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How to Rekindle a Relationship and Bring Back the Spark? 40 Surefire Ways

How to Rekindle a Relationship and Bring Back the Spark? 40 Surefire Ways

Updated on Oct 11, 2023

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

How to Rekindle a Relationship & Bring Back the Spark - 40 Ways

So… you want to know how to rekindle a relationship, then I’m guessing your relationship has reached a stage where everything seems off.

There are no dates, no sex, no flirting… absolutely nothing.

Buddy, falling in love is easy, but staying in love requires lots of effort and dedication. If you feel your boyfriend or girlfriend is starting to drift away or lose interest, it’s time to change some of the basic things in your relationship.

In this article, I shall tell you in detail how to rekindle a relationship with your partner. And in no time, you’ll see love blossoming again!

How to Rekindle a Relationship – 40 Ways

Any long-term relationship has its fair share of ups and downs. Studies show that most couples feel that the special spark in the initial days of their relationship begins to fade away with time. Your sex life begins to get monotonous and the excitement deteriorates.

So, what do you do in such a tough situation? Simple, you try your best to bring back the happy old times! It might sound impossible, but simply follow the tricks I’m telling you, and you’ll be all set.

1. Make time to talk

When you started dating, you and your partner must have spent all day talking to each other over the phone, right? Well, when your relationship needs a fix, you need to start talking to each other again.

Take out some time to talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend and listen to them. This will show them that you’re present in the moment and you prioritize communication.

To understand where and how you both are going wrong, you have to talk to your partner and let them know that you’re willing to sort things out.

2. Show gratitude

During the initial stages of a relationship, most of us often show gratitude for the love your partner’s showers on you. But down the road, this habit starts to fade. Any healthy relationship requires you and your partner to express to each other how much you appreciate the other person.

Think about all the different ways in which your partner contributes to the relationship, no matter how small their actions are. Take out some time and tell them, “Honey, I love the amount of effort you put into our marriage and I’m so grateful for you”.

3. Do new things together

The start of a marriage or relationship flourishes because you both are exploring each other’s interests and doing fun activities. And while you might think that these exciting days are over, they don’t necessarily have to be!

As long as you both do things that make you feel good, you can be as creative as you want. Spend some quality time making a completely new dish or take your partner to a fun-filled amusement park.

When you both delve into something new, you’ll rediscover each other’s passions and take part in them!

4. Be affectionate

So, your makeout sessions are drier than ever and your love life is becoming messier by the day, but don’t panic. That’s absolutely normal. Let me tell you the one weapon that can make your partner appreciate you more than ever: physical affection. It can be sexual, non-sexual, or both.

This is because, when you are physically intimate and affectionate, your brain releases chemicals that signal love and tenderness.

So, the next time your hubby or wifey comes back home from work, give them a warm hug and a peck on the cheek and watch their eyes light up!

5. Plan date nights

Date nights are one of the most important parts of any relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together. To establish a real connection with your sweetheart, you need to strike a balance between work and personal life.

Plan a date night every week and make sure this time is reserved solely for the two of you. If you have kids, ask a babysitter or a relative to take care of them while you and your partner spend some quality time together.

During the honeymoon phase, every couple will set apart a specific day or time for a romantic evening and this should be maintained long after the honeymoon period is over.

6. Try out new things in your sex life

Any relationship coach will tell you that your sex life needs to be as perfect as possible to make your love life heavenly. After all, what’s a greater form of intimacy than having sex with each other? Even if you’re comfortable with your current sex life, it doesn’t hurt to shake things up a little, right?

Let me tell you, doing simple things like trying out new sex positions or investing in hot lingerie can do magic! Changing your usual pattern will not only bring back some of the honeymoon fun but will also help you see what kind of things your partner likes now.

7. Forgive each other after arguments

Arguments and conflicts are a normal part of any healthy relationship. In fact, anyone who’s been in a proper relationship will tell you that having fights is actually good in a way. But make sure to never escalate things beyond a point.

After having a big fight, figure out where the problem lies and talk to your partner openly. Make room for healing and forgiveness. You might have said harsh things to each other in the heat of the moment, but it’s now time to self-introspect and release those negative vibes.

8. Be honest with your partner

In the early stages of a relationship, it can be difficult to communicate honestly with each other because you fear what the other person might think of you.

But if you’ve been together for long and now you see that something in your relationship seems off, it’s best to be as honest as possible.

This will help you to stay connected and reach a middle ground. Discuss why you feel that the spark between you both is fading and how to bring it back. Tell them your honest opinions and don’t be afraid to ask them their viewpoints too!

9. Flirt often

Who said flirting is only for new lovebirds? Let me tell you that you can flirt whenever and wherever you want with your beau!

Flirting is a really simple way to start the spark and keep it going. Flutter your eyes at them or touch their butt lightly. You’ll notice your partner’s eyes lighting up with joy!

What were some of the best flirty tactics that you used during the initial stages of your romance? Think of them and try to bring back those good times. Add some physical touch, compliments, and some sexy pick-up lines… and it’ll do the job!

10. Sext 😉

Sexual intimacy can take many forms, one of which is sexting. If you really wish to reconnect with your partner and find out how to rekindle the romance in a long-distance relationship, sexting is one of the sure-shot ways.

Sexy messages not only make your partner feel wanted and loved but also let them know that you still view their body as attractive. Even if you’re not in a long-distance relationship, you can still sext each other and maybe send some flirty photos.

When your partner is at work, send them a message that says, “Hey cutie, I was thinking about spending the night together in a special way”!

11. Take small steps

Trying to tackle every problem in your relationship all at once can be really difficult. This is why you must start by paying attention to one problem at a time. See which area of your relationship needs the most attention and then continue from there.

For example, if you feel that your relationship is going pretty well in terms of communication but lacks some good bedroom times, you can try to find out what’s going wrong in your sex life. Be open and honest with yourself and your partner.

Finding something that you both can fix together will bond you in a shared experience.

12. Give priority to sex

Check your weekly to-do list. It must be filled with stuff like “pick up the kids from school” or “don’t forget to buy milk”. But have you thought about fitting in some sexy times in your calendar? If improving your relationship is on your mind, then you might plan regular dates and sex.

For example, if you and your partner have some time during the weekend, don’t spend it watching Netflix movies or series. Instead, take them to the bedroom and explore their body. Tell them how much you missed having sex and how you can’t wait for them to light up your night again!

13. Buy new sex toys together

When I talk about sex, I don’t just mean jumping into bed and getting over with the job. No, sex needs to be a fun activity for both of you. And if you feel that conventional methods of sex are becoming boring, you must definitely browse and purchase a new sex toy!

Shed those inhibitions and spend some time figuring out what kind of sex toy will make them go crazy for you. Not only will you end up experimenting with different ways to have sex but you will also rekindle the spark of romance and desire!

14. Try out different forms of desire

According to sexologists, there are two basic types of desires, spontaneous and responsive.

Spontaneous desire occurs on its own, with no reason other than the fact that you want to have sex with your partner right then and there. Responsive desire, on the other hand, happens as a response to something hot or sexy.

For example, you can turn on your partner simply by giving them a warm kiss on the lips or stroking their thighs. Both forms of desire can ignite a passionate fire within you two that will surely brighten up your entire relationship.

15. Go on a vacation

A vacation is just the medicine you need to heal your broken relationship. Not only will it be good for your mental health but will also give you an opportunity to leave behind the hustle and bustle of your daily lives.

If you need some ideas for a short trip, simply search for exotic locations on social media and book your tickets. It doesn’t really have to be at a luxury hotel or a super-expensive resort. Anything that makes you both feel comfortable will do.

When you’re on the trip, make it a point to not bring up topics of your day-to-day activities, such as work or stress.

16. Plan a vacation at home

Have you ever heard of a staycation? Well, it’s just like a vacation, except that you get to spend it in the comfort of your house!

If you need tips on how to rekindle romance in a long-term relationship, then a staycation is perfect. Not only will it save you a lot of money but will also help you to plan fun activities throughout the day.

If your marriage is going through a rough patch, for example, and neither of you wants to go out for a trip, you can take some time and relax at home.

17. Read an exotic book

To ignite fire and make your partner want you intensely, you can try out this sexy activity. Simply find a good, juicy article or story that has lots of sex and read it out loud to your partner.

Even a two-person romance book club is a good idea. Alternatively, you can also watch an R-rated movie together and let your imaginations run wild!

This will turn both of you on and will help to rekindle the flame of love. While you’re doing this, don’t forget to ask your partner how much they’re enjoying it.

18. Consult a therapist

Even if you try out everything written in blogs or magazines, there are some solutions that only a licensed therapist can provide.

Depending on the specific problems that you’re facing with your soulmate, you can book an appointment and talk openly with a sex or relationship expert. Be clear and upfront with your problems.

Remember, hiding things will only lead to more confusion later. If your partner agrees, you can even do a couple’s therapy session so that your therapist understands how to make things right between you both again.

19. Indulge in non-sexual physical intimacy

When we talk of physical intimacy, sex is almost always the first thing that comes to our minds. But when was the last time you showed physical affection without indulging in sex or something similar?

We often underestimate the power of simply physical sensations of love, such as a hug or an innocent kiss. These positive emotions within you are enough to let your partner know that you love their soul, not just their body.

Thus, it’s important to incorporate chaste physical touches in both of your love languages. Stroke their hair, give them a back rub – there are endless ways to show your love!

20. Use your relationship polarity wisely

You must have heard of the phrase “opposites attract”, isn’t it? When you first met your special one, you must have had your fair share of differences.

These differences seemed cute at first but now you feel that you both are way too apart. Instead of feeling that nothing can be done, use this polarity, or difference, to your advantage.

Your natural energy and that of your partner will work together to bring about a balance. Celebrate and love each other’s differences because regaining your energies is the key point to rekindling your relationship.

21. Ask them about their day

One great way to make your partner feel heard and loved is to ask them how their day was. Every time one of you gets back home, make it a point to ask each other about your day. This will improve communication and honesty between you. This trick might not sound like much, but trust me, it’s a game-changer.

Something as simple as, “Honey, how was your day? Did you enjoy work?” can transform your relationship significantly. It doesn’t take too much effort but can mean the world to the other person, especially if they’ve had a rough day at work.

22. Give meaningful gifts to each other

People love receiving fancy and expensive things on special occasions but someone who gifts you meaningful things on days other than your birthday or anniversary is someone worth keeping.

So, if you are looking for ways to rekindle a dying relationship, give your significant other something tiny but precious.

For example, give them a book that they’ve been longing to read for a long time, or a special couple’s massage in a spa. It doesn’t necessarily have to be very costly. If you give them a gift on any uneventful day, they will understand how much you still care for them.

23. Learn how to control your emotions

No matter how old we become, controlling our emotions can be one of the toughest things to do. But, in order to fix a broken relationship, this is essential. Mastering emotions is an art and with age, it becomes slightly easier to do so.

So, the next time you and your partner have a conflict, don’t suppress your anger or frustration and then take them out all at once.

Understand the root cause of the conflict and calmly explain it to the other person. Remember, it’s never you vs your partner. Rather, it’s you both vs the problem.

24. Defuse conflict with something fun

The period after having an intense argument face to face can be a little shaky. Neither of you knows what to say or how to patch things up.

So why don’t you take the first step and do something fun to defuse the awkwardness in the room? Couples who really want to fix their relationship know that conflict, when handled properly, leads to growth.

Soften the aftermath of the argument with humor. Make a silly joke or bake a muffin for your beau. This will help you both to reconnect and show each other that fights are temporary, but the relationship is forever!

25. Write love letters and journals

In today’s era of smartphones and messaging apps, people have seriously forgotten how precious handwritten love letters are.

If you’re someone who struggles to say your feelings out loud, this can be an especially useful tip for you. Write a short and simple letter to your partner, even if you both live in the same house, and give it to them.

Alternatively, journaling is also a great way to reconnect with each other and understand why your relationship is going through a rough patch. It helps you to heal and be more mindful in the future.

26. Set some ground rules

It’s easy to fall prey to infidelity or bad habits but equally difficult to rebuild trust. If your significant other has cheated on you, or if you’re the one who cheated, it’s best to set up some ground rules for the future.

It might seem hard to get back to the happy times that you had earlier, but remember, forgiving and healing are essential. Rules may not sound romantic but they help you both to avoid a similar situation in the future.

For example, make it a rule to be as honest as possible. You don’t necessarily have to share each other’s email addresses or social media passwords, but personal information or important news must be shared.

27. Make a happy memory bank

If you’re only focusing on the fights and problems between you and your partner, you can try and build a happy memory bank.

This bank will serve as a reminder to you both to not let go of each other. Put in all the happy memories that you shared, such as gatherings with friends and family, the cute dates that made you fall in love, your honeymoon, etc.

Every time one of you feels like giving up on the relationship, open the happy memory bank and look through all the pictures or mementos. Find any and every reason to celebrate your bond.

28. Ask yourself if the relationship can actually work

So, you both broke up and now you’re looking for ways to rekindle a relationship with your ex. Before you dive right in and face another heartbreak, it might be a good idea to take a step back and evaluate if the relationship can actually work or not.

For example, your partner might be a decent human being who earns well. But they are also a workaholic who can barely spare any time for you.

Even if you both lead a financially-comfortable life, is it worth staying with someone who doesn’t spend any time with you? Make sure you see things realistically and do not let your emotions get the best of you.

29. Accept your partner’s flaws

Let’s face it, we all want to be perfect but none of us is. If you keep viewing your partner as someone who needs to look good, earn well, have multiple degrees, and be a pro at every sport, you’re tackling things in the wrong way.

Just like you have your imperfections, your partner has their own too. Instead of constantly comparing them to someone else, you should learn to love those flaws and accept them the way they are.

This doesn’t mean you need to keep quiet and say yes to whatever the other person demands. But cute little habits can surely be forgiven, right?

30. Take sex off the table

This trick might seem counterintuitive, especially since I’ve said so much about the importance of sex, but couples who aren’t really ready to get sexually intimate can really relieve themselves by taking sex off the table- at least for a little while.

Removing the constant pressure of having sex and pleasing your partner by doing sexy moves or poses can really rebuild love and trust. It will help you both to see how to fall in love with each other again.

Avoiding sex relaxes the awkward situation of not giving your best or not pleasing the other person enough.

31. Give each other space

Sure, hanging out with each other and doing lovely little things together can help the spark to burn strong.

But it’s also important to know when to leave your partner with a bit of space. For example, if they’ve come home from work and don’t wish to be disturbed, let them cool off for a while.

Understand that you both have your own personal lives outside of each other. Not only is it difficult to feel attracted to someone who’s lost their individuality but it also diminishes the spark in the long run.

32. Take care of yourself

You might be trying your hardest to rebuild the relationship that you once had, but have you considered taking care of your own self? Your physical and mental health is as important as your partner’s, so never compromise them.

When you’ve been together for long, it’s tough to understand where your partner ends and you begin. Find a hobby, set some personal goals for yourself, and do everything possible to reclaim your identity.

Having individual interests will also give you something to talk about and make you realize that you do have a life outside of your relationship.

33. Focus only on your partner

When a long-term relationship becomes boring and dull, it’s completely normal to be attracted to a third person. You might have a little crush on them or feel that they give you more importance than your partner. But this is where you draw the line.

Tell yourself that no matter what, you won’t end up cheating on your significant other. Be a one-man woman or a one-woman man only.

Staying faithful and loyal to your soulmate will make you realize how important your bond is and how you’re not ready to lose this precious connection for someone else.

34. Re-enact your first date

When in doubt, just your use history and re-enact your first date! First dates are fun and naughty, and that’s exactly when you both got to know each other on a deeper level.

If you’re running out of ideas on how to reignite the spark of love, book a reservation in the restaurant where you had your first dinner together or go to the movie theater where you both cuddled for the first time while watching a film.

The best part about this trick is that it doesn’t take a lot to plan and can be done almost any day!

35. Make your partner your best friend

I’ve noticed that a major reason why couples fall apart is that they find the chemistry between each other bland and dull.

This mostly happens because you’re looking at your partner just as your lover, not as a best friend. We tend to have a solid bond with our friends for years and years, then why not with our partners too?

The moment you understand that your partner isn’t just your husband or wife but also your greatest friend and confidante, you’ll see the broken pieces of your relationship getting glued back together!

36. Notice your partner’s moods

Yes, wanting to cuddle your partner the moment they walk through the door is super adorable, but what do you do when they seem uninterested or off? It’s important to take note of your partner’s mood and what’s bothering them.

If they don’t wish to tell you, don’t pressurize them. Instead, ask their friends or co-workers. Even if your significant other isn’t going through any stress but just doesn’t feel like jumping into bed with you, you have to respect that and let them be.

If you focus solely on your emotions without placing importance on your partner’s, the relationship will keep deteriorating.

37. Compliment each other

Imagine buying a new t-shirt or dress and your partner telling you, “My gosh, you look so amazing!”. Won’t that light up your face with a beaming smile? The same advice goes the other way too.

Complimenting each other is really important, especially when your chemistry is going off-balance. You don’t have to make the compliments too cheesy or fake.

Say simple and sweet things like, “I love that outfit on you” or “I’m so proud that you were finally able to get that promotion”. Just like complimenting other people goes a long way, complimenting your partner also helps a lot.

38. Get a pet

Yes, I understand, this tip sounds bizarre but did you know that many couples all over the world have said that a pet animal greatly strengthened the bond that their owners share?

Of course, you can only adopt a little puppy or kitten if you both wish to take care of it and give it all the basic necessities.

But if you’re up for it, then there’s no better way to rekindle your chemistry than by having a furry friend. Go on evening walks or feed the animal together- the possibilities are endless!

39. Ask questions

Asking meaningful and open-ended questions makes you a good listener and an empathetic person. However, be careful to not bombard your partner with questions all the time. You can practice reflective saying by affirming what your significant other is telling you.

For example, try saying things like “It sounds like your work is stressing you out. Is there any way I can help?”. Be open when it comes to sharing your feelings and opinions. Only then will your relationship strengthen and blossom.

40. Don’t give up

It takes almost no time to break up and walk the other way, but when it comes to putting in the work and effort to sustain a relationship, it takes time and patience.

Don’t give up on each other, no matter how difficult things might seem. The harder you work now, the more chances you have at saving your broken relationship.

Remember the saying “Rome wasn’t built in a day”? It applies to a failing relationship too. Just give yourselves time and the rest will happen on its own!

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Every relationship, whether it’s long-term or short-term, has its own share of ups and downs. It takes balance from both of your ends to improve the bad aspects and feel grateful for the good ones.

If you both focus on the big picture and promise to never let go of each other, you’ll see that your relationship will automatically improve. Consistent efforts, loyalty, and open communication are things you must pay attention to.

Are you interested to know more about ‘How to be a Better Wife’ then click here?