So, you want to know how to reconnect after a relationship break… well, I know how miserable and confused you feel right now. You don’t know how to approach the situation and… you’ve no clue if your partner still loves you the same way.
But worry not because this think-piece has everything you need!
However, remember that there’s no sure-shot way to reconnect after a relationship break… and a lot depends on the reasons for the break but it’s always wise to keep some ways up your sleeve than going in blind.
So, come on let me enlighten you with a few…
How to reconnect after a relationship break? – 25 Ways
A short break from your relationship and your partner has often proved to me a magical method of reviving it. However, when you return, reconnecting might seem awkward and challenging.
Well, relationship coaches always stress on communication and boundary setting. But let’s be honest… you feel damn nervous about the situation. So, obviously, you can’t hope to find the same comfort overnight. Moreover, breaking the ice is also tough!
You have all the reasons to hesitate… but that doesn’t mean there’s no way to make things right. Let me help you with a few.
1. Ask open-ended questions
So, the break is over, and you’re together once more… but it’s SO awkward now? So, what should you do? Well, the answer is simple – start an open-ended conversation.
Start with asking open-ended questions and avoid one-word answer questions at all costs. This way, the conversation will last longer and, in the process, you will find new ways to bond.
Further, open-ended questions also help you build emotional intimacy and make your partner feel they can talk to you about anything and still have fun.
2. Understand your partner’s perspective
If you want to have everything your way in a relationship, I am sorry, my friend… but that’s the route to relationship failure. Relationships require lots of effort, sacrifices, compromises, open-mindedness, and understanding.
You cannot always expect your partner to agree with you. If they have a different perspective, embrace it and empathize with it.
So, if you want to get back stronger after a break, never, NEVER dismiss your partner’s point of opinion.
3. Don’t continue the last relationship… treat it as if it’s new
Though you already know your partner, a break gives you the opportunity to begin with a fresh page. So, why not leverage it? Treat your relationship as if it’s brand new… with all the romance and sweet gestures.
Remember how flirty you got when you first tried to impress them? Remember the cheesy lines you used?
Well, however cheesy they seemed, they worked well then. Why can’t you give it a try, now?
Or find some new cheesy lines that will make your partner swirl. Stay beside them like before. Soon, the spark in your relationship will reignite and you’ll easily reconnect after a relationship break.
4. Never violate the boundaries
If your partner has set some boundaries and does not want you to invade them, you must allow them the space and respect it. It will show your partner that you trust them with all your might and will never let insecurities creep in.
Let’s understand this with an example. If you cheated on your partner in the past and they still gave you a chance to reconnect but only if you’ll break ties with your infidelity partner.
That’s not a condition, it’s a boundary that they’ve drawn to save this relationship… and you must not violate this boundary no matter what.
5. Express that you missed them… a lot!
Throughout the break, your partner must have missed you immensely. And wondered, does he/she feel the same? They were probably insecure the entire time!
So, pull them out of their misery and tell them how much you missed them!
Tell them how you missed the warmth, the love and the care. Express how you waited for their calls and stalked their social media profiles. Ask them if they felt the same.
All this will make your partner feel special and put your relationship back on the map… if you know what I mean.
6. Don’t dilly-dally and fix the wrong ASAP
As soon as you get into fights, take time to cool down and fix things ASAP. Going on a long break only triggers ego issues in both, and initiating a conversation becomes even more difficult.
Choose your words wisely even when you both are in an argument and offer them immense emotional comfort. Tell them how you intend to fix things and can’t afford to lose them.
This way, they’ll know you value your relationship above everything else, and it makes it easier to reconnect.
7. Never hesitate to apologize for your mistakes
If you wish to reconnect, keep your ego aside. Never expect your partner to apologize for all the fights. If you make mistakes, just own them!
Say, when you decided to go on a break, you insulted your partner a lot because you couldn’t control your temper. So, before anything else, you must apologize for hurting them.
Don’t forget to promise that you won’t repeat these mistakes and make sure you don’t.
8. Make effort to spend time with each other
Of course, you guys are busy with school or work and can’t always go on dates or indulge in couple activities. But at least, try to spend more time with them. Help them in their everyday chores.
Whether it’s shopping, laundry, cooking, or anything else… accompany them. This will give you both some extra time to reignite the lost spark.
9. Send them a BIG bouquet of flowers
If you are not sure what can surprise them, always opt for the age-old, traditional ways – flowers! And yes, they work well both for women and men.
If you haven’t yet got back completely, sent them flowers with an apology note. Or, if you are on talking terms and trying to reconnect, dress up and visit their house with some wine and flowers to make them feel special.
However, don’t make it a one-time thing. Continue this gesture so they realize you are serious about this relationship.
10. Offer them a massage 😉
Sometimes, people take a break out on a whim… and it’s too late when they realize their mistake. It might be similar for you guys too. So, try to relax your partner to help them calm down.
Offer them a professional spa or massage session. Find out their favorite salon or the best one in your city and pre-pay for them. Send the voucher to your partner along with an apology note. And don’t forget to let them know you have already paid for these sessions.
They’ll be eternally grateful for this pampering after a tiring schedule. With this, it’ll be easier to seek forgiveness.
11. Send heartfelt messages… and often!
While trying to reconnect, you must stay in touch. Obviously, it’s not possible to always stay connected over the call. So, send them heartfelt messages frequently.
Let them know you think about them all day and they have occupied a big portion of your mind and heart. Show them they are your priority and you want this relationship to work by all means.
12. Compose a customized love song
If romance tickles both of your hearts and has similar tastes in music, try customizing a song for them! Use your relationship memories to compose the lyrics in this song, talk about how special they are, and apologize for your mistakes towards the end of it.
Ask some local artists to sing it for you. But, to make it even more special, sing it yourself.
Don’t bother about the song going off-beat. For your partner, it will feel more heart-touching if you sing it for them. You can also compile pictures of you two, make a video, and add this song in the background to make it more appealing.
13. Send them a soothing apology audio
The last point might not work if either of you isn’t romantic, you guys don’t have the same concept of romance, or your tastes in music aren’t the same.
In that case, send them a soothing recorded apology in your voice along with a slideshow of your relationship pictures. It’ll remind them of all the sweet moments of the past and of all the love that they’ve been missing.
If you aren’t good with technology, you can also handcraft an apology card or buy one. Write a personalized note for them to make them feel better.
14. Give them meaningful gifts
Since you were together for a while, you definitely know about their likes and dislikes. So, buy a gift that will not just make them smile but also offer them warmth.
For example, if your partner likes sports, you can buy them their favorite sports kit. Additionally, you can also get something signed by their favorite sports player.
It will tell them you still remember and care about the small details. After all, it is all in the details, right?
15. Set up a romantic date
When you try to reconnect after a break, you must try to reignite the spark in your relationship by all means.
So, choose a fancy restaurant of your partner’s favorite cuisine and book a poolside or rooftop table. Pick a corner table, so you can spend some peaceful time.
Ask for special arrangements like table decorations, a cake, or flowers, and wear your favorite dress. Pre-order their favorite dishes so they don’t have to wait for food.
Oh, and don’t forget to greet them with a hug and kiss right when you meet. Tell them how much you missed them during the break. It will make them feel special and help you reconnect better after a break.
16. Try your best to rebuild the lost trust
Trust is the foundation pillar of every healthy relationship. You can’t ever think of a future with someone you don’t trust. And the first step towards rebuilding trust is never go back on your commitments.
Fulfill all your promises without fail, not just one. Only then will your partner feel they can depend on you.
For example, if you promised your partner to take them on a date after office, do that. Don’t make excuses, no matter what. Otherwise, it shows that you still take your relationship for granted and are not been serious about it.
17. Embrace changes
Since you are trying to repair the relationship, it’s evident that it didn’t work last time. For it to work this time, it really requires some changes.
Now think of your future and list the steps you are ready to take to reach there. Tell your partner what changes are you expecting and listen to theirs too. You can create a stable future only when you’re both committed to each other and are not afraid to make changes for that.
Be ready to meet with your partner halfway if you really want your relationship to last this time.
18. Plan your future
Well, if you keep bringing up past issues, you will always live in the past. Instead, choose to live in the present and plan for your future.
Since you want to start fresh with your partner, forgive your partner for all the past mistakes and be optimistic about the time to come.
19. Seek professional guidance
While you may now think you both are on the same page, it may not be true. So, it’s better to seek advice from a professional if you do not want any more breaks.
Of course, you can seek your family and friends too. But always know that their advice will be biased. For a neutral approach, you must connect with a professional right away.
20. Be transparent!
While you were apart from your partner, you certainly learned many lessons about life, yourself, and your relationship. So, take time to discuss it with them.
During the break, you self-reflected and understood you were also at fault. Hopefully, you realized the actual problems in your relationship.
And if you’re an overthinker, I’m sure you also thought of ways to fix those problems. So, openly communicate about them with your partner.
Talk about how poorly you managed the relationship and where your partner needs to be more responsible. If the break brought any difference in you, share that too.
21. Enlist the desired qualities in your relationship
Usually, lovers split because they expect different things from their relationships. So, before reconnecting, you must share your expectations.
Sit with your partner and list all the qualities each of you want in your relationship. It can be anything like making your relationship more loving or adventurous.
However, never force your partner to do something. Only enlist the desires the other person can actually fulfill. If you are going on opposite poles while making this list, search for a middle ground or it won’t work.
For example, if you are a proactive person, but your partner is lousy, you cannot expect them to wake up at 6 am with you to exercise. But, you can always find opportunities to hike together.
22. Never hide anything from your partner
Hiding things from your partner will only open doors for another break or a permanent end to the relationship. So, if you wish to build a stable future with them, you need to be transparent.
Tell them everything you hide about yourself. If you made out with somebody while on a break, or went on coffee dates hoping for action, be transparent about it.
This way, you won’t leave any shocking secrets for your partner to unveil later. Otherwise, they might find out later from someone else and feel betrayed.
23. Be curious… about everything in their life
At the beginning of the relationship, there’s a spark because you don’t know all about your partner and are curious for more.
The break will help you renew yourself, your partner, and your relationship.
So, now it’s time to know your partner from ground zero. Ask them about their likes, dislikes and everything else – you’ll be surprised to know that they’ve started liking things they hated before.
24. Be kind and compassionate to them because you want to
After a break, your mind is full of insecurities and concerns… so, it’s not easy to reconnect. Plus, you get more aggressive for petty things. But, even if the situations heat up or you get frustrated, remember to be kind to your partner.
If you think you cannot be patient anymore and may say hurtful things, take a 10-15 minutes break from the conversation in another room. Take space to think clearly before uttering hurtful words.
Always remember, you love this person, and must respect them with all your heart.
25. Take your time because it’s worth it!
Reconnecting after a break takes more time than the time taken to connect initially. This time, you have many complaints, and you already know your partner’s flaws. So, it’s difficult to ignore the negatives and only focus on the positives.
But, you have decided to reconnect because you love the person. So, don’t hurry and let things flow at their own pace.
If you lived together before, don’t move in right away. Go on dates before moving in and it’ll save you from disappointments.
Take time to rebuild trust… and let your partner feel the warmth. Give this enough time and your relationship will work out beautifully!
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Love is a complicated emotion and being in love or reviving love is far tougher.
So, make an effort to understand each other’s choices and ideologies. Even if you disagree, own your respective beliefs. If either of your beliefs hurts the other, it’s time to compromise. Only then can you successfully reconnect after the break.
Moreover, try to avoid petty arguments or taking long breaks. If absolutely necessary, take a break for a few minutes to calm yourself. Be patient and watch the magic rebuild in your relationship.
Remember, a break is a fresh start for your relationship but only if you treat it the right way.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...