Want to know how to be a better lover for your special person? I can’t help smiling at the thought that your partner got themself such a sweetheart!
It’s nice to know you care for your partner so much and found your way to this think-piece.
But first, know that the journey to being a better lover covers both sexual and emotional ways… and I hope you have a satisfying love life once you ace both.
So, let’s engage in the most captivating list of tips before time slips away!
How to Be a Better Lover Inside the Bedroom?
Did sex become a mechanical routine for your love life? That’s so frustrating. As a lover, you’re equally responsible for your sex life, as your partner.
And let’s be frank here, you can either feel good or uncomfortable after sex. The middling experiences are nothing but a learning… and it happens to all of us.
So, my buddy, if you want to up your game inside the bedroom… keep reading.
As you scroll down, you’ll find 15 amazing ways to fuel your sexual intimacy once again and be a great lover inside the bedroom.
Don’t worry, we will come to outside the bedroom, a bit later.
1. Start with a good prep!
Be honest: Will you like a smelly, bushy, unclean, and unprepared sight “down there”? Of course NOT.
A dense bush isn’t a crime… it’s natural, but at least groom it, darling. It will not even cost much time either. It’s just a matter of regularity in your grooming routine.
Again, how will you feel if your companion leaned in and you got a whiff of bad breath?
No one wants that! Neither girls, nor guys.
A shower before going to bed, some trimming and shaving, moisturization, and a nice body spray. That’s all you’ll need to enchant your partner during the act!
2. Tune your aura
It’s often said if you want to indulge in great sex, steer clear from a messy bed, scattered room, or any weird smell.
Well, if you want to turn this makeout session into a memorable one… you gotta work a little harder than that.
You don’t want your room to smell like a Fisherman’s Wharf with unwashed clothes scattered all over. Remove anything stinky from your room.
Take out fresh beddings, change the cushion covers, light up aromatic candles, arrange everything in order, and place. Don’t forget to spray a room freshener just to get rid of any odor.
In case you are a guy, give your girl a hot kinky outfit to allure you; and if you are a girl, buy it yourself to make him drool over you.
3. Start with a sensual compliment.
Compliments never fail…. Whether in bed, or outside bed.
Remind them that their appearance got you all hot, bothered, and on fire.
Start with short and arousing compliments and gradually take it all the way to dirty talking and wild topics.
After this, they will feel comfortable and more confident about themselves… and even a bit itchy at you-know-where.
Make sure your body language and your eyes agree with what you’re saying. Don’t hesitate to give them a flirty stare or a ravishing lip-lick. You’ll see your partner wanting you like crazy.
4. Don’t be too rapid and quick
For men, slow down champ.
Lots of guys make this mistake. It’s not a marathon, don’t rush!
If you hit your sweetheart too fast and strong, you’ll hurt her. Sure, you can’t control when your hormones are all awake and active, flooding your nerves, but take it easy dude!
And just to warn you, never be extra slow. Unfortunately, that might backfire too. Figure out a balanced speed to see what works best.
For girls, of course, you’re dying for the climax, but hold on lady.
You’ll get what you want. Learn the art of building up sexual tension. Don’t hurt him while giving him an oral just because your V is screaming… nothing can match the fun of gentle and slow.
5. Ask them to guide you
Don’t forget to ask about their urges. Nobody is a born master… and none can possibly make their first ride, the best one.
You’ll learn the tips and tricks slowly… no rushing.
Until then, there’s no harm in asking your partner to guide you through their likes and dislikes… it won’t just save you time, but also add up more joyful attempts in your list.
You won’t be firing shots in the dark this way.
So don’t think much before asking your partner for guidance, there is nothing to be awkward or weird.
You care about their pleasure and you can ofcourse, do it a lot better when they guide you through it.
6. Laugh it off!
How to deal with those awkward moments that usually lead to an uncomfortable silence?
I am sure all of us have at least asked this question once in our lifetime.
Suppose you missed the aim at your first shot. It’s not a big deal… Making mistakes is a part of the human world, and you are not an alien.
Even if both of you faced some silly awkward moments, just laugh it out without much thought.
Don’t laugh at your partner’s mistakes though.
Laugh at your own mistakes and make it light for you and your partner. That way, you’ll feel more comfortable in the next face-off.
A little sense of humor will make your bedtime sessions more enjoyable and riveting… and you both will feel more close to each other.
7. Don’t be selfish
Sex is an art… and it works both ways. The pleasure is not meant for only one of you, you both must be in it… giving and receiving.
If only you get all the pleasure, your partner will feel left out, and your relationship might turn sour. It shows disrespect and carelessness towards your partner.
So, try your best to give more pleasure than you receive from your partner.
You’ll show that you’re not only enjoying their body in bed but are also genuinely interested in their happiness.
In turn, your partner makes you feel better than what they felt. So, what you invest will follow you back, shuffled and doubled.
8. Experiment with the sexual techniques
You can’t limit the world of pleasure to your current knowledge. Explore with different positions or techniques if you want to make every attempt count.
Set goals for you and your partner. Ask them about their fantasies and try to fulfill each other’s dirty pleasures.
Different positions, different surfaces, a variety of sexual techniques, and some craziness. Test all that you can without making it extra risky.
This way both of you will feel satisfied and thrilled throughout the session. Remember, good sex is about feeling satisfied and ecstatic, so be as adventurous as possible!
9. Passionate lovemaking is enjoying the moment
When you’re aware that they love you, then you must enjoy the moment to the fullest.
Perhaps you’re stressed with all of the personal, social, and professional responsibilities, but who isn’t? It doesn’t give you the ticket to disregard your magical moment.
In fact, to make it worse, your partner might misinterpret your mental absence during your session… they might think you don’t find them interesting anymore. It hurts your partner’s pride… Do you want that? No!
If you’re worried about how long you’ll last, remember good sex isn’t about timing, it’s about your techniques. Even if you wrap up fast, you can pleasure them later with after-sex techniques.
What matters is that you really enjoy it and feel unmatched joy and warmth in each other’s presence.
Instead of the ending, focus on the beginning.
10. After-sex cuddles are a must
It’s not a business deal that you’ll close in a rush just because you have clients waiting somewhere else too… sex is extremely personal and sensitive.
Your lover won’t like it if you simply get up from the bed and run somewhere else.
You know the guilty feeling that hovers you once the satisfaction of an orgasm subsides. Not having after-sex cuddles will make you and your beloved feel even worse.
If you have your partner to cuddle and pamper you, you’ll feel better… The same goes for them.
So, some after-sex cuddles and kisses can end your sex on a pleasurable note instead of the guilty one.
11. Don’t run away from an oral job
Don’t be a selfish lover, pal. If you both like oral jobs, it must be both ways, right?
Whenever you go down on them, both of you must be comfortable with it.
Don’t show your back when it comes to being nice and dutiful in bed. In fact, your partner might interpret your habit of running away from an oral job as falling out of love.
If they give you pleasure, you must always try to give them twice the pleasure.
Ask them about their comfort and kill it! You can always take the help of some videos if you want.
12. Seek feedback
Trust me, feedback on sex can make your partner feel extremely valued.
No matter how many times you tell them that you love them, and you care for them, or you respect them… seeking feedback exclusively will make them actually feel every bit of your sincerity towards them.
Interestingly, if you ask the question with some sexual play and flirting, it may turn them ON once again!
So, go on, wake them up with a cuddle or kiss and ask them: “You liked that? Want more of it….?”
Don’t feel judged if they turn you down…. Don’t get defensive or take it to your heart.
Instead, deal with the situation positively, leave scope for improvement and end it on a happy note!
13. Explore their Body
As a partner and a lover, you should know what triggers their sexual desire.
We all have our own erogenous zones which when touched tickles you down there and you start grooving immediately.
If you’re in bed with them and do the exact thing that makes them wild, imagine how surprised, happy, and satisfied they will be.
You might even help them reach the climax sooner… if you know your partner’s fantasies that they wanted to try.
Ask your partner to guide you through their highs and lows. Gestures like nibble in the neck or a whisper in the ears can make your sessions a lot more steamy.
Infact, even a steamy massage can make things really wild. As a result, your honey will feel heard and valued… and will come back to you with a lot more heat!
All the best with that! 😉
14. Don’t judge
Honorable people… like you… mustn’t judge.
In such a vastly populated world, people have so many things to deal with. Everyone under-performs at some or the other segment of their life.
Don’t treat your partner like they’re a novice in bed or your sex disciple.
You know this is a game where one dominates and the other enjoys being dominated. But if you both are not comfortable with the choices, then you must find a common ground.
Sit down, take your partner’s hands in your own, and guide them through your body.
Be polite to them and don’t make nasty judgments because this will ultimately turn into a dirty memory.
15. Don’t force
Don’t ever let your sexual tension come between each other’s health.
If you both practice anything new or adventurous in bed and it physically hurts your partner, stop that immediately. Think of their discomfort and back off.
You can’t always expect your partner to get intimate with you every single night. On some days, you can also have fun with your sex toys, and let your partner be if they feel consumed.
Moreover, if there’s an idea or dream in bed that you want to fulfill and your partner isn’t comfortable with it – never, I repeat, NEVER force them into it.
Understand and respect each other’s boundaries.
Bravo! You made through all the tips so quickly… The next time you’re in bed, you’ll simply ace it!
Being a better lover inside the bedroom does not make you a better lover as a whole.
You know what I mean…
There’s a world outside the four walls of your bedroom and you gotta perform even better there. Are you ready? Let’s hit it!
How to Be a Better Lover Outside the Bedroom?
If your partner loves you, they can compromise with the physical pleasures, but the emotional bonding is non-negotiable.
Whether you’re young or old, you need an emotional connection for a lasting healthy relationship with your partner.
So, let’s go through a list of the most engaging emotional tips to help you become a better lover… from all-over.
16. A heart-to-heart conversation can solve anything!
Communication is the key to any healthy relationship and the same goes for couples too.
Your frequent and engaging conversation will not only make your partner understand you better… but also create an everlasting bond.
Strike sweet conversations and talk about the best moment of the day and moments when you missed them.
Never step back from a great heart-to-heart conversation.
17. Encourage their dreams
Every person has their own dreams and if your partner motivates you to achieve it, nothing like it… it can create an absolute magic to the relationship.
It’s not only girls who need support for their goals and career.
Sometimes men also need their partner’s trust and support when they pursue something different from what society expects from them.
You both need someone behind your backs to be happy at your success and put you together when you fail. So be a strong support to your partner, darling… an unshakable one!
18. Small things matter the most!
Do you know the story of big stones, pebbles, and sand that fill a jar?
Even after stuffing the jar with big stones, and pebbles there were some gaps left around the walls; only the sand filled those gaps.
Similarly, in a healthy relationship, tiny-little gestures matter a lot more than a big fancy birthday or anniversary party.
If you gift her a pair of earrings that she saw yesterday in a thrift shop or if you cook his favorite meal at home… won’t they be happy?
So, why don’t you do that? Pay attention to the small things more than the big bamboozling ones.
Grab them in your arms, and the mesmerizing smile on their face will tell you everything… this smile shows how grateful they are to have you in their life.
Something as small as comforting their feet at the end of the day with some massage can make them feel like the king or queen of the universe!
19. Never fall short of praises
Nobody in the world is born without flaws. But remember, everyone has their good parts too.
Find the good part of the person and praise him/her for the same. Respect their goodness. Appreciate the fact that your beloved is a good person, a good human…
Make sure they know how grateful you are to have them in your life… however flawed they might be.
Be the biggest cheerleader for them in the room and also give them the biggest hug in times of need… because if you’ll not hug them tight, who will?
20. Be all ears when they need you
Life is chaotic, extremely messy and also impossible at times.
But it gets easier when you have someone by your side. Be that someone for your partner.
Everyone has a vulnerable side which they hide from the outside world. So, be their safe haven and the shoulder to lean back on.
Hold them tight when they finally bare open an unlovable part of their personality. Listen wholeheartedly and let them pour all that they have in their heart with no filters.
This will keep you emotionally connected.
21. Make them believe that you won’t give up
Every relationship goes through the rocky roads, but it is worth it only when you are with someone you truly love.
If you’ve found the ONE in your life, then what’s stopping you from expressing it?
A lot of people face difficulties to trust their partners in a new relationship because of their bitter past.
They become extremely self-conscious and insecure. They live in a constant fear that their partner may leave them because of their silly mistakes or stupid behavior.
In this situation, it is your responsibility to reassure them that you are here to stay and won’t abandon them for anything.
22. Compromises count!
Every person has a different and unique personality.
In a relationship, you may need to compromise sometimes according to your partner, and that’s where the art of adjusting comes into play.
Adjustment can solve tons of issues in a relationship that can otherwise lead to long-term problems. It shows that you give importance to the relationship more than yourself.
For instance, two partners in a relationship can have different love languages – some people like physical touch, some like receiving love letters, others may just want to hear a few good words, etc.
In that case, people find a common ground and try to reciprocate in each other’s love language.
23. Confess your love more often
Do you remember the first time you said the three magical words to your partner?
How was the feeling? Must have been the best of all…
Now, when was the last time you said this to your partner? 20 minutes ago, 20 hours ago, 20 days ago, or weeks…
If you don’t even remember, then there’s nothing more upsetting than that.
But now is the time to turn tables.
Grab hold of them and just SAY… trust me, the blush will make you fall for them even harder.
This will lift your partner’s mood almost immediately and will also keep them smiling all through the day. Buddy, you’ve no idea how your confession can make your partner’s heart flutter and fly!
24. Strong people apologize!
You must have heard a few people boasting about things like, “Oh, I don’t apologize ever, he/she apologizes for every time something goes wrong”.
I hope those people realize that it will harm their relationship in the long run.
Not apologizing for your mistakes doesn’t make you strong. Infact, people who don’t have the courage to apologize are emotionally fragile. They have a poor, delicate EGO.
So, in cases, when you’re wrong or you hurt your partner, stand up and say SORRY. It doesn’t take much but it sure as hell makes them feel valued.
It shows that you care about the other person’s feelings and did not hurt them intentionally.
However, make sure you seek forgiveness sincerely and do not say it just for the sake of it… because that will hurt your partner more than no apology at all.
25. Share optimism
Being in love doesn’t mean being there for each other on sunny days only, you must stay beside them on rainy days too.
…and you can do that only when you adopt a positive approach to life. So, let go of all the pessimistic thoughts and start seeing your partner in a bright light.
Don’t welcome them with negative comments or judgments.
Remember to make them smile on their bad days and motivate them to deal with whatever issues they face.
If your partner or you are an optimist, it will be a lot more good for your relationship than either of you can imagine. You will be each other’s ray of light in dreary situations.
After all, everybody likes to be with the person who sees the glass half full.
26. Spend quality time
Going on dates with your partner is a great way to know more about them.
Usually, people go on a lot of dates in the honeymoon phase of their relationship but eventually stop doing that in the later stages.
It’s all about enjoying each other’s company amidst all the worldly issues.
Go on trips with your partner or maybe a candlelight dinner, rekindle your romance.
Strike heart-to-heart conversation with your partner, blow kisses to each other and order their favorite food.
The digital era has also made it possible for couples living afar.
People in long-distance relationships often have virtual dates with each other. Also, you both can pick a new hobby or a skill to learn together.
As long as it works for you guys, any type of date is good for your relationship.
27. Respect, Care, and Trust: The principles of love
Your relationship will thrive only if you both nurture it. It needs to be at the top of the priority list of both of you.
Trust, respect, and care form the basic foundation of your relationship.
Respect has different meanings for different people. It might be listening carefully to what the other person says and valuing each other’s needs.
Respect each other’s individuality and also your partner’s boundaries. It also means that sometimes you may disagree with them, and yet respect their opinions and ideas.
Unlike popular belief, care is not all about asking them whether they took their meals on time or not.
Care is when you feed them yourself on days when the work pressure is crazy. Pay attention to their tiny-little needs, that’s the care your partner wants.
Once you start respecting and taking care of your love, trust builds naturally…
But remember, it’s not a one-day process, you have to keep working on it.
28. Let go, when it’s needed
Every person has flaws and everyone makes mistakes and your partner is no alien. But if you want this relationship to stand the test of time, you need to forgive the person and move on.
Forgiveness might be a multi-stepped process… also depending on the intensity of the mistake.
When you come across such a situation that has taken a hit on your heart, first discuss the problem with your partner… or it may lead to grave misunderstandings, poor judgments, or impulsive decisions.
Remember that it is not “You vs Your Partner” but it is “You Both vs the Problem”.
29. Use your sense of humor
One of the most important things in a relationship is sharing a laugh with your partner. Make your partner laugh, at least once a day… and see how it adds magic to your relationship.
Share memes or watch stand-up comics, or crack silly jokes to each other. You will not only feel good about each other but also connect on a deeper level.
Let’s be honest, you need to be your real self with someone to laugh out loud.
Couples who laugh together are more friends than partners… and no relationship in the world is better than that.
So many researches around the globe supports the fact that relationships last longer for couples who make each other laugh.
Laughter will get you a long way, buddy – try it!
30. Don’t fool them with a break time 🙄!
It may be a modern concept, but no one can deny that the so-called “break from each other” breaks your heart.
Taking a break from a relationship is totally not an option! Come on, who are you fooling your partner for?
In a relationship, treat your partner as your equal. You mustn’t have a sense of superiority or inferiority among you. If they need you, you need them too.
Learn to face the situation and find a common ground with effective communication. Even then if you feel like it’s hopeless, then just call it off.
Don’t give it a BREAK and then a BREAKUP, just to make a joke out of your relationship.
So, this time you’ll either call it ON or OFF. Breaks should be out of your book.
Tadaaa Nnn! Hope these lessons go a long way and you don’t forget any of the tips in the long run.
Nothing can stop you from being the best lover for your beloved!
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Being a better lover is all about being a better human… and only a good human can think of reading this think-piece, just for the sake of improving, for one’s beloved.
Remember you are perfect as you are and soon, you’ll be the perfect partner as well.
Last but not the least, if you see that your efforts don’t pay off, then just know that there is nothing wrong with you, the other person is simply not worth the effort.
Realize that you cannot please everybody in the world. Sleep peacefully knowing that you have given your all to the relationship, and be happy about it.
Don’t waste your energy in chasing something which just can’t be attained.
There’s someone else waiting for this limitless love that you shower.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...