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Is a Hopeful Romantic Better Than a Hopeless Romantic? What You Must Know

Is a Hopeful Romantic Better Than a Hopeless Romantic? What You Must Know

Updated on May 26, 2022

Reviewed by Katina Tarver, MA (Mental Health and Wellness Counseling) , Life & Relationship Coach

Hopeful Romantic - Meaning, Signs, Reasons, How To Be a Hopeful Romantic

Wondering what’s a hopeful romantic?

Thinking if love is possible without the first sight magic?

Of course, it is! And I’m super glad you’re interested in this. People hardly idealize this type of love but I’m glad you do.

Wondering why? Well, I’ll tell you all about that in a jiffy. This think-piece has everything you need to familiarize yourself with the concept.

You’ll know how it’s different from being a hopeless romantic… and how it’s much better. And if you like the idea, I’ll also show you how to embrace it.

So, what keeps you waiting? Let’s plunge into the sea of love…

Hopeful romantic meaning

Anyone who believes in love and keeps realistic expectations with it is a hopeful romantic. They stay optimistic about love and don’t sell themselves short.

A person that’s in love with the idea of love AND is rooted in reality is a hopeful romantic. Hopeful romantics are optimists as they believe that there are many chances of finding love in the world.

They think there’s someone for everyone and will find their fated pair soon. Hopeful romantics, by experience, know that everything is happening for the best.

They don’t rush to find true or ideal love and believe good things take time. So, they continue playing their part in the world and hope that someday their stars will cross with the fated pair and they’ll slowly work it out.

A hopeful romantic is the complete opposite of a hopeless one. So, let’s know more about that in detail…

Hopeful romantic vs hopeless romantic

Probably, you’re more acquainted with the words “hopeless romantic”. I don’t blame you but the media for that. Hopeless and hopeful are antonyms.

When it comes to romance, one is much healthier than the other. Let’s find out which one.

1. Hopeful romantics don’t depend on “love at first sight”, hopeless romantics do

A hopeful romantic doesn’t jump straight in for a relationship whenever someone catches their eye. They know real love isn’t like a fairy tale.

Two people don’t magically meet and instinctually find their forever soulmate amidst a crowd. Neither do they brush off potential partners… because their hearts didn’t skip a beat when they first met.

They also wait out to check for red flags and deal breakers before beginning relationships.

Hopeless romantics, however, believe in the kind of love they show in fairy tales. They fall in love pretty fast and ignore red flags.

2. Hopeful romantics hold realistic expectations, hopeless romantics chase unrealistic ones

A hopeful romantic believes in love but there isn’t just “one” fated partner. They know love comes in all shapes and sizes and it’s possible to experience it more than once.

They don’t ignore certain love encounters because they don’t feel as intense, they aren’t as compatible, or they are nothing like what they imagined from the love stories.

Hopeless romantics, on the other hand, have a general idea or expectation about meeting the one.

They hope they’ll feel butterflies, their heart will skip a beat, and perhaps they have unrealistic expectations about their partner’s appearance or even the way they’ll meet. They have intense destiny beliefs.

They don’t feel it’s the right person unless the situation satisfies their mental checklist. While they wait to find the right person, they miss out on great catches.

3. Conflict is challenging to hopeful romantics and red flags for hopeless ones

Hopeful romantics know that there will be conflicts and disagreements in their love life. They know how things work in real life and don’t hope their partner to be as flawless as a Disney prince/princess.

They know that fights don’t mean that the other person doesn’t love them. They accept it as a relationship challenge and try to work through with a middle ground. They have passionate growth beliefs.

They believe compromise is important to make things work.

Contrarily, hopeless romantics love the idea of a no-conflict relationship. They wear their rose-colored glasses so long they’re in perfect sync with their partner. When relationship issues kick in, they want to end things.

They take any kind of conflict – big or small – as red flags or deal-breakers.

For them, matching thoughts, emotions, and responses to situations is the real deal… which is another unrealistic expectation.

4. First dates aren’t everything to hopeful romantics. They are to hopeless romantics

A hopeful romantic thinks of the first date as an adventure full of opportunities. They look forward to eventually give-and-receive love. They don’t hope that it’ll lead to a marriage situation in months or years.

However, they do feel heartbroken if the date doesn’t end on a positive note.

On the flip side, hopeless romantics feel way too excited for first dates. They hope that THIS is the moment of their life.

It’ll be as good as movies… for instance, the universe will play pranks on them to become more intimate.

Perhaps one loses their footing and the other catches them just in time… their eyes meet and they lose themselves in the loving gaze.

When such things happen neither on the first date nor later on… hopeless romantics lose interest.

5. Hopeful romantics don’t compare their relationships, hopeless ones might

Romantic comedy is also responsible for expectations for grand gestures during any special day. Hopeful romantics will feel grateful for grand gestures… but they know it’s not always possible.

They’re deeply rooted in reality and how money works.

Hopeless ones, however, focus too much on expensive and materialistic ways of wooing. They rely solely on how much their partner goes out of their way to make things sparkly.

They compare like “Oh this fictional character or my friend’s partner did this… if mine can’t, then they don’t cherish me as much”.

Comparison always results in relationship dissatisfaction. They always overlook their partner’s good traits, break up, repeat this with someone else, and eventually finding true love becomes next to impossible.

Wondering if you or someone close is a hopeful romantic? Well, let’s find it here quickly…

Signs you’re a Hopeful Romantic

Though the term hopeful romantic isn’t as popular as its counterpart… some people might already subconsciously be one of them.

Some people follow certain beliefs for generations and have no idea they were categorized into something. So, let’s find out if you’re one of them…

1. You’re positive about love and everything else

If you’re a hopeful romantic, you’ll always feel optimistic about your life. Whether it’s about a failed love life or even when your most-awaited product goes out of sale… you don’t falter.

You know that “things will work out” or “everything happens for the best”. Whatever life throws at you, you don’t feel bad… but grateful and hope for something better instead.

You aren’t dead set on unrealistic expectations. In fact, the words hopeless and romantic don’t go together in your dictionary.

2. You know the little things count the most

If you notice the smallest favors your partner does for you, you’re definitely a hopeful romantic. You know it’s not easy to show those small gestures of love.

For instance, you understand that your partner makes a meal for you even when they’re sick… it needs lots of dedication and love.

You know that if one has money, they can easily buy happiness. But little happiness has no connection with money. It comes from the bottom of their heart.

You understand that without a deep connection, you can’t understand your lover’s unspoken needs. You feel moved by people’s small actions which reek of commitment.

3. You’re not scared of the fading honeymoon phase

The excitement in relationships only lasts until you both aren’t that familiar with one another, i.e., until the end of the honeymoon phase. You feel they’re the best in the world, feel passionate, with unlimited physical intimacy.

However, with time it will cool down. If you don’t mind this natural change, you’re a hopeful romantic. You don’t mind if that crazy spark fades because you know how reality works.

One quick way to find you’re a hopeful romantic is that you have long-term relationships. If you don’t give up on your relationships too fast, you’re in for the effort it takes to build them.

4. You hardly depend on fate for love

Hopeless romantics depend too much on fate. They learn it mostly from the media where a protagonist stops trying to find love manually.

They delete dating apps, refuse friends’ date setups, and wait to collide with a “breath of fresh air” co-protagonist.

If you know those are fake and are hell-bent on finding an online date, you’re a hopeful romantic. You put the effort into seeking the perfect one!

You know nobody got good things without effort and you’re no fictional character either. If you collide with someone pretty, you know you’re clumsy, it’s not cupid!

And if the situation takes a turn that way, you run for the hills, before your name flashes in the “went missing” or “found dead” news.

5. You have definite qualities you want in someone

Another great sign of being a hopeful romantic is knowing your dealmakers. You know what kind of person you are, what you want and need in your life and from a relationship.

You won’t have an unlimited list of superficial traits. Your ideal partner’s trait list will be short and deep. You don’t know if anyone matches your needs… but wait around for someone to fit in.

When a potential partner doesn’t have it in them, you peacefully create distance and continue the search. You’re ready to seek the right person, even if it takes longer.

6. You don’t feel drama = love

The media shows us a twisted version of love. They romanticize sickening abuse, jealousy, controlling nature, anger issues, and even infidelity… It’s simply gross. However, it plays around with human psychology.

Many feel it’s okay to flirt around, at least they didn’t cheat because they love their partner. Some think a definite sign of love is when your partner behaves meanly if you flirted with someone else.

If you feel such toxicity and abuse is crap and not love, you’re definitely a hopeful romantic.

7. You know your worth and never settle for less

As a hopeful romantic, your must-have ideal partner traits are few. However, you don’t compromise with the non-negotiable. You know you’re worth a lot and won’t tolerate anything less.

For instance, your dignity never takes the backseat in the relationship. You expect your partner to respect you, be loyal, and expect them to respect your boundaries.

You’re ready to adjust with your partner, but complete sacrifice isn’t your thing. You know that you both have dignity and must protect it.

If the relationship always serves someone on the shorter side of the stick… you’re not afraid to end things.

8. Good communication is a must-have for you

For a healthy long-lasting relationship, communication is important. Most relationship issues work out with honest and open communication, compassion, and dedication.

Some believe that the relationship is great so long as they don’t find clashing opinions. So, to sustain even an imperfect relationship… they’ll avoid open communications.

Because so long they don’t know about something, it isn’t real!

However, if you practice communication both in your love life… or if you don’t have one, generally in any relationship… you’re a hopeful romantic. You believe that mismatching opinions aren’t the reasons behind lost love.

9. You don’t wait for unavailable people

People may intentionally or unintentionally lay their eyes on unavailable people. The other person might be in a relationship, aren’t ready for it, or just doesn’t want it.

Hopeless romantics in these situations wait for the other person to change their mind. 

They waste your time on someone who doesn’t care… they lose out on better love opportunities during the wait. Obviously, they regret it a lot further in the future.

But, if you don’t stick to a particular person for love and are open to receiving love from someone who’s right for you… you’re certainly a hopeful romantic.

10. You ask the important stuff before anything else

Before you set your sights on someone, do you often question the not-so-common basics? Like if this person is so good, why don’t they have a date yet?

You’re grateful that they aren’t taken, but why aren’t they even hanging around with friends? You feel that since your perception of them is so positive… but their life seems so bleak, something might be off.

If you ask the perfect questions to reach the bottom of the case… you’re not afraid to find out that the perfect hunk isn’t so perfect.

Hopeless romantics avoid such investigation because they wanna keep their pink glasses on. However, if you’re ready to investigate, you’re a hopeful romantic.

11. Romantic comedies don’t haze your thoughts

You have nothing against romcoms, you enjoy watching them despite how stupid it gets. You swoon over the cute stuff they show but you know it’s all on-screen. You’re here only to get more good feelings.

When you switch off the TV, if you know that love will enter your life but it’s nothing like romcoms… you’re a hopeful romantic!

You know that something else will happen in your love life and you’ll swoon over it even harder. However, it won’t be anything like what they act in shows… it’ll be something meaningful and deeper.

12. You judge characters well

Do you let the emotions of love take control of your judgment? When you meet a potential partner, how do you judge them?

If you’re a hopeful romantic, you won’t let emotions warp your judgment. You won’t crave the feeling of being in love and act like a puppet to it.

You won’t assume that your partner has qualities that you didn’t get proof of. You won’t ignore the qualities they show you.

You understand that some relationships aren’t meant to last long and you don’t drag it around either. You’re aware that authentic and genuine romance doesn’t need someone to change.

13. You don’t brood over the lack of love

Suppose you didn’t get a date for ages… like more than six months or even a year. What do you do?

If you feel depressed because all the good ones are taken or there are none at all… or, binge eat or drink to drown your sorrows… you’re not a hopeful romantic.

If you’re one of my dear hopeful romantics, you know your worth and won’t settle for less… your journey to find love won’t be easy. And guess you’re happy and proud of that… which I love about you!

You’d rather hang out with friends and make fun of the inconsiderate guys around you. You don’t dwell much on the lack of fish. Rather, you happily wait until the right fish comes around.

14. Your contentment lies only in you

For a hopeful romantic, relationships aren’t a necessity. You don’t depend on another person’s presence or on the FB relationship status to feel happy. You feel happy and satisfied all on your own.

You don’t need someone’s shoulder to cry after watching tragic movies. You’re the epitome of being strong and independent. You won’t latch onto someone else just for the sake of the company.

Of course, you don’t wanna be lonely forever… that thought doesn’t settle right. But your dignity tells you to wait up for the right person.

15. You connect better with real-life love stories

More than fictional characters’ perfect stories, are you a sucker for real-life romance?

In books, you read how the gallant knight saved the princess from the monsters… though it sounds romantic, you can’t feel much bliss from it.

Only when you look around you and notice an old man loving his wrinkly partner… as if they’re still high schoolers… your heart swells with joy. As that’s the exact kind of love you want in your life.

Staying committed, loyal, honest, and eternal love… that’s what you crave as a hopeful romantic.

16. You know perfection is a scam

In reality, nobody is perfect… you, your parents, siblings, friends, and all the strangers… everyone is flawed. You know that for a loving relationship if you wait for perfection… you might stay single for too long.

You understand that instead of perfection, the will to compromise is the golden quality. Your definition of “perfect” is someone that complements and respects your beliefs.

In a nutshell, compatibility isn’t about defining the type of man or woman you want. You’re rather open to all encounters and observe who fits your beliefs the best.

17. You love the same everyone, every day

Even if you’re not in love right now, you can easily check if you’re a hopeful romantic. How do you treat your dear ones during their worst?

Suppose someone close feels insecure, unsure, or shy about something. Do you get along with the skeptical talk with them? For instance, someone left a job because they were mistreated, what do you say?

“Why leave that job? At least they paid you!” Are you far from such thoughts?

If you always cheer others on their journey, that’s your sign! You love intensely and steadily now and always.

18. You put in lots of efforts

Do you cherish all relationships in your life? Do you try to do your best in all possible ways to make the relationship better?

Do you always try to upgrade yourself whenever needed? Do you want to always be better and stronger for your loved ones? Does couples counseling sound incredible to you?

If you said yes to many, you’re a hopeful romantic. You know that love will stay so long you show hospitality to the relationship. You know if you don’t care for it, it will fade away.

19. Grand gestures aren’t your relationship goals

Many people make relationship goals like grand showy proposals.

They want their boyfriend to beat the goons that picked on them. Or, their girlfriend to stay back even when they’re abusive and emotionally unavailable.

They want their partner to go down on their knees in front of a huge mass on a stage… with flowers and heart-shaped balloons everywhere.

If all of these don’t have a place in your mind or you feel it’s cute but lame… you’re a hopeful romantic.

20. You’re sure you’ll make a great parent

To be a great parent or caregiver, you gotta have good morals and a sense of reality. If you don’t show your kids the reality about love, romance, bliss, and healthy relationships, they’ll grow up to have dysfunctional ones.

If you’re a hopeful romantic, you’ll familiarize your kids with reality. Perhaps, they’ll watch Disney romance and much more in the long run… but you’ll never stop giving them the talk.

That’s the very epitome of a hopeful romantic.

Are you a hopeless romantic? Wondering why hopeful romanticism is better? Find your answers here…

Reasons why you should be hopeful romantic

To be a hopeful romantic is to believe that romance is real and it’s right to fight for love.

You stay hopeful that love comes at the best time… and when you meet the one, your partner reassures and strengthens this hope in you. And they’ll prove to you that being hopeful was right all along.

This is the greatest reason for hopeful love. But that’s not the end, so let’s check the remaining…

1. Hopeful romantics don’t limit love to one

Movies, books, and songs show that love is rare. It’s hard to find “the one” and you mustn’t let it go despite the situation.

However, hopeful love shows you that it’s rare, but it doesn’t happen just once and it’s achievable.

If someone doesn’t treat you right, it’s alright to leave them… because you’ll surely find love elsewhere, so don’t sell yourself short.

Some relationships might not work for you. That doesn’t imply that there’s nobody else for you.

2. Longing for love isn’t tragic when you’re hopeful

Modern generations think love is a farce and stress that you’ll never find it. People found pessimism is cooler about relationships and optimism is foolish.

But honestly, you aren’t a fool to hope for something good and positive. Even the ones who make fun of romance want it. They probably hate it because their attempts failed.

A child from birth wants the mother’s care and affection. Babies grow up and in different phases of life, they yearn for different kinds of love. Is the baby wrong to long for an embrace?

Being a hopeful romantic, you’ll understand that asking for love isn’t tragic, pathetic, or seeking the impossible.

3. Hopeful romance proves romance isn’t as bizarre

Some people ridicule romance and the idea of being romanced.

They find it funny like “Why must you do that to make them happy? Aren’t you just spoiling and raising their expectations?”

Well yes, you’ll spoil your partner and vice versa. And that’s how you make one another happy. Sure, they might not buy you a tropical island for your birthday… but they might get rid of your fatigue with a massage.

Romantic acts help you express your love and passion for your partner… and everyone must indulge in it.

4. Hopeful romance is never about unrealistic expectations

Realism is the foundation of hopeful romantics. You don’t expect false ideals from your partner, unlike hopeless romantics.

You know you’ll face difficulties, have conflicts, your decisions won’t match, and you’ll still make through because… you know what’s reasonable and support sense.

You won’t believe what film directors, songwriters, poets, and authors show you. You may like the mushy things they show you on the silver screen… but you know that’s a fairy tale and this is reality.

5. Hopeful romantics never stand toxicity and abuse

Hopeless romantics give away their pride, dignity, individuality, and their entire life for someone that doesn’t deserve them.

They’ll go to extremes to keep someone that doesn’t love, care, or appreciate them. They’ll also do the same to find someone to begin a relationship with.

Being a hopeful romantic, you’ll know about your boundaries. You won’t let another person walk all over you… and beg them to stay even when you’re better without them.

You’ll notice the clear difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship.

Found the reasons attractive? Wanna try being a hopeful romantic? Then, let’s know it here…

How to be a Hopeful Romantic?

If you were a hopeless romantic for long, the transition into a hopeful one might not be easy. Because you’re so used to thinking one way, you can’t do it the other way.

However, think about its benefits and hope for a beautiful life. Can you visualize yourself with a happy glowing face? I can… so why don’t we turn it into reality with these…

1. Focus on the realistic aspects of love

Along with your hopes that you’ll find love, focus on what you expect of your partner. Everyone wants a perfect love life. Make sure the definition of perfection in love is grounded and realistic.

If you hope for something from a partner, find out if you can return the same to them? If yes, are your and your partner’s life circumstances similar?

If that’s also a yes, understand that every person was brought up differently.

If you hope for the impossible, you’ll only meet disappointments. So, to save yourself from heartache, control your expectations.

True love is flawed and you’ll sometimes feel unsure. You might even want to be single because of the stress.

2. Skip the dependence on fate

If you want a healthy relationship, you won’t find one with accidental meetings. Finding a stranger beautiful and having a happily married life forever, that’s not reality.

Though it’s possible and some great couples meet that way… but how many? Let’s take a look at your surroundings.

Look at the couples in your family, friends circle, and neighbors… How many are married to fateful encounters?

It’s regularly aired on every other show and movie because it’s a fantasy. People crave the unattainable the most.

So, take over the wheel of your life. Socialize through clubs, community gatherings, and sports teams, seek friends’ single pals and seek online dates.

Of course, you won’t find the one in one go… so, don’t question your active seeking.

3. Get a vivid picture of your partner

When you seek love, it’s important to have proper qualities in your mind about your partner. Superficial qualities like million-dollar looks, weight, height, or a billion bucks, stop bothering about those.

Focus on qualities that are important to be in a healthy relationship like… good communication, understanding, open to new perceptions, reliability, on the same page about life like you (about having kids, career, post-retirement plans, etc.).

Dating is hard because you’ll figure out your preferred qualities yourself, judge and choose the person all alone, and have nobody to blame if things don’t work well.

Communicate your expectations with one another to actually make it work.

4. Don’t crave drama in the name of love

When two people are together, dramatic overthinking eventually follows in, but you gotta resist it.

For instance, they’re online, you text them… you never get a reply. “Is he/she cheating on me?” strikes your mind first.

You never think, maybe they forgot to exit the app or they fell asleep.

Other issues like a first date, sex for the first time, and first fight… everything becomes dramatic. Even if you can’t help it, try to not indulge in drama too much. Don’t think drama is something romantic as the media depicts.

Focus on drama resolution and don’t avoid it because it’s “romantic” or “cute”.

5. Avoid selling yourself short

You deserve the world so don’t think that once you’re in a relationship, it’s the end.

When the quest for love takes longer, people settle for anything they get around them. That’s a self-destructive way to deal with life.

Rather than finding just anyone and botching your relationship, focus on negotiating your expectations. Do you think your expectations are too high? Then get rid of some and search once more.

Don’t chase an imaginary ideal partner. Find someone who has the proper groundwork for protecting a relationship. Check your list of qualities and get rid of any superficial ones.

6. Be open to more efforts

Long term relationships and responsibilities go hand in hand. So, you’ll need to put in lots of effort and it won’t be easy.

Two unique people compromising day in and out isn’t always romantic. But for the sake of the relationship, do it.

Communicating regularly, being honest about your feelings, compromising, setting and respecting one another’s boundaries, not wavering about your boundaries… all these are hard to follow. But they help you find a pretty relationship.

7. Keep grand gestures out of your mind

Everyone’s financial situation isn’t the same as spending for grand gestures. If you make big money important for your relationship, you might not find the perfect one too fast.

Even if you do find a loaded person, they might leave you with materialistic gifts and be too busy to be there in person.

If grand gestures become a must-have for a happy relationship, it will eventually lead to heartbreak.

Focus on the little loving gestures like transparent communication, loyalty, intimacy, and consideration.

8. Focus on your role in relationships

You are equally a part of the relationship. You have many responsibilities and have to satisfy your partner’s expectations.

Relationships aren’t just for your contentment. Your partner’s satisfaction also matters so work on yourself.

Identify how you can be the best for your partner. What will you bring to the table? If your partner can’t help you with a grand birthday party, will you be able to cover for it?

Work to give your partner as much as you expect from them.

9. Know how relationships work

There are five major stages of a relationship and they may repeat in cycles or not follow a particular order. Most relationships usually begin the honeymoon stage when things are new and exciting.

However, at some point, this enthusiasm will fade and commence at the end of the honeymoon stage.

Be prepared to deal with the remaining stages. Don’t misinterpret a new stage as the relationship dying.

You might feel frustrated after knowing one another better. You might go through phases where you accept one another and behave like friends rather than partners… So long as you know how to deal with it and keep the romance going, it’ll be great.

10. Never judge your relationship

You and your partner are unique so your relationship will be like nobody else’s. Your best friend’s partner might take them out of town. Your sister’s partner might get them a house.

Your favorite romance novel might show a male character romancing a female character in space.

But none of those matter because you guys aren’t those people. Be happy about how you are and what you possess.

You don’t know the real story of others’ relationships because something or the other is always off… and you’re just unaware.

If your partner respects you, then stop comparing your relationship. Don’t seek something unachievable and ruin your experience.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

In our world, you won’t find many hopeful romantics. Most people from previous generations were hopeless romantics and taught their friends and children the same.

From then on, being hopelessly in love became a trend. I don’t blame anyone for being so, but it hurts to think people are ready to follow the same dynamics that snatches away their joy repeatedly. 

Moreover, when someone tries to become hopeful about true love… others come swarming in to say “You’re got it all wrong. You can’t find love that way.”

Well, time to build a healthy romantic relationship and prove to them that you’re fine with your choices… and show them how to be hopeful about love!