Are you planning a coffee date? Wondering if it’s a good idea for the first introduction? Anxious about the small details in your date?
Well, you reached the perfect place because here you’ll know everything about your special coffee date… and no, it’s not about Jonathan Bray meeting a gay man!
My think-piece will suggest everything from conversation topics and etiquettes to perfect outfits and perfect venues.
So, if you can’t wait to ask them out, quickly give it a read…
Coffee Date Meaning
A coffee date is when two people with romantic intent towards one another meet publicly in a coffee shop for a casual date. It’s a great first-date idea as it keeps the pressure off.
On a coffee date, two individuals that might be romantically interested in one another meet socially over a cup of coffee.
These mostly take place in coffee shops, so the public setting keeps it quite casual. A coffee date doesn’t stress out the potential partners and is overall a perfect first date idea.
However, grabbing coffee isn’t the only idea for such first dates. You can shuffle it with anything like a juice date or a bubble tea date… if you wanna stay sober. It can be much more if you don’t mind getting drunk.
But at the end of the day, the term “coffee date” sounds classy, popular, and common. People like it over the other beverages for valid reasons.
So, wondering why a coffee date is better than others? Let’s spill the secrets here…
Advantages of Coffee Date
A coffee date is a great option to know your Tinder or Hinge match better in person. It gives you the perfect ambiance and chance to delve deeper into them and make sure you really want something more out of this connection.
So, let’s know the perks here…
1. You can go easy on yourself
If you choose a picnic date, you must prepare food, drinks, and other necessities. If you have dinner dates, you gotta dress up and groom yourself the best.
However, a coffee date isn’t as troublesome. You don’t need to prepare food or go over the top with makeup.
Though you must take care of your date outfit, you can stay casual… which is quite similar to friends’ outings.
2. Your safety is in your hands
If it’s a first date, you never know what might happen. So, if your date tries to pull off tricky business or coerces you into a sexual relationship, you can call for help from the staff or other customers.
You both feel a sense of safety and security, so you can comfortably enjoy your date. You can focus on understanding your date, instead of keeping an eye out for their actions.
3. It saves you bucks
If you asked your date out, it’s normal to cover their tab. Since coffee is inexpensive, so long as you don’t choose a high-end café, it won’t be too heavy on your wallet.
Further, if you want to continue the date, you can comfortably order a few more cups. Even if the date doesn’t work out, you won’t lose much money.
However, if your date asks you out, grabbing a coffee won’t make you feel guilty for depending on their money.
4. Nobody will get tipsy
If you go for an alcohol date, you might get drunk soon. You won’t be able to stay calm, you might become brutally honest and hurt them, you might spill dirty secrets, and even hit the hay too fast.
Coffee won’t do any of it to you. Coffee makes you more alert and aware. You can focus on your date better and notice your compatibility better.
It also boosts memory, so you can retain the little details and think fairly later. Moreover, you can make a good first impression on your date with your calm composure.
5. Your date duration is adjustable
Coffee dates only work in the morning or afternoon. So, if the date doesn’t go right, you can leave with an excuse. If you say you’re busy in the afternoon or morning, it’s more believable.
You won’t waste much time on a coffee date. But if you say it during a drinks date, they’ll know!
On the flip side, if your date is interesting and you want to spend more time with them, that’s also possible. You can hang out in the shop or go somewhere else for a romantic ambiance.
You have a good amount of time to create an extended casual date.
6. You can do it any day and anytime
Coffee dates work both for weekends and weekdays, so the meeting times can be quite flexible. If you’ll do it on weekdays, you can squeeze in 30 minutes for the date during lunch break and resume work soon.
The best coffee date hours are morning and afternoon. So, you can extend the amount of time for lunch or dinner dates, if you’re both free.
7. It’s perfect for good conversations
Meeting for coffee is a great idea if you wanna make meaningful conversations. You can sit face-to-face and understand one another better.
Usually, the tables are small enough to keep you close and keep talking with eye contact. Though not romantic, it’s cute.
However, if you go on a movie date, you gotta stay quiet and in bars, you can hardly hear them over the buzzing noise. On dinner dates, you’ll be busier chewing your steak or salad.
8. You can judge your partner’s character
On your coffee date, you can learn a lot about them… because it’s no less than a job interview. You can judge your partner based on how they treat the servers. If they act like spoiled rich brats, you have a red flag right there.
The type of drink they order also tells you about your compatibility. Whether they like it black or with milk and sugar or if they like tea over coffee but only tagged along because they’re interested in you.
You can ask a lot of questions about their life. This works like a pre-date, so if you met on online dating apps, this is the best way to understand them before you start dating.
9. The atmosphere is soothing
Coffee shops usually don’t serve alcohol, so you can rest assured that no drunkard will crash on your table.
Further, the ambiance of cafés is always warm with mild music unlike the blaring noise in pubs. So, you can listen to one another and not get a headache.
You can relax on a coffee date and it doesn’t have a rush like the closing hours in bars. Further, research says you’ll see more people asking for sex in a drinks date as compared to a coffee date.
10. You’ll attract the right kinda dates
If you want to attract a smart partner, no offense, but you have lower chances to meet them in a bar.
If you’re interested in long-term and committed relationships, you may not find such a partner in the bar. Moreover, coffee shops are full of artistic décor. You can even start small talk over that.
11. You can keep it ambiguous
If you met on online dating apps, you can’t be too sure about your partner. They might be your perfect pair or they might not be anything like their online persona.
So, if you don’t want to raise their hopes, a coffee date cuts it right. Since it’s not too romantic, it helps you keep the situation neutral and avoid breaking hearts.
12. It’s great for career opportunities
Many people might be unaware but coffee shops are a usual place for job interviews. Of course, all job interviews don’t take place in formal places.
Sometimes, recruiters look out for an honest and compassionate employee. They can easily spot you from how you treat the servers and baristas.
If you catch their eye, you might make great connections with potential employers or even coworkers. Even if a job opportunity amidst a date sounds weird, it doesn’t hurt!
13. Coffee has health benefits
Caffeine is an antioxidant and can enhance your health as it’s rich in nutrients. Studies also show that two cups of coffee daily can reduce the risks of getting cirrhosis by 44%.
Cirrhosis is a deadly liver ailment from excess alcohol consumption. So, if you can’t control your booze intake, coffee might help a bit.
14. It’s a perfect match if you both love coffee
If you’re both in love with coffee, you might have lots to share about your experiences with different coffee shops.
You can also suggest to one another your favorite ones or even take them for your next date. So, coffee itself can be a great icebreaker. And if you feel a spark, coffee can even win you a second date.
15. You can show your true self
Since you won’t have the pressure to dress up, you both will see one another’s regular looks. On fancy dates, people apply heavy makeup (it’s not just girls, BTW).
In candlelight dinners, bars, or even movie dates, due to lack of proper lighting, you may not notice whether it’s makeup or their real skin. Later you feel they catfished you.
However, the lighting in a coffee shop will help you see your date’s true face and show yours.
However, there are a few downsides, so let’s keep these in mind…
Disadvantages of Coffee Date
No date idea is invincible, so even this casual one has some shortcomings. If you’re wondering how such a harmless idea has any, well everything in life is flawed.
Even the best plans might crash down like a house of cards, so let’s know them here…
1. It’s not that romantic
A coffee shop usually doesn’t give you romantic vibes, so you won’t get the butterflies even if you like them. The moment won’t be as magical as a candlelight dinner or a Ferris wheel ride.
Research in-depth for cafes with a cozy, warm, and romantic ambiance. Make sure there’s no loud music.
2. You kinda force yourselves to talk
When you have nothing to do other than drinking coffee across one another… you force a conversation. Otherwise, the awkward silence stabs too hard.
If it’s your first date, it makes the situation far worse. You both fumble around for topics while you try to pay attention and not be rude.
Long-term couples can enjoy the silence, but you have things to do on the first date… like an interview. So, mentally prepare a set of questions you want to ask and understand them better.
3. Coffee also has side effects
Coffee won’t make you drunk but you’ll feel jittery and nervous. Your date might misread your body language and behavior and feel you’re not interested in them.
It can also make you urinate frequently. The bathroom breaks feel awkward and make your date think that it’s an excuse to get away from them. And your breath also stinks.
Try to control your caffeine intake and also order water to prevent coffee breaths.
4. Your date might not be a coffee person
Everyone doesn’t like coffee and some people can’t even tolerate it. So, make sure you don’t assume your date likes coffee. Though it’s a popular drink, it doesn’t suit everyone.
So, before you plan, ask what kind of beverage they like. You may also choose a shop that has other beverage options.
5. They might not take the date seriously
A lot of people believe a coffee date isn’t a real date. Many ask “Is grabbing coffee a date or not?” They might think it’s just a friendly outing.
If you’re not dating them for a long time or you’re old friends, they won’t get your intentions right.
You must make them aware that you’re romantically interested when you ask them out. Or, if you already asked them but forgot to mention it, try to convey your feelings during the date.
6. Coffee shops can be loud too
Even if you find a romantic and cozy café, the coffee shop will still be loud with the coffee grinding and making machines and other customers talking among themselves or while placing orders.
Communicating over loud noises will be difficult.
7. There’s zero privacy
Coffee shops are great for casual conversations. However, there are so many tables and sometimes you might even share a table for four with another couple. In these situations, personal conversations are impossible.
Further, if you also visited the same café on your past dates, the baristas might snitch on you. Yup… the servers’ gossip about their customers and they’ll particularly know their regular one.
8. It’s a bad night date
If your date can’t happen before 7 pm, a coffee date might be a flop idea. Late in the evening, coffee consumption can result in sleepless nights.
You might become a bit snappy and leave a poor impression on them. So, if you still want to visit one, make sure they serve other kinds of food and delicacies.
9. Your date may not try enough
Since coffee dates are so casual, your date might not dress up to kill the night. If you rate your dates on their attire, you might get disappointed. Nobody wears an evening gown or tux to coffee shops.
Further, you may be torn between what to wear on a first date. This might make the entire date awkward and you’ll definitely get uncomfortable stares.
10. You may not get a fair chance
Many people judge their date unfairly based on their coffee order. If your date drinks black coffee and you get a latte, they assume you’re still a baby. Some even think cream in coffee is a poor choice.
For some coffee-lovers, tea-drinkers are deal breakers. Your date might assume things from your choices which are disrespectful and unfair to you.
If you still wanna try out a coffee date, enlighten yourself with the must-dos here…
Coffee Date Etiquettes
Whether you’ll meet over coffee or tea, if you follow the etiquettes right, you won’t disappoint your date. Further, you might hit the jackpot and win the next date.
So, be serious about these small yet precious rules as you can’t afford to miss them…
1. Choose the coffee shop
If you ask them out for the coffee date, then the planning responsibility is completely yours. Don’t propose a coffee date in the first place if you don’t have any ideas. Make sure your date also agrees.
However, if your date asks you out, don’t suggest anything unless they ask you to. Select a coffee shop by yourself, but don’t tell them. This also allows you to know your date’s taste.
2. Never make them wait
Fix the time of your date according to both of your schedules. Make sure you reach the venue before time.
This will show you’re serious about your date and value their time. If you make your date wait, you’ll spoil your impression.
You may also be able to find a good spot for your date and book it. Coffee shops are usually busy, so you can offer a seat to your date when they reach.
You’ll also get used to the ambiance which can help you regain confidence. Chat with the servers or do breathing exercises alone.
You can also take your time to choose your beverage or grab a glass of water to calm your nerves.
3. Pay the bill
If you asked your date out, without a question you must offer to pay for both of your tabs.
Though it’s not about gender discrimination, you must also try to cover the tabs if you’re a male… even if your partner asked you out.
If they insist, let them pay… otherwise, they may feel you don’t want to owe them anything. If you both want to split the bill, you can pay the entire bill and your date can transfer their share to you.
4. Be prepared with icebreakers
Suppose you meet them and you’re tongue-tied… you have nothing to talk about and you spend your date in eternal silence.
This is my personal fear about dates… I worry a lot beforehand and research ways to strike a conversation.
Look up relevant conversation starters and make sure you don’t mess up anything. If you stay quiet throughout the date, they’ll take the wrong hint.
They might want to bail out earlier because you’re boring, have nothing to say, or seem like you’re forced to attend the date.
5. Don’t be distracted
During the date, maintain eye contact and listen to them carefully and respond. If you don’t have anything to say then respond with your body language. Nod sometimes to show you’re following them.
If you can’t hear them due to the loud music, ask them to repeat it and lean in instead of nodding or smiling at something inappropriate. Save yourself from embarrassing situations.
Moreover, don’t check your phone or watch as this shows you’re waiting for someone else’s text or that you’re bored and you can’t wait to leave.
Anxious about choosing your coffee date venue? Well, let me help you out here…
Where to go on a coffee date?
The easiest way to choose the coffee shop for your date is by asking your friends.
However, they won’t know your taste so you might not enjoy your date if you depend on them. Perhaps you need field research with these tips in mind…
1. Don’t choose a place near your house
Unless you know this person for ages and trust them, don’t bring them to a coffee place near your residence. If they have ill intentions, it’s dangerous.
Some think it’s safer if it’s closer to your house as you can run back to your home. However, that person will follow you back to your place and make it riskier.
Furthermore, if it’s your permanent residence, you can’t afford this mistake at all. Obviously, your house must always stay off-limits for first dates.
2. Don’t agree to a place near theirs
If they ask you out for coffee and invite you over to their place, that’s also unsafe. The moment you enter their house, your life is in danger… and I’m not being paranoid.
Instead, go for someplace neutral. Make sure they tell you about the venue and don’t share the address only. If they say it’s a surprise… Well, knowing the shop name won’t spoil it.
So, don’t agree unless you know the shop name and can verify it with the address they send. They may take you to unsafe places if you blindly follow them.
3. Make sure the place is noise-free
If you’re in charge of the venue, keep an eye out for less noisy cafés. You can’t try out all the shops around you, so ask around in your network in person and on social media.
This will help you communicate smoothly and enjoy a meaningful first date.
4. Don’t go to restaurants
Restaurants also serve coffee but they’re far busier and stink of grease. So, some opt for restaurants because they also serve coffee.
However, restaurant menus always include greasy food and the smell might be unappetizing.
Contrarily, a coffee shop is much better as they mostly smell the coffee aroma and boost your coffee appetite. Your skin won’t feel greasy in coffee shops due to better ventilation.
Further, in restaurants, other patrons’ cutlery sounds aren’t flattering for first dates… unless it’s a dinner date.
5. Go for the ideals
In case you can’t find any on your own, go for the most common ones: Starbucks or Dunkin’. These are the regular ones, but they’re a bit bland and don’t have many artistic effects.
A better alternative is any Indie coffee shop with a high rating on Google. These play soothing music all day long, have artsy styles, might even keep books, and even offer a cozier atmosphere.
Choose the venue but feel unsure about the time? I don’t blame you, so let’s seek help here…
When to go on a coffee date? (best time for coffee date)
Usually, there’s no perfect time to visit a coffee shop. It chiefly revolves around you and your date’s availability.
So, figure out your schedules and list both of your free hours. Ask them to forward your schedule if you don’t have them yet and follow these…
1. Whenever your schedules align
If you’re both busy adults, you can’t afford to be picky. Of course, some meeting times are much more favorable. But if you can’t choose them, this is the best choice.
2. Avoid weekday lunch breaks
If your office is close or the same, you might wanna catch up during your lunch break. However, that’s all it can be… a catch-up and not a date.
You’ll be tight on time and rush. So, naturally, you can’t enjoy this date. Further, even if you want to extend your date, you can’t… so it’s a shame.
3. Avoid evenings
If you have coffee in the evening past 6-7 pm, it can hamper your sleep cycle. You might feel jitters, become excessively alert, or get insomnia. Such hours are also close to dinner time, so it’ll also ruin your appetite.
4. Weekend mornings are the prime-time
Have your coffee date right after you have breakfast. Or, you can transition your coffee date into a breakfast one.
Coffee is a perfect beverage for the morning. Go out on a lazy weekend morning and energize yourself together.
If you wanna stretch the date, you can keep chatting until noon. And at the right time, ask them out for lunch.
Or, ask them out to watch a movie if that’s not enough. These will show how much you’re interested in them.
5. Avoid meeting post-workout
If you work out early in the morning, don’t go on a date right after that. Since coffee dates are pretty casual, many people assume sweaty pumped-up muscles will show off their passion.
However, that’s kinda gross and you better shower before heading out so schedule the timing accordingly.
If you confirmed your date, that’s great. But, what will you wear? Let’s figure it out here…
What to wear on a coffee date?
Though a coffee date is casual, you can’t afford to look sloppy. The trick is to catch your date off-guard with your effortless charm.
And let’s be honest, nobody will truly not put in the effort. So, if you’re ready to make heads turn, follow me…
If you’re a man…
1. Navy blue or black button-down shirt with khaki pants to look warmer in cold months. Throw on a casual jacket with a watch and a pair of sneakers to make you look irresistible.
2. A light-colored button-down shirt, a pair of denim, a jacket, and wrist or finger accessories will make you look like you’re ready to relax on a sunny day.
3. A checkered button-down shirt with a solid light-colored t-shirt makes you look like the approachable next-door guy.
Don’t forget to keep two buttons undone. You may wear Bermuda shorts or just regular khaki trousers.
4. Full-sleeve round-neck T-shirt, denim, and shades is a casual outfit and makes you look younger and playful. It emphasizes your chest muscles, so avoid it if you don’t have much. Wear loafers to maintain the casual look.
5. If you have muscular arms, wear a light shade half-sleeved shirt to flaunt them. Pair it with darker trousers, shades, and a watch. Your muscles will keep your date entertained for good. However, avoid it in colder months.
If you’re a woman…
1. A fitted sundress, a pair of flats, and a sling bag make you look comfortably confident. This irresistible look isn’t suitable for chilly weather.
2. A fit and flare dress, a pair of kitten heels, and a hand wallet are a one-stop for women with and without curves. The low heels will help you look confident and amp your posture without hurting you.
3. A button-down shirt, a pair of fitted denim, and loafers will give away the chill and effortlessly relaxed look. It looks refreshing and calm to the eyes.
4. A bodysuit and high waist jeggings with sneakers make you look sexy with the thin line of skin showing around your waist.
This outfit makes you look slimmer because the belly fat gets double squished. The jeggings make your legs look longer and thinner.
5. A crop top over a bodycon dress with a jacket, a pair of stockings, and knee-high boots are perfectly fashionable for the colder months. You’ll look hot enough to melt the snow.
Done with your fashion assortment? But your date won’t just see you, right? So, let’s try to chatter gracefully here…
What to talk about on a coffee date?
Even if you dress like a God/Goddess, your appearance alone won’t make the date A+. You also need good conversation to deepen your bond.
If you fail, you may hardly make it to the second round. So, let’s not bore our dates…
1. Know about their week
“How’s your week going?” may sound generic but in real life, a boring beginning might do wonders. This will show you’re not following a dating rule book.
You may choose a pro dating conversation starter. However, if you overuse them, they might make you look extremely experienced in dating.
2. Ask about their routine
“What does your regular life seem like?” will let you know whether they have poor work-life balance. Notice their body language if you wanna get the full story.
If they tell you they work long hours and look excited, they’re passionate about it. If they seem uncomfortable about the topic, it might be a workplace issue.
3. Learn about their leisurely activities
“What do you do on days off?” will let you know if you have any common interests. Even if you’re already aware of what they do via prior texting, ask this. Their body language will tell you if it’s a lie to get you hooked.
If you don’t find any fallacy in their words and you have common interests, that’s a great second-date idea.
4. Share info about yourself
Coffee dates aren’t one-sided interviews, so prepare your answers to similar questions. Your date will follow up with “What about you?” and “What’s your idea?”
Share everything with them honestly. If they don’t ask you anything, go with the flow and tell them your side of the story. If you have common interests, talk about those.
5. Consider the surroundings
The coffee shop has many attractive décor and books. Grab one of them and discuss your favorite shows or books while leisurely flipping through.
Or, you can just rate the coffee and how you like yours. This is a great topic for most coffee addicts. If you’re both in love with coffee, this might be the beginning of a caffeine-driven love story.
A date isn’t a date unless you flirt just a bit. But are you aware of your limits? Let’s just make sure here…
How to flirt on a coffee date?
If this coffee date is your first date, you gotta be extra precautious of your moves. You can’t behave the same you do with a long-term partner.
If you come too hard on them, they’ll surely cut it short. So, have fun with these in mind…
1. Keep your grins under control
Nobody feels comfortable when their date gives them a grin incessantly. Don’t smile like a scary monster… relax your face otherwise your date will run for the hills.
However, that doesn’t mean you gotta sit still with an ice-cold look. Rather play something in between. When they crack jokes, laugh. Flash your sexy smile sometimes.
For interesting stories, nod with enthusiasm and interest. If it’s a sad thing but you find it funny (it happens), control your expressions.
2. Maintain eye contact
While you drink coffee, look into her eyes over your cup. If she catches you looking her way, take the sip, gulp it down, and smile while maintaining eye contact.
This move if done right can make their heart skip a beat. When you talk, meet their gaze from time to time to keep the butterflies fluttering.
Again, don’t stare holes into her eyes. Look away from them to soak the scenery in but keep the natural smile plastered on your face.
3. Tease them positively
Make fun of them but don’t make it hurtful. Never joke about their family, finances, or any other touchy topics. Keep your tone playful and don’t do it too often as that gives away the wrong vibes.
Your date might think you called them for a roast or insult session if you do it throughout. If you crack two jokes about them, make at least one about yourself. This will show them you didn’t mean any harm and are just a fun-loving person.
4. Shower them with sincere compliments
Flatter your date a little bit but genuinely. Don’t make things up, otherwise, your date will assume you wanna curry favor with them. It’ll also look forced which will give away you’re lying.
If it’s a real one, you’ll deliver it naturally. It doesn’t matter if it’s something as simple as “your hair looks nice”. Your date doesn’t expect you to be a poet, so don’t pressure yourself to be one.
When you compliment them, gaze into their eyes to convince them better.
5. Touch them within your limits
Make very slight nonsexual physical contact with your date if you both like one another. To flirt properly, make very subtle and non-offensive physical contact. Don’t do it too often or it’ll make them uncomfortable.
Begin with accidental touches like brushing their knuckles with yours. Slightly brush their arms or knees with yours. Nothing grabby-feely will help the situation.
If they’re wearing any interesting accessories on their wrist or have their nails done, lightly grab their hand with consent to check it.
Many don’t know this but you must always know the skill to ask someone out instantly. So, if you’re interested, let’s get down to work here…
How to ask someone for a coffee date?
You may not always find love on Tinder or among your friends. However, you might meet this uber handsome/gorgeous person at a concert, a friend’s party, or even at the gas station but you just can’t look away.
Don’t you wanna know them better? If you’re truly interested, try to win your date with these steps…
1. Search for a coffee shop
When you spot the person, if you’re unaware of coffee shops around you, Google out the most affordable yet classy one. If you have something in mind, they’ll know you’re prepared.
2. Read their body language
From afar, read this person’s body language. Look at them, do they turn away? Then they aren’t interested. If they hold eye contact or don’t have a defensive stance, that’s a green signal.
3. Read their facial expression
Approach the person for a better look and smile and wave while you walk towards them. If they return the gesture, that’s good news. If they give a disgusted or disinterested expression, back off.
4. Introduce yourself
If you get a positive answer, tell them who you are and where you’re from. Greet the person without being overly touchy-feely. If they’re interested, they’ll also share their name.
5. Listen to them carefully
Make small talk with them and be honest that you found them attractive… don’t look creepy or touch them while complimenting them. When they respond to you, notice if they’re still interested.
6. Verbally ask them out
Don’t take too long to say “I’d like to take you out on a coffee date. Are you game?” or any other variant. Sound confident and make sure you don’t stutter.
You may also ask them out in a group setting if you both have company… nobody will ditch their friends for a random date, so you earn brownie points this way.
If it’s too late for a coffee date, suggest exchanging contact and meet another day.
7. Share the perks of the place
They may ask you about what’s good about the coffee shop, so your quick research will help out. Or, you may praise the place yourself like “They recently promoted a great food item for a limited period, wanna check it out?”
8. Try to find their interests
If they agree to the date, try to know more about this person. Know about their likes and dislikes to build rapport. Don’t become too inquisitive if they have peculiar dislikes and allow them their personal space.
9. Don’t overthink
Even if you hit rock bottom during the conversation, don’t overthink. Don’t expect anything extreme from them like a follow-up date, kiss, or sex afterward. You might be extremely disappointed otherwise.
10. Read them properly
Throughout the date, listen to them actively and you’ll understand if they’re up for another date ever again.
If they mention having a partner, don’t feel taken advantage of because this is a normal and respectful way to turn down dates. You asked them out first so don’t overreact and separate without hard feelings.
Wondering if there are other ways to enhance your coffee date? Well, there sure are, so let’s give it a look here…
Coffee date tips
You can always improve your date ideas depending on your date’s convenience, taste, and choices.
Show them how considerate you are and it will be an enjoyable memory. If you make your crush feel special, you’ll get better results, so keep these in mind…
1. Confirm the date before you set out
In the era of online dating, being ghosted or stood up is obnoxiously regular. It’s so common that people just accept it as tough luck… because they have nothing to do. They can’t fight with the other person for being inconsiderate.
So, before you set out for the date, confirm that they’re coming. Drop them a text or call about meeting at your chosen venue and time.
However, if you reach out and they’re late, wait for 30 mins at most for them to reach out. If they don’t text or call to inform you about being late, do what you want. You may return or stay back to enjoy your favorite coffee on your own.
2. Take time to pick the tables
Avoid side-by-side seats if this is your first date. This doesn’t help you in having a conversation comfortably. You can’t make eye contact with them unless you twist your entire body.
Or, you’ll probably talk throughout while looking into your coffee… this is no different than talking over the phone.
So, choose a table where you can sit face-to-face to get a good look at one another and you can make eye contact.
You can also sit diagonally to not look into one another whenever you raise your head. This also allows you to make subtle physical contact.
Choose outdoor seats if it’s a sunny winter morning. If it’s hot, humid, chilly, or rainy, go indoors.
3. Make sure the location is safe
Make sure you choose a safe and conspicuous location. If you must reach the shop through shady areas, it’ll leave a bad impression on your date.
Check-in with your date about their commute availability to that place. Choose someplace where you both can get a ride back home and reach safely on time.
If your date has a specific area they feel safe around, consider that.
4. Choose your order online
Check the menu of your chosen café online and select your order. This will save you time when you order with your date. You’ll look decisive and confident.
Don’t say the same old “I’ll have the same” as it makes you look lazy and unflattering. If you research well through the café’s reviews, you can also help your date if they can’t decide.
3. Order an apt size coffee
Large size coffee takes you longer to finish. It’ll make your date overwhelmingly long, so you can’t easily exit the date.
If you order a small size coffee, you’ll finish it quite fast and you won’t have enough time to know one another.
So, go for the medium size or grande if it’s your first date. If this is your steady partner or an old friend, choose whatever you like.
5. Be mindful of your actions
Sometimes orders go wrong… everyone is a human, so it might be someone’s first working day or they might have a bad day.
Don’t scream or overreact about a wrong order because your date judges your actions. Your partner will be impressed if you don’t treat the servers or baristas poorly.
However, if you’re allergic to any possible ingredient, let them know while ordering.
6. Make sure it’s not a repeat
If this isn’t your first date with them, don’t take them to the same coffee shop repeatedly… unless your date says it’s their favorite or insists on going.
If you visited a particular shop with an ex-partner, don’t visit it on the new date. You might run into your ex if it was their favorite and spoil the ambiance.
Further, don’t bring any date to your favorite coffeehouse unless you’re committed. If you end on a bitter note, you won’t be able to visit it without hurting.
7. Treat them to sweet delicacies
Unless your date doesn’t like sugary food, offer them something sweet to bond better. Sugar consumption releases positive chemicals in your brain and makes you feel warm and comfortable.
You’ll become more intimate with your date and at least be good friends at the end. Even if your partner insists on splitting the tab, insist on covering for the sweet item as it was your treat.
8. Don’t dig too deep
Never pry in too deep in your partner’s life. Stick to topics like family, job, recreation, and qualification. These are easy questions and they’ll want to continue the date longer.
Know about how many people they have in their family, how far they studied, their passions, what they like or dislike about their job, and so on. Keep the questions interesting to not bore them.
9. Plan the next step beforehand
If your date goes well, you might wanna extend it. Will you go out on a walk, to a movie, amusement park, or restaurant?
Research the available fun places around your venue ahead of time so you don’t fumble around last minute.
If your date isn’t enjoyable, you might wanna flee. Decide an exit plan too with a believable excuse. You may also ask a friend to ring you up for urgent office matters when you give them the cue.
10. Skip the busy hours
Visit the coffee shop before to know about their busy hours directly from them or trust Google’s estimate. Coffee shops are always busy during public holidays, weekends, and breakfast and lunch hours.
You can’t comfortably communicate with your date through rush hours as they’re distracting. Try to plan your date on a fairly rush-free hour.
11. Bond with the baristas
If you’re friendly with the servers and baristas, your exchange with them will impress your date. They’ll think you’re attractive to others’ eyes and perceive you as more interesting.
Try to memorize the employees’ names if you’re a regular. This will make you look social. Tip at least a dollar for each order to keep everyone on your side. They might treat you with special perks and it’ll impress your date.
12. Visit the washroom first
Before your partner reaches the venue, visit the washroom. Caffeine makes you urinate frequently so if your bladder is empty for a while, it won’t frequently disrupt your date.
Another tip is to take longer to drink your coffee. Small sips will delay your bathroom break and prolong your date.
13. Use what’s available
Coffee shops allow you many board games. So, if you’re good at any of them, take the chance to show off and impress your date. Get in a friendly competition for playful banter.
Moreover, if you’re exceedingly good at a game, you’ll seem more attractive and intelligent to your date. They might be more inclined to desire a second date.
14. Brush your teeth
Excess coffee won’t just give you coffee breath… the sulfur compounds and tannins also spot your teeth which is unflattering.
Carry your toothbrush and small toothpaste. Take a break and quickly clean up once you finish your drink. Within minutes, you’ll become ready to flash your gorgeous smile or kiss.
15. Don’t consume coffee in excess
Coffee can energize you but once it wears off you experience a caffeine crash and the excess sweetness can cause a sugar crash. Both of these make you extremely fatigued, lazy, and moody.
If you’re prone to such aftereffects, choose your drink wisely. Go for a low caffeine content beverage like green tea.
During the pandemic “virtual coffee date” became popular. Do you wanna try it out? Then know how it works here…
What is a Virtual coffee date?
On a virtual coffee date, you have a video call over a cup of coffee. The coffee limits the amount of time you spend with one another which prevents you from getting bored from long calls and becomes an excuse to end the date.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, are quarantined, or have other reasons to not meet in person, you can have a virtual coffee date.
So, how does it work? You get in touch over a video call through your smartphone or any other system and spend time drinking coffee.
Many of you might ask, “Can’t we just have a video or regular phone call?”
Well, a regular phone call doesn’t feel special. A video call without coffee lacks any time limit. When you have a coffee mug in your hand, you’ll have a set time limit. So, the moment you finish your cup, you can excuse yourself out because you gotta do the dishes.
The coffee sips also work as filler in between to make up for the silence and you get time to think about the next topic.
It’s also something fun, so if someone wants to spend more time with you, they’ll appear with a humongous coffee mug and you’ll know they’re interested.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Coffee dates may seem casual but you gotta put in energy and emotions if you want it to work. As they say, nothing good comes for free, it’s the same for love.
So, whether you have a partner already or are currently single, explore the coffeehouses in your area to know which one is the best for your next date.
Furthermore, when a guy asks you for coffee, know that he’s extremely nervous about the situation. Don’t be too hard on the poor man and put in the effort. Make the time spent enjoyable… whether you’ll meet them again or not.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...