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Why Do Guys Act Rude When They Like You? – 20 Reasons Behind It

Why Do Guys Act Rude When They Like You? – 20 Reasons Behind It

Updated on Oct 11, 2023

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

Why Do Guys Act Rude When They Like You - 20 Reasons Behind It

So, you’re wondering why guys act rude when they like you. You know he has a soft corner for you and even does you favors sometimes. However, he can never be kind to you.

Of course, you feel confused by his mixed signals… even wonder whether you’re reading too much between the lines. 

Well, it’s high time you understand the meaning of his off-behavior here!

Why Do Guys Act Rude When They Like You? – 20 Reasons

When you spend alone time with him, he’s the sweetest man on earth… but around his friends, he acts like a douchebag. Initially, you believed he wasn’t in a good mood or just nervous, but it turned into a pattern leaving you confused.

If you relate to that story, let’s dig deeper into it! 

1. He’s shy and doesn’t know how to approach you

Even if guys act all tough on the outside, a lot of them are actually shy. So, he might be acting rudely in order to mask this shyness. 

He does not know how to make conversation with you or convey his interest. He wants you to create a safe space so that he can open up. 

2. He’s trying to put up a cool front before his friends

Guys are often taught to be unemotional from a young age. So, they believe that if they show feelings, people will call them weak. 

So, especially if a guy acts rudely to you in front of his friends, it does not mean that he dislikes you. Quite oppositely, it means that his emotions are too strong, and he wants them to remain hidden.

3. He might be going through a tough time

Quite ironic, but people often take out their negative feelings on their loved ones when they experience something bad. Guys are not immune to that. 

So, if a guy is being rude to you, chances are that he is not in a good place. He needs the time and space to figure things out. 

4. He is insecure

Just like women, guys also suffer from their own insecurities. When a guy is speaking to you roughly, chances are that he feels inadequate in front of you. He believes that you are out of the league and therefore tries to protect himself from disappointment. 

5. He wants to be noticed

One of the obvious reasons behind this is that he believes you don’t like him. He treats you rudely to get you to notice him, believing that something is better than nothing. 

Alternatively, he might also act this way because he is disappointed that you don’t feel the same way.

6. He is afraid of commitment

For some men, even the thought of getting into a relationship makes them lose their nerves. They fear committing that badly!

So, this guy might act mean to push you away before you fall for him. He does not wish to date anyone seriously and is ready to do anything to avoid it. 

7. He believes that it’s funny

Occasionally, a guy’s rudeness can be the result of his weird sense of humor. He throws around sarcastic comments because he finds your reactions amusing. 

8. He wants to forget you because you’re taken

If you are in a relationship, the guy usually knows that he has no chance of getting you. He believes that by acting rudely, he can somehow lessen his feelings for you. He does not want to feel the pain of unrequited love, and therefore he is protecting himself. 

Further, he might also be exasperated because he can’t control his emotions and therefore acts this way. 

9. He feels guilty for his girlfriend

Another reason for such behavior is that he is in a relationship. He feels guilty, and he does not want to cheat on his girlfriend. He thinks his rude remarks will push you away and hide his feelings from his girlfriend. 

10. He wants you to pursue him

Sometimes, men act rude when they try to play hard to get. So, if he believes that being unavailable and unattainable will make him seem more desirable. He thinks that the ruder he is, the more you would want to chase him

11. He might be jealous

It does not matter whether you are single or in a relationship, a man who likes you will always be jealous of the other men in your life. So, if a guy is acting rude, it is probably because he thinks only he deserves all your attention. 

12. He has been hurt in the past, and so he is protecting himself

A guy’s behavior might also be influenced by his negative experiences. If he has been through a terrible heartbreak, he’ll fear being vulnerable to anyone. 

Therefore, by acting this way, he pushes you away and makes sure that the two of you don’t have a future. He needs time to heal his scars before he can accept you in his life wholeheartedly. 

13. He believes that being rude is equivalent to flirting

Even though it may seem counter-intuitive, being rude might actually be his way of flirting with you. 

He does not know how to flirt or talk about his feelings normally. Therefore, to show his interest, he ends up trying too hard. It’s high time he needs to understand that this really is an absurd way of flirting

14. He is afraid of rejection

When someone faces rejection, it makes them question their worth. They lose confidence and believe that they are destined to be alone. 

So, just like everyone else, guys also go to great lengths in order to avoid the pain of rejection. He is acting like a jerk because he believes that you will never return his feelings. 

15. He is not emotionally intelligent 

People with poor emotional intelligence can’t deal with their feelings and often resort to unhealthy defense mechanisms. So, he might be the same!

He does not know what he should do with his affection for you, and so he pushes it down and acts like a jerk.  

16. He is testing whether you are interested

A sneaky reason why a guy might do this is that he wants to see whether you return his feelings. He believes that if you like him back, you will continue talking to him despite his rude behavior. 

This is definitely not the best method, but that’s his way of testing your feelings.

17. He’s afraid of losing his independence

Men value their freedom a lot and believe that a relationship will inevitably take that away from them. 

So, a guy might act rude to have the freedom to make his own decisions at all times without having to let anyone pitch in. 

He wants to have the option to date other women, and he is not ready to settle down with anyone. 

18. He does not want to look desperate

One of the reasons why he might be acting rudely is that he is afraid of looking desperate. He feels that if you find out about his feelings, it will make you think that he is needy.

Therefore, he is using every weapon he has in his arsenal in order to mask his feelings.  

19. He is worried about his masculinity

Men often try to repress their emotions to seem masculine. They internalize the stereotypical notion that feelings are a woman’s business. 

So, if a guy is acting rude, it might be because he can’t come to terms with the fact that he harbors soft emotions like romantic feelings. 

20. He believes that being rude makes him dominant and attractive

Some men believe that since women want a protector and provider, they are attracted to men that act or talk roughly. 

They believe women desire to be dominated. They do it all to appear as an alpha male but forget that there is a difference between being rude and being assertive. 

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

No matter what his reasons are, remember to never let his actions drag down your energy. If you feel concerned, you can communicate with him and try to understand him better.

However, if he acts rudely all over, set strong boundaries. Show him that you’re not to be toyed around by his emotional responses. Don’t let him hurt your self-confidence, and no better than to stand such behavior!