The dating mistakes to avoid in a new relationship are an important part of the dating process as it helps identify those subtle triggers that could turn things sour and bitter too soon. Every new relationship feels like a blessing unless the promises appear false and the vows look like fractured pieces of words that were never meant to be true.
As new relationships are fragile and need to be taken care of, it’s important not to make too many mistakes that can break the budding relationship forever. You need to give time to yourself and your partner so that you know each other’s preferences and align compatibility in a better way.
20 Dating Mistakes to Avoid In a New Relationship
New relationships are exciting experiences but it is probable to make mistakes that appear mundane yet play a tricky role in the process. When you’re falling for someone new, it is important that you are cautious and present in the moment. You should make a conscious effort not to start doing anything that can negatively impact the relationship.
Being aware of the most common pitfalls can help avoid them. You can build a strong foundation for your relationship. Some of the dating mistakes that you should avoid if you’re in a new relationship are listed below –
1. Never make yourself too available
In new relationships, the attraction is very high and it could feel like a magnetic pull. You want to spend more time with your new partner; his/her thoughts are filling up your mind every now and then.
At this juncture, you may make the mistake of always being available. But being too available can make you look like an emotionally needy and desperate person; your partner may make you walk along as per their wishes. Picking up multiple calls, or answering their texts throughout the day makes you a needy person who is not feeling enough out of the bonding.
2. Rushing the process
Your new relationship needs care and nurturance. Both of you need to know each other’s preferences, and emotional undertones subtly before you can decide upon sharing your life together. Therefore, you should never rush the process of getting to know each other. Go slow and trust your intuition in making the right choice for your future.
3. Never confuse your partner as a therapist in disguise
When you have started the process of knowing your partner deeply, it is important that you stay away from telling them about your childhood trauma, your family issues, financial hurdles, and even professional mishaps. Just share details that are needed to know each other well. Stop flooding them with information that can scare them.
Never see your partner as a therapist who can fix your personal issues rather than love you the way they expected. This dating mistake can put a question mark on the probable success of your relationship. Just be who you are in front of them and your partner will surely fall for you.
4. Don’t lose yourself in the new relationship
Another dating mistake in a relationship that you should avoid is losing your own identity while searching for true companionship. It’s important to maintain your own identity and interests when you’re in a new relationship. Don’t give up the things you love doing or the people you care about just to spend more time with your partner. A healthy relationship should allow both partners to grow and thrive individually.
5. Not enough communication
This dating mistake is a common one that many people fall into when they’re dating for the first time. When you’re still trying to get to know each other, it is important that you talk openly about each small aspect of your life. Be open and honest with your partner about your thoughts, feelings, and needs. And be sure to listen to them as well.
6. Comparing your relationship with someone else
Sometimes you may try to compare your relationship with others. This leads to unnecessary conflicts and differences of opinion with your future partner. You may feel unhappy and lacking something vital in the relationship.
Since every relationship is different, there is no point in comparisons. If you put pressure on others’ expectations of yourself, it will be a grave mistake in the early stages of the relationship. Your partner might feel annoyed or insulted in subtle ways and it could directly impact the bonding.
7. Ignoring red flags
We all have our share of faults and inadequacies. Making mistakes is a human weakness that happens just like that. However, there are certain red flags that you should never overlook. Such instances can be related to infidelity, encroaching personal boundaries, or insults and humiliation inside the family. It is better not to indulge in such a wrong habit of accepting such things and move out of the relationship instantly.
8. Too much engagement in social media
Social media acts as a double-edged sword when it comes to new relationships. If you are posting pictures and details of your union too many times on social media; think twice and take a pause.
If you find yourself constantly posting about your new date, tagging them in every photo, liking everything they post, and asking for selfies, you may want to take a step back. When you overshare on social media, it can come across as desperate and needy, which is not an attractive quality.
9. Never ignore the vital differences
You should remember that you shouldn’t ignore vital differences between the two of you; so that you can accept and stay open towards those differences in the long run. Your worldview may not be the same as your partner’s. Having shared interests is great but you need not avoid the differences as well. The incompatibilities need to be accepted fully before you take the plunge ahead for a marriage.
10. Never carry past emotional baggage
Another dating mistake that many people make in relationships is they carry their past grievances and emotional pain into their new relationship. They let their past sufferings spill over in the new bonding; thereby losing the trust of the new partner. The new partner may not fully accept it and the relationship gets bitter over time.
If your previous partner cheated you and you try to scan the intentions of the new partner every now and then, it might lead to mistrust and many other issues. So try to let go of your past relationships as much as you can.
11. Ignoring emotional boundaries
In new relationships, it is obvious to lose things and share many things with your partner. The attraction is quite on and you are not in a position to doubt anything. Therefore, your chances of ignoring boundaries are high. You might wait for them in a café yet they do not turn up.
Allowing this can hamper the boundary in the long run. It is vital to tell your partner that you expect them to at least inform you if they are getting delayed for some reason. Let them know that your time also matters a lot.
12. Accepting their annoying behavior
This is a dating mistake that most couples make in the initial stages of the relationship. If you are also accepting of your partner’s bad behavior, verbal abuse, insults, or any other form of cheating, you are making a very big mistake in your life.
The overly angry partner cannot consider you as a punching bag and you shouldn’t allow such behaviors. Just let them know that it is not okay to yell at you, or insult you in any form. When their words and actions become incompatible, you need to reconsider your decision instantly.
13. Struggling to get intimate
If you or your partner is finding it hard to get intimate both emotionally and physically, you need to have open communication in place. Just take professional help from a relationship expert and get things sorted out as soon as possible. If the struggle persists, it will be a big mistake that may hamper the relationship in days to come or forever.
14. Becoming exclusive too early
Another dating mistake takes place when you try to give too much importance to your new partner. You become too pushy and try to know whether they also hold a similar interest towards you. To avoid this, give time to yourself and try to analyze the basics of the relationship. Put a check on those brain chemicals that are too interfering in your rush decisions.
15. Too much thinking about the future
The basic mistake that commonly happens in dating is when you start planning your marriage on the second or third date. You are in a rush to finalize and think about something that may take much longer to settle out. This abrupt future planning can scare your partner as well. They may not be ready yet.
You should give them time to decide and see how things take shape in days to come. In this way, you may end up forcing the other person even when they are not prepared for the new change in their life. Let it be easy in the initial days.
16. Not being genuine
At times, you may find yourself in an anxious mental state at the start of the relationship. But it should not stop you from being genuine about who you are, your intentions, and all those subtle things that constitute just being ‘you’. Never modify your behavior in front of your partner just to please them falsely.
Inauthenticity has its own price. So avoid being inauthentic and try to feel confident about your true worth. Your partner should know you in black and white. There is nothing to hide anything from someone who intends to be your future partner.
17. Trying to change them
Another dating mistake that can make things bitter too early is your tendency to change your partner’s preferences, likes and dislikes, and overall behavior. Have an open mind and embrace their good and bad equally well. Remember that we all have downsides that make us unique. So, never try to change your partner.
Just move on with the flow and let them learn their weaknesses slowly and remove them. Your partner needs to be valued for who they are. So stop chasing their weaknesses and focus on what makes them so lovable and attractive.
18. Bringing a third party
If you are facing love issues in the dating phase, avoid taking the help of friends and relatives. Sometimes, it is better to settle down issues on your own. Bringing a third party could mean malicious intentions as well which can be damaging for the relationship. You know your best interests, so you can take their suggestions and advice but do only what your logic and rationality tell you.
19. Hooked to your Ex
Another crucial mistake in dating occurs when you try to bring your ex into the current relationship. Nobody wants to know about your past affairs unless you wish to. Moreover, you might mess up with your new partner’s true feelings for you. This dating mistake can be expensive as far as the future of your relationship is concerned.
20. Secret intentions of yours
Having hidden intentions and not being true about your feelings can act as a gross dating mistake. Your partner may feel cheated, and uninformed, and this can lead to a breakup. At times, when you try to hide things, it also makes your partner feel less valued in the relationship. So, not revealing what you should do can have a dampening impact on your relationship.
Summing Up from ‘ThePleasantRelationship’
The thrill of a new relationship is all good unless you commit some gross dating mistakes that can dampen the mood of your partner. Just go slow and move with the flow. You need to focus on knowing your partner at deeper levels. Therefore, be cautious of every step so that mistakes can be minimized in the new relationship and it gets the chance to bloom in the best way possible.
Chandrani is a former school psychologist and teacher by profession. She is a post graduate in Applied psychology with focus in clinical and health domains. Her passion for writing, kindled during school days have now become a full time freelancing endeavor. For her, writing is cathartic and keeps her mentally agile. Her lovable niches includes psychology, parenting, spirituality, lifestyle, and love and relationships. Her work depicts her perspectives about various experiences that she came across; unleashed a richer and deeper meaning of life. "Let me leave an aftertaste in the minds of few, if not many who need to find a path of absolute bliss, happiness, and inner peace."