicing compassion and communication does make a relationship healthier, it is not a recipe for success.

There is no ‘one’ thing you can do or ‘one’ thing you can avoid to make your relationship unbreakable. So, take a step back and relax. Make decisions based on what facts you can see.

18. Ask your friends for feedback

Your friends are the best people when giving feedback about overthinking. They know some details about your partner and your relationship.

So, go to them for help so they can tell you whether you are overthinking. Or there is an actual cause for concern.

19. Put a time limit on your decision-making

Avoid giving yourself too much time if you overthink while making decisions in your relationship. Otherwise, you will become more confused.

When deciding simple things like – your outfit, a gift for your partner, and likewise, time yourself. Choose something within that set number of hours.

20. Remember that your partner is a different person

Your partner is unique with their own way of thinking, likes, dislikes, and so on. Hence, they will react differently to things than you.

Accept this and give them the benefit of the doubt that they are doing things their own way. Don’t assume that they’re trying to end the relationship.

21. Talk face-to-face with your partner

Texting is a great way to keep in touch with people. But it lacks the two essential things that complete communication – 1. The tone of voice and 2. Body language and facial expression.

These things can change how a sentence is perceived by the other person and prevent miscommunication. 

Like, your partner might be joking about something over text. Yet you think they are serious because you cannot see the smile in their eyes.

22. Do not over-analyze conversations

Stop analyzing every word of a conversation after it is over. 

If you have doubts, ask your partner about them instead of ruminating on everything. If you go through several meanings of their words, it won’t help you.

23. Don’t shame yourself

Shame will make you withdraw and prevent you from fixing the problem. So do not shame yourself for being whiny or overemotional. 

Instead, take active steps to control your overthinking. Try to deal with this part of yourself slowly.

24. Focus on self-care

Self-care goes a long way to get rid of negative feelings. It makes you healthier and feel more comfortable in your own skin.

This can be joining a gym to become fitter or starting a better nighttime skincare routine.

25. Practice meditation

Mindfulness will help recenter your thoughts and bring you in touch with your own self. Thus reducing the chances of overthinking. And one way to practice mindfulness is meditation. 

You can join a yoga studio to meditate regularly or take an hour every morning to meditate by yourself at home.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Overthinking can lower your quality of life and affect your relationship negatively. So remember, to overcome this issue, it’s not enough to blindly follow this guide. You have to stay consistent and actively take measures to change your habits. 

If necessary, seek help from everyone around you. Don’t be shy to share your issues. If anyone makes fun of you, ignore them. 

Have faith because your problem can be solved. So, be confident and keep your chin up! 

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