You need to know why long-distance relationships don’t work… whether you’re skeptical about it or just about to try it out.
It can save you from possible pain and suffering in the long run. Moreover, it’s always better to try something risky when you know everything you might risk.
So, let’s dive right into it!
18 Reasons Why Long-Distance Relationships Don’t Work
When you’re just about to start long-distance, you commit to bear with it through thick and thin. Initially, it gives you the butterflies when you connect on video call after a long day.
However, most of the time, this doesn’t work out for the best. And no, it’s not always because partners cheat. So, let’s know it all here…
1. It can get taxing to catch up virtually
In today’s world, almost everyone works on their phones or laptops. Therefore, the last thing you might want to do is to open your computer after work.
Calling someone up every day can become a chore just to catch up with them. So, long-distance relationships often don’t work because of how taxing virtual communication gets.
2. Conflict and resolving it can become different and difficult
When you are in a long-distance relationship, both conflict and resolving conflict can change for the worse.
Firstly, there is more room for misunderstandings. Secondly, since you are not with your partner in person, it can be almost impossible to notice their non-verbal cues. Resentment may even linger after arguing.
All of these make the relationship tougher.
3. You can’t deal with personal issues
In long-distance relationships, a partner’s problems overwhelm them, thus affecting the relationship.
You can deal with your troubles alone since you don’t have your partner’s support. So, you won’t be able to give your partner the right amount of time and effort.
4. You might start to want different things
While in a long-distance relationship, you meet different people and have vastly dissimilar experiences. You start desiring different things.
Since you can’t meet them in person, you can’t infer whether you are growing apart.
You both also have clashing expectations. These are about how each navigates the relationship and how often you meet or talk on the phone. This leads to arguments and, thus, a breakup.
5. You’ll be on an emotional roller-coaster
Your emotions can get really out of hand in a long-distance relationship. This makes it even tougher to make it work.
For instance, there is the constant sadness coming from being apart. This results in anger, frustration, and resentment. Again, you feel all the excitement in the world on the days you meet them.
6. You don’t know about each other’s daily lives
A relationship is about how you spend your daily life with your partner. It’s not just special dates where everything seems colorful. So, when you miss out on that, you actually miss out on a lot.
When you finally meet, you realize that you don’t know anything about their life. Thus, the relationship takes a toll.
7. There is a lot of room to hide things
There is always some room to hide things from your partner. But that room becomes enormous when you are in a long-distance relationship.
You may feel keeping one or two secrets or telling a few white lies is okay. But with time, those lies and secrets are bound to pile up and make a mess.
8. There is no physical intimacy
In long-distance relationships, physical intimacy becomes non-existent. And nothing can replace intimacy.
You may have numerous deep and intimate conversations on the phone. But you cannot evade the fact that you cannot hold hands, kiss, cuddle, or have sex.
9. There is a lot of room for cheating
Monogamy is challenging in its own right. And when it is long-distance, it is even more so. The awful amount of loneliness and meeting new, charming people make you take the wrong step. You believe something they don’t know about cannot hurt them.
10. Communication starts to break down after a point
Long-distance relationships affect both the quality and quantity of your communication. Many things are left unsaid and pushed under the carpet, thinking it’s not the right time.
Moreover, it can be almost impossible to interpret each other’s emotions and body language. All in all, communication breaks down, and so does the relationship.
11. You struggle to organize and manage time
Organizing and managing time can be hard in a long-distance relationship, especially if you both have busy schedules.
You must maintain communication regularly and schedule phone calls and virtual date nights. You hardly get time for yourself, and the relationship can’t survive.
12. There is bound to be a lack of trust
You cannot make someone trust you by telling them you are trustworthy.
To build trust, you need to show it through your actions. In a long-distance relationship, it’s to build and maintain trust. You always feel insecure about your partner cheating on you.
13. Meetings get costly
Long-distance relationships also need money to make it work. Especially if you want to meet, travel tickets don’t come for free.
There is also the extra cost of taking leaves, booking hotels, long-distance phone calls, and even sending the occasional care package.
14. The spark dies
It’s tough to keep the spark alive in a long-distance relationship. The lack of physical intimacy and communication leads to boredom. Moreover, since you spend lots of time apart, you see each other’s flaws more objectively.
15. You may start having separation anxiety
Separation anxiety and anger toward a partner leaving drive couples apart emotionally. Moreover, this anxiety can make you insecure about your partner’s feelings for you. This ultimately ruins the relationship.
16. Life becomes different
Some long-distance relationships end just because of differences in living environments, new and divergent interests, and cultures. As a result, you obviously grow further apart than you already are.
17. You don’t get to spend quality time together
In a long-distance relationship, you don’t really get to spend quality time together.
Virtual dates can only go so far. There are no candlelight dinners, movie dates, long drives, and sitting on the couch and reading a book.
There is only a face on the screen and a voice on the other end of the line.
18. You might have to wait years
People get into long-distance relationships to study or work in a different country. All of these things can take years.
So, your will to work through the tough times decreases with time. Moreover, if there is no end date in sight, you can’t justify whether it is really worth it.
Now that you know about many roadblocks, you must be curious whether long-distance always leads to failure. So, let’s know that here!
Do all long-distance relationships fail?
Just like no two relationships are similar, neither are two long-distance relationships.
So, the answer depends on the dynamics and characteristics of the individual relationship. But of course, it is definitely more demanding and difficult.
The greatest factor on which the longevity of your long-distance relationship depends is distance.
Is your partner a one-day train ride away? Or do you have to cross continents?
The second one is obviously harder to work out than the first.
The next factor is how the decision is taken.
If it’s unilateral, it can lead to the leaving party feeling guilty and the other party resenting them for leaving.
But if it was mutual, things might be better.
The bottom line is that if two people really love each other, they might be able to make it work.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Long-distance relationships are hard, and multiple reasons can go wrong. So, think hard before you get into one.
However, if you’re deeply in love or have a long-term relationship, this isn’t a good excuse to end a healthy long-distance bond.
The intention of this article was only to enlighten you about the possible troubles. If your love is strong enough, you can make things work with this knowledge. Figure out how to overcome these reasons and let love thrive!
Are you interested to know more about ‘Why Would A Man Hide His Relationship?’ then click here?
Are you interested to know more about ‘Things That Bring Couples Closer Together’ then click here?
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...